Chapter Text
A high pitched whistle through the air. the sound of a shot, the splatter of blood erupting from the arrow. Tommy’s breath hitched as the boy before him shook and breathed shakily. A red splotch grew right between his ribs, the flint of the arrow dripping with blood, sticking halfway out of the shorter boy. His brown eyes, watering with fear and realization, met the blondes ocean blue eyes.
“T-Tommy..?” He whispered fearfully, before collapsing, Tommy catching him and crouching down to hold his friend, blood pooling on the grass slowly.
“T-Tubbo? Tubbo, you’re okay, it’s okay-“ Tommy was distraught. His best friend was shot, and they were still on the battlefield. Quickly he lifted the smaller boy as he whimpered in pain, and crouched behind a nearby tree to lay him down again.
“T-tommy,,? I-I don’t-“ The boys breath hitched as tears began to spill. He clutched Tommy’s shirt fearfully, Tommy using one arm to hold up the boys upper body. “I-I don’t wanna die, Tommy, I don’t- please don’t let me die.. I can’t.. I..” Tubbo hiccuped as he sobbed, terror and adrenaline lit in his eyes as he frantically clutched onto Tommy.
“T-Tubbo, you aren’t dying, I won’t let you die, you’re okay, you’re okay, please-“ Tommy was cut off by Tubbo pushing his face into Tommy’s chest and wrapping his arms around the other in a terror filled hug, his tears wetting the taller boys shirt. Tommy hugged him back, ignoring the poke of the arrow pressing into him slightly. They were both shaking, tears running down both of their faces. But Tommy was desperate.
“T-Tubbo.. Toby, you aren’t dying, I won’t let you die, come on, we can- I can fix this.. you’ll be okay, Toby, Toby It’s okay, it’s okay Toby please, please it’s okay-“ Tommy’s heart wrenched at the sobs erupting from his friends shaking figure. Tubbo was so scared, he couldn’t let his friend die, it wouldn’t happen. It couldn’t.
Tubbo cried in pain as he Tommy attempted to lift him, causing him to let go and gently put him down again. Tommy’s eyes were panicked.
“I-okay, i cant take you back to L’manburg, Tubbo, but I-I can get help, I can get Niki, she knows medics, yea-“ As Tommy began to rise Tubbos eyes widened in panic, as he attempted to pull Tommy back down in fear.
“Tommy, please-please don’t leave me, don’t
leave-“
“I-I’m not leaving, I’m here, I’m still here, Tubbo, it’s okay..” Tommy’s voice cracked, and Tubbo looked up to see the sadness and fear in his friends eyes. His best friend. And his voice was cracking.. Tommy sounded so sad.. and a pit opened up in Tubbos stomach as he thought weakly, why was he sad? Another sob hiccuped from the boy as he began to slump more in Tommy’s arms, it felt like he couldn’t hold on to Tommy as much anymore. Huh, where had his strength gone? The feeling of Tommy, his shirt, the warmth that came from him, it was slipping through his fingers. He felt so cold. Why was he so cold?
There was something being spoken to him, more voices than before, he thinks, but for some reason he couldn’t hear it. And oh, oh he couldn’t breathe.. a strangled sound left Tubbo, his panicked eyes meeting Tommy’s once again, the choked cries breaking Tommy, who desperately tried to hold on to the boy, to tell him to hold on. Tubbo leaned his forehead against Tommys chest again, eyes shut and sobbing. He was so scared. Why was he so scared? Why was it so hard to breathe, to move at all, what was this feeling of him slipping away..? Why was it so hard to tell what was happening... what had happened? Why did everything hurt so badly... Suddenly there was ringing in his ears, and the sounds flooded back in. The first thing he heard was Tommy’s voice shouting in his ears.
“TOBY! Stay awake, stay awake, please, Toby..” Tubbo lifted his head once again, his eyes fluttering dreamily. He felt so tired, there was something in the back of his mind, pulling him somewhere, but he didn’t quite know what.. His eyes met Tommy’s, and he sighed with a shaky, sad voice, tipping his head to the side, Tommy’s arm holding his head there. Tommy looked frightful, and ready to move, causing that terror to flood Tubbos system again, as he lazily used one hand to gently hold Tommy’s shirt, which took a lot of effort this time around.
“Don’t-dont go, please, Tommy. Don’t let me die alone, please..” Blue eyes widened in overwhelming sadness. Tubbo let his hand fall once again, shaking, he wanted to hold something, he wanted anything to feel, JUST to make him feel less alone, he hated being alone. He didn’t want to be alone when he died, he wanted to atleast feel his best friend there for him. Tommy seemed to get the hint and used his free hand to link with Tubbos, his fingers squeezing tightly, in desperation, Tubbo wished he could squeeze back, to comfort his friend, suddenly remembering his friends sadness. Another strangled sob left him at the thought. He didn’t want his friend to be sad.
“T-Tommy? Dont be sad.. please, it’s okay.. why are you crying..?” Tommy realized tears were running down his face, and he almost laughed at that. His friend, who was actually the one dying, was comforting him.
Slowly, Tubbo felt a wave of calm come over him. It was as though all feeling began to leave him. He could barely think at all, actually. His thumb lightly rubbed Tommy’s hand that still held his tightly, desperately. His eyes, which had glanced and roamed everywhere, looked up to meet Tommy’s gaze once more. He smiled sleepily at the blonde boy. Tommy attempted to smile back, though his was tight and the tears that wet his cheeks gave away his true feeling.
“Mm... I’m tired,, Tommy.”
“I know, Toby.”
“... Did‘ja know,, I love you,, Tommy..” Tubbos shaky and weary words were murmured tiredly, met with Tommy’s equally shaky, if not more, response.
“I-I love you too, Toby.”
That seemed to satisfy Tubbo, who with half lidded eyes smiled a happy smile. Despite all the fake bullying and denial of Tommy actually liking his friend, and while they both knew it was just for jokes and his friend did care, it was really nice to hear it. Tubbo nuzzled into Tommy more, letting the heat from Tommy warm him up, he was getting really cold.
“G’night.. Tommy...” Tubbo said tiredly. Tommy inhaled sharply, a bout of tears spilling down his cheeks, as he adjusted the hand holding up his friend so that his hand pressed against Tubbos chilled, wet cheek. He rubbed the tears their slightly, as though attempting to brush them away. Tubbos lidded, weary, yet happy and warm eyes still gazed up at Tommy as he was held. Tommy didn’t look anywhere else, nowhere other than his friends eyes with a tight lipped, deeply sad smile.
“G’night Toby... it’s okay, I’m right here.”
It was there that Tommy watched the light from his best friends eyes begin to dim, and when Tubbos shaky breathing began to slow, Tommy still held him. And once the light had fully died in his friends eyes, and his final breath left his body, Tommy still held him. Whatever had been going on around him, on the battlefield they’d previously been on, he didn’t know. He couldn’t focus on any other thing, other than his best friend, his lifeless, husk of a boy, friend that weighed heavily in his arms.
Tommy had shut his eyes and hugged Tubbo close, fingers shaking as he desperately gripped the coat of his friend. Not like this.. please... please, not like this. His eyes were shut tight as voices sounded like they were coming closer. He barely registered them, not caring enough to figure out who was coming. His friend was dead, Tubbo was dead.
The voices got louder until he could feel hands touching him, shaking him frantically.
“Tommy? Tommy! We.. we’ve got to go! We need to get back to L’manburg-“
Frustration and rage welled up in him as the hands tried to move him, before he shouted in anger at them to go away. Through his tear filled vision he could still make out his teammates, his comrades. What was left of them. Sympathetic, yet panicked gazes stared back at him.
“Tommy, we need to go, we will come back for Tubbo-“
Tommy screamed a string of words as he pushed off the hands on his shoulder, dropping down to hold Tubbo again. Rage blinded Tommy to the situation, sadness outweighing his need to move. Which was why suddenly two pairs of hands grabbed him and began pulling him quickly, and despite his initial shock, he quickly began screaming a line of curses at whoever was taking him away from Tubbo. Tubbo who was dead, Tubbo who had just died in his arms. And panic began setting in as he was thrown over someone’s shoulder, his anger setting into fear and terror, because what about Tubbo?
He squirmed and kicked and cried in the hold of the one carrying him as he saw Tubbos body getting smaller in the distance, because no no, guys, Tubbo is still back there, we can’t leave him, he’s cold, he’s gonna be too cold-! Tommy cried and kicked and struggled until he lost his strength, and upon realizing they were now in a boat, he slumped over the side, sobbing dry tears as he shook. He felt a hand on his back occasionally, and he let it remain there because he felt slightly comforted by it. But completely blinded and senseless to all reason, he continued to cry over the side of the small boat, because Tubbo was cold, and he was alone. He’d left his friend alone, and who would help him, who would warm him up?
The tears had stopped falling a while ago, maybe there was no liquids left to cry. But as they rowed Tommy remained hung over the side of the boat, defeatedly. His eyes felt hollow, and in that moment, after his rage, fire, desperation, and grief, felt empty.
But in that moment.. Tommy felt just as lifeless as Tubbo was.