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“The finest cakes available to humanity? They really have no sense of modesty. Is this supposed to be impressive?”
To say that your companion was staring at the café signboard with disbelief would be an understatement. He was staring at it with wariness akin to one he wore when visiting a foreign planet – much to your despair, because this wasn’t a foreign planet, this was Earth, and your embarrassment had by now reached unbearable levels.
The muscles of your mouth were getting numb from the polite smile you’d been forcing for about half an hour now. It wasn’t directed at the grumpy Doctor; it was directed at the waiters inside and the people passing you by, because for some reason you felt responsible for neutralising the Doctor’s appalled aura.
“Uh, let’s… let’s just go in, okay?” Before anxiety could swallow you whole, you decided to take the initiative and gently pulled on the Doctor’s sleeve. “Finest or not, I am positive it will meet our standards.”
“Are you now? Your naivety never ceases to amaze me.” The Doctor straightened his back, the wariness now replaced by the usual sternness. “Well, I guess I can humour you this once. After you.”
A quiet sigh escaped your lips when your companion finally decided to follow you, though not without a snarky comment. Pretending to ignore it, you led him inside the café, towards the innermost table. He didn’t even bother glancing at the menu and only sat down, facing the wall with a retro wallpaper on it.
Luckily, there weren’t many customers to witness the Doctor’s antics. Determined not to acknowledge any of them either, you grabbed a menu of your own.
“Any preferences? As long as it’s not sweet, eh?”
“I’ll trust you with this, Y/N, just don’t pick anything ridiculous, for goodness sake.” The Doctor thrummed his fingers on the table, gaze fixed on the wallpaper as if it was the most interesting object in the premises.
“Right.” After a short moment, you called out to the waiter and placed an order – carrot cake for the Doctor and Battenberg for yourself, coupled with some good old tea. Once this task had been over and done with, you relaxed in your chair. Maybe this little escapade wouldn’t become a total disaster after all. “To think we’d end up on Earth again. It’s almost like you’re chained or something. Wherever you go, you always end up returning here,” you joked.
“What absolute twaddle. I have perfect control over my TARDIS.” The Doctor glared at you unamused, but you withstood his gaze.
“Oh come on, I’m not daft enough to believe that. Remember how we once went on holiday by mistake? I get the feeling that wasn’t the last time.”
“What did I tell you about that incident again, Y/N? We do not talk about it.”
Soon the tea and cakes had been served. Smiling to yourself, you took a sip of Earl Grey while the Doctor was visibly debating whether or not to continue his stubborn behaviour. Finally, he gave up and took a bite of his carrot cake.
“Well?” You beamed at him. “It can’t be so terrible.”
“Humans. You believe in nonsense so strongly it’s almost adorable.” The Doctor swallowed the pastry and his face was suddenly coloured with slight surprise. “I must admit this is quite delicious.”
Forcing down a pout, you jabbed at the piece of your own cake.