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“He looks like Keith.”
Deep down, Rachel knew such a comment would arise when she brought her current boyfriend and significant other to the family home for a visit that summer. She saw the looks on everyone’s faces when she walked in with Ryo, their eyes obviously taking in how much Ryo looked like Keith, the young man she’d fallen in love in love with right after graduating from college.
She’d not expected the person to vocalize how much the two looked alike to be Lance.
The words hung in the air, Lance having said what the rest of the family avoided saying. In the back of her mind, perhaps Rachel perhaps might not have known Lance would be the one who would say something regarding her boyfriend, but the lack of tact was completely expected. Of course, the look in his eyes also screamed anger rather than disappointment like the other family members.
Worse, the way he spoke sounded almost accusing – no, was accusing, though she couldn’t quite place what he was trying to accuse her of. “And?”
“I hated Keith.”
“I see.” Everyone in the family knew Lance didn’t like Keith, being that Keith managed in surpassing Lance in pretty much everything at the garrison, although this perhaps wasn’t a difficult thing for someone to do. The real root of the problem lay with how Lance disliked the fact his hero, Takashi Shirogane, purposefully chose Keith to mentor, but at the time she’d not thought much about the matter.
“You don’t see.”
Rachel let out a sigh, not wanting an argument between her and her younger brother. Her mind drifted to the changing point when she started thinking more carefully about Lance’s real problem with Keith, right after Veronica brought Keith to visit the family home after Takashi Shirogane’s mission failed, leading to the garrison pronouncing him and everyone on the said mission as dead.
After all, there was no way to find someone out in the vastness of outer space, unlike there was a way of finding someone here on Earth, making the situation with Keith even more frustrating to everyone in the family who came to know the young man when the garrison announced Keith was also presumed dead; Earth wasn’t outer space.
…
Meeting Keith that summer last did result in Rachel falling head over heels for him.
It wasn’t just because doing so would irritate her younger brother so much, but because Keith had that bad boy vibe about him – which actually turned out to be a misconception she learned later on, after she’d…
Well, everything started with Veronica bringing Keith home because Takashi Shirogane died and said death hitting Keith hard. Of course, when she introduced Keith to the family and why he was there, the first words out of his mouth were, “He’s not dead.”
Nobody ever thought they’d be wishing the words “He’s not dead,” for Keith a few months later. Instead, the couple of weeks he spent with the family were enjoyable, particularly how he drove Lance nuts with how “perfect” he was. She felt so as well, which is why, when she got the chance she approached him, taking a deep breath; in some ways, she expected the rest of her family planned that out, given the fact she’d picked up on her feelings even though Keith hadn’t.
“Hi.”
“Oh. Hi.”
“So, um. I’d like to say something.”
“If it’s about Lance…”
“No. Just ignore him. He wants to get a rise out of you, so it’s best not to let him.”
“I’ll try, but…”
“Yeah. Rather difficult.” She took a deep breath. “I would like to go on a date with you.” Of course, she hadn’t expected the look on his face which was utter confusion for some reason. “Um, do you not understand what I asked?”
“To make Lance mad?”
“No, though that would be a bonus. I want to date you because I’m sexually attracted to you.”
“Uh…” Keith reached up and rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry, but…”
“But what.”
“I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
That was when she realized while he looked like a bad boy and acted that way when he didn’t know someone, he really wasn’t. “You don’t feel the same way.”
“No. Sorry. I’ve not really thought much about dating, like, ever.” Keith looked away, worrying his lip. “It’s weird being college-age and having never gone on a date.”
“Well, how about not hurting my feelings by us going on a date as friends and me teaching you the proper etiquette for dating a girl – or a guy?”
“A guy?” Keith seemed surprised, carefully contemplating her words. “Huh. Never really thought about guys either. Well, maybe girls a bit given the fact everyone’s talking about dating every so often, but – yeah. I just want to meet the right one, and I think she’s out there, somewhere in the universe waiting.”
“Well, that’s sweet. Even more reason to take me up on the offer for when you do meet her, right?”
“I’ll think about it.” A smile spread across his face.
Of course, Keith disappeared and was declared dead about a month later, meaning he never took her up on that offer.
…
“I do see.” She glared at her younger brother, her eyes narrowing. “It’s really none of your business.” She wanted to say who she chooses to be in a relationship wasn’t any of the family’s business, yet she’d brought Ryo home for the summer to meet her family, meaning she did want them to take her relationship with him seriously, not to mention Ryo wanted her family to take their relationship seriously.
Currently, she found herself leaning against the fence looking out over the farm because two of her older brothers decided to take Ryo out for some bonding and she found herself waiting for him to return, hoping her brothers returned her boyfriend in one piece – although, thinking about Ryo’s martial arts training, it might be more apt to wonder if her brothers might return in one piece.
Pushing herself away, she headed into the house hoping to avoid any more conversation on the matter. “None of my business? You purposefully brought him to the farm despite knowing I hated him.”
“Lance…”
He followed after her, heading into the house, continuing to badger her regarding the matter. “It was obvious you liked him.” She turned, glaring at him, watching his eyes narrow. “Or did you get together with him because you knew it would upset me.”
What happened next remained a blur in her mind.
“Rachel!”
Rachel’s eyes blinked, glancing down at the fist which decked her younger brother in the chin, swallowing, knowing full well she – a grown adult – shouldn’t have resorted to violence to solve the problem. She also heard the disappointment in her mother’s voice.
“Why did you…”
“Then you did get together with Keith to spite me!”
“Lance.” Her mother’s voice indicated Lance shouldn’t push his luck, yet…
“Come on! Rachel’s the one who punched me!”
“And she shouldn’t have and does owe you an apology. Don’t you dare say she didn’t have any kind of feelings for Keith! Her feelings were definitely real.”
“Fine!” Lance stood up, heading away from the front hall.
Rachel flinched upon hearing the door to Lance’s room slam. She turned towards her mother, seeing her sister-in-law nearby. “Why do I have the feeling you’re going to lay into me regarding this?”
“I don’t think I need to lecture you about knocking your brother off his feet. That’s not what I intended from you when I said you could hold your own if you needed to.”
“Well, Fine. I’ll head to…”
“Hold on. We really need to talk about…” Her mother clicked her tongue. “This boyfriend of yours.”
“He has a name you know.” Rachel glared at the two women.
“Rachel…” Her sister-in-law let out a sigh.
“What?”
“Does he know? Does he know about Keith?”
…
She went to the funeral which was meant as a private family thing with only a few people there, which disappointed her mother and everyone but Lance when Veronica told her this. Of course, a private family thing didn’t mean people outside of the family weren’t coming, just that they wanted to keep things down low.
After all, looking back, the Shirogane family didn’t want to admit Keith Kogane was actually a part of the family – not because he was seen as some kind of black sheep, although when she went, some did. It was more of the fact they didn’t want people to know the main branch of the family – it was a very big family – actually managed to lose one of the heirs for a period of time which resulted in Keith having a different last name. More specifically, there was a rift between Keith’s father – who was also Takashi Shirogane’s father and their grandfather, the family patriarch.
This made going super uncomfortable, but with Veronica, she went as Veronica had an invitation and she put a word in for Rachel as “a friend of Keith’s” which was somewhat true, yet it was a bit more than that. Keith’s real name was Akira Shirogane, a child who everyone presumed dead once before, which only dug the knife in deeper. In fact, because of this, the family didn’t invite all of the family, only those who knew. She felt stifled and found herself wandering away from the place the funeral was held, feeling everything quite unfair.
“Um…”
She’d looked up then and saw, “Keith?”
“I…” The young man – whose hair was shorter than Keith kept his seemed puzzled. “Oh. Wait. You mean Akira.”
She turned and looked back at the pond in the Japanese garden, feeling a bit irritated. “That’s not his name.”
“That’s the name I know – knew him by.” The response felt cold, at least until he said, “If you refer to him as Keith, then it means you knew him? I mean, you knew Akira right before…”
“Why are you asking that?”
“Because Akira’s my twin,” he said, making her lookup. He hesitantly held out his hand. “My name is Ryo Shirogane by the way.”
“I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t know either. The old man, he only let me come here because…” Ryo turned to the water himself. “He thinks this will finally settle my problem with not getting past what happened.”
“Is it working.”
“As if. I know he’s not dead.”
“He said the same thing about your older brother.”
“Yes, well – I knew Akira wasn’t dead, but nobody believed me.” Ryo let out a half-laugh. “I know it’s stupid. I know it’s delusional, but…”
“Why? Why give up on hope? He’s only been missing a month, but until there’s a body, there’s no reason to give up unless they’re actually dead.”
“So, how did you know him? Akira I mean?”
His calling Keith didn’t seem wrong, unlike everyone else doing so. “I was almost his girlfriend. Actually, I confessed to him, got turned down, and then promised him we’d go on a date so that…”
“So that what?”
“So that he wouldn’t mess up on his first date with a girl he liked when he finally met her.”
“You seem like a very nice person.”
“You barely know me.”
“You were nice to Akira. To me, that matters.”
…
“That’s not any of your business!” She felt her chest tightening, her mind drifting to how private of a person Ryo was, but how he’d asked her not to bring Keith up if she could help it while at the house.
“It is our business. After all, you brought Keith home last year before he…” Her mother sighed. “Keith was a rather nice young man. The fact you moved on like this…”
“Look. I know you liked him, but…”
“I can’t approve of this relationship.” Her mother turned, walking into the kitchen, indicating the subject was closed.
Rachel’s sister-in-law remained, watching the door through which Rachel’s mother headed. “Well. There. She said what we’re all thinking”
“I shouldn’t have bothered coming home.”
“Now Rachel.” Her sister-in-law let out a sigh. “Did you really think the family would ever approve of you getting into a relationship with a guy who looks so much like your dead boyfriend.”
“Except Keith wasn’t ever my boyfriend.”
“What do you mean?” Rachel’s mother spoke up from the kitchen, making Rachel let out a sigh, her own tongue clicking against the roof of her. The front door opened, making Rachel step aside so her older sister Veronica might step in. “What do you mean Keith wasn’t your boyfriend.”
“Yes,” her sister-in-law said. “Everyone except maybe Lance knew how much you liked Keith, but he wasn’t your boyfriend.”
“Look…” Rachel looked at the ground. “Keith and I…”
“I thought you told them Keith never reciprocated your feelings.” Veronica gave her a look indicating she found the conversation obviously puzzling.
“You mean you never confessed your feelings to him?” Her mother let out a sigh. “Rachel, this makes things…”
“Worse? Would telling you I did let him know how I felt only for him to say he didn’t reciprocate make you even keener on never, ever approving of my relationship with Ryo?”
“Look. Ryo may be a nice young man like Keith. I won’t deny that. I can’t deny that, what with how polite he’s been his entire visit. But I can’t approve.”
“Why ever not!”
“Because it’s not fair to Ryo, you using him as a replacement for Keith.”
“He’s not…”
“You’ve not told them?” Veronica let out a sigh. “You’ve really not told them that Ryo actually knows about – well, the whole thing between you and Keith?”
Rachel watched her mother shake her head. “Veronica. Even if that’s true, it’s still unfair to Ryo. I mean…”
“Rachel…” Veronica let out a sigh. “You’ve not told them how you and Ryo met?”
“It’s not as if it would change anything, plus you of all people should know how much of a private person Ryo is.”
“Yes. But that privacy issue,” Veronica let out a sigh. “You know it’s a cultural thing where family matters are considered private matters between the family.”
“And…”
“If this goes further…”
“Oh, it’s not going further if I can help it, Veronica. I am not…”
“Mother, stop.” Veronica let out a sigh. “They met at Keith’s funeral.”
“Veronica!” Rachel felt her throat tighten.
“They what?”
Rachel was sure her mother now disproved even more. Veronica of course continued. “And anyway, Keith’s death…”
“Veronica. Please.” Rachel’s throat tightened.
“It’s harder on Ryo than it is Rachel.”
“Because he knows the girl he likes is interested in another person,” her sister-in-law interjected.
“No. Because Ryo is Keith’s twin brother.”
“Veronica.” Rachel looked at the ground. “Look. I know some of the initial interested in Ryo was because he looked like Keith, but… I didn’t go into this without letting him know. I mean, I was upfront I was at the funeral because I had feelings for Keith, but he needed someone to talk to and – well, things happened. I can’t explain what happened. We don’t talk about Keith much, but it has nothing to do with me having fallen for Keith first. It has to do with the fact Ryo’s still struggling with his brother’s death.”
“Yes, but…”
“Ryo isn’t a replacement for Keith.” Rachel took a deep breath, her eyes looking away. A finger twisted in her hair. “And we’re in a committed relationship. We’re here because Ryo knows how I felt about Keith – that I fell for him last summer before he disappeared.”
“He’s dead.”
“That…” Rachel let out a sigh. “Please. Don’t say that in front of Ryo. I hope they’re not saying that in front of him, Just – please. It is serious, and he wants to get to know the family, particularly since Keith did spend some time here a few weeks before he disappeared, but I’d told him he’d had a good time with all of you. Well, except for Lance of course. So please…”
“I’ll try, but I can’t promise. I really liked Keith.”
“Mom.” Veronica let out a sigh. “At least be nice to Ryo because he’s Keith’s brother.”
“Oh, we’ll be nice to him. Doesn’t change my concerns that you’re…” Her mother paused. “Well, I guess time will tell on this.”
Rachel let out a sigh of relief, glad that maybe, just maybe things might turn out okay.