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“Ryuu, stop staring at Nakajima’s photo, it’s creeping me out.” Gin tells her brother with grimace.
“Shut up, Gin.” Akutagawa responds, not taking his eyes off his phone.
“You’ve been staring at it for like, half an hour.” Gin says as she puts chips on her mouth.
“It’s just . . I just think that this is very illegal, no?” Akutagawa says back, showing the screen to his sister. “That stupid weretiger, looking like this . .”
A photo of Atsushi wearing an oversized white shirt, light denim boyfriend pants and white Chuck Taylors. Gin squints her eyes, carefully scanning the screen. “Looking like what, exactly? I don’t get it. Is there a secret code here or something?”
“For . . looking like this! With an outfit like that, and his stupid hair, and his stupid face, looking so pretty like that . . ” Akutagawa says, voice becoming weaker and weaker with each word uttered.
“Can you repeat the last part? I couldn’t hear.”
“I said . . he’s pretty . .” Akutagawa says with a small flush on his face, looking to the side, avoiding eye contact with his sister.
“Oh, okay— wait . . what?!” Gin stands up, eyes wide in shock, finger pointing to Akutagawa. “Don’t tell me, you . . ”
Akutagawa slowly looks up at her and nods slowly.
“Oh my God, Ryuu. You’ve grown up,” Gin says as she pretends to wear her fake tears.
Akutagawa averts his eyes again. “I forgot I have matters to attend to. Now, if you may excuse me.”
Before he could walk out, Gin stops him by holding her brother’s wrist. “No, brother,” She says before grinning. “You’re gonna stay here and you’re gonna tell me every last bit of detail there is— wait, where’d you even get that photo?”
“From Dazai-san,” Akutagawa says, almost whispering. “He, uh, kinda caught me staring at Atsushi during the meeting we had about 2 days ago.”
“Dude, you’re even staring at him? That’s so creepy!” Gin says with a tease, letting go of Akutagawa’s wrist as she makes a disgusted look. Akutagawa rolls his eyes.
—
Dazai was about to sleep when he hears his phone vibrate. He looks at his phone to see who had texted him.
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
What’s Nakajima doing right now?
[Osamu Dazai]
working
duh
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
Has he eaten breakfast yet?
Make sure he’s eating properly
Dazai rolls his eyes.
[Osamu Dazai]
why do i even have to do that
im not his mother or some shit
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
Just make sure he’s eating properly, please
[Osamu Dazai]
ugh
whatever
invite him for a meal if u want to
dont disturb me
im tryna sleep
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
Sleep or I’ll tell Chuuya you lost your ring he gave you when you jumped in that waterfall once attempting suicide
And are you out of your mind
I can’t invite him out
Dazai widens his eyes.
[Osamu Dazai]
WTF
HOW DO U EVEN KNOW THAT
and why cant u invite him
pussy
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
I’m not a pussy.
What if he doesn’t want to?
[Osamu Dazai]
oh god
he’s a pussy AND he’s dumb
pick a struggle
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
I’m calling Chuuya.
[Osamu Dazai]
HEY STOP
FINE
i’ll ask him
[Ryuynosuke Akutaga]
Thank you.
:)
Dazai lets out a groan. “This bastard,” he says, whisper-shouting.
“Dazai-san? What’s the matter?” Atsushi turns to him, with worry on his face.
Dazai sits upright. “Oh, uh, nothing! Just got caught up with something, that’s all~!” He says cheerfully. Atsushi nods and was about to avert his gaze from the brown-haired boy when all of a sudden it felt like a really bright lightbulb had just appeared on the top of his head.
“Actually, Atsushi-kun, can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure, what’s that?”
“How do you feel about Akutagawa?”
With the reddening of his cheeks and the loud coughing Atsushi had let out, Dazai already knew the answer.
—
“Atsushi-kun, if Akutagawa-kun asked you out on a date, what would you say?” Dazai suddenly asks nonchalantly.
Atsushi’s face quickly redden at the sudden remark. “Wh-Wh-What do you mean?” Atsushi manages to say. “You asked something about . . him, too, the other day. .”
“Hm? Oh, that’s just nothing! I’m just curious, that’s all!” Dazai grins. “So . . ?” He says, expecting an answer.
“Honestly, I . . I wouldn’t mind.” Atsushi says, looking away, before letting out a sigh. “But who am I kidding though? He’d never ask me out. I feel like he probably doesn’t even wanna see me. He doesn’t even like me back.” Atsushi rambles without thinking, and it was only about a minute later until he fully realizes what he had just said.
“I . . I-I just shamelessly and wholeheartedly confessed my feelings for Akutagawa just now, didn’t I?” He asked, hands covering his mouth.
Dazai lets out a big laugh. “Oh yes you did,” He says as he tries to stop himself from laughing. “You absolutely did, Atsushi-kun.”
—
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
Can you tell that Lucy girl to kindly go away
Why’s she beside Jinko?
And she’s very close to him as well.
Does she like him?
[Osamu Dazai]
mf this is literally where lucy works
also how do u even know this
r u stalking atsushi
[Ryuunosuke Akutaga]
Tell her to go back to working then.
I’m not stalking him. We just happened to pass by.
I’m with Chuuya.
[Osamu Dazai]
ohoho?
hold on
[Ryuunosuke Akutagawa]
What’re you planning to do?
Akutagawa turns off his phone when Dazai doesn’t respond. He’s probably up to no good. Just then, Chuuya’s phone vibrates signaling a text message.
“Who’s that?”
“Oh, it’s Dazai,” Chuuya says. “He wants me to go to Café Uzumaki.”
“. . What?”
“Yeah. And he said I should bring along someone if I’m with someone else right now. It’s like he knows I’m with you right now! Don’t you think that’s so cool?”
—
“Oh! Oh! Chuuya~! There you are! And Akutagawa-kun, too, apparently! Wow, didn’t expect you to be here,” Dazai bashfully says as he sees the two mafiosos enter the door.
Akutagawa rolls his eyes as they go towards Dazai and Atsushi’s table. There he sees the silver-haired boy laughing while talking to Lucy. The black-haired boy’s face dulled.
“Oh, hold on, I gotta go back to work now!” Lucy says as she gracefully walks towards the counter.
“Okay— Oh, Akutagawa-kun, hello!” Atsushi looks at him with light pink painted on his face as he smiles brightly. Too bright. Too cute. Too beautiful.
“Hey.” Akutagawa responds, avoiding Atsushi’s eyes. He’d probably drown if he stares at them for too long.
“You can sit beside Daz— wait, where’s Dazai-san?” Atsushi says, confused, only to find Dazai and Chuuya on a different table.
Akutagawa sighs. That Dazai bastard.
“Heyyyy, we’re sitting at a different table than you, sorry, Chuuya said he missed me so much he wanted some alone time with me~!”
“Quit lying, dumbass!” Chuuya says as he lightly (actually, not) punches Dazai’s right shoulder with cheeks slowly turning red.
“Well, I guess, that just leaves you and me then.” Atsushi says with a smile.
“I suppose so.” Akutagawa responds as he takes a seat opposite of Atsushi’s.
Both of them fall silent as Akutagawa receives his ordered treat. The silence, although a little awkward, was calm and warm at the very least.
“Do you like sweets?” Atsushi says as he sips from his coffee.
“I like them a lot, yes.” Akutagawa responds, eating a small bite of his blueberry cheesecake.
“Me too!” Atsushi cheerfully says. “You know, I never expected you to be a sweets type of guy.”
“Then what do you think I like to eat?”
“I don’t know, honestly.” Atsushi sheepishly says. He had thought of an answer for that: Blood and human flesh, but Atsushi wouldn’t dare to say that out loud, he still had desires to live. “Is that tasty?” He asks.
“Hmm? Yeah. It’s pretty good.” Akutagawa responds.
“Really? Let me try!” The silver-haired boy says with a grin, and, as if acting on impulse, grabbed the fork from the older boy’s hand and gets a small piece from the cake slice.
“This is really good— Wait, oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Atsushi says as he had just realized what he had done. He sees Akutagawa’s face turn red. Oh no. He must be angry.
“I’m really really sorry! It’s just that I acted on impulse because Kyouka and I share our food all the time with each other, I’m really sorry, I can buy a new one if you want—”
“It’s . . I-It’s okay,” Akutagawa says, face still slightly red, because he’s angry, and not because him and Atsushi just had an indirect kiss, definitely and absolutely not. “I. . don’t really mind.”
“Really? Are you sure? I’m so sorry.” Atsushi says woth an apologetic look.
“Yes, really. I swear.”
“Then you aren’t mad? I’m so glad!” Atsushi says as he sighs, like a heavy weight got removed from his shoulder.
“Mm,” Akutagawa says as he takes a piece from the cake again. “This is pretty good, but I like the blueberry cheesecake this one cafe near our headquarters serves more.”
Atsushi raises an eyebrow, and smiles— no, wait, that’s a smirk. “Then perhaps you should take me there so you can prove your point.”
Oh my God. He’s flirting. He’s asking me on a date, isn’t he? Stupid Jinko and his antics. Stupid. Stupid.
“A-Alright.” Akutagawa responds.
Atsushi smiles again, this time, wider. Seriously, does he never get tired of smiling? He’s like the physical embodiment of the sun. Warm and always bright.
And that must be one of the reasons why Akutagawa had fallen for him.
—
Akutagawa can’t help but inwardly panic as he waits for Atsushi to arrive at their talked-about meeting place. For so many months of the two of them working together as shin soukoku, this is going to be the first time they’re gonna meet outside of work.
Needless to say, the black-haired boy’s nervous right now. I mean, he’s going on a date with a really pretty boy, and his sister has put great pressure in him as well, so how could he not?
“So you’re telling me . . you’re going to a date for the first time in your whole life, and you’re gonna wear . . this?” Gin says, eyeing his brother from head to toe.
“Uh, yes?”
“You’re wearing your work clothes.” Gin says. “Ugh. You know what, I’ll help you.”
“You don’t have t—” Before Akutagawa had even finished talking, Gin had already ran to his bedroom.
“Ryuu! Come here!” She calls out. Akutagawa lets out a sigh.
In the end, about 20 minutes later, they settled for a black turtleneck, plaid black and white pants and low-cut Doc Martens. He felt a bit exposed and fragile without his coat, but he reminded himself of how Atsushi had told him how his coat nor his Rashoumon defines him as a person, when they were talking one time right after finishing a mission. He smiles at the thought.
Akutagawa shrugs off his thoughts about what happened just an hour ago when he sees Atsushi waving and walking towards him. “Akutagawa!”
Atsushi was wearing a beige cardigan slightly oversized for him, making him have sweater paws. He has a white shirt underneath, black denim pants and white checkerboard slip-ons. Akutagawa smiles lightly, enough for it to be noticeable. Why does Jinko have to be so beautiful?
Akutagawa sees Atsushi staring at him.
“Why are you staring? Is there something on my face?” The older boy says as he touches his face.
“Huh? O-Oh, no! It’s just that, uh, your outfit. It suits you. A lot.”
“Same goes for you, too, Jinko.”
Atsushi pouts a little. Cute. “There you go again, calling me Jinko. I have a name, you know?”
“I prefer Jinko more.”
“Why’s that?” The younger boy asks.
“Because I’m the only one who calls you that. Makes it a tad bit more special, don’t you think?” Akutagawa says, and before averting his gaze to something else, he could’ve sworn he saw Atsushi blush. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
“O-Okay! Yeah, s-sure! Let’s do that!” Atsushi says, making Akutagawa chuckle a little.
—
To say the least, it had been a really fun time for the both of them. They decided to walk around the park after visiting the café the older boy had talked about. Parks or public places weren’t usually Akutagawa’s thing, but since he was with Atsushi, he figured maybe he’d start appreciating places like these a little bit more.
Often times during the day they’d find themselves in silence. But as always, with Atsushi, the silence was comforting and relaxing rather than tense and awkward. It was a good feeling, a feeling that Akutagawa would want to experience for the rest of his life, and maybe Atsushi does too, for all he knows.
When they did talk though, it was mostly Atsushi talking and Akutagawa listening intently, maybe throwing a few reactions here and there. Not that Akutagawa was complaining, though. In fact, he liked it a lot. It’s certainly a weird and new feeling, yes, to be able to converse with someone like this, but he likes hearing Atsushi’s voice and everything the younger boy says interests him, so it doesn’t matter at all.
“The blueberry cheesecake near Port Mafia’s better, after all.”
“I’m glad you think so.” Akutagawa says. The younger boy lets out a small chuckle.
Silence falls upon them again. Only the sound of rustling wind could be heard. Atsushi breaks the ice.
“The sky’s very pretty.” Atsushi says, looking up. It was nearing sunset, and the younger boy couldn’t help but stare at the colors in astonishment.
“Your eyes remind me of the sunset,” Akutagawa says. Atsushi turns his head to look at him. “Or rather, the sunset reminds me of your eyes.”
Atsushi and Akutagawa turn a little pink just as equally, and, a few seconds later, the silver-haired boy speaks.
“There’s a movie I’ve been really meaning to see for a while now. It hits theaters in about a week.” He suddenly says.
Perhaps Akutagawa had taken on the hint. “. . . Would you like me to accompany you in watching it?”
Atsushi pauses for a while, then smiles wide, eyes disappearing. “I would love that.”
—
Before Akutagawa had known, their dates were getting more frequent. They have almost all the time in their hands, anyways, with Yokohama being the most peaceful it had probably ever been, given the fact that the Agency and Port Mafia had already formed an alliance, and so crimes in the city were just small ones. Terrorists here and there sometimes, but over all, it was good. He’s not complaining about spending more time with Atsushi, though. In fact, it seems as though they’ve been closer than they ever did before. They’ve exchanged numbers, and joking around feels so natural now between the two of them. There are times when Akutagawa would find himself talking about his day or his sister, and he’d wonder how Atsushi can listen to his boring stories with intent, like it’s his first time listening to a story his whole life.
Despite all that, Akutagawa can’t help but to be worried about a certain something. He’s been thinking how to confess to the younger boy for so long, but everytime he sees Atsushi it feels like the words automatically get swallowed up inside and he has no choice but to wait for another opportunity to come so he could gather courage again.
He remembers the conversation Chuuya and him had about the weretiger.
“Wait wait wait wait,” Chuuya says, holding a glass of alcohol in his hand. “So you’re telling me, you’ve been going on dates for so long now, yet you still haven’t tasted him?”
“Chuuya-san, that’s nasty,” Akutagawa says. “I haven’t confessed yet.”
Chuuya laughs in a weird, drunk way. “Dude, you’re a Port Mafia of high rank! Be confident!”
Akutagawa rolls his eyes. “You say that as if it didn’t take you a year and a half to admit you like Dazai.”
“How did you know that?!” Chuuya widens his eyes in shock, standing up. A few seconds he sits back down again and takes a sip of his drink.
“Atsushi is a pretty boy, y’know? If you let this drag on for too long, someone might steal him away from you.”
Akutagawa sighs. He nods. “Thank you, Chuuya-san.” He says before going out.
Since that day, the black-haired boy had been very anxious. What if someone steals Atsushi before him? What if someone else confesses first? It feels as though trying to confess even if there’s no guarantee that he’ll like Akutagawa back is better not trying at all.
He wants to confess so much, but here he is right now, on another date with Atsushi, almost chickening out.
“Akutagawa? Are you okay?” The older boy snaps out of his thoughts when Atsushi taps him in the shoulder.
“Hm? Oh, uh, yeah. I’m fine.” Akutagawa says as he drinks a bit of his ordered latte.
“You’ve been spacing out a whole lot lately.” Atsushi looks at him with a worried face. “I’m here whenever you need to talk to, you know.”
“Oh, it’s nothing, just . . ”
“Hmm?” Atsushi hums as he takes a bite of his crepe.
“I need to tell you something.” Akutagawa says, sternly. Atsushi gulps.
“Actually, I have to tell you something too.”
—
“Oh, uhm, do you wanna go first?”
“No, I mean, if that’s what you want, I guess?”
“Okay. Sure.” Akutagawa responds as he tries his best not to show any hint of nervousness in his face nor his voice. He didn’t even know why he suddenly said he had to say something. It’s as if he just had to, at that very moment, at that very time.
“Okay, uhm,” Atsushi’s face was becoming more red as time went by. He was now looking down, avoiding eye contact with the older boy.
“Akutagawa, I, uh, think you’re really cool, and even though I hated your guts the first time we’ve met, I’ve come to learn a lot of things about you now, and I enjoy the time we spend together, and I like seeing you, and hearing your voice, and like, you make me happy, and I kinda wanna be with you now, and so Akutagawa, I think I like you.”
Silence.
Atsushi looks up to see what the black-haired boy’s reaction was. It was unreadable, the kind of expression he had never seen from the boy before, and Atsushi wonders what it could mean. He panics. ‘What if he’s thinking of a good way to reject me?’
“Uhm, you don’t need to give an answer if you want to, I’m sorry I rambled quite a bit, you don’t probably see me like that I’m pretty sure, I’m really really sorry if this made you uncomfortable—”
“Jinko.”
“I hope we can still be friends though, I’ll try my best to hide my feelings so you don’t get uneasy when you’re around me, I’m s—”
“Jinko.” Akutagawa says in a louder voice, causing Atsushi to sit up and stop talking.
“Y-yeah?”
Akutagawa sighs. “Is that crepe good?” He asks all of a sudden, making Atsushi furrow his eyebrows.
“Wh-What do you mean? I mean, yeah, it’s good but— mhf!” Atsushi gets cut off by Akutagawa by pressing his lips against his. The silver-haired boy widens his eyes, and he feels his cheeks blushing and could honestly just explode any second, but he didn’t pull away.
After a while they both break out from the kiss, slightly panting. Atsushi sees Akutagawa smile.
“Wh-what was that for?!”
Akutagawa looks at him. “Idiot Jinko,” he says. “That’s my answer.”
“Wh. . What? So that means . . ?”
“Yes. I like you too. A whole lot.”
Atsushi tries to grasp the situation. Akutagawa? Liking him back? If this was a dream, he’d want to stay in it for a little longer.
“Your lips taste like crepes,” Akutagawa says. “I couldn’t help myself. I got a sweet tooth, you know?
—
“You really need to stop doing that, you know?.” Atsushi says one time, during his stay at Akutagawa’s place.
Akutagawa furrows his eyebrows. “Do what?”
“The whole, ‘is what you’re eating delicious?’ thing!” Atsushi says as he takes a bite off his fig ice cream, because it’s as though he could never just get enough of desserts. (Yes, he bites ice cream. You can criticize him all you want. I mean, I would.)
Fast forward and they’ve been together for about 2 months now. Often times they’d go on dates, and despite going in the same places over and over again, they know to themselves that it wasn’t about all the places they go to but the feeling of having the person you love by your side that make them feel comfortable and happy. Albeit they didn’t know when or how it exactly happened though; when just suddenly their dates turned into a quest of tasting and eating (possibly) all desserts the whole of Yokohama could serve. It’s like they’re food critics, except they don’t critic the food and just simply devour it until they’re stuffed.
Akutagawa leans closer to Atsushi and smiles. “Hey, is that fig ice cream good?”
Atsushi rolls his eyes. “Now you’re just mocking me at this point.”
“No I’m not.” Akutagawa says as he leans slowly to Atsushi until their lips are pressed together.
For some reason Atsushi couldn’t point out, the kiss felt different from all the others they both had shared. It was delicate, slow, beautiful, and sweet. It was addicting, and he finds himself closing his eyes and letting himself sink in the moment.
Soon he was sitting in the older boy’s lap with his legs wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist.
As soon as Akutagawa pulls away to catch his breath Atsushi had immediately pulled the black-haired boy into the kiss again, and he feels Akutagawa’s lips curl up a bit. Soon after they fought with tongue.
Atsushi finds it a bit ironic, when he was telling Akutagawa to not do that ‘thing’, but here he was, wanting for more, and hungry for more. He’s drowning, and he’s drowning deep.
Akutagawa starts kissing him on the neck, making the younger boy let out a sound when Akutagawa sucks on a certain sensitive spot. Atsushi’s hands travel to Akutagawa’s chest, clothed. Atsushi unbuttons his boyfriend’s polo. It was getting out of his way.
Akutagawa kisses him hard on his collarbone next, planting crimson-purple marks on the younger boy’s skin as a way of saying He’s mine, in every person that who would attempt to hit on Atsushi. His hands are on his boyfriend’s waist, and the silver-haired boy’s hand go to Akutagawa’s bare chest, and, though boney and ribs almost sticking out, Atsushi sees no problem with it. Akutagawa places his lips again on Atsushi’s, until he realizes the younger boy unbuckling his belt. He pulls away from the kiss and lets out a small smile.
“Getting greedy now, aren’t we?” Akutagawa says in a low, soft voice, making Atsushi shiver.
“Shut up,” Atsushi responds. “Can we just do it? I want more, Ryuu. Please?” He says, almost pleading, with soft puppy eyes.
“You’re really cute when you look like that, though I’m afraid no can do.” Akutagawa sternly says. This isn’t easy for him as well. Assured, he wants more, too, but he knows now wasn’t the right time. With the patience and self-control he has right now, he honestly thinks he deserves a Nobel Prize.
“Why?” Atsushi’s voice gets weaker, down and sad. “I thought you wanted to do it . . D-Do you not want me anymore? Are you t-tired of me already? Are y—”
Akutagawa tugs Atsushi’s long streak of hair behind his ears and pulls him into a hug. “Sshh, shh. It’s not that, sweetheart. It’s a Thursday, and you have to wake up really early tomorrow for work, so I figured this isn’t the right time. I’m sorry if I made you think that way.”
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore . . ”
“Don’t think like that anymore, okay?” Akutagawa reassures him, hand stroking the back of Atsushi’s head.
“I love you.” Atsushi softly says.
“I love you too.” Akutagawa responds.
“ . . . oh, and the fig ice cream was really good.” He lightly chuckles, and Atsushi punches him in the shoulder.
—
BONUS
“Since you’re not gonna stop doing this ‘thing’ any sooner, then I supposed I should make you taste tangerines next.” Atsushi says with a grin.
“That’s a big no. No matter how much you try, even if I taste them from your lips, I won’t ever like them.”
“Come on!” Atsushi responds. “You never know. A lot of things happen even if we don't expect them. When you were after my head just about a year and a half ago, you wouldn’t have expected I’d be making out with you, wouldn’t you?”
Akutagawa stops. “Actually, I did.”
Atsushi widens his eyes, then afterwards rolls his eyes. “Oh God, I hate you so much.”
“Liar. You love me.” Akutagawa says.
Atsushi kisses the older boy before responding. “Hell yeah I do.”
“You taste like cinnamon today. I like it.”
Atsushi raises his eyebrows. “You love doing that, don’t you?”
Akutagawa chuckles a little. “Sorry, I can’t help myself.”
“I got a sweet tooth, you know?”