Work Text:
I sure love my job a lot.
Of course we do,
Kaching!
«Maybe a bit too much?» I asked the boxes, though I probably already knew the answer to that.
We need money to survive.
People who says money can’t buy happiness haven’t had enough money.
«True,» I chuckled. Though saying it made my chest sting with this very familiar pain, a pain I’d probably had for the last month. The feeling of disgust while you just want to erase yourself from the face of the earth. All because of that web-head. Thinking about him made my chest hurt again. He would absolutely hate what I was doing right now. He would call me insane and probably knock me out and tie me up and throw me into a dark hole, never able to crawl out from it.
I had to admit, this wasn’t just because of money. It was for my own cause as well. I just couldn’t handle all this bullshit, and my choice is solution would definitely end my suffering, or I really hoped it would.
This heartache, this pain, this emotional trauma caused by a four letter word, a word so strong but yet so easily said between some people. A word so powerful that it can change everything. A word said by everyone, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, cousins, friends, lovers. Love.
I just wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, just so that this pain would go away. The boxes didn’t shut up about it either. They were hysterical, and especially after I put my mind to this. It had become a chanting, as if it was a prayer for it all to end, but I knew it wasn’t that easy.
I would just have to rid myself of the problem.
Money and problem solving.
Aren’t we getting it all in one go.
I stepped up onto the heavy machinery and witnessed the beautiful but yet terrible view before me. The pit which was probably about 10 feet deep, the concrete mixer and the lifeless body tied up in the pit.
Someone had wanted him 6 feet under and here I was going 4 extra feet for them. I should demand more cash, well I had already been paid, and the price tag on that head had been high. I could buy whatever I wanted right now, without hesitation. A sweet as Ferrari, a nice boat, heck even a private jet!
We know We’re going to buy guns and Chimichangas for that.
We never buy anything cool.
«Oh fuck you, I can buy whatever I want,» I said as tried to rid the boxes out of my head for a moment, I needed at least one minutes of silence. Was that too much to ask for?
Yes
Both boxes said at the same time.
«Fuck off,» I growled, but telling them to leave never worked before and wouldn’t work today either.
I looked down again, on the view. I had butterflies in my stomach, though they were soon feeling like blades trying to cut themselves out of my guts.
I probably stood there for quite some time, just evaluating my next move, the boxes where screaming at me to do it. Do it Wade, do it! I felt sick. My stomach turmoiled and my whole body ached. Would this make everything stop? Probably not, but it was my best bet.
He wouldn’t be able to call me insane anymore, nor hurt me with his words who hurt much more than any other words. He wouldn’t be able to kiss his girlfriend in the front of me, ignoring me, as if I didn’t exist. He wouldn’t be able to rip my heart out after I poured my emotions out for him. I trusted him. Like no-one else.
Do it.
Yeah, come on!
The boxes chant and their chant is turned into hysterical screams of joy when I pull the switch. Letting the cement pour into the pit and onto the body in there. I watch as the body almost jump, but is unable to because duct tape is rough as hell. I watch him freak out, as cement is covering his legs, he’s managed to sit up, but is unable to get up and away. He looks around and up, until he sees me, then he only glare. Well I can’t see it, but I know he is. I can feel his eyes on me.
«WADE!» He shouts, his voice terrified and angry at the same time, but I only look away and flip the switch to a higher setting, making the cement pour faster.
I hear him shout in the background, but I tune him out. The boxes are going insane. Like, crazy insane. Howling, laughing, shouting and I feel I’m probably on the edge of doing the same myself, but I’m not. I would, but my heart feels heavy.
Not to mention my blurred eyesight. I was crying. Well I couldn’t say it was weird. It wasn’t every day you drowned the one you love in cement after all.
I don’t know how long I stood there behind the truck, but the shouting had stopped and since no one had pinned me to the ground and kicked the living shit out of me I could only guess he never was able to escape.
I walked around the truck to view the sight.
The entire pit was filled and the truck was still pouring. I almost stepped into the cement, but I managed to watch where I stepped before I turned off the mixer.
There was a lot of things happening inside me at this moment.
Screaming boxes, guilt, hurt, pain, suffering and plain old regret, but I knew this was for the best. It was, it truly was.
If I couldn’t have you Peter Parker, no one would.