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None were really sure if it was a dream or real if he had come to visit them in his own way, or if it was simply their subconscious trying to help them heal.
Either way, it brought some comfort, at least.
Yasha saw him first. He appeared to her in her wanderings, her grief and anger leading her to go somewhere . Anywhere.
But her dreams had to lead her back to this place, grassy hills and a dull grey sky. Despite the frost on the ground wildflowers somehow managed to bloom, peeking out from the cold ground rebelliously.
He stood there, one hand on his hip and he looked at her. A softness in his eye and a smile playing on his chapped lips. He didn’t wear his coat, instead, it rested on a post, his grave marker , swaying so slightly in the breeze.
“Molly?” Her throat tightened. Pinpricks of hot tears bloomed in her eyes. For it was him, it was her Mollymauk.
His smile widened. Armed extended in a well-known invitation that she gladly took, she rushed at him scooping him into a hug, her hands unsure were to hand swapped between petting his hair and clutching at him. She cried now, tears running down her face as she sobbed.
“Easy there Yasha, I may be dead but I think if anyone could kill me again it would be you.” He laughed, her face was pressed against one of his horns uncomfortably but she didn’t care.
“But you’re here, you’ve come back.” She said clutching him to her harder, despites his slight groan at what would probably be a crushing weight against him.
“Not quite.”
She loosened her grip. Leaned back to look at him, see the certainty on his face. She frowned. How had she gotten to this field? She last remembered being in heavy wood, surrounded by trees and snow. Far away from this place.
“This is a dream, isn’t it. It’s not real.” her gut felt heavy like she had swallowed a stone.
He shrugged. “I don’t see why it can’t be both.”
Irrational anger filled her, she knew she should be happy to see him, even in her subconscious, logically she knew it wasn’t his fault, knew it wasn’t her fault. But she was so angry, how dare he leave her.
She punched him.
She probably shouldn’t have. But she did.
Throwing all her weight and anger and hurt into the blow she knocked his cleanly in the face, he staggered back blood dripping from his noes and mouth.
“Yeah probably deserve that.”
She screamed, guttural and fierce, and
so fucking angry
. She hit him again.
He didn’t doge, didn’t object, didn’t defend himself. Took her blows and grunted in pain, understanding in his eyes. She knocked him to the ground. He looked up at her, turned his head and spat blood. “Feel better?”
Her rage subsided, breathing hard. No. She didn’t feel better.
She offered him a hand and he took it, getting to his feet.
The dream shifted ever so slightly, they were sitting now, watching the sunrise over the horizon. There was a distant sound of thunder. His wounds were gone, face no longer bruised and slower and bloody. She couldn’t help but be a little relieved.
“Yash,” He said, leaning on her shoulder. “I cant stay, I wont be able to do this again, its not…” He paused, “I wish I could, but I cant.”
She sighed. It wasn’t something she didn’t already know.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, I should’ve… I”
He moved in a way that dug his horn into her arm, “None of that. It doesn’t matter what you did or didn’t do, what mattress is what you do now.”
She could see the storm now, it began to brew at the edges of the horizon. Thunder rang out across the fields.
“I miss you.”
“I miss you too.” emotion was thick in his voice. He places a friendly kiss to her shoulder.
She awoke. Back in the woods, her fire burning low. She cried.
~~~
It took him a while, but strangely enough, it was Nott who he saw next.
She was dreaming of a bar, mage hand slowly working its way towards pockets she knew had something interesting.
His voice from behind her, a loud whisper in his ear “What’re you doing?!”
She jumped, losing concentration on the spell as she turned to glare at him. “Molly!” she growled hitting him lightly as he laughed a full-bellied laugh. “Even in your dreams, you’re a shit.”
She paused, “dream?” then she remembered, a fight, waves of frost and cages that won’t fucking unlock. A fallen friend.
“This isn’t real…”
He sighed and slid down to sit beside her, handing her a drink. “I don’t see why if its a dream or not is important.”
“Well you’re dead,” she stated, sipping the drink. “ For a moment it seemed you weren’t”
Shrugging he smiled at her and winked, “Interesting look you have there.” She started, looking down at herself, skin a dark olive tone, fingers round and nails without claws.
“This is how I looked before.”
“So you weren’t always a goblin?”
“No.”
He paused, clearly thinking something to himself before letting out a sound of understanding “So that’s why you were such a bitch!” his hands slammed on the table lightly as his grin widened. “Why you focused so much on my stupid past!”
“I was not a bitch” She screeched, before remembering herself. “I simply thought it mattered, is all.”
“Uh huh.” He smirked and took another swig of his drink. “I knew you meant well though. So no hard feelings”
She didn’t say anything. Just eyed him from the rim of her drink.
“I honestly don’t know what to say Nott, I just wanted to say hello and goodbye I suppose. Look after them for me perhaps? Despite your many, many flaws you’re good.” He winked again as she hissed at him.
“I’m not that flawed.”
“Of course you are, that’s what makes you so interesting. Only boring people are perfect.”
A pause.
“We miss you,” She said softly, not meeting his gaze. “You know that right?”
He ruffled her hair despite the squawks of discontent at the action. “Of course you do, I’m too fabulous not to miss.”
“Dick.”
A gentle kiss to the forehead.
And she woke up, in the inn she fell asleep, curled in the corner of the bed, the sound of Caleb’s breathing the only thing breaking the silence. She took a swig from her flask.
~~~
Caleb found him in the busy streets of Zadash, the colourful contrasting creature that he was standing out like a sore thumb, basically parting the seas of people.
“Mr Mollymauk.” Caleb smiled a genuine smile, this wasn’t the first time Molly had appeared in his dreams but the first time he seemed so tangible. It was strange, however, seeing him without his coat. He always wore his coat in Caleb’s dreams, at least until he took it- and more off.
Mollymauk smiled and pulled him into an alleyway, Caleb blushed thinking about the many dreams he has had of the scenario. It seemed it would be one of those dreams tonight. He leaned forward to press his lips against Mollys, in a way that he never would have dared to in real life, but this was his dream after all. It didn’t matter.
Molly, however, reeled back, surprise painting his features. Caleb frowned, this wasn’t how his dreams normally went.
“I’m flattered Caleb, I really am. And if you were in a more… Healthy frame of mind I would take you up on that, but I think it would not do either of us any good. Especially given the circumstances.”
This was unlike any dream Caleb ever had, this was, he knew, how things were more likely to go should be had ever made an advance before. But in his dreams it did not matter that he was broken, or a monster,or that Molly was too good for him.
“What circumstances?” He asked, leaning back against the hard stone wall.
“Well I’m dead Caleb.”
“Ja.”
“And this is a dream.”
“Ja.”
Molly squinted, “you’re taking this rather well.” He drawled.
“You died, and I am dreaming yes.” Caleb agreed, rubbing the fabric on his sleeved, even in his dreams the feeling of the fabric comforted him. “But you are not normally aware of this when I dream,” He thought out loud, looking at the Teifling. “But perhaps this is my minds way of telling me I cannot have the things I want, which I suppose is true.” He pushed himself off the wall, his thinking placing energy in his body he needed to displace. “ Perhaps this is my minds way of allowing me to move on, I suppose dreaming of often of a dead man is unhealthy.”
Mollymauk laughed, that dizzying laugh of his and placed a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. “Or perhaps I am a ghost visiting from beyond the mortal coil?”
Caleb scoffed, “If such things were true I doubt you would visit me.”
Molly shrugged, arm wrapping around Caleb’s waist, “And if it was and I did?”
Caleb frowned looking at him. “Well in which case I would apologise.”
“Whatever for.”
“For not being able to save you.”
Mollymauk groaned, rolling his eyes, “ Why does everyone insist on being so self-important to think it’s their fault? Hm?” He asked, “ The world doesn’t revolve around you ya know?”
“Ja. It is just- “
“-Nope.” Molly interrupted, tilting his head to meet Caleb’s sombre expression, “I died, it was no one’s fault but Lorenzo’s and you killed that fucker.” He winked, stepped around in front of the wizard and planted a kiss on his forehead. “The past happened, stop other people from suffering, if you think you’re shit then aim to be better.”
Caleb awoke, with the strangest feeling, that perhaps that hadn’t been only a creation of his own mind.
~~~
Fjord stood at the wheel of the Ball Eater, the sea was calm and the sun warmed his skin, he was sailing.. Somewhere, he didn’t know where but it wasn’t important.
He nearly yelped when he heard a cry from above him.
“YOU’RE ALL PIRATES NOW?!” Mollymauk was swinging from the rigging and landed with a summersault in front of him, his coat was missing, but he wore a ridiculous hat.
“You know, I think this is the first time I’m truly upset that I cannot join you,” His smile was bright as he leaned against the railing. “ I mean, of course, I wish I could join you all in all your adventures but alas,” He waved his hand dismissively. “But Pirates?!” He took hold of Fjord.
“Show me
everything.
”
Fjord, while very confused at the teiflings outburst, showed him the basics of manning a ship. It took some time, he… he couldn’t identify how long it took, nor how he got from place to place, one moment he was climbing up the mast after Molly, and the next we stood in the crow’s nest, the wind whipping across his face as Molly laughed. Then they were below decks, it didn’t make sense but he honestly didn’t question it.
It wasn’t until he asked Molly why he was so suddenly excited, he had been sailing with Fjord this whole time, then the truth began to dawn on him. Mollymauks eyes filled with something that looked like sorrow and he gently places a hand on Fjords arm.
“No, this is a dream.”
“Ah, so you’re not real then…” He remembered now, Molly, well he was gone. He’d never stolen a ship with the group, nor did he sail with them.
“Just because somethings a dream, doesn’t mean it’s not real. You dream of drowning and wake up choking on seawater don’t you?”
Fjord hummed, “ Yeah I suppose you’re right.” a beat of silence, “So why’re you here Molly? Got any wisdom from beyond the grave?”
Molly snorted, then threw his head back in laughter. “Do you really think I’m wise? I’m so flattered” He looks Fjord up and down, the leaned back. “But no, honestly? I wanted to say hi… Its getting harder to do that, I dont think I’ll be able to make an appearance again, but I just wanted to say hi, pretend to be a pirate for a bit.”
Fjord thought for a moment, “You want to go fight something then?”
Molly’s eyes widened, “ What?”
Fjord shrugged then leaned back in his chair, mirroring Molly’s stance, “Well this is a dream, we can do whatever we want, so if you want we can try to get you the full pirate experience?”
Molly’s eyes shone brightly, “Fuck yes.”
The ship rocked and crashing was heard above.
“Capatain!” Orlie’s voice was heard from the ruckus, Fjord looked at Molly whos smile had turned a mix of feral and delight. His two scimitars drawn he nodded at Fjord
“Let’s go be pirates.” and with that, he ran up towards the deck his voice adding to the cacophony of battle cries.
Fjord reached the top of the deck surveying the oncoming attack, expecting another ship… Was that a fucking
dragon turtle?
After was seemed an age, the two sat in the crows’ nest, the stars above them, Fjord was surprised, that despite this being a dream his body still ached as though he truly had battled a creature of legend.
Molly smiled at him warmly.
“Why are you lookin’ at me like that?”
“You’re a good man.”
Fjord blanched, that was not what he expected, a dirty joke perhaps, but this?
“ I mean it,” Molly continued, his face turning up to look at the stars their lights reflecting in his red eyes. “ I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t. But you’re good, don’t lose sight of that.”
“I-” this throat constricted in a way it hadn’t for a while, “I won’t.”
A quiet moment passed, full of unspoken promises and words left unsaid.
“You were good too” it was barely a whisper, but Molly’s face shifted in some unreadable expression. “You know that, right?”
Mollymauk took his hand in his, and brought his hand up to his face, brushing his lips across Fjord knuckles in a kiss.
“Stay safe Fjord. I’m watching you, all of you. Make me proud.”
Fjord awoke, the ghost of a kiss still lingering on his knuckles, he considered Molly’s words. They weren’t threatening, it was reassuring more than anything, Molly Was watching, he was there. In his own way.
~~
Beau was studying, she had to finish this book then she would be able to sneak out, but no matter how much she kept reading the book never got any closer to being finished. She wasn’t even sure what the book was about.
“Hello, unpleasant one.” She frowned. And looked up.
There he was, lacking his coat but still looking like he had run through a craft store covered in glue and then made an outfit of whatever stuck. He looked around the library and whistled. “Even in your dreams you dream of studying, I always knew you were a nerd.” He pulled out the chair beside her which scraped against the hardwood floor with a heavy groan.
“I don’t want to -” She started to argue before pausing, the gears of her thought process clinking into position. “ Dream.” She sighed, closing the book in front of her, “that’s why I couldn’t finish this fucking book.”
Mollymauk snickered and said something behind his hands that sounded awfully like “nerd” . She shoved him lightly “Even in my dreams you’re an asshole.” He tilted his head in admission.
“So why’re you here Molly? Why now?”
He paused, tail flicking agitated behind him. “You hadn’t been ready until now. If I had of shown up, you would’ve been back to square one. But look at you now,” He smiled and while she would never tell the bastard Beau felt a little warmth in her chest, she had missed that cocky fucking smile. “You’re an expositor, you’re not a complete bitch all the time, you’ve accepted yourself and your past as they are and have decided to be better.”
“Cut your bullshit Molly, you came here because I can punch ghosts now and you knew that if you didn’t I’d hunt you down to punch the shit out of ya.”
“Oh please,” he chuckled, “ You would never beat me, you know I’m too pretty to ever allow someone like you to bust my perfect face.”
For half a second Beau saw him as she last did, bloody faced and eyes open and blank. She blinked the vision away.
“Molly,” her voice cracked, she hated herself for it. “ I... “ she paused, unsure. “Are you… are you proud of me? Of us?”
Molly smiled, his eyes shining and wet. He stood, the chair didn’t make a noise. He kissed her forehead.
“I’m so
fucking
proud.”
She woke up, face down in the book she had been writing her current research notes in. She let herself cry. She felt better.
~~~
Jester was picnicking with an array of woodland animals, Sprinkles happily snacked on a doughnut beside her. She turned to offer what she had thought would be a peacock a cucumber sandwich, only to turn to see Molly.
“Oh don’t mind if I do.” He chirped, taking the tiny sandwich from her and popping the whole thing in his mouth. “Mm this is very good Jester” He spoke through a mouthful of food.
“Molly!” She squealed and practically pounced on him, wrapping him in a crushing hug. “Oh My Gosh how did you get here? Why are you even here? Have you seen the others too? Why didn’t you see me sooner I could have told you all the things we’re doing and OH My Gosh did you know we were Pirates?!”
“There's so much there I don’t know where to begin Jester dear.” He said untangling his jewellery from her, slowly detaching himself. “Well for one, time is a bit weird for me, but I try to be at the right place at the right time, and honestly the how is very complicated and a lot to get into, I have seen the others yes, I waited until you were ready, when seeing me wouldn’t cause more pain than joy, and yes I did and it was Fabulous!”
She nodded. “And this is real, this isn’t a dream? Sometimes in my dreams, you’re still with us.”
He looked at her thoughtfully, Jester couldn’t help but notice that he seemed somewhat different, more mature maybe? She could understand that she’d probably grown up a bit more too.
“Why do people keep asking if things are real or a dream? Why must things be real for me to be here?”
She hummed, “Yeah, that’s true. But I still think its really you.”
“I should hope so” He leaned back, his fingers digging into the grass and dirt, “ Would be awfully awkward for me and that raven boy if I weren’t really me.”
She flopped back into the grass, “ Is it fun wherever you are? Do you get to not be bored all the time, or lonely.”
He joined her in laying in the grass, head propped up in his hand as he looked at her, “ It has its moments, I’m sure it will be more fun when you get to stay with me Jes, all the mischief we’ll have then.” He studied her face, which carefully hid her growing fear and a slight bubbling panic. “But that won’t be for a very, very long time. I’ll kick you back to the material plane myself if you arrive too early.”
She let out a breath, suddenly finding her eyes growing watery.
“Thanks, Molly.” She spoke lightly, but sniffle somewhat. “ I wish someone had of kicked you back… but its okay” she sighed, steadying her breath, “ no one could have done anything. Sometimes people die, and it's terrible, but it's natural.” She chuckled, swatting at the tears, “that's something Caduceus taught me.”
Mollmauk shuffled closer to her, hugging her as they lay in the grass together. “I like him.”
“Yeah me too.”
They laid together, quietly, enjoying the others company for as long as they could. It seemed to Jester that Molly was enjoying the feeling of the grass as he bushed his fingers against it, maybe they didn’t have grass wherever he was.
She’d imagined what she would say if she could see him again, that she was sorry, that she missed him, that if she coil of changed what happened she would in a heartbeat. But it all felt stupid now, he knew all that, she didn’t need to say it.
It was nice, just hugging him again.
At some point, he tilted his head as if listening to something.
“I have to go Jes,” He sighed, planting a kiss on her forehead.
“Okay… Thank you for being here with me today.”
“It was my pleasure.” He got up, but paused before crouching back down, “You deserve good things Jess, you are allowed to be hurt, and its okay to need comfort.”
And like that, he was gone, and she was awake.
She crossed the room and climbed into bed with Beau, she needed a hug.
~~~
Caduceus remembered this place, it was the fields on the road away from shady creek run. Where they had stopped to pay respects to the one who came before him.
The fields ran wild with flowers, bright colours painted the landscape in hues of red and blue, pink and orange, it was dizzying.
In front of him sat a man, purple teifling, he leaned on a post which a colourful technicolour coat hung.
“You’re him aren’t you, Mollymauk” Caduceus asked, groaning somewhat as he sat across from the man.
“And you’re Caduceus” The teifling smiled, head tilting as he studies the firbulg. “Thank you.”
Cad could have asked what he was being thanked for, but he felt like he knew.
“No thanks necessary, they help me as much as I do them.”
Mr Mollmauk shrugged, “ I’m still thankful.”
Cad nodded, that was understandable. “Would you like some tea? I don’t know how it will taste in a dream but I have a very nice blend that came from the O’Hera’s “
Mr Mollymauk smiled, “I’d be delighted.”