Archive of Our Own

Eighteen

“You’re my person.” 

Tine heard this saying once in a movie and for some reason it had always stuck with him. Back then, he didn’t really understand what that truly meant. He had dated around quite a bit, and most of them had been nice girls, but he never thought any of them were “his person” or the one he could see himself with forever. Tine wasn’t necessarily in a rush to find the one, he was still young and he enjoyed getting to know new people and dating around, but he always kept that saying in the back of his mind. 

Sarawat came into his life during his freshman year of university and Tine fell madly in love for the first time ever. It had been unexpected; they went from strangers to friends and now lovers. Their love was the type of love that seemed to come straight out of a romance novel. It was the type of love that could make anybody envious and yet hopeful that soulmates do exist. It was the type of love that made Tine realize why it had never worked with anybody else and it’s simply because they weren’t Sarawat. 

He was only eighteen when he finally knew what those words truly meant. Some may say he was way too young to be thinking about spending forever with someone, but Tine already knew that Sarawat was it for him. He was sure there was no one out there better for him.

“The stars look pretty tonight.” Tine spoke softly as he stared up at the night sky. Just moments ago, he had been running around the empty soccer field and trying his best to help his boyfriend squeeze in a few extra hours of practice before his big game tomorrow. Tine was no expert when it came to the sport, but he was willing to try for Sarawat’s sake. Now they were both lying back on the freshly cut grass and catching their breaths while admiring the beautiful night and enjoying each other’s company. 

“Yes, pretty,” Sarawat replied in agreement, “but you’re better.” He had also been staring up at the sky a while ago but his eyes were now fixated on Tine. The stars were bright and the night was lovely but in Sarawat’s opinion, nowhere near as breathtaking as the person next to him. “You’re the prettiest.”

Tine felt himself start to blush as a smile spread across his face. He turned his head to look at Sarawat, only to find that the boy was already staring back at him. It shouldn’t be surprising anymore, wherever they were, no matter the circumstances, Sarawat’s eyes seem to always be on him. Tine should be used to it by now, but it still gave him butterflies, because it was Sarawat.

“My person.” Tine whispered to himself as he took in the sight of the boy next to him. In the moment, he was feeling grateful that for some reason the universe had picked him to be the person that Sarawat loved. He didn’t know what he did to deserve a love so perfect, but he was happier than he’d ever been before.

Sarawat furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “Your what?” 

Tine let out a small laugh at his boyfriend’s adorably confused face. “I heard this saying once in a movie,” he stated as he searched for Sarawat’s hand in the grass. As usual, his boyfriend seemed to know exactly what he wanted because it’s Sarawat who finds his hand first and intertwines their fingers. “I never understood it before but now I do.”

Sarawat gave Tine’s hand a single squeeze, “What was the saying?” 

“You’re my person, Wat.” Tine repeated for the second time that night, this time loud enough so that Sarawat could hear his words clearly. “The person I’m going to be with for the rest of my life.”

Sarawat couldn’t stop the huge smile that spread across his handsome face. He suddenly let go of Tine’s hand only to hover over his boyfriend and plant sweet kisses all over his face, “You’ve been mine since the first day I saw you.”  

Tine reached up and ran his fingers through Sarawat’s messy hair with the same loving smile still adorning his face. “Thanks for searching for me Wat… and thanks for helping me with my crazy plan and being my fake boyfriend for a while.” He raised his head up slightly and gave Sarawat a quick kiss, “Thanks for being my real boyfriend now and for loving me too.”

“Don’t thank me,” Sarawat mumbled against Tine’s lips. He gave him another kiss, a slightly longer one that his boyfriend happily returned. When they pulled away, Sarawat couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of him, “Marry me?”

“Someday,” Tine replied without even a second thought, “but for now just stay my boyfriend, okay?”

“Deal.” Sarawat beamed before leaning down to kiss Tine once more.

Nineteen

“So you’re the boy that has this son of mine so happy lately.”

Tine could only smile shyly and blush at the statement made by Sarawat’s father. When his boyfriend had asked him to join his parents and brother for a family dinner, Tine had been very hesitant to do so. He had never gotten this serious with anybody before and he had never met any past girlfriend’s parents so this was new to him. He also didn’t know how Sarawat’s parents would take it when they found out that their son was dating a man. He remembered briefly meeting Sarawat’s mom once, when they were still only fake boyfriends, and she had mentioned wanting a daughter-in-law. So, naturally, Tine had been a nervous wreck the week leading up to dinner with his boyfriend’s family. Fortunately, those nerves disappeared rather quickly. He and Sarawat had met the latter’s family at a nice restaurant and Tine had felt very welcomed by them right away. 

“I knew that first day I met you that my son was in love,” Sarawat’s mother had said over dinner. Tine didn’t doubt it, because apparently everyone else in the world had figured it out before he had. Looking back now, Tine did realize that Sarawat had always made his feelings for him abundantly clear. It was him who ignored all the signs and disregarded his own feelings for the boy. 

“Really mom?” Sarawat asked as he turned his attention to the woman. “You knew?” 

“We found you hovering over P'Tine on the mattress,” Phukong stated with a teasing smile on his face, “What were we supposed to think?”

Tine laughed a little at Phukong’s words as Sarawat glared at his brother. It was true, they had been a very compromising position. He wondered if no one had walked in on them that day, what would have happened? Well, in the end things worked out that way they were supposed to, he and Sarawat were together now and that’s all that mattered.

“That did help me piece it all together,” Sarawat’s mother nodded in agreement, “but it was also the way you looked at Tine sweetie, mothers know these things.”

“Your mother was so sure of it.” Sarawat’s father added with a chuckle, “She came home and said we didn’t have to worry about you anymore. We thought you would never love anyone more than you love those guitars of yours.”

“I think I’m only a close second to the guitars,” Tine said with a smile on his face, he turned to look at his boyfriend next to him, “Maybe I’ll move up to number one soon. I’m working on it.”

Sarawat’s family laughed along with Tine and he felt happy. He had hoped things would go smoothly and that they could all at least be cordial with each other but this was going way better than he could have ever imagined. It made him glad to know that he got along so well with his boyfriend’s family, that he was comfortable around them and that they were so welcoming of him. 

Sarawat was happy too. There was nothing in this world that could ever make him break up with Tine, not even if his own family had disapproved of the relationship, but having their support definitely made it easier. Of course, he had never really worried that they wouldn’t adore Tine, his boyfriend was just too lovable not to like… but seeing all of them talking and laughing together. Seeing Tine let go of any nerves he had and relax around his parents and seeing his family conversing with his boyfriend so naturally, it made him beyond happy.

The rest of dinner went great and Sarawat’s mother made Tine promise that he would join them for her birthday celebration in two weeks. Tine had quickly agreed, he was actually quite looking forward to seeing Sarawat’s family again, he liked them so much already. 

When they were back home later that night, Sarawat had his head resting on Tine’s shoulder as they watched a random movie that was playing. “My parents really like you.”

Tine looked away from the television screen and kissed the top of his boyfriend’s head, “I like them too.” He smiled as Sarawat took his hand and intertwined their fingers. 

“Since my parents like you so much,” Sarawat lifted his head up from where it previously rested on Tine’s shoulder and looked his boyfriend directly in the eyes, “Will you marry me now?”

Tine laughed a little as he playfully shoved his boyfriend and shook his head. “Shouldn’t you meet my parents before we take that step?” He brought his face close to Sarawat’s, “After you get their permission, then I’ll marry you.”

Sarawat pressed his forehead against Tine’s and smiled back, “Okay, I’ll convince them no matter what.”

Tine moved onto Sarawat’s lap and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, “I don’t doubt it.” He whispered before leaning forward and giving his boyfriend a kiss. Sarawat smiled before eagerly returning the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Tine’s waist. If this was what a future with Tine was like, Sarawat would definitely do his best to make the man his husband someday. But for now, being his boyfriend would have to do.

Twenty One

Tine had always thought that pictures were great reminders of the most special moments in a person’s life. His mom had always kept their home filled with pictures of the entire family and Tine loved looking at them and reminiscing about all those significant moments in their lives. He was home today, visiting his parents, and he noticed that his mother had added a new photo to her impressive array of pictures. Tine reached out for it and smiled.

It was a picture they had taken last time he’d come home for a cousin’s wedding. He had brought Sarawat as his date, obviously. At this point there wasn’t a single soul out there who didn’t know that the two were together. Their families all knew and they all took it rather well, of course some were a bit more shocked than others, but fortunately they hadn’t dealt with any opposition from anyone. 

Tine knew that his family supported their relationship, knew that they adored his boyfriend very much, and lately he’s been feeling like Sarawat is even like a part of his family. Just like Sarawat’s family made Tine feel like he was a part of theirs. 

That’s why Tine loved this picture so much. In the photo, Sarawat and him were standing next to his mom and dad, they were all smiling brightly and looking at the camera in front of them, they looked like a very happy family. 

Tine felt lucky. He knew not all couples had the support of their families and knowing that he and Sarawat had everyone on their side, it made him feel fortunate. Moments like these also made Tine realize that there was truly no one better for him out there than Sarawat. His boyfriend and him, they still loved each other as much as they did when they were eighteen. Sarawat still made him feel special, even after a couple of years of being together. People often said that all couples eventually come out of the honeymoon phase, and Tine would admit that their relationship wasn’t always perfect. They had their disagreements and small arguments but at the end of the day their love for each other was stronger than any of that. Maybe it wasn’t the “honeymoon phase” but Sarawat could still give him butterflies, could still make him blush like crazy, he still made the effort to flirt with him and sing him Scrubb songs late at night when he couldn't sleep. That’s what love was to him.

He felt a pair of familiar arms wrap around his waist and then his boyfriend’s chin resting on his shoulder. “What are you doing?” Sarawat’s voice sounded whiny, “I couldn’t feel you next to me so I woke up.”

Tine smiled and leaned back into Sarawat’s hold, “I came to get a glass of water and got a little distracted.” He turned his head slightly to his right and gave the sleepy boy a kiss on his temple, “Sorry about that.”

Sarawat smiled when he felt Tine’s soft lips against his skin. “I love you,” he mumbled. He opened his eyes, that had felt too heavy just moments ago, but were now ready to take in the sight of the man in his arms. He saw Tine smiling back at him and he sighed happily, there was truly never a time when his lover didn’t look absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. “What distracted you anyways?”

“This photo.” Tine looked back at the picture in his hands.

Sarawat also turned his attention to the photo in Tine’s hands and he was stunned by what he saw. “Your mom added this to her collection?” He unwrapped his arms from around Tine’s waist and took the picture frame from his hands, staring at it in awe. Sarawat knew that Tine’s parents liked him, they had been so kind to him since their first meeting, but now he was sure that they could see him being in Tine’s life forever and they approved. Nothing could make Sarawat happier in that moment.

“She likes you more than her own sons,” Tine replied and pretended to act hurt, “Of course she would display this picture. So she can tell everyone how handsome her son-in-law is-“

“Son-in-law?” Sarawat beamed upon hearing that term, “Has she actually said that?”

“Well it’s kind of true,” Tine took the picture from his boyfriend and put it back in its rightful place. He then turned back to Sarawat and brought his arms around the other’s neck, “Future son-in-law, right?” The way Sarawat was smiling at him right now, Tine knew these words made him beyond happy. It shouldn’t be surprising, Sarawat had been asking Tine to marry him since they were eighteen. 

“Does this mean I have your parent’s approval?” Sarawat asked as he brought a hand up to Tine’s cheek and caressed it while looking at him with all the love in the world. “Will you say yes if I ask you to marry me now?” 

“You joke around too much Wat,” Tine said with a chuckle. He ran his fingers through his lover’s soft locks and shook his head, “How am I supposed to know when you ask me for real when you’re always kidding around like this, huh?”

“Who said I was kidding?” Sarawat brought his face closer to Tine’s, his lips ghosting over the other’s. “I’m always serious when I ask you this.” 

Tine glanced down at Sarawat’s plump lips and then looked back up into his eyes. “Seriously Wat,” he whispered as he felt his boyfriend starting to back him up into the wall, “Stop joking about marrying me and stop teasing me, we can’t do anything with my parents here.”

Sarawat had Tine pinned against the corner of the room now, he smirked closing the small gap between them and pressing his lips against the other’s. For someone who was worried about being caught by his parents, Sarawat thought that Tine sure was eager to kiss him back. 

Tine knew he was powerless against Sarawat whenever their lips met. It didn’t matter how terrified he was at the idea of getting caught by his mom or dad, because anytime their lips met, they were in their own world. Tine felt his heart begin to beat faster and his knees grow weaker as their kiss intensified; he gripped at Sarawat’s shirt as the said boy slipped his tongue inside Tine’s mouth. His boyfriend was always gentle yet demanding at moments like these, he knew what Tine wanted and always delivered exactly that. Add that to the reasons as to why Sarawat was the perfect person for him. 

Sarawat pulled away after a while, both to catch his breath and because he knew they couldn’t do more than this in Tine’s parent’s home. He gave his boyfriend one last short kiss on the lips before completely pulling away. Tine looked pretty like this, lips swollen and cheeks pink. “Just so you know,” Sarawat said as he took Tine’s hand in his, “I wasn’t joking about wanting to marry you.”

“Just wait a little longer Wat,” Tine replied with a shy smile on his face. He pulled his boyfriend out of the living room and back towards the guest bedroom they were sharing in his parent’s home, “We have a lot more to figure out before we can take that step, you know?”

“I’m going to wait as long as it takes.”

And Tine knew that Sarawat would wait for him, no matter what. 

Twenty Four

When Tine was twenty four years old, he got the worst phone call of his life. 

“P’Tine…”

It was Phukong who had called him to deliver the bad news and he knew immediately from the tone of the younger male’s voice that something was wrong. Something was wrong with Sarawat, Tine just knew it right away. He felt his heart drop and his body give up on him. His eyes grew watery and his voice was shaky as he spoke into the phone, “J-Just tell me that he’s okay.”

Phukong’s own voice sounded broken, “I’m sorry, P’Tine… but we don’t know that for sure right now.” 

Tine’s heart sunk with those words.

“W-What happened?” He was actually terrified to find out but he also knew he needed to hear this. His eyes were now filled to the brim with tears and all he could do was try to blink them away. As he did, he noticed a picture that was sitting on the desk in front of him. Sarawat was smiling happily as he held him in his arms in the photo, and Tine couldn’t picture the love of his life in any other way. He couldn’t picture Sarawat not being okay, he was the strong one, the one who always reassured Tine that everything would be okay, he was one who comforted him and always made him feel safe. Sarawat had to be okay.

“I don’t know all the details yet just that... i-it was a car accident,” Phukong replied, his voice sounded shaky, “He’s in the emergency room right now and-“

Tine shut his eyes tightly and finally let a few tears escape them. “Text me the address, okay? I’m coming right away.” 

He ended the call with Phukong and quickly started looking for his car keys amongst the mess of paperwork on his desk. Tine grew more frustrated as the seconds went by and his keys were nowhere in sight. He heard a ‘ding’ from his phone and saw that Phukong had sent him the address of the hospital that Sarawat was at. 

“Tine,” his supervisor walked up to his desk and dropped some more papers on his desk, “I need these finished by tonight.”

The boy continued to search for his keys as he responded, “I can’t tonight. My boyfriend-“

“I don’t care what your boyfriend has planned,” the older man cut him off before he could explain, “I said I need these done by tonight or else we’ll find someone who can handle it.”

Tine didn’t know if it was the fact that he was stressed out because his boyfriend was in the hospital or if it was because he had always hated this job and the judgmental people that worked here, probably a combination of both, but he snapped.  “Then fire me!” He finally found his keys on the floor next to his desk, they had probably fallen while he had been busy trying to get everything done for everyone while his co-workers all took it easy, as usual. “I dont fucking care, my boyfriend’s in the hospital!” 

Tine walked past the man and made his way out of the building. Once outside, Tine immediately rushed to his car, unlocked it and got in. With shaky hands, he started the engine and wiped away some more tears that had fallen down his face while thinking of Sarawat. If Sarawat were here right now, he would definitely tell Tine that driving in his current state wasn’t the safest thing so he took a moment to try to calm himself down. 

The drive to the hospital was long and Tine probably shouldn’t have been speeding but he was, because at that moment all that mattered to him was getting to Sarawat. He was trying to focus on nothing but the road, but he couldn’t help but to think about his boyfriend and how he wasn’t ready to lose him yet. Their relationship had been going through a rough patch lately, not because they fell out of love or because the care they had for each other was gone, but because they underestimated just how hard it was to keep a relationship strong when they both became busy with work. Tine had to admit that between the two of them, it would seem that Sarawat was putting in more effort and more time into trying to fix things because Tine had let work consume him. And now that he was racing to get to Sarawat’s side, he regretted more than ever the fact that he had put work before his relationship. 

The truth was, Tine hated the law firm he worked for, it was filled with awful people, who had disliked him from the moment they found out he had a boyfriend. It shouldn’t have been surprising, the world was still filled with close minded people, but Tine had never experienced it before. Everyone that he and Sarawat had chosen to tell about them dating had been nothing but supportive. He should’ve quit right then and there, Sarawat had practically begged him to. He told Tine to find somewhere else to work, told him not to worry about finances because he could take care of them for the time being, and Tine knew that Sarawat could and that he would do it without giving it a second thought. But Tine had been stubborn, he didn’t want Sarawat to have to carry that burden on his own so he decided to stick it out at that company, at least until something better came along. He regretted that decision so much right now, because they took so much of his time, time that he could have spent with Sarawat and Tine didn’t think he could ever forgive himself if this is how it all ended.

Despite the many thoughts swirling around his head and distracting him, Tine made it to hospital safely. Knowing that he was here to see Sarawat, it became too painful and overwhelming. He didn’t know when he started crying, but tears were running down his face as he ran through the hospital.

“Tine.”

Sarawat’s mother called out to him and she looked as distressed as Tine felt at that moment. He walked up to the woman and was immediately embraced by her, this only made him cry harder. From the moment Phukong had called him, he had been dealing with this on his own. He hadn’t had anyone next to him to reassure him that it was going to be okay and now that Sarawat’s mom was doing it, he realized how much he needed to hear those words. Tine’s thoughts had driven him to insanity; all he had thought about this whole time was that there was a possibility that he could lose him, lose Sarawat forever and it scared him.

“I-I can’t lose him-“ he said and everyone’s hearts were breaking for Tine. He sounded broken and scared. His eyes were red, and he was far from the bright and energetic Tine that they were all so used to. “Can I see him now? Is he still in the ER?”

At that moment, Sarawat’s father had stepped out of a nearby room. It was obvious that the man was doing his best to keep it together, for everyone else’s sake, he had to be the strong one. He walked up to Tine, who was still in Sarawat’s mother’s arms. “He’s still unconscious but you can go see him.” The older man gave Tine a comforting pat on the back, “Only one visitor at a time, so you’ll have to go in alone.”

Tine nodded and wiped away his tears before walking towards the room. He needed to pull himself together because Sarawat would never want to see him crying like this. He reached out to open the door but froze after twisting the knob. The whole car ride here, all he wanted was to be by Sarawat’s side, but now he was scared to see his boyfriend in this critical condition. Tine didn’t feel like he was strong enough to handle seeing his lover like this. 

“He would want you next to him, P’Tine.” Phukong said from behind him.

Tine knew he was right. Sarawat would want him there, so he had to be the strong one this time. If it were the other way around, Sarawat would undoubtedly be by his side. So Tine took a deep breath before gathering up the courage to push the door open and stepping into the room. The first thing he saw was a lifeless Sarawat lying on the bed with an oxygen mask over his face and IVs in his arms. The first thing he heard was the monitor next to the bed, and it brought him some sort of relief to actually see proof that Sarawat’s heart was still beating. 

Tine closed the door behind him and took hesitant steps towards the bed. He sat on the chair next to Sarawat and immediately took the other man’s hand in his, “You’re going to be okay, right Wat?” he asked softly as he stared down at their hands. There was no response, but he continued to talk anyways because he didn’t know what else to do to keep himself from breaking down again. “Would things have been different if I had been with you?” 

He thought back to that morning. How Sarawat had seen him stressing out about work yet again and how he had given him a tight hug and told him that he could do it. He thought of Sarawat forcing him to have breakfast before letting him leave their apartment, because his boyfriend had never let it go that Tine had once passed out because he skipped his meals. He thought of Sarawat walking him to the door and kissing him goodbye, he had wished Tine good luck with work. Tine thought of Sarawat flashing him a beautiful smile and telling him he would see him after work. And now they were here instead of at home.

“You said you hate to see me cry,” Tine whispered as he looked up, and for this first time, took in the sight of his boyfriend’s bruised face up close. He sniffled quietly and tears were once again threatening to spill from his eyes, “So I’m trying really hard not to cry.” He got up from the chair and leaned over the unconscious man. Tine closed his eyes as he pressed a soft kiss onto Sarawat’s forehead, “It’s really hard for me, Wat. Please wake up,” he begged, his voice sounded fragile, like he could lose it at any moment. 

Tine spent hours like this, by Sarawat’s side. He refused to leave him for even a second, no matter what anyone told him. When exhaustion finally caught up to him, he slept on the chair next to his boyfriend’s bed. His family and Sarawat’s family would bring him water to at least keep him hydrated, because he even refused to eat. It’s not like Tine was trying to be difficult on purpose, but at that moment he could manage no more than sleeping and talking to an unconscious Sarawat. 

—--

“It’s been two days Wat.”

It was late at night and visiting hours were long over, everyone else had gone home and Tine, like the past couple of nights, had been the one to stay with Sarawat. He couldn’t sleep so he talked instead, those seemed to be the only two things that could keep him from completely losing his mind. 

“You have to wake up tomorrow, okay?”

Again, no response and deep down inside, Tine was starting to get worried. Tomorrow would be Sarawat’s third day without waking up or showing any signs of regaining consciousness and Tine wondered just how long the doctors would keep him hooked up to all these machines before saying that they couldn’t do it anymore. The thought of it had been weighing heavy in Tine’s heart. He was trying to remain calm and tell himself that they wouldn’t do that, they wouldn’t give up on Sarawat.

“You always said you wanted to marry me, didn’t you Wat?” Tine asked with a sad smile on his face and what felt like a stab to the heart, “You said we’d have a big house and that we would grow old together in it. And you said I could get a puppy and you would help me raise it. You promised to sing me Scrubb songs when I’m sad or happy, and I really want to hear one right now. So you have to wake up and keep your promises to me, okay?”

Tine wiped away more tears, he had been doing that a lot these days, and then rested his head on the edge of Sarawat’s bed and closed his eyes. He silently prayed that tomorrow would be the day he’d finally see his boyfriend wake up. Tine reached out and took hold of Sarawat’s hand, “Goodnight Wat,” he said as he finally began to doze off, “I love you.”

—-

It felt like Tine had only just closed his eyes a few minutes ago and someone was already trying to wake him up. He ignored the fingers running through his hair and the voice of someone calling out his name over and over again. He kept his eyes firmly shut, believing that it was probably just his mom again, telling him to go rest at home. “I’m not leaving Sarawat.” he mumbled sleepily. “Don’t try to convince me.”

“And why would I ask you to leave, little buffalo? I’ve been waiting all day to talk to you.”

There was only one person who referred to him as “little buffalo” and his heartbeat quickened at the sound of the familiar nickname. His eyes shot open and he immediately sat up on the chair, he was suddenly feeling wide awake. 

Sarawat was propped up on the bed, still bruised and pretty badly injured but he was awake. Tine reached out slowly and brought his hand up to his lover’s face, he placed it on Sarawat’s cheek and then immediately started weeping when the man smiled at him. “It’s real,” he whispered in between choked sobs, “I’m not dreaming or imagining it again, right?”

With the little energy he had in him, Sarawat placed his own hand over Tine’s, “I said I would spend my life with you little buffalo. It’s real.” He looked at Tine, they had been together for over five years, and he had never seen his boyfriend this hurt before in all that time, “Sorry for worrying you Tine, but I’m okay now. Everyone wanted to wake you as soon as I woke up, but you looked exhausted so I told them to let you sleep.” 

For the first time in days, Tine felt a sense of relief. He wanted to hug his boyfriend and just hold him but Sarawat still looked like he was in so much pain and without much strength in him, so he just held his hand and smiled as more tears escaped his eyes. Although, this time they were happy tears, because he finally had his Sarawat back. “I was so scared Wat,” Tine admitted as he looked at the injured man in front of him, “I don’t know what I would have done with myself if I had lost you.” 

“But you didn’t, I’m right here and I’m never going to leave you, okay?” Sarawat asked as he tried to raise a hand to wipe away Tine’s tears. He had never felt so weak before, he couldn’t even gather up the energy to lift his arm up for the second time, “Please don’t cry Tine, I hate seeing you cry because of me.”

Tine wiped away his own tears with his free hand and managed to flash his boyfriend a smile to reassure him that he was okay, “It’s because I’m happy that you’re okay.” He stood up from the chair he was sitting on and gave Sarawat a soft kiss on the cheek, “I missed you a lot, Wat.”

Sarawat let out a happy sigh, he was just glad that Tine was alright now because even in moments like these, the man was still his main priority. “Tine, after I’m fully healed, will you marry me?”

Tine laughed for the first time in a while, “Yes, Sarawat.” He gave the said boy another kiss, this time on the corner of his lips, “Get better and I’ll marry you, I promise.” Tine thought that only his boyfriend would think to ask that question at a time like this but he wasn’t surprised. That’s just who Sarawat was, he said what he felt and Tine never had to second guess anything with him. It’s one of the many reasons he loved him.

“Then I’m going to get better really quick and make you my husband,” Sarawat promised with a huge smile on his face. 

“I can’t wait,” Tine replied with a smile that was even more beautiful now than it had been just seconds ago and it was because of Sarawat. Because he never failed to make Tine the happiest person ever. 

Twenty Eight

By the time he was twenty eight, Tine had everything he had ever wanted in life. He had let go of that awful job and was much happier at the place he was at now. He had just purchased his dream home, the one that he and Sarawat had always imagined they would spend the rest of their lives in. And of course, he still had the most perfect partner he could have ever asked for. Tine knew he loved Sarawat when he was only eighteen and as the years had passed, he only grew more sure of that love. Sarawat had been his person then and he was still his person now. 

“I told you to be careful with that box,” Tine nagged as he bent down to help his boyfriend pick up the pictures that had fallen to the ground. They were currently in the process of moving their things from their old apartment into their new house. It had been an exhausting experience, to say the least, but Tine couldn’t imagine sharing the experience with anyone but Sarawat.

“Sorry, little buffalo.” Sarawat apologized and smiled sheepishly while quickly collecting the pictures scattered all over the floor. 

And Tine didn’t have it in him to actually be upset, not when his boyfriend was this damn precious. The truth was they had been moving things from one place to another for hours now, they were both tired and in need of a small break. He laid back on the hardwood floor, definitely not the most comfortable, but their furniture wasn’t there yet so this would have to do for now. He smiled up at Sarawat, who was looking down at him with a confused look on his handsome face. 

“We need a break,” Tine reached out for Sarawat’s hand, which his boyfriend immediately gave to him. “Join me?” 

Sarawat returned the sweet smile before joining Tine and laying down on the uncomfortable floor. He brought one arm behind his head and used the other to pull Tine closer to him. His boyfriend immediately inched closer, resting his head on Sarawat’s chest and sighing happily. This is what pure bliss felt like.

Tine took one of the pictures nearest to him from the floor and held it up for them both to see. “I forgot about some of these.” 

Sarawat looked at the picture Tine was holding up and smiled even bigger. “I’ll never forget this one,” he remarked. The picture he was staring at was honestly one of his favorites. It was a picture of a very happy Tine in his arms with his legs wrapped around his waist and his arms around his neck as he pressed their foreheads together. Sarawat was mid-laugh in the photo because he had been taken by surprise when his boyfriend had suddenly jumped into his arms to congratulate him for winning a big championship game. “I think you were even more excited than me back then.”

Tine let out a small chuckle as he also recalled the memory. “Of course I was excited,” he reminisced, “I had helped you practice for hours the night before this game and you had been so nervous about it. So when you guys won, I was happy for you.”

Sarawat kissed the top of Tine’s head and gave him a squeeze. “I was really happy that day,” he mumbled against the top of his boyfriend’s head, “You were never the type who showed affection in public but this day, you were so excited that you couldn’t help yourself.”

Tine put the photo down and picked up another random one. In this picture, they were laying down on a blanket on the grass. They were in pretty much the same position that they were in now, with Sarawat’s arms wrapped securely around Tine, both of them sound asleep. This picture had been taken by Tine’s mom, it was when both their families decided to take a vacation together. Tine thought that this picture was special because it reminded him of the great time they all had during the trip. Merging families could be awkward sometimes, but he was glad that hadn’t been the case with their parents and siblings. 

“I’m glad our families get along so well,” Tine stated happily.

Sarawat let out a small laugh and nodded in agreement, “I think our moms would be more heartbroken than anyone if we ever decide to end things between us.”

Tine looked up at him with a slight pout on his lips, he hated even the thought of a break up. “Don’t even say that Wat,” he huffed and put the picture down, “Why would you even bring that up?”

“Don’t worry little buffalo,” Sarawat reassured him as he ran his hand up and down Tine’s back, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You better not.” 

Tine knew they should probably get back to work on getting their new home ready but lying in Sarawat’s arms and looking through their memories sounded a lot more fun. He grabbed the picture above his boyfriend’s head and stared at it for a few seconds before showing it to Sarawat.

“Do you remember this?” He asked.

Sarawat looked at the picture and thought for a moment. It was a picture of him singing on stage, his favorite guitar in hands. Tine was standing right in front of the stage and it was obvious that, even though the room was filled with people, everyone else was invisible to the two of them. 

“I’ve sang to you so many times babe, I don’t even remember exactly what song I was singing here,” Sarawat finally said after over a minute of trying to remember, “but we look happy.”

“We do,” Tine agreed as he lifted his head to give Sarawat a soft kiss on the cheek, “and you were singing Click by Scrubb.”

“Of course, you remember everything when it comes to Scrubb.”

Tine just giggled, not bothering to deny what they both knew was fact. “Should we get up now?” 

Sarawat shook his head, he wasn’t quite ready to get back to work yet, “I think we’ve earned a little bit of a longer break.”

Tine was glad Sarawat was thinking the same thing because he wanted to stay like this for longer too. He grabbed another picture from the floor, this one was more recent, it was from his own birthday celebration last year. His cheeks began turning a bright shade of pink as he thought of that day. 

Tine remembered it like it was yesterday. Sarawat had pampered him all day long, and he had mentioned that he had a huge surprise for him later that night. If he was being honest, Tine thought that by the end of that night, he would no longer be calling Sarawat his boyfriend but instead he would finally get to call him his fiancé. He thought that the “big surprise” Sarawat had been talking about was an engagement, and he had only grown more sure of that as the day had gone on. Sarawat had invited their families and friends to celebrate with them. His boyfriend had looked like a nervous wreck all night and he kept disappearing throughout the night to make sure everything was set up for the surprise. Tine thought those were all signs that he would be engaged by the end of the night, and he was more than ready for that step in their relationship. 

“Why are you blushing, little buffalo?” Sarawat asked as he tried to peek at the new picture in the other’s hand. 

Tine quickly sat up and brought his hands up to his cheeks to hide how red they had become. What Sarawat thought was blushing, was actually Tine mentally reliving that day and becoming slightly embarrassed that he had been so sure he was getting engaged. “I-I’m not!”

Sarawat sat up as well, he moved to be right in front of Tine and smiled as he moved his boyfriend’s hands away from his rosy cheeks. “Let me see the picture.”

Tine wordlessly passed the photo over to Sarawat. They looked really happy in that picture, because they were. As it turns out, Sarawat’s big surprise had been a song. The sweetest and most romantic of songs that Tine had ever heard, it was still the best gift anyone had ever given him. The picture was taken right after Sarawat had sung it to him in front of all their friends and family members. Tine had practically thrown himself into his boyfriend’s arms and whispered a soft thank you to him as happy tears ran down his face. Tine remembered crying because he really thought that this was finally the moment and he was more than ready to say yes to Sarawat’s proposal. Unfortunately for Tine, that moment never came. After Sarawat’s performance, the party continued on as normal and the topic of engagement was never brought up that night. 

“Can I tell you something?” 

Tine looked away from the picture he had been staring as he thought back to that day. He gave his full attention to the man in front of him and nodded quickly. It’s not like he wanted to explain to his boyfriend why his cheeks were as red as they were, if they changed the topic, he could avoid having to awkwardly explain what his expectations for that night had been. 

“Of course, Wat. You can tell me anything.”

“That night,” Sarawat said as he motioned his head to the picture that was now back on the floor, “I had a ring for you. I was going to propose after my song.”

Tine let out a small gasp as he felt the beating of his heart start to pick up. So he hadn’t been imagining it. It wasn’t all in his head. He wasn’t crazy for thinking he was going to get engaged! Now there was only one last question on his mind.

“Why didn’t you?” 

“Hmmm…” Sarawat let out a deep breath before leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Tine’s, “It wasn’t the right time yet. So I didn’t go through with it.”

Tine stayed quiet for a few minutes as he tried to process what Sarawat had just told him. If that wasn’t the perfect moment, then what in the world would be considered the right moment? Honestly, it didn’t matter to him how or when it happened. He would say yes regardless because it was Sarawat and he loved him more than anything in this world.

“I would have said yes,” Tine whispered. That’s all he could think to say at that moment. 

“I know you would have,” Sarawat replied quickly because he didn’t doubt that Tine was ready for it, for them to take that next step in their lives. “But I wouldn’t have wanted you to settle for anything less than what you’ve always wanted.”

“Settle?” Tine tilted his head in confusion as he furrowed his eyebrow. “I wouldn’t be settling, you’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

Sarawat let out a small chuckle at his boyfriend’s adorably baffled expression. He shook his head as he pulled Tine to sit on his lap, just like when they were eighteen, “I didn’t mean to settle for me.”

“Then what did you mean?” Tine questioned as he slid his hands up Sarawat’s chest and encircled his neck.

Sarawat wrapped his own arms around Tine’s waist and smiled, “I mean that you had things you wanted to accomplish before settling down and we didn’t have all those things yet. Yes, we had both our families fully supporting us. Our friends support us. We’re finally old enough to actually know that this is the right choice for us and not just a dumb decision we made as kids. And we’re both happy and healthy and have stable careers.”

Tine wondered what else was missing. Besides the puppy he always begged Sarawat for but that they both knew they were too busy to take care of right now, everything was perfect. “That sounds like pretty much everything I ever wanted for us.”

“I didn’t forget about the puppy,” Sarawat replied and Tine’s face instantly lit up at the mention of it. “And I didn’t forget about the big house we alway talked about getting, so we can start our own family someday. Now that we have it, everything is perfect. This is what you’ve always said you’ve wanted Tine, and I wanted you to have it all before asking you this.”

Tine held his breath as he watched Sarawat reach into his pocket and pull out a small velvet box. “It’s happening right now?” he asked in genuine disbelief. Since they were 18, this wonderfully amazing person had been asking Tine to marry him and now it was finally about to become reality. This wasn’t just Sarawat being spontaneous and asking him out of nowhere like he usually did, he had made sure the moment was right, that they were ready for this step and Tine couldn’t be happier.

“I know it’s not the most romantic or most perfect way to ask but I love you Tine. I’ve known for the longest time that you’re the one I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with.” Sarawat’s hands were shaking just slightly as he opened the small velvet box containing a simple but elegant ring, “Marry me?”

Tine didn’t know it was possible to feel so many emotions at once. He was crying yet smiling from ear to ear, nodding his head repeatedly as he choked out a quick “yes” and stretched out his hand for Sarawat to put on his ring. And once it was on, he cupped the other man’s face and gave him probably the most loving of kisses he had ever given him. Sarawat might have thought his proposal was nothing special but to Tine, it was everything and it was perfect.

“You really are my person, Wat. I love you.” 

Sarawat smiled at his fiancé. There was truly nothing in the world that made him happier than seeing Tine so happy and now, he would get to spend the rest of his life getting to see that beautiful smile. He wanted to marry Tine since he was eighteen and now, Sarawat made that dream into a reality. 

Imagining that life could get better than this seemed impossible at that moment and yet, they both knew that it could and it would, because as the days, weeks, months and years passed them by, they fell deeper in love.