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The beginning of the year is blurry in Kyungmin’s memory.
Perhaps because he feels they’ve all changed so much since then. Perhaps because this particular year, with all of its exams and harsh grades, felt longer than the ones before.
Nevertheless, it’s blurry. It feels far away, like another life.
And still, somehow, certain memories linger.
Even as the clouds above clear to make way for the sun, and the birds return from their winter homes, Kyungmin remembers certain things. He is sure he won’t be able to forget.
Ahem. Forgive him, he’s feeling a little sappy today.
Kyungmin’s brain buffers for a bit, and then replays his thoughts.
Yuck. That doesn’t feel right. None of that feels right. At all.
Fuck it, we in philosophical hours ✌('ω').
Refreshing page...
Ah, that feels much better.
Back to natural highs and natural aegyo.
More like back to unorganized thoughts and general chaos. Back to a mind full of Jeong Jaebeom, of all people. Back to saying “shut up” and “shut up” only, for reasons that Kyungmin can’t, no matter how hard he tries, bring himself to move on from.
There’s about a week left until the end of the school year. Yes, time flew by.
It doesn’t truly mean much for Kyungmin, who’s stuck in the little unnamed space between seniors and freshmen, one of the grades that don’t get harassed nor do any harassing.
They're just there.
~Floating.~
It may not be a particularly entertaining space to be in. That leads to Kyungmin deciding that, since a lot of them are graduating, he might as well make the best of his time with his friends.
Sometimes, Kyungmin thinks back to when they all first met, different people with different stories and--
Nope, no deep hours.
After all, his friends are the type of people whose presences don't exactly encourage deep thought.
(That’s a nice way of saying Kyungmin’s friends are just really stupid.（´･ω･｀o）)
Today’s lunch room discussion is on Geonu’s sexuality.
The boy in question sits, watching serenely after having finally put his work away.
About time.
Geonu seems weirdly comfortable with the topic. Kyungmin knows he’d die on the spot if Heeseung started speculating about him like that.
Occasionally, Geonu throws in a “You’re never gonna get it~” for extra spice.
With the “~” and everything. Kyungmin has taught him well.
Of course, Geonu’s little interjections only cause more chaos.
Kyungmin sits back and watches the pandemonium.
“See, but when he says that, I say big fucking gae.” Heeseung explains, eyes wide and hands held out in front of him like he’s made a discovery.
“That’s because he wants you to think that,” Jungwon counters, imitating Heeseung’s expression.
“Haha (∩_∩),” Geonu says.
“Why are we even discussing this?” Niki asks, looking nervously around.
“Yeah. We all know Geonu would highkey do the platonic marriage thing.” Jay states casually.
Niki grimaces. “Not what I meant, but…”
Sunoo slaps Jay’s arm. “You’re just digging our graves for us, huh?”
“What?” A second of hesitation. “Oh!”
Yeah, Kyungmin doesn’t know what’s going on over there.
“This should be a game show,” Jake deadpans, “Guess your cynic friend’s sexuality.”
“Well,” Jaeho replies, “In that case, my money’s on ace.” He slides a few coins onto the table.
“Oh, we betting for real?” Sungcheol looks concerned. “Wait, do game shows even involve betting?”
Sunghoon stares at the coins on the table. “Why do you walk around carrying spare change, the fuck?”
“He’s a fucking psychopath.” Jimin grins.
“Ooh, tea.” Yoonwon glances down at his hand, the mockery obvious. Heeseung glares.
“He’s my psychopath though.” Jimin adds a wad of cash to the pile. “Money’s on ace.”
Jaeho wrinkles his nose and holds up a cross with his fingers. “I’m not your anything.”
“If you say so.”
Taeyong tosses a single coin, which lands next to the first pile. “Straight with a side of disaster, anyone?”
“Is anyone around here straight? News to me.”
Oh, that’s Kyungmin’s cue. Well, it’s barely a cue. It’s more automatic at this point.
“Shut up, Jaebeom.”
Jaebeom does not look in his direction, but the corner of his mouth turns up in one of his usual half-smiles. “Shut up, Kyungmin.”
“Shut up, Jaebeom.”
“Sh--”
“Fuck it, ‘shut up’ cycle origin story. It’s about time.” Hanbin pipes up, slamming a hand down on the table.
The entire thing shakes.
Youngbin’s water bottle falls off the table. He catches it, somehow.
Kei and Seon look up at them in sync.
Heeseung gay panics.
Nicholas reflexively grabs Hanbin’s shoulders and pulls him back.
“Ow, for fuck’s sake!”
“Sorry, sorry!” Nicholas glances between Kyungmin and Jaebeom, letting go of Hanbin, who quickly pulls away and gives him a half-assed slap. “Seriously though, we don’t know where the shut up thing came from.”
“And we’d welcome a change from the… Geonu discussion.” Daniel grumbles.
“Aw, darn.” Euijoo grins. “I was enjoying myself.”
“No, you just like disagreeing with me.”
“... You’re not wrong.”
“Ok, but ‘shut up’ cycle origin story.” Youngbin says quietly.
Jaebeom raises an eyebrow. “Origin story makes it sound like a superhero.”
“Backstory?” Taeyong wonders aloud.
“Either way, it seems like a cute story.” Taki smiles. (*＞ｖ＜ *) ゜
Kyungmin wants to give the child a hug, dear god. Instead, he looks around the table and says, “It’s not that entertaining, seriously.”
Well, it’s, like, mediocre entertaining.
Wait, flashback time? Already?
(Yes, because this is one of the few memories from the start of the year that Kyungmin can’t seem to get out of his mind.)
*clears throat* Whoo, storytime.
(This is all still going on in Kyungmin’s head. He shifts in his seat and pretends to be mentally present as the conversation around the table continues.)
Kyungmin met Jaebeom in the winter. Like most winters, it was cold. Snowy. Gross.
Kyungmin doesn’t like winter too much. He prefers summers, with their bright skies and late sunsets and--
Moving on.
Kyungmin met Jaebeom in the winter.
This isn’t a love story, or a meet-cute, or anything of the sort.
In fact, Kyungmin can barely recall the specifics of their first meeting.
All he remembers is the instant association in his mind, the “oh, this is the bullied kid”, and then feeling bad about it, and then falling in platonic love and being attached at the hip with the kid for the next who knows how long.
It was a strange turn of events, in hindsight.
Maybe it was fate, maybe some of that destiny shit--
Refreshing page…
Jaebeom is relatively quiet, with eyes that betray his every emotion and a smile that barely anyone got to see at the time.
He reminded Kyungmin of the color green, at first. And piano music.
For whatever reason.
Wow, this really does sound like a love story.
(Kyungmin hopes he isn’t blushing red, as he tends to do.)
It’s still not a love story, dear god.
(“Get to the point, Kyungmin! Stop internally screeching about your best friend’s eyes, Kyungmin!”
Yeah, yeah.)
Whatever higher power that pushed Kyungmin and Jaebeom together must have been out of their mind.
They’re both hopeless romantics with a knack for finding themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time and bad impulse control.
One can only imagine the kind of shit the pair of them got up to, the uncountable times they’d just barely avoided real trouble.
The most notable of which was the time they actually fucking climbed onto the roof of the damn school.
Kyungmin is not sure what the pair of them were on.
Winter was (fucking finally) coming to a close. Sweatshirts were being exchanged for T-shirts, hot cocoa for iced coffee.
(Though, if you happen to be gay, iced coffee is constant.)
It was that weird, unnamed, floaty space between winter and spring, comparable to the weird floaty space in which Kyungmin is currently lingering.
Though, decidedly, high school is significantly less beautiful than the phenomenon of Earth’s seasons.
Damn, lost focus again, have we?
Of course we have.
The whole thing happened during a study hall. The two of them had technically found the staircase by accident.
It was more like a, “Wait, was there always a door here?” type situation.
Add some of the aforementioned bad impulse control, and you get… Whatever this was.
“Honestly,” Kyungmin remarked as they climbed up, “Half the shit in this school is hidden until you need it.”
Once again, in hindsight, Kyungmin was doing some mad foreshadowing with that statement.
He pauses in his reminiscing to wonder if it applies to people as well.
“I’d argue all the shit, but okay.” Jaebeom paused a few steps behind him. “That’s some Harry Potter level stuff.”
“Please, spare me the nerding out.”
“The book series is literally an essential part of growing up, I don’t understand how you’ve gone 15 years of your life without--”
“ Please .”
“You act like you don’t screech about shoujo anime like, all the fucking time.”
Kyungmin turns around to flip him off. t( -_- t ).
“Damn it, does this stairway ever end?”
“Shush. We are ~ascending~. We are becoming ~one with the stars~.”
“It’s 11 AM.”
( ￣＾￣).
They did, eventually, reach the top. Kyungmin was more than a little perplexed by the trapdoor. He quickly pushed away the feeling that they really shouldn’t be there, and made his way up.
The view from the flat roof of the school was quite something.
Jaebeom thought it unremarkable. For a short distance forward, there was virtually nothing but a parking lot and a field. There were some roads a bit after, but nothing noteworthy.
But Kyungmin was more focused on what lay beyond.
Far past the limits of the school property and the bustling roads, past the rows of uniform trees, there were buildings standing tall. A distinct skyline. A whole city past the limits of what could be immediately seen.
The clouds were wispy that day, like someone had cast a few strokes through water with a paintbrush.
For once, the two of them were silent.
There was a chill in the air, of course. The cars were honking at each other. It wasn’t a perfect view.
But it was nice.
“Huh.” Jaebeom had said quietly, just barely breaking the silence. “This really is like a scene from one of your dumb romance animes.”
Kyungmin predictably went a flaming red. “Shut up.”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t?” Jaebeom had done his signature feeble attempt at a smirk.
Kyungmin considered this. There was the pleasant threat of pushing him off the roof, but Kyungmin was simply too nice for that. He sighed, exasperated. “Generally, when people tell others to shut up, they listen.”
“Do I look like the kind of person to follow general rules?”
“Well, no.”
“And who’s to say I even interpreted that ‘shut up’ as a ‘shut up’?”
“Well, genius, what else could it be interpreted as?”
Jaebeom’s voice shot up an octave as he explained, obviously mocking Kyungmin. “Words have the meaning we assign to them, ‘Minnie.”
“Did I not tell you to stop calling me that?”
“I think I must have tuned that out. Either way, what I said still stands.”
It was too early in the morning for Kyungmin to figure out what the hell Jaebeom was talking about. “Please just shut up.” He paused. “Interpret that as whatever you want.”
Jaebeom had smiled, a little unsure, but purely happy.
“I love you too.”
Maybe it’s not a particularly entertaining story, but Kyungmin remembers this.
Even as the year draws to a close and some of the closest friends Kyungmin has ever made are getting ready to leave and move on with their lives, he remembers this.
And he finds comfort in the fact that, hey, at least Jaebeom’s still staying with him.
He’s not going anywhere.
As if on cue, the boy turns and looks at him.
The table is still screaming around them, things like Geonu’s sexuality and their endless cycle of seemingly meaningless banter long since forgotten.
“Hey, you kinda look like you spaced out. Is everything okay?”
Kyungmin blinks a few times, and then feels himself smile.
Piano music is playing, somewhere in the depths of his mind.
“Shut up, Jaebeom.”