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Remus sat down on his full-size bed with a soft groan and flopped onto his back, rubbing his temples. He hated the day before the full moon the most. Sure, the day after was arguably worse. The injuries, the lack of sleep, the sore throat from howling the whole night, but there were potions for those feelings. There weren’t potions for the hypersensitivity of his senses. Every sound was amplified like someone had used a Sonorus charm, every light, no matter how dim, felt like it was burning into his retinas, and every scent, no matter how faint, smelled as if it was being wafted directly under his nose. The only thing he could do was hide out in his bedroom, with the shades drawn, listen to music to drown out all other sounds, and wait it out. He sat up, grabbed the book off his nightstand, then shifted to lie on his stomach, and reached for his headphones at the foot of his bed. He plugged them into the port and slipped them over his ears, letting the sound of Simon and Garfunkel wash over him as he cracked open his book.
The record had ended, and he was about to flip it over to the B-Side when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, his mother most likely coming up to check on him. Except, as he listened more closely, he heard two sets of steps, the second pair of which he recognized almost instantly. His mother and the guest reached the top of the stairs, and the smell of fresh-cut grass, broom wax, and clove cigarettes hit him, confirming his suspicions. Remus sat up, crossing his legs underneath him, just as the door opened and his mother poked her head in.
“Annwyl, look who just showed up on the doorstep,” his mother said with a smile before fully opening the door.
“Moons!” Sirius exclaimed, nearly bouncing with energy as he stepped into the room. He noticed Remus’ slight wince at the loud sound and instantly stilled, dropping his voice. “Sorry, Rem,” he said sheepishly, shifting the strap of his knapsack on his shoulder
Remus smiled at him to let him know it was alright and took in his appearance. Sirius was wearing casual Muggle clothes, something that was somewhat new for him. His parents had never allowed him to wear Muggle clothes unless it had been absolutely necessary. Even then, they forced him into tailored suits, never the plain white v-neck t-shirt and black jeans cuffed up at the ankles to show off his Gryffindor red Converse he was wearing now. It suited him.
Sirius dropped the knapsack to the floor by the door and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, one leg crossed underneath him, then smiled. Remus resisted the urge to launch himself at him. It hadn’t been all that long since he’d last seen Sirius, the school term had only ended three weeks ago, but Merlin had he missed him.
“So, I’m sorry, Sirius,” Remus’ mother began, “but our guest cottage has sort of been turned into my paint studio at the moment while I get ready for my showcase. I would have tried to get it ready for you if Remus had let me know that you were coming.”
Remus opened his mouth to apologize, but Sirius cut him off.
“It’s fine, Mrs. Lupin. It’s sort of my fault. The Potters are all out of town right now, so I thought I would pop by for a surprise visit. I should have owled ahead,” he apologized.
“Nonsense, dear! We’re happy to have you. That just means you’ll have to stay in here with Remus. Oh, and please, call me Hope,” she said sweetly.
Sirius smiled at her, then glanced at Remus. “Well, I share a room with him nine months out of the year already, so another few weeks won’t hurt.”
Hope laughed. “When Lyall gets home, I can see if he could transfigure something into a cot for you. I’m sure we can find space in here,” she mused, glancing around the room.
“That’s alright. I don’t mind sharing with Remus if he doesn’t mind. We bunk together at the Potters all the time,” Sirius said quickly, locking eyes with Remus.
Remus cleared his throat. “That’s fine with me.”
Hope smiled. “Alright, well, just let me know if you change your minds. I’m going to head out to get groceries for dinner. Does pot roast sound good?”
Sirius nodded. “Sounds lovely, Mrs—Hope.”
“Sounds good, Mam,” Remus said.
Hope nodded and turned to leave the room, pulling the door partially before heading down the stairs. Once she was out of earshot, Sirius turned to Remus and shoved him lightly.
“You didn’t tell your mum that I was coming?” he said with a laugh.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” Remus emphasized.
“I most definitely did. The night before we boarded the train to come back home.”
Remus blinked at him. “I didn’t think you were seri—” he stopped mid-word as Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him. “I didn’t think that was real. I thought you were just—and even so, you’re a few days early. I thought James and the Potters didn’t leave until the second.”
Sirius gave him a funny look. “I didn’t want you to be alone for the moon,” he said softly. “Should I not have come?”
Remus softened instantly. “Oh, no, Pads, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just surprised, and I’m a little tired today, but I’m happy to see you.”
“Oh, good.” Sirius’ shoulders relaxed, and he smiled. “Can I get a hug now, then?”
Remus laughed lightly and nodded, scooting forward to the edge of the bed. Sirius gathered him into a tight hug, and a wave of calm washed over Remus as he breathed in Sirius’ scent and listened to his steady heartbeat. Sirius nuzzled Remus’ curly hair and squeezed him even tighter for a moment before pulling back to rest their foreheads together.
Sirius brushed his nose against Remus’ and smiled. “So, I’m guessing that if you didn’t think the ‘me coming to visit’ thing was real, then you’re also doubting that the other part of that night was real, too,” he speculated.
Remus flushed, and he felt his heart start to race. He had tried to push that night out of his head because if it hadn’t been real, thinking about it would have hurt too much. But, with Sirius sitting right in front of him, forehead pressed against his and hands clasping his, Remus couldn’t stop the memory as it came flooding back with full force.
“Hey, Moons?” Sirius’ voice wafted through the curtains of Remus’ four-poster bed in a low whisper.
Remus stirred and turned onto his left side to face the direction of the noise.
Sirius poked his head through the gap in the curtain. “Moony?”
“What is it, Padfoot?” Remus asked, groggily propping himself up on an elbow. “Did you have another nightmare?”
“No, I just can’t sleep,” Sirius admitted, looking at his hands nervously.
Remus shifted over and lifted his comforter, gesturing for Sirius to climb in. Sirius smiled gratefully and climbed into bed, facing him. He pulled the curtains closed and cast a quick silencing charm over the bed as to not wake up James or Peter. Remus scrunched his face slightly in worry. Sirius only did that when he really needed to talk, which wasn’t often, so something must have really been bothering him.
Remus rested his right hand on top of Sirius’ in the space between them. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Sirius sighed and laced his fingers with Remus’, giving his hand a squeeze. “Am I that transparent?”
Remus softly smiled. “Just know you,” he whispered.
“I’m nervous about spending the whole summer at the Potters. Last summer was one thing since I was still underage and my parents—well, you know.”
Remus nodded. Even though he didn’t know the specifics, whatever happened the night that Sirius left his parents was most definitely the cause behind the nightmares that had Sirius climbing into Remus’ bed every few weeks.
“But, now I’m of age, and I have that inheritance from my Uncle Alphard…” Sirius trailed off and looked down at his and Remus’ clasped hands. “I just don’t want them to think that I’m taking advantage of their kindness. Especially since James is going to be visiting Lily for half the summer and Mr. And Mrs. Potter will be at that potions convention in France at the same time. It would just be me all by myself in that big house.”
“Just because you’re of age now doesn’t mean that the Potters don’t want you in their home. James is of age, too, and you don’t see them kicking him out. They’ve basically adopted you as a son. They love you, Sirius. James loves you. I’m sure they’d love to have you there for as long as you want to be there,” Remus said sincerely.
Sirius’ eyes softened as they return to Remus’. “How do you always know what to say?”
“Well, if you listen to Lily, I’m the most emotionally mature out of all of us, obviously.”
Sirius stifled a laugh. “James and I have gotten better,” he protested.
“You have,” Remus conceded.
Sirius sighed and pulled their clasped hands into his chest, tucking them under his chin. “I’m going to miss you this summer,” he mumbled, his lips brushing against Remus’ knuckles as he spoke.
Remus’ heart skipped a beat. “I’m going to miss you, too,” he admitted, his voice wavering slightly.
Sirius softly smiled, then they both fell into a comfortable silence. After a while, Remus felt his eyes drift closed. He was just starting to drift back to sleep when he was pulled back at the sound of Sirius softly whispering his name.
“Yeah, Pads?” he mumbled without opening his eyes.
“Maybe I could visit you while the Potters are all out of town,” Sirius whispered, his voice sounding sleepy as well.
Remus hummed sleepily in agreement. Then he felt Sirius’ forehead press against his and Sirius’ hand brush against his cheek softly. He opened his eyes to see Sirius gazing at him nervously. Remus’ breath hitched as Sirius leaned in and pressed their lips together ever so softly in a brief but perfect kiss, not that he had anything to compare it against.
“Goodnight, Re,” Sirius whispered before closing his eyes.
Remus’ eyes fluttered closed again, too, as he tried to memorize the feeling of Sirius’ lips on his, a feeling he’d been dreaming about for nearly two years.
When Remus opened his eyes this time, he was greeted by a similar sight. Sirius’ forehead pressed against his, his hands caressing the sides of his face.
Remus’ breath caught. “I hoped, but I wasn’t sure—you were gone when I woke up, just like you always were,” he croaked.
“I had to sneak back into my own bed before James or Pete woke up. I tried to wake you up before I left, but you were sound asleep.” Sirius brushed Remus’ cheek with his thumb. “I always tried to wake you up before I left, because those nights meant something to me. I just didn’t think either of us would want to be outed like that.”
“They meant something to me, too,” Remus whispered.
“Can I kiss you again?”
Remus nodded, and Sirius used a hand to cup his chin before closing the remaining distance between them. Remus gasped softly at the almost jolt of electricity that shot through him the moment their lips touched. Apparently, it wasn’t just his senses of smell, sight, and hearing that were heightened with the impending moon, but his touch and taste as well. His first kiss with Sirius had been so soft and gentle that he almost hadn’t realized it was happening. The second one, on the other hand, felt electric. After a moment, Sirius’ hands slid to cradle his neck to press their lips more firmly together. Remus grabbed Sirius’ shoulders to bring him closer and to steady himself as their lips moved together. He could taste the clove cigarettes Sirius snuck on occasion. The warmth from his lips radiated through him like a burning fire. It was intoxicating. It made him feel dizzy. It was almost too much. And then it was definitely too much.
Remus quickly pulled away, breathing heavily.
Sirius looked at him with concern then quickly pulled his hands away. “I’m sorry, was that ok?”
“Senses—overdrive—Too much—” Remus stammered as he tried to control his heart rate.
Sirius awkwardly fiddled with his hands in his lap. “Of course, I should have realized. I’m sorry.”
Remus shook his head once he gained control of himself again. “Don’t apologize. It was brilliant. I just wasn’t expecting it to be that intense.”
Sirius’s shoulders relaxed, and he smirked. “That good of a kisser, am I?”
Remus shoved his shoulder playfully. “Tosser.”
“Well, I have no qualms telling you that you are quite a good kisser.” Sirius pulled him close again and placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.
Remus blushed. He didn’t know what to say, so he simply leaned forward to kiss Sirius again quickly. “So, what do you want to do?” he asked once he pulled away.
“I know you’re probably knackered, so if you wanted to nap, I’m alright with that,” Sirius said.
“Are you sure? I’m not that tired,” Remus said, stifling a yawn. Sirius lifted an eyebrow. “Ok, that was bad timing.”
Sirius laughed and kicked his shoes off so he could scoot farther onto the bed. “It’s fine, Rem. I’m more than content to just sit here with you,” he said as he leaned against the pile of pillows. “But maybe we could listen to whatever you were listening to.”
“Simon and Garfunkel,” Remus supplied.
“Garfunkle? Is that some sort of weird magical creature that Hagrid would find adorable but definitely isn’t?”
Remus laughed. “It’s a Muggle band. Hold on, I’ll start it from the beginning.” He unplugged the headphones and set the needle at the beginning of the record before crawling to the head of the bed to settle against the pillows next to Sirius.
“It’s very… soothing,” Sirius said finally.
“That’s why I listen to it before a moon. It helps block out the world.”
Sirius hummed then scooted closer so that their shoulders were touching then laced their hands together. “Is this ok?” he asked.
Remus shifted so he could rest his head on Sirius’ shoulder, wordlessly answering him. Sirius looked down and smiled fondly, which Remus returned before letting his eyes drift closed.
“Are you sure you two will be alright on your own?” Hope asked for the fifth time on her way out the door.
“We’ll be fine, Mam,” Remus protested.
“Ok,” she said skeptically. “But you have the number of the hotel if you need it, and if it’s an emergency, you can send—”
“A Patronus to Dad, I know,” Remus interrupted.
“It’s just a few days, darling,” Lyall assured her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “They’re adults. I’m sure they can take care of themselves.” He shot Remus and Sirius a smile before grabbing the overnight bag and throwing it over his shoulder.
“They may be adults in the wizarding world, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry about my boys, Lyall,” Hope said matter-of-factly. “Alright, annwyl, come give me a hug.”
Remus smiled and leaned down to give her a hug. “Have fun at the wedding,” he said, kissing her cheek as he pulled away.
Sirius stood quietly in the doorway to the living room and waved.
Hope opened her arms and beaconed him forward. “You, too, fy machgen.”
Sirius made a surprised sound, then took a few steps forward and leaned down for a timid hug. Hope squeezed him tight for a moment, then let him go with a peck on the cheek. He returned to lean against the doorframe casually, but out of the corner of his eye, Remus caught him blushing and smiling to himself.
Lyall started to steer Hope toward the front door. “Alright, we need to be going, or else we’re going to be late. Don’t cause any trouble you two, you hear?” he sent them a playful smile.
“Yes, Dad.”
Remus and Sirius waved as Hope and Lyall walked out the front door into the mudroom where they apparated away.
Remus turned to Sirius, who immediately pulled him close for a hug. He let out a surprised laugh and buried his face in Sirius’ chest. “Everything alright?”
Sirius nodded. “Your mom is great,” he said softly.
Remus pulled back enough to look up at him. “She likes you a lot. I’m pretty sure she would adopt you if the Potters hadn’t already.” Sirius beamed, and Remus laughed. “You’re cute.”
Sirius dropped his head and brushed his nose against Remus’ before bringing their lips together for a soft kiss. Remus hummed contentedly, looped his arms around Sirius’ neck, and lifted up onto his toes to bring them closer together. Sirius sighed into the kiss, moving one hand to the small of Remus’ back while the other tangled in his tawny curls. After a few moments, they reluctantly pulled apart to catch their breath.
“Well, that was nice,” Sirius said as he leaned to rest their foreheads together.
“It was,” Remus said with a shy smile.
They’d shared dozens of quick kisses over the past few weeks of Sirius staying there, but they had all been just that. Quick, stolen moments. They hadn’t dared anything more than that with Remus’ parents around. But now that they were gone for the weekend, they didn’t have to worry about being caught.
“So, what do you want to do today?” Remus asked. “Are there any other things you wanted to cross off your ‘Muggle things’ list?”
“Are you making fun of my list?” Sirius asked, affronted.
Remus smirked. “Never.” Sirius pinched Remus’ waist, causing him to let out a little yelp. “I honestly don’t see the big deal, but I guess that’s because I grew up in both worlds.”
“Exactly. I didn’t grow up watching television or listening to magnificent bands like The Doors and Joy Division, and I didn’t get to take Muggle Studies like I wanted to, so this summer has been my chance to catch up on everything I feel like I was missing out on,” Sirius explained for probably the fifth time over the past three weeks.
Remus smiled and leaned up to place a soft peck on Sirius’ cheek. “I know. I’m just teasing you. I like your list.”
Sirius tightened his grip in Remus’ hair and pulled their lips together again for a quick kiss. “But, I think I can put aside my list for the weekend. Since we’ve got some time to ourselves, it would be a shame if we didn’t take advantage of it,” he murmured against Remus’ lips.
Remus pulled back and lifted his eyebrows innocently. “What on earth are you suggesting, Padfoot?” He mindlessly twirled a lock of Sirius’ hair around his finger.
“It’s a beautiful day out. We could go lie out in the garden,” Sirius suggested. He leaned in for a soft kiss. “Soak up some sun.” He kissed him again. “Maybe do more of this.” Another kiss.
Remus hummed softly and closed his eyes as Sirius pressed a soft kiss to one cheek, then the other. “I like the sound of that.”
With one more kiss, Sirius released him, and they made their way through the house to the back garden, stopping to grab a quilt from the couch to lie on. Remus spread the blanket out on the grass next to the small shed-turned-guest-house, which effectively blocked any neighbors’ view of the yard. They lay down, Sirius on his back, and Remus on his side, tucked into the crook of Sirius’ arm with his head resting on his chest.
Sirius let out a contented sigh and pressed a kiss to the top of Remus’ head. “I’m happy I came to visit,” he mused.
“Me, too,” Remus echoed.
They lay there for a good portion of the morning and early afternoon, basking in the warm sun and sharing un-hurried kisses until their lips were more than just a little swollen, but they didn’t care. They were happy. Blissfully so.
Then, as they were just starting to think that lunch might be a good idea, a loud roar ripped through the air.
Sirius jumped, nearly elbowing Remus in the face. “What in the bloody hell was that? Oh, sorry, love,” he added quickly, sending Remus a sheepish smile.
“That was just my neighbor’s motorcycle.”
Sirius’ eyes lit up. “Motorcycle?”
“Yeah, like a cross between a car and a—”
“I know what a motorcycle is. I saw one in a Muggle magazine Lily gave me. I’ve just never seen one in person before.” He looked down at Remus with wide eyes. He was nearly bursting with excitement, and Remus couldn’t help but find it endearing.
“Go run out to the front before he’s gone,” Remus told him.
With a wide grin, Sirius jumped up from the blanket and booked it toward the side gate that led to the front yard. Remus shook his head and smiled to himself as he stood up and walked to join him. They stood on the front lawn and watched as Remus’ neighbor pulled slowly out of their driveway and drove down the street, waving at the two boys as he passed.
“I want one,” Sirius decided firmly. “I’m adding it to my ‘Muggle things’ list.”
Remus laughed. “Maybe I should teach you how to ride a regular bicycle before you get a motorcycle.”
“Wait,” Sirius started, excitedly turning to him, “do you have a bicycle?”
“I do, in fact, have a bicycle,’ Remus said, amused.
“Can you teach me? It was on my list, but I didn’t think it would be an option this summer.”
“Well, I haven’t ridden it in years, so the chain might be all rusty, but we could try.”
Sirius grinned. “We’re wizards. I’m sure we can figure out how to fix a rusty bicycle. So, where is it?”
Remus chuckled and took his hand to lead him around the other side of the house to the garage. He reached for the handle at the bottom of the roll-up door and pulled up hard, getting it most of the way up before he was no longer able to reach. “A little help from the self-proclaimed tallest Marauder, please?” he asked over his shoulder.
Sirius laughed and stood behind him to shove the door the rest of the way up its track. “I am the tallest,” he pointed out.
“I’m aware of that,” Remus said, turning to face him. “I’m just not sure why the moniker matters.”
“It bothers Prongs, obviously,” Sirius said with a wink.
Remus rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and turned to head to the bike rack where his and his mother’s bikes sat. He lifted the bike down and propped it up on the kickstand to inspect it. “It actually looks like it’s in good shape still,” he said with mild surprise.
“When was the last time you rode it?” Sirius asked.
“Summer before third-year, I think?” Remus pulled the sleeves of his zip-up sweatshirt up to his elbows and crouched down to check the chain.
Sirius ran his hands over the handlebars and hovered over the bell for a moment before ringing it. “Bell still works—Remus, is that a Chocolate Frog card Spellotaped to the wheel?”
Remus glanced at the back wheel. “Oh, yeah. It makes a clicking sound as you ride, and I thought it was cool when I was a kid.”
Sirius grinned. “Well, isn’t that completely endearing. How did you figure that out?”
“Muggle kids use playing cards, but I didn’t have any of those, so I figured a Chocolate Frog card would do the same thing,” Remus said with a shrug.
“So, who’s card is it?”
Remus ducked his head to hide a smirk. “Dumbledore.”
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. “Brilliant. So, how do I do this?”
Remus straightened up and patted the seat. “So, first, we should adjust the seat because you’re about a foot taller than I was when I last rode this thing. Just hold onto the handles and swing your leg over like you would a broom.”
Sirius complied and waited for Remus to adjust the seat. “Having a nice time staring at my arse, Moony?”
Remus jabbed him in the ribs. “Just sit and tell me if that’s comfortable, you wanker.”
“Well, it’s a lot better than a broom,” Sirius said with a laugh.
Remus laughed, too. “Alright, so basically it’s not that much different than riding a broom. You have to maintain balance and pay attention to where you’re going rather than looking at the ground.”
“Makes sense. Now what?”
“Uhhhh,” Remus stammered as he tried to remember everything his mother had told him when she was teaching him how to ride a bike.
“Good. You’re giving me a lot of confidence in your teaching ability,” Sirius said dryly.
“Oi, shut it. It’s been a while,” Remus fired back. “Hmmm, right! Braking. So, these levers on the handles control the brakes. The right one is for the front wheel, and the left is the back wheel. In most situations, it’ll be best to use the front brake.”
“When would I use the back brake?”
“Usually only if you’re not on solid pavement or the pavement is wet. Go ahead and push forward, then use the brake so you can feel how it works.”
Sirius pushed forward off the ground, much like he would with a broom, and sped out of the garage. “Bugger—”
Remus heard the sound of the brake and jogged out of the garage to steady Sirius before he was able to completely fall over. “You alright?”
Sirius nodded furiously. “Yup, totally fine,” he said a little too quickly. “Just treated it like a broom. It’s not a broom.”
Remus bit back a laugh. “No, it’s not.”
“But, now I know the brakes work.” Sirius’ face split into a nervous smile, which let Remus know he could laugh.
“That you do. So, let’s try that again, more gently this time. Just try walking. Kind of like you’re trying to glide the bike forward. Does that make sense?”
Sirius nodded. “Yeah,” he said with a hint of uncertainty.
“I’ll walk alongside you, don’t worry.” Remus rested a hand on Sirius’ lower back, which seemed to calm him instantly because his casual smile returned, and he nodded more confidently.
Sirius glanced around to see if there were any neighbors out before leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek.
Remus smiled. “Whenever you’re ready.”
They walked up and down the street for a while as Sirius got accustomed to how the bike moved. He was picking it up rather quickly, although it shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise to Remus. Sirius was quite good on a broom, so it only made sense for the skill to transfer.
“Do you think you’re ready to try pedaling now?” Remus asked after the third pass in front of his house.
“Yeah, I think so,” Sirius said.
“Ok, so first get the right pedal up so—yeah like that,” Remus said as Sirius moved the pedal into a good starting position. “Then, put your foot on it and keep your left foot on the ground. When you’re ready, push off with your left foot to get moving and push down with your right foot to start pedaling. You’ll need to bring your left foot onto the other pedal to keep going forward.”
“Ok,” Sirius hesitated.
“I’ll hold onto the seat to help you get your balance as you start,” Remus assured him.
The tension in his shoulders faded slightly. “Ok, thank you. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I fly a broom hundreds of feet in the air.”
“Yeah, but do you remember the first time you flew?” Remus asked gently.
“Oh, Godric, I was terrified. But I was also six-years-old.”
“Learning new things can be scary, no matter how old you are. Don’t worry, though. You’re doing great.” Remus smiled and adjusted his grip on the bike seat. “Ready?”
Sirius nodded and pushed the bike forward. Remus walked alongside him as he started to slowly pedal. It was a little wobbly at first, and they had to stop a few times, but eventually, Sirius began to find his footing.
“I’m going to let go so you can try to balance by yourself,” Remus told him. He thought it best to warn him rather than do what his mother had done, which was just let go without warning even though she had promised that she wouldn’t let go until he said he was ready. He’d managed to balance on his own and, in retrospect, he probably had been ready and just had been too scared to say so, but it was still terrifying at the time.
“Ok,” Sirius said.
Remus let go but continued to walk alongside him just in case, as Sirius started to pedal on his own. It took another few stops and starts, but after the sixth pass by the house, Sirius was pedaling and braking with ease and confidence. Remus smiled and sat on the curb, merely watching, when Sirius pulled up and came to a stop in front of him.
“Well, how do I look?” Sirius asked, looking down at Remus playfully.
“Looking good. How do you feel?” Remus asked.
“Brilliant! You’re right. It’s like a broom, but with wheels.”
Remus smiled.
“So, I was thinking,” Sirius began, “Riding up and down the street is nice and all, but it would probably be more fun to go somewhere. You know, for more practice.”
“Something tells me you already have an idea in mind,” Remus ventured.
“I do. But we’ll need to change first,” Sirius said cryptically.
Remus looked at him blankly. He knew that face. It was the same face Sirius had whenever he was planning a prank. Remus groaned. “Oh, no, what are you thinking?”
Sirius shot him a mischievous smile and pushed off the ground again, pedaling toward the garage without another word.
“Padfoot!” Remus shouted after him as he clamored to his feet and jogged after him. He caught up to Sirius as he was dismounting the bike and propping it up on the kickstand. “Why do I feel like you’re planning something?”
Sirius smirked and casually strode over to him, closing the distance between them. “Why are you so skeptical, Remus?”
Remus lifted an eyebrow. “Because I’ve known you for six years now and have been cleaning up after you for just as long.”
“You have no faith in me,” Sirius scolded him playfully. “I merely fancy a trip to the beach, and we can’t swim in jeans.”
“You have a swimsuit?” Remus looked at him in mild surprise.
“Well, I have some shorts, and that’s basically the same thing, right? Now come on.” Sirius took his hand to drag him back around the front and up to Remus’ bedroom.
Remus sad on the edge of the bed while Sirius kicked off his shoes and started stripping out of his jeans.
“What? Are you not going to get changed?” Sirius asked as he rifled through his bag, standing there just in his white v-neck and pants.
Remus kept his gaze off in the distance as to not stare. “I—”
“Do you not have a swimsuit? Honestly, Remus, you live on the coast, how do you not have a swimsuit? Or at least a pair of shorts,” Sirius teased. He then let out a huff and bent down to grab his wand out of the jeans discarded on the floor. “Bugger this, Accio shorts.” The shorts flew out of the bag, which must have had an undetectable extension charm if finding a pair of shorts in it was really that difficult.
“I do have a swimsuit, it’s just—” Remus let out a sigh and stared at his hands.
Sirius quickly pulled on his shorts then crouched in front of Remus, slotting himself between his legs. “If you think I give a flying hippogriff about your scars—”
Remus met Sirius’ eyes, warm despite their cool grey color. “No, I know you don’t, but… sometimes I get comments from Muggles. Not to my face, but I still hear them.”
Sirius reached a hand up to caress Remus’ cheek. “Forget the Muggles. I’ll just hex anyone who says anything,” he swore.
“You can’t hex Muggles, Pads,” Remus objected.
“Then I’ll just punch them,” he said with a shrug.
Remus smiled slightly, which must have been Sirius’ goal because he smiled, too.
“Now, put that swimsuit on.” Sirius stood up and adjusted the hem of his shorts, drawing Remus’ attention to then.
Remus’ mouth dropped open slightly. “Those are the shorts you’re wearing?” he sputtered.
“What?” Sirius asked innocently. “They’re supposed to be the height of Muggle fashion.”
Remus shook his head and tried not to stare, which proved difficult because the obscene pair of shorts showed off quite a bit of Sirius’ thighs, a part of his body that Remus’d spent the better part of two years trying not to stare at.
“You know, you don’t have to pretend to not be checking me out anymore, right?” Sirius reminded him.
Remus looked at him with surprise. “You knew?”
“Well, I was spending just as much time pretending, too,” he said simply. “Now change. I want to get to the beach before the sun sets.”
Remus sighed, but a smile played at the corner of his lips as he got up and dug through the bottom of his dresser for his swimsuit. He changed quickly into the shorts.
“This, too?” Sirius said, fiddling with the collar of Remus’ zip-up sweatshirt. “It’s too warm for sweatshirts.”
“Maybe once we actually get to the beach,” Remus mumbled noncommittally. He tugged awkwardly on the hem of his shorts. Although they were significantly more modest than the ones Sirius was wearing, he still felt slightly uncomfortable. He felt too exposed. He wasn’t comfortable with his own body like Sirius was. He was lanky, and his pale skin was littered with scars from transformations where the wolf didn’t have anything better to do but scratch and bite at his own flesh.
“Of course, love,” Sirius said softly. He smiled and ran his hands down Remus’ body from his shoulders to his waist. “You know, you do have quite nice legs.”
“Did you fall off the bike and hit your head while I wasn’t looking?”
Sirius laughed and kissed him quickly. “Nope, I just happen to think you're a rather fit bloke, thank you very much. Now, come on!” He grabbed Remus’ hand and pulled him down the stairs toward the front door.
“Hang on,” Remus said, stopping in the entryway.
“Moons,” Sirius protested.
“We need towels.”
“Fine, hurry up,” Sirius said impatiently.
Remus laughed and walked down the hallway to the linen closet to grab some spare towels then met Sirius back in the entryway. Sirius retook his hand and started pulling him outside to the garage.
“You’re so impatient,” Remus said with a laugh.
“Mmhmm!” Sirius grinned and mounted his bike as Remus pulled the second bike down from the rack.
His mothers’ bike was significantly smaller than Remus’, and he needed to pedal backward to brake instead of using the handle brakes like his own, but it did have a basket on the front, which was helpful for carrying the towels. Remus threw the towels into the basket and adjusted the seat before mounting it.
“Ready?” Remus asked.
Sirius nodded excitedly and pushed off, starting to speed down the driveway to the street. Remus smiled fondly and started after him, slowly at first, as he adjusted to riding a bike that wasn’t his.
“Catch up, Moony,” Sirius called behind him.
Remus rolled his eyes and stood on the pedals to propel him forward faster. He quickly caught up to Sirius and shot him a grin and waved as he passed him. “Catch up, Padfoot,” he called over his shoulder after he’d gotten a reasonable distance ahead of him. He heard Sirius scoff behind him and slowed to let him catch up.
“Show off,” Sirius grumbled as he caught up.
Remus smirked.
They rode in silence through small side streets as they made the one and a half kilometer ride from St. Davids to Caerfai Beach. Once they got close to the shore, they dismounted their bikes and walked them over to a rock to lean them against it. Remus grabbed the towels out of the basket and handed one to Sirius.
“It’s deserted,” Sirius said, taking a look around the beach.
“Yeah, most people go up to Whitesands, but I like this beach better,” Remus explained. He leaned against the rocks to slip off his trainers and socks, depositing them in the bike basket.
“Any particular reason?” Sirius asked, following suit and dropping his converse into the basket, too.
“It’s closer to the village, and also there are fewer people to deal with. I come here to be alone.”
“Alone, huh?” Sirius teased, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Remus let out a surprised laugh. “That is not how I meant that.”
“Sure it isn’t,” Sirius said with a wink before starting to head down the rocky hill toward the sand and water.
“You know there’s a set of stairs right there.” Remus pointed to the set of wooden stairs leading to the beach.
“This is more fun, though,” Sirius retorted. “Here, climb with me,” he said, extending his hand out for Remus to hold. Remus rolled his eyes but took it anyway. They carefully clamored over the rocks and landed in the sand.
“Do you see anyone around?” Sirius asked as he looked around the beach carefully.
Remus looked around, too. “No, why?”
Sirius grinned then shifted into his great, big black dog animagus form, dropping his towel into the sand. He let out an excited bark, then turned and bolted for the water.
“Siri—Padfoot!” Remus shouted after him. He let out an exasperated sigh and swiped the towel off the ground before sprinting after him. He dropped the towels in the sand a few feet before the water then gently waded into the cold water up to his mid-calf.
Padfoot was running around and splashing in the tide. He stopped and ran back up to Remus, his tail wagging happily.
“That was risky, Pads,” Remus scolded him. “What if a Muggle had seen you?”
Padfoot whined and nuzzled at Remus’ hand.
Remus sighed, then smiled and gave him a quick scratch behind the ears. “You know you’re much cuter as a dog,” he teased.
Padfoot let out an offended bark, noticed a small bird off in the distance, and went to chase after it. Remus laughed and slowly waded farther into the water, stopping every few steps to let himself adjust to the cold temperature. He fondly watched Padfoot in the distance, chasing the bird around the beach until it finally decided to fly off completely.
“Having fun?” Remus asked the dog as it came bounding back toward him.
Padfoot barked then bit at the hem of Remus’ jacket, tugging on it.
“What?”
Padfoot barked again then started tugging at his sleeve.
“Oh, fine,” Remus grumbled. He waded back out of the water and slipped out of his jacket, letting it fall into the sand. “Happy?”
The dog barked and ran circles around Remus’ legs, his tail wagging wildly.
“You’re ridiculous,” Remus grumbled. He started walking back into the water, then stopped when he saw a piece of driftwood buried slightly in the sand right where the waves met the sand. He smirked to himself and picked it up. “Hey, Pads,” he called at the dog. He waved the stick then chucked it down the shoreline.
Padfoot bolted after it and jumped to catch it before it landed in the sand, then came running back toward Remus. He dropped the stick at Remus’ feet then launched himself at him, knocking Remus back into the water. Remus sputtered and coughed up saltwater as he tried to sit up, but couldn’t because of the large, black dog pinning him down. The dog leaned down and licked Remus’ face then quickly shifted back into human form.
“Sirius, what the hell?”
Sirius grinned and braced his hands on either side of Remus’ head. “You looked like you could use some cooling off?”
Remus propped himself up on his elbows and softened. “You’re ridiculous,” he said fondly, then leaned up to kiss him. “But now I’m cold and wet, so can we lie on the sand and dry off?”
“Sure, love,” Sirius said softly. He hopped to his feet and extended a hand to Remus to help him up, then they walked to where they’d dropped their towels. Sirius took out his wand, and with a quick flick, the towels unfurled and spread themselves onto the sand. He waved his wand over the two of them, casting a quick Drying Charm, then tucked his wand back into his waistband.
“We could have just air-dried, you know,” Remus pointed out lightly.
“What’s the point of being of-age if we don’t use magic?” Sirius retorted. He ran a hand through his hair and winced. “Ugh, it’s all knotted now,” he said with a sigh. “Moons, could you—?”
Remus laughed and gestured to the towels. “Lie down, and I’ll see what I can do,” he instructed.
Sirius smiled and lay on his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows and resting his chin in his hands. Remus sat down, crawled over him, his knees straddling either side of his hips, and began carefully finger-combing through Sirius’ tangled curls.
Sirius let out a contented sigh. “You know, you’re the only one I would ever let do this,” he hummed.
Remus paused. Sirius had spent so much time with his head in Remus’ lap that absentmindedly running his hands through Sirius’ hair became an unconscious thing. But, when he thought about it, he realized that Sirius had always been quite defensive about his hair, never letting anyone else touch it. Except for Remus, apparently. He couldn’t even remember when that had started if he was honest. “Why me?” he asked.
“When you do it, it calms me. With anyone else, I have flashbacks to my mother using my hair to yank me around, but not with you. You make me feel safe.”
Remus smiled to himself and worked through the last tangle, then started to twist the strands into a french braid like Lily had taught him how to do one day when they were killing time during their Prefect rounds. He didn’t have a hair bobble to secure the end, but he knew Sirius would get a kick out of it anyway. He leaned down to kiss the top of Sirius’ head. “There you go.”
Sirius rolled onto his side one Remus had climbed off of him and brought a hand up to feel his hair. “Aww, you did it how Lily wears her hair sometimes.” He smiled and shifted to lay his head in Remus’ lap.
“It’s not going to stay,” Remus offered.
“That’s ok.” Sirius softly smiled up at him, and Remus went to brush back a strand that had already fallen out of the braid. Sirius caught his hand and pressed a kiss to his palm then turned on his side so he could watch the water lap gently up onto the sand. Remus’ hand automatically went to his hair and gently started carding through the strands escaping from the braid.
Sirius hummed softly. “You know, we were sitting almost exactly like this the first time I realized that I was gone for you,” he murmured. “That night that I showed up at the Potters after my mother basically kicked me out. That’s when I knew.”
Remus felt his mouth go dry. Sirius had never wanted to talk about that day since it happened, and Remus knew why. He knew by the look on Sirius’ face when Remus had shown up at the Potters’ via Floo powder in the middle of the night. The look of pure anguish. The same look that was on his face every time he crawled into Remus’ bed in the middle of the night after a nightmare, no doubt a flashback to whatever happened before Sirius had shown up in the Potters’ living room, battered, hexed, and bruised as he had been. And Remus never pushed him to talk about it, one, because he didn’t think it would help, and two, because that had also been one of the scariest days of Remus’ life and he wasn’t exactly keen on reliving it either.
But here Sirius was, bringing it up in the context of their blossoming relationship, and Remus couldn’t help but wonder what about that day was so special in the context of things. So he asked, “why that day?”
“You showed up at the Potters in the middle of the night in your pajamas, just to be there for me,” Sirius said.
“Well, of course, I did,” Remus said firmly. “I had to make sure you were alright.”
“Except, you didn’t have to. I surely didn’t expect you to. After what I pulled at the end of fifth-year, I’d completely resigned myself to the idea that you’d never want anything to do with me ever again, and I totally deserved it. You had every right to hate me.”
Remus’ fingers tightened slightly in Sirius’ hair. That was another day they never talked about, and Remus was about to try to steer the conversation away when Sirius continued.
“But then you dropped everything, the day after a full moon when you should have been resting and recovering, and you snuck out of your house to run to my side despite everything. You held me the entire night and made me feel safe enough to close my eyes. Then, when I woke up in your arms the next morning, you just had this look on your face, and I knew. I knew that the little crush I’d been nursing for the better part of a year was much more than that, and I’d gone and fallen in love with my best friend.”
Remus stayed silent for a long time, utterly at a loss for words. Sirius couldn’t be, well, serious, could he? Sure, they’d been dancing around their feelings for the past year, and Godric knew that Remus had been pining for him for a whole lot longer than that, but love?
Sirius sat up and turned to look at him, obviously noticing Remus’ lack of response. He tilted his head and looked at him. “You look confused,” Sirius ventured.
“You said ‘love,’” Remus faltered.
Sirius looked at him blankly for a moment, then softly as a smile crept onto his face. “Yeah, I did. I thought it was pretty obvious that I’m in love with you.”
Remus’ breath left him in a sharp rush. “I’m—I love you, too,” he croaked. “I have for a long time.”
The smile on Sirius’ face widened as he basically launched himself at Remus and pinned him back against the sandy towel. Remus laughed in surprise as Sirius buried his face in Remus’ neck, smiling against his skin and pressing a few kisses there before bringing his lips up to meet Remus’. Remus locked his arms around Sirius’ waist and sighed happily.
Sirius pulled away and brushed his nose against Remus’. “Does this mean you’ll be my boyfriend?”
Remus smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that. Even if it’s only the two of us that knows, that’s all I need.”
Sirius smiled and kissed him again. “About that,” he began nervously.
Remus pulled back to look at him. “What is it, Pads?”
“I don’t want to keep this a secret anymore,” Sirius admitted.
“I don’t know that I’m ready to fully come out, Sirius. My life is going to be hard enough as a werewolf, more so as one who likes blokes—”
“No, I don’t mean that. I mean, yes, a tiny part of me would love to be able to snog you senseless in the middle of the Great Hall at breakfast,” he said cheekily, earning a light jab in the side from Remus. “I just meant… I don’t want to hide this from our friends. James especially, but Pete and Lily, too. But if you aren’t ready, I will keep this between us without hesitation. I’ll probably at least tell James that I’m gay, because I don’t think I can keep it from him anymore, but I can keep us out of it—”
Remus cut him off by bringing a hand up to caress Sirius’ cheek. “No, you’re right. I don’t want to hide from the people closest to me anymore. It’s been exhausting sneaking around behind my parents’ backs for the past three weeks, I can’t imagine trying to do that for a whole school year.”
“Does that mean you want to tell your parents about us, too?” Sirius asked tentatively.
Remus hesitated, then closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded.
Sirius leaned his forehead against Remus’. “You don’t have to if you aren’t ready. I understand,” he murmured gently. “We can wait and see how James, Pete, and Lily react first.”
Remus shook his head and opened his eyes. “No, I want my parents to be the first people to know that I’m—that I’m gay.” He took a deep breath. He’d never actually said the words out loud before, but it felt good. He allowed himself a small smile. “Besides you, obviously,” he added.
Sirius chuckled and kissed him lightly. “Wait, Moony, you’re gay, too? What a coincidence,” he teased.
Remus prodded him in the side again, making Sirius bark out a laugh and squirm on top of him. He retaliated, lightly tickling Remus’ ribs until they were both wheezing from laughter. They settled on their sides, facing each other with arms draped over each other’s waist.
“Will you sit with me while I tell them?” Remus asked, his voice small and uncertain.
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Sirius said solemnly.
Remus let out a relieved sigh. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Moons,” Sirius whispered back, pulling Remus tightly against him.
“We should probably get back. It’s getting dark, and we haven’t eaten anything since breakfast,” Remus murmured against Sirius’ chest.
“See, I was thinking that we stay here, and I can snog you senseless,” Sirius suggested.
“Or, we go back and eat dinner, then you can snog me senseless at home,” Remus countered.
Sirius hummed and brought a hand to Remus’ chin to tilt it up for a soft kiss. “I like that compromise.”
Remus smiled and gave Sirius one last peck on the cheek before extracting himself from his arms and standing up.
Sirius followed suit, gathering up the towels and shaking out the sand before he straightened up completely. He draped Remus’ jacket over his shoulders before taking his hand for the walk back toward the rock where their bikes still sat. They shoved their feet back into their shoes, ignoring the sandy feeling they still had between their toes. They could remedy that when they were safely at home and weren’t at risk for a Muggle witnessing them using magic.
They then mounted their bikes and rode off back toward town, sharing fond glances between them as the summer sun disappeared beneath Wales’ coast behind them.