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James knew he wouldn’t have been able to bring a book, but he wished he did anyway. Books always made things better. Their weight was comforting in his hand, familiar, like it was meant to be there. The red solo cup of beer he was holding did not feel the same.
Still, Lucie had begged him to go, saying it was their first proper performance and he was her older brother so he had to go. And if that wasn’t enough for him, she convinced Matthew to go, and he didn’t have anyone to go with, so he kind of had to after that.
He was glad he went and he wasn’t at the same time. He didn’t like this place very much, the vibe was nice but there were too many people packed together. It smelled like sweat and perfume and beer, like university parties if they had a little more class. He had to admit, the lighting was nice, and the band playing right now wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t as bad as some of the other places Matthew dragged him too.
“Ugh, I think Alastair Carstairs is here,” Matthew complained, almost elbowing someone on his quest to get back to James. His green eyes sparkled with excitement.
“Did you think he wouldn’t?” he asked. “His sister is in the band.”
“Still, it doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”
His best friend took a sip out of his cup, and James eyed it warily. “That better be water.”
“Of course it is, mum.” Matthew smiled anyway, mostly to himself, but he noticed anyway. “Do you know if they’re starting soon?”
“They should be. I’ll kill Lucie if she dragged me out here just to wait for half an hour.”
“What would you be doing if she didn’t? Re-reading Great Expectations for the twenty-seventh time?”
He didn’t deign that with a response. Mostly because it was a little true.
The band stopped playing, and started to leave the stage. Matthew grinned, bouncing forward on his toes a little. “I think Luce’s band is coming on soon!”
Sure enough, he spotted his sister walking out onto the stage. She was holding drum sticks and laughing, sitting down behind the drums with a wide smile. James had never expected her to become a drummer in her spare time, but it suited her.
Three other girls from their friend group followed her, his cousin Anna Lightwood, her girlfriend Ariadne Bridgestock, and Cordelia Carstairs. Anna had her bass hanging from her shoulder, and Cordelia was almost cradeling her guitar.
Cordelia was new to London, but she was Lucie’s best friend, their family friend, and she played guitar, so she got recruited for the band almost immediately. They hadn’t spent too much time together yet, but the couple times they had seen each other, he had felt funny.
All of the women on stage looked beautiful, but James felt his eyes were drawn to Cordelia for some reason.
“Hello everyone,” Ariadne said, voice smooth and sweet. “We’re the Nephilim, and we hope you enjoy our cover of Somebody to Love by Queen and Should I Stay or Should I Go by The Clash!”
For a moment, the band was silent, the only sound being the murmur of the crowd.
Then Ariadne started to sing, and the band started to play, and the music took James over. Because they were good. Really really good, in a way that made him able to ignore the crowds and the stickiness of the floor. In a way that made him so grateful he came.
The whole band was great, he couldn’t deny that. They sounded amazing together, like a proper band. Ariadne’s voice was somehow high and a little sultry, Lucie was great at drumming, and Anna’s riffs sounded great, but like before, his eyes were drawn to Cordelia.
She wore a shimmery gold t-shirt with black skinny jeans that hugged the curves of her body. Her hair, a shade of flaming red that shone in the light, tumbled down her back. She smiled as she played her guitar, her lips red and full, and it was captivating. James wanted to make her smile like that, wanted to press his lips to hers.
Wait. What? Why was he thinking about Cordelia that way? They were family friends. Like cousins.
No, he thought. Thinking of them as cousins made him feel wrong, in a fundamental way. Like every cell in his body was screaming against it.
He was still staring at her as she started her guitar solo, grinning as she strummed the strings. Cordelia looked like she was in her own world, just her and her guitar and the wonderful music she was making.
She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.
Their first song ended too soon, and they started on Should I Stay or Should I Go. James’ eyes stayed on Cordelia the whole time. He wondered if he would ever be able to look away from her, if it was even possible. He wondered why everyone else wasn’t staring at her. Did they not see her, see her beauty and goodness and that look in her eyes?
Their second song ended too, and when they stopped playing something inside him felt empty. It hadn’t even been a minute, and James missed Cordelia’s playing.
“Thank you so much, everyone, and have a wonderful evening!” Ariadne said, waving to the crowd as the four of them left the stage.
“Wow, they were really good,” Matthew said. Oh right, he was with Matthew. “I’m pretty sure half the crowd’s in love with Ariadne now. James? Jamie? Is everything okay?”
He shook his head, trying to get the picture of Cordelia playing her guitar out of his mind. “Sorry. I’m fine.”
He looked confused for a moment, and then his eyes widened. He grinned mischievously, which could not be good. James quickly went over the three words he had said, sipping his beer. They didn’t mean anything, did they?
“Oh my god. Mate. You have a crush on Cordelia.”
He spat his drink out, just barely missing the person in front of him. “ What ? No. Why do you think that?”
“Well, lets see.” Matthew took his arm, leading him out of the club. “You look like how you used to look at Grace Bitchthorn, but less toxic. And you were staring at the stage. Lucie’s your sister, Anna’s your cousin, Ariadne is dating Anna and is also a lesbian, so there’s only one person up there that you could have fallen for. Cordelia Carstairs.”
Huh. That actually did make sense.
“Okay, maybe I have a crush on Cordelia,” James admitted. “So? And where are you taking me?”
“I’m taking you to the stage door so you can ask her out.”
If he still had beer in his mouth, he would have spat it out again. “What? Math, you know I’m horrible with girls.”
Matthew rolled his eyes. “It’ll be fine. You already know Cordelia, and you’re gorgeous. Besides, I’m 90% sure she likes you back, and I’m always right about these sorts of things.”
They turned into a dark alleyway, which thankfully didn’t smell like trash. He spotted the four girls at the end of the alleyway. Lucie was laughing, and Anna and Ariadne were holding hands. And Cordelia was smiling, flipping her hair over her shoulder.
“Hey,” Matthew said, skipping the last few steps toward them. “You guys sounded great. Like, really good.”
“Thank you,” Ariadne replied, gracious as always. “Hi James.”
He gave a little wave, feeling terribly stupid. “Hello. Like Matthew said, you guys were amazing.”
His best friend turned to him, giving an exaggerated wink before starting to make plans with Anna and Lucie and Ariadne. Probably to go to another club. That was the only time where he didn’t mind getting left out.
And he knew what Matthew was trying to do. Which helped.
“Daisy,” James said, his voice much huskier than he meant it to be. “You sounded beautiful. I didn’t know you played guitar.”
She giggled, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “Thank you. My dad taught me, he actually gave me mine. It even has a name.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah. Cortana.”
“Pretty,” he said. Like you. “Giving objects names . . . I don’t know. It gives them more meaning, I suppose.”
“I think so too.” Her voice was rich and soft, and she seemed like someone who would be warm to the touch. In the darkness, Cordelia almost seemed to glow.
James reached out without realizing it, grabbing her hand. Her skin was a shade of rich brown, and her skin was as soft and warm as he expected it to be.
“What are you doing?” she asked, but she didn’t sound upset. And she didn’t pull away.
“I’m holding your hand.” It wasn’t fancy or eloquent, like the protagonists of his favorite books, but he thought it was enough. “Is that okay?”
Cordelia nodded, beaming. “Yeah. That’s perfectly fine.”
He smiled back at her, taking her hand. It fit perfectly in his. “Okay then.”
Hand-in-hand, they turned back to their friends, and there was nowhere else he’d rather be.