Chapter Text
“There may come a point in one’s relationship when you hit a bump on the road. To maintain strong chemistry with one another here are six tips on How to Have a Strong Relationship.”
And with these words, Dani’s heart plummeted as far down as it could go. He was mindlessly scrolling on YouTube watching old Beyonce’s songs, then pressing on the Fortnite videos, and then going back to Single Ladies again. The fact that a relationship-advice video icon even popped up in the left-hand menu of the “Fortnite WTF moments #238” seemed bizarre. And a huge consequence. Dani wasn’t a huge believer in the higher deities or some kind of a man sitting on a cloud, but maybe if this man actually existed, he finally decided to apologize for taking his father away.
Several years passed since the Bank of Spain heist. Denver and Palermo moved in together, instantly pairing with each other after escaping from the bank. Their relationship was rocky, to say the least — with Denver sometimes being too dumb and Palermo sometimes being too much of a smartass — but they made it work. And even celebrated their three years anniversary about a month ago.
They now lived on one of the islands somewhere in Asia. It was hot, wet and sunny most of the time. Today, however, was the first day of the rainy week. The cloud picture in Denver’s cell phone’s weather forecast app was crying today, tomorrow — all throughout the week. And Dani was spending most of his time lying on the couch in the living room, listening to the sound of rain outside and the sound of the ceiling fan swishing through the air and watching YouTube.
So, back to the cloud man and the biggest consequence in the whole world. Dani and Martin had a fight. A big one. Which started relatively small with Dani forgetting his portion of the fresh salmon from the farmers market on the table (thus making it go bad and wasting a perfect dish) and escalated to Dani saying that he wished they never met.
Which wasn’t true, okay?
Dani loved Martin, he really did.
And now, seeing this unsettling video title made him realize that Martin may actually leave him. Shit, he most definitely can. Palermo doesn’t need anybody’s permission to do as he thinks best and he can easily leave Dani for his words. And Denver never wanted this to happen. So, he made a plan, just like in the movies.
“Operation Mission Possible. Strengthening the relationship. A 6-day scheme”
But first, he needed to apologize.
***
And so, it begins.
Day One. Advice number one. Physical Contact.
“Intimacy plays an important role in the relationship. Putting your guard down and becoming more vulnerable with each other by either holding hands, hugging or cuddling shows the other person that you have great interest with them”.
Gotcha! “That’s like super easy” — thought Denver and decided to strike in the morning when Martin was still sleeping, his back pressed tightly to Dani’s chest.
Daniel circled his hands around the sleeping man, hugging him as tightly as he could. And got punched in the gut with a very sharp elbow of a very angry Palermo.
"What. Are. You. Doing?" Martin asked, still looking sleepy but with determination in his eyes.
"Eh? Cuddling you. Did you know that baby sloths spend their first 3 to 6 months cuddling with their mothers? And they squeak if they are separated?"
Well, Dani was an idiot. He almost got caught. Luckily, he spent most of his night holding Martin close and reading animal facts from Facebook on his phone. This absolute stupidity of what Denver just said made Martin stop in his tracks, visibly deflate and confusedly blink.
"Dani, it’s 10 am and way too early for your shit. Bye, I am going to sleep again, don’t you dare try to choke me with your bear trap of a hug".
A good strategist knows when to retreat, so Dani “left the field” trying not to lose his pride and willing his erection to calm down a little bit. YouTube video — 1, Dani — 0.
***
The second time he decided to strike that day was in the afternoon after they had lunch. Not to say that Dani didn’t try being physically closer to Martin all day because he was! He hugged Martin from behind while the Argentinian was making blueberry muffins and got his leg stomped on by an irritated Palermo, he purposely sat closer to Martin at breakfast — their thighs touching under the table — he also held his hand when they were eating some kind of a spicy Thai soup for and Martin lost his temper and spent the rest of the lunch throwing napkins across the table, while Dani never let go of his hand, caressing the calloused palm with his thumb.
And now was as good time as any to strike. And so he did. He sneaked up on an unsuspecting Martin while he was graphing something in his office, and caught him off guard by throwing him over his shoulder.
"Dani what the fuck?!" Screamed Martin, his legs kicking Denver hard in his shoulders.
"Shh, cariño, we just had lunch, now we need to rest".
Denver carried him over to their bedroom, Martin landing on the bed with an undignified ‘oof’ and laying there, stunned. Denver quickly threw off his slippers and climbed next to Palermo, hugging him close to his chest.
"Denver, I need to work".
"No".
"Denver I want to work".
"No".
Martin huffed, trying to escape the tight grip. Unsuccessfully.
"Can you please let me go?"
"No".
"Okay".
Ha-ha, take that, you stupid video! Dani — 1, video — 1.