Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

birthdays have always been just a regular day for seungwan, but turning 16? 16 is an exciting time for every teen, it’s a phase of life that everyone looks forward to and it’s the turning point for most. seungwan hasn’t been excluded. she’s been bursting with excitement at the mere thought of it for weeks as much as she tries to hide it. and it didn’t help that seulgi, her best friend, or rather, her only friend, had her birthday a couple of days earlier than her.

seulgi, being slightly older than seungwan, had already received the gift of the universe — the first words her soulmate will ever say to her tattooed permanently on her wrist.

now that 11 days have passed, it’s seungwan’s turn. between the two of them, seulgi’s the social butterfly, she made friends with everyone including both seniors and juniors from all over school, the teachers and even that random kid’s mom. seungwan, on the other hand, though a kind person at heart, is shy beyond belief. her social skills are terrible at best and honestly, being friends with seulgi for almost her entire life should’ve helped. but by some unlucky miracle, her skills are just as bad as when she first met seulgi — maybe even worse. she earns the title of being the nice and quiet girl in class pretty easily. not like she minds either way, she enjoys her books and video games more than she did people, seulgi’s the only exception.

so turning 16 would be a quiet affair for her, though it didn’t feel right without her best friend sleeping over and binging a few movies. the duo lounges on seungwan’s bed with a laptop and a bowl of popcorn between them, chatting through their second movie of the night — but it’s mostly just seulgi making stupid comments much to seungwan’s annoyance. and almost as abruptly as she had entered seungwan’s life, seulgi roughly nudges her, pointing towards the clock hanging on the wall in seungwan’s nerd cave.

“one minute to go, wannie! are you excited?" seulgi beams widely, shaking her poor friend who was in the midst of swallowing some popcorn.

seungwan’s eyes widen as she feels a kernel make its way down her throat and she reaches for her can of fizzy soda to push it down to her gut, “wouldn’t be very exciting if you killed me before i even see my tattoo." she chokes in a deadpan tone, clutching her chest as the pain slowly fades.

seulgi could only toss her a cheeky smile while wrapping her in a side hug,  “hehe …“

the clock shows that it’s a little past midnight when seungwan finally collects herself. most days she thinks love is for fools, but today, she’s still more than excited to see what her tattoo could be. she prays with all her might that she wouldn’t end up with a simple ‘hey’ or ‘hello’ but something more romantic, or cooler.

seulgi’s tattoo is a little unnerving to say the least, but it’s still much cooler than a basic greeting.

“yah! hurry up! i’m curious!“ her best friend nudges her once again, though a little less aggressively this time.

seungwan rolls her eyes and groans, “i’m getting to it, stop yelling!"

the younger girl lifts up her arms, wrists covered by the sleeves of the matching pyjamas that the best friends have decided to wear in celebration of her 16th birthday. with her heart rate rising in anticipation, she pulls down her left sleeve to reveal plain skin. wrong side, she huffs, the universe is really making her feel stupid already.

pulling down her right sleeve, she sees the first words her soulmate will say etched into her skin.

there’s silence for a split second before seulgi snorts loudly, which turns into a burst of full-blown laughter at the expense of seungwan’s luck. the birthday girl, on the other hand, is stunned into silence.

son seungwan, the quietest but sweetest girl to ever exist, has never let a curse word leave her tongue.

until now.

“what the actual fuck?”

“language! son seungwan!” seulgi somehow still manages to shove the smaller girl in the midst of attempting to wipe tears from her eyes.

“i don’t give a fuck about language right now, seul! literally, the bar was on the floor! when i meant anything but ‘hi’ or ‘hey’, i didn’t mean bullshit like this!” seungwan explodes in a fit of rage all while glaring at the words that have made its home on her skin.

“it’s kinda cute if you think about it, no?” seulgi has to bite back a laugh because seungwan is pissed — and seungwan is never angry, even if she’s playing with utter idiots in her video games.

she turns to seulgi with an incredulous look plastered on her face, her jaw drops and eyebrows furrow in anger, “what the fuck does kiyub mean?”

“kiyub!” seulgi exclaims with an innocent look on her face, even in her anger, seungwan could see the underlying cuteness the word contained.

and said cuteness did help dissipate her anger slightly, huffing indignantly, the image of the word burns deeply into her mind. as cute as it could potentially sound, the design of it is more mocking than anything.

comic sans — the bane of her existence.

it’s a five-letter word that takes up the entire width of her right wrist, of course, it has to be big and bolded. but comic sans? this is too much. 

did the universe really take her for a fool? are they serious? does she have to put on her clown shoes and a big red nose that goes honk honk?

pulling down her sleeves with newfound despair, she leans into seulgi’s attempt at comfort. seungwan likes to think that seulgi is a personified teddy bear, her best friend gives good hugs and though a good hug won’t change the words on her wrist, they do make her feel a little less of a clown.

“i swear, if my soulmate isn’t as cute as you, i want a refund.”

“you might as well start processing it now because you won’t find anyone like me. i heard it’ll take three working days for god to receive your prayers.”

“we both know god-sunbaenim will ignore me but retattoo kiyub but in a script font.” seungwan groans loudly, knowing her luck, this scenario is more than likely if it is to even happen in the first place.

“oooh, fancy kiyub.” seulgi teases, “kiyub~” she tries the word again while enunciating every syllable slowly, seungwan could only smack her best friend in annoyance.

seulgi cries out in mock pain and pouts,  “ow! what’s wrong with kiyub?” trying the word in a higher tone once again.

“you’re really asking for it, aren’t you? you’re dying for it!” seungwan growls as she tackles seulgi, hands on the older girl’s neck within seconds.

“kiyub! kiyub!”

“i’ll make sure you never meet your soulmate if you don’t shut up, kang seulgi!”

“...”

“...”

“… kiyub.”

“that’s it!”

the rest of son seungwan’s high school life passes by relatively uneventfully unless you consider graduating a big life event. it’s just another phase that everyone has to go through, so it didn’t feel like a special occasion or anything. her soulmate tattoo takes a backseat in her head for the years to come, the initial excitement fades quickly due to her peculiar tattoo. she doubts she’ll find them this quickly anyway, who in their right mind would say ‘kiyub’ anyway?

after their finals, seungwan has more free time than she knows what to do with it. under seulgi’s insistence, she offers her brains to the little shits in her school — little shits being the juniors that seulgi have somehow befriended. how seulgi still manages to make friends despite her busy schedules is an enigma seungwan will never comprehend.

it starts small, just one or two that she actually recognises, then word spread that this kind and smart senior is coaching juniors. then, it turns into a group of ten bombarding her with questions that they should probably ask their teachers. eventually, there's too many of them and seungwan has to call it a day before she's mobbed by a bunch of desperate students.

oh, but she never really did have lady luck on her side. the universe loves to make a fool out of her.

seungwan sits at the empty cafeteria, mindlessly scrolling through a forum for her current obsession of a game, waiting for seulgi to be done with her dance club activities so they could go home together. it's normal for seniors to continue helping out post graduation and everyone knows seulgi is more than dedicated, it's almost as if she lived in the dance studio.

"hey."

a voice catches her attention but not enough to pull her eyes away from her phone. the harsh tone signalled to her that it isn't seulgi and she's not one to give attention to random strangers.

"hey." a forceful hand claps down on her shoulder and sends pain all the way down her shoulder blades, while the impact causes her phone to fall to the ground with a loud smack, "you're the nerdy senior that teaches right?"

seungwan holds back a wince as she bends down to pick up her phone, dusting it and inspecting it for cracks. she's prepared to lash out at the person who has so rudely interrupted her peace and quiet.

a tall — well, compared to seungwan she would be gigantic, girl, stands behind her intimidatingly. she might be the quiet nerd but standing up for herself isn’t the hardest thing to do in the world but the chances and her courage to do so have dwindled over the years. something about the look in her eyes told seungwan that it would be a good idea to listen to everything she says.

"did you hear me? are you still teaching?" the girl snaps her fingers in seungwan's face to get her attention.

the girl, probably a year or two younger, is unsurprisingly fierce and annoyed. seungwan knows these types of students pretty well, they don't usually study and they mostly leave her to her nerd shit as most would call it.

the nerdy girl breaks out of her haze and shakes her head, "i told everyone that today would be the last lesson, there's too many—"

"are you serious? come on, at least continue until i'm done with my exams."

"no means no, if i tutor you, it wouldn't be fair to the others."

seungwan didn't know where she found the courage to deny the younger girl but for a moment, she's glad she did. but the feeling is ephemeral when the girl narrows her eyes and glares at her.

her bravery turns into a quiet squeak as the younger girl grabs her by the collar, lifting her almost a little too easily while leaning a little closer,  “say it again, i didn't hear you." she hisses menacingly while narrowing her eyes.

seungwan avoids her angry gaze at all costs, her brain working in overdrive to figure out an escape plan. her eyes happen to land on the girl's wrist where her tattoo is embedded and she almost snorts at what it says but holds it back because snorting right now would mean a certain death. man, she's scary, whoever's her soulmate must have worse luck than her.

"i need you to tutor me, or else!"

"i–"

"yah! you little shit!"

wait a minute … why did that sentence sound oddly familiar? linking its familiarity to the sound of seulgi's voice didn't feel right. in her confusion and to her relief, the girl lets her go, albeit a little rougher than she likes.

kang seulgi is truly her saviour.

her eyes light up as she watches seulgi storm over to them with every intent to protect her best friend but the tall girl seems shocked, like she's reached an epiphany over hearing seulgi's voice.

"i'm going to fucking kill you!" the girl suddenly yells after a quick glance at her wrist.

and then seungwan connects the dots. the girl whose soulmate is supposedly cursed with worse luck than her — is her best friend.

seulgi freezes in her step and lifts her hand as well, her gaze flits from her wrist to the giant and then to seungwan.

seungwan's eyes are about to pop out from their sockets but she stares nervously at the two new soulmates. she should be happy, right? seulgi's soulmate is standing right in front of her.

but said soulmate has also just threatened her, so is it still a good thing? maybe not exactly?

"i can't believe your first fucking words are 'yah! you little shit!' like are you kidding me? i have to live with this tattoo on my wrist for the rest of my life! do you know how stupid i sound when anyone asks what my tattoo says?" the girl yells accusingly as she continues to glare at seulgi.

the stunned bear-like girl acts like a fish out of water, her mouth opens and closes while she struggles to find the right words, "as if ‘i’m going to fucking kill you!’ is a nicer tattoo to have!" seulgi retorts incredulously after a prolonged silence.

the funny thing about soulmates is everyone pictures the moment they hear their soulmates, but not the first words that they’ll say. the tension is heavy in the air and seungwan watches in fear and apprehension, what's next? merely watching the two stare each other in the eyes is enough to create a harrowing atmosphere and she contemplated slinking away from the new pair of soulmates before it’s too late.

"i'm sooyoung."

"seulgi."

"i need your friend to tutor me."

"okay, wannie, you heard that?"

seungwan nods in agreement to hearing seulgi — not in agreement to tutoring this girl, sooyoung, who was holding her up by her collar a minute ago.

“wait! no! no i will not tutor you!”

“you literally nodded!”

“back me up, seul.”

seulgi, being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea, has to choose the lesser evil here. considering how sooyoung was threatening seungwan, she decides that it would be okay to sacrifice her best friend to her demon of a soulmate for now. it’d probably be easier to make up to seungwan than to appease and chase after her little shit.

“sorry wannie, you did agree.”

"wait what? aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

“… love knows no bounds?”

kang seulgi had just stabbed her in the back — wait no, front. has she really been betrayed by her best friend within mere seconds of meeting her soulmate?

"wow, i think i love you already." sooyoung smirks.

"you're still a little shit for bullying my wannie." seulgi huffs.

"your wannie?"

"don't be jealous, you can be my little shit."

seungwan couldn't believe her ears, are they really doing this? right now? right in front of her? she resists all urge to throw up here and now, if this is what seulgi is going to be like with her soulmate, she might just lose her best friend.

"you're both little shits,"  seungwan deadpans, "go make out in the toilet or something, i'm going home."

"i'll get your number from seulgi, thanks wannie." sooyoung winks as she turns her attention to her new soulmate who has the dopiest smile plastered on her face.

the universe just loves to torment her, especially when it comes to soulmates.

tattoos were always a little weird to joohyun. she isn't exactly sure how it begins, like do you just fall for them after hearing them for the first time? does the attraction come as quickly and unsuspecting as her tattoo? she has no idea how love works despite never having the lack of it, so many people have confessed to her over the years, but it feels like all their love combined could never make up for her missing soulmate. still, she remains hopeful, she has a whole lifetime to wait for those words to be said as strange as it might sound.

meeting people used to be fun until they started judging her for her looks instead of her personality. funny how those who knew her the least have the most to say.

if there's anyone everyone knew on campus, it'd be bae joohyun. the psychology senior who's in her final year of university also happens to be a decently popular instagram model. the modelling started as a favour for her roommate's soulmate, then more and more photographers came to her and thus, she garnered quite the following. it stays more of a hobby and part-time job than anything. the mild fame took a little getting used to but she eventually got desensitized to the comments, if people loved her, great. if they didn't, then well, they didn't. 

for the most part, she keeps a low profile despite all the attention, her grades and private life remain unaffected by all the buzz, so she didn't really mind, it just meant that a couple more people would point fingers when she travels around campus and well, in public too. but keeping it lowkey, isn’t as easy as it sounds, there's one key factor to keeping it this way and that is to stay away from social situations she had no control in, mainly parties. most of the time, she's stuck to it, but she likes to make an exception during the festive seasons.

and when word got out joohyun only went for certain parties? all hell broke loose and she pretty much stayed away from partying until her roommate, kim yongsun, convinced her to attend one last party as some sort of a final hurrah. it’s their final year anyway, after that, they couldn’t be reckless teenagers anymore.

getting into university was a breeze, a new school year begins with bare minimal social interactions because seungwan always has a hard time adjusting to new environments. being alone is and probably will always be the norm for her.

hanging out alone with seulgi becomes a rare occurrence because sooyoung is literally always with her and god forbids her to stomach this horrible married couple’s antics. sometimes they would flirt incessantly in the dorm that she shared with seulgi despite her blatant disgust, other times, they would argue as if the world’s about to end, if it did, they would be the cause of it. it’s a coin flip every time she decides to hang out with them, but she does so anyway because it’s not like she has any other choice.

the first year of university passes relatively smoothly, her grades are good — but seulgi disagrees, it’s more than good, she’s top in almost every class. still, it’s good to have a small handful of friends, well, two to be exact, seulgi and sooyoung, it’s a little depressing but less distracting. 

but her sociable best friend has other plans for her.

“c’mon wannie,” seulgi whines while poking seungwan in the arm, lying on her stomach on seungwan's bed, attempting to convince her little nerd of a friend to attend a new year's eve party, “just one party!”

“i said no, seul, i don’t wanna go to a loud ass party where people will probably puke on me.” seungwan grumbles as she turns her attention back to the anime she has decided to watch to tune out her best friend’s incessant whining.

“you can’t say you’ve been to university when you’ve never even been to a party, come on!” the graphic design major continues to tug at seungwan’s sleeves, knowing well that if she keeps this up, she’ll give in eventually.

“no, now leave me alone, i can’t focus with your whining!”

“you might meet kiyub,” her best friend offers in an almost hopeful tone.

kiyub — has turned into an inside joke for the two, since seungwan has never had any sort of romantic interest about anyone or gender, so seulgi settled on calling her soulmate ‘kiyub’.

“well, kiyub can kiyub off.” the introvert hisses shortly.

“it’s either this party or i’m calling sooyoung to come over and we can make out for hours.” seulgi reveals her trump card with a gleeful smirk, adding kissing noises like icing on a cake.

seungwan slams her spacebar with a little too much force, she’d rather deal with the loud music of a party than the barf-inducing sounds of two wet lips meeting over and over. without another word, she moves over to her wardrobe to pick something that doesn’t scream loser.

within an hour, the two best friends are on the doorstep of one of seulgi’s many friends’ houses and from what seungwan gathers, it’s probably a senior. she swears she’ll get back at seulgi … someday … but it’s not like she’s taken revenge for the whole tutoring sooyoung incident … yet.

the scene looks like any other typical party, except with a little more people than she’s comfortable to be around. loud music blares from within the house and even with the door closed, it can still be heard from the outside. she feels the loud bass pounding in her chest the moment seulgi yanks her into the crowded living room and seungwan holds onto her for dear life.  groups of people hang all around the house with the scent of alcohol and cigarettes lingering in the air. as much as she regrets her choice, just the mere thought of seulgi and sooyoung making out convinces her that this is a better option — it has to be.

all she has to do is make it through the night and everything will be alright.

seulgi drags her mercilessly through heaps of people while greeting each and everyone of them, is there anyone that seulgi didn’t know? they reach a room near the back where a crowd of people chants ‘chug! chug! chug!’. seulgi tosses a mischievous look to seungwan before raising their hands and joining in the chaos. it probably slipped seulgi’s mind that seungwan’s a little too short to see anything.

it takes a while but the crowd eventually combines into one loud cheer, assuming whoever that’s being hyped up is done with whatever challenge. seungwan snaps back into reality as if she hadn’t spent the last couple of minutes zoning out and wishing she was still back in the safety of her dorm. seulgi pushes her way through the crowd with her in tow. upon reaching the eye of the storm, seungwan finally sees a scrawny girl wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she tosses an empty bottle to the carpeted floor.

“byulyi-unnie!” seulgi shouts excitedly over the loud music, leaving seungwan’s side to embrace the girl who has just finished a can of beer, maybe two.

the scrawny girl is about the same height as seulgi, so she’s considered tall in seungwan’s head. then again, most people are considered tall. her most striking feature has to be the bleached blonde hair tucked under a backwards baseball cap, followed by her cheeks which makes her look like a hamster.

“oh, seulgi-ah! glad to see you made it!” the girl slaps seulgi’s back lightly and grins widely, obviously intoxicated but still sober enough to function.

“unnie, meet my best friend, seungwan. wannie, meet byulyi-unnie, one of my seniors.” seulgi smiles widely as she beckons the shy girl to come over, “it’s her first party and i want to introduce her to some new people!”

seulgi isn’t even drunk but she’s already hell bent on embarrassing seungwan. the introvert glares at her best friend while making her way to the semi-drunk blonde senior with a shy smile.

“hi unnie, nice to meet you.”

“seungwan-ah, i’ve heard a lot about you from seulgi, sometimes it slips my mind that her soulmate is sooyoung. wait — where’s my soulmate?” byulyi begins to ramble, okay, maybe she’s a little more drunk than seungwan expects, which is a good thing because then she wouldn't remember how awkward seungwan is.

the blonde girl breaks out of seulgi’s hold and begins stumbling out of the room, yelling at the top of her lungs for a kim yongsun. seulgi merely shrugs as she drags her best friend to follow their drunken senior.

if god is real, please let something good come out of this night, seungwan pleads desperately.

somehow, they end up in the kitchen and byulyi has found her soulmate next to an ethereal being of beauty. 

shit. 

seungwan’s mind goes blank momentarily as her eyes fall upon the tiny but deadly gorgeous girl that stands next to the supposed kim yongsun. her breathing hitches as she stares unabashedly, mouth turning drier by the second.

“i see kiyub might be a girl then.” seulgi whispers teasingly into her ear, earning a painful elbow to the ribs.

“shut up.” seungwan hisses sharply after swallowing, she’s not about to have her gay awakening at her very first party.

seulgi exchange greetings with the two seniors while byulyi clings onto her soulmate’s side as if they are welded together. the brunette can only offer an apologetic smile to the two younger girls. “sorry, she tends to act like an idiot when she’s drunk. i’m yongsun and that’s joohyun, nice to meet you, seungwan.”

the goddess shoots the two a small smile and seungwan feel the words getting stuck in her throat, she stammers slightly but seulgi decides to save her from making a fool of herself.

“i’ve told them about you,” seulgi informs easily, quickly assuming that seungwan's nervousness came from yongsun knowing her name, “i met them at one of byulyi-unnie’s parties.”

byulyi nods a little too excitedly and the alcohol has affected her senses, she shouts in a voice that’s several decibels too high, “we should recreate that night, seulgi-ah!”

“no and stop yelling, byul-ah, you’re going to make me deaf, idiot.” yongsun chides with annoyance in her voice, from seungwan’s point of view, it looks like yongsun is the younger one but with how they act, it’s hard to tell.

“i’m not an idiot!”

“oh really? check your tattoo, idiot.”

all eyes are on byulyi’s wrist and the word ‘idiot’ is embedded in her skin in a serif font. seungwan can’t help but snort at the hilarity of the situation, it makes her feel a little better about her comic sans tattoo. kiyub might not be all that bad after all.

“glad you find it amusing, seungwan-ah,” byulyi smirks devilishly as she leaves her soulmate’s side to wrap an arm around seungwan’s neck, “now let’s go meet some people, i’ve got a couple of nerd friends you’ll probably like.”

before seungwan could even beg seulgi for help, byulyi is dragging her out of the kitchen to interact with the other partygoers. 

“stick to beer, wannie! i’m not carrying you back to our dorm if you get too drunk!” were seulgi’s last words to her.

if she doesn’t make it out alive, seulgi better not sell her prized figurine collection so she can take sooyoung out for dinner.

joohyun tags along with yongsun and her soulmate, byulyi. it’s a new year’s party hosted by one of the jocks who’s been texting her nonstop for the past month and she’s not sure why she even agreed. hence, she hides away in the kitchen where the music as deafening and she can question her choices for a moment.

“busy night?” yongsun teases as she enters the kitchen to find joohyun hiding away from the rest of the world.

the senior rolls her eyes and huffs indignantly, “i finally managed to dodge daehyun, give me a break.”

“i’m surprised you even said okay to coming.” yong offers a sympathetic smile and a light nudge.

“i’m surprised byulyi isn’t glued to you for the first time.” joohyun retorts while sticking her tongue out and crossing her arms over her chest.

yongsun throws a playful smack at her roommate and shrugs, “i lost her a while ago, i bumped into chorong and i guess byul got bored.”

it doesn’t take more than a second after the words leave her lips to hear her name being yelled across the corridor. yongsun exhales tiredly and turns her attention to the source, but she could never be mad.

“yong! yongsun! kim yongsun!”

byulyi stumbles into the kitchen a few moments later and joohyun sighs, there goes her momentary break. plus, now that the younger girl has stumbled into the kitchen, clearly drunk, she doubts yongsun will be able to protect her from the dreaded jocks.

"good luck, miss kim." joohyun smirks as yongsun begins to chide byulyi.

"don't make me tell daehyun you want to talk." yongsun hisses back sharply.

joohyun purses her lips and her attention turns to the other people who entered with byulyi. she recognised seulgi, one of byulyi's juniors, she helped out with one of her projects before so they weren't exactly strangers.

but she has never seen the small quiet girl next to seulgi, so why is her heart racing?

joohyun doesn't pay much attention to the conversation, she keeps an eye on the soft spoken girl, seungwan's her name and she looked like she didn't want to be here.

that makes the two of them.

byulyi eventually drags the poor girl out while the three continue to chat in the kitchen — the only spot indoors where anyone could hold a proper conversation without yelling.

"she's adorable, why'd you bring her here, seulgi-ah?" yongsun shakes her head with a soft chuckle.

seulgi takes a sip of her drink and sighs, "she needs to experience one party at least, unnie. i can't let her go through all of university in our dorm room." 

"you picked the worst one, any party with joohyun is guaranteed to be a disaster." yongsun jokes.

"yah … what does that mean? even if i wasn't here, she wouldn't want to be here either.“ joohyun clicks her teeth in annoyance and nudges her roommate.

seulgi waves her hand dismissively, “i trust byulyi-unnie to loosen her up a little, she brings out the fun in all of us.”

“there won’t be any fun this time, i confiscated her fireworks beforehand,” yongsun smirks cockily before ushering them back into the crowd that has only grown, “now let's have fun safely.”

the rest of the night ends up being pretty uneventful, she sticks with yong to avoid any and all men but she seemed to bump into byulyi and seungwan no matter where she went.

the younger girl noticed her as well, joohyun feels like she's being watched all night long and let's be honest, seungwan isn't sleek. if she had a dollar for every time she caught the shy girl staring, she'd probably have enough money to take her out.

the senior is used to receiving stares but something about seungwan makes her nervous. it feels like she has to be perfect in her eyes and she didn't want to mess anything up. so she keeps a distance, but as the night draws to an end, her body is filled with a little too much alcohol and she decides she wants to talk to the quiet little girl.

luckily for her, the alcohol had made the party a little more enjoyable as well, so she's in a good mood. joohyun slips into an empty spot in the house in an attempt to sober up but to no avail. she stares blankly at the wall while her mind slowly becomes devoid of any thoughts.

a snap of a finger right in her face causes her to jump in surprise and she exhales sharply once she registered who it is.

"hyun, have you seen byul?" yongsun narrows her eyes as she scans the crowded room, looking for her soulmate.

the senior shakes her head with a shrug, "wasn't she with seulgi's friend?"

"i've searched the entire place, they're not here." yongsun frowns.

joohyun slings an arm around her roommate and sighs,  “maybe she went outside to set off more fireworks."

within a split second, yongsun makes a mad dash for the front door, leaving joohyun in the dust. she lets out an amused smile as she follows in yongsun's trail, half knowing that she’ll more or less be right.

the night passes by almost agonizingly, though with the help of some liquid courage, it becomes more bearable. not like seungwan would admit it to seulgi, because the latter would never let her live it down, but she’s having more fun than she thought she would. byulyi doesn’t let the introvert leave her sight until she’s a little too inebriated to form coherent sentences, so seungwan takes the chance and slips outside to escape the people and music. sitting on the wooden steps porch, she rests her head on the rails as the world spins slowly. there are only a couple people outside, most people are blacked out or having sex somewhere, both seem grossly unappealing to her.

she’s tipsy but sober. if you asked her to do math, she probably could. but if you asked her to walk in a straight line, well, that could pose a little problem. she stares up into the darkness of the sky, feeling the alcohol make its way through her system. in her drunken haze, she thinks about the various characters she’s met tonight. 

byulyi is loud if anything, but she’s nice and friendly as well, a little like seulgi but a dash more chaotic. yongsun was personable and kind and she could really yell. she also did a shot with this art major who had blue hair, seungwan vaguely remembers her name, maybe it was wheein. there’s a bunch more that she never got the names of and probably wouldn’t even remember tomorrow. it’s fine by her since she’s used to having only two friends.

but then there’s joohyun. god, the way her name sounds in seungwan’s head is enough to make her heart flutter. love at first sight is utter nonsense until she’s the one experiencing it. so what if she did spend some time during the night to spare a few glances at joohyun — maybe not a few glances but more like a few long hard stares that stopped only when joohyun turns to look at her with a slight frown. her gaze is intimidatingly scary and if seungwan isn’t drunk and embarrassed, she’d probably feel a little scared.

the alcohol can’t dull the embarrassment that she feels now, she feels stupid just thinking about her actions and she lets out a heavy sigh. still, on a more positive note, this party’s a fun way to celebrate the new year, she concludes with a small smile.

“are you drunk?” seulgi nudges her while taking a seat on the wooden steps,  “if you puke on me, just know that i’m going to tell sooyoung.”

the introvert barely notices her best friend’s presence but acknowledges her words with a soft grunt. sooyoung didn’t seem so scary when she’s drunk. everything seems duller, like the sharp edges of the world have been rounded off. the world feels like a much nicer place when she’s less sober.

“all the more i’m going to puke on you …” she snorts slowly without moving.

“anyway, just to let you know, joohyun-unnie is single.” her best friend informs in a nonchalant tone and a casual shrug.

hearing the name of the goddess she met earlier that night sobers her up slightly, she sits up and turns to seulgi. “i– i didn’t ask!” she stammers quickly, the heat rushes to her face and she’s unsure if seulgi would notice under the dim lights, if she did, she can always blame it on the drinks she’s had.

“but you want to know,” seulgi jabs her elbow playfully into seungwan’s side while wiggling her eyebrows, “don’t think i didn’t catch you gawking at her all night long!”

seungwan opens her mouth to defend herself but no words are spoken, anything she says now will probably be used against her for the rest of her life. she’s been caught with no defense so she opts to huff indignantly instead.

seulgi rolls her eyes and sighs dramatically, “maybe you should try talking to her instead of staring like a weirdo, she looks intimidating but she’s really nice once she warms up to you.”

“seul, you do realise, i only have two friends right?”

“wrong, you made new friends tonight, so now you have more than two.”

“ugh, that’s not the point! point is, i’m never going to talk to joohyun!”

“why not?”

“when have i ever approached anyone?”

“fair point, but if she approaches you?”

“why would she approach a nerd like me? she’s never going to—”

seungwan’s interrupted mid-sentence when byulyi comes charging out of the door with a handful of boxes, hopping over the two girls and narrowly missing their heads. she’s glad she’s a little too tipsy to react because if she is, she’s sure that she would've fainted because of the near-death experience she’s just faced.

“come on, seulgi-ah! there’s only a few minutes left till the new year!” byulyi yells loudly as she runs to the middle of the empty street, “help me set these up before yong murders me!”

seulgi didn’t need to be told twice when she jumps to her feet and accompanies their drunken senior in her chaotic and probably dangerous activities. byulyi really deserves to have ‘idiot’ tattooed on her arm.

yongsun rushes out a few minutes later, yelling and chasing after the two lovable idiots who had already set up the fireworks in the middle of the street. they’re a little too far away for seungwan to pick up what they’re yelling but she catches words like ‘idiots’ and ‘dead’ from yongsun’s lips. she smiles stupidly as she watches the situation unfold, mildly aware that there is a presence standing beside her that didn’t demand her attention.

“ten! nine! eight!” she hears the voices counting down from within the house and out on the streets signalling that a new year is soon upon them.

this is the last way she’d picture herself bringing in the new year, slightly drunk after a night of socializing. to new beginnings, she supposes.

at the count of three, she sees byulyi light up the fireworks despite yongsun’s loud screams. her eyes follow the fireworks as they shoot upwards into the dark heavens, leaving a faint trail of light as they climb higher into the sky. the flares fade and it’s dark for a moment, she waits in anticipation for them to light up the night sky in all their dazzling glory.

“one!”

the cheap store bought pyrotechnics explode in a myriad of colorful lights and they’re accompanied by a series of loud booms.

when seungwan least expects it, she hears the very words she never thought she’d hear for the longest time.

“kiyub!”

time seems to slow down as the fireworks continue to go off, but her attention isn’t on them anymore. turning her head, she sees the very goddess she’s been staring at all night with her eyes shut tightly and her hands covering her ears. 

fuck, that's cute,  seungwan thinks mindlessly.

seungwan could only gaze at the girl standing beside her with a dopey smile, she could physically feel her heart melting into a puddle the longer she stared at the girl. joohyun peeks every once in a while to see if the fireworks have all gone off, like she's forgotten that she can hear when they've stopped. she looks so small and precious when she’s covering her ears like that and seungwan can't pull her eyes away. she lets out a contented sigh and is glad that she didn’t turn seulgi down, otherwise, she would’ve missed this. it's okay if joohyun never talks to her, being able to stare from afar might be a new skill she's developing. 

when the fireworks finally stopped, seungwan snaps her head forward before joohyun could notice her staring for the nth time in the night. in the distance, yongsun can be seen holding her soulmate in a chokehold all while yanking seulgi towards the house by the ear.

"ah, byulyi and seulgi have somehow done it again at this party." the beautiful girl beside her comments with a scared but amused expression on her face.

seungwan freezes at the sound of the goddess’ voice, did she hear right? her voice sounds angelic, smooth like honey and the nerd is a little in awe of how someone’s voice could sound this good. but then, a mild panic begins to set in, joohyun, the girl whose beauty has left her distracted all night, is talking to her. like forming proper sentences, like making casual conversation — with her.

“are you okay?”

oh god, she really is.

in her newfound state of sobriety, every word the goddess has said etches itself in her mind, a sudden realisation hits her.

kiyub.

her legs begin moving on their own accord and she almost sprints towards seulgi. good call on her body to escape the situation before her brain takes a trip to clown town. there's no way she's doing this now, nope! her heart is pounding too rapidly and god, she feels like throwing up. a mix of excitement and fear bubbles in the pit of her stomach and she hauls her best friend away with surprising strength and determination.

joohyun is left standing on the porch while she watches the younger girl leave with her best friend and wonders if they'll ever meet again.

“what did you do, unnie?” byulyi inquires curiously despite being dragged by the ear by her soulmate.

joohyun furrows her eyebrows and shrugs, “i just asked if she was okay."

"bae joohyun scaring someone off? seems normal." yongsun chimes in with a sarcastic smirk.

the senior rolls her eyes and attempts to hit yongsun but byulyi is much faster, getting in the way of the two before anything serious happens.

looks like this year is going to be more interesting than she thought.

Chapter Text

seungwan doesn't know how she manages to make it back to their dorm with seulgi in tow, but she miraculously manages it even in her somewhat drunken haze.

“so what’s the problem?” seulgi groans as she nurses a sprained ankle caused by her best friend while lying on seungwan's bed, “i didn’t break my ankle for nothing, did i?”

she’s been pacing ever since she’s managed to drag seulgi back to their dorm, there’s limited space for walking so she settles for stomping up and down over the same part of the room. nothing seems to calm the pounding of her heart because every time she thinks of that face, that voice — joohyun, it sends her heart racing all over again.

“i think … joohyun might be kiyub …” she squeaks nervously, as if the words will explode like a landmine if she raises her voice.

“can’t hear you, my leg is hurting!” seulgi drones, the warm and comfortable bed tempts her with sleep.

“joohyun might be kiyub.” seungwan repeats a little louder with her back facing her best friend, staring at the posters that line her roommate’s side of the room.

seulgi groans as she sits up, resting her weight on her elbows as she frowns at her best friend, “i still can’t hear you, wannie!”

“i said joohyun might be kiyub!” seungwan spins around and yells a little too loudly, the alcohol has long left her system, now she’s fuelled by the sheer horror that the very girl she’s been staring at all night is her soulmate.

oh god, joohyun might be kiyub.

the realisation sets in that this situation is very much real and extremely terrifying for an introvert like her. her attraction to joohyun makes a lot of sense now but in her defense, she’s never been attracted to anyone, so how is she to know? 

soulmates are destined to be together for life, it makes love easy but why does it feel so hard? the problem doesn’t lie with her mockery of a tattoo anymore but rather the person that she’s going to be with for the rest of her life.

did the universe make a mistake? how can someone like her be paired with someone like joohyun? she’s so — normal. even on her best days, she blends into the crowd without even trying. but joohyun? god, she’s absolutely dazzling, radiating her awe-striking beauty everywhere like she owns the place. seungwan can’t help but feel grossly inferior to the goddess that might be the one and only kiyub.

“huh? wait … joohyun as in bae joohyun? as in the joohyun who you’ve been staring at all night? that joohyun is kiyub?” she watches as seulgi processes her words, her voice rises with every rhetorical question she asks.

seungwan merely nods because saying it out loud scares her more than it should. the two best friends settle into an apprehensive atmosphere and seulgi is sitting in stunned silence, probably attempting to find the right words for this situation that feels a little too good to be true. she snorts slightly before cracking into an ecstatic smile, she looks up at seungwan expectantly, but the smile quickly fades into exasperation.

it’s obvious after a couple seconds that seungwan isn’t sure what seulgi wants from her, so the older of the two sighs and rolls her eyes, “so what happened? what did you say? how did it all happen and what does kiyub actually sound like?” she fires question after question at the poor nerd.

the introvert seems to be taken aback by the sudden interrogation and some part of her knows that the truth would leave seulgi yelling at her for the rest of the night. her shoulders rise slightly as she turns away from her best friend, “um … you know … the usual ..?”

“you didn’t talk to her, did you?” seulgi deadpans as if she didn’t see this coming already.

“what am i supposed to do? she’s just … so alluring …  do you think the universe makes mistakes when they pair people up?” seungwan sighs before panicking and questioning the authenticity of soulmate tattoos, “my god, seul, what if joohyun is not my soulmate and she just so happened to say kiyub? like you know how people with tattoos like ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ —”

seulgi merely rolls her eyes and interrupts her best friend’s pointless rambles, “wannie-ah, seriously, in what situation would anyone say kiyub?”

“i mean … joohyun did because she was startled by the fireworks … i think …” seungwan begins to justify her baseless excuse but her mind is quickly distracted by joohyun’s actions then, “my god, she was so adorable with her eyes shut and her hands covering her ears, you should’ve seen her!” her face lights up with glee before she trails off in humiliation.

seulgi shoots her best friend with a knowing smile, of course, she’s been in her shoes before. she firmly believes that though half of sooyoung is made up of spite, the other half still has charms that make her fall in love a little more every day.

“you’re a goner …”

“oh no … am i turning into you with sooyoung?” seungwan gasps dramatically, running both her hands through her hair in a panic, “i’d rather die than to become as whipped as you …”

seulgi looks at the tiny introvert with a raised eyebrow, “oh? you’re already halfway there before you’ve even spoken to her. imagine how you’ll act when she tells you she loves you, can you actually resist the most attractive senior on campus?” she mocks her little nerd of a friend mercilessly.

oh god. just thinking about joohyun’s attention on her — all the time, is too much for her feeble heart. she plops down in bed next to seulgi, lying down so she’s facing the white ceiling while her heart thrums rapidly. to be loved by bae joohyun is one title she dares not claim.

“seul-ah, what do i do?” seungwan cries out as she buries her face in her hands. the most logical thing would be to actually talk to joohyun, but the thing is, joohyun probably has no idea that the quiet girl is her soulmate. wait — she even ran from joohyun just now, shit, things might be much direr than she thought.

“don’t be an idiot, just talk to her,” seulgi shrugs as she lays back down, waving her hand in the air dismissively, “does she even know you’re her soulmate?”

“… no? i don’t remember speaking to her at all …” the little nerd sighs with a slight pout, she turns to face seulgi with worry on her face, “what if she hates me?”

“why would she hate you, wannie-ah?”

“i kinda ran from her when she tried to talk to me …”

“you what?”

“she talked to me just before i dragged you back here …”

“what the hell, wannie? you ran from your soulmate who happens to be the prettiest girl to walk this campus? she's the poster girl of this entire university for god's sake! i can’t believe you’re doing this to yourself when the universe is finally on your side!”

“help me, seul-ah! what do i do now?”

“the universe sent you joohyun and you ran! you’re beyond hopeless now!”

“please ... i won’t snitch to sooyoung you were setting fireworks off while you were drunk.”

“… fine.”

the days after learning that bae joohyun is her soulmate pass in a sluggish haze. despite asking for help, it takes no more than a day for the introvert to take her words back. but seulgi's determined to make her talk to joohyun — no take-backs. 

so, seungwan kicks off the final school term of her first year whilst undergoing a serious bout of frequency illusion thanks to the one and only bae joohyun. once she noticed the goddess, it’s almost like she’s everywhere. from the posters plastered along the corridors of her school to her explore page on instagram, joohyun was just everywhere. it leads her to wonder how she could’ve missed her striking presence everywhere. seungwan decides that it’s okay if she watches from a distance, how could she belong with someone like joohyun anyway? 

she forms an almost unnerving resolution to get joohyun out of her thoughts while seulgi figures out how she can get her best friend to say a single word to kiyub.

consulting her soulmate only makes her wrack her brains harder, sooyoung suggested that they could accidentally bump into each other and go from there. but there’s a flaw in her plans — the school of social sciences and the school of engineering are pretty much on the opposite ends of campus. it takes a ten minute shuttle ride to get from one end to the other, so accidentally bumping into each other is definitely out of the question.

she could always ask byulyi-unnie for help but the moment she brings up their now somewhat mutual friends, seungwan shuts her down instantly. and as per the nerd’s firm insistence, no one can know of kiyub’s identity until she’s actually talked to her. seulgi knows better than to betray her best friend again, she had to beg for forgiveness for weeks when she sided sooyoung after they just met.

but, there's a loophole. seulgi didn't need to tell anyone about kiyub, all she has to do is make seungwan say something in front of joohyun and the rest is up to them.

meeting up for lunch is a thing and lucky for them, in the middle of the school of social sciences and engineering lies the school of arts and design. a place where both seulgi's and byulyi's classes happened to be, it's also the perfect place to have a quiet lunch because the food there is subpar compared to the other cafeterias around the campus.

her plan is simple, tell byulyi to invite yongsun, who happens to be classmates and close friends with joohyun, for lunch, then she'll invite seungwan and they can all dine together. there’s no way seungwan could avoid talking for an entire hour, right?

fridays happen to be the only day where their schedules seem to align, so they would occasionally grab lunch together. thinking nothing of it, seungwan doesn’t suspect anything until she sees byulyi, then yongsun and finally — joohyun. the horror that's plastered on seungwan's face when she realises seulgi’s plan is almost laughable, it's a fight or flight reaction and the bear-like girl has to grab the nerd tightly to stop her from running away.

“did you tell byulyi-unnie?“ seungwan hisses in a panic as they stand in the walkway just outside the cafeteria of the arts and design school. 

seulgi shakes her head innocently,  "relax, it’s just lunch, it’s not like you haven’t met them before. plus, byulyi-unnie has been meaning to ask you out for lunch as well, i think she wants to adopt you.“ the design major’s lips tug upwards into a grin, hopefully reassuring her best friend a little.

“but, joohyun’s there too!“ the introvert whines worriedly, it’s not like she’s been overthinking the events that ensued once the new year rolled in — which led to her assuming that joohyun finds her weird, or hates her.

“what’s wrong with joohyun, wannie?“ seulgi asks as if she didn’t know joohyun is kiyub, "you have no idea how many people would die to have lunch with bae joohyun."

seungwan is on the verge of losing her shit, she can barely get through lunch with other people, but with joohyun around? you might as well nail her coffin shut. “you know exactly why, seul! i don't need to have lunch with her, i need to avoid her!“ the nerd’s face flushes and she attempts to walk away.

“you can't avoid her forever! at least say one word, so she knows it’s you, then you can work things out, okay?" seulgi reasons gently as she grips seungwan by the shoulders.

the introvert lets out an ugly whine but nods unwillingly anyway, she couldn’t run forever as much as she wants to. the design major grins widely as she links her arm with seungwan's and begins to drag her in.

the seniors have already gotten a table and byulyi, being the only one with direct line of sight of them, waves them over excitedly. "seulgi-ah, seungwan-ah, over here!" she pays the other patrons no heed as she yells across the entire cafeteria.

“is she nuts?” seungwan whispers worriedly while clenching seulgi’s arm.

the older girl lets out a chuckle and shrugs, “it’s just her thing, roll with it.”

byulyi sits across yongsun and joohyun who have turned around to greet the younger girls. seungwan manages a small wave despite her nerves and joohyun waves back with a welcoming smile. her breathing hitches and if it isn't for seulgi practically shoving her, she's sure her legs would've stopped functioning.

okay … maybe joohyun doesn't hate her. but does she find seungwan weird? maybe? she can't rule this possibility out yet.

from the way the seniors are seated, seungwan and seulgi are forced to sit across yongsun and joohyun, next to byulyi. being in the middle meant that she's effectively trapped for the entire duration of the meal, there's no way she can run now. seungwan can't even look up, because coming face to face with kiyub is too much. she focuses on her food, occasionally on the conversation but never on the girl sitting in front of her. she can’t help but wonder what joohyun’s impression of her is — shy? awkward? weird to the point she would avoid her?

needless to say, lunch with her new friends goes by agonizingly slowly but the conversations are mostly pleasant when she listens in, which is only when joohyun is talking. she still manages to catch glimpses of joohyun every once in a while, that might be the only highlight of her increasingly shitty day. the senior has her hair up in a messy bun that somehow works in her favour, round-rimmed glasses that occasionally slide down the bridge of her nose and a — shit, joohyun is looking at her.

being caught staring one too many times might just be a new skill seungwan has picked up.

oh no, oh no, oh no. she's going to think i'm a creep now, seungwan panics.

she looks away just as she notices joohyun raising her eyebrow slightly. but she's saved from flushing cheeks by byulyi placing her hand around her shoulders a little too roughly.

"ah seungwan-ah, i've been telling yongsun and joohyun how much fun you were at the party," byulyi grins cheekily,  "you're much more talkative when you're drunk."

seungwan stares blankly at the blonde-haired girl, to be fair, she doesn't remember some parts of the party. not because she blacked out or anything but in her drunken haze, she doesn’t remember much, except for the shocking discovery of kiyub.

yongsun rolls her eyes and exhales exasperatedly, "byul-ah, leave the poor girl alone, she looks painfully uncomfortable."

"oh! sorry, it's a habit!" byulyi removes her arm quickly and offers a sheepish smile as an apology.

seungwan shakes her head shyly, conveying that it's okay. her source of discomfort comes from a different person — if anything, she probably feels more comfortable with byulyi. 

"so, seungwan, how's school? seulgi never told us much about you." yongsun asks politely, it's about time they got to know seulgi's shy best friend.

seungwan looks up only to see everyone looking at her with curious eyes, she can't avoid talking now. joohyun doesn’t help as she offers her a warm smile that sends her heart racing.

nope, nope, nope! she can't do this. 

the fact that anything she says now could be the tattoo on joohyun's wrist is burned painfully into her mind and to be found out here is the last thing she wants to be. she’s on the verge of a breakdown and she looks pitifully towards seulgi for help, this situation is too far out of her comfort zone and if joohyun isn't sitting in front of her, she would've cried or ran — or both.

"wannie’s been dealing with a sore throat lately so her voice’s a little hoarse." she feels seulgi grab her clammy hands under the table reassuringly to indicate that in her time of need, her best friend will always have her back.

"oh, are you sick? did you lose your voice? poor thing." yongsun coos sympathetically, "you kids need to take better care of yourselves."

seungwan is more than grateful that seulgi threw her a lifeline, she plays along with nods and shrugs in succession to respond to yongsun.

"man, wasn't seulgi limping a few days ago?" byulyi adds on to her soulmate's list of growing concerns.

"i'm fine now, don't worry, unnies. it was just a minor sprain but all is well." seulgi reassures with her usual gummy smile.

"your sore throat must be really bad, i can make some honey and lemon tea tomorrow," joohyun offers with worry lacing her voice as she looks at seungwan, "and i can bring it over to your dorm since you should be resting."

what? 

not only is bae joohyun offering to make her tea, but to deliver it to her dorm? they barely knew each other and seungwan has been staring at her like a creep without even talking to her. she’s not only pretty but she’s so altruistic? this world is too good for someone like joohyun and seungwan can’t help but feel more and more undeserving of a soulmate like her.

"aquila hall, third floor, second last door on the left." seulgi smiles sweetly, reciting the instructions to their dorm with ease. 

this little shit bent on sending her to her grave.

seungwan squeezes and grinds the bones in seulgi's hand — she's going to get her back for this, so much for having her back.

"oh, that's not too far, i can walk there." joohyun’s eyes widen in surprise as she nods pleasantly.

byulyi whips her head to look at the goddess, "what do you mean not too far? your dorm is literally a 15-minute walk away!"

"it's not that bad, unnie, you're just being dramatic." seulgi forces a tight-lipped smile because seungwan is attempting to crush the bones in her hand.

“i am not!” byulyi defends with a pout, “it’s a long walk that nobody enjoys taking.”

“and yet you make me walk over all the time.” yongsun hums pointedly.

the conversation descends into an argument between the two unintentionally loud soulmates and the rest of the table could only watch with amusement. eventually, the seniors had to return for their classes and they called it a day.

the lunch plan flopped big time for seulgi, she's almost a little impressed that the little nerd got through lunch without speaking a single word. but then again, she feels a little guilty for putting seungwan through some unwanted social interaction. 

seulgi loves wannie with all her heart and genuinely wants the best for her, but she couldn't understand why seungwan is so adamant on not revealing herself to joohyun — is she scared of joohyun? did she think that the psychology major dislikes her? is she afraid of rejection?

soulmates aren’t always all sunshine and rainbows, some do face rejection sometimes, though it’s rare. not everyone is lucky enough to find the chosen one, so people tend to settle for the wrong pieces because to have some love is better than none at all.

to reject a love meant for you feels like the stupidest thing you could do, seulgi can never picture joohyun as someone that would reject her soulmate. if she did, it’d be her loss because seungwan’s the most amazing person she knows, even if she doesn’t feel that way about herself. also, if, for whatever reason, joohyun is to reject her best friend, her little shit of a soulmate would have a talk with the senior — sooyoung has been secretly rooting for the two to get together after seulgi showed her a picture of the pretty senior.

whatever the reason is, seulgi is going to try her damndest to get the two together. meeting her soulmate might be the best thing that’s happened to her and she wants seungwan to experience that in all her glory.

quiet seungwan is normal, calming even but a quiet and seething seungwan? absolutely terrifying. even sooyoung yelling at her feels like heaven at this point, seulgi concludes when her best friend refuses to talk to her for the rest of the day.

it carries on to the next day, even when sooyoung comes over for her usual study session with seungwan. the highschooler comes over on saturdays so seungwan can help her with studies — but not much gets done when seulgi is in the room because the younger girl is easily distracted. it’s different today, tension lingers in the air even with the tall girl’s bubbly personality.

with a shake of seulgi’s head, she understands the situation immediately, of course, seulgi would tell sooyoung everything. the giant nods sympathetically at her soulmate before deciding that she’s going to be a little nicer to seungwan today. they begin going through sooyoung’s questions and seulgi can only sulk because not only is her best friend ignoring her, her soulmate is too busy to give her the hugs and kisses she craves. the design student sighs miserably as she sketches on her bed, she hates arguing with seungwan. 

at some point, seungwan excuses herself to the bathroom and sooyoung dashes over to wrap her soulmate in a tight hug, peppering kisses on the older girl’s head. seulgi pouts as she leans into sooyoung’s warm embrace. 

“how long do you think she’ll ignore me for?” seulgi sighs sadly as she continues to draw loops in her sketchbook mindlessly.

“not for long if you continue pouting like that.” sooyoung retorts as she holds her little bear a little tighter, hoping her presence would offer some comfort.

seulgi exhales through her nostrils frustratedly,  “should i not do anything then? i mean … i just want her to talk to joohyun …”

“no, i think you’re just trying to be a good friend, baby,” sooyoung shrugs, knowing seungwan’s personality, she wouldn’t stay mad for long, especially if it came to seulgi, “she’ll come around eventually.”

seulgi hums softly as she hears the flushing of the toilet and the two soulmates split at the speed of light after squeezing in a quick kiss — seungwan forbids them to do any of the gross couple things while she’s supposed to be tutoring sooyoung and the last thing seulgi wants is to piss her off even more. the nerd steps out of the toilet and gets back to the grind, much to sooyoung’s displeasure. seulgi feels her stomach grumbling and decides she could probably get seungwan to forgive her with her favourite meal. 

“i’m going to get lunch.” seulgi declares softly while putting on her hoodie.

sooyoung shoots her a small smile and nods, “you know what i like.”

“wannie, do you want anything?” the older girl asks with uncertainty, hoping for a response, even a nod would suffice.

seungwan ignores her friend easily as she continues to explain the questions to sooyoung and seulgi leaves the room, defeated and hungry for some tteokbokki. 

much to the introvert’s surprise, sooyoung is putting in more effort today, most days she’d lose focus after an hour or two but they’re nearing the three hour mark and the highschooler is answering each question with precision and ease. seungwan chalks it up to her ignoring seulgi — sooyoung probably knows everything, but she appreciates the effort nonetheless.

their focused silence is broken shortly by two soft knocks on the door, seungwan eyes the door with contempt, whoever it is, just broke sooyoung's impeccable focus. 

another two knocks are heard and seungwan gets up with annoyance — whoever it is better had a damn good reason because sooyoung is unlikely ever going to pay attention like that again. besides, seulgi had keys and nobody drops by except sooyoung. maybe it's the resident assistant looking for seulgi to help design some posters for an event, she grumbles mindlessly as she approaches the door.

just as her hand is on the doorknob, ready to yell at whoever’s on the other side — her brain is reminded of joohyun. it couldn't be, could it? there's no way the goddess really made her tea and is delivering it to her. 

another knock leaves her frozen in her spot and she hears sooyoung get up from her chair with an exasperated sigh. "what's wrong, unnie?" the highschooler nudges her a little too roughly, sending her even closer to the door. 

seungwan jumps back instantly, she doesn't have time to give sooyoung a piece of her mind when all that separates her and bae joohyun is a thin wooden door. the nerd whips around quickly and grabs sooyoung’s arms tightly, she’s panicking and the least the other girl could do is cover for her, "get the door, if it's joohyun, tell her i'm sick. if it's not, tell whoever to go away.”

sooyoung snorts at her frantic senior and strolls over as a voice calls out from the other side of the door, "seungwan, are you in?"

yup, it's definitely joohyun's voice. this is where her soul leaves her body for a joohyun-less plain of existence.

sooyoung watches as the nerd scrambles like a rat looking for a suitable hiding spot, “under the bed, unnie, i’m opening the door now.” the tall girl sighs at her helpless friend. 

seungwan dives under her bed frame, there's barely enough space as she keeps a couple of boxes under her bed but she makes it work. the sheets drape over the frame so she remains obscured as the highschooler opens the door. her heart continues to throb with adrenaline and the fear of being caught by joohyun is overwhelming.

"oh, hello," she hears joohyun ask with a little surprise, “are you seungwan's roommate?”

sooyoung replies casually, "i'm sooyoung, seulgi's soulmate."

she hears a soft ‘ah’ from the goddess, "nice to meet you, i'm joohyun. one of seulgi's friends, i suppose." 

"byulyi-unnie's friends, right?" sooyoung hums softly, feigning ignorance, "she's mentioned you before." 

of course, sooyoung would try to make casual talk to prolong her suffering. typical sooyoung behaviour. not to mention, the way she’s talking to joohyun made it very clear that she knew a lot about the senior.

"yes, we worked on a project together," the goddess responds politely before shifting the conversation back to the introvert, "so is seungwan in?"

seungwan shuts her eyes and clenches her fists, praying with all of her might that the demonic highschooler would cover for her. the pause doesn’t help the anxiety that’s building in her chest and she has half the mind to crawl out from under the sheets to stop sooyoung from continuing to interact with joohyun.

“seungwan-unnie’s asleep now, she’s not feeling well.”

the words bring floods of relief and seungwan feels like she can breathe — well not exactly, considering she’s under her dusty bed frame with nothing but cardboard boxes for company. she rubs at her nose to hold back a sneeze that's threatening to expose her, making a mental note to tidy up at some point.

"i see," joohyun’s tone carries a little disappointment, "i made her some honey and lemon tea, could you get her to drink it when she wakes up?"

"will do, unnie, do you want to leave your number so she can text you when she's better?" the highschooler asks innocently though seungwan knows she has some underlying intentions that will probably make her life even more miserable.

there’s a slight pause for a moment as if joohyun is considering the offer, "okay, do you have a piece of paper?"

she hears sooyoung shuffle over to the desk and she peeks out from under the bed, the nerd glares at the taller girl warningly. “park sooyoung, don’t you dare!“ seungwan hisses softly but it’s not like she can look intimidating when she’s cowering under her bed.

sooyoung rolls her eyes at her unnie and sticks out her tongue cheekily. seungwan is tempted to launch rebuttals but her nose begins to itch and before she knows it, she lets a small sneeze escape.

“fine, loser.” sooyoung snorts before heading back to the door and for a moment, seungwan is hopeful that she’s succeeded. but the highschooler proves her wrong instantly, "you know what, lend me your phone i'll save her contact for you."

god, if she had the gift of height, she would've murdered park sooyoung already.

there’s silence for a while, sooyoung is probably keying her number into joohyun’s phone. after the whole threatening incident, sooyoung never wanted to save seungwan’s number because she refused to befriend nerds like her. so out of spite, sooyoung has the nerd’s number etched in her brain and if she needs academic help, that’ll be the first number she calls.

“son seungwan.”

seungwan muffles a soft squeak as her heart threatens to stop at the sound of bae joohyun calling her by her full name. for a moment she’s worried that she’s been caught but relaxes when she realises it’s probably what sooyoung saved her contact name as.

"i'll make sure she finishes the tea, thank you, unnie."

"thank you, sooyoung. it was nice meeting you, i'll get going now."

"bye unnie, take care."

as soon as sooyoung shuts the door, seungwan is crawling out from under the bed with an intent to kill. the highschooler winks deviously as she places a thermos flask on the study table.

“yah! park sooyoung! what the hell was that?“ seungwan yells as she dusts her clothes off and wrinkles her nose that’s now sensitive from all the dust.

she steps closer to the taller girl who’s seemingly relaxed and has returned to her seat at the table. 

sooyoung shrugs in amusement, “she got your number, unnie, shouldn’t you be thanking me instead?“

“thank you? why would i thank you? you should be glad i’m not murdering you, you little shit!” seungwan fumes as she smacks the younger girl on the arm.

the highschooler cries out in pain and shock is plastered across her face, “stop attacking me, unnie! i’m doing you a favour here, if you don’t want to talk to her, at least you don’t have to text her first!“

“oh …“ seungwan says dumbly as she stands in the middle of the room, looking at sooyoung with a little remorse, “sorry, sooyoung-ah.“

sooyoung hands over the flask with a cocky smirk, “pour me a cup.”

“i’m your unnie and i have to pour you tea?” seungwan responds incredulously while taking the flask anyway. 

“i will accept your apology with a cup of tea.“ sooyoung declares as she returns to the questions they had been working on before joohyun’s interruptions.

seungwan groans while she stares at the warm flask in her hands, it’s just like any other flask except its only distinct feature is the slightly faded bunny sticker on the side of the bottle. she can’t believe she’s holding joohyun’s flask, with tea that she made. as worried as she is about joohyun having her number now, she still can't help but let a grin slip.

“fine … just to be clear, i’m doing it because i want to apologize, not because you asked me to.”

“yeah, yeah, hurry up, i still have a few more questions.”

when seulgi finally returns to the room with lunch, seeing sooyoung and seungwan sipping on some tea makes her understand sooyoung’s string of questionable emojis. her soulmate had sent her a text without any explanation and the design student couldn’t decipher it even if her life depends on it.

seungwan accepts her apology meal to seulgi’s delight, but it doesn't mean that she’s talking just yet — she’s just not one to reject a meal, especially her favourite meal, when her stomach is growling. 

the silence lasts until sooyoung has to leave and the two best friends are alone again. 

“can we talk? i want to apologize.” seulgi finally asks when the tension in the room becomes unbearable.

the introvert takes a deep breath and exhales, she’s been waiting for seulgi to offer an apology. but as much as she’s angry at seulgi, she’s more than aware her best friend only has her best interests at heart, so how could she remain mad at the girl who’s currently pouting with puppy eyes?

“we should talk.” seungwan gives in with a soft exhale as she turns to face her best friend who’s currently sulking on her own bed.

seulgi’s eyes light up at the sound of that and she rushes over to embrace her little nerd tightly in a side hug. seungwan untangles herself from the older girl's arms and opts to lie on her bed, staring at the ceiling. she sighs softly, trying to piece together her thoughts that were the result of many sleepless nights of overthinking.

“okay, i know you’re probably mad at me and you have every right to be, but all i want is to help you,” seulgi sits in seungwan’s warm chair, shifting it a little closer to her best friend, “there are just some things i don’t understand.”

“what things?” seungwan questions as she rolls over to face her best friend, resting her head on her arms.

seulgi frowns while adjusting her position to be a little more comfortable, with both her legs on the chair, she hugs her knees and rests her head on her arms. “i don’t get why you’re not talking to joohyun, does she scare you or something?”

the introvert’s gaze drops to the carpeted floor, being scared isn’t the right word though there is some reluctance to see the goddess. shrugging slightly, she responds softly, “i’m not, seul, i- … i just don’t want to see her.”

“but, don’t you want her to be your soulmate? do you not like her or something?” seulgi’s frown turns a little more dejected at her incomprehension.

seungwan shakes her head slowly, “no … i like her … or i think i do, because she makes my heart beat so fast even when i know nothing but her name — is this what infatuation feels like?”

“i’m pretty sure you guys are soulmates because that’s what i felt when i first saw sooyoung,” seulgi reaches out to move a stray strand of hair from her face, “so what’s keeping you from her, wan-ah?”

“i don’t know, seul … she’s so nice and pretty and now she’s made tea for me? it just feels too good to be true, y’know? what if i talk to her and she’s not my soulmate?” seungwan mumbles in distress, half aware of how miserable she sounds for someone in her position.

“then it means she’s not kiyub and you just have a big fat crush on the pretty senior, which is normal because that’s like half the school population,” seulgi reassures simply, “but wouldn’t it be amazing if she’s actually your soulmate?”

seungwan feels like crying, she doesn’t know why but the idea of having a soulmate scares her a little. she never anticipated that this day would come this quickly and she doesn’t feel ready to be loved. maybe it’s because of how closed off she usually is, maybe it’s because she’s afraid they’ll be like everyone else who doesn’t seem to get her jokes, or enjoy her music, or her as a whole.

for the longest time, she's been content with her sole friendship with seulgi. seulgi is familiar, seulgi is easy, seulgi won't hurt her. joohyun feels like she's going to be everything but that, unfamiliar and terrifying and seungwan isn't certain that she wants to go through all of that just yet.

“what are you afraid of, wannie?” her best friend asks softly, reaching out to pat her head gently.

the introvert reaches for her pillow and hugs it little tighter even though she knows she'll be safe with seulgi. there’s nothing is comforting about having to open up pandora's box filled with her worries and insecurities.

"i don't think she'll like someone like me …" seungwan admits softly, finally looking up at her confidant.

it's heartbreaking for seulgi to hear how lowly seungwan thinks of herself, if only she could see what seulgi sees. amazingly smart, passionate, sweet, what's not to love? seulgi moves out of her chair to squat just in front of seungwan, cupping her cheeks lightly, she forces the girl to look at her.

"yeah, she won't," seulgi begins to speak, she's not going to let her precious little nerd beat herself up like this, "because she'll love you. she'll fall head over heels for you and in the moments where you can't love yourself, she will." 

a tear pushes its way past her lashes and lands on seulgi's hand, the design major wipes them away easily with her thumb and continues to speak. "she's going to love you more than me, she's going to laugh at your bad jokes, play your games even if she doesn't know how to, binge-watch anime with you because she knows how excited you are to finally be able to watch everything at one go.”

seungwan begins to tear up as a surge of warmth fills her chest, she really lucked out with her friendship with seulgi. 

the older girl carries on in her affirmative talk, patting the smaller girl reassuringly, “she will see things that you don't, pieces that you try to hide, pieces that you don't like, she'll love them all, because those pieces are a part of you. you are an amazing person, wannie, and kiyub will love all of you."

at the end of her long speech, seungwan is sniffling hard. she hops off the bed and lands in seulgi's warm embrace. her best friend holds her tightly, cooing softly while stroking her head. the introvert’s arms find themselves around seulgi’s neck and she feels so grateful to be loved.

"you know how much sooyoung and i argue," seulgi smiles at the thought of her soulmate, "we can't always see eye to eye, but i know at the end of the day, there's no one else i want to give my love to — apart from you at least."

seungwan chuckles softly while her face is buried in seulgi's chest, there's still so many thoughts in her head threatening to consume her. though hearing these words from seulgi is comforting, it doesn't do much to dissipate her worries.

"do you ever feel like sooyoung is too good for you?" the nerd asks softly, voice slightly muffled from resting her cheek against her best friend's chest.

the bear-like girl nods, stroking her as they sit on the floor in each other's arms. "when she gives me cuddles or gets me icecream without me asking, it's always the little things that make me feel like maybe god really did send me an angel with the personality of a demon.”

this earns a quiet laugh from the smaller girl, "the world would end if park sooyoung was nice."

"it would," seulgi agrees with a small giggle, "but it wouldn't if you talked to joohyun."

seungwan sighs at the sound of her soulmate's name, "i don’t know, seul … i’m scared she won’t like me even if she is my soulmate.”

“don’t you think you’re judging her a little too quickly?” the taller girl sighs softly as she continues to hold her best friend, “you see joohyun as an ethereal being of perfection instead of who she really is. do you even know what she’s like? no, you don’t. you’re afraid of the joohyun you have created in your head, not who she actually is.”

ah.

seulgi’s words make a lot of sense, her best friend has hit the bull’s eye on all her worries, breaking them down into digestible fragments of feelings. sometimes you just need someone to point things out to you, even if they are so obvious.

a weight is lifted off her chest as she tightens her arms around seulgi and lets the tears fall freely once again. to live in a world without seulgi is nothing short of a nightmare, but no words could fully express her gratitude and love for this sweet girl she calls her best friend. but seungwan knows seulgi can feel it all.

“i will talk to her … at some point …”

“i know you will, i’m only here to knock some sense into you because you deserve more than just my love.”

“but your love has been more than enough.”

“you can never have too much love.”

seungwan buries her face in the crook of seulgi’s neck and the two best friends sit in silence for the longest time, like they used to before and for many years to come.

Chapter Text

with the arrival of the new year, it also meant that joohyun's time at school is coming to an end. it's a bittersweet feeling to finally see the end of her gruelling education but she's certain she's not going to miss it any time soon.

her final year — sounds a lot more exciting than it should. perhaps it's due to yongsun’s constant yapping about her future. whatever it is, she's certain that the initial thrill of starting a new year would die down when it's exam season. classes kick off relatively smoothly, yongsun is in every class with her, considering they had picked almost all the same ones, at pretty much the same time slots too.

joohyun quickly settles into a casual routine, thanks to some strategic preplanning, she doesn't have any lectures on wednesdays and fridays, leaving her with the illusion of having plenty of free time. between attending lectures and studying, she'd occasionally help byulyi with her personal photography projects as well. that keeps her busy enough, yet she still finds herself thinking about the quiet girl from the party.

it doesn't happen often, only when she's unfocused, her thoughts seem to gravitate to seungwan. there's a burning desire at the back of her head to get to know her and it's strange because joohyun is not one to be interested in another — it’s usually the other way around.

but eventually, her interest slowly diminishes and seungwan takes a backseat in her mind. that is until byulyi invites her to join them for lunch, as per seulgi's request. she thinks nothing much of it and accepts, it wouldn’t hurt to make a few more friends before she finally leaves the academic life behind — at least that's the excuse she hides behind.

and of course, making friends includes taking care of them when they're unwell. hence, she offered to make tea for seungwan.

there's absolutely nothing wrong with showing concern for a friend.

"are you okay, hyun-ah?" yongsun presses the back of her hand to joohyun's forehead with concern in her eyes.

her roommate has been hovering around her ever since she strolled onto the kitchen. she's perfectly fine and healthy, on the contrary to yongsun's assumptions.

swatting her hands away, the senior furrows her brows in annoyance. "i said i'm fine, yong. what's up with you?" she huffs as she moves about in the tiny kitchen.

"i should be asking you," yongsun retorts while settling into a stool at the counter, "you're making tea for seungwan."

joohyun shrugs casually even though she knows yongsun is suspicious, "and your point being?" she hums quietly, looking for ingredients littered in various cupboards.

"you don't make tea for anyone, other than me, but that's because i ask for it." her roommate sighs in exasperation, "what spell has she got you under?"

frankly, joohyun wishes she had an answer. making tea was one thing, but making tea at 10 in the morning on a saturday? no wonder yongsun thinks she's lost her mind. 

"i'm doing this because i want to, stop questioning it." joohyun says firmly and busies herself with tea making.

"and you're going to deliver it?"

"i am going to deliver it."

"where's her dorm?"

"aquila, third floor, second last door on the left." joohyun recites with ease.

this earns a loud gasp from yongsun which startles the smaller girl.

"what?" joohyun clicks her teeth in annoyance as she threatens to smack her roommate with a spoon.

the other girl merely cackles and raises her hands in defense, "i have never seen you do this for anyone, to think that the one and only bae joohyun would be this kind to a stranger."

joohyun rolls her eyes and returns her attention to the tea, "if you wanted me to make tea for you too, you could've just asked."

"okay then, make some for me."

"no." 

"what the heck? yah, bae joohyun …"

"i didn't say i would agree."

"i hope she's asleep when you deliver the tea."

"who would be asleep now?"

"you! you don't get up till it's 1 on saturdays!"

in her defense, 10 am is much too early for anyone to function, hence most of her classes are closer to or in the afternoon. she’s a huge fan of sleeping in, especially on the weekends unless byulyi requires her for a morning shoot — which is beyond awful and she detests them with a passion.

mornings are evil, period.

bae joohyun isn’t and never will be a morning person, but making tea for a shy girl she barely talked to at a party is nothing but a tiny sacrifice, her precious sleep could come later.

"point taken, but also ignored." joohyun notes with a light scoff.

yongsun lets out a loud exhale and plants her cheek on the surface of the counter. joohyun merely regards her dramatic roommate with an amused glance before resuming her juicing of lemons.

"seriously, what's up?" yongsun's tone shifts along with the atmosphere to one that's plagued with genuine concern.

joohyun raises her shoulders but doesn't offer a verbal response, which only seems to make her roommate think she's hiding something. how could she hide anything when she doesn't even know what it is exactly?

"if you don't want to say it, just tell me and i'll leave you alone." the older girl huffs as she sits up with a frown.

"i'm not hiding anything, yong," joohyun clarifies as she turns to face her roommate and close friend fully, "i don't know why i'm doing this either."

yongsun scrutinizes her momentarily before giving in, in all the years they've known each other, at least she could tell when joohyun is speaking the truth.

"well, does it feel like you need to?" she attempts to dissect joohyun's feelings slowly.

"not at all, i just want to do something nice for her." joohyun shrugs in response.

her roommate hums quietly, "interesting …"

joohyun looks pointedly at yongsun, hoping that she’d get the hint to let the matter go. when her roommate waves a hand for her to elaborate, she draws a line. talking or thinking any harder would probably leave her more confounded than she’d like to be, conversations like these should be saved for twilight instead of at 10 in the morning.

“would you just drop it now? i will give you answers if there are any.”

“yes, miss bae.”

letting out a dramatic sigh, yongsun finally takes her leave and lets joohyun do as her heart desires.

waking up that early was an unnecessary sacrifice because joohyun didn’t start the walk to the aquila hall till it’s well past noon. 

she was a little too enthusiastic about tea making or rather, nervous about meeting seungwan again. they’ve had two maybe three interactions in total, though none of them were direct, which is perplexing for her considering her renown on campus — most people would jump at the chance to talk to her. and those people talk a lot more than she likes.

but seungwan isn’t like most people, joohyun isn’t even sure if she’s heard the younger girl talk. she’s an enigma to say the least, an odd piece that didn’t fit in a puzzle of her world yet despite all that, the senior still finds herself gravitating towards her.

perhaps opposites do attract, but that’s a problem for another day.

the 15 minute walk to aquila didn’t feel that long when she’s buried in her thoughts, before she knew it, she’s already standing at the entrance of the hall. she makes her way up the unfamiliar stairs, reciting seulgi’s instructions like a mantra and before long, she finds herself standing outside what is supposedly seungwan’s dorm.

there’s no indication that this is the correct room thanks to the doodles on the chalkboard at the side of the door. generally, most residents, like her and yongsun, aren’t gifted in the arts, so they’d just scrawl their names on the complimentary board. 

a squirrel and a bear, how adorable. but on the other hand, how is she supposed to know who those are meant to represent?

wrestling with her uncertainty, she pushes it to the back of her head and raps her knuckles against the wooden door. shifting her weight from one leg to another, she waits in anticipation, making use of the flask she’s carrying to warm her hands up. when no one answers the door, joohyun wonders if she’s really made a mistake or if the occupants merely missed it. she knocks yet again, this time a little more forcefully, no harm is done if she tries a couple more times.

straining her ears, she manages to pick up some shuffling coming from the other side. this time, she’s confident that she’ll finally be able to have a proper conversation with seungwan. her eagerness fades the longer she’s kept waiting so she knocks one final time.

“seungwan, are you in?” joohyun calls out, hoping that she’d get a response at least.

footsteps nearing the door indicates to her that seungwan is finally answering her, but when the door swings open to reveal someone other than the shy girl, joohyun is a little surprised but also disheartened.

gathering her manners, she greets the tall girl in front of her with a polite smile. “oh, hello, are you seungwan’s roommate?”

a mutual judgement takes place between the two strangers when the girl contemplates her for a moment. she looks young, a little too young to be a university student, joohyun notes.

“i’m sooyoung, seulgi’s soulmate.” the tall girl finally speaks while leaning against the frame of the door.

joohyun nods understandingly, it makes a lot of sense now that she thinks about it — seulgi being able to give her instructions to seungwan’s dorm so easily, they’re roommates. "nice to meet you, i'm joohyun. one of seulgi's friends, i suppose." she introduces herself quickly.

upon conversing with sooyoung and finding out that seungwan is asleep, she can’t help but curse yongsun’s foul mouth. but at the same time, she couldn’t help but worry that seungwan could be down with something a little more serious.

"do you want to leave your number so she can text you when she's better?"

a proposition that draws her out of her thoughts instantly — a perfect solution for her problem has just presented itself. 

joohyun nods, biting her lower lip to hide a grin. "okay, do you have a piece of paper?" she asks as calmly as possible.

sooyoung excuses herself and disappears from sight. in times like these, she's glad she's managed to build a cold and distant persona thanks to her popularity, it really comes in handy when she needs to conceal her emotions.

it doesn't take long for sooyoung to return and ask for her phone. "you know what, lend me your phone i'll save her contact for you." she smiles sweetly at the senior.

joohyun doesn't think much of it when she watches sooyoung save a new contact seamlessly. she doesn't think much of it when she bids sooyoung goodbye. she doesn't think much of it until she's back in her dorm, lying in bed and staring at the new number in her contact list.

son seungwan. 

she doesn't think much of anything, but here she is, mind filled with thoughts of son seungwan. she likes the way it sounds in her head, the way it rolls off her tongue so effortlessly.

son seungwan.

joohyun spends the whole day struggling to compose a message — a problem that she's never had to deal with because she never texts first. 

she decides it'll be best to consult someone who doesn't know anything, yongsun would never get off her back if she asked for advice on texting. considering that she didn’t have many close friends that she feels comfortable baring her heart out to, her younger cousin is, sadly,  her next best alternative. but then there’s the issue of dealing with her partially infuriating teenage sass.

yet another sacrifice she’s willing to make for seungwan.

joohyun:

yah kim yerim

10:39 pm

how do i text someone for the first time?

10:39 pm

yerimie:

??

10:40 pm

just do what you're doing now??

10:40 pm

joohyun:

e_e … i meant like how should i start a conversation

10:40 pm

yerimie:

don't tons of people text you everyday? just reread their messages

10:40 pm

well, she had a fair point but it's not the answer that joohyun is looking for. she doesn’t have to think hard about coming up with an appropriate bribe to get the advice she wants. 

joohyun:

i'll buy you lunch

10:41 pm

yerimie:

done

10:41 pm

it's not that hard, unnie, just type what you wanna say

10:41 pm

joohyun:

but what if they don't reply?

10:42 pm

yerimie:

sounds like a you problem, suck it up

10:42 pm

joohyun:

yah kim yerim!!

10:42 pm

yerimie:

how about you send that text first before you worry about not getting a reply hmm?

10:43 pm

would ask for more context but i’m in a game

10:43 pm

let me know how it goes

10:43 pm

joohyun:

e_e … i hope you lose

10:43 pm

tossing her phone aside, she lets out a frustrated exhale while burying her face in her pillow. everything about this is just out of character for her and she doesn’t know what to make of it, or what to do and how she should act. she could just go with the flow as she usually does but her gut is telling her that she should be a little more spontaneous.

she’s never really trusted her gut, but maybe she should, things always worked out one way or another.

concocting various scenarios in her head, she wears herself out from planning the supposedly perfect first message. sleep comes swiftly and texting seungwan turns into a problem for future joohyun.

sunday mornings are usually when seungwan has her me time, a short half an hour just before seulgi crawls out of bed so they can grab breakfast together. there she lay, bundled in bed with her laptop, about to start a new episode of anime, when she feels a vibration from somewhere on her bed. putting her laptop aside and lifting the duvet, she pats around her bed for her missing phone to no avail. she feels another vibration and manages to track it, it’s hidden under her pillow for some reason. fumbling to unlock the screen, seungwan sees that she has two new messages from an unknown number. 

unknown:

hello, it's joohyun

9:07 am

unknown: 

sooyoung gave me your number yesterday, i just wanted to check to see if you're feeling better

9:07 am

seungwan almost tosses her phone out the window after reading the message but she opts to slam it down on the soft sheets instead. heat rushes to her cheeks and she lets out an excited yet muffled squeal. unable to contain the wide smile on her face, she picks her phone up to reread the two short messages again. 

screw anime — she's not about to watch a bunch of 2D characters when bae joohyun, the goddess herself, is texting her. she thinks for a moment for an appropriate response and luckily for her, she's much more articulate in the virtual world.

seungwan:

hi, unnie. thank you for your concern!

9:09 am

i’m feeling much better thanks to the tea which was delicious :)

9:10 am

when should i return your flask?

9:10 am

she could flirt in the digital space but flirting in real life? it’d be a miracle if she could even get a proper sentence out. 

while waiting for a response, she taps on joohyun's profile, saving her number in the process. joohyun still hadn't come online so seungwan takes a moment to check out her display picture — it's a picture of her with bangs, dressed in a pink knitted sweater with her hands covering the lower half of her face, only revealing her huge bright eyes. it's probably an older picture because the joohyun now doesn't have bangs.

smiling contentedly, she reads the psychology major's bio.

'hit me up and i'll beat you up 🤨'

seungwan's smile turns into one of amusement, the goddess having such a threatening bio feels almost too jarring from the current impression that she has of her. plus, the idea of joohyun beating anyone up is comical, to say the least, they are about the same height and seungwan has never won a physical fight before — at least against sooyoung.

as she tabs back to the conversation, she sees that joohyun is now online and typing. a surge of anticipation rushes through her system, she doesn't get to text new people very often and being approached by the one person she wants to talk to is a little scary and thrilling at the same time.

with everything that seulgi said last night, she doesn't feel as afraid of the goddess. the fear has turned more into curiosity at this point and seungwan just wants to know what she's really like. besides, texting is easier, she doesn't feel as pressured or flustered knowing that she can edit her messages easily. it's so much harder to communicate in the real world, why couldn't everyone just text instead? 

joohyun-unnie:

i'm glad to hear that ^_^

9:13 am

i can always make more if you really like it

9:13 am

no worries about the flask, i can drop by sometime next week to get it or whenever's convenient.

9:13 am

seungwan feels her excitement bubbling and she wants to wake seulgi up so her best friend can spazz out with her about the pretty senior texting her. she's unable to wipe the huge smile off her face as she continues to text joohyun, her excitement fuels her bravery and suddenly it's like she had nothing to fear in the first place.

seungwan:

okay! i'll make sure it's sparkling clean before i return it to you.

9:13 am

cute sticker too by the way.

9:14 am

joohyun-unnie:

hehehehe it was a gift from yongsjn

9:14 am

yongsun*

9:14 am

anyway, shouldn't you be sleeping in? it's a sunday~

9:15 am

seungwan:

i usually get breakfast with seulgi on sundays.

9:15 am

which is also whenever she decides to wake up 😐

9:15 am

joohyun-unnie:

sounds like your breakfast might turn into brunch hmmm~

9:16 am

seungwan:

sigh 😔

9:16 am

why are you up this early on a sunday?

9:16 am

joohyun-unnie:

i was a little worried that you'd might still be sick

9:16 am

i wanted to text you last night but i was afraid you might already be asleep

9:17 am

so i thought i’d check in on you in the morning instead

9:17 am

seungwan's eyes widen and her eyes read the message again, she's a little astonished at how concerned joohyun is for her wellbeing. what did she do to warrant such kindness? it feels odd, almost foreign, that anyone would be this kind to her, let alone notice her in the first place.

seungwan:

sorry for worrying you

9:17 am

you can head back to bed now that you know I'm fine.

9:17 am

joohyun-unnie:

it's okay, yongsun and i are going to get breakfast too

9:18 am

maybe we'll bump into you and seulgi hehe

9:18 am

okay, breakfast is cancelled. there's no way she's going to risk meeting joohyun for some bacon and pancakes. even though she says she will talk to the senior, she just doesn't feel ready yet. for now, she's fine if they can talk through text. it's an equally valid way of communication and a step up from straight-up running from her.

seungwan:

seulgi isn't up yet 😩😩

9:18 am

have an inkling that we might be having lunch instead 😔

9:19 am

joohyun-unnie:

do you want to join us for breakfast instead? you can also get something for seulgi when she wakes up.

9:19 am

seungwan:

thanks for the offer, but it's alright, i’d feel bad if i ditched Seulgi.

9:19 am

go enjoy your breakfast, unnie.

9:19 am

joohyun-unnie:

okayy~

9:20 am

seungwan:

:)

9:20 am

11 minutes. 

she’s spent 11 whole minutes talking to joohyun. that’s gotta count for something, right? she’s making progress, not that she deserves an award for such a minuscule achievement but something along the lines of a pat on her back would suffice. she could see herself working up the courage to talk to joohyun in real life at this rate.

seungwan hears a loud yawn coming from the bed across hers and sees the figure under the sheets moving before emerging with a stretch. looks like it’s time to unleash her frantic thoughts upon her poor best friend. 

being up before noon on both days of the weekend is absolute torture for joohyun.

flitting in and out of sleep through the night makes her even more exhausted, but getting up now would probably save her body clock from being ruined. reaching for her phone, she checks the time. she expected it to be early but not this early, it's barely 9 in the morning and she's up — not something she'd like to turn into a habit.

blinking tiredly, she navigates through her social media feeds, hoping it'll wake her up. it does the exact opposite, dropping her phone on her face though — that woke her up instantly.

sobering up, joohyun concludes that now would be a perfect time to text seungwan. a simple hi would suffice, why did she even bother fantasizing about a multitude of elaborate scenarios that would never happen anyway? speaking to yerim feels like overkill too, on top of that, she has to treat that brat to lunch — yet another problem for future joohyun.

nothing is too daunting when you're half awake, so she shoots son seungwan a text. and as with all risky texts, she throws her phone aside upon hitting the send button. joohyun plops back down in bed and lets out a loud sigh. seungwan aside, she had some work that needs to be done today which is unpleasant to think about at 9 in the morning.

a knock on her door draws her out from her thoughts and she turns towards it. “come in!” she calls out after she lets a loud yawn escape.

yongsun pokes her head in and surveys the room with a tired look, “breakfast?”

“are you cooking?”

“no.”

“munch?”

“munch.”

“i’ll be up soon.”

“i’m killing you if you fall asleep.”

“mhmm.”

the door clicks shut and she hears yongsun shuffling to the bathroom to wash up. she lets out another exhale before she’s finally ready to separate herself from her warm sheets, but a buzz from her phone signals that she’s received a new notification. reaching for her phone, she looks at the notifications popping up on her lock screen.

son seungwan

3 unread messages

she lays back down with a huge grin, ensuring that she’s comfy before opening the messages.

texting people is something joohyun is pretty decent at, though this conversation with seungwan feels a lot different from her usual ones. usual ones where she doesn’t really try because short replies lead to short conversations. it’s a different ballgame when she’s texting someone she’s actually interested in, talking doesn’t feel as gruelling as it normally does.

a disappointingly short conversation with this enigma of a girl puts her on cloud nine though she’s not any closer to solving the mystery behind her attraction. pushing her attraction aside, there are more pressing matters at hand, like yongsun stomping loudly towards her room.

"what do you mean breakfast is cancelled?" seulgi groans while she texts sooyoung from the comfort of her bed.

"joohyun-unnie and yongsun-unnie are going to grab breakfast together and there's no way i'm talking to her just yet." seungwan repeats in exasperation, she's said this twice now and her best friend just doesn't seem to be paying attention.

seulgi taps away on her phone with a smile on her face, " okay, but sooyoungie asks how do you know?"

the introvert rolls her eyes before going into their group chat to send a couple of angry emojis. "you would've known if you had paid attention to me earlier." she sighs as she reads a response from sooyoung.

seulgi's demon:

🤪🤪🤪

9:26 am

"yah! stop texting park sooyoung!" seungwan tosses her pillow at her best friend who has shockingly good reflexes, "do you want to know or not?"

seulgi chuckles as she puts her phone down, turning to face her roommate with a cheeky grin. "yes, yes, boss, go on." she nods while resting her head on her hand.

"joohyun-unnie texted me just now to check on me," seungwan starts slowly to make sure the design student is actually listening this time, "and then we talked for a little and she said she's going to get breakfast with yongsun-unnie."

seulgi watches the introvert talk with glee and her joy is infectious, a shit-eating grin makes its way onto her face and she can't help but feel a little proud. “so she’s joohyun-unnie now, huh?” she teases her little nerd lightly.

seungwan gapes momentarily before retorting, "what else am i supposed to call her? pretty senior who gave me her hot lemon water?"

the design major cracks up as she plops back down on her bed, "you know how that sounds right?"

"don’t start, i regret it already." 

this is exactly why talking to kiyub now would be a disaster, her brain would probably malfunction and she'd blurt out something stupid. and god forbid she'd give someone that gorgeous a stupid tattoo.

"well, i'm glad you're making progress at least, though i expected a much bigger reaction."

"you were texting sooyoung throughout it all, i got tired after you stopped listening for the second time."

"sorry!" the older girl exclaims as she hops out of her bed to tackle seungwan into a hug, "but son seungwan, you just might talk to kiyub someday!"

the smaller girl struggles initially but surrenders soon enough, well aware of the fact that she could never overpower seulgi. 

"we're still going to get breakfast because sundays are the only days where munch makes those fluffy pancakes that you like." the bear-like girl declares while squishing the little nerd.

"what part of not wanting to bump into kiyub do you not understand?" seungwan sighs uselessly as her limbs are being restricted by seulgi's weight.

"the wanting part," the design student takes a chance to mess up her bangs and grins, "and breakfast is on me if you say yes, we have to celebrate this win!"

seulgi knows her too well, the fluffy pancakes are tempting yet the chance of bumping into joohyun is equally as intimidating.

"stop calculating the statistics, you dummy. if we do see them, i will let you run." seulgi clicks her teeth as she crawls off to wash up.

free breakfast is always nice and so is being able to run from kiyub, this is a win-win situation for son seungwan. besides, there are plenty of eateries around campus, there's no way they'd bump into each other.

"fluffy pancakes it is!"

it's a little after ten when the two seniors finally step out of their dorm, catching the poster girl of the entire campus on a sunday morning is a rarity. so of course, joohyun took her time to get ready, much to yongsun's displeasure. 

the weather is cold but bearable as they make their way to the hub, the heart of the entire university. the hub has mostly cafes and restaurants but also shops and amenities catered to the students' wants and needs. if you want to hang out or grab a meal, the hub is just the place. it's less crowded on sunday mornings because most students like joohyun, prefer to sleep in.

the seniors make their way into munch, a popular cafe amongst students, mainly because of their affordable prices. they'd occasionally get breakfast if byulyi needs joohyun for a morning shoot, otherwise, eating breakfast together almost never happens.

joohyun settles into a table for two on the second floor while yongsun gets their food. now that she's a little more awake, she could appreciate the serenity that comes with the early hours. it's idyllic to sit in a cafe and just — exist. watching people go about their day, listening in to random conversations of surrounding strangers, all of these feelings are alien to her but strangely soothing nonetheless.

a lapse in her daydreams causes her thoughts to dart to seungwan and their brief conversation earlier. joohyun has zero intentions of making it their final talk at all, though she isn’t exactly sure how to keep up a conversation with someone she barely knows. she’d probably have to ask yerim for plenty of help and she can just picture the glee on her younger cousin’s face — pure ecstasy stemming from her plight.

yongsun returns with food and they settle into a comfortable conversation, discussing the work that they’d have to complete for their respective projects between bites. seungwan doesn't come up, joohyun thought it would be a little odd to mention her now and luckily, yongsun doesn’t even think about interrogating her.

eventually, yongsun goes off on a tangent about her group members and joohyun is left humming and nodding every once in a while. it’s not that she doesn’t enjoy yongsun’s friendship, she appreciates the brunette for sticking around and being her first friend in university. but sometimes, joohyun’s attention span is much too short for her lengthy rambles.

a loud ding from yongsun’s phone finally interrupts her rant and joohyun turns her attention to the patrons below, lightly scanning the crowd, half expecting a familiar face.

and she does. it’s the face of a person who’s profile picture she spent a lot of time staring at last night.

son seungwan.

“looks like seulgi and seungwan are here too,” yongsun announces just as she catches sight of them, "byul just sent me seulgi's story."

her breath hitches as she turns to face yongsun with a raised brow, “hmm?”

“i said, seulgi and seungwan are here too.” her roommate turns her phone to show the other girl what she was looking at.

she squints at the instagram story, it depicts a video of seungwan holding up a plate of souffle pancakes while grinning at the camera.

hi_sseulgi    5 m

‘fluffy pancakes for @todayis_wannie’

the shy girl must be feeling a lot better now that she’s out with seulgi, at least joohyun doesn’t have to worry.

the corner of joohyun's lips tug upwards in a smile and it doesn't go unnoticed by yongsun. "did she like your tea?" she eyes her roommate curiously, momentarily putting aside the idea of looking for the two juniors.

joohyun hums as she sips on her drink, side-eyeing the table where she spotted seungwan earlier. "yeah, we texted a little earlier." she responds shortly.

"why didn't you invite them to join us?" yongsun probes as she follows joohyun's not so subtle gaze directly to the two best friends.

the smaller girl raises a brow and turns her attention back to her companion, "i did but she rejected me because she was waiting for seulgi to get up."

"ah, meanwhile i would've left you behind if you fell asleep." yongsun retorts while snickering.

joohyun snorts with her signature smile gracing her lips, “and i’d gladly let you.”

the conversation drifts off into a silence where joohyun doesn’t mind the mild tension and yongsun is contemplating whether they should talk about the elephant in the room. they are close, yes, but their friendship still has boundaries. they didn’t have a ride or die friendship like seungwan and seulgi, their bond was more muted and subtle, existing in forms of talks in the wee hours of the night and occasional shared meals.

but perhaps this isn’t the right time to pursue it, yongsun leans back in her chair and the tension eases off. joohyun visibly relaxes and resumes her observation of the patrons below, but really her eyes are glued to a single patron by the name of son seungwan.

the younger girl is talking animatedly about something but joohyun is too far to hear and it’s hard to make words out with her subpar lip-reading skills. still, it's a different side from what joohyun has seen — quiet, reserved and stared a little too much. seeing her alone with seulgi, eyes widening with a large grin on her face as she shovels breakfast into her mouth, makes joohyun wonder if they could reach that level of ease as well.

on the other hand, yongsun could only watch her roommate stare at the two friends below them. whipping out her phone, she snaps a few shots of the decently popular instagram model for two reasons. one being that joohyun would probably need to post something soon, and two, the look in her eyes, while she's watching seungwan, is all too familiar.

"do you wanna go say hi or are you just going to watch like a creep?" yongsun sighs after joohyun remains frozen for a solid five minutes.

the poster girl waves her off with a glare, "no, they look like they're having fun. let's go."

"mhmm, sure you don't wanna continue staring?" yongsun teases as she gets up.

"she's cute but don't forget that we still have to graduate." joohyun scoffs.

yongsun groans as they link arms and make their way out of munch. joohyun has a busy day ahead but texting and seeing seungwan makes it feel a little more bearable.

the enigma of son seungwan brings about an unfamiliar but welcomed joy.

the universe is working in her favour today, seungwan acknowledges with a small smile. a conversation with her soulmate, free breakfast, it sounds a little too good to be true for someone with her luck. she wouldn't be surprised if it all goes to shit soon. she's a little disappointed that her conversation with joohyun ended that quickly and she somehow convinced herself that the other girl probably has better things to do than to talk to her.

seulgi returns with their food and they devour the delicious pancakes with some occasional chatter. with how well the bear-like girl has been feeding her, seungwan is ready to put all her anger aside — not like she could ever stay mad at seulgi for long. the two friends chill and catch up about things that happened during the week since they have contrasting timetables, it's hard to talk on weekdays.

the introvert enjoys moments like these, just hanging out with her best friend and talking in their own world. seulgi gets up to go to the bathroom towards the end of breakfast and seungwan continues to mindlessly bite on her straw since there's no drink left — a habit she's never managed to kick. her phone buzzes in her pocket and she reaches for it without thinking. seulgi has sent a worrying text to say the least.

seulbear 🐻:

DONT PANIC AND DONT LOOK AWAY FROM YOUR PHONE

11:01 am

seungwan:

???

11:01 am

are you okay?

11:01 am

seulbear 🐻:

KIUUB 

11:02 am

KIYB

11:02 am

KIYUB HERE

11:02 am

seungwan freezes at seulgi's frantic texts, she squeezes the device tightly and tries to remain calm but her eyes widen as the panic makes itself at home in her chest.

seungwan:

WHERE

11:02 am

seulbear 🐻:

dOMT LOOK

11:02 am

DONT LOOK SHES WATCHING U FROM THE 2ND FLOOR

11:03 am

you know, the more you tell someone not to do something, the more likely they are to do it? seungwan can’t resist the temptation to look. bringing her phone a little closer to her face, she wonders if she could just take a peek. but seulgi returns just in time and obscures her view with a huge grin.

"move! you're blocking my view." seungwan hisses as she tries to peek past the towering figure in front of her.

“are you sure you want to look?"

“stop it seul, you’re killing me!"

"are you really really sure?"

“kang seulgi, why are you doing this?"

"because i know you're not going to function after you see how she looks at you." seulgi winks as she moves aside, finally letting bae joohyun into her line of sight.

she scans the second floor as subtly as she can but doesn't even catch a glimpse of the goddess. was seulgi playing tricks on her? frowning slightly, she kicks seulgi's leg under the table.

"ow! what was that for?" seulgi jumps at the pain that shoots through her shin.

"she's not there, liar." seungwan huffs.

as if on cue, when seulgi turns, she sees joohyun and yongsun descend the stairs from the second floor.

seungwan feels her throat go dry and she stares at the senior with flushed cheeks — her hair is tied up and she’s wearing her round-rimmed glasses as usual and holy shit, her heart is beating so quickly it might actually leap out of her chest.

oh to be a mere mortal witnessing a goddess descend from the heavens.

a small contented sigh escapes her throat and seulgi snaps her head back at her best friend with a questionable look plastered on her face. the design student cuts her staring short by snapping her fingers in the introvert’s face, causing her to jump slightly.

"stop that," she chides while biting back a grin, "if you're going to stare, can you do it without the sounds?"

“it wasn’t intentional,” seungwan hisses, “now shut up.”

to her dismay, the pair of seniors had already left and that was the end of her staring for the day. seungwan lets out a sad sigh as she pouts at seulgi.

"she's just so … pretty …" seungwan bemoans as she rests her chin in her hands, her vocabulary is far too limited to describe the beauty of kiyub.

"she's not on the walls of campus for no reason." her best friend retorts nonchalantly as she taps away on her phone.

"are you texting sooyoung?"

"you bet."

"please do not share the little sigh."

"too late, joohyun is also known as the hot lemon water senior now."

"little shit …"

yerimie

5 unread messages

the first thing joohyun sees when she reaches for her phone after spending a solid four hours on her research is a bunch of unread messages, she’s a little dismayed that they’re from her cousin rather than seungwan.

nonetheless, she opens up the conversation with her dearest cousin.

yerimie:

i won by the way

3:43 pm

how did things go

3:43 pm

and when are you taking me out

3:44 pm

so you’re going to ignore my messages but still post on instagram?

6:10 pm

i hate instagram models 🙄🙄🙄

6:10 pm

joohyun:

it was a scheduled post in my defence

6:23 pm

and you’re a little bold aren’t you … you were barely any help!!!

6:24 pm

yerimie:

you caught me at a bad time

6:24 pm

i’m ready now :-)

6:24 pm

joohyun:

go away 🙄

6:25 pm

yerimie:

don’t regret this 😠😠😠

6:25 pm

joohyun scoffs at the little brat’s message before tabbing to check her socials. yongsun took a pretty good picture of her at the cafe earlier and the post went up at the top of the hour. 

despite her infrequent usage of the app, it’s still a pretty big part of her life. being byulyi’s go-to model brought a lot of attention to her and though she’s not exactly considering a career in modelling, certain gigs paid pretty decently and it was a more than optimal backup plan should she fail her final year of school.

though that is highly unlikely, joohyun likes the security a little too much to let her instagram page wither away.

most of the time she’d skim through the comments, reply to a couple of friends and scroll through her typically empty feed. she doesn’t like following people she doesn't genuinely care about, there’s no way she’d be able to keep up with everyone’s posts if she followed everyone she’s vaguely friends with. she scrolls through the timeline with glazed eyes, doing assignments usually leaves her pretty drained.

but, a certain user pops up on her suggestions. tapping her profile curiously, the senior takes a quick glance through the design student’s feed.

hi_sseulgi

103     839      788

posts followers following

seulgi

hehe

followed by mo_onbyul and yongsun

it was filled with a whole variety of pictures, from scenic pictures to outfits to selfies, it’s apparent that seulgi puts a lot of effort into her feed. she drops a couple of likes here and there to applaud her hard work. joohyun could never be that dedicated, she's lucky that her friends are avid fans and take great shots of her which usually requires little to no editing.

a picture that doesn’t match the theme of the warm orange and yellow tones of seulgi’s feed catches her eye and she taps on it. it’s a photo of seulgi wrapping seungwan in a tight hug from their high school days.

171 likes

hi_sseulgi happy birthday to my best little nerd 💙 @todayis_wannie

todayis_wannie 👎👎👎

hi_sseulgi @todayis_wannie :(

21 february 2019

adorable, is the only thing that comes to joohyun’s mind. it’s evident that these two girls have a bond that she could never come close to forging with seungwan and it makes her realise that this isn’t what she hopes to get out of the younger girl. but at the same time, the thought of being merely friends doesn’t satiate her.

she heads over to seungwan’s profile which is unfortunately private so she couldn’t do any less than subtle sleuthing.

todayis_wannie

3          13        89

posts followers following

seungwan

followed by mo_onbyul, yongsun and 1 other

joohyun has a following count of under 10 people, it’s puzzling to see that more people followed seungwan instead of seulgi. of course she has to check who it is.

yerimiese

and of course, it’s her cousin. her younger cousin which she just chased away through text. swallowing her pride, she heads back to their conversation to figure out how her cousin has made it into seungwan’s extremely private instagram account.

joohyun:

how do you know seungwan

6:39 pm

yerimie:

😏😏😏

6:43 pm

so you need my help now huh unnie

6:43 pm

joohyun:

yes … spill

6:43 pm

yerimie:

only if you agree to barbeque

6:44 pm

joohyun:

yes fine how do you know her

6:44 pm

yerimie:

geez no need to rush

6:44 pm

we’re online friends

6:45 pm

joohyun:

i see

6:45 pm

yerimie:

and how do you know her? 👀👀👀

6:45 pm

joohyun:

mutual friends at school

6:46 pm

yerimie:

how does she have mutual friends with someone like you

6:46 pm

hold on i’m going to go ask her

6:46 pm

joohyun:

DO NOT

6:47 pm

in a panic, she rushes to call yerim who picks up unwillingly after a few rings.

“woah, was it that serious?” yerim teases with an amused chuckle, “you know i was kidding right, unnie.”

heaving a sigh of relief, her anxiety fades and her annoyance kicks in. “yah, kim yerim, you’re more trouble than it’s worth.”

“i’m well aware, but it seems like i have something to hold against you now.” the younger girl drawls cockily.

she’s losing this, there’s no way she could win against yerim but it doesn’t mean she’ll go down without a fight. joohyun hisses into the phone, “stop it, keep this between us. seungwan does not need to know we’re related.” 

“and if i tell her?”

“i’ll snitch to your mom, i bet you probably have some undone schoolwork right?” joohyun threatens with a smirk.

“if you’re willing to suffer the consequences of seungwan knowing that you struggled over texting her first then i’m willing to play this game.”

joohyun freezes at the threat that has just been thrown back at her. god, yerim is young but at the same time, too smart for her own good. she should’ve known better than to ask this brat for help.

“hello? unnie? you’re getting owned by your 16 year-old cousin, how does that feel?” yerim muses in her ever so cocky tone.

“what do you want?” joohyun sighs, with an opponent like kim yerim, she needs all the luck she can get but sadly, the odds are not in her favour. 

“i’ll text you the deets, but tell me about seungwan.’

“why do you want to know?”

“because, you, bae joohyun, is struggling to talk to someone like seungwan. it’s almost laughable really.”

“what’s so bad about that?”

“it should be the other way around, duh. now, tell me everything.”

sunday nights are when the monday blues begin to kick in and seungwan is lying on her bed watching some anime to distract herself from the fact that she has classes tomorrow. but that goes poorly when she receives an odd notification from an app she barely uses.

irene (renebaebae) has requested to follow you.

now, who the heck is irene?

assuming it’s a spam account, she enters instagram to delete the request when she catches sight of the user’s profile picture.

bae joohyun. otherwise known as kiyub and perhaps someday she’ll be known as seungwan’s soulmate.

“seulgi-ah, what’s joohyun-unnie’s instagram?” seungwan calls out to her best friend who’s busy working on her project.

“renebaebae, she goes by irene for her modelling stuff,” seulgi responds while spinning her tablet pen in her hand, “why?”

“she just sent me a follow request.”

the design student narrows her gaze and reaches for her phone quickly to confirm her suspicions. “what the heck? she followed you but just left a couple of likes on my posts!” seulgi exclaims in offense.

seungwan shrugs, not quite understanding her roommate’s outburst, “i’m going to reject it.”

“don’t be dumb, do you know how rare it is to get a follow from renebaebae?” seulgi chides instantly as she makes her way over to the introvert’s bed.

irene, or rather, renebaebae, was extremely selective about her following. she liked a couple of seulgi’s posts without following her even though they are acquaintances at this point, so that says a lot.

and the fact that she bothered to follow seungwan’s little account, says even more. 

“no … besides, it’s not like i post anything.” seungwan responds nonchalantly.

seulgi sighs as she grabs seungwan by the shoulders and looks her in the eye with an intensity that makes the nerd uncomfortable.

“she’s trying to follow you,” seulgi explains slowly, “in her world, it means that you’re worthy enough for her attention.”

oh.

oh fuck.

seungwan bids goodbye to her monday blues and welcomes a new wave of panic with open arms.

Chapter Text

the two best friends’ descent into chaos was swift and messy. one minute it was a peaceful sunday night and the next they're losing their minds over renebaebae's follow request.

“accept it!”

“but there’s nothing to see!”

“just show her anyway!”

“what if she finds me boring?”

“she won’t find you boring, she’ll like all your posts, trust me.”

“no she won’t!”

seulgi looks at the little nerd with puckered lips and seungwan sends her ridiculous pineapple plushie flying into her face without a second thought.

“let me call sooyoungie, she’ll be on my side.” seulgi declares as she crawls out of seungwan’s bed to get her phone.

seungwan groans loudly as she taps into joohyun’s profile, “what has your demon got to do with this?”

“you trust her opinion, don’t you?”

in times of dire need, she did trust sooyoung's judgement more than her bear-like friend's. seulgi was good, but she was also pretty biased sometimes. park sooyoung, on the other hand, a rebellious teenager blessed with the skill of foresight, could prove useful in a situation like this.

“fine.”

seulgi hops over to her desk and begins to call for external help.

renebaebae

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irene

followed by hi_sseulgi , mo_onbyul and 3 others

sure, she’d seen joohyun’s pictures pop up in her explore page, but being in denial meant ignoring those pictures. things have changed now, she’s a different person, she actually texted joohyun. she’s earned the rights to gawk at a couple, maybe all of renebaebae’s photos.

the latest one was posted just today, a mere five hours ago. taken on the second floor of munch, joohyun’s gaze is drawn downwards with a pleased smile gracing her lips.

liked by mo_onbyul and 2,902 others

renebaebae ✨

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yongsun shouldn’t you be using 🥰 instead

yerimiese still waiting for a reply 🥱🥱🥱

5 hours ago

munch. she and seulgi were there in the morning too. and also yerimiese. how did yerim know kiyub? before she could spiral into a string of questions from one instagram post, seulgi interrupts her by flopping onto her bed, causing her to drop her phone.

the design student lays across the introvert’s lap, angling her phone in front of the both of them so sooyoung could see.

“hi sooyoung.” seungwan greets her with a small smile as she adjusts to seulgi’s weight on her.

the highschooler offers a grunt in response as she shuffles around with her phone, finding an optimal spot on her desk before talking. “okay what’s the situation now?” sooyoung drawls, her phone is placed to the right while she attempts to put her bangs into curlers, showing clear disinterest in the discussion.

“kiyub followed wannie on instagram and she wants to reject it.” seulgi gives her a quick summary and the next thing you know, sooyoung is snapping her head towards the camera.

“with her main?” the highschooler gasps, bringing her hands up to her mouth dramatically.

“yes! can you believe it? she liked my posts but didn't follow me," seulgi whines as she shifts around on seungwan’s lap, "and she followed wannie!"

sooyoung clicks her teeth, taking offence at the model's actions, "what the heck? who does she think she is?"

seungwan frowns as she watches the couple diss her potential soulmate for a full minute before clearing her throat. "why do you want a follow from her anyway?" seungwan asks innocently, it's not like seulgi needed the attention, sooyoung gives her plenty.

seulgi sighs as she looks up to face her best friend, "so i can flex it and also because i want to work with her for my upcoming editorial project."

"yah kang seulgi! i thought you were going to ask me!" sooyoung's shrill voice erupts from the speakers.

seulgi faces the camera with a sheepish smile, "i am, but i need another model too."

snatching her phone from seulgi's hands, she sighs at park sooyoung. "give me an answer and i'll let you guys get back to your quarrel, reject it or not?"

"reject it." sooyoung declares confidently.

"hey! aren't we rooting for her to get together?" seulgi yells into the receiver upon hearing her soulmate's final answer.

"we are but hear me out, baby. get my baby back into view first, unnie." sooyoung coos nonchalantly as she squints at the screen to look for seulgi.

rolling her eyes, seungwan hands the phone back to seulgi so they are both in the frame.

sooyoung grins before starting her explanation, "if seungwan-unnie rejects it and joohyun cares enough, she'll probably text her again to ask why. and look, let's face it, seungwan-unnie's not going to text her."

the introvert bobs her head in agreement, "very true."

"wow, i love your sexy brain." seulgi's expression is plastered with a dopey smile.

"okay but what if she doesn't?"

"she will, you're not the only one feeling the attraction. if she really is your soulmate, she'll come looking for you eventually."

this mysterious attraction that sparks upon sight is felt by most soulmates. but it starts slow and gradual, small and non-existent till it grows into something out of anyone's control.

but imagining that joohyun could be feeling the exact same way as her is just something she couldn't fathom.

"honestly, i don't know how you are resisting her this well. all i wanted to do was to get to know my baby." sooyoung comments before winking at her soulmate whose face scrunches up into a grin.

the nerd responds with a guttural choking sound before reaching for her phone. she promptly taps the reject button and shuts her phone.

"crisis averted, thanks guys." she sighed tiredly. 

kiyub is constantly making her go through a rollercoaster of emotions and perhaps she's overreacting but this is how she is. and if kiyub can't love all of the mess that she is, then maybe soulmate tattoos are a lie. but deep down she knows she doesn’t want it to be a lie.

"what are you going to say anyway?" sooyoung questions while returning to her curlers.

"i don't know," seungwan shrugs, "i just don't wanna give her a stupid tattoo."

"she already gave you kiyub so isn't it only fair to repay it?" seulgi snickers.

"she's too pretty for a dumb tattoo."

"so are you, but you got kiyub."

"yah, kang seulgi, stop flirting with her and give me attention."

joohyun:

what the hell

11:08 am

she rejected me!!

11:08 am

yerimie:

LOL!!!!!

11:09 am

can't handle a tiny rejection? 😏

11:09 am

joohyun:

i will choke you

11:09 am

help me

11:09 am

yerimie:

uh??? text her i guess

11:09 am

she appreciates it when people are upfront

11:09 am

joohyun:

are you sure? how do you know?

11:10 am

yerimie:

🙄🙄🙄

11:10 am

she's a very different person in-game okay trust me on this!!

11:10 am

and joohyun, obviously, does not.  

she had spent the latter part of her sunday night sharing her woes with her cousin was surprisingly pretty apathetic about it but still offered some decent advice for a 16-year-old. there's no one else on her side except yerim so she has no choice but to trust her.

besides, she had an excuse to text seungwan anyway. and there’s no way she can ruin things through text.

joohyun:

hey~ just thought i'd check in on you again

11:20 am

are you fully recovered?

11:20 am

her messages are met with silence and she has no way of verifying if seungwan has read them because she's turned off all read receipts. there's no way she's turning them back on because she needs to peek at unwanted messages on the down-low. joohyun is left distracted for the whole day, constantly checking her phone just to see if son seungwan has replied. it gets a little frustrating at some point, she's never been denied anything, especially when it comes to getting people's attention.

when she finally sees the notification that son seungwan has responded, relief washes over her like a heavy rain after months of drought.

son seungwan:

hi unnie! sorry for the late reply, had a busy day.

5:38 pm

yes, i'm really feeling much better now 😊

5:38 pm

joohyun:

that's really good

5:39 pm

take better care of yourself in the future okay?

5:39 pm

son seungwan:

yes ma'am 👍

5:39 pm

they could end the talk there. it's a good cut off and normally, joohyun would just let the chat die. but she’s not going to let their chat die in five messages after waiting an entire day.

joohyun:

hope my flask is still in good condition~

5:41 pm

are you free anytime this week?

5:41 pm

son seungwan:

i'll have to check, have lots of things to do before the seollal holidays.

5:41 pm

you know how it is when the final semester is upon us 😬

5:41 pm

joohyun:

can't even spare time for a quick lunch? u_u

5:42 pm

son seungwan goes offline and joohyun stares at her last message for a little. had she been too direct? but yerim said seungwan appreciates when people are upfront, so she did just that and now the other girl's gone.

just as she's about to yell at yerim, seungwan returns and begins typing.

son seungwan:

🙏 sorry unnie! i will let you know the moment i have time!

5:48 pm

joohyun:

i'm kidding, don't worry about it~

5:48 pm

i know how hectic the final semester can get

5:48 pm

let me know whenever~ i'm usually free on wednesdays and fridays~

5:48 pm

son seungwan:

will do!

5:48 pm

another lapse in their conversation makes joohyun rack her brains for something to keep this going. anything goes, even her mildly insufferable cousin. there's no way joohyun could let seungwan know that they were pretty close. yerim might be a conversation starter and also the only way she’ll get to know the younger girl better.

joohyun:

by the way, do you know yerim?

5:50 pm

son seungwan:

yerim?

5:50 pm

joohyun:

yeah~ yerimiese, i saw that she follows you on instagram

5:50 pm

which brings me to my next question

5:50 pm

son seungwan:

oh! we play games together

5:50 pm

what question? 

5:51 pm

joohyun:

why did you reject my follow u_u

5:51 pm

son seungwan:

uhm … 😳

5:51 pm

joohyun:

sorry~ is it really that private?

5:51 pm

you don’t have to accept me i’m just curious why you rejected me

5:51 pm

the moment she sent that text, she regrets it with every fibre of her being. curse yerim and her suggestions. then again, you don’t normally ask someone why they’ve rejected your instagram follow request, so it might be on her for handling it in all the wrong ways.

in an attempt to salvage this chat, she has to rely on yerim being their only conversational topic.

joohyun:

sorry~ you don’t have to answer that

5:56 pm

what do you and yerim usually play?

5:56 pm

son seungwan:

sorry … i don’t feel comfortable sharing my account just yet 😥

5:56 pm

maplestory usually, occasionally valorant and lately we’ve been trying out among us with some other friends

5:56 pm

not having anything to talk about other than her cousin should’ve been a big telltale sign for joohyun that they are two very different people, but being clueless about what seungwan has just typed reinforces that harsh truth. 

son seungwan:

oh sorry, they're just various online games

5:57 pm

joohyun:

ah~ you’re treating me like yerim e_e

5:57 pm

i’m not that old!!

5:57 pm

son seungwan:

sorry! i didn’t mean it that way!

5:57 pm

i assumed that you wouldn’t know what those games are

5:57 pm

joohyun:

well, you’re not wrong but at least i’ve heard of league of legends

5:58 pm

hopefully that counts for something 🙄

5:58 pm

son seungwan:

hahahah of course it does! sadly it's not my type of game 😋

5:58 pm

when’s your birthday anyway, unnie?

5:58 pm

such a simple question from son seungwan seems almost divine. after struggling with the nagging feeling that their relationship wouldn’t progress past a pair of acquaintances, beginning to feel that seungwan is reciprocating her energy is gratifying in ways she can’t explain.

joohyun spends the rest of the evening engaged in a casual conversation with son seungwan at the expense of having extra work to do tomorrow.

son seungwan is an escapist, a fact that hasn’t changed for the longest time and probably won't ever change. there's no explanation as to why, or at least she hasn't done enough introspective soul-searching for that answer yet.

but diving into alternate worlds of fiction, experiencing life in virtual fantasies, all of that appealed to her. and if it makes her happy, who's going to get in her way? with her shy personality, she gravitated towards games of all sorts. jumping from genre to genre till she found her people.

highschool ended pretty anti-climatically for seungwan, with seulgi busy with her new soulmate, she had too much time than she knew what to do with. there’s no way she was going to third wheel on every date for the rest of their lives.

in the virtual world she sought solace, spending nights upon nights in everything but reality. she spent a lot of time in maplestory, an adorable little 2d mmorpg. she's made good friends, though none comparable to seulgi, they’d be there when she wants to have a good time.

"we're going to need another attacker." luna, her first friend in-game declares as he dies for the third time in a row.

she'd been practising for one of the harder bosses, lucid, with a few friends, but seemed impossible to kill without a little extra damage.

a blade master who goes by bread agrees with a hum,"i know someone but she’s a little brat that can really get on your nerves." 

"well, if she meets the requirements i have no complaints," seungwan responds as she attempts to dodge lucid's attacks, "i'd like to actually see lucid die for once."

"true, we gotta get our hands on that sexy loot." luna chuckles.

and so, with the addition of a pathfinder, which was pretty much a glorified archer class, their party was formed. when bread said that the new attacker could get on her nerves, seungwan didn't know to what extent.

"where was the holy shell? aren't you a bishop?" yeri, their brand new attacker was scolding her for the third time that night.

being a bishop, it means that the responsibility of keeping her team alive in critical situations rests on her shoulders. due to a bad call on her part earlier on, she had messed up and didn't block an attack that could've prevented yeri from dying. to be fair, seungwan did deserve getting told off but at least she could be more polite about it.

with a small sigh, seungwan mumbles an apology, "sorry, it's on cooldown. it'll be up to block the next bomb."

tension hangs in the air and no one speaks for a solid minute and bread turns to typing in the buddy chat where yeri couldn’t see since they haven’t added each other in-game.

bread: i told you

bread: she's really demanding

azure: she's a piece of work but at least she's got the mechanics down

luna: stop typing man we gotta focus

seungwan makes sure to pay extra attention to their new attacker, showering her with a plethora of heals and buffs. afterall, she’s dishing out more than enough damage for them to progress to the second phase. all hell breaks loose in the second phase of lucid, blame it on the lag or pure bad luck but her members begin to use up their death counts, dying out before they can see the end of this boss.

now it’s just seungwan and yeri, the last two survivors of a party of five. the end is in sight, they are but a few minutes away from victory.

“i’m on my last life.” yeri announces when lucid sends sickles flying towards her character, it’s a mistake on her part. she’s gotten much quieter once seungwan pretty much stuck to her after her initial beratings.

a quiet hum escapes seungwan’s throat. she doesn’t talk much when she’s focusing hard, “i got your back, i’ll keep you alive.” a simple reassurance followed by a quick use of her resurrection skill.

“let’s fucking go!” luna cheers them on, killing all trace of animosity in the call.

with lifted spirits and some luck, they manage to kill lucid for the first time ever — though half the party’s dead. a celebration ensues and the irritation from yeri’s initial lectures are forgotten.

"thanks for the heals, azure." yeri mumbles after they had split the loot with the rest of the members.

"no problem," seungwan replied easily, “though you could’ve been nicer about it.”

“sorry … it’s just my previous parties have been very frustratingly bad, it felt like you guys were going to be a repeat.” the younger girl explains with an apology.

well, it was nice to know that she wasn't a rude little gremlin at the end of the day.

seungwan lets a smile slip, “technically, three of them died out, so i wouldn’t say we’re that good.”

“at least it’s an upgrade from my previous one.” yeri snorts.

and now, it’s time for the final question that her members have been anticipating for the entire night — whether this bratty archer would be a permanent member of their party.

"will you be joining us next week?"

all at once, her buddy chat explodes with messages from her party members expressing their shock at her decision. they trusted her enough to let her take charge of their party formation but they couldn’t fathom having someone as mean as yeri in their party permanently.

bread: wow azure for real?

luna: we're keeping her????

oobie: guess we're adopting her kekeke

luna: holy shit we gotta deal with her flaming us every week now t.t

azure: be nice guys

azure: i’m sure things will be better once we get to know her

oobie: yeah guys listen to the sajangnim

"if you guys are willing to take me in, definitely." yeri responds with surprise in her voice as she jumps around on her character.

"well, nice to have you onboard, yeri."

it takes a few weeks for things to smooth out and eventually the party grows fond of their young but deadly archer. their little party continued to progress through the game together, from forming guilds to defeating endgame bosses, a friendship blossomed. they had talks that lasted till dawn, played various other games and did everything you could possibly do with virtual friends.

at the end of the day, it’s easier to be herself behind a screen, behind a character named ‘azure’ . even though there’s a potentially ineradicable barrier between them, seungwan still likes to think of her online friends as her people. they wouldn’t understand all of her but they were still companions in a grand escape from reality.

seungwan:

sorry i fell asleep last night 🙏

10:13 am

joohyun-unnie:

yah aren't you late for class?

10:17 am

sorry for keeping you up u_u

10:17 am

seungwan:

don't worry, seulgi woke me up just in time 😬

10:18 am

joohyun-unnie:

have a good day

10:18 am

i gotta get ready too

10:18 am

talk to you later~

10:18 am

"miss son, i'd appreciate it if you'd put your phone away." a stern voice resonates through the entire lecture hall, drawing her attention away from her phone.

having her professor call her out in a lecture hall full of people makes her want to disappear instantly. seungwan started her day by being violently awoken by seulgi, followed by rushing to class and now, being singled out by the one professor who she doesn't want to get on the bad side of. lowering her head with an apologetic nod, she tucks her phone away and diverts her attention to the lecture.

it's fine if things turned out the way they did. being able to talk to joohyun felt like it was worth the trouble, they'd spent the night texting and talking about the dumbest things. from what she's gathered, joohyun isn’t all that intimidating but rather a little goofy.

how could someone look that gorgeous and be that adorable at the same time? and that someone would be the person she'll be able to give all her love to.

merely thinking about it makes her giddy with excitement and she has to bite back a grin before she gets called out again. love has to take a backseat for now because she can’t fail her final semester because of her soulmate.

son seungwan:

got called out for texting you just now

2:08 pm

how’s your day going?

2:08 pm

joohyun:

🤐 woops … sounds like i’m a bad influence~

2:09 pm

my day’s a little better now that i’ve eaten

2:09 pm

son seungwan:

ooh, what’d you get?

2:09 pm

joohyun:

spicy tteokbokki n_n!!

2:09 pm

son seungwan:

ahh … sounds good ... 😩😩

2:09 pm

joohyun:

go get them!! it’s a new shop down by the hub

2:10 pm

son seungwan:

going to the hub on a weekday is a big no 🙅🙅

2:10 pm

there’s way too many people and i’d have to wait an eternity for my food

2:10 pm

joohyun:

but it’s really good ..!!

2:10 pm

son seungwan:

for tteokbokki ..? it’s not worth the sacrifice 🤔

2:10 pm

joohyun:

what’s worth the sacrifice then?

2:11 pm

son seungwan:

fluffy pancakes hands down.

2:11 pm

joohyun:

fluffy pancakes? o_o

2:11 pm

son seungwan:

ah i mean souffle pancakes

2:11 pm

i just like to call them fluffy pancakes

2:11 pm

it's the one they serve at munch on sundays 🥰🥰

2:11 pm

joohyun:

they’re always sold out by the time i get there 😤

2:12 pm

son seungwan:

what time do you get there? because they’re never sold out before noon 👀

2:12 pm

joohyun:

yah … there’s a reason why i don’t have a single 8 am class ...

2:12 pm

son seungwan:

not a single 8 am ?!

2:12 pm

that must be really nice 😔 

2:12 pm

joohyun:

and so is tteokbokki 😉

2:13 pm

son seungwan:

i will try it sometime just not on a weekday 🙄

2:13 pm

joohyun:

and i will hold you to it~

2:13 pm

yeri:

yo unnie are you free

11:23 pm

seungwan:

i'm finishing up on some schoolwork

11:23 pm

what's up?

11:23 pm

yeri:

free to discord?

11:23 pm

seungwan:

math?

11:23 pm

yeri:

nah just wanna talk

11:23 pm

it's a thursday night, seungwan tries to avoid joining discord calls on school nights because she knows her friends will keep her up till dawn. but she makes exceptions for yerim, talking to the highschooler unshackles her from the anxieties that come with growing up.

"hello." seungwan greets softly when she enters their guild server.

"oh, hey unnie, is seulgi asleep?" yerim replies casually as she queues a bunch of songs with the server's music bot.

seungwan tosses a glance at her roommate who's bent over her screen in a way that couldn't be good for her neck and sighs. when seulgi focuses, she's in her own world, which is a good thing when she's in discord calls.

"nope, she's focusing now so i don't want to disrupt her." the introvert explains while keeping her voice down.

yerim hums in acknowledgement and goes silent, which leaves seungwan questioning the intent of a call on a school night.

"so what's up? we both have school tomorrow, i'd like to be in bed before midnight." seungwan prompts easily as she tabs back to her work.

"relax grandma," yerim snickers, "i just wanted to talk about my cousin."

her cousin. yerim's cousin?

"joohyun-unnie, if you're wondering who."

oh, joohyun. the joohyun she's been texting for the last few days. the joohyun who's also her soulmate that she doesn't have the courage to face yet. and the joohyun who said they were distant cousins.

what does yerim want to talk about? how does she know they know each other when joohyun said they were distant?

"hello? miss azure?" yerim speaks with the mic so close to her mouth, it’s a miracle she hasn’t swallowed it.

"ah! sorry, i zoned out." seungwan lies with flushed cheeks, she couldn't admit to yerim the truth just yet, "what did you say?"

"i said i want to talk about my cousin, joohyun. bae joohyun. renebaebae on instagram." the younger girl repeats dramatically.

"what about joohyun-unnie? she said you guys weren’t close." the nerd swallows nervously, hoping the highschooler doesn't catch on.

yerim chuckles, "she’s lying but i'll be honest with you, she's told me some things but i want to hear from you too."

"hear what?"

"don't worry, it's nothing bad. i'm on your side more than hers."

"is that supposed to be comforting?"

"not really."

"then what's the point of saying it?"

"i'm just trying to be a good ally here alright,” yerim clicks her teeth, “i wanna know what you feel about her."

seungwan hesitates for a moment before coming up with an ultimatum, "only if you swear to not tell her."

"you're so dramatic."

"i will kick you out of our party if you do."

"but you need me!"

"i can find a replacement."

yerim huffs, "you're harsh but fine, i swear on my life that i won't tell her."

"okay, great." the bishop replies with a grin, "i think she's really kind and pretty."

"that's it?"

"you asked me what i thought and that's what i think!" seungwan defends herself easily.

"heck, you're annoying, i'll get straight to the point." yerim groans as she kicks the music bot out so there's nothing to distract them, "is she your soulmate?"

the question takes seungwan by surprise and she freezes in shock, quickly assessing the risks of being honest with yerim. but her silence makes it evident that the younger girl has hit the nail on the head. it’s checkmate for her.

"holy shit, are you serious?" yerim gasps loudly.

the nerd gapes and tries to protest, "where'd you get that idea from and no she's not!"

"don't lie to me that pause is extremely questionable!" yerim exclaims.

"you swear to not tell her?"

"like she doesn't already know?"

panic fills her soul. this is the first time she's considered that joohyun might know that they're soulmates. she thought that she's hidden it well enough, but maybe she's not as sleek as she thinks she is.

"oh my god, does joohyun-unnie know about this? did she ask you to talk to me? does she know we're soulmates and i'm avoiding her because i'm scared?" seungwan sits up in her chair and babbles in a panic.

her fear causes yerim to burst into laughter, responding in between breaths, the younger girl reassures her easily, "not at all, i'm here because i care about you. she's so clueless it's almost painful, you're safe for now."

drawing a breath of relief, she relaxes and regains full functionality of her brain, "then how did you know?"

"it was a hunch," the highschooler explains, "you're forgetting that people my age are getting their tattoos and finding their soulmates daily, it's not hard to connect the dots."

"so why didn't you tell her?"

"it's kinda funny to see her like this," yerim laughs amusedly, "but you on the other hand, what are you doing?"

the nerd clicks her teeth in retort, "what do you mean what am i doing?"

"why haven't you revealed yourself? isn't it like pretty hard to hide the attraction? all these couples at school are literally glued to each other."

talking to yerim is always easy, though it's usually a gamble on whether she'll understand and empathise. but seungwan doesn't mind sharing her insecurities because yerim does the same too.

"i don't feel ready yet." she confesses.

yerim hums softly as if she understands but it's clear she doesn't when she speaks, "what's there to be ready for? don't you just fall in love?" 

"i mean … yeah i think so? but i-" seungwan exhales deeply as she gathers her thoughts, normally she could be more articulate about feelings but love is a foreign topic, "i'm not comfortable with the idea of joohyun-unnie being my soulmate yet."

"why?"

seungwan tilts her head up to the ceiling and admits the truth that's been weighing on her chest for a while now, "we're literally from different worlds, yeri, i don't know if she can understand me or if i can love her like i'm supposed to."

"these tattoos are called soulmate tattoos for a reason, right? it sounds pretty dumb to question what's meant to be isn't it?" yerim reasons easily.

oh the ignorance of youth, she'd been like that too. but hearing stories of how people don't find their soulmates or how they get rejected can really kill all that positivity.

"i know but it's not like people don't reject their soulmates, it still happens from time to time." seungwan counters.

"are you questioning your bond because of that video where they interviewed people who got rejected by their soulmates?"

"... no?"

"it was a really sad interview, not gonna lie."

"don't bring that up, it makes me sad just thinking about it."

"then go get your soulmate, she won't reject you, what are you afraid of?"

"because i'm insecure, you smooth brained fool!"

"i'll have you know my brain has many wrinkles!"

a pause lingers before they guffaw at yerim's retaliation. this is always how talks between them are going to go — casual with a tinge of seriousness and a dash of quips. yerim’s presence in her life is a reminder that you can still have fun in seemingly shitty situations.

"but okay, what’s the game plan now?”

“i don’t know, we’ve barely started texting.”

“how do you lead a whole party into endgame bosses but not know how to talk to girls?”

seungwan deadpans, “i’m a bishop, not a flirt.”

“fair point, so do you want my help or are you going to wait for her to approach you?”

“aren’t you going to be her wingman too?” seungwan raises an eyebrow curiously, “how is this going to work?”

“i don’t know, maybe i’ll drop some shitty hints during seollal next week. or tell me what you want to talk to her about and i’ll guide her in the right direction. either way, i’m open to all ideas.”

confessing to kiyub after the lunar new year doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, it’ll give her plenty of time to get to know joohyun better and hopefully gather her courage too.

“that works, though i don’t see why you’re telling me first.”

“first of all, joohyun-unnie said she spoke to you, so if you guys were soulmates, you’d know, which you do.” the younger girl elaborates, “secondly, because you’re my friend and i think you might need more help when it comes to someone like my cousin.”

“aww, that’s really sweet.” seungwan’s chest warms at the thought of yerim looking out for her, “but i think i can handle myself pretty well if we’re texting.”

“for your sake, i hope so. how can you be this bad at talking to someone?”

“it’s a personality trait at this point.”

“well, it’s a terrible one. i hope you get a refund.”

“should’ve suspected it was defective when i got it on sale.”

"can't believe they straight up scammed you like this."

joohyun:

i need more info on seungwan

1:03 pm

yerimie:

text me at night i don't wanna spend all my lunch breaks texting you

1:03 pm

joohyun:

yerim-ah help me 😭😭😭

1:03 pm

yerimie:

why are you so desperate? 😂😂😂

1:03 pm

joohyun:

because!! i have nothing in common with her!! i feel like i’m running out of things to talk about!!

1:03 pm

i have to google what she’s saying half the time

1:04 pm

yerimie:

LOL same 

1:04 pm

just say you don't know and she'll sum it up in two lines for you

1:04 pm

joohyun:

but i don’t wanna sound clueless

1:04 pm

yerimie:

but you are clueless, it's not like you know her

1:04 pm

joohyun:

is she really that different online?

1:05 pm

yerimie:

i wouldn't know 🥴

1:05 pm

but based on everything you've told me it's like she's done a complete 180

1:05 pm

i think it's just your effect on people like her

1:05 pm

joohyun:

on people like her?

1:05 pm

yerimie:

yeah like she's not used to interacting with people like you

1:06 pm

we're a bunch of losers online we don't hang out with instagram models every day

1:06 pm

joohyun:

🙄 am i really that snobbish?

1:06 pm

yerimie:

no … what i mean is you guys are like polar opposites

1:06 pm

it's just weird that you're trying to befriend someone who's out of your league

1:06 pm

joohyun:

who's out of who's league

1:07 pm

she just seems like a nice girl, okay?

1:07 pm

yerimie:

yeah she is a literal angel but you're like medusa 🤔🤔🤔

1:07 pm

joohyun:

yah … it's only a week till i see you …

1:07 pm

just help me find a common ground with her

1:07 pm

yerimie:

like what?

1:08 pm

should i just ask her?

1:08 pm

joohyun:

NO

1:08 pm

if you can’t be a wingman, at least explain the games to me

1:08 pm

yerimie:

fine i’ll drop you some gameplay links later

1:09 pm

i want to spend my lunch break eating now thank you

1:09 pm

joohyun:

okay i'll text you later

1:09 pm

yerimie:

you ought to pay me for my time ...

1:09 pm

joohyun:

🖕

1:09 pm

texting kiyub steadily turns into somewhat of a routine and seungwan has never been so attached to her phone until now. they started texting a few days ago and aren’t seem to be stopping any time soon, which is surprising and relieving for her. though joohyun seems to be the one putting in the extra effort now, seungwan is slowly adjusting to it as well. if either one of them falls asleep, they'd pick up the chat the next day with a good morning text to go.

joohyun-unnie:

okay you got me

10:12 am

i can see the appeal of in-game cosmetics 

10:12 am

but how do you spend more on virtual clothes than real physical clothes??

10:12 am

good morning to you too~

10:12 am

seungwan:

it's a lifestyle choice, unnie 😏

10:14 am

got an early class today?

10:14 am

joohyun-unnie:

nope~ just gotta meet my project mates for an interim update

10:14 am

i'm starting to appreciate the final year a lot more

10:14 am

seungwan:

what's so good about the final year?

10:14 am

adulthood is upon you soon 🤨

10:15 am

joohyun-unnie:

e_e … yah … you'll get there soon enough ...

10:15 am

there's lesser lectures and classes in the final year

10:15 am

seungwan:

which means more time to sleep in?

10:15 am

joohyun-unnie:

ahh~ i can just imagine being under warm blankets now

10:15 am

seungwan:

you would graduate from your bed if you could

10:16 am

joohyun-unnie:

you know me so well~

10:16 am

what's your schedule like today?

10:16 am

seungwan:

have two long lectures today, wish me luck 💀

10:16 am

joohyun-unnie:

son seungwan fighting!!

10:17 am

text me if you're bored

10:17 am

no wait ... listen to your professors!!

10:17 am

seungwan:

yes, yes i will

10:17 am

joohyun:

any plans for seollal?

12:05 am

son seungwan:

not much, just heading home to spend time with my family

12:05 am

my sister's flying back for the first time in almost a year 🥳

12:05 am

joohyun:

ah~ where was she?

12:05 am

son seungwan:

she’s been in canada for work

12:05 am

we don't talk as often nowadays so i’m looking forward to seeing her again

12:06 am

joohyun:

that's nice~

12:06 am

son seungwan:

what about you? excited to head home?

12:06 am

joohyun:

i’m dreading the journey back and facing my prying aunts

12:06 am

son seungwan:

glad to know that we have the same kind of gossipy relatives 🤭

12:06 am

joohyun:

my aunts are on a different level trust me u_u

12:07 am

son seungwan:

we should pit our aunts in a gossip showdown then

12:07 am

i’m betting on yours

12:07 am

joohyun:

😂😂😂

12:07 am

yah what the heck!! shouldn’t you be betting on your own team?

12:07 am

son seungwan:

there’s no winning against rich elite middle-aged women

12:08 am

joohyun:

hopefully i don’t turn into one of them 🤨

12:08 am

son seungwan:

i’m pretty sure you won’t 🤨

12:08 am

seollal rolls around much faster than joohyun expected, the days seem to be passing by a little quicker. after spending the last few days tying up loose ends for her project, she's ready to head home and spend some time with her family — which includes her cousin who she's pestering much less lately. she can't deny missing being around a big family and celebrating the different festivities together.

but family holidays do get increasingly harder to be around as the years go by, it’s a struggle to answer the same questions every year with the same answers. her relatives are relentless when it comes to judging her future and her love life, her looks only added fuel to the fire.

the dreadful question of being asked when she's bringing someone back lingers at the back of her head when her family's mansion comes into view. specifically, it belonged to her grandparents but she lived there all her life, only moving to a different city for academics in recent years.

a buzz from her phone draws her attention and she squints at the new message she's just received. it’s just who she expects it to be.

son seungwan:

i'm back!! 

5:45 pm

hope you made it home safe! and say hi to yeri for me 😊

5:45 pm

stopping in her steps, joohyun types a quick response. conversations with seungwan started out rocky but things are much better now, comfortable even. chatting with seungwan turned into a daily routine and doesn’t mind if things stay this way.

joohyun:

just arrived, hope i can make it through the holiday u_u

5:45 pm

how did your cooking go~

5:45 pm

the senior tucks her phone away and steps into the large property, preparing herself for half a week of festivities. she's not the biggest fan but she looks forward to catching up with her family nonetheless.

upon entering the mansion, she's immediately greeted by loud screaming followed by children racing across her path. she jumps back and stifles a yelp while glaring at her younger cousins who greets her with a shriek before running off. times like these, she dislikes being the eldest amongst all her cousins.

"joohyun-unnie's finally here!" yerim declares to no one in particular as she greets the senior in the foyer.

"your siblings almost gave me a heart attack." joohyun exhales sharply with a hand pressed against her chest.

"but they're the kindest people here." yerim snorts while slinging an arm around her unnie's shoulders.

"that is true," the senior huffs, "seungwan says hi by the way."

"i can never get over the fact that you're calling her seungwan." the highschooler shakes her head.

the senior raises an eyebrow curiously, "what else am i supposed to call her then?"

"i'm just more used to calling her azure," yerim shrugs, "now come on you're already late."

yerim ushers her into the living room where most of her relatives have gathered. apparently, she's the last one to arrive because it seems like everyone is here.

joohyun excuses herself to settle in after greeting everyone but it is also so she could talk to seungwan for a bit more. the younger girl had been busy while she was on the journey back home so they couldn't talk much. being back in her room after months feels strangely odd yet familiar at the same time, things are pretty much the way she’s left them though she’s pretty sure her room has been tidied for her return.

plopping herself onto her soft bed, she lets out a soft exhale. fatigue from travelling for the entire afternoon begins to settle into her bones and as much as she wants to take a nap, it’ll be dinner time soon and with her family around, it’ll be impossible.

reaching for her phone lazily, she seeks out her recently discovered source of comfort, son seungwan.

son seungwan:

it can’t be that bad right?

5:53 pm

i’d prefer to have you back in one piece

5:53 pm

dinner looks delicious but we're still waiting on my sister

5:53 pm

joohyun:

yerim’s sisters almost ran into me the moment i set foot in the house

6:01 pm

i’m not going to make it through 3 days

6:01 pm

son seungwan:

ah unnie you’re so dramatic

6:01 pm

i’m sure it’ll be fine!

6:01 pm

joohyun:

how are things on your side?

6:02 pm

son seungwan:

no running children here

6:02 pm

probably more relaxed compared to your family 😝

6:02 pm

dealt with any nosey aunts yet?

6:02 pm

joohyun:

don’t remind me u_u

6:02 pm

they’re going to keep asking me where my soulmate is

6:03 pm

son seungwan:

hahaha, is that really such a dreadful question?

6:03 pm

joohyun:

it is when i don’t know the answer either 

6:03 pm

if it’s not about my love life then it’s going to be about my future

6:03 pm

son seungwan:

well, maybe next year you should bring someone home

6:03 pm

that oughta keep them quiet 🤭

6:04 pm

joohyun:

i’m not bringing strangers home!! 

6:04 pm

son seungwan:

i was going to volunteer myself but i guess not 🤐

6:04 pm

there goes my plans for meeting yeri for the first time

6:04 pm

joohyun:

i wouldn’t subject anyone to their relentless probing

6:04 pm

especially you!!

6:05 pm

it’s pure torture!!

6:05 pm

also i find it really strange that you and yerim refer to each other by your usernames ... 🤨

6:05 pm

son seungwan:

hahaha it's just become a habit at this point 😝

6:05 pm

also i'll probably be useless considering that i'm a pretty bad conversationalist

6:05 pm

joohyun:

you're not that bad 😤

6:06 pm

a knock on the door steals joohyun’s attention from her phone and she cranes her neck to glimpse at the person who has interrupted her texting with seungwan. 

yerim pokes her head in with a curious glance. “dinner time, halmoni specifically requested that you sit with her.”

joohyun:

gotta go for dinner, talk to you later~

6:07 pm

son seungwan:

have a good meal!

6:07 pm

with a frown, joohyun gets up and shuffles to the door. “is she saving me from you know who?” the senior’s eyes light up at the thought of avoiding her nosey aunts.

the highschooler shrugs, “knowing her, she might be plotting to marry you off.”

joohyun smacks the younger girl’s arm without remorse as they make their way downstairs.

seollal food always smells heavenly, but perhaps the rarity of it makes her love it a little more. dinner is chaotic, to say the least, everyone takes a little while to settle into their seats and she finds her spot next to her grandmother.

she drags yerim along for moral support because it's rare that her grandmother would shower her with extra attention. most of the time it'll be on the younger kids who are making a mess on the opposite end of the table.

"you look prettier every year, joohyun-ah." her grandmother compliments when she takes her seat.

joohyun returns the compliment with a shy smile. they should be considered close considering that joohyun has lived with her for most of her life but university caused them to drift apart. dinner begins and everyone digs in with the occasional chatter once in a while. joohyun spent most of it idly listening to the adults chatting about politics and seollal feels like it could be bearable for once. that is until yerim decides it'll be fun to ruin her life.

"did you know she's an instagram model, halmoni?" yerim asks aloud.

joohyun snaps her head at the highschooler with a glare, her instagram gig is something she doesn't want to share with her family because they are very traditional. pursuing a degree in psychology is a stable career path and throwing something like modelling into the mix would only sound like it could threaten her future. she's not going to hear the end of it from her parents and the entire family if they find out — hence the reason she chose to go by irene instead.

the elderly woman nods while taking a sip of her drink, "of course, nothing slips by me. irene, right? i think it's a lovely name."

"it's just a hobby, halmoni, i don't plan on doing it past graduation." joohyun defends herself easily, there's no need to get flustered, her grandmother is a reasonable person and would listen to her explanation.

her grandmother chuckles, "really? i think you could really excel in it." 

joohyun widens her eyes at the revelation and yerim exclaims in awe.

"are you serious?" yerim chimes in with a mouth full of food.

the senior clicks her teeth in annoyance, "yah, can you not talk when you're chewing?"

"i just wanna know what halmoni thinks about your so-called hobby." yerim retorts while continuing to chew.

their grandmother shakes her head with amusement before eyeing her younger granddaughter, “she’s beautiful and she’s using it to her advantage, nothing wrong with that.”

“and you’re against my idea of becoming a youtuber?”

“you should be focusing on your studies, yerim-ah. we can talk more after you get into university.”

catching up with her grandmother and cousin over dinner turned out to be more pleasant than she expected, for the first time in years she doesn’t have to be on her guard against her aunts. joohyun lets herself soak in the festive mood for the rest of the evening because it feels great to be home for the first time.

most of the family retreat to their rooms before midnight in preparation for the long day tomorrow, but joohyun decides to sit out back for a little while. nights at home were always serene, but she could never appreciate the tranquillity as a child. now that she’s older, she’s a little more appreciative of the silence.

a sudden creak startles her and joohyun whips her head in the direction of the back door, only to find her grandmother is shuffling outside in her sleepwear.

“ah, halmoni, shouldn’t you be asleep?” joohyun asks quietly as the elderly woman joins her on the porch’s sofa.

the aged woman waves her off dismissively while draping a cardigan around her small frame, “and you’re out here.”

“it’s nice and quiet here,” joohyun lets a small smile escape while pulling the cardigan closer around her body, “it’s really different in seoul.”

her grandmother nods without saying much and joohyun contemplates if she should attempt to strike up a conversation or merely sit in silence with her. the senior shifts uncomfortably, all she wanted some time to ruminate before bed and her grandmother's presence a little unnerving. 

the elderly woman notices her discomfort and sighs, "i was going to save if for the last day but i might as well say it now."

joohyun can't help but feel anxious from the way her grandmother has worded the question, she bites the inside of her cheek as she picks her words carefully, “is this regarding my instagram?”

“a little, but i was also expecting you to bring a partner home this year," the aged woman speaks in an stern tone, "you know the statistics regarding soulmates."

the senior continues bobbing her head slowly, her grandmother’s ulterior motives are clear with one sentence. as reasonable and open-minded she likes to believe her grandmother is, there's always a catch. there's no way her grandmother would approve of such a future without any sacrifices from her.

joohyun feels like she’s treading on eggshells now, “but it’s much higher in seoul.”

the elderly woman tosses her a disapproving stare, “you remember what i said last year, don’t you?”

the senior tightens her jaw and nods, she can’t bear to look at the woman next to her. being from a wealthy and traditional family has never felt more imprisoning.

"good, this is your final year." her grandmother says with a pleased smile. "we're going to start looking for suitable partners if you don't bring anyone home next year."

between her grandmother threatening her with prospects of an arranged marriage and her aunts interrogating her about her life, she would have to pick the latter.

arranged marriages are common in her hometown where the rate of finding soulmates is ridiculously low. though it's a different story in seoul where there's a higher rate of soulmates finding each other.

this ultimatum that is delivered upon her means she has to bring her soulmate, or someone of her choosing and present them to her grandmother or she'd be married off to strengthen business ties. if she didn't agree, it's likely that she'd be kicked out of the family.

"you’re a smart girl, i’m sure you’ll understand. i can’t deny the fact that soulmates exist but we don't have to conform to that. all your aunts and uncles, including your parents, are happily married to someone who's not their soulmate, it's possible to live a life without them."

perhaps it's just her family but no one in this household are together with their soulmates. if it isn't an arranged marriage then it'll be them settling for the best they could get. at the end of the day, they are happy without the one, at least that's what her grandmother thinks — her parents would disagree.

the short conversation leaves a feeling of frustration and distaste and joohyun opts to remain silent. she didn’t want to speak out of turn, especially when it would only cause unwanted tension for the rest of the holiday. fighting her grandmother on her take on soulmates doesn’t seem like the wisest idea and she doubts the elderly woman would have a change of heart anyway.

“don’t stay up too late.” her grandmother bids her goodnight and leaves her with her thoughts.

hugging her knees to her chest, joohyun balls her hands into fists in an attempt to keep her rage from spilling. this ideology of living blissfully with someone other than your soulmate has been ingrained in her since she's a child.

and she hates it. 

how does something as simple as love get ruined by impatience and greed? being taught that it's better than finding your actual soulmate, that settling for the half of it is better?

going to seoul for university changed her entire perspective, it took her a long time to unlearn all of it. and after witnessing yongsun and byulyi's love firsthand, it makes her crave for a love like theirs too. a kind of love where happiness and warmth come in heaps and bounds.

but with how things are now, a future like that seems out of reach.

Chapter Text

the evening goes by in a flash and seungwan doesn’t think about texting joohyun till she’s all wrapped up in bed. it’s turned into somewhat of a routine to unwind by telling each other about their days and the nerd wanted to regurgitate some of her dad’s terrible jokes. 

but there’s no new messages.

when joohyun says that she'll talk to seungwan later, it's always a promise that she'll come back. but for the first time since they've started texting, joohyun hasn't returned. a lapse in their schedule leaves seungwan a little antsy, but then again it's only been a couple of hours. joohyun hasn't texted her in a while and the most logical reason she could think of is that the senior is busy with her family festivities.

so seungwan leaves it at that, but when there are no good morning texts the next day? she can't help but feel uneasy, a nagging feeling weighs heavily on her but she tries to push it to the back of her mind.

seungwan:

good morning 😊

8:45 am

hope everything's going well and you have a fun day!

8:45 am

there's no response for a day and seollal festivities took priority over worrying about joohyun, if anything they provided the optimal break from thinking about her. nothing notable really happens at home but seungwan takes the time to unwind and catch up with her family knowing that once she returns to school, it'll be the exam season. seungwan checks her phone periodically throughout the holiday, as she always does. but there are still no new messages from joohyun.

she tries not to think too much about it but this is the person she’s going to potentially spend the rest of her life with, how could she not worry?

seungwan gives in on the third day and reaches out to the only person who could assuage her worries, yeri.

seungwan:

is joohyun-unnie okay?

7:10 pm

haven't heard from her since the eve

7:10 pm

yeri:

she's been really quiet

7:23 pm

i don't know what's up

7:23 pm

seungwan:

have you talked to her much?

7:28 pm

yeri:

yeah but she's like in a really bad mood

7:30 pm

she's not talking to me either

7:30 pm

seungwan:

i'm losing my mind over here

7:31 pm

yeri:

drop her a text maybe she'll respond now

7:31 pm

seungwan:

and if she doesn't?

7:31 pm

yeri:

i'll pester her on your behalf

7:31 pm

go talk to her she's really killing the mood around here

7:31 pm

seungwan:

are you okay?

7:33 pm

i'm worried about you

7:34 pm

i'll be here if you need to talk

7:37 pm

seungwan stares at her phone for the longest time, waiting for joohyun to come online and respond like she usual. but her screen times out before joohyun replies and she's on the verge of giving up.

she's tempted to give joohyun a call, but that would mean revealing herself. though she's become more receptive to the idea of joohyun being kiyub, it doesn't feel right to do it through a call. if she's going to reveal herself to joohyun, she's going to say it to her face. she doesn't want to hide behind a digital barrier even though it's safe and familiar. her soulmate deserves to see her true colors, even if she doesn't like it very much. 

the least joohyun deserves is to know her for who she really is.

a buzz from her phone interrupts her train of thought and seungwan jumps to look at it.

joohyun-unnie

2 messages

she doesn't waste a second and opens the messages with anticipation.

joohyun-unnie:

sorry for worrying you

7:41 pm

haven’t been in the best mood to talk

7:41 pm

seungwan:

it's okay

7:41 pm

i'm just glad you replied

7:41 pm

wanna hear about my day instead?

7:41 pm

joohyun-unnie:

i could use a laugh

7:42 pm

seungwan:

you make me sound like your personal clown 😔

7:42 pm

but okay since you're sad, have a laugh on the house

7:42 pm

joohyun-unnie:

🤨

7:42 pm

seungwan:

i lost four times in a row in yutnori

7:43 pm

joohyun-unnie:

isn't that an easy game?

7:43 pm

seungwan:

it's not that easy … 🙄

7:43 pm

joohyun-unnie:

bet i can kick your butt with my eyes closed

7:43 pm

seungwan:

that's not very nice 😤

7:44 pm

i have terrible luck

7:44 pm

joohyun-unnie:

i don't care~

7:44 pm

we should play sometime

7:44 pm

seungwan:

after the exams! i can't let my grades slip because you want to bully me in yutnori

7:45 pm

joohyun-unnie:

i'm not going to bully you!!

7:45 pm

anyway, i'm going to be offline for a couple of days

7:45 pm

don't be too worried about me, i just need some time alone

7:45 pm

seungwan:

did something happen with your family?

7:45 pm

joohyun-unnie:

i'd rather not talk about it

7:46 pm

seungwan:

okay, if there's anything you need i'll be here

7:46 pm

i appreciate you telling me ahead of time and i hope you feel better soon

7:46 pm

joohyun-unnie:

thank you seungwan~ enjoy the rest of the holidays

7:47 pm

let's meet for a meal after our papers?

7:47 pm

seungwan:

of course, have a safe trip back!

7:47 pm

joohyun goes offline and seungwan is left with a gaping hole in her chest. it sucks to get comfortable with kiyub only to have her dip a week later. but if this is what joohyun needs, then she'd gladly oblige.

coming back from seollal, students are welcomed back with the stress of the end year exams. whoever's idea it was to have important tests right after a holiday was truly evil. on top of that, being overly worried about kiyub was just icing on the cake.

seungwan never thought she’d be one of those people who would be so gloomy without their soulmates, but here she is moping over joohyun’s absence in her life. even if it’s missing her texts throughout the day, at least they gave her something to look forward to. they haven’t even been texting that long but maybe it’s the attraction that makes it feel like she’ll never be able to find joy without joohyun in her life. more dramatically, the absence of kiyub is turning into a void that's swallowing up her ability to feel any positive emotions.

she spends the first couple of days brooding over joohyun’s reasons for ghosting but then she walks out of her first paper without her usual confidence. seungwan would say she’s a pretty diligent student, she listens to lectures, studies almost daily, so being uncertain about the syllabus is literally impossible. but when she doubts her answers on multiple questions, she knows she has to do something before she flunks the rest of her papers.

the only way she knows how to get rid of her feelings is to repress them, every ounce of her mental strength is used to lock away any emotion that's associated with joohyun.  

a week passes in a flash when the fear of getting anything but a distinction takes precedence over being a functioning human being. seungwan spends most of it constantly buried in her books. studying always made her forget that there’s more to life than complex mathematical formulas. without her realising, she finished most of her papers without thinking much about joohyun.

it's not that seungwan doesn't miss her but thinking about joohyun kind of sucks big time. she doesn't even want to think about her first words even though fantasizing about eloquent verses tend to bring joy to her.

it's just easier to not think about her icky little emotions in a situation that she has no control over, joohyun will come back when she’s ready and seungwan can wait.

"i called you like three times," yongsun grumbles from the entrance of joohyun's room, "why is your phone off?"

"i didn't want to be distracted when i'm studying." the model responds with a nonchalant shrug.

her roommate cusses under her breath, "well, keep it on, i got you dinner since you didn't reply."

looking up from her laptop, joohyun forces a small smile of gratitude, "thanks, yong."

"how's your revision coming along?" yongsun lingers with worry clouding her eyes, she knows joohyun has been off since she came back from seollal but she chalks it up to stress due to the impending exams.

"good."

"is your project done?"

"yes, we're all set for the final submission. all that's left are the written papers."

"okay, great."

the conversation dips into an apprehensive silence and joohyun watches yongsun with a piercing gaze, hoping that it’ll be enough for her roommate to get the hint and leave her alone. and thankfully, she does. the brunette nods and takes her leave promptly, shutting the door in the process.

joohyun runs a hand through her hair and reclines in her chair. instinctively, she reaches for her phone to text seungwan but puts it back down before even switching it on. her emotions have been all over the place since her rather unpleasant chat with her grandmother a few days ago. she hates that it affects her more than it should but it's her life that's being wagered here, being upset is more than valid.

it’s harrowing to feel that you’re running out of time when you’ve barely started living. her grandmother and her silver tongue could convince anyone that there’s no difference in finding your soulmate or not, but not joohyun. she knows the traditions of her family all too well, she listened to her mother lament for hours on end about how miserable she is to be stuck with her father. and she’s afraid that she’ll end up like her, trapped in a life that she has no control over.

but even if she has time left, it feels pretty fucking hopeless at this point. how is she going to find the one in a year? it’s futile to even try, where is she going to even start? maybe she should just accept her fate has been set in stone. maybe in a year, it won’t feel like her world is crashing down on her.

and until she gets a proper hold on her emotions, she’s not going to talk to anyone.

her feelings are hers to deal with, she’s not going to put this weight on yongsun or seungwan. it’s not anyone else’s problem but hers. 

the days go by blandly, nothing interesting ever happens during the exam season. everyone's too busy struggling with last-minute revisions to stir up any sort of trouble. seungwan has pretty much settled into a simple pattern consisting of studying and binging anime.

“how do you have time to relax?” seulgi whines when she emerges from the shower to find seungwan all snuggled up in bed.

the nerd scoffs while hitting pause on her show, “unlike you, i don’t procrastinate during the semester.”

“it’s not like i procrastinate that much!” seulgi retorts, “i just prefer to be motivated by the impending doom of a deadline.”

“that’s not the energy i’m getting from you ...” seungwan hums nonchalantly, “are you getting breakfast tomorrow?” 

she knows seulgi a little too well at this point, her best friend swears to fix her habits after every submission but never actually does. hence, she has to pull all-nighters in the days leading up to the deadline. sometimes, if she's feeling up to it, she gets breakfast for seungwan.

seulgi doesn't hold back a loud sigh as she settles into her chair, mentally preparing herself for yet another sleepless night.

"why don't you go get breakfast with joohyun-unnie or something?" seulgi grumbles, "byulyi-unnie says the psych seniors are pretty much done with school.

seungwan glances at her best friend who probably has the darkest eye bags and frowns. "we haven't been texting lately …" the introvert admits with a pout.

"wait, why?"

"something happened with her family when she went home and she wanted some time alone." a shrug of her shoulders is enough to let seulgi know that it’s not something she wants to talk about just yet.

“have you tried checking up on her?" seulgi mutters while stifling a yawn.

"no …  i don't want to pressure her into talking. she probably just needs a little space."

"well, if she doesn't text you soon, it's about time you confessed, huh?" seulgi shakes her head as she turns to her laptop.

"she asked me out for a meal after the exams and i agreed. i think i might actually do it."

"i'm really happy for you but i don't have the energy to show it," the design student sticks her thumb upwards without turning, "remind me when i'm done with this nightmare of a project."

"good luck, buddy." with a sympathetic smile, seungwan attempts to continue her show but thoughts of joohyun are slowly resurfacing.

maybe she would try to check up on joohyun.

son seungwan:

hello unnie! hope you’re doing okay

9:01 am

don’t worry about replying, i just wanted to text you for a bit.

9:01 am

good luck for the rest of your exams if you still have any! i’m sure you’ll do great!

9:01 am

there's a week left till the official end of the final exams for the entire university — but being seniors, other than their final year project, all they had was a few papers which they finished the previous week. so they're unofficially done with school for the rest of their lives.

"okay, we gotta talk." yongsun declares the moment they return to their dorm, "what's going on with you?"

the psychology majors had just handed in their final project of their entire academic lives and joohyun is feeling mentally drained to say the least.

"what?" she snaps at her friend who hasn't even taken her shoes off.

"you've been quiet and grumpy. it happens to you after every seollal but this year it's much worse." yongsun waves to her entire figure with a frown.

joohyun exhales sharply as she trudges into the apartment, feeling the fatigue settling into her bones, "can we not do this now?"

"like you're ever going to talk about your feelings without me asking?" yongsun retorts as she follows joohyun inside.

"i'm tired from the last two weeks, yong." the model mutters while grinding her teeth, "i don't want to do this now."

the brunette sighs in frustration, "you've just been insufferable to be around, you know that?"

"then leave me alone."  joohyun raises her voice slightly. 

it's taking a lot of effort to hold her temper and she really doesn't want to take it out on yongsun but fuck, the other girl is just getting on her nerves.

"i'm trying to be a good friend here, okay? you don't have to be so closed off all the time."

"i have my reasons."

"and you can't share them?"

"you wouldn't understand."

"we've been friends for 4 years, i thought you trusted me."

"i do, but you wouldn't get it! you have everything i don't! a perfect family, a plan for the future, and you have byulyi for fuck's sake. how could you ever understand when you get to chase your dreams with your soulmate by your side?" joohyun screams in a fury, unleashing all her pent up anger on her close friend.

yongsun gapes in shock at joohyun's sudden outburst and takes an uneasy step back. the realisation at what she's just done causes her to look for an escape. joohyun retreats to her room before the guilt settles in, ending their argument before she ruins their friendship entirely. 

she isn't jealous of yongsun, she could never be. but how could yongsun even begin to understand the extent of what she's missing when she has it all? there's no way someone who's never been in her shoes can even begin to empathise with how all of this feels for her.

joohyun isn't a perfect person, much to the contrary of her online persona and to everyone's ideals. just because her flaws aren't visible doesn't mean they don't exist. she has plenty and locking people out of her world when she's overwhelmed by her emotions might be the most toxic one of all.

her feelings, her problem. simple as that.

son seungwan:

i’m almost done with my papers!

3:38 pm

hope you’re doing well too!

3:38 pm

looking forward to our yutnori competition soon 😉 

3:38 pm

the guilt eventually attempts to swallow joohyun whole and she hates the tension between her and yongsun. she attempts to apologize with the only way she knows how to — takeout food. yongsun had been hiding out in byulyi's dorm because the atmosphere at their apartment has been downright depressing. the model had ordered a bunch of yongsun's favourites and waited till she got back. apologizing isn't always the easiest thing to do, she's spent many nights thinking of how horrible of a person she is to hurt someone who's merely concerned for her.

she loves their friendship too much to let it die like this, so she musters the courage to apologize. knocking on yongsun's door shouldn't feel this difficult but the guilt is almost suffocating when she stands outside the door of yongsun's room. joohyun fiddles with her fingers as she waits, the longer she waits, the more antsy she gets.

"yong, are you free?" joohyun calls out as she raps her knuckles against the wooden door again.

hearing some shuffling coming from the other side, she takes a step back as yongsun pulls the door open. 

with indifference plastered on her face, yongsun looks at her roommate blankly. "do you need something?"

"i want to apologize," joohyun mumbles while avoiding eye contact, "i shouldn't have taken out my anger on you. i know you were worried and i wasn’t thinking straight. i'm really sorry and i hope we can still remain friends because i really cherish our friendship."

yongsun moves her hand and with joohyun's gaze drawn to the ground, she isn't sure what her roommate is actually doing. that is until she feels a hard flick of a finger against her forehead. pain radiates through the center of her forehead and she flinches in surprise.

she looks up at her roommate only to see her with a teary smile, "idiot." yongsun mutters while shaking her head.

"i got tteokbokki too if you accept my apology." joohyun smiles weakly as she rubs her sore forehead.

"only if you tell me what's bothering you," the brunette says firmly while folding her arms across her chest, "if you really cherish our friendship, having proper conversations is important too."

the model nods without much hesitation, arguing with yongsun is never fun and she's glad to have her friend back. after fussing for a little, the seniors finally settle into the comfy couch in the living room.

"alright spill, you've apologized and fed me so i'm ready to listen." yongsun demands as she faces her brooding friend.

joohyun exhales while glancing at the other girl, "what do you want to know?"

with a quiet hum, yongsun ponders for a moment, "what are you willing to tell me?"

"i really don't want to talk about this." joohyun mumbles uncomfortably. talking about feelings has never been her forte, she much prefered to keep them to herself. but during the last few years with yongsun, she's been learning to open up and embrace the relief that comes with vulnerability — though she's not very good at it yet.

the brunette clicks her teeth and jabs her lightly, "but it's made you so upset, and you rarely show your emotions."

they've spoken about their families before but joohyun never revealed too much. with her looks and popularity, coupling it with how she's from a filthy rich family only makes her a perfect target for gossipmongers. yongsun knows a little about her family, merely to the extent of how conservative they could be and nothing more.

"fine, it's just some things my grandmother said during seollal." the model flops a hand lazily to extenuate the situation.

"bae joohyun. don't downplay it, if it bothers you, it bothers you." yongsun chides seriously with concern laced in her tone, "you don't have to tell me everything, but why does what she said make you so upset?"

she's thought about this long and hard. and it all boils down to a simple conclusion.

she wants to find her soulmate, no matter how long it takes. no matter what if it's against her family's wishes. she craves love from the one person that's meant for her.

and her grandmother is robbing her of the chance to do so.

"it feels like i'm just an asset to the family. like i have no worth other than being the oldest grandchild." joohyun admits softly after piecing her thoughts together.

yongsun scoots a little closer to her and joohyun can feel an aura of sympathy radiating off her without looking. "you know that’s not true, right?” yongsun whispers gently.

“of course i do,” joohyun mumbles with a heavy sigh, “it’s just … my family will only see me for what i can offer and not who i am.”

“and that makes you upset.”

“and that makes me upset.” the model reaffirms with a nod.

“you can’t make them see your value if they don’t want to acknowledge it in the first place,” yongsun slings an arm around joohyun’s shoulder and pulls her into a side hug, “and all you gotta know is everyone around you loves you as you are.”

joohyun smiles and leans into her embrace, “thanks, yong. it’s cheesy but i appreciate it.”

"and look, whatever happens with your family, you'll always find a safe space with me, okay?" the brunette nudges her lightly.

the model nods while looking up at her roommate who's much too kind to someone like her. there's nothing better than someone taking the time to be gentle with you. maybe she'd like that quality in her soulmate as well.

yongsun lets out a sigh of relief, "so will you stop being an idiot and actually talk about your feelings in the future?"

"maybe. you know i hate being vulnerable."

"i know, but what if it's with your soulmate?"

her soulmate. it sounds almost comical at this point. it's possible that they don't even exist yet, or they're in a different part of the world entirely. either way, she's not too optimistic about finding them. her family's statistics do not bode well for her, even if she's in a different city now.

the smaller girl licks her lips with furrowed brows, "maybe things will change when i find them but it's not like it'll happen any time soon."

"how do you know that for sure? they could be anywhere, maybe they've even spoken to you." yongsun prattles suggestively.

"i've had their first words etched in my brain for the longest time," joohyun huffs as she flexes her tattoo, "i'm pretty sure i wouldn't let them go if i ever heard them."

yongsun snickers at the words on her roommate's wrist, "i can't even imagine the situation in which they would say that, you gotta promise to let me know how it all goes down."

"if it happens at all."

"stop raining on your own parade, idiot. be a little more positive, would you?"

"fine, fine,” joohyun scoffs, ”how should we celebrate the end of our academic life then?"

"i had plans but i was going to cancel them since you were so snappy, but ..." yongsun grins, "byul asked if she could use our apartment for a post-exam celebration cum birthday party for her friend."

"no way." joohyun flat out rejects the idea the moment yongsun finishes her sentence.

"look, it'll be fun," the brunette whines, "everyone is either going to be moving home or celebrating, you know how the end semester parties are like, especially with those creative majors."

joohyun groans as she leaves yongsun's embrace to face her roommate fully, "how did we go from a serious talk to discussing if we should have a party here?"

"is that a yes?" yongsun wiggles her eyebrows with a cocky smirk.

with a playful shove and exasperated sigh, joohyun agrees, "you have my permission but i'm not sticking around long. just promise me you'll keep everyone out of my room and i'll sleep in byul's dorm for the night."

"done."

it's not the first time they've hosted parties, having the biggest dorms on campus meant that they were the most inclined to do so. and they did for a little, when they were younger and dumber. but their days of hosting were shortlived because joohyun got fed up with the amount of cleaning they had to do the next day. it's fun but the hassle just isn't worth it. besides, they'll be moving out in a couple of weeks anyway, she might as well let yong do whatever she wants.

"and the place will be clean when i'm back."

"if you come back at night, then done."

"go nuts."

"you are truly the greatest woman of this generation, bae joohyun." yongsun winks as she tackles joohyun into a big hug.

it’s a couple days before seulgi’s birthday and seungwan’s already has a gift prepared for the design major, it’s not much but she figures seulgi could really use an upgrade on her battered graphics tablet. that’s one of her major concerns settled, the whole kiyub feelings thing is being repressed so that’s settled too. all that's left is to ace her final upcoming paper and they'll be having a long awaited break soon enough.

a knock on her dorm door breaks her focused silence and seungwan shrugs it off, nobody ever comes looking for her. if sooyoung visits, seulgi usually picks her up so the only possibility is that whoever’s at the door isn’t looking for her. her roommate’s out to meet with her project mates so if they would kindly leave so she can go back to studying, that would be great. 

after waiting for a few seconds, silence greets her and she returns back to her books. she manages to finish off another question before there’s a knock yet again. putting down her pen, she hesitates if she should get up and answer the door.

but before seungwan could make a proper decision, the door bursts open to reveal sooyoung with irritation plastered all over her face.

“didn’t you hear me knock, unnie?” she huffs in annoyance as she makes her way into the room, shutting the door behind her.

over the years, as terrifying as sooyoung is, she knows the younger girl can’t get away with bullying her — too much at least. it’s not like she’s afraid of sooyoung but seungwan would prefer to not spend time alone with her, she’s a little nicer when seulgi’s around. nonetheless, despite all this, the introvert still considers her a close friend.

“yes … but it’s not like you've ever knocked.” seungwan responds softly with uncertainty lacing her tone. 

sooyoung visits sometimes, but today is a wednesday afternoon and seulgi usually has classes till late in the evening — sooyoung should know this well. it didn’t make sense for the younger girl to be here when her soulmate isn’t.

the highschooler chucks her bag aside and makes herself comfortable on seulgi's bed as she always does and bobs her head, “fair point.”

the younger girl then proceeds to stare at her phone so seungwan assumes it’s safe to return to her books. but before she could even read the next question, sooyoung exhales loudly.

“aren’t you going to ask why i’m here?”

“you’re only ever here for seulgi.” seungwan deadpans as she skims over the next practice question.

“fair point yet again,” sooyoung hums, “i want to do something for her birthday, it’s this weekend, you know that right?” she asks pointedly.

seungwan is offended at the statement, the audacity of this girl to question whether she knows her best friend’s birthday, they’ve celebrated every single birthday together since they were 7. 

“of course i do!” seungwan replies a little more defensively than she intends to, “we usually do a small celebration the day before."

sooyoung raises her eyebrows in amusement,  “oh? i wasn’t aware of this.”

“seulgi has told you, you probably just forgot.” seungwan grumbles, feeling her annoyance grow at the sight of her unwanted guest.

the younger girl mumbles disinterestedly, “oh, probably.”

silence befalls the two yet again and seungwan can’t shake the feeling that sooyoung needs something from her. other than tutoring, she’s never asked for any help, it's just not like her to do so.

“so, what do you want?” she eventually gives in to the younger girl, the sooner the demon gets what she wants, the sooner she can go back to her revision.

“thought you’d never ask,” the highschooler cracks into a small smile as strolls over and takes a seat next to the introvert, “look, seulgi’s turning 21, shouldn’t we celebrate with a party or something?”

hearing the word ‘party’ brings her back to new year’s eve, which leads her to memories of the party and joohyun. she tenses up and forces a quick shake of her head, “you can organize one if you want to but leave me out of this, i’m celebrating with seul a day before and that’s that.”

“unnie, please ..?” sooyoung whines with puppy eyes. to anyone who isn’t familiar with the giant’s personality, she could probably melt hearts with ease, but to seungwan, she knows all too well that she’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“no.” seungwan denies firmly as she returns to her books.

“you owe me one,” the younger girl nudges her roughly, “i totally helped you with joohyun-unnie.”

well, to be fair, sooyoung did get them on talking terms. without her, seungwan wouldn’t know how much progress she could’ve made on her own. so she has two choices here, agree and plan a party for seulgi’s birthday or disagree and suffer at the hands of sooyoung until she agrees. so technically, either choice would lead to the same outcome, she might as well bite the bullet and get it over with, at least she’ll have more time to plan.

“i will help, but just to be clear, you’re going to be in charge.” seungwan jabs the younger girl sternly.

to her surprise and shock, sooyoung wraps her in a quick embrace, “thanks unnie! i've already got the location down so i just need you to help with some logistics, and probably hiding this from my baby."

sighing softly, seungwan nods, "just tell me what i have to do and i'll try to get it done, you're not giving me much time so i'll make no promises."

"you're son seungwan, i know you'll get it done." sooyoung grins widely. 

this is probably the first time that the highschooler has been this nice to her and it’s probably just because she needs something from her. well, the only thing she has planned for the days after her exams is to mope over joohyun’s absence. helping sooyoung with her surprise sounds like a much better use of her time.

son seungwan:

i'm done with my papers!

10:34 pm

i miss talking to you throughout the day 😔

10:34 pm

remember to drink plenty of water, unnie! i'll be waiting for your grand return!

10:35 pm

a chorus of hellos greets seungwan upon entering a discord call on a friday night. her party had been graciously waiting for her since she'd been busy helping sooyoung with seulgi’s surprise. apparently, logistics meant getting everything from food to drinks to decorations. 

running around to help sooyoung after her final paper isn't the relaxation she had in mind and it makes it a lot harder to hide from seulgi. not that the design student would notice anyway, the poor girl has been trying to stay ahead of her submission deadlines which thankfully happens to be a day before her actual birthday.

“you’re late, unnie.” yeri's voice fills her headset.

"sorry, i was busy with something." seungwan apologizes as she logs into the game, park sooyoung really knows how to work her to the bone. 

"texting joohyun-unnie?" yeri teases.

seungwan feels her heart wrench at the assumption but tries to hide her disappointment anyway, "we haven’t talked since seollal."

"what? i thought everything was okay after you texted her," the younger girl exclaims, “she stopped being all detached and whatnot.”

“she said she needed some time alone, we’ll probably talk when she feels better.” seungwan murmurs as she prepares her character for the upcoming boss run. frankly, she didn't feel like talking about joohyun. she just wants to have fun with her friends and not think about the worry that's built up in her chest.

“aight, who is this joohyun-unnie?” luna interjects before yeri could continue interrogating her for details.

“a friend.” seungwan responds swiftly, she knows the amount of teasing she’d have to endure if yeri got a word in before her.

“a friend,” the archer snorts, “no wonder you make for such a good imposter.”

"yah yeri, lay off her, we all know it’s a lie," luna comes to her defence easily or so she thought, "as if we don’t know she has like one real-life friend."

"that's kinda mean, luna," seungwan grumbles indignantly, "i'll have you know that i have three now!"

oobie chimes in with a loud cheer, "ooh, do tell, miss azure."

“hey, hey, let me talk! i wanna know what’s up with joohyun-unnie!” yeri speaks over the other party members easily, this little archer is a force of nature compared to the other members.

“ma’am, we have a boss run, can we do the therapy session after?” bread sighs loudly as he moves his character around from left to right.

“shush, ahjussi,” yeri snaps, “we can do both at the same time.”

and so they do. they are veterans when it came to bosses, knowing the mechanics at the back of their hand allows them to slaughter each one without much trouble. thus, between dodging attacks and dealing damage, yeri manages to drill seungwan for more information. and well, seulgi has been too busy to listen to her vent so her online buddies are her next best outlet.

“okay, so what did she say?”

“she didn’t tell me anything, she asked for space and i’m giving it to her.” the introvert mumbles tiredly for the third time, it hasn’t even been a full half-hour since she’s joined the call.

“isn’t that like a girl’s code for ‘please give me more attention’?” luna muses densely. 

seungwan couldn’t hold back a sigh at that comment. perhaps to someone like luna it’ll seem like joohyun wants extra attention but in the short time they’ve spent talking, the nerd knows that her soulmate doesn’t exactly enjoy the popularity that comes with her hobby.

“she’s not like that, i think whatever happened at home probably affected her mood big time.” seungwan reckons as she moves her character with precision when a full map attack is launched upon them.

a screech is heard from one of the members but yeri ignores it and continues talking. “yeah it did, like, she’s always been aloof but this year is different.” the younger girl mumbles, “it’s like she’s angry or something.”

“she maldin’?” bread chuckles.

seungwan rolls her eyes at the insult, “even if she was bald, she’s still pretty to me.”

“azure, it sounds like you’re pretty whipped.” oobie teases in a sing-song tone.

a dramatic gasp erupts from someone’s mic but no one’s come close to dying, let alone taking any damage. confusion ensues and is only clarified when yeri speaks.

“i might have told our grandmother about her instagram but she already knew about it in the first place,” yeri babbles, the sheer panic in her voice is a rarity, “maybe they talked and it made her upset.”

“if it’s really your fault, i’m kicking you out of the party.” seungwan threatens almost instantly. the introvert can’t help but feel protective over joohyun — this is kiyub that they’re talking about, if she could, she would rend whoever hurts her to pieces.

yeri whines as she uses a sad emote on her character, “don’t worry, i’ll fix it.”

“how–”

the nerd is interrupted mid-sentence when bread cries out in a panic when he’s hit for more than half his health. “yo fuck, pause whatever the heck this discussion is! i’m going to die out at this rate!”

the call lapses into focused silence; the only sounds that could be heard are call-outs of whatever attacks are being thrown at them. it doesn’t take more than five minutes but the silence is a nice escape from yeri’s incessant talking.

“god, we’re so fucking good at this game!” luna yells when they finish the run for what feels like the nth time of their entire game careers.

yeri retorts mockingly, “you’re down to your last life, you would’ve died without azure’s heals.”

"aight, i'm doing a deathless run next week. watch me."

"and if you don't?"

"then i never said it."

"you're really giving off smooth brain energy tonight, bud."

the earlier conversation regarding joohyun is buried with usual banter from her friends. boss runs with her party is always a nice reprieve from reality. it's relaxing to be with people without having to constantly be engaged in conversations. usually, thoughts of the real world don't come to mind but today, she can't seem to stop her brain from flitting to joohyun.

the idea of admitting that this attraction is turning into a little more than just infatuation is something she's going to have to learn to accept before she comes face to face with joohyun again.

yerimie:

are you still up?

1:58 am

did halmoni say anything to you during seollal?

1:58 am

like after dinner

1:58 am

joohyun:

why are you still awake?

2:05 am

yerimie:

wow you really replied me and not azure?

2:08 am

also because i can’t sleep till you answer me

2:08 am

joohyun:

why?

2:09 am

yerimie:

you were pretty upset during seollal and i didn't think it was that serious but azure just said you guys weren't talking

2:09 am

so i need to know if i'm at fault

2:09 am

joohyun:

you're so sweet for checking up on me

2:09 am

i thought you had a heart you brat 🙄

2:09 am

yerimie:

so halmoni said something?

2:10 am

sorry unnie 😔😔😔 i just thought your instagram would be a fun thing to talk about

2:10 am

joohyun:

it's fine, it's not your fault

2:10 am

she was going to bring it up regardless

2:10 am

whatever i was upset about has nothing to do with you or seungwan

2:10 am

yerimie:

okay that's a relief

2:11 am

can you text her then?

2:11 am

joohyun:

seungwan?

2:11 am

maybe tomorrow, i'm going to be busy today

2:11 am

yerimie:

share your feelings with her!!! she's a great listener

2:12 am

i speak from experience 😉

2:12 am

joohyun:

that's good to know but i can't believe the poor girl listens to you

2:12 am

yerimie:

😉 everyone loves me

2:12 am

joohyun:

i'm sleeping

2:12 am

yerimie:

nights unnie

2:12 am

for the little nerd's personal celebration with seulgi, they celebrate in their dorm in the middle of the night when the horrible procrastinator finally wakes up from her well-deserved nap that started right after she finished her final submissions. they were supposed to get dinner together but seulgi was knocked out all the way till it was dark out, so seungwan leaves her gift on the desk with a note letting her know that there’s a slice of chocolate cake in the mini-fridge.

needless to say, when seulgi finally awakens from her deep slumber, her squeals of excitement wake her best friend up. they share the chocolate cake in the dark with nothing but the moonlight shining on them, perhaps it’s these little moments that make her love her best friend more with each day.

she wonders if things could be like that with her soulmate someday, there’s a joohyun-shaped space in her chest now and well, it feels like nobody else could ever fill it. the feelings that linger in joohyun’s absence only seem to prove an irrefutable fact — she is kiyub. seungwan doesn’t know how long she's been trying to deny this attraction, but it becomes a little easier to accept with each day. somewhere along the line of getting to know joohyun and joohyun dipping, she’s made up her mind to talk to kiyub the next time they meet, whenever that might be.

she wants to experience a world knowing where someone will love all of her without hesitation. she wants a world with kiyub that exists outside the boundaries of text messages. the urge for something more slowly begins to outweigh her fear of rejection.

she wants joohyun to know that they're soulmates.

Chapter Text

seungwan is certain that seulgi’s birthday could be compared to an event like the first moon landing — that’s how extravagant sooyoung is trying to make it. sooyoung doesn’t tell the nerd much, just the bare minimum details like the time, date and location of the party. everything else had to be a secret and despite all of that, seungwan still managed to help out with everything behind the scenes. and for the actual day, thankfully, her sole task is to escort seulgi to the location.

the birthday girl arranges a make up dinner considering she slept through their supposed celebratory dinner yesterday. seungwan agrees, it makes things easier since she has to bring seulgi to the surprise party anyway.

sooyoung had been texting her incessantly since she parted from seulgi after their date in the afternoon and seungwan found it a little amusing that she’s being so anxious over a surprise party. as if seulgi would love her any lesser if it flopped, these two little shits had heart eyes for each other all the time.

seulgi’s demon:

let me knwo when u’re leaving ok!

7:33 pm

seulgi’s demon:

are u guys on the way soon?

7:38 pm

seulgi’s demon:

sEuNGWAN UNNIE!!!!

7:40 pm

seulgi’s demon:

unNINEINIENIENE!!!!!!

7:43 pm

seungwan:

could you just calm down?

7:45 pm

seul’s getting changed now we’ll be out in 5

7:45 pm

be there by 8

7:45 pm

seulgi’s demon:

ok good

7:45 pm

sorry i’m just nervous

7:45 pm

seungwan:

you know she’ll love it no matter what right?

7:46 pm

seulgi’s demon:

yeah but i just want it to be perfect :/

7:46 pm

seungwan:

never thought i’d see the day park sooyoung turns into a perfectionist

7:46 pm

seulgi’s demon:

🙄 shut up?

7:46 pm

the location of the surprise party is at the cygnus hall, one of the other student residences in school but it’s slightly bigger since the students there get apartments instead of tiny dorm rooms. they’re usually meant for scholars on the director’s list and though seungwan is on it as well, between living in a cushy apartment with a stranger and dorming with her best friend, she had to pick the latter.

seungwan manages to lead her all the way to the entrance before seulgi realises what’s going on, a huge grin sprouts on her face and she’s unable to mask her surprise.

“am i allowed to ask what’s going on?” seulgi smiles while they step into the elevator.

seungwan pouts slightly, “should’ve known bringing you here unblindfolded would’ve ruined half the surprise already.”

the taller girl wraps an arm around her little nerd and squeezes her tightly, “it’s okay wannie, blindfolding me would’ve made me suspicious from the start.”

the elevator doors ding open and seungwan leads seulgi to the apartment where her surprise is waiting. she confirms the apartment number with a quick glance before ushering seulgi towards the door.

seulgi looks at her, then the door, before shrugging slightly and opening it. as soon as the knob turns, a chorus of cheers and hoots can be heard erupting from the tiny apartment. 

“happy birthday seulgi!” seungwan joins in the cheers as she shoves her best friend into the apartment.

there’s more people in here than what’s probably allowed but it’s not like anyone really cares, it’s kang seulgi’s birthday, rules are meant to be broken on occasions like this. sooyoung is the first to greet them and she acknowledges seungwan’s presence with a small wink before proceeding to make out with her girlfriend in front of all her friends. shaking her head and sighing, seungwan slinks away to the kitchen and watches seulgi get bombarded by all her friends.

electronic music begins blaring much to her distaste, she pours herself a cup of whatever soda is available while she watches the party go on without her. sooyoung did tell her that she could leave once seulgi’s here, not because she didn’t want the nerd around but because she knew that seungwan would feel more than uncomfortable if seulgi is too busy to keep her safe from strangers. well, she’s right about that, seungwan feels out of place despite having experienced the new year’s eve party with absolute strangers. to be fair, she did have byulyi around her for the entire night, but there’s no one that she recognises now and hence the resurfacing anxiety.

seungwan rests her arms on the kitchen counter and whips out her phone and takes a couple of photos of seulgi before quietly navigating to discord to look for a lifeline.

she figures she’d stay for a little, linger a while just in case seulgi needs her and then dip. for the most part, it isn't so bad to just watch from the sidelines. she probably looks like a sad little nerd right now, it’s okay because she’ll be out in under ten minutes.

yeri today at 8:17 pm

didn't you say you were gonna be busy with seulgi's party?

why are you here??

azure today at 8:17 pm

:( don't chase me away

i'm leaving in 5 minutes anyway

parties aren't my thing if you haven't noticed

luna today at 8:18 pm

yeah i bet

the only parties you ever go to are boss parties 🙄

bread today at 8:18 pm

kekW

azure today at 8:18 pm

😔😔 i'm retiring as a bishop

oobie today at 8:18 pm

azure noOooooo :(!!

@luna shut up meanie

luna today at 8:19 pm

🤡

yeri today at 8:19 pm

while since you're here

what's the situation with joohyun-unnie?

azure today at 8:19 pm

same old?

yeri today at 8:19 pm

oh.

i talked with her last night and she said she'll text you soon

i'm starting to hate this slow burn

azure today at 8:20 pm

what do you mean by slow burn 😒

yeri today at 8:20 pm

what's so hard about talking like??? you could call her right now and confess???

oobie today at 8:20 pm

don't listen to her zuzu

you take your time!! we'll be here waiting with you!! 😤

azure today at 8:20 pm

thanks oob 🥺

yeri today at 8:21 pm

wait oob you don't even know the situation 😠😠😠

she’s spent the last few weeks avoiding her soulmate

azure today at 8:21 pm

i am NOT avoiding her!!

it's just we haven't had time to meet

oobie today at 8:21 pm

zuzu i love you but what the heck?

azure today at 8:21 pm

i'll talk to her soon!!! 😔

bread today at 8:22 pm

sounds fake but okay …

yeri today at 8:22 pm

anyone wanna make bets on when she'll actually reveal herself?

luna today at 8:22 pm

😗 i'm in

next cosmetic update lookin kinda juicy ..

getting roasted by her buddies forces a sigh from her lungs, she watches as they place bets on when she'll actually confess. typical of them but perhaps this is how absurd the whole situation is in the eyes of others. and she feels dumb because deep down she knows that there's no way joohyun would reject her. but the girl on new year's day had no clue what the goddess is actually like. maybe it’s a good thing that she feels dumb.

“are you okay, seungwan?" a concerned voice pipes up, causing her to look up from her device.

yongsun stands beside her with a small smile, the flush on her skin tells seungwan that the partygoers probably did a little pre-drinking before seulgi's arrival. 

pulling her eyes away from the senior, she nods softly. “i’m okay, just waiting for a little before i leave." the little nerd reassures, mildly glad that someone is concerned about her.

“leave? isn't it a little early?" the brunette asks while taking a sip of her drink.

seungwan shakes her head as she watches seulgi down yet another shot, wincing as she thinks of how hungover her best friend is going to be tomorrow. “someone has to take care of seulgi when she drinks like that."

yongsun chuckles quietly under her breath, “i don’t suppose you trust sooyoung enough to take care of her."

“sooyoung can barely take care of herself, unnie." seungwan adds with a light scoff.

the conversation dies down as the two watch as the party picks up in intensity, seulgi is downing more drinks than ever and byulyi has somehow made her way to the birthday girl as well. the two make a chaotic pair and with sooyoung around, it becomes a trio that should really be arrested before they set something on fire. but that’s not her problem to deal with tonight.

“you’ve got a cute tattoo." yongsun comments out of the blue and seungwan can’t help but feel self-conscious about how comical it seems.

turning her arm over to hide it, she shoots the brunette a weak smile, “thanks … it doesn’t mean much though, sounds more like nonsense than anything …"

“it will when you finally meet them," yongsun pats her arm gently and offers a warm smile, “i used to hate my tattoo but realising that those are byul’s first words to me changed my perspective."

seungwan smiles lightly at the sentiment but she can’t help the ache in her chest that begins to grow at the thought of kiyub, at the thought of joohyun. 

“maybe." she replies with a small shrug, taking a gulp of her drink.

the silence that settles between them doesn’t last for long as yongsun speaks yet again, it seems the senior has an ulterior motive for approaching her.

“i’ve been meaning to talk to you …" yongsun starts off uncertainly, the ambiguous sentence leaves seungwan a little nervous and she can only look at the senior with worried eyes.

yongsun senses her distress and quickly waves it off with a light chuckle, “oh it’s nothing serious, i just wanted to know what you think of joohyun."

oh, of course yongsun would know. the bubbly senior had her own soulmate after all, of course she would have recognised the signs.

“i think she’s kind, pretty and even funny sometimes." seungwan lets a smile slip, it's not exactly a lie but neither is she exactly honest either.

she knows that joohyun makes her feel more things than she could ever put into proper words.

“oh, that’s it?" yongsun raises an eyebrow, her tone indicating that she’s expecting a little more.

yongsun definitely knows.

seungwan doesn’t really feel like doing this now, the past few weeks of repressing her emotions have made her mentally exhausted and she’s not going to talk about it with a senior she barely knows. especially when said senior is close friends with the person that’s making her feel this way.

“she's a lovely person, though little guarded." seungwan tries to play it off like the last few weeks are nothing but her tone tells yongsun that it’s definitely not.

"ah …" yongsun bobs her head sympathetically, "so you were affected too …"

seungwan tosses the senior a puzzled look, "affected by what?"

"post-seollal joohyun." yongsun sighs with a wry smile and offers a gentle pat on the shoulder.

the nerd is still confused by the brunette's cryptic words, a crinkle appears between her brows as she attempts to decipher it. her tone carries nothing but confusion as she presses further, "do you mean how she's disappeared for a while?" the introvert tilts her head slightly.

yongsun nods as she busies herself with pouring a drink. "she does this every year, but this year was exceptionally bad."

seungwan tucks her phone away to focus fully on the brunette, she’s not entirely sure where this conversation is heading but she’s certain that something important is about to be unravelled. 

“some liquid courage,” yongsun hands her a cup as she takes a generous sip of her own drink, “you’re going to need it.”

the introvert accepts the cup hesitatingly, she’d never drank anything stronger than beer so diving into pure alcohol is a little daunting. the senior nudges her lightly and smiles woozily, “you won’t pass out if that’s what you’re worried about, it’ll help you loosen up so we can talk.”

trusting the senior beside her, she swallows the contents with a mix of nervousness and excitement. the liquid burns as it makes its way down her throat and she scrunches her face in disgust — she’ll never understand how seulgi is such a proficient drinker of beverages like these. yongsun lets out a snort at the younger girl’s reaction and shakes her head slowly.

“you already know what i’m going to ask next, don't you?” the brunette turns her attention to the crowd, gazing lovingly at her soulmate who’s messing around with seulgi.

seungwan feels the pounding in her chest grow a little stronger, anxiety settling in the pit of her stomach as she contemplates the question at hand. yeri knows, yongsun knows, it seems like the whole world is going to know before joohyun herself. she’s never talked about kiyub with anyone other than her close friends — it feels strange to talk about someone who you barely know but is destined to be yours. on top of that, it seems weird to pour your heart out to someone you barely know at a party that you’re just about to leave.  for a moment, she wonders if she should just be frank with the senior standing next to her. 

maybe the absence of joohyun has created an embarrassing amount of longing, or the teensy bit of alcohol in her system. she doesn’t know what prompted her to be so vulnerably honest, but she knows that it’s futile to feign ignorance at this point.

“she’s my soulmate.” the nerd blurts almost inaudibly, if it isn’t for the music, she’s sure her racing heart would have drowned out her words.

“i knew it!” the brunette grins widely as she slams down her plastic cup on the counter and it startles seungwan, “god, you two will be so cute together!”

the introvert jumps in surprise as an apologetic look finds its way on yongsun’s face almost immediately. “ah! i’m so sorry!” the senior expresses her regret with a bowed head and explains quickly, “i’ve had this gut feeling for weeks and i wanted to confirm my suspicions.”

the nerd relaxed while exhaling slowly, “and now, you want to know why i haven’t spoken to her, don’t you?”

yongsun’s lips form a sheepish grin as she bobs her head with less enthusiasm now. seungwan sighs and refills her cup, more liquid courage could do her more good than bad now. feeling the warmth run its course through her system gives her just the right amount of bravery to be as honest as she needs to be.

“i was scared of her, probably because i was insecure about myself. everything about her is just so — magnificent. and i’m just me. then comes the whole ‘i think she’s too good for me’ and just a lot of wrestling with my insecurities. that’s until i started texting her.” seungwan lets the words flow at the speed of light, she speaks so quickly that yongsun struggles to keep up, “and she still scares me, i think. but at least i know she won’t reject a dumpster fire of a soulmate like me.”

the senior purses her lips and her brows stitch together to form a crinkle between her eyes. like a fish out of the water she gapes, “yah … that’s a quick summary for events spanning almost a month.”

seungwan nods as she turns to the party, watching seulgi and sooyoung dance away to the rhythm of the music. “now you’re all caught up, i should go before i process anything i’ve just said.”

yongsun nods quietly with a knowing smile, “i’m probably not supposed to tell you this, but you’re doing something to joohyun.”

as if a sign from the powers that be couldn't be clearer, seungwan proceeds to make a speedy escape, leaving yongsun standing at the counter. 

“she’s going to be sleeping at the bootes hall tonight, at byul’s dorm on the second floor, if you feel brave enough!” yongsun calls out. seungwan pauses in her step to process the information but she notices the picture frames on the shelf by the door in the midst of her thoughts.

she’s in the shared apartment of joohyun and yongsun — well, fuck.

it’s like she walked into a lion's den without even knowing. not for any longer though, seungwan makes a hasty retreat out of the apartment and walks. the alcohol leaves a light buzz in her system but she's still more than sober after her little chat with yongsun. her emotions threaten to wash over her and seungwan can’t decide if she wants to laugh or cry, she’s not one for bold moves but holy shit, the uncertainty of this whole situation is making her incredibly anxious. 

the rapid beating of her heart has yet to slow and the exhilaration makes it hard to process her thoughts, all except one — whatever just happened sounds like progress made with kiyub.

cold winds blow her hair all over the place as she struts around campus. it’s not the most ideal weather for a stroll but seungwan needs to do something to clear her head. everything she’s been repressing for the past few weeks is bursting at the seams, emotions coming undone with every step she takes and she finally feels brave enough to admit it.

she really likes bae joohyun — and bae joohyun might like her back too.

running her hands through her hair, the nerd is feeling more than overwhelmed by her own feelings, she didn’t think it’s possible to like someone this much when you barely even know them but her heart is proving her so very wrong.

she begins formulating a plan, well, the first step is acceptance. she likes joohyun, what about it? no big deal, right? she is the prettiest senior on campus and almost any sane person would have a crush on her so seungwan is no exception to that. that makes acceptance pretty much checked out.

but accepting the possibility that joohyun could like her back is a different situation entirely and a much harder pill to swallow.

seungwan feels her insecurities and self-doubt bubbling to the surface once again but seulgi did knock some sense into her since that night, it’s not the end of the world if joohyun likes her, right?

god, but it sure feels so.

and if things couldn’t be any worse, yongsun knows now and joohyun will at some point too. seungwan has run out of time to avoid kiyub and it feels like it’s going to blow up in her face in the foreseeable future.

seungwan walks for a long time, strolling around the campus like it isn’t a freezing night in february. she finds herself outside bootes at some point but forces her legs to continue moving, she’s not ready yet. eventually, she makes her way back to her room, overthinking and walking coupled together is enough to tire her out.

joohyun is still in pretty low spirits by the time the party rolls around, she’s ready to disappear for the night. but by some obligation, she feels bad if she didn’t even attend a party that’s happening at her dorm. so she pops out of her room, has a couple of drinks and mingles about. she had no idea whose birthday it was until she was ready to leave, apparently it’s seulgi’s coming of age party. but even then, the model leaves the party by 11, not wanting to stick around for when the real chaos begins. she knows the people around here a little too well. most of the calmer ones come before midnight and the actual partygoers only begin to appear after she takes her leave.

she braves the cold to the bootes hall where byulyi's dorm is, she'd dropped off a bag of essentials earlier so she could wash up and get some sleep.

as much as the weather is warming up a little, joohyun still hates the cold with every fibre of her being. warm blankets are the way to go on nights like this. by midnight, she's tucked up in byulyi's bed, ready for a good night's rest knowing fully well that she'll probably have to help yongsun and byulyi clean up in the morning.

being all snuggled up in bed with a light buzz of alcohol lingering in her system, she whips out her phone to read recent texts from seungwan.

the younger girl sent them periodically throughout her absence and joohyun really wanted to reply to all of them but she doesn't feel exactly up for it. having a little chat with yongsun did help a little, she doesn't feel as burdened as before now that she's somewhat spoken about it.

it's coming close to three weeks since they've texted, even if she needs space, she could squeeze the younger girl into her little bubble of a world.

joohyun:

hello~ how have you been?

sorry i haven't been replying~

how did your exams go? ^_^

12:07 am

son seungwan:

welcome back!!

i've been fine, feeling pretty confident about my papers!

is everything better now?

12:11 am

joohyun:

somewhat, still a little under the weather but i'm dealing with it

12:12 am

son seungwan:

🤨 it's not very nice to lie, unnie

12:12 am

joohyun:

😔 it's not a lie!!

12:12 am

i'm really dealing with it!!

12:12 am

son seungwan:

bottling your feelings up isn't dealing with it to be clear

12:13 am

if you're not doing that then i'll believe you! 🤨

12:13 am

joohyun:

okay fine, you got me 

12:13 am

it's just that i'm stuck in a hopeless situation and there's not much i can do u_u

12:13 am

son seungwan:

if you can't do anything about it, it's best not to worry about it!

12:14 am

at least that's what i like to tell myself 👍

12:14 am

joohyun:

you're too positive e_e …

12:14 am

i wish i could think like you but it's a little too important

12:14 am

son seungwan:

ahh …

12:15 am

joohyun:

enough about me

12:15 am

what're you up to on a saturday night?

12:15 am

son seungwan:

nothing much really

12:15 am

just hanging out with some friends online

12:16 am

might turn in early since i'm beat from helping to plan for seulgi's surprise party

12:16 am

joohyun:

ah yes, the party that's, unfortunately, happening at my dorm 🙄

12:16 am

speaking of which, i didn't see you at all~

12:16 am

son seungwan:

i left after delivering seulgi 😶😶

12:17 am

parties just aren't my thing … and seul's going to be too busy to cater to me

12:17 am

joohyun:

i can relate, i left at 11 😬

12:17 am

son seungwan:

left? isn't it your dorm? where'd you go then? 😳

12:17 am

joohyun:

i'm crashing at byulyi's dorm for the night

12:18 am

her roommate's at the party too so their room is conveniently empty

12:18 am

son seungwan:

my room's going to be empty tonight too

12:18 am

it's so quiet without seulgi, i don't know if i like it

12:18 am

joohyun:

i'd take the silence over loud edm music 

12:19 am

might have given pop music a pass

12:19 am

son seungwan:

but they're both going to keep you up 🤔

12:19 am

joohyun:

at least it's a little more bearable than a couple of hours of wub wubs

12:19 am

son seungwan:

😂😂😂

12:20 am

i missed talking to you late at night

12:20 am

joohyun:

me too

12:20 am

with that, they spend a little time catching each other up on the last three weeks. seungwan tells her some terrible dad jokes she’d been saving since seollal and joohyun? well, joohyun’s just glad to have her source of comfort back.

all the gnarly little feelings that she’d been harbouring in her chest take a backseat because she could never feel bedevilled when she’s talking to seungwan.

joohyun-unnie:

honestly, do you really want to know why i disappeared for three weeks?

01:13 am

seungwan:

of course, i care about you

01:13 am

it's been a little while since they started talking and the night has only gotten darker. it seems that heart to heart conversations are best saved for twilight. regardless of the time, seungwan's still grateful that joohyun is willing to open up to her.

joohyun-unnie:

well ...

01:13 am

it's about soulmates

01:13 am

my family has a very … unique history with them

01:14 am

seungwan:

unique? 🤔

01:14 am

joohyun-unnie:

yes, no one in my family has met their soulmates

01:14 am

seungwan:

how is that possible?

01:14 am

joohyun-unnie:

it's just the norm back at home and my grandmother does her best to make it possible

01:15 am

she's turning it into a reality for me soon

01:15 am

if i never came here for school, maybe i would be okay with it

01:15 am

seungwan:

😔 don't say that

01:15 am

why'd you think it's okay without your soulmate?

01:16 am

joohyun-unnie:

it's true, if i never knew what i was missing out on, maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much

01:16 am

seungwan:

you still have an entire lifetime to find them

01:16 am

joohyun-unnie:

except i don't

01:17 am

my grandmother has given me a year to find my soulmate or i'm going to be married off

01:17 am

if you were in my shoes, what would you do?

01:17 am

seungwan:

maybe talk to your grandmother? she can't be that unreasonable right ..?

01:17 am

joohyun-unnie:

but she always gets her way

01:18 am

seungwan:

i can see why you were upset, i'd be upset too

01:18 am

it sounds … tough. it's honestly not much of a choice if you ask me, finding soulmates can’t be put against a schedule

01:18 am

the little nerd doesn't know how to really react to this piece of news. joohyun's family has a peculiar tradition, or at least it's not one that she's not too familiar with. it's not a common practise nowadays, in fact, it's considered old fashioned. a burden begins to weigh on her shoulders, if she was a little more courageous, maybe she could've saved joohyun from this anguish.

joohyun-unnie:

mhm, indeed

01:18 am

the sooner i accept that it's a hopeless situation, the better it'll be for me

01:19 am

seungwan:

you don't think that you'll find them?

01:19 am

joohyun-unnie:

i might, but i'm not optimistic about the odds

01:19 am

seungwan:

you'll find them someday, i know it!

01:19 am

joohyun-unnie:

not unless they show up at my door within the next few months

01:20 am

seungwan:

why's that?

01:20 am

joohyun-unnie:

i'll be moving back home if i don't find a job here~

01:20 am

and daegu has one of the lowest rates of soulmates amongst all the cities

01:20 am

it's pretty much, in your words, gg for me

01:21 am

seungwan:

😂 where'd you pick that up from?

01:21 am

joohyun-unnie:

i've been watching some gameplay videos on youtube 😬

01:21 am

anyway, when are you free? i haven't forgotten about our yutnori match

01:21 am

seungwan:

i'm free any day, i won't be heading home this break

01:22 am

joohyun-unnie:

lunch, tomorrow?

01:22 am

seungwan:

that works, besides i have something to tell you

01:22 am

but i have to make sure seulgi isn't terribly hungover first

01:22 am

joohyun-unnie:

i'm pretty sure i saw sooyoung at the party too, she can take care of seulgi, right?

01:23 am

and saying that you have something to tell me is just gonna make me anxious!! spill it now!!

01:23 am

seungwan:

i can't trust sooyoung. knowing them, they'll probably fall asleep in each other's puke

01:23 am

c'mon, it's a surprise~

01:23 am

joohyun-unnie:

🙄 … is it a good or bad surprise?

01:24 am

and also, that's gross … 

01:24 am

seungwan:

i know … and i think it'll be good?

01:24 am

joohyun-unnie:

you're making me worried now e_e

01:24 am

what do i have to do to get you to tell me now?

01:25 am

seungwan:

hmm …

01:25 am

answer a question?

01:25 am

joohyun-unnie:

i'm all ears

01:25 am

seungwan:

what would you do if your soulmate actually appeared in front of you?

01:26 am

joohyun-unnie:

i might just faint out of joy but who knows? 😗

01:26 am

so, what are you going to tell me?

01:26 am

she doesn't know how long she sits on her bed for, but it's enough for her screen to time out and she's left in the darkness of her dorm. picking up her phone, she dials the only number she knows to call when she doesn’t know what to do.

seungwan places the phone against her ear as it rings, she’s not even sure if seulgi will even pick up but it’s not like she has many options left. it takes a while but relief fills her when she hears the loud music blaring into her ear, wincing slightly, she pulls the phone away.

“wannie?” she hears seulgi’s muffled voice coming from the speakers.

“i’m going to do something really stupid and i-” seungwan blurts so quickly she’s not even sure if she’s saying the right words. but seulgi interrupts her mid-sentence.

“are you going to talk to joohyun?” her words are slightly slurred but somehow she’s still sober enough to be seungwan’s pillar of support, “it’s going to be okay.”

“wait,” the nerd furrows her eyebrows, “how’d you know?”

with a loud belch, seulgi clears her throat and ignores her question entirely, “talk to her, wannie. you got this, okay?”

drunken seulgi isn’t the most elegant person, but that’s a topic for another day. tonight, it’s all about kiyub.

“are you drunk?”

“mayhaps i am but even drunk me is telling you to talk to her,” seulgi yells over the music, “go talk to kiyub!”

wincing yet again, seungwan sighs in despair, “seul-ah …”

the pounding of the music fades away and the introvert assumes that seulgi has moved to a quieter place to continue their conversation.  “seungwan,” her best friend starts off in a serious tone, if seungwan didn’t know better, seulgi could definitely pass off as sober, “remember what i said? she’s going to love you and if she doesn’t, she’s going to catch sooyoung’s hands when she comes back.”

scratch that, seulgi is definitely drunk.

“there’s nothing more i can say to reassure you, wannie, you just need to muster up your courage.” her best friend sighs, “at some point, you gotta stop waiting for the universe to do shit for you.”

plopping back down onto her bed, she heaves tiredly, “you’re not making any sense right now, you know?”

“all i’m saying is you gotta stop being a passive little shit, you’ve spent long enough talking to her to know that she wouldn’t reject you. you gotta think of it like the first time you approached me as a kid, where’s that son seungwan from when we were 7?” seulgi mutters softly, her words offering a much-needed push for the little nerd.

“i was a kid, the world wasn’t so scary back then.” seungwan chuckles softly, she was so much bolder at 7 than she is now.

“but joohyun isn’t the world.”

“no she isn’t, but i’m so nervous anyway.”

“if she knew, i think she’d be scared too.”

seungwan falls silent as she bites down on her lower lip and exhales softly. why did seulgi have to make such good points? 

“you can do this, okay? if it’s genuinely too much for you to handle, call me and i will be back.”

“can you even walk straight?”

“can you?”

“ugh, shut up.”

“i love you, wannie, now go get your soulmate and don’t forget to update me in the morning!”

"don't drink too much, i'll be over at-"

seulgi cuts the call with a loud cackle, leaving seungwan in the silence by her lonesome, she huffs and lies back down in her bed. she waits it out in the darkness, staring at her ceiling as her mind whirls around thoughts of joohyun.

joohyun-unnie

1 message

seungwan doesn't know where she gets the courage from but this spurt of bravery is all she needs. she clings to it, not wanting it to slip away otherwise she might just cower behind a screen again. and she runs once again, but this time, it's not away from joohyun — she's going to get her soulmate.

she runs. she runs in the dead of night. she runs through campus grounds despite the freezing temperatures.

that leads her to finding herself at the bootes hall, panting and gasping for breath as if she's completed a marathon. through sheer willpower, she turns the ten-minute walk from aquila to bootes into a five-minute sprint. she shoves the thought of getting into shape for later and clambers up the stairs two at a time. leaning against the wall, she takes a moment to catch her breath before continuing on her quest for her soulmate.

she finds byulyi's dorm with ease since it's right next to the stairs. the chalkboard next to the door had scribbles on it but at least there's some confirmation that she's at the right room

'moonbyul & hani'

that's good enough for her. whipping her phone out, she looks at joohyun's recent messages.

joohyun-unnie:

yah son seungwan, you're making me antsy here

01:37 am

did you fall asleep?

01:37 am

seungwan:

no i didn't

01:37 am

open the door

01:37 am

joohyun-unnie:

yah … i almost fell asleep

01:38 am

what door?

01:38 am

seungwan doesn't reply but instead, she knocks on the wooden door in front of her. she hears silence from the other side and stares at the chat intently, joohyun is still online but there's no reply. her breathlessness doesn't make her feel as anxious as she should be and it's a great feeling. she needs this kind of courage for the rest of her life, it'll do her wonders, she muses quietly as she waits.

footsteps reverberate softly when joohyun goes offline and seungwan clenches the phone tightly in her hands. her adrenaline hasn't faded yet but it feels like she might pass out from fear or excitement, or both. her heart beating rapidly against its fragile cages makes the silence of the night feel less unnerving.

the knob turns slowly and seungwan steadies herself. she doesn't know what to say now even though she's spent weeks preparing for this very moment.

she's okay. she's got this. 

how bad can her first words to kiyub be?

she’s got this, she’s got this, she’s got this.

the senior cracks open the door slowly and pokes her head out, recoiling in surprise when she sees younger girl standing outside. her brain goes into overdrive, processing a hundred thoughts as she considers her options. she’s too flustered to function properly but she knows it’s too late to run now. it’s now or never.

"seungwan?" she gasps, "what are you doing here?"

it’s okay. it’s going to be okay. even if it's not okay, sooyoung will throw hands for her.

joohyun isn’t going to reject her, so if she could just spit something out instead of gaping like a fish out water, that’d be perfect.

say it. just say it — whatever comes to mind.

seungwan runs her tongue over her lips nervously. she just has to be direct, just get whatever words out so joohyun knows it's her. this is her chance, the hardest part is already over, all she has to do now is let joohyun into her world. taking a leap of faith, she pours all her bravery into her words. with her own feelings and seulgi's words in her head, seungwan's mind is a mess and she can barely string together a coherent sentence, so when it doesn't come out as intended, is anyone even surprised?

"you're my joohyun!"

when the words reach her ears, seungwan thinks her soul is ready to leave her body for another plane of existence so she can escape this embarrassment she feels.

“fuck …” she mutters under her breath.

the senior widens her eyes and upon realising what had just happened, cracks into a large smile. after a long time spent moping and praying for her soulmate to miraculously show up, here she is. not at all what she had been expecting, but even joohyun isn’t sure what to expect in the first place.

son seungwan, turning up at her door in the middle of the night, blurting the words on her wrist with a nervous quiver in her voice. it turns into one of those moments that she ingrains in her memory, moments that she’s certain that she’ll never forget. the enigma behind her predilection for son seungwan is finally resolved.

visibly relaxing in front of her, joohyun pulls her right sleeve down with an amused smile, “i am your joohyun.”

the goddess that stands before her turns her right wrist to show seungwan her tattoo — the words that have just left her mouth, including the curse word, are embedded permanently in her skin in a simple sans serif font.

seungwan feels like no matter how much air she draws into her lungs, she can't breathe. her gaze flits from joohyun's tattoo to joohyun herself, her mind goes blank and she only has one thought.

bae joohyun is kiyub, bae joohyun is her soulmate.

"i-i …" it's impossible to form words at this point and seungwan forces herself to stop stammering.

"we can talk later, let's get you warmed up first." joohyun pulls her freezing body into the warm room without another word.

they don't say much, joohyun extricates herself of her hoodie and forces seungwan to wear it, additionally she's being wrapped up in blankets too. her soulmate bustles around the room as she shivers away on byulyi's bed. running here barefoot in nothing but a thin shirt and shorts is a horrible idea but the outcome is more than worth it. seungwan is still processing that this is very much real and not a dream and joohyun is trying to hold back all her urges to embrace her new soulmate.

her soulmate. she's got her soulmate.

joohyun eventually returns to her side with a mug of hot water. "drink." she urges quickly as she takes a seat next to the younger girl.

seungwan accepts it with a grateful smile and sips on the literally burning hot water. but the heat is more than welcomed, it warms her up instantly.

"you didn't even put any shoes on?" joohyun gasps as she looks at seungwan's bare toes, breaking the comfortable yet tense silence they've settled into.

wiggling them cheekily, she nods while avoiding joohyun's gaze, her feet are hurting from the harsh grounds she had to run across but all of it is worth it.  she then brings her gaze to look at joohyun with her lips tugged upwards in a small smile, "i needed to tell you." 

a gentle blush begins to show on joohyun's cheek and the senior bites back a grin. she gets up and shuffles around the room to look for something.

"what are you looking for?" seungwan questions softly as she warms her hands against the mug.

joohyun responds with a mumble, "a first aid kit, or anything to clean up your feet.”

turning her feet upwards, they're not horribly injured, just a little scratched from the terrains of campus. nothing that won't heal in a couple of days. seungwan sips on more water as she watches joohyun, "it's not that bad, don't worry."

her soulmate clicks her teeth and turns around, "was it really necessary to run here without proper clothing and shoes?"

seungwan nods her head seriously, "if i didn't, you might just get married to someone else."

"yah … i still had time." joohyun chuckles and continues her search. but she can’t deny that the sentiment makes her heart swell with adoration for her soulmate.

the introvert is reminded of the various situations in which she ran from her soulmate and sighs, "i know, but i would've chickened out."

the senior stops her rummaging and turns to her newfound love. "why? are you afraid of me?" joohyun's eyes are filled with concern and she fiddles with her fingers.

"no! no! not at all!" seungwan quickly clarifies. seeing joohyun relax, she continues to ramble, "it's just … i overthink and i'm insecure and i had a whole bunch of unrealistic ideals of you that scared me. i also didn't want to give you a dumb tattoo and i-"

the nerd stops mid-sentence when she finds her soulmate listening intently with a watchful gaze.

"and you?"

"i … i was afraid that you'd reject me."

"seungwan …" joohyun's tone is almost heartbreaking, her gaze softens as she bites on her lower lip almost in despair, "i would never do that."

"i know and i don't feel that way anymore. but at the start it just felt like it could be a possibility, then it grew into this big ball of worry." seungwan mumbles, "it's just a bunch of dumb feelings."

"it's not dumb at all, they're all valid. these are all parts of you that i don't want to ignore. we don't have to rush to do anything, we can take it as slow as you want, okay?"

seungwan looks up with a small gasp, how could she have gone weeks without her soulmate? if she knew that being loved by her soulmate would feel this amazing, she wouldn't have avoided this for so long.

joohyun pulls her gaze away and bites the insides of her cheek, "w-what?"

"what, what?"

"why are you staring at me like that?"

"i should've talked to you sooner if i knew you were going to be this sweet." seungwan admits with a dopey smile plastered across her cheeks.

talking to joohyun in real life feels easier than she pictured it to be. maybe the initial barriers have all been broken through weeks of texting. whatever it is, she feels comfortable with her soulmate, albeit a little awkward.

"yah! you're really greasy, son seungwan!" joohyun stutters and she resumes her rummaging once again. she doesn’t want seungwan to see the flush that’s rushing to her cheeks even though the lights in the room are dim.

seungwan lets out a snicker as she sinks deeper into joohyun's warm hoodie. eventually, the senior gives up on finding supplies and cleans her feet with a washcloth.

they settle into an apprehensive silence once that has been done, neither of them knowing what to really do now.

joohyun finds a seat beside seungwan but doesn't move much, all she does is reach for seungwan's hand and the younger girl lets her hold it. she's grateful that joohyun is willing to take it slow but some part of her just wants to leap into her soulmate's arms and say fuck you to all her worries and insecurities. they stay like that for a little, seungwan doesn't want to let go of the hand she's been aching to hold for weeks. 

in this tiny dorm room, it feels like there's only the two of them in this world. like the world has stopped for these two soulmates to learn how to love.

eventually, the fatigue begins to overtake her and seungwan stifles a yawn. joohyun has been watching her like a hawk, so it doesn't go unnoticed.

"oh … it's really late." joohyun murmurs softly after squinting at the clock on byulyi's desk.

the little nerd turns to see that it's a half-past two in the morning, no wonder she feels like she's about to pass out.

"i should head back …" seungwan mumbles uncertainly as she stands up, letting go of joohyun's hands in the process. she hadn't even realised how clammy her hands are till they are out of her soulmate's grasp.

the senior watches while her soulmate prepares to leave, should she try to convince her to stay? maybe it's too soon to sleep in the same bed. should she say goodbye? should she hug her? is hugging too much for now?

“i’ll see you tomorrow, unnie.”

before she knows it, seungwan bids her a soft farewell before quietly exiting the room. 

only in her absence does joohyun come to the realisation — she didn't want her to leave at all, she didn't realise how desperately she wants seungwan to stay until the girl is gone. so the model leaps up off her feet and races after the introvert who is already making her way down the corridor.

"wait!" joohyun calls out and chases after her brand new soulmate, " wait, seungwan!"

seungwan swivels around, slightly startled by the model's abrupt actions. she calms down and bobs her head slowly, "oh! i'm still wearing your hoodie, do you need it back?"

joohyun doesn't hide the confusion on her face but quickly shakes her head, "no, keep it on, it's cold. "

the nerd hums softly as she blinks at her soulmate, "do you need something?"

it takes joohyun a few moments to stop gasping for air and she gathers her courage. "stay." joohyun squeaks before clearing her throat and repeating firmly, "i want you to stay."

seungwan cracks into a small smile and joohyun swears she could see tears glistening in her eyes. but the senior wraps her arms around her before she can even take a proper look. joohyun caves in to her desires and embraces the little nerd tightly, meeting your soulmate is one thing, but to feel yourself fall in love with them is an entirely different experience.

"i don't know how to love you yet," joohyun takes a deep breath while taking in seungwan's scent, burying her face in the crook of her neck, "but i'm going to figure it out because i know you're the one for me. you're my seungwan." 

the small frame in joohyun’s arms loosens up and lets herself be embraced. hearing these words from kiyub makes eyes blurry with tears, joohyun is just like her, scared and uncertain, but the difference between them is that the older girl seems so much braver. seungwan melts into the hug easily, she's still pretty terrified but at least she's not alone now — she's going to figure things out with joohyun.

"i like you a lot …" seungwan finally admits, saying it aloud feels like she's cementing the fact that joohyun is her soulmate. and that feat alone is relieving in ways that she can't even begin to explain.

she didn't have to say more, not that she has any words either. joohyun pulls back slightly, not too much so that she would leave seungwan's arms. she cups her soulmate's cheeks yet again and wipes her tears away with her thumbs, she looks into seungwan's eyes longingly, wondering if she is feeling the same things.

"can i kiss you?" joohyun asks nervously, her eyes flit to the soft lips of the introvert and then back to her.

seungwan doesn’t have to reply, she leans forward to meet her soulmate's mouth instead. their lips collide gently and joohyun steps a little closer, holding seungwan steady, anchoring her to savour this moment together.

maybe this is what the right love tastes like, a little wet with a tinge of tenderness, a little daunting but exhilarating all at once. to feel like you're falling but knowing that someone's going to be there to catch you, is this what a love meant for you feels like? 

seungwan doesn't really know, but what she does know is she's willing to fall. 

her arms reach around joohyun and find their place at the small of her back, pulling her closer and all she can feel is how amazing it feels to kiss her soulmate for the first time ever. in that moment, she didn’t feel fear, or anxiety, just — love. all the love she has is waiting to be poured into this tiny girl in her arms and she does so with a long and deep kiss against joohyun’s sweet and tender lips.

and joohyun basks in it while returning her feelings. for the first time since she got her tattoo, seungwan feels blessed that the words are what they are.

joohyun pulls away slowly with the need to catch her breath, she stares at the soft girl in front of her and wonders if she can squeeze in another kiss before her lungs begin to burn.

"wow …" seungwan gasps softly, cracking into a dopey grin as she sniffles. her tears are gone and the only thing keeping her from passing out is joohyun's firm grip against her neck.

kiyub smiles before planting another soft kiss on her cheek, "i think i'm going to turn into yongsun and byulyi if you keep looking at me like that."

seungwan feels the heat rush to her face as she looks away shyly, self-conscious of the staring she's done yet again. "is that a bad thing ?" she asks unsurely.

"nothing with you could ever be a bad thing, seungwan." the way her name rolls of joohyun's tongue is enough to reassure her of her soulmate's feelings.

the little nerd smiles and nods, removing joohyun's hands from around her neck and clasping it in hers, “well then, would you like to brave the colds with me back to my room?”

“we have a perfectly good room right there.” joohyun begins to argue as she points back to byulyi’s dorm, the thought of walking outside in the middle of the night is not one that is welcomed.

“i know …” the younger girl whines with a sheepish smile and shifts her weight from one leg to another, “but i can’t sleep in unfamiliar places.”

nodding her head with an understanding sigh, joohyun untangles herself from her soulmate to gather up her things. 

when joohyun is done, she finds seungwan playing with the strings of her hoodie mindlessly while resting against the wall — what an adorable sight to behold, yet another moment she’s committing to her memory. approaching slowly, seungwan notices her presence and looks up with a beaming smile. it didn’t matter that it’s the middle of the night and her body is screaming for sleep, all that matters is the girl standing before her knows that they are soulmates.

joohyun drops her sneakers before seungwan and looks at the little nerd pointedly.

“what?”

“wear these.”

“what about you?”

“i’ll be fine.”

“take your hoodie back then,” seungwan begins to wiggle out of the warm hoodie that she’s somewhat made a home out of, “no way you’re walking like this when it’s freezing outside.”

joohyun looks down at her clothes and well, they clearly aren’t made for a cold night in february. but then again, neither is seungwan’s t-shirt. she clicks her teeth and folds her arms across her chest, “you came here in the exact same manner, i don’t think you should be lecturing me.”

“i’m not lecturing you,” seungwan retorts, though her voice is muffled while she takes off the sweatshirt, “i just don’t want you to catch a cold.”

“and you think i would let you?”

seungwan bites her lower lip and hands the hoodie back to joohyun, “i’ll wear your shoes if you wear your hoodie.”

deciding it’ll be futile to argue, joohyun accepts the compromise and readorns the warm article of clothing. if she’s really honest, she knows that she’ll regret every minute of the walk without her hoodie. but for seungwan, it is but a tiny sacrifice.

joohyun’s shoes are a perfect fit for her, probably due to their similar physiques. they’re a nice reprieve from the harsh if not cold floors though she feels horrible that joohyun is now the one who has to walk back without shoes on. but joohyun didn't seem to have a problem with it at all.

“let’s go.” joohyun clings onto seungwan when she deems that her girl is ready.

they exit bootes and enter the biting chill of the night. lucky for them, the winds aren’t as strong as when seungwan made her way over. and also an added bonus for her, seungwan has her own personal heater now. her thin shirt did nothing against the cold but with joohyun hanging onto her, things are marginally better.

scratch that, it’s more than marginally, it’s fucking great.

she’d run through the horrible temperatures any day if it meant having joohyun by her side for the rest of her life. and despite being the one in warmer clothes, joohyun is still shivering more than the nerd — something which seungwan finds a little comical.

“bad with the cold?” the introvert muses as they walk through campus grounds.

joohyun offers a meek nod in response, “let’s just say i don’t appreciate being outside when the weather is this cold.”

“and you wanted to give me your hoodie!” seungwan laughs at the absurdity of the situation and snakes her arms around joohyun, pulling her a little closer to her equally small frame.

the senior wrinkles her nose and picks up her pace, “come on, you’re going to fall sick at this rate.”

and the two new soulmates find themselves brisk walking from one hall to another in the icy darkness. but neither of them minded it, spending time with each other is something they’d both savour, even if it’s at the risk of getting hypothermia.

joohyun stays the night at the dorm of the two best friends, seungwan had intended to let her sleep on her bed while she took seulgi's. but after some serious convincing, the two new soulmates lie on seungwan's bed. thanks to their physiques, they're able to fit comfortably. 

they lie on their sides, facing each other with the moon lighting up certain parts of their faces. their hands tangled, fingers entwined with no intention of wanting to let go in sight.

as tired as seungwan is, sleep is a secondary thought when her soulmate is currently lying next to her. there’s so much she wants to say, so many feelings she’s yet to articulate, so much she wants to share without the fear of her confidant finding her annoying.

"i knew." seungwan starts abruptly, interrupting the tranquillity of the dorm.

joohyun raises an eyebrow curiously as she plays with the introvert's fingers, "that you were my soulmate?"

seungwan nods slowly, moving her arm under the moonlight so joohyun could see her tattoo. the comic sans mark on her skin has felt like a joke for years until she heard it for the first time, it’s no longer an abomination. now, it brought the pleasant feeling of love.

kiyub has a different weight now, yongsun was right, things do change.

"kiyub?" joohyun pushes herself up, frowning in confusion before her expression turns into one of panic, "i could've sworn my first words were a proper sentence … did i make a mistake? are you actually my soulmate?"

seungwan fails to hold back a soft snort as she reassures her soulmate in a gentle tone, “yes, i am, when seulgi and byulyi-unnie set off those fireworks, it scared you and you went kiyub!” the nerd smiles at the memory, the image of joohyun covering her ears resurfaces in her mind and she imitates it with a certain degree of cuteness.

joohyun stares at seungwan momentarily, a breath is caught in her throat because she thinks she might have fallen a little more in love with this girl. she can’t stop the smile that creeps up onto her lips but she does lie back down to bury her face in her hands out of embarrassment. “ah, i wasn’t expecting this at all,” the older girl groans, voice muffled by her hands, “i thought you’d have something less odd.”

seungwan inches closer to remove her hands from her face and she rests her weight on her elbows. “i don’t think it’s odd,” she says softly, moving the strands of stray hair away from joohyun’s face with a little hesitation, “it’s a little unique.”

“calling it unique is a nice way to put it, huh?” the psychology major cringes as she traces her fingers over the indelible word, taking it in slowly and seungwan looks up at her adoringly with a small nod.

“i mean, would you prefer an almost nonsensical sound of exclamation or a messed up sentence from a nervous fool?" the nerd teases cheekily.

joohyun becomes quiet as she seriously weighs the two options, “i think i wouldn’t mind either as long as they’re your words.” she admits shyly with a soft smile.

seungwan swallows nervously, she’s not used to having someone express their feelings about her so openly, positive feelings too. everything about this situation just feels unreal to her, she partially expects it to be a dream and she’ll wake up disappointed in the morning.

“i’m sorry.”

the atmosphere between them shifts to one of a more serious tone when seungwan murmurs almost inaudibly, there’s been a weight on her chest ever since their texts that night and not even finding her soulmate could lift it.

“what for?” the senior widens her eyes in bewilderment.

“running mostly," the nerd’s voice is guilt-stricken and joohyun can feel how apologetic she is, “i didn’t know how significant soulmates were to you.”

"how could you have known?” joohyun coos gently, taking her soulmate’s hands into hers tenderly.

“i’m just thinking about how if i acknowledged you at the party, you wouldn’t have had a shitty time in the last few weeks.”

“things with my family are entirely out of your control. how could you possibly hold yourself responsible, seungwan-ah?”

the introvert shrugs as she lies back down to face the ceiling, she’s not sure how things are supposed to be with joohyun. could she be as honest like she is with seulgi?

joohyun shifts beside her and faces her fully. "stop it, silly. at least you came looking for me," joohyun tries to comfort her, "it wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it gave me a lot of time to think about my soulmate and what i really wanted. in some ways, you gave me the time i needed." 

the little nerd squeezes her fingers lightly and sighs, "i still feel guilty …"

joohyun feels her heart break a little, the last thing she wants to ever see now is a sad seungwan. instinctively, she places her arms around seungwan in an awkward hug, she'll never get how easy it looks in the movies.

"it's okay, it's in the past now, what matters is what happens now," she murmurs into the crook of seungwan’s neck, but she's sure the younger girl is able to hear her, "don't be sad, because it's going to make me sad."

joohyun shifts her arms so that she's holding seungwan tightly and she plants a kiss on the younger girl's forehead. her soulmate snuggles closer to her chest and joohyun thinks that there's no better feeling. 

her heart feels so full tonight and all she wants to do is express her love, "i’m very grateful that you’re here, seungwan. i think i got really lucky when the universe decided to pair you with me.”

"are you kidding? have you seen yourself?" seungwan mumbles incredulously, basking in joohyun's warm affection, "one of the reasons i couldn't talk to you was because you were so … wow …"

"so wow?" joohyun doesn't hold back a snort.

"don't laugh," seungwan pouts as she looks up at her soulmate, "you looked like a goddess when i first saw you and honestly, it just feels like having you as my soulmate is too good to be true."

joohyun smiles softly as her gaze lingers on her precious soulmate, "i'm only human and this is all very true and very real. i can’t wait to get to know you better, azure.”

seungwan lets out a groan at the sound of her username being mentioned and her soulmate could only giggle cheekily.

“yeri placed bets with our friends on when i would actually talk to you.”

“yah … that brat is going to get it from me.”

“it’s okay, i’m pretty sure she lost. she had zero faith in me.”

“well, serves her right.” joohyun scoffs, “i also can’t believe she knew and didn’t tell me!”

seungwan purses her lips as she takes a mental check of how many people actually knew that the two of them are soulmates before joohyun herself knew. put it short, it’s basically the entire world and their moms.

“well … i have some news for you …” the nerd drawls nervously.

the senior looks down at the girl in her arms and expels a sigh, “alright, who else knows?”

“seulgi, sooyoung, yeri, yongsun-unnie,” seungwan begins to list off names at the top of her head, “a bunch of my online friends and byulyi-unnie too probably.”

“yah, son seungwan! you told that many people before me?” joohyun raises her voice in offense.

seungwan bites back a laugh, “to be fair, yeri and yongsun-unnie found out on their own.”

“seulgi and sooyoung?”

“sorry, i tell seulgi just about everything and by extension, sooyoung knows everything too. those two are inseparable.”

“unbelievable … ah … whatever! at least you finally talked to me, i’ll take it.” joohyun mumbles and doesn't try to hide her yawn, it's getting late now and neither of their bodies is agreeing to no sleep.

"we should save this conversation for tomorrow.” seungwan suggests, feeling the fatigue in her body catching up to her as well. all the adrenaline has passed and even love isn't enough to keep her up through the night.

joohyun nods slightly as her eyes begin to shut, "as much as i agree, i just want to spend a little more time with you."

the introvert hums in agreement, "i do too, but you know i won't disappear, right?"

"i'm not so sure about that …" joohyun mumbles as pulls seungwan closer, the little nerd cranes her neck to look up at her with a softened gaze, "you ran from me. i’m partially expecting you to immigrate when i wake up."

“i’m a changed woman now, i don’t think i wanna be anywhere without you.”

“careful now,” joohyun teases warningly, “i wouldn’t want to turn into yongsun and byulyi, or seulgi and sooyoung.”

“is it really that bad?” seungwan pouts, “because for one, i do take great pleasure in being in your arms.”

the senior lets out a sleepy chuckle and leans in to meet seungwan's soft lips again. a gentle peck that catches seungwan off guard. the younger girl jumps slightly but joohyun’s firm grip keeps them intertwined. 

“and i take great pleasure in adoring you.” joohyun hums sleepily before proceeding to plant more tender kisses on her cheek and neck.

"well, i’ve got great news for you. i like it, a lot."

"and i like you, a lot."

"you call me greasy, but look at you. are you always this soft?" seungwan can’t help but grin widely.

"only for you, you have no idea what you do to me. i’ve been trying to figure out why for the last few weeks and i finally know now."

"i'm going to make a bold move and assume it's the same as what you do to me."

"i make your heart melt into a little puddle and all you want to do is kiss me?" joohyun mumbles nervously in the quietest tone ever.

seungwan bobs her head, "pretty much."

"nice."

"nice?"

"yeah, nice, because i get to have you all to myself."

"wish i could say the same. half the school's population is going to come after me once they learn that i'm your soulmate.”

"it's not like they stood a chance anyway. plus, once they see how adorable my seungwannie is, they'll understand."

"your seungwannie?” seungwan chuckles lightly, “but they'll come after me with pitchforks and torches. "

"yeah, mine. and i will fend them off with my own pitchfork and torch." 

"i'm sure you will …" seungwan mutters as she drifts off into slumber.

"goodnight, my seungwannie." joohyun says with a content smile on her lips, but her soulmate is already fast asleep.

listening to the silent breathing of her soulmate, she takes a moment to appreciate everything that’s just happened. it’s funny how things work themselves out when she least expects them to. all her life, she never thought that meeting her soulmate would be a possibility, let alone falling asleep all cuddled up with them.

not only did she get her soulmate, she got seungwan too. of all the people she could’ve been paired with, she got this adorable little nerd. somehow, seungwan just snuck her way into her heart so frictionlessly, she doesn’t doubt that her love for this girl will only grow. and for that, joohyun thinks she must be blessed by the gods themselves. with thoughts of a future together in mind, joohyun lets the gentle rise of seungwan’s chest lull her into a series of sweet dreams.

Chapter Text

waking up to an alarm blaring at 7 am is not how joohyun was expecting to wake up after spending the night with her soulmate for the first time. needless to say, she's a little irritated and wants nothing more than to fall back asleep with seungwan in her arms.

joohyun feels the small girl fumbling around the bed to shut the alarm off and buries her face in her back with a small groan. "it's sunday … why do you have an alarm?" joohyun whines in a voice filled with drowsiness.

feeling seungwan leave her arms, she's forced to open her eyes. the nerd has sat up and is on her phone, texting her best friend and her demon of a soulmate since they didn't return last night.

"sorry, i have to go get seulgi and sooyoung since they're not back." seungwan sighs as she yawns sleepily, "you're welcome to warm my bed while i go get those two."

joohyun looks up with a pout, "it's not going to be nice without you here."

"so, not nice?"

"yeah not nice."

seungwan can't help but grin at how clingy joohyun is already, it's barely been a few hours since they've found each other and she's already acting like she's not going to live without the nerd. not that she disagrees, now that she has joohyun, she doesn't want to spend a minute away from her either — the feeling is mutual.

but she's gotta admit, being wanted by bae joohyun is a lovely feeling.

"come with me then."

"but it's too cold and too early …" joohyun whines as she continues to hide under the duvets.

"it is too early but i gotta make sure they're not sleeping in their own puke."

joohyun ignores her words and tugs at her shirt with the intention to pull her back into bed. and well, how could seungwan deny her? 

"come on, unnie," seungwan lets out a breathy laugh when her soulmate clings onto her waist, "we have the rest of our lives to cuddle."

the senior let out yet another groan and closes her eyes. using seungwan's lap as a pillow, she traps her soulmate with her own gravity. if she ever sleeps over when seungwan has morning classes, it’s very likely she’ll be on her way to failing her first class.

"i'm just saying, seulgi and sooyoung has spent years with you, all i want is to sleep with you till noon." joohyun mumbles a weak retort.

"stay here then, i'll get breakfast and be back in an hour or two then we can sleep again." the nerd offers and begins to untangle herself from joohyun's iron grasp.

"it's not the same …"

"it's the best compromise i can give you. though if you come, fluffy pancakes at munch will be on me," seungwan smirks as she crawls out of bed and heads to the bathroom, "and i'll hold your hand!"

a tempting offer. one that even joohyun could not simply pass up on.

"fine …" joohyun sighs in defeat as she removes the duvet, " i'll go …"

it's a half-past seven when the soulmates leave the warm dorm to brace the cold winds back to cygnus. this time, they are both properly clothed. the harsh temperatures are no match for the clothes they've put on. 

joohyun is clinging on to her for dear life once again. with her hands wrapped around the younger girl's waist, it makes for an awkward walk but neither wants to let go. the psychology major didn't do well in the cold despite being layered up like a burrito made out of all the warm clothes in seungwan's wardrobe — she had borrowed an extra jacket to battle the chills, but even that couldn't stop her shivering.

"i'm ready to jump back into bed, it's too early for me to function." joohyun mutters as they stroll down the empty paths.

seungwan snickers as she rubs a hand down joohyun's arm, hoping the friction would offer some warmth. "when you said you weren't a morning person, i didn't expect it to be this bad." she muses.

joohyun stifles a yawn as she looks up at the introvert, "you are too much of a morning person."

"unfortunately, i am. and that's why i have to go get seulgi when she doesn't come back in the mornings." seungwan sighs with a small smile. 

joohyun giggles lightly, "but you were at the new year party?" she questions.

"it was either that or watching her and sooyoung make out in our dorm room and i can't take anymore smooches. seul practically pointed a gun to my head and said party or perish." seungwan groans.

"i'm glad she did, otherwise when would we ever meet?" joohyun grins as she rests her head on her soulmate's arm, "also, smooches aren't so bad, seungwannie."

seungwannie. she could really get used to this. the way joohyun says her name makes her fall a little more each time.

seungwan wets her lips and shrugs, "we'd probably meet because of seulgi at some point and you haven't seen the two of them make out, they're absolutely disgusting and should probably get a room without me in it." she says firmly, she's been the sole audience of their full-blown make-out sessions for a few years now and there's only so much she can tolerate without gagging.

joohyun chuckles at her predicament and hugs her a little tighter, "come over anytime, i'll be more than happy to offer you a safe haven and non-disgusting smooches."

the weather doesn't feel as cold anymore when her face flushes at joohyun's words, she's on the verge of mumbling a response but it comes out as a weak squeak and now she's twice as embarrassed.

the senior doesn't hold back the amused laugh that leaves her throat, "we don't have to do anything you don't want to, seungwannie. i'd be happy to just have you around." she reassures quickly.

the world feels like it's come alive, bringing color to every corner and she finally has something to look forward to. with joohyun in her arms, she's not sure if she could ever hate this world again. her soulmate has been so accommodating and patient and sweet and — the list goes on but everything about her makes seungwan's heart flutter.

seungwan makes a bold move and leans in to plant a soft kiss on joohyun's freezing cheek and the senior stops in her step. the introvert looks at her with a confused expression and joohyun's lips slowly crack into a huge smile.

"what's wrong?" seungwan frowns worriedly, afraid that her actions may have upset her soulmate.

"i thought kissing you was the best thing ever, but you kissing me is so much better." joohyun admits cheekily and resumes walking.

"i-!" seungwan stutters and her soulmate has to drag her along so she doesn't freeze up in the middle of the path.

the apartment where seulgi's birthday party was held got somewhat trashed, it's probably worse before they got here since yongsun is already busy cleaning up. the situation still looks dire though, there are still plenty of unconscious bodies littered around various spots in the apartment. joohyun can’t help but let out a soft sigh at her ruined apartment, every fibre of her being is regretting that she agreed to the party.

“you good?” seungwan questions with a worried gaze and runs a hand down her back comfortingly.

the senior bobs her head, “just thinking of how much of a pleasant sight this is.”

“close your eyes, you won’t have to see it.”

“yah …”

“joohyun? i thought you said you were only going to come back after lunch!” yongsun pokes her head out of the kitchen to peek her roommate presumably.

“i was.” joohyun snaps. clearly returning at the wee hours of the morning isn’t going to do wonders for her mood. not only is she cranky and tired, but their apartment also looks worse than a pig’s sty.

the brunette gasps loudly when she sees joohyun wrapped in seungwan's arms and she's beyond elated. "is this a dream? is this real? i'm not still dru–"

“not now, yong,“ joohyun shoots her with a sharp glare, “it’s too early for this."

yongsun looks at the two with a pointed grin and seungwan recognises that look. the senior probably think they did more than just cuddling and there’s no stopping the heat from rushing to her cheeks now.

“i should go check on seulgi and sooyoung …" seungwan stammers and trails off awkwardly. she scans the room but doesn’t see the couple anywhere.

“they’re in my room with byul," yongsun jabs a finger back into the corridor with a closed door, “watch out though, they drank a lot."

joohyun lets her seungwannie leave albeit a little unwillingly but she’s not going to act this clingy in front of yongsun who is throwing her an amused grin as her soulmate leaves. seungwan hurries into the room and leaves the two seniors to talk.

the room she enters is cool and dark, perfect for three hungover idiots sharing one bed that’s clearly too small for all of them. byulyi is on the precipice of falling off and seulgi is lying on top of sooyoung in a position that can’t be comfortable for either of them. but somehow, the expression on sooyoung’s face makes her look strangely comfy. shaking her head in exasperation, she walks over to the bodies and aggressively shakes the two drunk little shits.

"kang seulgi, park sooyoung, get up." seungwan hisses, not wanting to wake byulyi up too.

sooyoung groans as she cuddles seulgi like a giant teddy bear and her best friend doesn't even budge. "park sooyoung, get up right now, i know you're awake." the nerd threatens as she shoves sooyong roughly.

"aish, unnie, go away …" sooyoung grumbles as she raises a hand to wave seungwan away.

seungwan leans in till she’s right next to sooyoung, “joohyun spent the night.” she whispered.

she has never seen sooyoung sit up that fast before, she barely has time to step back. in sooyoung’s haste, she caused the poor senior who happened to be sharing a bed with them to fall off with a loud thud. seulgi is lucky that she’s sleeping on top of sooyoung, who is holding onto her tightly so she doesn't end up on the floor like byulyi. seungwan rushes over to the film major who looks confused as to why she’s on the floor.

"you finally talked to joohyun?" sooyoung grins as seulgi stirs awake from all the commotion.

“yes,” seungwan answers before turning her attention to the senior, “byulyi-unnie, are you alright?”

“who pushed me off …” byulyi yawns as she accepts a hand from the nerd.

the door to the bedroom bursts open before seungwan could even reply and yongsun and joohyun are barging in with worried looks. "what was that noise?" yongsun demands quickly, her eyes darting all over the room to assess the situation, as if the puzzling positions of the four girls could provide any clues.

"probably me falling off the bed …" byulyi groans from her position on the floor in the corner of the room, “i’m okay just hungover now.”

yongsun sighs with visible relief, “idiot … get up and we can go get breakfast."

yongsun leaves the room while joohyun lingers a little, watching seungwan for a moment before joining her roommate outside. seulgi clings onto her soulmate and turns to face seungwan.

"what time is it, wannie?" seulgi yawns and blinks the sleep out of her eyes.

"time to get up," seungwan responds sharply, "glad to see you had a fun birthday."

"mhm, today would be a good day to sleep in." seulgi sighs as she buries her face in sooyoung's chest.

sooyoung sighs, "get up, baby, we gotta harass seungwan-unnie for the joohyun tea."

"joohyun tea?" byulyi chirps up as she looks up after zoning out for a while, "what joohyun tea?"

seungwan sighs as she looks at the three of them, "she knows we’re soulmates." the nerd leaves the room after dropping a bomb and she can hear arguing ensue.

seungwan can't help but grin when she thinks of her soulmate, it makes her beyond elated to know that joohyun has not only accepted her but is also equally as infatuated as she is. unable to stop herself, she does a happy little skip into the living room.

the living room has been cleaned up considerably, no more bottles or beer cans or sticky spills on the floor. the number of unconscious bodies has reduced too, leaving just a few stragglers. she watches yongsun and joohyun go on a cleaning rampage from her spot in the corridor. but despite their aggressive cleaning, the two seniors are strangely having a proper conversation.

"so, she ran from aquila to bootes, without shoes?"

"all she had was a thin t-shirt that i would get hypothermia in."

"and then what?"

"and then she asked me to open the door and said those exact words."

“you’re my joohyun, fuck?” yongsun takes a pause to clarify.

joohyun tosses an empty can into a trash bag and nods with a subtle eye roll, “yes …”

"if you weren’t so intimidating, maybe you'd have a proper tattoo." the brunette quips with a chuckle.

"shut up, do you even know what hers says?"

"yeah, i saw it last night. never knew bae joohyun would be capable of a word like that."

"i blame your idiot for this." her soulmate hisses.

"yah! lay off my idiot,” yongsun tosses a wet rag at joohyun, “what’s byul got to do with this?”

the smaller girl sidesteps the attack with ease and responds with one of her own, “it’s because she set off those fireworks that night!”

“it's not her fault that you get scared so easily."

"if byulyi didn't set off the fireworks, i could've talked to her like a normal person."

the two seniors are engaged in a nasty war that seungwan is glad to be out of. the sight of wet rags flying through the air accompanied by empty beer cans is hilarious to some degree, part of her wants to jump in and rescue her soulmate but the other part of her refuses to ruin her clothes in a petty fight that doesn’t exactly involve her.

"what would you say, miss bae? 'hi i'm bae joohyun the hottest girl on campus, maybe you've seen me on the posters around school.'"

"zip it, kim yongsun, or i'm leaving you to clean this up on your own since you agreed to this."

"you’d call my cleaning sloppy and clean it all over again."

"i hate that you're right, but i would much rather be asleep right now."

"you wouldn't leave me alone, hyunnie!”

"for a few more hours of sleep? i'd sell you."

“ah, you're so heartless— oh seungwan, are they all up?" 

two pairs of eyes turn to her and she snaps out of her daze, she's been staring at joohyun as she eavesdropped on their conversation.

"y-yes, they are. thanks for taking care of them, yongsun-unnie.” seungwan nods quickly.

“thanks for taking care of joohyun,” yongsun winks slyly as she heads to the kitchen, “don’t forget to take out the trash, hyun-ah.”

joohyun clicks her teeth and huffs with two large trash bags by her sides. “when i get back, i don’t wanna see any more stains!”

she didn’t even have to ask for help and seungwan is already taking one out of her hands. the senior shoots her an appreciative smile and they exit the apartment.

“is this what you and yongsun are usually like?” seungwan asks with a snicker when they enter the lift.

joohyun shakes her head quickly, “i’m a different person in the morning.”

“well, then i guess we should get you back in bed soon.” the little nerd jokes when the doors open.

the senior expels a quiet sigh and they make their way to the back of the building where the garbage bins are in relative silence.

“so, are we still on for breakfast?" joohyun asks softly once they are done disposing of the trash.

seungwan can't hide the huge smile on her face, "i thought you wanted to go back to sleep."

the senior huffs while pressing the button to call for the elevator, "i really do, but i think spending time with you takes precedence." she admits softly as she leans against the wall sleepily.

it’s warming, relieving even, that joohyun feels the exact same way that she does. maybe they wouldn’t have to figure out how to love each other, maybe it’s already wired in them. but it also feels like they’ve still got so much about each other to uncover.

"okay," seungwan nods with a wide grin, "right after i make sure seulgi and sooyoung are fine."

"do you think they'd want to tag along?" joohyun asks as the lift arrives and they step in together.

seungwan frowns for a moment before shrugging, "they're going to be pestering me about you if they do." the nerd sighs.

the senior shoots the younger girl an amused smirk, “oh, i can definitely foresee that happening.”

the couple splits up upon entering the house, joohyun opts to wash up and seungwan is instantly pulled aside by her friends. on another note, the apartment is empty save for her friends who are forcing her to sit on the couch — at least their interrogation would be privy to their small circle. stuck in between her best friends, seungwan has no choice but to answer to their demands.

"so what happened last night?" seulgi is the first one to interrogate the nerd upon her return, a cheeky smirk is plastered on her face.

seungwan sighs and rolls her eyes, "nothing happened, at least not what you're thinking of."

sooyoung clicks her teeth from her spot beside her on the couch, she nudges the introvert a little too hard, "no way, unnie." she shakes her head determinedly.

"what do you think happened?" seungwan exhales sharply, glaring at the two girls, demanding an answer from them.

the tall girl frowns at her unnie, "do i really need to say it?"

"we didn't have sex! god! we talked a little and then it got late, so we just slept." seungwan huffs in annoyance.

"you're so boring unnie, you had the room to yourself and you just slept? unbelievable." sooyoung groans in disgust, "seul, baby, back me up here." 

seulgi snorts in amusement and shrugs, "i can't because that is an extremely wannie thing to do. she's not like us." the bear-like girl wraps an arm around her best friend in an attempt to appease her.

"by not like you do you mean that i'm not as nasty as you two?" seungwan asks as she leans into seulgi's side hug, sooyoung can only cross her arms in annoyance.

"pretty much," seulgi shrugs, "so what actually happened?"

"after you so rudely ended the call, i ran to bootes, fumbled over my words and then she knew." seungwan recalls the night without fail.

everything is still so fresh in her head. the look on joohyun's face when she realised. the firm tug as she pulled her into the room. the taste of her soulmate’s soft lips. the fear, the anxiety and the love of it all.

"what the heck? what does her tattoo say then?" sooyoung gasps and brings her hands up to her mouth.

seungwan's face heats up at the mention of joohyun's tattoo, she really couldn't keep herself together for more than a minute to say a proper sentence.

"get her to show it to you because i feel stupid just thinking about it." the nerd admits as she covers her face with her hands.

seulgi snickers and removes her hands, "for what it's worth, i'm glad you actually spoke."

"me too, seul, me too."

"did you do anything other than talk?" sooyoung rolls her eyes in boredom. 

"we kissed … she kissed me … wait, i kissed her ..." seungwan lets a lopsided grin slip at the memory of joohyun's lips on hers.

sooyoung sits up straight and widens her eyes, "okay? i wasn't expecting that, how did you get to that?"

the nerd cringes and contemplates whether she should avoid the question, telling sooyoung that they sat in silence for almost an hour would mean she'd never shut up.

"it just happened, okay?" seungwan gives up on finding an excuse.

"okay, wannie. we'll just ask joohyun." seulgi grins.

with perfect timing, joohyun steps into the living room. "ask me what, seulgi?" she questions, looking at the three girls with a raised brow.

"seungwan-unnie said you guys kissed last night and we wanna know how it went down." sooyoung smirks.

park sooyoung will really be the death of her, seungwan expels a sharp exhale and sinks further into the couch in an attempt to disappear from existence.

but it doesn't faze joohyun one bit, she's too used to her family’s constant prying. with a small smile, she explains calmly, "she was going to head back and i chased after her, asking her to stay. and, then we kissed."

"why aren't you this romantic, sooyoung-ah?" seulgi looks to her best friend and then her soulmate.

seungwan feels the heat rushing to her cheeks and she looks at joohyun shyly. seulgi and sooyoung enter a mildly heated argument while she's still sandwiched between them. joohyun shoots her a warm smile before excusing herself to take a shower, leaving seungwan entrapped in a gradually unpleasant scenario.

the nerd has little to no idea what the couple is even arguing about, all she knows is that her body definitely needs more sleep — and she definitely wouldn’t mind curling up next to joohyun again. honestly, that’ll be the best thing in the world. sleeping in on a sunday all tucked up with her soulmate. 

“wannie, are you even listening?” her best friend pulls her from her daydreams with a snap of a finger.

“huh?”

“i asked, breakfast at munch or mcdonald’s?”

seungwan scrunches her face up, “why mcdonald’s?”

“it’s the perfect shitty food for a hangover,” sooyoung groans as she rests her head on her unnie’s shoulder, “which we both are.”

“serves you guys right,” seungwan shrugs the highschooler’s head off her shoulders mercilessly, “i’m getting breakfast with joohyun-unnie.”

sooyoung doesn’t hold back a loud gasp, “seul, baby, you heard that? she’s abandoning us for her soulmate!” she cries out dramatically.

“yah! your voice is too loud!”

“need i remind you that seulgi backstabbed me the minute you guys met?” the nerd clicks her teeth in annoyance. that memory is etched in a part of her brain that swears to never let them live it down for the rest of their lives.

as if on cue, yongsun swoops in to save the day before it descends into a full-blown and less than passive discussion. "do you guys ever stop arguing?" the brunette sighs while shaking her head.

"don’t drag me into this, i’m innocent" seungwan defends herself quickly. 

"those two were bickering over ketchup and tomato sauce last night," yongsun exposes them with her voice raised a pitch higher due to the absurdity of the situation, "i don't even know how it started!"

sooyoung hums tiredly, "oh i vaguely remember that, i was saying they're pretty much the same thing."

"they can't be the same thing!" the design major cries out in mock horror, "you wouldn't cook spaghetti with ketchup!"

"oh really? try me."

"the last time i ate your food it gave me a stomachache, i'd rather eat wannie's food!"

"nope! nope! do not bring me into this!" seungwan grunts with extra emphasis on the word ‘not’ and wrestles her way out from between the dysfunctional soulmates, "i want no part in your tomato and ketchup argument."

seulgi looks up with a pout, "but you're on my side, right?"

anyone with a working brain would side with park sooyoung, especially when the opposition is kang seulgi.

"i love you seul, but i’d rather not incur the wrath of park sooyoung at 8 in the morning.”

seulgi clicks her teeth and huffs while sooyoung sticks her tongue out playfully. "little shit …" 

"anyway, breakfast?" seungwan changes the topic before her two friends start a new argument.

a resounding yes is heard from the corridor as byulyi finally makes her way out of the darkness, “let’s go! together!” she croaks with a large grin.

and well, seungwan feels terrible if she rejects byulyi and the rest so she could have some private time with joohyun. so, of course, she agrees to a group breakfast.

with the sun fully risen, the temperatures aren’t as cold as before. seungwan misses how tightly joohyun had been clinging onto her. the group is mostly quiet when they make their way to the hub. the brand new soulmates find themselves trailing behind at a comfortable pace, away from the potential jabs that might come out of sooyoung’s mouth.

for the most part, seungwan is content to be with joohyun, even if it’s in the presence of others. but she finds herself uncomfortable with displaying her affections for joohyun when there are so many people around. it’d been okay when it was just the two of them in the wee hours of twilight and dawn but with her friends around, holding hands seem a little more daunting than it should be.

“i thought i could’ve had you all to myself today,” joohyun’s whisper reaches her ears and she turns to the older girl, “but i’m very wrong.”

a soft laugh escapes seungwan’s throat and she shrugs, “never hurts to spend some time with our friends, right?”

joohyun bites her lower lip and nods, “yeah but it’s our first day together.”

“we’ll have plenty more, that i’ll promise you right now.” seungwan declares firmly, to joohyun or herself, she’ll never quite know.

"cheesy." joohyun snickers and slips her small, freezing hand into seungwan's, "but i'll hold you to it."

with a firm bob of her head, the pair simply basks in each others' presence. they would save the words and conversations for later, to be with each other is enough for now.

breakfast is a simple affair, the group find themselves at munch. what used to be a weekly ritual for the two best friends is now a gathering session for all of their friends. and for a bunch of hungover partygoers, byulyi and seulgi are more talkative than anyone had expected. most of the time it's just the two creatives blabbering on whilst the rest listened in.

joohyun had decided about an hour in that seungwan’s bony shoulder would make a good headrest, so she shut her eyes and lets the world continue on without her.

“you’re gonna be so whipped.” sooyoung nudges her unnie in the elbow.

seungwan is cautious not to wake her soulmate so she cranes her neck slowly, “it’s not going to be as bad as you and seul.”

the highschooler puckers her lips and continues biting on her straw. “well, i just think it’s neat you got someone as caring as her. i’m happy for you, unnie.”

park sooyoung, being so — nice, is something that never happens. and maybe, it should be a cause of worry.

“sooyoung-ah, are you okay?” seungwan can’t help but snort even though she knows that the highschooler has good intentions. 

it’s just that she’s not used to their dynamic being anything but borderline hostile, seeing a less aggressive side of sooyoung is something unfamiliar but not unwelcome.

the younger girl shoots her a deadly glare, “why do i even bother being nice?” she huffs.

the nerd bites back a grin and reaches for sooyoung’s hand apologetically, “sorry, i appreciate it, i really do. thank you, sooyoung-ah.”

“i was going to make fun of you and joohyun-unnie being so clingy but i held my tongue because you guys are actually adorable together,” sooyoung rolls her eyes with a smirk, “but at the same time, you two look like little garden gnomes.”

“yah park sooyoung ..!” seungwan clicks her teeth in offence but can’t help but let a giggle slip at the highschooler’s comment.

“it’s kinda funny when you think about it, right?”

“i hate that you’re kinda right …”

breakfast ends on a good note and everyone wants to head home and sleep the rest of the weekend away. the couples begin to part ways after bidding each other farewell, save for seungwan and joohyun. do they say goodbye now? do they hang around each other for a little longer? defining their relationship is a little tough when neither party wants to come off as too much.

“are you going back to sleep ..?” seungwan shifts her weight from one leg to another uncertainly, well aware that seulgi and sooyoung are already much further ahead.

joohyun nods, “do you wanna …” she never finishes her sentence because seungwan is already nodding.

does seungwan want to spend the rest of her sunday napping with her soulmate? or does she want to spend the rest of her day with her soulmate? both questions would earn a resounding yes from her.

and lucky for her, it's a mix of both.

it mattered nought that their first day as soulmates is about to be spent on the most mundane of things like napping, because being cuddled up with joohyun under some warm duvets sounds more than perfect.

the two gnomes return to joohyun's room where, thankfully, the aftermath of the party did not reach. sure, the living room still needs cleaning but joohyun decided that it's on yongsun's shoulders for today.

today is a day for long naps and seungwan.

leading seungwan into her room, the pair is silent. joohyun flops onto her bed without a second thought while seungwan takes some time to examine joohyun’s little nest. it’s not as big as she thought it’d be, but it’s definitely more spacious than her shared dorm with seulgi. the room is lathered with sweet scents from the multiple candles that joohyun had around the room. though none of them are lit, a light and pleasant residue is still wafting through the air.

polaroids are pinned to a corkboard just by the door, pictures with friends and family undoubtedly. she manages to spot one with yeri dated back to october 2018, while joohyun looks pretty much the same, the younger girl has matured considerably. she has all the basic necessities of a room, but at the same time, it feels unbelievably cosy and fitting for someone like joohyun. 

“did you spot yerim?” joohyun asks while she lies on her belly, resting her head in her hand lazily.

seungwan bobs her head slowly, “she looks so different.”

“yeah, she wasn’t that much of a brat back then either.”

“i bet.”

sensing her apprehension, joohyun shifts herself to make space for seungwan on the bed. patting the spot next to her invitingly, she looks at seungwan with a welcoming gaze. the nerd accepts it by settling at the precipice awkwardly, maybe the adrenaline from last night helped her to feel less conscious about her actions.

“come on, i won’t bite.” joohyun sighs as she tugs at seungwan’s shirt lightly. 

she understands the nervousness that her soulmate is feeling, after all, she feels it too. they are so new to each other, so fragile in the eyes of the other. as if saying or doing the wrong things would mean the dire end of this new good thing in their lives. though she knows that’s hardly the case, they both just need time to adjust to this, even if it’s a good thing.

seungwan shifts herself further in and joohyun doesn’t waste another second in tackling her into a gentle hug. feeling no resistance from her love, she glances at the younger girl who still seems a little rigid.

“if there’s anything i do that makes you uncomfortable, you have to tell me. same goes for me, sound good?” joohyun offers a straightforward solution to their little predicament with a light smile.

the introvert bobs her head slowly and begins to relax into joohyun’s lovely embrace, “i like being hugged by you.”

“i like it too,” joohyun plants a tender kiss on the crown of her soulmate’s head, “now can i go back to sleep?”

“see you in my dreams, unnie.”

the incessant buzzing of a phone stirs seungwan awake. it takes her a moment to register where she is before blinking the sleep out of her eyes. finding herself entrapped by joohyun’s limbs, she struggles to raise her phone so that she could check who’s bothering her.

yeri

9 messages

that can’t be a good sign. something in the virtual world must be on fire otherwise yeri would never send her so many messages at once. opening up their conversation, she skims through the texts with a small yawn.

yeri:

hello??

12:05 pm

we have a practice for heretic hilla today

12:07 pm

did you forget??

12:07 pm

are you still asleep?

12:10 pm

you good?

12:12 pm

hey

12:12 pm

hey

12:12 pm

hey hey hey

12:12 pm

yah!!!!

12:12 pm

the panic that fills her body is unlike any other. this has never happened before, her sense of responsibility translates well into the online world. so how did she forget that she had a practice run for the newest boss today? opening up discord, she sees that her party members are all ready and waiting for their dear bishop to log in.

yeri today at 12:03 pm

@azure HELLO

azure today at 12:13 pm

🙏🙏 SORRY!!!

i got caught up with something

yeri today at 12:13 pm

get in the call NOW

she extricates herself from joohyun's arms slowly so as to not wake her soulmate but her less than elegant stumbling out of the room probably woke her anyway. shutting the door behind her, she enters the discord call with apprehension.

"yah! where are you?" yeri grumbles before she even has the chance to explain herself.

"did something happen?" oobie asks in a gentle tone.

seungwan has to lower the volume of her speaker so yeri's screeching doesn't wake the entire apartment block.

"sorry, i'm with joohyun-unnie," seungwan mumbles, "just give me like 15 minutes i'll run back to my dorm."

the sound of overlapping voices make it hard to differentiate who's speaking but she manages to catch a few questions.

"wait what?"

"say that again, azure."

"yeah, say it again!"

"i'll be back in my dorm in 15 minutes." seungwan repeats in a hushed whisper, making sure to enunciate each word slowly so they’d catch it this time.

"no! who are you with now?" luna shouts.

"joohyun-unnie …" seungwan mutters as she attempts to map out the fastest route back to aquila in her head.

the call erupts with gasps and cries of disbelief and shock, she has to pull the phone away from her ear so she doesn’t blow her eardrums out.

"yah!"

"no way! azure you did it?!"

"she confessed! she confessed!"

“yes i did!” seungwan hisses, “now let me hang up so i can tell her i gotta go!”

a hand finds itself on her arm and she almost recoils in surprise. snapping her head to the left, she finds that joohyun had been awoken.

“is everything okay?” the senior mumbles with a small yawn.

“oh my god! joohyun-unnie!” yeri yells from the call but her boisterous voice still emerges loud and clear.

blinking the sleep out of her eyes, joohyun turns her attention to seungwan’s phone. “what’s going on?” she demands with a frown.

seungwan grimaces and begins to explain, “sorry, i forgot i’ve got a practice run today and my friends are waiting for me.”

“is it important?” joohyun runs a hand through her hair with a pout.

“uh … it’s just a practice run but …” seungwan trails off when her breath is caught in her throat, merely watching joohyun is enough to distract her from her thoughts.

“okay, skip it then. i don’t feel like sharing you today.”

seungwan can’t help but let a grin slip, she snakes an arm around joohyun’s waist and hands her phone over, “can you tell yeri?” 

shaking her head with an amused scoff, joohyun obliges. “hello?” she greets while raising an eyebrow at seungwan.

“hi unnie! i know you guys just met but can you let azure go?”

joohyun is relentless when it comes to spending time with her new soulmate. it seems like the universe is taking every opportunity to snatch her soulmate away and she’s not going to let that happen so easily. 

“no.” a swift and firm reply should allow her soulmate to stay.

“yah! why not?” yeri whines.

with a tired sigh, joohyun brings the phone closer. “because i’ve been waiting almost 8 years for her and we finally met. is it too much to want her all to myself? you guys have spent more time with her than i have, let me have this one day.”

the call turns silent and seungwan can feel her face flushing with how possessive joohyun seems. though she's certain that joohyun would let her go if she wanted to, she didn't exactly want to anymore. her friends would definitely make fun of her later when she logs in.

the silence is broken when bread breaks out in a snicker, “alright, alright. azure’s soulmate gets her for today.”

“thank you.” joohyun’s lips tug upwards into a large smile, “also, you’re going to get it from me the next time we meet, kim yerim-ah.”

“aish, unnie, you haven’t even bought me lunch!”

“i am not doing this right now,” joohyun declares and hands seungwan her phone, “i’m going back to sleep.”

seungwan lets joohyun return to her room while she bids her friends a swift farewell. “sorry guys, we can talk later. i gotta go for now.”

“go on, don’t keep your soulmate waiting!” oobie chases her away by disconnecting her from the call.

usually, she’d be upset that she’d miss a boss run with her friends. but today, she’s glad for the change of events. it’s unlikely that she’ll be able to concentrate even if she does leave joohyun. she’d be too distracted by the thoughts of her soulmate clouding her mind to focus on anything. biting back a grin, she returns to joohyun’s bed and warm arms instantly wrap themselves around her waist.

“do i have to book you for today? how do i stop people from trying to steal you away from me?” the senior mumbles while seungwan is crawling back to her side.

“i’m all yours today, promise. no one else is going to try anything.”

“good.”

joohyun settles comfortably on her chest, falling asleep within mere seconds. seungwan takes the time to gaze at her soulmate and the thought that has been echoing in her head resurfaces once again — she's so lucky to have joohyun.

and as promised, seungwan stays for the rest of the afternoon. keeping her soulmate company while she remained knocked out for hours, only shifting ever so slightly when she felt seungwan shift.

they share a simple dinner, seungwan whipping up a meal consisting of leftover ingredients from the fridge. it’s not the best but it’ll have to do. eventually, joohyun lets her soulmate leave because her cousin just wouldn’t stop texting her to release azure from her grubby little hands.

and seungwan doesn’t leave without showering joohyun in a plethora of hugs and a promise that she’ll text her a little later. slowly but steadily, they’ll learn to spell out what it really means to have someone’s first words as your tattoo.

joohyun-unnie:

is kim yerim satisfied now?

10:40 pm

seungwan:

not exactly

10:41 pm

she’s mad at me because she lost the bet

10:41 pm

joohyun-unnie:

😤 if only she had more faith in you

10:42 pm

seungwan:

if only 🤭

10:42 pm

joohyun-unnie:

not sure how i’m going to fall asleep tonight

10:42 pm

you let me sleep for way too long

10:42 pm

seungwan:

it’s not my fault you looked so peaceful while you slept 😔 

10:43 pm

joohyun-unnie:

it’s your fault because you made for such a great napping companion

10:43 pm

seungwan:

😗 well … i’m glad to be of service

10:43 pm

joohyun-unnie:

anyway …

10:43 pm

i know i said we could take it slow

10:44 pm

but how do you feel about a date tomorrow?

10:44 pm

seungwan:

a date? 😳

10:44 pm

joohyun-unnie:

yeah, what do you think?

10:44 pm

seungwan:

i think …

10:45 pm

bae joohyun? the hottest girl on campus? the senior i’ve seen on posters around school? asking someone like me out?

10:45 pm

unbelievable 😲

10:45 pm

joohyun-unnie:

YAH!!

10:45 pm

seungwan:

🤭 just kidding

10:46 pm

i think that sounds really nice

10:46 pm

we could meet around 12 for lunch so you can sleep in a little more

10:46 pm

joohyun-unnie:

🥺 okay

10:46 pm

we could catch a movie after that~

10:47 pm

seungwan:

horror? heard there’s a really good one that just came out recently

10:47 pm

joohyun-unnie:

NO

10:47 pm

😭 anything but horror please!!

10:47 pm

seungwan:

👀 when you put it like that … we definitely have to

10:48 pm

joohyun-unnie:

seungwan-ah 😭😭

10:48 pm

seungwan:

😂 fine

10:48 pm

we can check if there’s anything good that’s not horror

10:48 pm

but if there’s nothing good, we’re watching something scary 👻

10:49 pm

joohyun-unnie:

i’ll go home 😤

10:49 pm

seungwan:

no!! 😔😔!!

10:49 pm

okay, okay! no horror at all!

10:49 pm

joohyun-unnie:

i’m trusting you

10:50 pm

seungwan:

yes~ 😬

10:50 pm

i gotta go, yeri’s yelling at me again

10:50 pm

joohyun-unnie:

i’ll yell at her for you 🤬

10:50 pm

seungwan:

🥰 appreciate it unnie, but i got this

10:51 pm

joohyun-unnie:

have fun~

10:51 pm

the psychology senior wishes she could say she had a good night’s rest before her first official date with her soulmate — but she spent a good part of it tossing and turning in bed until the fatigue finally overtook her.

waking up in the morning to someone shaking her aggressively isn’t the most ideal, but nonetheless, she’s awake. sobering up slowly, she registers yongsun’s presence in her room, which isn’t the most uncommon thing. but her body being uncomfortably warm isn’t the most common thing either.

“what?” she demands but her voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. 

“you’ve been asleep for like 12 hours, i thought you died.” yongsun folds her arms across her chest, “are you okay?”

sitting up in a sluggish haze, she squints at the only clock in her room. it’s a quarter past twelve. the realisation that she’s late for her date with seungwan settles in almost instantly.

"yah! you're burning up." yongsun's brows furrow in worry after she places a hand on joohyun's forehead.

"i'm fine, i'm late to meet seungwan …" joohyun sniffles as she scrambles out of bed.

that was a bad move, she's instantly hit with a throbbing headache. pinching the bridge of her nose, she attempts to fight it but is quickly faced with defeat.

"you're not fine, you're sick." yongsun sighs at her stubborn friend, "give me your phone."

“why?” the model mumbles, stumbling momentarily only to find herself back in bed where she yields to her body.

“i’m texting seungwan,” the brunette explains simply, “there’s no way you’re going out in this condition.”

a whine escapes joohyun’s throat, “but it’s our first date ..!”

“if you’d taken better care of yourself in the weeks prior, you wouldn’t have fallen sick so easily!” yongsun chides harshly, scouring the room for joohyun’s phone and she finds it tucked by her bed.

if the tables were turned, yongsun foresees herself attempting to clamber out of bed too. and joohyun would never let her set foot out the door until she was fully recovered. it’s just the right thing to do for this idiot in love. bringing the phone to her face, yongsun prompts her sick roommate to unlock it.  joohyun, in her haze, obliges without much of a struggle.

son seungwan

4 messages

son seungwan:

good morning!!!

11:01 am

hope you had a good sleep, can't wait to see you!

11:01 am

are you up? i'm leaving my room now~

11:55 am

unnie?

12:07 pm

joohyun:

sorry to disappoint, yongsun here

12:13 pm

joohyun's sick and i'm not letting her go out

12:13 pm

not like she's up for it anyway

12:13 pm

son seungwan:

sick? is she okay?

12:14 pm

does she need anything?

12:14 pm

joohyun:

probably just the flu

12:14 pm

we've got some meds that should help

12:14 pm

but i should be picking up lunch unless you wanna come over

12:15 pm

son seungwan:

take care of her

12:15 pm

i’ll get some food and be right over

12:15 pm

joohyun:

you can expect her to be extra whiny

12:15 pm

son seungwan:

gotcha, thanks unnie

12:16 pm

"you name your soulmate's contact as her full name?" yongsun comments upon finishing a quick exchange with seungwan, "i'm shocked that you even saved my number."

her witty remark is met with silence and yongsun looks up from the phone only to find that her roommate has curled up into a ball at the edge of the bed. the great news is she’s fallen back asleep and the not so great news is that she could fall off the bed at any time. using her strength, yongsun maneuvers the smaller girl’s body with minimal difficulty, ensuring that she’s all tucked in and safe.

this idiot has had a rough couple of weeks, it's a miracle she's managed to last this long without crumbling. hopefully with son seungwan, she can expect a life with more ups instead of downs.

yongsun leaves her roommate to rest while she scours their apartment for resources to nurse a sickly joohyun.

worry is the only thing that seungwan feels when she makes her way from the university’s train station back to the hub. she suspected something was up when joohyun hadn’t replied to her earlier texts, but she chalked it up to the possibility that the senior had merely overslept.

knowing that her soulmate is down with an illness makes her feel uneasy, every fibre of her being just wants joohyun to be safe and happy. as much as she hates to admit it, sooyoung is right about her being whipped for joohyun — this is a loss she’ll take any day.

her limbs move on autopilot as she hurries around campus grounds, getting food appropriate for her ill soulmate before rushing over to the cygnus dorms.

it’s a quarter to one when yongsun greets her at the door, offering a warm smile and a side hug as she ushers the younger girl in.

“is she okay?” is the first thing that leaves seungwan’s lips, unable to mask the worry that’s plaguing her right now.

yongsun nods as she helps the nerd place lunch on the table, “she’s sleeping now. i gave her something to bring down the fever but if that doesn’t work, i’ll take her to a doctor.”

essentially, seungwan is powerless. perhaps the furrow of her brows gave it away but the brunette rests a hand on her shoulder to offer some reassurance.

“she’ll be okay, it’s nothing more than a bout of flu.” the senior coos, "you can go see her, maybe wake her up to eat a little later."

the nerd bobs her head weakly and mumbles something to excuse herself so she could be with her newfound love. it really sucks that when she's finally spoken to joohyun, a bunch of obstacles just happen to pop up as well.

she enters her soulmate's ever so cosy room to find her all wrapped up in a cocoon of her sheets. her pale lips are a telltale sign of unwellness, followed by the sniffling and ragged breathing signalling uncomfort. seungwan can't bear to admit that it breaks her heart a little to see joohyun so vulnerable.

the nerd settles on the floor by the bed, making sure to keep a distance so she doesn't catch whatever nasties that have infected joohyun. and she watches and waits.

eventually, joohyun stirs awake and seungwan is instantly tending to her. wrinkling her nose, the senior offers an apologetic smile.

"sorry i missed our first date …" her voice is nothing more than a raspy whisper.

seungwan moving a stray strand of hair aside from joohyun's face, "it's okay, we can go on a proper one when you're better."

"but it's our first …" she tries to argue.

"we'll have plenty of firsts," seungwan offers her soulmate a glass of water before mumbling a string of soothing words, "this can be the first time i take care of you, it's not exactly the most romantic but it's still a first."

pushing herself up with some assistance from seungwan, joohyun accepts the glass with small sips. her limbs are aching so badly and the throbbing in her head has yet to cease. she hates being sick, obviously preferring that her body works as it should. having seungwan by her side is comforting in its own ways, to be taken care of by her soulmate sounds nice.

reaching a hand out, she leaves a gentle pat on seungwan's head. "thank you."

a quiet scoff escapes her soulmate's lips, "what for?" seungwan questions with a mildly worried gaze.

"being here."

"you're thanking me for the bare minimum," the little nerd chuckles and rests her head on the edge of the bed whilst looking up at her soulmate, "i think the fever's getting to you."

"maybe it is."

or maybe it's how she's looking forward to everything now that she's got someone to spend the rest of her life with.

Chapter Text

spending the majority of her day at joohyun’s apartment isn’t how seungwan envisioned how she would spend her semester break. but alas, life had different plans for the little nerd.

she found it almost impossible to leave joohyun on the first day of her falling ill, the sight of her soulmate curled up under her sheets with a trail of snot dribbling down her nose didn’t incite the most pleasant feelings. so she spent the day tending to every single one of joohyun’s needs, only leaving when she needed to get a change of clothes and returning to spend the night right after.

the older girl’s condition had shown improvement after ingesting the medication that yongsun had given her, but she wasn’t at a hundred percent just yet. though a little feverish and delirious at times, she’s more than aware that the fluttering she feels is a result of seungwan’s tenderness and not her sickness. you’d expect that growing up in a big family meant that joohyun would be less of a stranger to affection, but that's hardly the case. it didn't mean that she has never felt love, it just came in more distant forms that are rarely affectionate. 

with seungwan, it feels like something within her is shifting. 

seungwan takes it upon herself to prepare joohyun's meals, even making her version of hot lemon water, though she's certain that joohyun's one is much tastier.

they spend the next day with the intention of binging movies with a laptop between them, but joohyun has energy for half a movie before she's steadily snoring on seungwan's shoulder. the nerd doesn't finish a single movie, simply because she wants to wait for joohyun.

she opts to read up on subjects for the upcoming school year instead. the quiet breathing of her soulmate helps her to focus a little better. well, it's mostly just nice to have company for once.

“are you ever going to let me into your instagram?”

“why?”

“i’m just curious …”

“i don’t even post anything though … i only use it to lurk …”

“you have three posts!”

“they’re from years ago, seulgi made me post them.”

“can i see?”

“it’s kinda embarrassing …”

“i’ve got sick people rights, let me in …” joohyun whines and pouts at seungwan before blowing her nose into a wad of tissue.

damn her sick people rights , seungwan couldn’t find it in herself to say no to her soulmate when she’s getting her ass kicked by a virus. she finally taps on the big blue confirm button and lets joohyun do all the lurking she wants.

renebaebae started following you. 10 s

a chortle is accompanied with a loud cough when joohyun finally sees the three hidden posts that have been kept from her for weeks. oh, how it is all worth the wait.

joohyun’s condition fluctuates for a few days. seungwan has done everything she can to make sure she’s taken care of, the rest is up to joohyun. she can’t help but feel helpless even though her soulmate reassures her that her presence is more than enough. by wednesday, seungwan and yongsun come to a consensus and lug her feverish body to the nearest clinic.

a simple diagnosis, nothing but the flu, probably from the weeks of academic and emotional strain. with some stronger medication, joohyun begins to inch her way back to the world of the living.

by the eighth day of their meeting, joohyun is somewhat recovered and conscious enough to get through the day without sleeping. her fevers are a thing of the past but her body is taking it’s time to return to normal. seungwan still lingers at the senior’s apartment, cooking, cleaning and keeping an eye on her stubborn soulmate who would insist she’s fine before coughing her lungs out a second later.

it’s a sunday and yongsun is out on a date with byulyi, giving the new pair some privacy or getting some privacy for themselves, who knows? the most they’ve done is decide what to eat for lunch. they settle on beef stew, a recipe from seungwan’s mother. the younger girl has always enjoyed creating dishes and pastries with her mother back at home. going to university, has thankfully, not dulled her culinary skills. sure, she isn’t at her prime anymore, but at least the food she puts out are still edible.  

joohyun has been watching her tiny soulmate work her magic at the stove and she thanks the gods with reverence because seungwan is a talented cook. she’s gotten really lucky to relish in the assortment of recipes of sick people food that seungwan has under her belt. if it were up to her, she’d probably be eating oatmeal or wet rice that cannot be considered as congee.

her heart swells with gratitude and she mumbles from the kitchen counter, "thank you for taking care of me for the past week."

joohyun’s words have broken the tranquillity they’ve settled into, they’ve been vibing to seungwan’s playlist of ten songs on repeat and she’s got all the titles memorised in her head. ‘ you feel like’ comes on shuffle and all joohyun can think of is how apt the song is at reflecting her feelings.

the little nerd scoffs lightly without turning, "how many times do i have to say it? it's what i'm supposed to do."

"yet, i can still be grateful, can't i?" the senior sighs with a smile tugging at her lips. resting her cheek in her hand, a certain calmness washes over her, like she’s been so strung up for her entire life and this is the first time she truly relaxes.

the younger girl turns her head slightly and bobs it in the general direction of joohyun. "in that case, you're welcome." she chuckles, giving in to her soulmate with ease.

watching seungwan prance around the kitchen feels like she's getting a taste of the domestic life that awaits them in the future. and this future doesn't seem so far away as it did before.

"i think i'd like this." 

"like what?"

"a life with you, son seungwan."

a simple sentence causes seungwan to freeze in her spot. joohyun has been pretty liberal with her words of affection, but they mostly happen when she’s barely conscious, so the younger girl doesn’t take her too seriously. this time, she’s certain that her soulmate is sober, but still, she’s not sure how much of it is actually true. a skip of a heartbeat leads to a small grin on her cheeks.

"cheese." the little nerd deflects with ease as she resumes cooking.

"i'm serious."

seungwan hums as she stirs the stew she’s been working on for slightly over an hour, "is this because i've spent the last few days as your napping companion?"

“yes,” joohyun plays along with a light scoff, “you made for a really comfortable headrest and i’m not about to give that up so easily.”

the older girl saunters over to her soulmate before snaking her arms around her waist. burying her face in seungwan's back, she inhales deeply with contentment. mixed with the delicious scent of a stew, her soulmate's scent is soothing. her heart is finally at ease after weeks of turmoil and all the waiting is worth it.

spending a few days together have led to discoveries from both parties. joohyun is a big fan of cuddles while seungwan lets her do as she pleases — not that she minded being snuggled against in the slightest. now that there's no longer a virtual barrier between them, every action or word is a little more genuine.

it's strange. texting joohyun in the earlier weeks merely feels like a trial period and now that they're in it for the long run, everything seems much more intense. her feelings are a lot more intense.

"lunch is ready if you're ready to release me from your grubby hands." seungwan teases as she leans back into joohyun's embrace.

yeri had been going off about how her cousin had kidnapped azure since seungwan couldn't find the time to get online. the archer, albeit a little annoyed that she lost the soulmate bet , as her friends had coined, is still elated that the pair is finally together.

a muffled groan escapes joohyun's throat, "next time i see kim yerim, she's going to catch my grubby little hands."

seungwan chuckles and places down the spoon she'd been holding before turning to face her soulmate. joohyun looks at her with a soft gaze and the nerd can't stop her heart from dissolving into mush. withholding the urge to kiss her, seungwan buries her face in the crook of joohyun's neck instead. 

her friends, including seulgi, would make fun of her if they knew that she's too shy to kiss her soulmate. the son seungwan on the day of the confession has ceased to exist, she's back to the good old son seungwan who chickens out on a regular basis.

they stay like that for a little, basking in each other's warmth until the grumbling of joohyun's stomach forces them apart.

"as much as i enjoy this, unfortunately, you can't survive on hugs."

"a little longer?"

"this is the one time i refuse to give in, time to eat."

"okay …"

"don't look at me like that …"

"seungwan-ah …"

"fine, one more minute."

seulbear 🐻:

is joohyun better?

3:20 pm

seungwan:

fever's pretty much gone but she's still got a runny nose

3:22 pm

seulbear 🐻:

good to hear

3:22 pm

are you coming back today?

3:22 pm

seungwan:

why? 

3:22 pm

seulbear 🐻:

sooyoung's coming over 😈

3:23 pm

seungwan:

forget i asked 

3:23 pm

i'll come back next semester 🤮

3:23 pm

seulbear 🐻:

wannie no!!!

3:23 pm

just give me a heads up

3:24 pm

seungwan:

fine … i'll probably be back at night

3:24 pm

seulbear 🐻:

okay great!!! 

3:24 pm

that's plenty of time 😗

3:24 pm

seungwan:

STOP

3:25 pm

I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW

3:25 pm

seulbear 🐻:

what’s wrong 😗😗😗

3:25 pm

don’t think i haven’t peeped at your browser history

3:25 pm

seungwan:

you don’t scare me, park sooyoung

3:26 pm

like the valorant videos?

3:26 pm

seulbear 🐻:

honestly unnie how many videos titled AGGRESIVE RAZE PLAYS are you going to watch

3:26 pm

i’m so glad you found your soulmate

3:26 pm

go get a life nerd

3:27 pm

seungwan:

i am … 🙄

3:27 pm

seulbear 🐻:

love you wannie!! 😘

3:27 pm

lunch consisted of beef stew and the other half of the movie that they couldn't finish because joohyun fell asleep. fortunately, she stays awake through it all this time.

they spend the afternoon relaxing to one of joohyun’s playlist instead, chatting about the little things and everything in between. they don't talk about hard stuff like families and the future yet. all they're focusing on is this budding love between them, planning for their first date all over again.

they shelve ideas for a picnic date for warmer days and amusement park dates for when joohyun is fully recovered. their first date would be dinner at a restaurant in town that has just opened up, nothing too romantic or over the top. 

and by nightfall, yongsun deems that joohyun is healthy enough to not require seungwan's presence around the clock. so the senior chases the little nerd back to her dorm, muttering something along the lines of – you two inseparable lovebirds need to chill .

seungwan unwillingly trudges back to aquila, though she can’t deny she misses her bed a tiny bit. being all snuggled up next to joohyun for the last few days has been a pleasant treat, she might consider sneaking back to cygnus if her soulmate requests it.

she shoots seulgi a text on the way back, not wanting to catch the couple in the midst of any indecent acts. one time had been scarring enough, seungwan would sell her kidney if it meant erasing the sight of their bare bodies from their minds.

seungwan:

i'm coming back

9:01 pm

yongsun chased me out

9:01 pm

seulbear 🐻:

okay!!!

9:02 pm

can’t wait to see you!!!

9:02 pm

seungwan:

you sound so suspicious …

9:02 pm

seulbear 🐻:

i’m not!!

9:02 pm

it's a little after 9 when the nerd makes it back to her dorm, it feels strange to not have to rush back to joohyun. maybe tonight she'll finally be able to hop into a discord call to answer all her friends' burning questions — they’ve been pestering her non-stop on various messaging platforms since she hadn’t been online in game.

opening the door to her room, she's greeted with the deafening booms of party poppers going off.

"jesus!" she blurts in surprise and recoils back.

taking a second to collect herself, she inhales a deep breath and takes on the sight before her. her shared dorm room is filled with balloons while seulgi is holding remnants of a party popper and sooyoung is capturing the entire thing down. confetti is still gently gliding down and the only question seungwan has is, why?

"what's going on?" the nerd furrows her brows as she takes a cautious step into the room.

sooyoung points towards the back of the room where a horribly constructed banner is taped to the wall. a message, made out of a couple of pieces of A4 paper conjoined together horizontally, written in crayon or colored pencils. seungwan can't really tell from the distance but she could still read it.

CONGRATULATIONs

clearly, these two winged it. the letter 's' at the end is squished in with the rest, as if they forgot about it. and to think that seulgi is pursuing a degree in graphic design, the least she could do is have equal kerning between the letters.

holding back a snicker, seungwan raises an eyebrow curiously, "congratulations for ..?"

"for finally confessing to kiyub, wannie!" seulgi exclaims as she reaches for another party popper.

this time, seungwan is more prepared and plugs her ears as seulgi pulls the string with a worrying amount of glee. covering her ears mitigated the loudness of it but it still makes her flinch slightly.

"congrats!" seulgi throws her hands up excitedly as confetti begins falling on the introvert.

seungwan cracks into a grin and brushes the small pieces of paper off her head. once everything has settled, she hops over the pool of balloons to pull her friends into a big hug. one arm for each is the best she can do with her small frame. they reciprocate it with ease, absorbing her into their warmth.

"thanks guys," she beams, the crumbling banner lining up in her line of sight, "what's up with the s on the banner though?"

"it's a long story." seulgi grumbles.

"it's not long at all, it's just my baby can't spell."

"why'd you leave it to me then?"

"what's the point of studying design if you're not going to put it to use?"

"designers aren't artists, we're problem solvers!"

gripping her friends a little tighter, seungwan makes the couple shut up. "okay, come on, that's enough. it's janky as hell but i love it.”

surrounded in a sea of balloons with her two best friends, seungwan is reminded of how love can come in so many different forms. and she just knows that nothing could ever come close to what she feels for joohyun.

joohyun:

i miss you already

10:10 pm

son seungwan:

just say the word and i’ll be right over 🏃

10:13 pm

joohyun:

i watched seulgi’s story

10:13 pm

go hang out with your friends!

10:13 pm

when seungwan finally let joohyun into her private instagram, the model gave her friends a follow as well. and frankly, she’s getting more updates about her soulmate from her friends instead, which still works in her favour. it seems like they were celebrating something with beer and fried chicken.

son seungwan:

i am!

10:13 pm

these two little shits wanted to celebrate my confession

10:14 pm

but if you want me to come over again, i’ll be there

10:14 pm

joohyun:

no!! celebrate with your friends

10:14 pm

you deserve it 

10:14 pm

besides, you could use some fun after taking care of me

10:15 pm

the senior had also found out about the many attempts in which seungwan avoided her. hilarious yes, but also frustratingly puzzling. she just couldn’t comprehend what her soulmate was so afraid of but decides it’s not worth questioning.

son seungwan:

spending time with you is fun too 😔

10:15 pm

anyway, seulgi is pestering me to send you a picture she took of me

10:15 pm

do you wanna see it?

10:15 pm

joohyun:

of course 😊 

10:16 pm

son seungwan:

seulgi says i look cute here

10:16 pm

(photo)

10:16 pm

the model opens up the picture with anticipation, not entirely sure what she should be expecting. her soulmate stands under a poorly made banner, covered in confetti while holding onto a blue balloon. a wink plastered on her face accompanied with a large beaming smile sets the celebratory mood for the picture.

joohyun laughs in amusement but at the same time, her chest swells with love for her adorable little soulmate.

joohyun:

yah!! who gave you the rights to be this precious!!!

10:16 pm

i’m swooning so hard~~

10:17 pm

🥰😘💖😍❤️💕🥰💞💓💗😘💘❣️

10:17 pm

son seungwan:

😳 wow

10:17 pm

seulgi says you're whipped

10:17 pm

joohyun:

🙄 and!!

10:18 pm

son seungwan:

she says that's good because she won't accept anyone as my soulmate if they don't shower me with love

10:18 pm

joohyun:

tell her she has nothing to worry about

10:18 pm

you're going to get all of my love 😉

10:18 pm

son seungwan:

sooyoung just gagged but i'm honored 🤭

10:19 pm

what are you up to anyway?

10:19 pm

joohyun:

nothing much, i was watching cooking videos

10:19 pm

and then i got bored

10:19 pm

son seungwan:

awaiting the day where chef bae makes an appearance 😗

10:20 pm

joohyun:

i would rather not poison you~

10:20 pm

son seungwan:

it can't be that bad

10:20 pm

joohyun:

i think you'll eat your words once you see this

10:20 pm

(photo)

10:21 pm

it's a picture of a fried egg she tried to make a while back, but she messed it up so badly that it looked comical. yongsun cackled at her before frying her a perfect sunny side up.

son seungwan:

oh …

10:21 pm

well … um ...

10:21 pm

i'm not the best cook but i can teach you how to fry an egg … 😶

10:21 pm

joohyun:

i think i'd prefer if you cooked for me instead 😗

10:22 pm

son seungwan:

we could have a cooking session

10:22 pm

or a baking session! that might be more fun!

10:22 pm

joohyun:

baking, huh?

10:22 pm

is there anything you can't do?

10:23 pm

son seungwan:

i can't sleep with you tonight 😔

10:23 pm

joohyun:

do you wanna come over that badly?

10:23 pm

son seungwan:

maybe ..?

10:23 pm

i wouldn't have left if yongsun-unnie didn't chase me away 😢

10:24 pm

joohyun:

i know 😉

10:24 pm

but we'll see each other tomorrow too

10:24 pm

go enjoy your celebration with your friends in case they turn into another kim yerim

10:24 pm

son seungwan:

they're probably glad i'm venturing into the outside world

10:25 pm

but okay i will spend some time with them today

10:25 pm

joohyun:

👋 go on~

10:25 pm

"ah look, she's got that dumb smile again." sooyoung sneers as she sips on some beer.

the trio had cleared some space in the middle of the room so they could feast on a meal of fried chicken wings and beer. they occasionally hang out when seungwan feels up for some third-wheeling or when seulgi insists that she comes along. so there they sit, seungwan leaning against the side of her bed while sooyoung is lying on seulgi's lap across her.

the nerd rolls her eyes in retort and tosses her phone aside, "yeah, yeah, i'm happy! what about it!" she huffs loudly whilst reaching for a piece of chicken.

"let her live, sooyoungie," seulgi's words are spoken between munches, "we're celebrating for her after all."

seungwan sticks her tongue out, "yeah, heard that?"

"fine." the highschooler groans loudly and shrugs. "but honestly, you're probably the only person who'll get a celebration for confessing to their soulmate."

the introvert looks to her best friend for back up but when there's food, seulgi is good as mute. her older friend is currently munching her way through another piece of chicken without a care in the world.

"you guys did this on your own accord!" seungwan frowns as she bites into a piece of chicken, rending its delicious flesh from its bones.

"the whole situation was absurd from start to end anyway." sooyoung deadpans, "maybe we should head out to the temples to thank the gods tomorrow."

seungwan clicks her teeth in offence as the younger girl snickers.

"i thought you guys would be happier, at least i'm spending time with someone else apart from you two." the nerd sighs with a slight pout.

seulgi bobs her head aggressively, "we are! but our banter usually revolves around you."

"aww … you guys are so sweet." seungwan says with sarcasm dripping all over her words.

"anyway," sooyoung sits up lazily, "what are your plans with joohyun-unnie?"

seungwan questions curiously, "plans?"

"like about your future, she's pretty much done with school right? what are you guys going to do?" the highschooler elaborates a little.

they've barely met a few days ago and sooyoung is already asking about their future. joohyun's nosey aunts could be given a run for their money.

a rise of her shoulders is the only response she has, "it's a little early, sooyoung-ah. we haven't even gone out on a proper date and she’s been sick for the past week."

“yeah, we know. it’s so quiet without your snoring.”

“i don’t snore!”

“okay, it’s more like aggressive breathing i suppose.”

sooyoung shushes them with a wave of her hand, "enough about that, when’s your first date going to be?"

"tomorrow, probably." seungwan shrugs.

a glimmer in sooyoung’s eyes signals that the conversation has finally piqued her interest, "ooh, what are you going to wear?"

"my usual clothes ..?" seungwan mumbles questioningly while she chews away.

"are you not going to dress up?" the highschooler is clearly offended by her nonchalance, but the nerd pays her no mind.

"do i have to?”

"don't you wanna look good for your first date?"

seungwan speaks with a tint of exasperation in her voice, "yeah but … you know me … i'm not good at things like these."

loud tuts of disapproval leave sooyoung’s lips and then she commands the nerd to get up and start picking clothes out.

it quickly descends into an argument before seungwan begrudgingly agrees. she could be harsh at times but the highschooler is merely saving her from a potential fashion disaster. it’s not like she has a bad fashion sense, but everything in her wardrobe is simple, nothing screams first date material.

the rest of the night is filled with snarky comments from sooyoung as she tries to put seungwan in outfits that might impress joohyun, even borrowing a couple of pieces from seulgi. but of course, it doesn’t really work out when half the time the nerd is whining that it’s not her style. they eventually settle on a white blouse and dark beige pants — simple, smart and casual, as sooyoung would say.

“so who’s going to clean up the mess?” seungwan mumbles from her bed after they spent almost three hours trying on almost every outfit the pair of best friends owned.

their room looks like it’s been through hell. with balloons, remnants of fast food and clothes littered all around, she’s not sure if there’s even space for sleeping tonight. she’s even lying on some clothes but it’s not like she has the energy to care anymore.

“not me.” sooyoung dodges the responsibility with ease as she hops onto seulgi’s bed.

seulgi lets out a loud sigh from her spot on the ground and gives in, “ fine … it’s only so you can enjoy your day with your girlfriend, okay?” 

girlfriend. seungwan hadn’t considered that at all. kiyub has always just been a person in her head. but that person is now joohyun and while they are soulmates, she’s not sure if they can be considered girlfriends. are they ready for this label?

“we’re not … girlfriends … yet ..?” seungwan responds with uncertainty as she continues to ponder over this new epiphany.

"c'mon, you guys are literally soulmates, isn't it pretty much guaranteed that you're going to be girlfriends?" sooyoung retorts as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

romantic relationships are entirely new territory for seungwan. considering how she isn't the best at friendships, it might be good to take things slow, even if their fate is set in stone.

"well, yeah but i think i'm still warming up to the idea of having someone for life. i wanna do things one step at a time." the little nerd admits genuinely as she stares at the ceiling blankly.

"you're going to get married at 50 at this rate."

"so be it," seungwan shrugs, "if she's willing to be that patient with me, i'd gladly marry her at 50."

"ugh … you've become so cheesy, unnie!"

seulgi lets out a sound that sounds like a mix between a groan and a whine, "wannie would make a really good flirt if she had the courage!"

"and thankfully, i don't."

"people would be falling for your greasy lines left and right."

a quick glance at each other and both seungwan and sooyoung knows that seulgi is drunk. drunk seulgi is usually harmless, though she spews the weirdest things. it’s like someone put her brain on a random word generator and then it’s a challenge to say the most confusing things as quickly as possible.

"seul, baby, i think it's time to sleep."

"no wait i'm not done hyping my best friend up!"

"go on, i'm enjoying this theoretically flirty version of me." the nerd encourages cheekily, knowing fully well that she probably won't remember what she said tomorrow.

"and like … you'd have a really cool english name like wendy! "

"wendy?" sooyoung snorts, "what would my english name be?"

"joy," seulgi responds almost instantly, like she has known the answer for the longest time now, "because you bring so much joy to everyone around you."

a chortle escapes seungwan’s lips, "okay, who's the cheesy one now?"

"you, duh. when my baby does it, she's the sweetest."

"you've got some serious double standards there, park sooyoung …"

"oh really? i wasn't aware."

" aish …"

"hey!” seulgi pips up, demanding for attention before beginning another ramble. or rather a glorified mumbling of words. “and like … maybe you would be a really cool singer … what if we were all singers … " in the midst of picturing an alternate universe, seulgi decides to shut her eyes and let hypnos claim her.

"called it …" sooyoung sighs, who the hell even dozes off mid-sentence? she crawls out of bed to haul her drunken soulmate into bed. 

the room still lies in chaos but it would be a problem for tomorrow. the two sober ones have come to a silent and mutual agreement after dimming the lights.

"goodnight."

"nights, unnie."

tonight, seungwan lets contentment wash over her, making sure that she etches this feeling into her heart forever. it’s amazing to be alive in a world full of love and she’s so grateful to merely be here.

sleeping in on a weekday is something to get used to, at least for the next week or two before the new semester starts. but despite the extra shut-eye, she still feels sluggish, probably due to the thrills from the previous night.

the two best friends and one demon spend an hour or two cleaning up the mess they've caused. as much as seungwan whines, nothing beats spending time with her friends. it's a worthwhile tradeoff in her opinion.

the nerd texts her soulmate throughout the day, multiple mentions of their upcoming date pop up during their chats. their botched first date a few days ago didn’t feel as serious because it was so spontaneous. this time, it's exciting but also slightly nerve-wracking. it's not the first time she's going to be with joohyun alone but it's their first date . slapping a label on things always makes them seem more important.

by the time the sun begins to set, seungwan is all dressed up and ready to meet her lovely soulmate. sooyoung had stayed the rest of the day to hang out, but she also took it upon herself to help seungwan prepare for her grand affair.

a myriad of voices is currently being emitted from her computer speakers, of course, her online friends have to be here for this monumental occasion.

seungwan currently stands to the side of her monitor, twiddling with her fingers nervously. she isn’t sure how her friends would react, like sure, they’ve seen each others’ real-life pictures and all but they know that azure isn’t one to dress up. heck, she doesn’t even like being in front of the camera much, so this is a big thing in everybody's eyes.

with an unsuspecting hard shove from the side, she pretty much flies into the webcam's view. stumbling to regain her balance, she directs her wrath upon the smug highschooler who seems hell-bent on ruining everything.

"yah park sooyoung!" the nerd exclaims when she steadies herself.

sooyoung merely raises her shoulder, "your friends want to see you, i’m just helping you out."

fixing her clothes and ignoring the insufferable girl, she stands in front of the camera and waves awkwardly. "thoughts?" she asks quietly.

the voices in the call come to a still before erupting in a chorus of cheers and hoots. on her screen, she can see her friends cheering and clapping away.

"woah! let's fucking go, azure!"

"oh my god!"

"girl, give us a spin!"

blushing slightly, she obliges, turning in her spot. it might not feel like much but it’s a step out of her comfort zone, maybe being with joohyun is making her a little braver day by day. she spends a little more time chatting with her friends to ease her nerves — bread assures her that it’ll all be fine while luna goes on about how she should get flowers like roses or some shit so she can really charm joohyun. and then yeri retorts with a snort because her cousin doesn’t care for things like flowers.

and when it finally came time to leave, seulgi and sooyoung looked like a pair of proud parents sending their kid off for prom.

"hold still!" seulgi hisses as she snaps yet another picture of seungwan at the door. the design major has brought out the big guns, cameras ranging from digital to film, everything that can be used to immortalize this moment is being made use of by kang seulgi.

the little nerd exhales sharply when the flash from the polaroid camera blinds her momentarily. the buzz emitted from the camera is followed with a satisfied hum from her best friend. well, they've already taken the phone shots, the DSLR shots, the film shots and finally, the polaroid shot. seungwan is kind of terrified at how many pictures seulgi wants of her, she dreads to imagine how many photos seulgi will end up with if she continues to go on dates.

"wannie's first date!" the design student declares proudly as she bounces over to her desk to scribble something at the bottom of the picture.

"it's the 19th of february, time is a quarter past 6 in the evening." sooyoung adds in an attempt to tease her soulmate but the innocent girl is taking the information down diligently, “seungwan-unnie is about to yell at us because she’s going to be late.”

"can i go now?" seungwan grumbles from the door after listening to sooyoung’s narration. she feels her phone buzzing in her pocket, probably a text from joohyun.

the highschooler waves her off easily, "go on, young grasshopper. don't come back if you didn't get laid!"

"i'm leaving now!" seungwan announces loudly before slamming the door behind her.

it’s a short walk from her dorm to the train station where they'd agreed to meet. seungwan shoots joohyun a couple of texts, one to apologize for being late and the other to let her know that she's on the way. her soulmate reassures her with a smiley emoji and hurries her lightly.

the amber glow of the sunset is slowly making its way for the darkness of the night. the atmosphere of the whole place feels otherworldly, seungwan is usually in lecture halls or her dorm at this time of the day. the campus is still buzzing with life, some students are heading home for the break, some are hanging out with their friends and others are merely wandering about. it’s a strangely comforting feeling border lining on surreal, like she doesn't exactly belong in this space, like going on a date with her soulmate is a dream. she chalks it all up to her excitement looming over her.

with a bounce in her step, seungwan finds herself at the train station. and there her soulmate waits, dressed in a casual shirt and jeans, paired with the jacket she’d stolen from seungwan upon their official meeting. her gaze is drawn downwards and she looks to be deep in thought. even with her hair hanging over her face, joohyun still looks like a goddess. her goddess.

she approaches joohyun with pursed lips, waving slowly to draw the girl out of her thoughts. the senior snaps her head up, the blank look on her face is quickly replaced with a beaming smile.

“hello,” the model greets while straightening her posture, “you look good.”

heat rushes to her cheeks and she stammers, “y-you too.”

shifting her hands from behind her back, joohyun pulls out a small bouquet of flowers. “i got you flowers,” the older girl presents the small bouquet to her soulmate, “a little something to make up for last time.”

luna was right, she should’ve gotten flowers, or chocolates, or something along the lines of a romantic gesture. well, it’s too late for that now, maybe she could conjure up something else on their date.

white roses, seungwan guesses. she isn’t an expert on flowers, nor an enthusiast for the matter but they are beautiful. there aren’t any florists on campus, or within walking distance. this probably means that joohyun specifically went out of her way to get her flowers. 

realising her effort, seungwan looks at her with a softened gaze. while the nerd had been thinking, joohyun has been watching her closely, almost worried that her soulmate wouldn’t like the flowers.

“i love it, they’re gorgeous,” the younger girl accepts the roses and wraps her arms around joohyun for a quick hug, “thank you.”

seungwan feels warm and nice and joohyun lets herself melt into her embrace easily. times like these always make her feel like if they really tried, the rest of the world could just fade away around them. but time continues to tick, separating themselves, joohyun slips her hand into seungwan’s. 

“ready?”

swinging their arms, seungwan bobs her head and lets joohyun tug them into the station for a nice night out.

it’s a monday evening, the weather isn't exactly freezing though it's still cold out, overall a seemingly pleasant night for a date.

wading through the throngs of people at town, they wind up at a western bistro with a live band playing some gentle tunes in the background. a modest little place that's just beginning to pick up buzz amongst the youngsters. monday nights seem quiet enough though there’s still a handful of patrons. the place is littered with flowers of all kinds, probably adhering to some kind of floral theme. seungwan felt slightly awkward holding her roses but the little bouquet doesn't seem so out of place now.

sliding into a booth in the corner, they relax after ordering their food. and of course, like the inseparable couple they are, they sit on the same side with their fingers intertwined.

the band plays a series of mellow pop songs that suits the taste of the couple. they had discovered that they both enjoyed similar genres of music, but that could also be attributed to the fact that joohyun listens to just about anything.

"last night, seulgi was drunk and going off about how i could be a singer named wendy in another reality," seungwan mumbles mindlessly as she watches the band, "makes me wonder where i would be if i didn't make the choices i did."

joohyun hums quietly, "what would you be if you weren't a brilliant little software engineer in the making?"

chuckling, seungwan shrugs and glances at joohyun. "maybe a doctor or a scientist, or some other nerdy thing. i'm not very artistically inclined if you can tell."

"doctor son," the senior teases with a giggle, "or doctor wendy?"

"i think i'm fine with just being seungwan, i think coding is much easier than cutting a body up." seungwan replies and takes a moment to stare at her soulmate adoringly, "what would you be?"

joohyun thinks hard for a moment before her face lights up with glee, "a candle maker." 

the nerd quirks an eyebrow, it's not something that she expected joohyun to say. sensing her confusion, the older girl is quick to clarify.

"i have a thing for scented candles, i think it would be nice if i could make my own."

"oh i've noticed your shrine of candles," seungwan snickers, "an interesting dream job, huh?"

the senior pouts slightly, "yah, are you making fun of me?"

"not at all!" the nerd defends herself swiftly, "i think it's nice to know these little things about you."

"i would say the same, wendy." joohyun rests her head in her hand before grinning.

"unfortunately, i sound like a dying cat. wish i could belt a high note or two."

"karaoke night some time? yongsun's got this karaoke mic lying around."

"sounds like a nightmare to me honestly …"

"it'll be fun, come on!"

"you're not sick anymore, i'm not going to give in so easily."

joohyun whines and pokes the younger girl lightly, "seungwan-ah …"

thankfully, the waiter comes to her rescue with their food. a series of polite thank-yous is heard and then joohyun is speeding off to the other side of the booth.

"what's wrong?" seungwan takes in the peculiar behaviour of her soulmate without knowing how to process it exactly. 

the senior is whipping her phone out across her and raising it to her face. and when seungwan realises what’s going on, she immediately brings up her hands to cover her face.

“are you going to post these anywhere ..?” the introvert mumbles with a tint of fear in her voice. joohyun could have an entire album of her pictures for all she cares, but the thought that they might be shared with the thousands of her followers too — that didn’t kindle any positive feelings at all.

the model tilts her head to peek past her phone and she blinks at seungwan with a puzzled expression. “is that something that might bother you?” she tries softly.

the introvert runs her hand through her hair before they come to rest at the nape of her neck, she doesn’t have the right words to explain how this makes her feel so she merely bobs her head in agreement.

joohyun nods slowly. she doesn’t quite understand the apprehension her soulmate is facing but doesn’t want to pressure her into anything she might be uncomfortable with either. “okay. all these will remain a personal collection until you say it’s okay, is that alright?” she offers with a small smile.

“it’s not that serious,” seungwan plays it down quickly, not wanting their long-awaited date night to turn sour so quickly, “come on, i’ll take a few shots of you, seulgi has taught me some nifty tricks.”

the model hands her phone over with a wide smile and strikes her signature pose — cheek in hand accompanied with a lustrous wink. a blush creeps up on seungwan’s face and the feeling she felt when she first laid eyes on joohyun is back, her soulmate is genuinely the epitome of ethereal. thank god, the lights in here are dim so joohyun wouldn’t see her flushed cheeks.