Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's hard enough sharing a room with someone.

Try sharing a brain with an angel who usually acts like he has a stick up his ass. Dean thought bitterly as Cas once again forced their shared eyes from checking out a camp member Katie's fine, round little booty.

Well, for the most part the two of them got along. But this was one difference that Dean couldn't stand. Cas had close to no sex drive, and was damn near asexual. It was driving Dean up the friggin' wall.

The angel observed people like an artist who would observe someone posing in the nude: highly analytical of the beauty of the human form but completely detached. He'd think to himself: This woman's body is a beautiful example of the golden ratio at work. While Dean would be thinking: DAMN, those boobs are perky. It was infruitaing as all hell for both of them.

Like this moment, for instance. Dean had been trying to check out this girl's ass for some time now and finally as she was walking by, he reached out for a friendly squeeze of it when Cas took control of his hand and jerked it away.

Dean groaned audibly and curled said hand into a fist and shoved it into his pocket, embarrassed. What the hell, dude?!

I believe if you were in her shoes, you would not appreciate that gesture very much.

It was friendly!

It was harrassment, Dean, and would be an embarrassment for me seeing that she knows that we currently share a body.

It's not harrassment, Cas, we've slept together before! It was like a "hey Katie, thanks for the great sex, let's do it again sometime!"

It was not appropriate. Cas ended their silent banter dryly.

Dean groaned loudly and rolled his eyes so hard his head came with it, as he swiveled around and went out of the dining cabin towards his own once again.

"We gotta talk." Dean said under his breath, leaves and gravel crunching underfoot as he made his way to his own cabin that he roomed with Chuck. The two hadn't really had a heart-to-heart since they'd been sharing a body.

About what?

"This...this whole you having no sex drive thing. I haven't gotten to do anything in weeks, Cas." Dean mumbled, his hands flexing into fists. He flung open his cabin door and sank onto his bed.

His mental projection of Cas materialized on Chuck's bed just across from his, sitting criss-cross and holding his ankles as he furrowed his eyebrows at Dean.

"You are my vessel now, Dean, and I..." Cas began, his eyes flicking nervously to the cabin floor.

"-It's the end of the world, Cas!" Dean huffed, interrupting him. "And we've been doing this whole 'sharing a body' thing way differently than other vessels and angels, okay, I know that. We've been doing a good job so far, I'll admit, but...dammit, man, I just need a good lay, alright?"

Cas's face flushed red with an embarrassed blush and he looked angrily at Dean. "I don't think you understand the severity of the situation we're in! We are supposed to be thinking about taking down Lucifer and be saving Sam, not thinking about...pleasures of the flesh!" He spat, almost in disgust. "Intercourse is supposed to be between two people who love each other, and you have never loved that woman!"

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. "Like you were Mr. Clean a few weeks ago, guru." He retorted.

Cas stiffened. "I was lost then." He said in a husky voice, clearly very angry he'd brought that up. He looked away and bit his lip, pausing for a second before speaking up again.

"I thought I loved them, all of them. But I confused it with my overall love for humanity. It was a mistake, Dean." There was a short silence that overtook the small cabin. Cas was working very, very hard to obscure his emotions and make sure that Dean would never guess that he was jealous.

"You know me like a brother, Cas." Dean started up again, clasping his hands together. "There's nothing I like more than pie and women. We've been awesome roomates so far, all I'm asking is for one time with a sock on the door. One time, that's it."

"I don't understand that-" Cas began, dipping into Dean's mind to obtain the information to complete the reference.

"Hey!" Dean yelped. "We have boundaries, remember?"

"I will not interfere. I will draw myself fully out of your conscious and observe other things. You will have the body to yourself." Cas sighed and Dean could practically hear his eyeroll in his voice. "I will comply with your 'sock on the door' principle."

"Awesome. Thanks, dude. I owe you one." Dean rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. "Finally I get some ass. Damn, what's a guy gotta do around here?"

Cas grudgingly let Dean do whatever he wanted the next day, getting a handful of the blonde's ass and smirking at her. Dean could practically feel Cas rolling his eyes as he asked if she'd want to spend a little time with him after dinner that night. He disregarded the angel over his shoulder (or in his brain) and slipped her a piece of paper with his cabin number on it.

Cas commented on the slight bleach stain on the left cup of Katie's black lace bra as Dean tried to get him to shut the hell up as he tried to admire the girl in the cute lingerie in front of him.

She dropped her clothes to the floor and pushed Dean down on the bed, and he fell backwards with a slight bounce as she shoved him by the middle of the chest.

That linen fabric will wrinkle very easily if she does not pick it up soon.

Angelic comments like that made the deep french kiss and pulling off his shirt just slightly less enjoyable for Dean. The girl smirked hungrily at him before crouching on top of him and pulling down his zipper.

Bye, Cas! Dean shot out, maybe a little rudely. He could feel a little bit of the angel's irritation percolate through the thin seperation, but it was only for a brief moment before Dean felt like he was by himself for the first time in weeks.

He suppressed a cry of joy at the sudden feeling of privacy and kissed the blonde with vigor, tangling his hands in her hair and savoring the moment alone in his mind.

The elation did not last very long.

Almost immediately, the angelic functions that Cas usually kept in check for him began to reveal themselves. Dean's head began to pound as more and more details began unfolding, overwhelming him with overstimulation.

He could see the molecules in this girl's hair, and suddenly it was all individual strands of keratin instead of a mass of fluff. He heard her blink as her eyelids slid wetly over her eyeballs. He saw the makeup caked on her cheeks and could count each individual powder particle settled on top of her greasy blackhead pores. Ugh.

Uh, Cas? Dean asked in embarrassment. But, there was no sign of him. Suddenly this empty feeling felt a lot less like liberation and more like loneliness.

The girl opened up her gaping maw with a loud, wet peeling sound and Dean felt his stomach turn at the cultivation of bacteria festering in her mouth, on her tongue, in the thin fuzzy outlining of whitish plaque on her teeth. God, when was the last time this girl brushed? This morning? Then, he realized where this mouth was going.

"Ah-! Oh, uh...let's um...not go there." Dean sputtered, trying to play it off as a chuckle, and the girl closed her mouth, sat up as she straddled his legs and cocked her head to the side. "What?" She asked, offended, narrowing her eyes. Dean just could tell that her voice had that slightly rough edge to it because she had had pretty severe colic as an infant.

Cas, what the shit? Dean called out, panicking. Cas was leaving him alone. He really was. He half hated him, half loved him for actually respecting his wishes. But right now, things really had to change.

Dude, come back! I can't handle your freaky mojo by myself!

Nothing. Dean looked at the girl, and could see the floaters in the orange vitreous body of her eyeballs through the not-so-black-after-all openings of her pupils. His head pounded. This was getting even worse.

"Sorry, Katie, I don't know if I can do this right now-" He forced himself to say, and her embarrassed expression nearly made Dean faint as he saw blood vessels in her face dialate and blood poured in, red and white blood cells swirled sporarically like snowflakes in a snowglobe as they were displaced into tiny spots in her cheeks.

This was what a blush was? God, whoever thought blushing was cute should see it like this. Dean felt his own face pale significantly.

Then came the wings. Dean felt them burst unexpectedly from his back with such force that the raven feathers snapped and flung directly at Katie's face. Dean saw her skin ripple as they made contact, and saw the reddish flush of blood at the sting. Her mouth was a surprised O.

"What the fuck?" She yelped, climbing off of Dean and cradeling her stinging face. Dean struggled to keep the massive things in check as they flapped drunkenly, he winced as they bumped the bedpost, feeling like hitting a funny bone but even worse.

"Katie, wait, just wait a second for Cas to come back-" He pleaded, zipping up his pants again. Cas, goddammit-!

"Forget it!" The girl spat, collected her clump of clothes in her arms and she stormed out of the cabin. The wooden door swung shut with a slight boom.

Dean groaned in annoyance and humiliation as he covered his eyes with the palm of his hand and just lay there, finally the wings settled down with a slight bristling sound and drooped like putty over the bedframe and draped to the floor.

"Cas, I'm sorry. Please just come back, man." Dean sighed, running his hand down his face. "I was a jerk, okay? I'm sorry."

Dean looked over to see Cas standing in the middle of the room, his arms limply hanging to his side as his ill-fitting sleeves hung over his hands. He stared intensely at Dean, and Dean breathed a sigh of relief as the details began to fade away and his wings stiffened, drawing together and slipping away.

"Thanks." Dean mumbled, dipping his head and staring at his hands laced together in his lap. He felt his face flushing in humiliation.

"I didn't know that this was going to happen, Dean." Cas sunk down onto the foot of the bed and similarly clasped his hands together. "Jimmy was my first vessel, and I've never done anything like this with him."

"So I'm really only your second vessel, huh?" Dean chuckled, raising his eyes to meet Castiel's. The angel was wearing a solemn expression, his eyes piercing into Dean's. He pressed his lips together and nodded just slightly.

Dean suddenly felt all his anger melt away when he realized Cas's intensions were pure. "Thanks for trying anyway." Dean grunted, wiping a hand down his face.

"I was not trying to spite you." Cas blurted, his expression extremely guilty as he dipped his head.

"I know you weren't." Dean answered, and tried to reach out and take the angel's hands, but he stopped himself. "I wish I could feel you." Dean admitted, squeezing his hands together instead. "I wonder how long it's going to be until I think of you as looking like me, you know?" He sighed and closed his eyes.

"I miss you, man. I miss your stupid little head tilts and confused glances and intense stares. I'm sorry for all those times I got mad at you for personal space." Dean perked up as he actually felt Cas's hands slip into his, he felt his calluses scrape against his and his fingers squeezed gently.

He raised his eyes to see Cas concentrating intensely.

"How are you doing this?" Dean asked in astonishment, his eyes widening.

"I'm manipulating the nerve sensors in your brain." Cas explained. Dean felt his touch starting to fade, and Cas made a sound of slight annoyance and rolled his eyes. "Don't overthink this, Dean, or your mind will begin to reject me."

"Sorry," Dean mumbled, laughing a little and squeezing his hands back. He raised his eyes and looked into his face.

"Sorry for being a jerk. I don't..." He let out a big, nervous breath. Here came the confession. "I don't really mind, uh, sharing with you."

"I know." Cas replied almost guiltily. "You have very loud thoughts sometimes."

"Huh." Dean grunted, a little embarrassed. Cas reached out and took the side of his face in one palm, his fingers slipping softly over his stubble.

"I wish you didn't carry this much guilt." Cas sighed. "You are worth much more than you think."

Dean only met his eyes for half a second before looking away, he chuckled half-heartedly and shook his head. Cas frowned and took his hand away again and tucked it into the pocket of his coat.

"You're a good roomate, Cas." Dean smiled sadly. "Thanks for not, you know, leaving me to die with a snapped neck."

"Thank you for taking me in." Cas said softly. They stared at each other in complete silence for a couple of seconds, noses pointed at each other, Dean blinking and Castiel not.

"...Maybe, you were just lonely." Cas licked his lips and spoke up.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Maybe you weren't very horny after all. Just lonely." Cas restated. "Although I don't usually have sexual desires, living in a human vessel I have experienced libido before, which I believe you call 'being horny.' It did not feel much like that. Maybe you're just..emotionally horny."

Dean laughed pretty loudly at that. "So, you mean I'm just itching for a good cuddle?"

"-And attention." Cas interjected, keeping a completely straight face and seemingly ignoring his sarcasm. "Not the kind of attention you've been getting as the camp's leader, which is all strictly business. Attention like you mean the world to them, attention like talking softly about meaningless things. That's what it seems to me like you need, Dean."

Dean flushed red and avoided the angel's eyes.

"I can provide that service." Cas said shyly. "Unlike that girl."

"So you were jealous, huh?" Dean smirked. "You never seemed like you understood the whole one night stand thing, anyway."

Cas frowned and squinted at Dean. "Don't make me rebuke my offer."

"Alright, alright." Dean mumbled, folding aside the blankets and crawling underneath. Dean patted the sheets on top of the matress and Cas hesitated before uncertainly crawling on top and laying with a good few inches between the two of them. He finally wriggled a little closer and Dean felt a soft warmth as he pieced to his side, bringing his hand up and resting it half curled into a fist on the middle of Dean's chest.

"Your heart rate is slowing already." Cas commented. "Cuddling can release anxiety. You have had quite a heavy burden, being the leader of this camp."

"Yeah." Dean mumbled, bringing his own arm around Cas's back. "I guess it's hard work. Especially that some people are a little wary of me, well, because I'm rooming with you. With angels being the bad guys nowadays and everything..."

"Yes." The angel replied. "There is that as well."

Dean closed his eyes as he felt his limbs getting heavier. Still, the two of them were long overdue for a talk like this.

"Ever think you were gonna take me as your vessel?"

"No." Cas replied. "I was about to say "never in a million years" but I believed it to be even more improbable than that."

Dean chuckled and wrapped his arm around Cas, holding him tighter. The angel shuffled slightly and his legs slipped to tangle with Dean's. They already shared a brain, so any awkwardness or discomfort of the situation was eliminated.

It was actually pretty nice, Dean found himself thinking. Then, another thought occured to him. Cas was snuggling pretty tightly to him, so why couldn't he feel anything indicating he had any kind of genitalia? Was he purposely leaving it out as he manipulated Dean's nerves or whatever?

"Don't be crude." Cas scolded slightly. "That is not my intention at the moment."

Dean full on laughed, throwing his head back into the pillows as his chest squeezed. "You're one weird dude, Cas." He joked, lightly squeezing his shoulder to show he didn't intend for it to be mean. Then, Dean began to laugh again.

"God, today was a disaster." He said aloud, picturing the odd looking bloody blush on that girl's face and the wing that whiplashed her and that O of surprise on her lips from that god-awful disgusting mouth. He laughed even harder.

"That was humiliating, a one night stand seeing my wings like that." Cas huffed. "Completely innapropriate."

"You're worried about your wings? Dude, after seeing that mouth, I don't think I can ever get a BJ again!" Dean laughed again, holding his angel close.

His muddle of emotions was confusing him; he loved him in multiple ways as he respected him as an angel, loved him like a brother but also as something more. He wished he had that clear vision again if it would give him some understanding as to what he was feeling.

"Don't overthink it." The angel mumbled very grumpily as Dean began to feel the sensation of Cas next to him fading away. Dean chuckled at how what he had said inadvertantly related to what he'd just been thinking about and he closed his eyes, just feeling his warmth.

"I'll try not to." Dean replied softly with a smile, and he ran his hand through the angel's soft hair, letting out a satisfied breath. He'd never exactly had a complete-feeling soul.

He'd never realized until Cas possessed him that it felt a lot like he was alone in this huge, empty house. Cas softly breathed next to him and pulled himself up to rest his head on his chest. Dean smiled and snaked his arm around his back, liking that Cas was extremely warm but much lighter than a real human body would be, if it wasn't just the angel manipulating his mind to think someone was there.

And that big, empty house felt just a little cozier. So yeah, he didn't really mind having a roommate.

Chapter Text

One of the things Dean really had to get used to at first was going to the bathroom.

"Don't look," He mumbled to himself in embarrassment the first time he had to take a leak after the angel had possessed him. He zipped down his pants zipper and could feel the angel's gaze burning like someone looking over his shoulder.

"Cas, I said stop looking!" Dean insisted again, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

We share a pair of eyeballs, Dean, in case you weren't aware. The inner voice in his hang was absolutely dripping with sarcasm.

"Can't you, like..I don't know, close your sight off for a second or something though?" Dean was getting flustered. And it was not helping that he really,really needed to go.

Why is this such a big issue? It's simply a human body part-

"Because..just- ugh, fine!" Dean zipped down his pants and instead intently stared at a water blotch on the ceiling, just working off the sound of it hitting the water in the bowl.

This is very unnecessary. Cas commented dryly.

"Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." Dean huffed and zipped back up.

"Hey man, you okay in there? Were you just talking to yourself?"

Dean groaned and just wanted to hide. He cleared his throat. "Ah..yeah, I'm fine!"

Way to go, Cas. Dean groaned in his own head. People don't tolerate crazy people nowadays, you know that-

You being insecure is not helping! And I'm sure your member is completely normal in length and-

"Holy sh-oh my god, shut up!" Dean felt like his face was burning red by now. 

Adjusting at first was...interesting.

Nowadays, Dean really couldn't give two craps, it just became second nature. Honestly, he didn't even think about it anymore. Him and Cas were comfortable in one body. And ever since the night they'd slipped into bed together and cuddled, Dean couldn't deny that he was feeling a pull toward the angel. And even though Castiel still kept a thin separation between the two minds, Dean could tell there was something there between them.

When a plan went south and Dean lost five good men and women in a failed raid, he couldn't stand to talk to anyone else in the small community for days. He shut himself off in his cabin, and Chuck respected his distance by staying elsewhere for a few nights. It was just Dean, well, and his mental projection of Cas. The angel gave Dean soft, comforting touches, smoothed his cheeks when tears fell (even though it did nothing to actually smear away the small droplets of water), told him that things were going to be okay. It was an accident, and he shouldn't blame himself. He was doing much better as a Leader than anyone else could have done.

And Dean felt that something for Castiel growing stronger. Cas began to appear to share the bed with him almost every night, manipulating Dean's mind to make him feel like he was there, warm and comforting. Dean slept much better when he did that for him, knowing someone else was there with him.

Little things unfolded at first; Cas strangely strengthening the veil between them when he saw Dean's body in the mirror after a shower, small droplets of water clung to the tannish skin of his shoulders, his thighs were shiny with water and the dark brown curls of hair down between his legs trailed up into a thin happy trail on his slightly soft tummy. "What'smatter, Cas?" Dean chuckled as he rubbed his hair dry with his towel. The angel didn't reply at first.

What do you mean? He asked innocently, as if nothing had ever happened, and the veil was completely back to normal.

They worked on things with a shared body, figured out the mechanics. Castiel found out a way to leave Dean's conscious alone in the body, but he'd have to keep all the angelic functions in check.

Dean finally got to masturbate for the first time in a long time, and he thought of Cas while he gritted his teeth and felt his release. He made sure to keep that memory hidden, buried deep away from the angel when he came back. Cas offered to do the same thing if he'd like to have another go at banging some girl, but Dean declined. He just wasn't really feeling it anymore, he comforted Cas, who still felt guilty over the last mishap.

It's fine.

Cas cuddled with Dean again that night, scooping him up to be the little spoon, safe and secure with his imaginary arms wrapped around his chest and his non-existent legs pushed into the gaps and tangled with Dean's. Dean was very sleepy and almost under when Cas pressed a soft kiss to the nape of his neck. Dean was too foggy-minded with sleep to feel shock. Goodnight, Dean. The angel said softly into his head. Dean felt a warmth spread like thick honey in his chest, in his stomach and across his ribs like he'd just downed a shot of vodka. He slept very, very well that night.

It had been almost a month and a half of sharing a body, and that was when the first thing appeared.

Dean, Cas pointed out, alarm ringing through his mind when he noticed something very peculiar at the toilet. Nothing really got past him, and when Dean's urine appeared tainted with red-

"It's fine. There was probably beets in something I ate, I don't know. Don't worry about it." Dean mumbled, he didn't want to get caught talking to himself in the bathroom again. Yet the angel could tell he was hiding something.

Next came the coughing.

"Just a cold." Dean dismissed it easily, covering his hand with fist and hacking.

Jimmy was never sick like this, Cas replied, his intense worry percolating through the separation and Dean could feel it.

"I'm fine, goddammit." Dean insisted. "Let's just go the dining hall. I'm starving."

The process advanced exponentially. He was coughing one day, the next he was violently sick. Dean threw up on his way to the bathroom behind a tree, stumbled and fell onto his knees in one of the stalls and retched. Yellow half-digested food floated in the water like pond scum. His head was spinning, and he rested it defeatedly on the lid with a pitiful moan.

He felt a gentle had curl over his shoulder, and softly rub his back in a circle. "Dean, I'm...I'm extremely worried about you." Cas knelt down closer and curled a comforting hand along the base of his neck, swiping his thumb gently over one of his slightly swollen lymph nodes in the back of his neck. "You're not well." 

"Cas-" Dean moaned, turning his cheek pressed to the seat to look at the angel with glassy eyes. "A little dignity, please. Just leave me be. Get out," He managed to say before coughing again, the coughs going so deep they turned into wet retches again. He was glued to one of the toilet stalls in the communal bathroom for hours, puking up his guts and his intestines writhed in pain.

While Castiel was gone, Dean noticed there was blood in his mouth after he coughed. There was blood in the toilet water, too, but he couldn't tell from which end. It could have been both. When Dean's stomach finally was settled enough to look in the mirror and splash cool water on his clammy face, that's when he noticed it.

The first sore, reddish and irritated skin that had started to peel away in a circle to reveal the tender skin underneath, like a blister that had been torn off. It was on the side of his face just above his left eyebrow.

"Oh, no." Dean felt a grip of panic seize him as his prediction had come true. He gingerly pressed the pad of his finger to the sore, and it smarted badly. "No, no, this can't be happening-" He met his panicked green eyes in the reflection. If he expelled Cas, the angel could die. Castiel was still too weak from when his own vessel had been destroyed, he was still gradually reclaiming his abilities. And if he was expelled from Dean's body, he could be brought somewhere very dangerous where the enemy angels in heaven would tear him to shreds. Dean wasn't about to let that happen.

Dean stumbled back to his cabin, feeling so emptied out he didn't think he even had enough bile in his stomach to gag out anymore.

Dean, may I-

"Cas, just give me some goddamn privacy for once, Jesus!" Dean hissed through gritted teeth as he stared at his unsteady feet crunching through the leaves. The angel respected his need for space, feeling a bit hurt that Dean would shut him out like this.

Dean crawled back into bed like a wounded animal and curled into his aching stomach. He once again felt too lonely alone in his own head. How was this going to play out? Would Dean's soul die before Cas's, leaving him the body? Or would Dean's soul expel the angel's when things got to be really bad?

What if they both died?

"Cas," Dean whispered roughly into his pillow. "Please. I need your arms around me."

The angel obliged, his soul pouring back in and filling the body once again, his arms softly wound around Dean's chest. Dean made sure to not show him his blistering face, he kept that side of his face firmly pressed to his pillow. Cas kissed the back of his neck ever-so-gently and Dean felt burning tears spring to his eyes.

"Cas?" He asked hoarsely.

"What is it?" The angel whispered back, nudging his nose just underneath Dean's jaw and planting a soft, apologetic kiss on the fever-heated skin there, overjoyed that the hardened man had actually requested for him to wrap him up in his arms for once. 

"I don't feel so good." Dean finally admitted. His head swam, and Cas felt it too. Dean heard a ringing in his ears, and Cas felt his conciousness slip deep down into blackness.

"Dean?" Cas asked, panicked. "Dean!" He was about to call for help, but of course no one else would be able to see, hear or feel him. Cas still had just one thing- Dean's body. And he needed to bring that body to the medic's cabin immediately.

Cas took over and moved his limbs, which were much too heavy. He wasn't used to being the one in complete control of Dean's body, he hadn't taken complete control of a body since Jimmy. Cas managed to drag the body to the medical cabin, throwing up a blood-and-bile mixture onto the ground in front of him around halfway there, getting a little bit of it down the front of his jacket. Oh no, he knew this was Dean's favorite jacket.

Castiel dragged himself and Dean's body up the last few steps to the medical cabin, and weakly knocked on the door, clutching at his stomach. A woman opened the door, her dark brown eyes flying wide as she saw him. "Dean-!" She close to yelped.

"Not Dean." Castiel said gruffly, leaning heavily on the railing of the steps. "He's unconcious. I brought us-um, him here."

"Come inside. I have a bed ready for you," She quickly ushered him inside, helping to hold him by the shoulders. Cas collapsed on the bed, and threw up more blood and bile onto the wood floor. Cas groaned and his head lolled back into the pillow. Even he was having a hard time with this failing body.

"Please," Cas felt a dry patch in the back of his throat, and his ribcage squeezed painfully in and out and he hacked into his fist, and he tasted iron in the back of his throat."Bring Chuck Shirley here immediately."

Dean slowly opened his eyes. He felt like absolute shit, like he'd been hit by a brick wall overnight. He looked around, squinting in the bright light, he stared at the wooden beams of an unfamiliar cabin. It was now daytime, and a damn bright day at that.

And then he noticed he was alone in his mind.

"Cas-" He croaked in a panic, and he felt someone gently push back his hair. He closed his eyes at the touch, his head lolling back into the pillow once again with a small moan.

"Cas says he's really sorry he got puke on your favorite jacket." Dean recognized Chuck's voice immediately. "He also wants to tell you that's he's okay."

"Chuck?" Dean rubbed his eye. He felt bandages all over his face, on his forehead and his temples and even one on his cheek just below his eye.

"And Castiel," Chuck said. Or it could have been Cas who said that, he couldn't quite tell.

"Cas..what happened?" He whispered hoarsely. His throat hurt like hell.

"You lost conciousness. I brought you here." Chuck said, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. "Chuck is also a vessel to a powerful angel whom I won't disclose right now. He took me in. Temporarily."

"Cas, Jesus Christ, you scared me." Dean sighed and sunk a little lower into the mattress. "Wait...Chuck, you better not be faking this."

"I'm not!" Chuck exclaimed flusteredly. Yeah, definitely Chuck. "One thing only you would know is that you named your penis Mike Hawk in the fourth grade and you still think it's one of the funniest things-" He continued. But this was definitely not Chuck speaking this time.

"Okay, okay." Dean laughed, and his laughter turned into small wheezes. "I kinda just wanted to see what you'd come up with." He licked his chapped lips and extended his hand, his palm opened, to the end of the bed. Chuck took it and squeezed softly, bringing it to his lips and giving a soft kiss to the back of it. Wait, not Chuck. Wow, now Dean could tell how people got confused when it was him and Cas in the same body.

"Haha. Sorry." Chuck laughed in embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "Cas is, uh, he's very...concerned about you." The hand in Dean's squeezed softly, seemingly not of Chuck's bumbling accord. "You scared me too, Dean." Chuck's voice grew softer, and it was getting easier for Dean to tell by now who was talking.

"These hands are too small to be Cas's," Dean croaked, a small smile making its way onto his face. "But hey, I'll pretend anyway." He mustered a smile at Chuck and Chuck's hand softly curled around his fingers.

"Whoa," Chuck breathed, his face flushing in embarrassment as he felt what the angel felt. "This is..uh, this is intense. I mean, I wrote about things but I..uh...experience is...okay, wow."

Dean still kept a small smile on his face. "Baby, stop messing with Chuck."

Chuck blushed even more, his whole face turning very red. "Dean, please. This whole sharing-a-body thing is hard enough as it is."

"Heh, heh. Sorry." Dean didn't seem so sorry at all. "So, Cas, what happened?"

"You have the capacity to house an archangel, but I believe I was using my grace too often and since I'm not your true angel and you're not my true vessel, it overwhelmed your body. I needed to be more gradual." Cas explained with a sigh, and Chuck's hand pushed through Dean's short hair. "I'm very sorry I hurt you."

"I'll be alright." Dean smiled at him. "But, you're moving back in, right roomie?"

"I can't use my powers to heal you, in case I harm Chuck's body. And if I come back into yours, I won't be able to use my powers at all. But as long as I don't use my powers, you will heal naturally." Cas replied.

"I'm fine with healing gradually." Dean smirked at him.

"You could have facial scars." Cas explained sadly.

"Hey, the Hunting business ain't about looking pretty." Dean replied. "-Just want to keep you safe, Cas."

The two men stared at each other for a little while.

"Cas, I understand you two do the whole, uh, staring thing...I mean, I wrote about it, but um..." Chuck finally broke eye contact and once again nervously scrubbed the back of his head.

"Okay, okay." Dean wheeze-laughed. "Cas?"

"Open you mouth. Dean Winchester, do you accept-"

"Yes, you dummy." Dean smiled, and opened his mouth just slightly. He could see a white glow from deep down in Chuck's throat, and then behind his teeth and leaking out between the gaps, and finally a bright white light that twisted and sailed like some kind of bioluminescent mist made its way into Dean's mouth, and instinctually he breathed in. He felt Cas back again, his warmth filling his body and soul. He closed his eyes and breathed in all the way, until the very last little tendril of grace had entered.

Hello, Dean.

Dean still kept his eyes closed, and his chest did that warmish feeling again. "Hey, buddy." He smiled.

Dean finally opened his eyes just a little and looked at Chuck.

"We don't tell people about this right?" Chuck said, a small smile on his face. "That was a little weird. To say the least."

"Sure." Dean agreed. He felt a lot better with knowing Cas was here with him once again, it put him at ease. "And Chuck...thank you."

Chuck smiled easily at him. "Of course. Glad you're alright, Dean."

"Can I ask you- who's your angel, Chuck?" Dean asked, settling down a little more on the bed.

Chuck immediately looked very uncomfortable, if not a little sad at the same time. "He didn't tell me."

"Well, why not?" Dean asked, that had surprised him. Chuck looked a little bit like a puppy who had been kicked.

"It's fine, Dean. I don't know if I really want to know." Chuck stood up from the chair at the side of the bed and patted his ankle as he swung around the side to leave. "Feel better soon, Dean. And Cas." He smiled at the two of them.

Dean waited a few days before he could get up and walk again, and head out to the food court. When he finally did, it seemed like every eye was on him. Dean felt pissed off, why were they all staring at the band-aids on his face? And he knew he looked pretty tired, but these people lived with zombies roaming the frickin' planet for God's sake! And they stared like gaping fish at him as he kept his eyes glued to the ground and made his way to the little window to get a bowl of oatmeal.

The woman who greeted him at the kitchen's face fell immediately. "What will it be this morning, sweetheart?" She asked softly. Like the people who talk in funeral parlors. Dean found it very weird. People had suffered worse injuries in the past and no one treated it like this.

"Just a small bowl of oatmeal, please." Dean asked, his voice still hoarse from the cough that was slowly going away. "Extra sugar."

"Sure thing," She smiled pitifully at him once again.

"If you could add only around half of the sugar, Dean's body needs mostly healthy things right now." Cas butted in, peeking over the counter again. Dean groaned. My insides feel like they've been on a slow roast over a hellfire for the past couple of days, Cas, I think I've earned a few more spoonfuls of sugar.

"What did you just say?" The woman looked shocked as she stopped scooping the oatmeal into the bowl mid-scoop.

"Uh, I'll just have half sugar, then." Dean repeated.

"-Is Castiel still alive?"

"Yes, I'm here." Cas once again butted in for him.

The woman sighed in relief. "There was a rumor- most of us thought you'd died! That you'd burned out Dean's body and were gone! And poor Dean looked so sad walking in here after a few days, we all thought..." She smiled at him and handed him the bowl. "It's good to see you boys are okay."

Dean took the bowl and gave her a small smile. "Thanks," He nodded at her. He had no idea everyone paid that close attention to him. It was kind of nice, knowing that everyone had been so concerned about the two of them.

Dean caught his own reflection in a piece of glass, he looked ridiculous with all those tan band-aids willy nilly all over his face. Like he'd been playing doctor with a bunch of overexcited five-year-olds with a box of bandaids. Hopefully he'd be able to take them all off soon, but he needed to keep them on for a little while as the open sores healed. He had swatches of purplish underneath his eyes and his eyes had puffy bags underneath them. Holy hell, he looked like shit.

No, you don't. Cas told him. The bandages show what you're doing for me, so I like them.

Thank you, Dean.

The biggest grin split his face as he walked back to sit down and eat his breakfast. "You're an idiot, Cas."

The collective sigh in the room was incredible. Even though everyone had been dubious at first, Dean thought they liked being reassured by having the presence of an angel in their midst. He just hoped Chuck wasn't going to be running around telling people what had happened. It would be a little weird if everyone found out that he was in love with someone he was sharing a body with.

Chapter Text

"It looks like I picked a fight with a potato peeler and the peeler won," Dean complained as he examined himself in the mirror, wincing every so often as he dabbed Neosporin onto the angry red, irritated sores that riddled his cheeks and forehead.

"I'm sorry, Dean. They should heal soon." Castiel put a hand on his shoulder, his expression immeasurably guilty. "I don't want to risk harming you further by trying to heal them."

"I know, I know." Dean's head bobbed from side to side as he agreed, he turned away from the mirror and met the angel's eyes once again.

"Everyone looks at me like I'm a frickin' national hero." He said glumly, and reached for his small first aid kit where he kept the band-aids. "I hate it."

"Because you saved an angel's life and you're housing him, even when it hurts you. People find it commendable." Cas leaned his shoulder onto a space on the wall next to the mirror.

"Yeah, well, you're not just some angel. You're Cas. Of course I'd-" Dean began, but stopped mid-sentence, shaking his head for a second. "Never mind. And it's not like- what I mean is I was dying, too. It was a mutual benefit type of thing, and they should know that."

The angel gave small smile at Dean. "Why don't you want a little recognition every once in a while?"

"It's just...it's overwhelming, I don't know. I don't like it when the focus is on me." Dean stuck the fresh bandages on one by one. He sighed when he was finished and turned to Cas. His hands were shaking, and he clasped them together to get them to stop.

"Cas, we gotta talk." He breathed. The angel sat down on the edge of Dean's bed, and tipped his head to the side.

"About what?"

"About..us. What we are." Dean explained quietly. "I.."

"I don't know either." Cas spoke up after Dean had trailed off. "Me not having a tangible vessel...that makes things a little more...complicated."

"It does, doesn't it." Dean ran his hands through his hair. "And I sure as hell am not going to be making out with Chuck anytime soon."

Cas blushed a little. "Now that's just not fair," He complained. "It was an emergency situation. Anyone else would have exploded."

Dean raised an eyebrow at that. "Exploded?!"

Cas looked thoroughly embarrassed. "Yes, that was what I just said, didn't I? Chuck is the only other person here made to be a vessel to an angel."

"So, by exploded, do you mean like, internal bleeding and something bursting, or full-on I have to powerwash the walls kind of-"

"Dean, I thought this was supposed to be a conversation about our relationship." Cas interrupted him once again, looking down in his lap and holding his hands together.

"Sorry. I got carried away." Dean chuckled. "Look, I don't know how much you can tell from me, but Cas, I...let's just say you're the one thing that keeps me happy in this more-than-shitty situation we got going on. I always sleep better when you're here with me, and..I don't know. Whatever we've got going, we'll just...build on it. Keep going. Sound good?"

Cas smiled shyly at him. "So, is it okay that I kissed you sometimes on the back of your neck when you're falling asleep?"

Dean cleared his throat. "It was..yeah, uh, they were nice." He stared down at his hands and cleared his throat before looking up once again.

The two of them stared at each other for a second, Dean blinking and Cas not. "I don't want to make this..awkward for either of us, I mean, we're stuck with each other no matter what, so.." Dean began again.

"We'll just keep going." Cas reiterated.

"Yeah." Dean coughed.

Cas smiled. "I explained to you that your thoughts are very loud sometimes, haven't I?" Dean said nothing. This might be harder than he originally thought.

"Dean- what do you think abour going to retrieve my vessel?" Cas asked. "I-I want to kiss you too. Not just reach into your mind and manipulate your nerves and pull from your memories and use that to shape the touch. I want to kiss you, actually kiss you. And maybe-"

Dean covered his face with his palms. "Let's not do the whole mind reading thing, okay?"

"Okay." Cas replied softly. He came up and touched Dean's shoulder. Dean turned to look up at him, still a little flustered. "Before we go-" Cas took his head between his hands, cupping over his ears, and softly kissed each and every little sore with soft lips. Dean could remember his mother kissing his 'booboos' when he was little, and he swore for a second it felt like her. Maybe that was Cas using his memories of her touch to make his kisses. The best part was he felt no pain- a real touch would have made it painful.

"Now you'll heal faster." Cas said softly. He had a tenderness in his expression that overwhelmed Dean a little bit.

"You're such a dork," Dean said softly, looking away. "C'mere." Dean grasped at thin air as Cas pressed his lips to his, a fleeting brush of his lips.

"You forgot to create the lapels this time." Dean pointed out, frowning. It just reminded him more and more that all of this wasn't, well, for lack of a better word, real.

"It can be hard work sometimes, Dean, I'm sorry." Cas explained, and kept his hands cradling Dean's cheeks and before moved them to his shoulders.

"The body's hungry," He commented quietly.

"Jesus, Cas, that's a really creepy way to put it." Dean snickered.

"Fine. We're hungry."

Dean gave him a look.

"...You're hungry?" Cas corrected uncertainly.

"Yeah, let's go out to the food court. And I swear to God if someone tries to talk to me abou my face again, that's not the only face they'll be concerned with..."