Work Text:
ardour/ˈärdər/
A strong, intense feeling of love or enthusiasm for someone or something
“If my love were an ocean, there would be no more land. If my love were a desert, you would see only sand. If my love were a star–late at night, only light. And if my love could grow wings, I’d be soaring in flight.”
— Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
Tezevia
I knew the moment my sister Yenni arrived at the Duke’s residence that something big must have happened. Her face looks so determined contrary to the happy-go-lucky countenance she usually displays.
Her stride has a purpose. The look she was giving me feels like she was out-for-blood specifically my blood. I knew her well as the back of my hand since we were kids.
But since I started my pregnancy with Brisney, and the unexpected kidnapping of the Emperor of Belgoth, she became a whole new different person. She still smiles silly but I know there may be something big happening.
She wouldn’t talk about the circumstances she’s been involved with. My father and mother were so worried about her sudden malady. She came back with sensitivity to mana we didn’t know was a thing.
She is bottling everything inside her and it makes me feel bad keeping the letters from her lover. The fact that she has startling mana maladjustment, courtship and proposal letters from the Emperor are only known within the family as my father has strongly opposed his rejection for the union.
I know it's just a matter of time before she was truly taken. Her eyes tell it all whenever the Emperor was mentioned. She has a lovesick fool face. I would now because I live with it every day.
“Sister Tezevia, why?!”
“I don’t know what you mean Yerenica, please enlighten me.”
“The letters!”
“What letters Yenni?”
“Please don’t do this sister. I have told you before how much I love Euredian.”
I was surprised to see when tears streamed down her eyes. From gentle cry to pitiful sobs. My heart aches to see my only sister like this. Did she love that man? But to what extent?
“Yerenica goodness gracious!!”
“Sister Tezevia! I-I love him so much that it is killing me inside not knowing how he is. I want my family to accept it because he is a good man. I wouldn’t risk my everything to him not knowing who he is. H-He is my happiness.”
I feel her pain. I understand her. I knew this because every day I woke up with my love beside me. I married a wonderful man myself.
“Yerenica I am sorry.”
“Sis!!”
I hugged her tight, comforting her lovely figure. I didn’t know when she would grow up to be this fine lady. I give in to her. All I remember was the kid who wore pig-tails that always follow me around.
Don’t worry Yerenica. I’ll help you with our father.
I asked the maid-in-waiting to prepare tea while I went to retrieve the letters Sergey intercepted with. I gave her the letters my father tried to hide from her.
She was still trying to calm down when she noticed the bunch of letters I hold. Her eyes shine with anticipation. Right there and then I knew I made the right decision.
It’s my way of saying thank you on the day of the ambush in the palace where she sacrificed herself in hiding me. That day was probably the turning point for these two lovers. That maybe fate, write it down so their paths could finally meet.
***
Yerenica
I left Euredian in the Western Palace because I don’t want him to see my face while he was reading my letters. It was so embarrassing when someone was reading your letters out loud.
But that guy! Seriously! When he told me about the letters I didn’t receive I knew someone blocked them. I already reprimanded Sergey so the next thing would be my sister and father.
I did not plan to burst in tears when I came to the Duke of Lebanon’s residence. It's just that my emotions are unstable lately. I feel deprived of Euredian and the moment I saw him all this frustration that piled up just burst to nothingness.
I ran to his loving arms. Hearing his sweet-nothings still gave me goosebump but I can’t help falling in love with this new side of him. Is he always this possessive and sweet?
The butterflies in my stomach were chaotically berserk whenever he was near. And Raulus keeps on teasing me only adds to my embarrassment.
When I get hold of the letters I read the topmost and I just….
Fall in love with him all over again.
*****֎*****
Winter
My Dearest Princess,
There are few things more magical than looking out the window from your palace windows and discovering those first flurries gently falling to the ground. When the snow builds up outside our places it envelops us in a warm cocoon.
When I‘m with you, everything feels so right and I feel blessed. I cherished every single day that we spent together.
It is starting to snow here in Belgoth. As they slowly flutter down like pieces of cotton. It reminded me of your pink cotton candy hair that you sometimes find annoying. To me, it symbolizes you all vibrant and colourful.
It's as white as your milky skin that blushes whenever I am near. You reminded me of the clouds above. An ever-changing dream comes true.
I know you want me to call you by your name. I want to see your face when I do. You are the colour of my pale and boring life. You are the reason for my smile.
The palace is going to hold a celebration for the winter festival. I wish you could be here by my side. So I can announce to the whole Belgoth that this lovely woman was mine.
How is Brisney and Alexio by the way? Are they giving you trouble? Don’t tire yourself too much, please.
I made a poem just for you when I am missing you so badly. Here it goes. I hope it will reach you together with my warm hugs and kisses.
If you said you were cold, I would wrap my arms around you.
If you said you were thirsty I would give you the ocean blue.
I would give you anything the moon, the stars, the sunset too.
This heart in my hands I hold out to you.
With love,
Euredian Lu Soledo Belgoth
*****֎*****
*****֎*****
Spring
My Dear Yerenica,
The whole world comes alive after the winter in which it seemed that everything was dead. The world comes filled with colour and the scent of delicious greenery. The world that seemed so dull and cold has come alive once again.
I’ve been waiting for you for so long, and now that you are far away my heart longs for you more. They say promises are made to be broken, but I say promises are meant to be as long as we believe in the power of love, in us.
How’s the weather in Lebovny, my Yerenica. I know I will say your name once we see each other but I give up. I miss you so badly.
Did you receive the letters and gifts I sent you? Are you in a precarious situation again? I’ll come to you as soon as I finish. Don’t give up on me, my Yerenica. I will always remember what you said to me before we part ways. It will always be me because it's only you for me, no questions asked.
I am so thankful and happy that I have found my destiny in you. You are my happiness, a very special blessing God has given to me.
For the first time
Into my world
of darkness and silence,
you brought light and music.
When you lit my candle,
I began to see and understand
the taste and texture of love.
For the first time.
Truly Yours,
Euredian
*****֎*****
*****֎*****
Summer
My Yenni,
Summer is the stuff of dreams. It is the time of infinite fun. The day seems to last forever, and the fun never stops. It is a time of romance, excitement and enhanced enjoyment of life.
Knowing you is the greatest thing that happened in my entire existence. I never realized how happy and complete I am with you by my side. I always dream of our time together.
Every sound of your voice is like music to my ears, a serene lullaby that lulls me to sweet daydream. When I gaze into your soulful blue eyes, I could see a brighter tomorrow.
The soft whispers of your enchanting voice lift my empty spirits and calm my weary thoughts. Your beaming smile chases all my worries and uncertainties away.
Your warm embrace puts me in a trance of sweet lullabies and melody. The moment I hold your hand, I know right away that you are the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Yerenica do we have a problem? Do you not want me anymore? My sweetheart, please do not give up on us. I am begging you. I’ll fix this, I'll fix us.
I will always reminisce the day that I fell in love with you. I always knew you were going to change my life the moment I saw you hiding in that pillar. You are so courageous and brave saving everybody, that you forget that you need saving too.
My Sunshine, wait for me, please. I am coming home to you soon.
You are made for me
Of all the girls I’ve ever met,
You’re the one I can’t forget.
I do believe that God above,
Created you for me to love.
He chose you from all the rest,
Because he knew I would love you best.
Always Yours,
Your Eru
*****֎*****
*****֎*****
Fall
My Love,
But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous way as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of the year, it stays awhile like an old lover that you have missed.
I thank God for bringing you to my life. You gave meaning to my existence and I could not imagine a life without you in it. Loving you was the most special thing that ever happened to me.
You and I are made together, forever. You have a special place in my heart and no one could ever replace that, be in this lifetime or any other lifetime.
Did you say 2-years? I’ll finish it as soon as possible. It’s been months since I last heard from you. Yerenica are you okay? Are you sick?
I hope I was by your side kissing those illnesses away. I promise you the next time we are together I won’t let you go. This is the only time we are going to be apart. So wait a little more, my love.
Longing for your love
When I enter a rose garden
My eyes start to long for your face
Whenever I taste the sweetness
My lips start to long for your sweet kisses
Whenever I talk about my passion
The whole mine starts to long for your ever-changing love…
Loving you forever,
Eru
*****֎*****
My heart jumps to my throat when I read the last line. My eyes get blurry with tears. I should have seduced the villain’s father from the start. I didn’t know he had a sweet facade in those poker faces of his.
Euredian knew how to attack not only through those handsome faces but with his letters. I am losing a battle of fighting myself. I feel like asking him to marry me right now, right this instant.
He knew how to stir a storm of emotions inside me. He was so perfect. I remember a line in my previous world “when a courteous gentleman was proposing to his lady, pledging his allegiance to her and declaring his undying love for her, getting down on one knee was the natural thing to do.”
He did more than that. He tried to do the right thing with my father and my family. But I guess they still can’t get over the past. He was being punished for something the Lebovny had a part too, which led him to make those decisions.
I heard from my sister that he wrote the proposal letters that my father just ripped off. He is really something else. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.
I know that I am lonely, the company that keeps me entertained can’t fill the gap that he can only fill. It’s better to die knowing that you were loved and cared for than to live many years wishing that death would rescue you from the loneliness that tortures you daily.
This time I am going to be selfish. I’ll think of my happiness first. Meanings are not determined by situations, but we determine ourselves by the meanings we give to situations.
I love him, he loves me. What’s more to think about.