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“Ash, are you okay?”
In the middle of the night, Goh’s voice sounded distant, he was supposed to be sleeping right now, in the bunk above.
Ash didn’t reply, he too, was suppose to be sleeping, but since the events of that morning, his brain couldn’t stop working, circling around the same thoughts he had on Slowpoke Island a few hours again.
Ash patted his head and frowned, he had lost count of how many times he did that since they were back at the lab, not fully realizing that the crown was gone from his head.
He hated to admit it, but he missed it.
He missed the clarity that came with it, the easiness he had to express practically everything that was going on his mind, the knowledge that flooded every single one of his nerve cells.
Actually, up until today, he had no idea those “little things in the brain” were called nerve cells; he had no idea of so much stuff!
The trainer shook his head, it was impossible not to miss all of the benefits that came with wearing the Slowking crown, but there was something else, weirder thoughts remaining there, things that he almost said, if not for Raboot’s timely kick to his head.
Goh trained that little mischievous Pokemon really well, Ash had to admit.
Now, in the middle of the night, those thoughts appeared again, starting to knock in a far corner of his mind.
He remembered Goh launching at him, trying to take the crown away from him, he sensed the researcher approaching him even if he was not looking directly at the boy.
Ash bit his lip, remembering that his mind struggled for a second in that moment, part of it wanted to get away from Goh (which it was what he did at the end)
But the other part, really wanted to embrace his partner, to melt in his arms for a moment…
And not like he used to hug Pikachu, or how he was used to hold the newly born Riolu since a few weeks ago. No, he wanted to hug Goh in a much different way.
He wanted to feel him closer.
Ash tried to focus on another thing that wasn’t his partner for a moment and he remembered something else he said on that island that same morning.
This is a critical factor to the Slowpoke’s future success!
He said those words, and he meant them. He realized the Slowking crown had a mind of its own, but in itself, it couldn’t do much.
It needed a host, and the Slowpoke herd needed a leader, someone to guide them, to protect them, to be his commander.
And Ash, being Ash, offered voluntarily to be that commander, his caring nature getting the best of him, he was willing to spent an entire lifetime stuck on that island if that meant those Pokemon could be safe from any danger.
Ash shuddered at the thought…
Renouncing to absolutely everything just to protect those creatures?
Goodbye to the World Championships, to his newly found passion for researching and exploring, and…
He shuddered again.
Goodbye to Goh?
He was going to say goodbye forever to those blue as sapphires, deep as the ocean, eyes, to that cute contagious smile, to that…
Ash Ketchum frowned, he preferred to focus his thoughts on another topic, and his mind drifted once more to the events of that morning.
Synergy…
That was a word he used to describe the relationship he shared with his new friend. There was no doubt he and Goh had a special connection, but it wasn’t anything extraordinary per se, after all, he developed the same connection with practically every single one of his companions throughout the years.
However, in Goh’s case…
“Ash, are you okay?” his friend repeated
Ash quickly closed his eyes and muttered a muffled response, pretending to be asleep. He stayed frozen for several seconds, until he was sure Goh wouldn’t insist again.
He really didn’t need his friend to interrupt his thoughts, especially not right now.
Finally Goh’s breath slowed down and he stopped moving, which was pretty much all the confirmation Ash could get without climbing up to see him.
No, he wasn’t going to climb up to see him.
No, that was stupid.
And creepy.
And pointless.
And…
And he really needed that.
He needed to know why he felt that weird connection with the researcher, why he felt that synergy between them, why every time Goh smiled at him or praised him or congratulated him he felt like he just caught a Legendary Pokemon.
He started to think that, if Goh wanted to complete his Pokedex and catch Mew, he would have to go hunting for legendary Pokemon at some point.
And he knew where those creatures lived, so obviously Goh was going to need him by his side, and of course, he would do as much as he could do to help him and maybe…
Ash shook his head, confused. Arceus, his mind was all over the place tonight, what was he thinking about before all that?
The Slowking crown, right. The clarity he needed back in his head, the peace of mind that Pokemon brought to his life.
Just like the peace Goh brought back to…
He got up startled, bumping his head against his friend’s bunk. Almost immediately, Goh’s face appeared on the side of his bed.
“Ash, are you…?”
“No!” the trainer shouted, surprising his partner “I’m not okay, so stop asking me that!”
Goh jumped out of his bed with impossible speed, rushing to his side and staring at his eyes.
“Hey… What is it? What’s wrong?”
When Ash didn’t respond, he searched for his hands between the covers and as soon he made contact with them, Ash shouted again
“Don’t do that!”
Goh took a step back, raising his hands in a defensive position. Ash could see fear in his face and he closed his eyes, unable to stare at him.
“Sorry…” he whispered
“What’s wrong?” Goh insisted
“You don’t want to know”
“I’m asking Ash; of course I want to know”
“You wouldn’t understand”
For several seconds, Goh went silent, Ash knew he was still in front of him, finally, the pressure was too much and he opened his eyes, looking at him. The boy from Vermillion City gave him a disapproval look, crossing his arms.
“Try me” he said sternly, knowing too well Ash Ketchum wouldn’t refuse a challenge
After what felt like an eternity, Ash finally confessed
“I can’t stop thinking”
“And that’s bad because…”
Ash got out of his bed and opened his arms, exasperated
“Because that’s not my thing! I act, I do things, I don’t stay quiet, and now… Now I can’t stop thinking about…”
“About?”
“Everything!”
“Be more specific”
“I can’t!” Ash huffed “I can’t stop thinking about my next challenge, about what happened today at Slowpoke Island, about the Magikarp Contest, about how I have to take care of Riolu, about…”
He kneeled down and punched the floor under him, and even Goh wasn’t sure what was wrong with him, so he approached carefully and kneeled in front of him.
“I miss the focus…” Ash let out between sobs
“Focus?”
“The Slowking crown, I could think a lot of things at the same time with it, but now… I’m not the same without it, I miss it”
“You seem like the same old, frenetic and crazy Ash Ketchum to me”
The trainer laughed at that.
“I keep thinking a lot of things at the same time, and my head hurts and my heart aches, and I can’t focus, I just can’t, I…”
Goh gave him a half-smile and Ash made an effort to not admit how cute he looked.
“Okay… I think I understand”
Goh said that sentence with certainty, but still, it wasn’t enough to ease Ash’s worries. At least not until he added:
“How can I help?”
“I don’t know… But I do know I want you to help me”
“That’s a really nice thing to say”
“Is it?”
Goh snorted
“Are you so confused you can’t even recognize when you give a compliment?”
“I…”
“You can’t think clearly” Goh interrupted “I got it, believe me”
“So, how can you…”
“Just talk to me” Goh interjected once again “If you have too many things on your mind, just let them all out, and we’ll see if that, at least, can help you relax”
Ash thought the idea was worth the shot, so he started to talk about Slowpoke Island. Goh simply limited to nod every once in a while.
He was telling him about how confused he fell when he said the word “synergy”, when Goh sat beside him.
He barely noticed the way the researcher looked at him, just when he told him he wished he could protect all those defenseless Pokemon.
He shuddered a little when the blue-eyed boy took his hand and intertwined their fingers, while listening to his rambles about why he wanted to be the very best, like no one ever was.
“Am I really fitted for Riolu? Am I really the best trainer he can get? Because I’m sure he…”
“I’m sure he’s just fine with you, Ash”
“With us, you mean”
“Us?” Goh said, requesting a confirmation, feeling a ball of heat starting to grow in his chest
“Of course, that’s another thing I can’t stop thinking about… you and me”
Oh, the way he said those words, Goh felt like he was going to die of embarrassment any minute now. Still, Ash’s feelings were more important that his own, so he pressed his hand, forcing him to continue
“I can’t stop thinking about you” Ash confessed
Goh smiled faintly. Of course Ash didn’t really mean it that way.
Right?
“About our synergy…”
Goh gulped. No, he couldn’t mean…
“About how much I want you to walk alongside me…”
It was impossible Ash could be talking about…
“About how I don’t want you to leave my side…”
And before Goh could counter, Ash fell towards his side, putting his head on his shoulder. Goh’s face flushed red and he tried by all means to not think about the whole situation…
“This feels really comfortable” Ash said, as soon as he felt Goh’s breath accelerating
The other boy let out a little sound of approval. He knew he couldn’t ignore the feeling bubbling at the tip of his mouth anymore, so he questioned
“Hey Ash?”
“Yeah?”
“What are you thinking about right now?”
“I want to go to Celurean City tomorrow, I want to face some of my old friends to get higher on the Championships ranks, I really want to see Leon and Raihan battling again, I really want Riolu to evolve, at his own time of course, but I want that so much…”
“Keep going…”
“I want to keep exploring, there’s this guy I know, his name’s Brandon, he knows all about the Regi Trio and Regigigas, I really wish we could see Lugia again, and even fly on his back if that’s possible…”
“Sounds nice” Goh admitted
“I want to go back to Alola, check how Kukui, Burnet, and the rest of my gang are doing.”
“Your gang?” Goh questioned, knowing that was a story Ash never told him
“My gang” the other boy confirmed, and then continued “Oh, I want you to see the Ultra Space so much…”
“Seems interesting”
“I want Koharu to come with us, she really needs to explore the world and love Pokemon the way we do”
“That would be fantastic”
“I want everyone at the Lab to be proud of our work…”
“I’m sure they are already” Goh interrupted
Ash took a deep breath and looked at his friend’s blue, deep at the ocean, glistening eyes
“I want you to be proud of me” he said, but it sounded more like a plea
“I am” Goh said without hesitation
“I want you to stay at my side, to walk alo…”
“To walk alongside you, and I will. I’m not going anywhere, Ash. At least, not without you”
Goh blushed a little, hoping Ash would understand what he was implying…
Meanwhile, the Pallet Town native took a deep breath
“Wow” he said after a few seconds
“Is there something wrong?”
“Not at all” he confirmed “Actually, I’m feeling fine… I don’t have so many thoughts in my head”
“That’s really good to hear…” Goh muttered, while feeling Ash’s arms wrapping around his waist
“Could we do this…?”
“Whenever you need, Ash”
“Thank you”
“I’m glad I could help you”
“You feel nice”
“O-kay…” Goh whispered, blushing once more
“Like really nice, your voice feels nice, you wanting to help me so much feels nice, your smile feels nice”
He twisted his hair with one hand, making a whirlpool while adding:
“Your hair feels nice too”
“Ash, you’re thinking about too much stuff again…”
“You worrying about me feels nice”
“I…”
Goh closed his mouth, unable to say something else. Ash Ketchum, once more, left him speechless.
“There’s something else on my mind” Ash added after a minute of silence
“What is it?”
“You”
“You mentioned me half a dozen times already”
“I know”
“So?”
“You’re still on my mind” Ash confessed
The way Ash said those words was so fast, so soft, so…
Unexpected.
Goh tried to focus his eyes on something else; he stared at the sleeping figures of their Pokemon. Raboot was in the bunk above, Pikachu below.
A stain on the wall.
Ash’s cute t-shirt.
His messy hair.
His brown eyes.
His never-ending smile.
“Oh, screw this” he said out of nowhere, and Ash gasped at the words “You’re always on my mind, Ash Ketchum!”
And before the trainer could understand the meaning of those words, Goh launched to his arms, knocking him to the ground, hugging him tightly, pressing his nose against his temple, giggling like an idiot…
Goh smiled from above, and Ash understood he had no escape; although he had no intentions to escape either.
“Can you guess what I’m thinking?” the researcher questioned, knowing very well Ash wouldn’t refuse a challenge
“Hopefully the same thing I’m thinking” Ash said, out of breath
Goh had to laugh at that cheesy response. He moved slowly towards his crush, ready to share his first kiss with him.
And Ash Ketchum received him with open arms…