Chapter Text
It was an early summer's day, Monday to be exact, as Monika walked into the empty classroom that had been repurposed to be the Literature Club of the school.
Her Literature Club. She was Club President, after all.
Well, that's not exactly true. She thought, as she adjusted the big white bow at the back of her head that helped separate her long ponytail from the rest of her light brown hair.
Although she thought she did her job as President as well as anyone could expect of her, she couldn't really claim full ownership of the club. Despite her lesser title as Vice President, Sayori had been there from the very creation of the club, the cheerful, blue-eyed girl who was always sporting a bright red bow on the top of her short, sandcoloured hair, doing a splendid job of keeping the group happy, and together. She had just as big a right to the club as Monika did, but since Monika had the ultimate title as President, the leadership role naturally fell on her, and it also included having to make the room presentable before the other members arrived.
A crease furrowed the girl's brow, as her thoughts settled on the other members.
Right. Today's the day.
Her big green eyes scanned the room, searching for left over papers or writing utensils left behind by the group using the room. Her gaze ended at the big round table in the middle, noticing what once had been a half-eaten tuna sandwich covered in mold, seemingly from last Friday, left to rot throughout the weekend.
Monika rolled her eyes, thinking some choice thoughts towards the owner of this unfinished food item. She pulled up her sleeves, and got to work.
Grabbing a pencil, she stabbed the disgusting sandwich and pinched her nose as she hoped its integrity was strong enough to stay attached to the writing tool for long enough to reach the garbage bin.
Please don't have maggots, please don't have maggots, please don't have maggots... She thought as she tiptoed towards the bin, afraid to breathe in and accidentally catch a whiff of the sandwich. It wouldn't do well to throw up in the classroom today.
Luckily, the sandwich didn't slide through the pencil as she briskly walked across the room, and with a triumphant move, she dumped both the sandwich and the pencil down the garbage bin. She felt a little bad about wasting a piece of school equipment like that, but the pencil's sacrifice had been for a good cause: not getting her friends grossed out on a Monday morning.
As she got out a spray bottle and a wash cloth from the room's cleaning cabinet, her thoughts lingered on her friends again. Aside from the before mentioned Sayori, she thought about the tall girl Yuri, with her long purple hair who seemed to really be settling into this club. While obviously smart as you could tell from her poems, she had struggled with her self image, not wanting to speak up, and mostly sitting for herself. It wasn't that she didn't desire the others' company, or disliked them in any regard, she was just... shy. But lately, her demeanor had changed, ever so slightly. She'd begun being more close with them, some days even reading books with them at the round table instead of sitting in her usual corner. She contributed to conversations, and on rare occasions she could laugh when they goofed around. She'd still get flustered, and would start to stutter if she felt too much attention was being put her way, but it spoke volumes how she could now have full arguments with Natsuki without turning into a sputtering mess, like before.
This led Monika to think about Natsuki. As different from Yuri as day was from night, Natsuki was the shortest girl at the club, with similar hair length to Sayori, only coloured bright pink, usually with various bright red ribbons tied into it with a a hairclip resembling an hourclass settled on her front bangs. Whereas Yuri was quiet, shy and timid, Natsuki was loud, bold and forthcoming to a fault. You could hardly go through a day without the short girl making some snide, sarcastic remark to at least one of them, yelling about them not taking her seriously (or, god forbid, calling her "cute") and of course her never-ending arguments with Yuri about whether or not manga was literature. Monika sighed as she sprayed off the table, and dried it again with her cloth. Natsuki could be difficult to deal with, but she did have her set of redeeming qualities. You could almost always tell that she didn't mean her seemingly spiteful comments about the other members, with her tendency to bring along delicious baked goods for them to share together attesting to that.
Having cleaned the table, Monika went to return her cleaning supplies to the cabinet she'd retrieved them from. Shutting the door, Monika closed her eyes, and lowered her head as her thoughts drifted to the fifth member of the club.
MC.
The only boy in the club, Sayori had brought him along at Monika's request to get the minimum amount of required members to make their club official. He'd apparently been a childhood friend of Sayori, but immediately after being introduced to their club, she along with the other girls had instantly taken a liking to him. He'd been shy at the beginning, not at Yuri's level, but as shy as you would expect from someone getting put on the spot in a room with four decently attractive young members of the opposite sex. Sayori, bless her heart, had probably just dragged her friend along to the club without telling him what to expect, who'd be there, or even that the club was about literature.
Nevertheless the boy had adapted quite well in here, and he got on remarkably with the other girls. Of course he'd be getting on well with Sayori, but even without their history together, Monika suspected that the Vice President could make friends with the postman. Natsuki had taken a liking to the boy as well; although she still ribbed on him and was as... Natsuki with him as she was to everyone else, it was easy to tell that she treasured his presence and appreciated that there was finally another member she could talk to about the "underappreciated quality of manga," as she put it.
Yuri was also happy about the young boy, putting value into his kind and polite way of speaking and Monika suspected that she also secretly loved to get his praises for her more advanced poems which often went a little over the head of the likes of Natsuki and Sayori.
Indeed, MC's introduction into the club, considering he was a boy after all, had gone better than any one of the girls would have dreamed to expect. Perhaps... even a bit too well.
She had suspected something between them for a while now. The way Yuri would blush a bit more for seemingly no other reason than her noticing the boy. The way Natsuki would giggle at jokes from him that she would scoff at if they came from any of the other girls. The way Sayori would engage him using way more physical contact whenever she spoke with him than any of the others. It could just be her being more comfortable with him due to the amount of years she'd already spent with him, but Monika had her doubts. Sayori was comfortable with everyone, but not to this degree.
She didn't even think they were aware of their changes in behaviour around him themselves.
Of course, she couldn't leave out herself, because she was just as guilty as the rest. She found the boy simply adorable. She would often find excuses to talk to him more than she would the others, and throw subtle hints and innuendos into her sentences so she could monitor just how flustered he'd get at the suggestions he got. Seeing him blush over being near her or at something she said, was her favorite thing in the world.
Maybe not the most professional of activities for the Club President to engage in, but she couldn't help it. After months of doing this, she'd finally realized it.
She loved MC.
And, from what she could tell, so did the rest of the club. Once they realized it, anyway.
Monika exhaled, opening her eyes, still leaned up against the cleaning cabinet.
This is going to be tough.
Today would be a special day for the Literature Club. Today would be the day where Monika would proclaim her undying love for the male member before the others could beat her to it.
She convinced herself it would be for the best. Of course she didn't like taking something they obviously all adored for herself, but it wasn't like they all couldn't still be friends afterwards, right? Her and MC pursuing a more serious relationship shouldn't impact anything. They'd still have the same working dynamic between each other, still share their common interests for literature.
Rationally, it shouldn't matter who dated who outside school hours, right?
Yeah, right.
She couldn't even convince herself. Would she be happy watching from the sidelines as Yuri, Sayori or Natsuki announced their love for MC? Would she accept their happiness, shrug, and go about her day as usual, as if nothing had changed?
She didn't even need to consider that. Of course she wouldn't and she suspected the others would share that sentiment.
Still, it needed to be done. It couldn't be held off another day, since that was another day where one of the others could snatch him out from under her, while he was still single. Ultimately, this was for the best. Yes, she felt a bit guilty about doing this to them, and she knew that even in the best case scenario, even if they somehow accepted it and remained friends, there was no way this wouldn't deal a serious blow to that friendship. Worst case scenario, the others would hate her forever, her beloved club would dissolve and she'd lose the three best and only girl friends she'd ever had. But in both cases, she would have MC.
Win-win.
She felt more than a little awful for even thinking that, but... she was in love. All's fair and stuff.
The classroom's door opening broke her out of her trance, and she looked up to see all three girls making their way inside. Gathering up her courage, Monika made her way towards them.
Immediately, she could tell something was different about them. Instead of making her way directly to her spot in the corner of the room, Yuri stopped short several meters, crossing her arms. While she had managed to get a bit more out of her shell lately, she usually still needed to sit alone at the start of these meetings to charge her batteries. She looked a bit stressed, eyes looking ahead, not at anything in particular.
Natsuki came in next, carrying a tray of colourful cupcakes with glistening pink frosting, covered in rainbow sprinkles. She too, looked a bit unusual, although Monika couldn't quite put her finger on why. Her pink hair with the red ribbons looked just like it always did, and her face was sporting a familiar sour expression. She knew Natsuki was quite capable of showing happiness, but her default expression was usually a frown, so nothing new there. If she had to pick out the reason why she looked different, she supposed it had something to do with her eyes. Normally, if she was in one of her moods, she would have a far away look, as if mentally picturing the object or person of her frustrations. If the object or person was in the room with her, it was much easier to tell, as she would stare it down until she thought she'd weakened its spirit enough to attack, usually in the form of yelling about whatever problem she had with it. They had all been the target of that at some point. But what she was doing now, was unlike anything else she had done before. Her eyes were shifting between targets, more specifically, Yuri, Sayori and Monika herself, eyes darting between them all, lightning fast. And strangest of all, it didn't seem like her usual "stare down until I'm ready to yell" gaze. Monika couldn't explain why, but the small girl looked like she was... unsure?
Sayori was the most visually different from the girls. Where she would normally bounce in through the door, cheerful eyes as bright blue as the ocean sparkling as she announced her own arrival followed by her making her way to everyone and asking how they were, or complimenting their look.
But today... her eyes were weirdly dull, looking down at her feet, as she slowly walked in, no smile on her face, replaced by a slight frown.
But weirdest of all, instead of the usual school uniform required for all students attending the school, a thick christmas sweater, maroon red with things like dancing snowmen and reindeer plastered around randomly, was now covering the top of her body, a tall turtleneck going all the way up to her chin. If it wasn't for her increasing worry for her friends, Monika would have maybe found the juxtaposing sight of the sad girl with the bright red bow on her head and the cheerful christmas sweater comical, but no one was laughing as Sayori made her way to the side of Yuri, slightly behind her, almost as if she was trying to hide away.
Well, this just got a whole lot harder.
Monika had hoped for Sayori to be her usual happy self, but seeing her like this, the topic she wanted to present to them all seemed almost too cruel.
Almost. It had to be done.
She tried to bring some cheer into the room herself by flashing one of her patented Club President smiles, but Natsuki just stared at her like she couldn't comprehend such a foreign strange concept of "fun." It didn't seem like Sayori or Yuri had even noticed.
Monika had seen Yuri this way before. When she had to present a poem to the room, or formulate a particularly complicated argument, she had a habit of going into a trance, picking the precise words to use, placing them together to craft expertly put together sentences. After she had put them together, she could usually speak them with perfect pronounciations and inflections, but if she didn't do this or was interrupted, she would struggle forming even simple sentences. Monika decided to not disturb her, and getting on Natsuki's bad side this early was not desirable either.
She approached Sayori, smiling brightly at her.
"Love your attire. What's the occasion?" The Club President said, in an attempt to ease the atmosphere and perhaps break the ice a bit.
Sayori just looked at her, unspeaking, with enormous eyes. She seemed... afraid? No, not afraid. Terrified.
Before Monika could say anything else, Natsuki loudly interrupted.
"She's just cold. Give her some space."
Monika looked dissatisfied toward Natsuki, the aggresive girl staring daggers. Monika took a few steps back from Sayori, and Natsuki, still carrying her colourful tray of pastries, moved briskly towards the girl in the overlarge festive sweater.
Monika was too far away to hear, but she did notice Natsuki standing on tiptoes to reach Sayori's ear as she seemed to whisper words to her.
What is going on?
She didn't buy for a second that Sayori was "cold." It was the middle of the summer, with several degrees outside, and she'd never seen Sayori wear this sweater, even during winter times. But seeing as the girls seemed set on not letting her in on whatever was happening, she decided against her better judgment and didn't push the subject.
Monika had originally planned to leave her declaration to the group for the end of the day, in order to get one potentially last normal club session with her friends, but seeing them like this, she knew that hope was shattered, and opted instead to just get it over with, rip the bandaid off, and jump in with both legs.
But right as she was about to call out to the group with her signature catchphrase, "Okay, everyone!" she was once again interrupted by Natsuki slamming the tray of cupcakes down on the round table, the sound of the impact echoing through the room.
"We need to talk." The short pinkette uttered. "All of us."
"Uh, okay." Monika said.
The loud noise seemed to have awakened Yuri from her trance and she looked up at Natsuki, who in turn nodded at the tall, purplehaired girl.
Monika took a seat by the round table, and Yuri took one by herself, on the opposite end. Sayori seemed to hestitate a bit, but hurried then over to Yuri's left side, where she too sat down on a chair. Natsuki on the other hand, leaned in over the table, grasping a number of the baked goods in her arms and started handing them out. One in front of Monika, Sayori and Yuri before she herself took a seat on the right side of the last mentioned. Monika had tried to thank Natsuki for baking them these treats, but the short girl had merely grunted in reply.
Silence lingered in the room after that. The bright cupcakes in front of them looked very surreal, given the atmosphere.
"So," Monika began, awkwardly. "What did you want to tell me?"
"We need to show you something." Yuri spoke up.
Monika turned her attention to the tall, purplehaired girl. "Alright."
She was intrigued by this. Usually Yuri tried to make herself smaller, less noticeable despite being the tallest of them all, and with the more attention grabbing... assests. She would always look down, as though she could convince herself that if she couldn't see anyone else, the same would be true for her. It was downright surreal to see her be this assertive, making eye contact with her and having that determined edge in her voice whereas Sayori seemed to have adopted her previous, introverted demeanor.
"And you need to hear us out." Natsuki said in her commanding voice, so often not taken seriously because of her height and cutesy appearance. But Monika could feel how important this was to them, and would do her best to treat her smaller friend with the respect that she commanded. "Listen to what we're saying. Don't just react to how it looks and chalk it up as if we're crazy, because we're not!"
"Natsuki." Yuri said calmly.
"I'm sorry, it's just..." Natsuki closed her eyes for a moment, then took a deep breath. she exhaled. "It's just... a lot of the times when I try to express my opinion, or speak my mind, you guys will just chalk it up as 'Natsuki is being Natsuki' or not take me seriously because I look-" Natsuki visibly shuddered, as if it was a challenge just to say the word aloud. "...cute. And yeah, maybe I can sometimes appear to be insensitive and rude to you which obviously isn't okay, but I'm trying to be a better person so you shouldn't just... not listen to me because of the times I've been irrational in the past!"
Natsuki blinked, and exhaled, before slumping back in her chair. Yuri put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Natsuki seemed to calm down a bit with Yuri's touch.
"I'm sorry if you don't think we take you seriously enough," Monika said. "If I'm being honest, I always got the impression that you liked the dynamic we had with our banter. At certain points it seemed like you enjoyed being a contrarian, and was in on the joke when we poked fun at you."
Natsuki crossed her arms and looked off to the side. "It's fine when you do it with fun, unserious topics, like when me and Yuri have our arguments about manga versus books and such. I don't take those 'fights' seriously, and neither should anyone else . But sometimes I just feel like everything I say gets disregarded as me just trying to be difficult. When I suggest improvements to the club, or disagree with one of your decisions, you usually just shut me down by giving me a jokey diss, or just chuckling at me. And, y'know, I roll with the punches. I don't want to be seen as the drama queen who can't take a joke, so I pretend like i really was just joking. But right here, right now, I really want to make sure that my words are being valued just as much as everyone else's, not disregarded as me just 'being Natsuki.'"
It was rare to see Natsuki be so genuine with her speeches. It seemed like she really was afraid that no one would take anything she said seriously. Monika tried to think back to all the arguments they'd had, and tried to recontextualize them. Perhaps she had been kind of dismissive to what she had thought at the time was Natsuki just disagreeing with them all to be funny.
"I... I understand." Monika said. "I apologize for the times I may have misjudged your intentions, and I assure you, I will do my very best as president of the literature club to hear out everything you have to say from now on with the seriousness it deserves."
Natsuki hugged herself a bit tighter as a bright blush spread across her cheeks.
"Thanks." she mumbled to her chair.
Monika sensed that Natsuki had talked herself out for the next while, and needed to recharge her batteries. Sayori hadn't moved or changed her expression at all throughout the whole conversation, so that left only Yuri to talk to.
"So what is it you want to show me?" Monika asked.
"First, we'll need to get this on the table first." Yuri said. "You're in love with MC."
A slap in the face would have probably been less shocking. Monika's eyes widened. What a moment for the President of the Literature Club to lose her way with words. She wasn't the only one reacting to Yuri's statement. Sayori seemed to shrink further into her seat, head lowered so only her hair with the red bow was visible. Natsuki closed her eyes, cringing, and muttered "Smooth, Yuri."
Monika tried to say something, she didn't know what, but just something, anything. Luckily she was spared the embarrasment when Yuri continued what now seemed like a verbal beat-em-up, with Monika on the receiving end.
"It was... pretty obvious. The way you keep touching his shoulders and arms when you talk to him, but not us. All those cheesy innuendos you drop that you think are too clever for us to notice. Your glowing smile when he asks you something." Yuri smiled despite herself. "You don't act like that with anyone else except him."
Monika had found her voice again. "What is this?" She asked, her voice more shaky than she had liked.
"Yuri likes to pretend she's Sherlock Holmes." Natsuki said. "Get to the point, detective."
The smile dropped from Yuri's face. "I wasn't! I mean, I was! I was getting there! Uh..."
Her confidence seemed to leave her body completely, as it so often did when arguing with Natsuki. It was like she planned every word to say carefully, and could formulate them all with flawless inflections and pronounciations, but as soon as someone challenged her with something she hadn't anticipated, all that preparation went out the window, and all that remained was an utterly lost Yuri, like a kid thrust into the deep end of the swimming pool without their floaties.
Natsuki didn't seem to realize what she'd just done. Whereas Yuri was a master of constructing sentences and arguments that presented different sides and perspectives of the issue, which could get anyone to understand her way of thinking, Natsuki excelled at ad hominem. Her own arguments were never really more than "you're wrong, I'm right, because I said so!" but she could shut down even the best of arguments by focusing on one part of it and attacking it to throw the debater off their game. If attacked herself, she always had a million sharp rebuttals ready at the tip of her tongue, and with her willingness to use them, she would usually win any arguments by keeping them up until her opponent simply couldn't deal with it anymore, conceded, and never engaged her again.
That was where Sayori usually came in, as the mediator. Friendly and nice towards any and everyone she met, she was a friend they could all count on to just be there for them when they needed her. It was part of why she had become the Vice President. Where Monika would struggle to shut down arguments between Yuri and Natsuki that got too heated, because of the natural finality and strictness that came with being in charge, and would just make the girls get angry at her instead, Sayori could talk to them in a way she couldn't. As a friend. As a friend who didn't want to see her friends fighting. A friend who would always come over and compliment your new haircut, or just simply said you looked really nice on a day where you seemed like you needed some positive reinforcement. A friend who would lend Natsuki money for the vending machine, and never nag her to return them the next week. A friend who might not understand the hidden themes and nuances of Yuri's darker poems, but could always find something in them to praise. She never really tried to voice her own arguments, instead finding ways to disperse the hostility between Yuri and Natsuki in a nice way that didn't let them think she was picking sides.
Monika looked over at Sayori who still had her face hidden away. It didn't look like she was going to be able to help them balance the hostility much today, and although Monika hadn't appreciated what Yuri had been saying, she decided to be a diplomatic leader and hear them out like she had promised.
"Okay." She said. "Natsuki, stop attacking Yuri and let her speak."
Natsuki opened her mouth, then closed it again and scrunched her face up, clearly dissatisfied.
"And Yuri," Monika continued. "Any chance we can skip over the parts where my feelings for MC were so obvious? Unless you just wanted to mock me?"
"No!" Yuri was red in the face. "I mean yes! I mean, It wasn't to mock, but I can skip over that for sure! Uh..."
"Alright." Monika said. "I'll give you a minute to gather your thoughts again. I would really like to hear what you want to tell me, and not have it interrupted by petty nitpicks."
Natsuki made a face, but remained silent.
They sat like that for half a minute, Sayori still not moving, Yuri having her eyes closed, picking her words again, and Natsuki scowling at the floor. Monika tried to put on her best neutral face, while a storm raged inside her. They clearly knew about her true feelings for MC. The question was, what were they going to do with that knowledge. She wanted nothing more than to put pressure on them, commanding answers from them until she was satisfied. But she knew and trusted her friends enough to know that in no way would their intentions be malicious. They wouldn't blackmail her. What would be the point? She had come here herself to make her feelings official to the rest of the group. They had just... caught her off guard. She was glad she hadn't followed her base instinct to push Yuri, since her thoughts were such a mess. She could very likely had said something she would later regret, and it wouldn't make any sense regardless.
Yuri exhaled deeply, and opened her eyes again, looking dignified and composed.
"You okay?" asked Monika. "Ready to go again?"
"Yes, I believe so. Thank you." Yuri said. She took another deep breath.
"The short and sweet of the matter is that I love MC as well."
Oh.
"We all love him. Me, Natsuki and Sayori."
...oh.
Monika ignored the fiery feeling rising up in her stomach, the feeling that made her see her friends in a new light, rivals that had to be eliminated so she could achieve her own personal goals. She would not fall victim to petty jealousy, throw her friendship away immediately or become a bloodthirsty yandere type. She could be composed. She made a motion to speak, but was interrupted by Yuri again.
"Please, let me finish. You need to understand why we're telling you this."
Understand? I understand perfectly. You want to steal him away from me. You want to watch me suffer as you look on, you sadistic b-
No. Calm down. Hear her out, like you promised. Yuri is not mean. She wouldn't say this unless there was a good reason.
Monika nodded once, gesturing for Yuri to continue. She seemed to hestitate a bit, fidgeting with her sleeve.
"I-" She begun. "I have to show you something. It's- it's very embarassing, but..."
Natsuki put a hand on her shoulder, not in a teasing way like she would normally, but in a very uncharacteristic reassuring way. Her eyes were mild, but determined, devoid of harshness as she looked at the taller girl.
"It's not embarrasing. It's necessary. You can do this."
Yuri nodded, took a deep breath, then exhaled. She made eye contact with Monika.
"Don't freak out, okay?" She said, and rolled up the sleeves of her school uniform in two swift movements.
A gasp escaped Monika's lips.