Archive of Our Own ^beta

Mina heaved a sigh as she sat back, watching the taxi driver turn up the radio, clearly sensing Mina’s reluctance to socialise. Mina wasn’t particularly talkative at the best of times, certainly not with strangers, but with the heavy feeling in her heart and the rhythmic throbbing between her eyes, social interaction was definitely off the table for this journey. 

Her head thudded gently against the headrest and she tilted her head to stare at the trees and fields flying past the car window. Mina hoped she was making the right choice to isolate herself like this for the unforeseeable future. There was at least two months until Mina would be unable to delay comeback preparations any longer, and Mina had every intention of trying to utilise the time she had left. Nayeon’s voice sounded in her head, firmly reminding her to put herself first for once and not her fans. But Nayeon didn’t understand, she could never truly understand. 

Nayeon wasn’t an idol. 

Mina had to work tirelessly. Everything she had worked so hard for was in the palm of her hand and she would be an idiot, ungrateful, to let it slip away. She would have let down the people that loved her, her family and her fans. 

Nayeon, Jihyo, Dahyun and Tzuyu. 

All of them. 

Mina had made it where they hadn’t. Mina had had the option of trying her luck as an idol in Japan, whereas the trainees she had grown so close to throughout her time in Korea had not had that luxury. Mina had to savour her time as an idol for them and for her parents. 

Somewhere along the way, Mina had forgotten how to live her dream for herself. 

Nayeon thought that this trip to a rural farm in the middle of absolutely nowhere would allow Mina to find herself again, to feel more human inside her own skin. Mina sighed again, as if sighing could remove the weight of the world from her shoulders. She missed feeling no apprehension and being jittery with excitement, the usual feelings that should come before a getaway trip. Instead, Mina’s mind raced with the images of people somehow recognising her and shattering her attempt at a normal, peaceful few weeks. Then, the questions would come as to why she was there. Rumours would probably begin floating that she was seeing someone specific there. 

Mina could not handle a scandal right now. Even the thought made her want to claw at her eyes. 

Mina was so goddamn tired . 

Mina glanced to the rear view mirror and noticed her taxi driver’s eyes flicking periodically back to where she was. 

Mina shut her eyes, willing the world to leave her alone. 

.

Mina jerked awake to a tapping sound. She startled up, head whipping to the sound. Her taxi driver stood awkwardly outside her door, her luggage at his feet. Mina hastily unbuckled her seatbelt and got out from the car. 

“Thank you so much. Sorry about that.” Mina mumbled awkwardly, bowing low to silently apologise for not helping with her luggage at all. Mina reached into her handbag to pull out her purse. “How much do I owe you?” 

“Oh, no need to worry about that, Miss. I have your card details, so I can just take from that. Unless you wish to pay by cash or with a different card?” The man said kindly, almost as if talking to a child. 

Mina blushed. “Oh. Oh, right. Yes, of course. Well, thanks.” Mina finished lamely, entirely flustered and embarrassed at how disheveled she was. The man nodded and slipped back into his car, pulling away quickly. Mina sighed, staring at her two suitcases and the rucksack balanced on top of one of them, wishing she had a manager to carry them to the door. Mina pulled out her phone, scrolling through her messages with Nayeon to find the number of someone who lived at the farm. 

Nayeon had arranged this entire trip for Mina, so Mina intended to at least try to get the most out of it. The day had started poorly, but Mina hoped she could somehow find a way to finish it well. Mina’s plans crumbled a bit more as she cursed at the low signal. She clicked the number, her phone telling her that she had no service. She resolved to keep trying it, hoping her stubbornness would be rewarded. 

Thankfully, it was. Mina could have wept hearing the dial tone. Mina waited until she heard a voice sound on the other line, a woman’s voice. “Hello?” 

“Hello. Uh, this is the person who is meant to be staying at your farm for a while. I’m on the road with my stuff, but I don’t exactly know which building I should meet you at.” Mina explained, nudging her suitcases with her feet as she spoke so that they would be further from the road. 

“Oh, that’s fine! I can see you from my window. Just wait there, me and my friends will be there with you in a few minutes.” 

“Oh, no. That’s okay, honestly, I can come and bring my stuff to you.” Mina tried, not wanting to make these people go anymore out of their way for her and burden anyone else. 

“Don’t be silly. It’s no hassle. Be there in a few, don’t move!” Mina’s phone beeped at her as the woman hung up. Mina pulled the phone from her ear and stared at her text thread with Nayeon. She took a deep breath, promising herself that she would try to be positive on this trip. 

True to her word, three women appeared to Mina after a few minutes. Mina pulled her sunglasses from her eyes and pushed them to the top of her head just as they reached her. 

“Hi! You must be Mina.” One of the women said, extending her hand for Mina to shake. 

Mina reached to take the woman’s outstretched hand, attempting not to startle at the brightness of her mixed-purple hair and how prettily it framed her face. Mina was not expecting something so outlandish from someone living in this farm in the middle of nowhere, yet Mina could not claim to understand anything about this life. Mina had grown up with a doctor in the family, living a life of comfort, where she could always attempt to chase her dreams without fear of what could happen if they fell to pieces. 

Mina wondered if this girl had ever had a dream. 

Mina had achieved her dream, yet here she was, seeking escapism from it in a remote farm where she had made sure people would never recognise her. Why would people who worked on a farm in the middle of rural area in Korea recognise a Japanese idol? 

“My name is Jeongyeon. Nice to meet you.” The woman, Jeongyeon, broke Mina from her reverie. “This is Momo. And this one is Sana.” 

Mina’s heart dropped at their names. “Ah, you two are Japanese?” 

The orange-haired woman, Sana, nodded with a warm smile on her face. “We are! Momo and I came from Japan when we were 15. We trained for a couple of years to become idols.” Sana shrugged her shoulder with an air of nonchalance, but Mina noticed the minute dimming of her brightness. “But it didn’t work out. So we tried a new life, but stayed in Korea.” 

Mina felt her heart calm at the statement, they hadn’t been in Japan when Mina had become an idol with her debut. Mina also noted the way the blonde, Momo, stepped slightly closer to the other woman and linked her pinky with Sana’s subtly. Mina let her gaze travel to their conjoined pinkies, before returning her gaze to Sana’s face and smiling sympathetically. Mina wished she could reach out and tell Sana and Momo that she knew what it felt like to feel like your dreams were hopeless and unattainable, but she bit her tongue. Not only would it be patronising to say coming from someone who had made it as an idol, but it was also too tender of a topic for Mina to stomach at the moment. 

Running away from your reality was much harder if you discuss it with strangers. 

Sana seemed to sense that Mina had nothing to respond, so she pulled her hand gently from Momo’s and clapped her hands together excitedly, bouncing slightly on the soles of her feet. “Well, we should show you around! It’s so exciting to have people stay, especially for longer than a week or so!” 

Momo stepped forward, a shy smile on her face. “Do you want us to show you around or do you want to rest for a bit first?” 

Mina pondered the question for a moment. Her exhaustion was deep-rooted, no amount of laying on her bed would restore her energy, so she figured that it made sense to explore the farm now and show her hosts her gratitude at being allowed to stay here. Making her decision, Mina nodded her agreement. “It would be nice to be shown around. If that’s no trouble, that is.” 

Momo smiled kindly. “No problem. Let’s go!” Momo spun on her heel, waving Mina to follow her. However, as Momo reached Jeongyeon, the purple-haired woman’s arm shot across to stop Momo from walking. “Hey!” 

“Aren’t you forgetting someone, dummy?” Jeongyeon teased, shoving her shoulder in a playful manner. Momo turned to face Jeongyeon and tilted her head in confusion. “Come on, Momo!” 

“Ah! Boo! Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Jeong.” As Momo spun around, presumably to tell Mina who the aforementioned Boo was, Jeongyeon snorted and pushed her shoulder again. 

“No, not Boo! Though they are around the same size.” 

“Oh! Chaeyoungie. Okay, yeah, that makes sense too.” Momo laughed, ducking her head sheepishly. “I suppose she should be here too.” 

“Um, who are Boo and Chaeyoung?” Mina asked timidly, feeling uncomfortable to interrupt the bickering. Mina was beginning to question if this was a good idea. They all seemed very close and comfortable with each other, whereas Mina had always struggled to come out of her shell with new people. 

Besides, what did Mina have to offer them? She would have to lie about the last quarter of her life. Mina sighed, the sadness in her chest bubbling closer to the surface and becoming harder to ignore. The feeling was worsened when neither Jeongyeon or Momo seemed to hear her, merely pulling faces at each other and tickling each other under the arms. Mina crossed her arms across her chest, feeling the tips of her ears heat up. 

Thankfully, before Mina could pull into herself too deeply, Sana cleared her throat and shot Mina a smile, rolling her eyes playfully as she nodded in the direction of the two bickering beside her. Mina returned the smile, feeling grateful. The sound of Sana loudly clearing her throat drew Jeongyeon and Momo’s gazes to Sana, who nodded subtly in Mina’s direction. 

Momo looked bashful, stepping closer to Mina with an apology in her eyes. Jeongyeon looked equally as sheepish, meeting Sana’s gaze and ducking her head. Momo shook her head, “Sorry, what did you say?” 

“Ah, I asked who Boo and Chaeyoung are.” Mina said quietly, not quite having the courage to speak more than necessary. 

“Oh! Boo is my puppy–” Momo started, before being cut off. 

“He-llo, our puppy. He lives on the farm with all of us.” Jeongyeon objected pointedly. Momo whipped her head around and stuck her tongue out at her, before returning her gaze quickly back to Mina. 

“ Anyways . Chaeyoung is the other person who lives here. She’s the youngest. She also has a mind of her own, she’s lost in her own brain half of the time.” 

“Hey, do not paint a bad image of our youngest!” Jeongyeon interjected again. This time, Momo didn’t even grace Jeongyeon by turning around. 

“She probably did something cool and artsy last night and is sleeping in this morning. That girl sleeps like the dead.” Sana reasoned. “We might see her on our way around, but I don’t know when she’ll resurface, so I don’t see the sense in waiting for her.” 

“I agree.” Jeongyeon said. “But she definitely did not clean the stables like I told her to, so I’ll find her eventually.” 

“Wow, now look at who’s being mean to the youngest.” Momo said sarcastically, rolling her eyes and smiling conspiratorially at Mina.  

“Shut up, Momo-yah.” 

. 

By the time they arrived outside where Mina would call her room for the next few weeks, the sun was high in the sky and the air was thick with the afternoon sun. 

“So, here we are!” Sana’s voice hadn’t lost a flicker of brightness throughout the entire tour. Mina almost found it impossible to brood around her. The woman was a breath of fresh air, seemingly not a bad bone in her body. Part of Mina couldn’t help but be sceptical, the life of an idol had hardened Mina, made her wary of people’s true intentions. Yet, Sana didn’t know who she was, she had no reason to be nice to Mina to gain anything from her. Nayeon had already paid for the entire trip (and probably some extra knowing Nayeon’s generosity), so there was no other reason than her own goodness. 

Mina wanted to hug the woman, but knew that was way too forward, and she was nowhere near bold enough to try that with anyone on the first day of meeting. 

“Thank you, Sana-san. All of you.” Mina bowed at the three women who stood off to the side by a wooden door. As Mina straightened, she caught the tail end of Sana rolling her eyes. 

“Oh, drop the formalities! You’re one of us for the next few weeks, we don’t need this much politeness, Mina!” 

“If that’s okay with you.” Jeongyeon interjected, flashing Mina a warm smile. 

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Mina said, shrugging her shoulders, figuring she should just go along with whatever they wanted. 

“Well, we’ll leave you to freshen up. It was a long drive and you’ve had to hike around this place all day. We’ll be having some drinks by the main house to make the most of the nice weather! Feel free to join us.” Jeongyeon said, turning with a look over her shoulder. “Do you still have your keys?” 

“I think so.” Mina nodded, without checking her pockets. She wasn’t prone to losing things like that. “Thank you again for the help.” 

Jeongyeon waved her off. “No need. See you, Mina!” 

“Bye, Minari!” Sana chimed, Momo merely waving pleasantly behind her. Mina was taken aback by the nickname. She figured she should try to get used to the other woman’s friendliness. 

When they had walked further into the distance, Mina sighed, heaving her handbag from the floor onto her shoulder and dipping her hands into her pockets. She frowned, reaching to pat her back pockets. Where were they? Mina mentally cursed, remembering Jeongyeon handing them over, but struggling to recall where she’d actually put them. Mina leant her head forward to rest on the oak door with a soft thump. 

Why could life never be simple ? 

“Hi.” Mina pulled her head from the door and whipped around. She was met with a brunette woman with the front parts of her hair dyed an ashy blonde. Her shoulders were wide, but her smaller height was accentuated by the way she stood, leaning against one of the wooden pillars holding up the roof shelter with her knees bent slightly. “Are you okay?” 

“Oh. Yes, fine. I just can’t find the keys that Jeongyeon gave me.” Mina figured this must be Chaeyoung from the innocent features and small height that Momo and Jeongyeon had been laughing about on the tour of the farm. “I promise I haven’t lost them.” 

Chaeyoung snorted. “Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ve lost plenty of keys in my life.” 

Mina nodded, internally flinching slightly at the silence seeping into the moment. Thankfully, Chaeyoung seemed to recognise it too. “So, uh, you’re staying here?” 

Mina cocked an eyebrow, looking down and gazing across at where her rucksack and suitcases were at her feet, casually hefting her handbag higher on her shoulder as a silent answer. When Mina returned her eyes to Chaeyoung, the woman’s eyes darted down to the suitcases at Mina’s feet. She laughed awkwardly, reaching to scratch her head. “Maybe that was a stupid question.” 

Mina let a small smile pull her at her lips, not wanting to embarrass Chaeyoung further, but unable to fully contain how endeared she was by the smaller girl. “Maybe.” 

“I-I’m Chaeyoung.” Chaeyoung had stepped forward, thrusting a hand in Mina’s direction for her to shake. “Sorry.” 

Mina cocked her head, silently regarding her before taking Chaeyoung’s hand in her own. The woman’s hand was slightly calloused in parts and Mina briefly wondered if she played any musical instruments. Mina figured rougher hands were probably a part of living on a farm. Mina found that it wasn’t unpleasant. Their eyes met for a second too long, but Mina couldn’t quite find it in her to drag her gaze from Chaeyoung’s beautiful, rounded eyes. The cheeky part of Mina that was buried deep down wanted to see how Chaeyoung would respond to the eye contact. 

Mina’s answer was in the slight flush of Chaeyoung’s cheeks, as she ducked her head and pulled her hand from Mina’s. Lifting her head back up, Chaeyoung asked, “What’s your name?” 

Mina thought she had made the girl squirm enough. “Mina. Nice to meet you.” 

Chaeyoung nodded awkwardly, nervously fidgeting her fingers against the bottom of her shirt. “Do you want me to help move your stuff in? Oh, or maybe I can help you find the key! But I guess that would require going through your stuff, which would be invasive.” 

Mina internally smiled again at Chaeyoung as the woman cleared her throat nervously. “Could you just hold my handbag open whilst I look inside it? I don’t want to keep putting it on the floor.” 

“Yeah!” Chaeyoung blinked, perhaps startled at her own enthusiasm. “I mean, yeah, sure.” 

Mina slipped the bag off her shoulder, unzipping the middle compartment and holding it by the sides so Chaeyoung could replace her hands with her own. Their fingers brushed slightly, causing Chaeyoung to fumble slightly with the bag, mumbling a sheepish apology. Mina didn’t reply, too distracted by how nice the brief contact had felt. Somehow, being this close to a stranger who clearly had an attraction to her felt new, even though it was her entire life as an idol. Perhaps it was the way that Chaeyoung was attracted to Mina, not Myoui Mina, the sensation , that took some of the edge off. 

Regardless, being around Chaeyoung was pleasant, in a way that was different to being with Sana, Momo and Jeongyeon. 

But Mina wouldn’t delude herself and allow herself to fall into a false sense of comfort. This was temporary. Whether Mina liked it or not, the Myoui Mina that the world wanted had to return at some point. 

Mina darkened at the thought, quickly rifling through her bag to attempt to find the keys so that she could escape into her room. She felt some of the tension leave her as she felt her fingers close around the keys. She pulled them out and jangled them victoriously, zipping up her bag and receiving it back from Chaeyoung with a short ‘thank you’. 

Mina turned and inserted the key, swiftly turning it and pushing the door open with her shoulder. She heard Chaeyoung speak over her shoulder. “Do you want me to help move your stuff in?” 

“No, thank you, that’s okay.” Mina said, gazing unseeingly around her room to avoid having to face Chaeyoung. 

“Honestly, it’s no problem. I don’t mind if you want some help. Or maybe you want some food? I can bring you some. Or maybe–“ 

“Okay, okay, stop, it really is fine.” Mina replied, not unkindly, but far from gently. She turned just in time to see the frown form on Chaeyoung’s brow, her bottom lip pushing into a pout. Already, Mina figured that this woman couldn’t keep her emotions off her face, even if she tried to. She felt her heart sink slightly as Chaeyoung nodded to herself, leaning her weight as if she were contemplating leaving. 

Not that Mina could blame her. 

Mina swallowed down her guilt, clearing her throat to draw Chaeyoung’s eyes back to hers. She stopped trying to shield herself for a single moment, allowing her voice to return to its naturally softer tone. “Thank you for your kindness, Chaeyoung. It’s just been… a bit of a long day and I’d rather be alone. I-If that’s okay.” 

Chaeyoung studied her face for a moment or two. Mina tried not to flinch with how much the gaze resembled photographers sizing her up, before telling her everything that she was doing wrong. The way Chaeyoung looked at her made Mina feel seen, as if she could see right through her. But Mina didn’t feel the same unease that came from photographers or managers analysing her, for whatever reason. 

Suddenly, Chaeyoung nodded. “I get that. I like my alone time, too. Take as long as you need, don’t worry about it, sometimes existing can be exhausting.” 

Mina wasn’t sure that truer words had ever been spoken to her. She allowed a barely there laugh to leave her throat, noticing how Chaeyoung smiled at the sight of it, a deep dimple forming in her cheek. Cute , Mina noted. “You can say that again.” 

They stood for a moment, smiling at each other. Chaeyoung made no attempts to fill the silence this time. Mina cleared her throat, nodding at Chaeyoung before picking up her remaining bag and slinging it onto her other shoulder, gripping the handle of a suitcase. “I’ll see you later.” Mina said softly, even softer than her usual voice. 

“See you later, Mina.” 

.

Mina let out a loud sigh as she sunk into the cushion that she had placed on her deckchair. She quickly amended her posture, crossing one leg over her other. Mina sighed again. Habits die hard, she supposed. This week had been tiring, fulfilling, but tiring. Mina wanted nothing more than to sink into the nature around her, but the shackles of her apprehension and distrust since she had become an idol made her hesitate. 

The people she had met here had been nothing but kind and pleasant, yet Mina still couldn’t fully loosen up around them yet. It was frustrating, torturous in the worst way. She was so far from her idol life, yet it felt like the burdens of it followed her wherever she went. 

She didn’t have time to begin to brood, as Momo and Chaeyoung strolled over to her and pulled up their chairs to place them on the grass and sit on them. Momo held Boo, the puppy with the light brown fur, under one of her arms. The dog squirmed at the sight of Mina, excitedly yipping and fighting against Momo’s hold. Momo whined as the dog escaped, happily bounding over to Mina. 

“Boo-yah!” Momo protested. 

Mina grinned at the sight, forgetting herself slightly in the face of the excited puppy. It was hard to stay miserable when in the presence of animals, Mina had long discovered. Mina uncrossed her legs and scooped Boo up, depositing him gracefully on her lap, before crossing her legs again subconsciously. 

“Hi, Boo~” Mina cooed, watching the puppy grow even more excited at the sound of her high-pitched tone. Mina brought her hand up to ruffle the fur on his head, pouting her lips slightly to make a kissy face at him. 

“This is unfair.” Mina looked away from the puppy to look at Chaeyoung, still stroking Boo to appease him. “I used to be Boo’s favourite. Mina’s been here a week and he already chooses her over us!” 

“Excuse me, I have always been Boo’s favourite.” Momo chimed in, wagging her finger at Chaeyoung chidingly. 

Mina felt slightly bolder in that moment, slightly brighter than she had been for the rest of the week that she had been there. “Actually, I think Chaeyoung may have been his favourite.” 

Momo whined, staring at Mina incredulously. Mina looked at Chaeyoung, though, pleased to see the triumphant grin on her face. Mina smiled shyly in response. Chaeyoung’s grin faltered a bit, perhaps at the shock of seeing such an unbridled smile on Mina’s face, before settling into a soft, lopsided smile that made her dimple painfully evident. 

Mina slipped into her own thoughts as Chaeyoung turned to continue to bicker with Momo about the puppy’s preferences. Whilst all of them had been inviting and friendly, it was different with Chaeyoung. There was something unassuming, but intriguing about the smaller woman. She seemed to read Mina like a well-worn novel, noting when to sidle up to Mina’s side and gently ask her if she wanted to help Chaeyoung with something, just as Mina felt she was on the brink of running back home. 

Chaeyoung didn’t probe, didn’t ask searching questions. Chaeyoung existed with such ease, such freedom that her aura rubbed off on Mina too. Mina wasn’t delusional, she was sure Chaeyoung must face hardships too, but she seemed so accepting of all the world had to offer her. Whether it was good or bad. She happily showed Mina her art pieces, asking for Mina’s opinion on what they meant, smiling happily when she agreed with something Mina had said, frowning in thought when Mina said something unexpected. 

Chaeyoung’s steadily rising attraction to Mina was also amusing and quite painfully endearing. The moments where Mina noticed Chaeyoung staring at her and quickly averted her gaze when Mina met her eyes reminded Mina that Chaeyoung had a shyer side. The woman turned coy under an unwanted spotlight and Mina found that finding new ways of flustering Chaeyoung was a good distraction. Something about Chaeyoung also made Mina want to try to fight her own shyness, sometimes finding some of the confidence that she normally reserved for performing and summoning it to reveal things to Chaeyoung that she only really told her friends that she made when she was a trainee in Korea. 

Benign things, mundane things. About a book she had read on the plane once, food that she was craving, a new game that she had downloaded on her phone. Things that the media couldn’t care less about. It was energising to be able to tell these things to someone new, to not doubt their intentions, because Chaeyoung had no reason to pretend to care about the things she said. 

Momo often complained that Chaeyoung didn’t listen to what she said, but Mina had never been able to relate. It was almost like Chaeyoung knew she should take special care to listen to Mina when she spoke about these small things. Sometimes, Mina even worked herself up to saying them when the group was all gathered together. If her voice was too quiet to be heard, she knew if she turned her head, Chaeyoung would still be attentively listening to her, nodding her head encouragingly. 

Chaeyoung worked through her hot and cold moods. She took the moments that Mina felt more willing to open up and the moments where Mina closed herself off entirely equally as well in her stride, not looking offended, always offering a look of understanding. 

Mina knew Chaeyoung couldn’t truly understand, but it was nice to delude herself sometimes . 

Mina whined quietly in pain as Boo began to nibble on her fingers, clearly displeased with the amount of attention he was receiving. She began to rub his chest to make up for her inattention. She recentred herself, blinking back into the conversation. Chaeyoung was speaking. “So now I’ve lost my only scarf. I don’t want to go into the market to get another one. It’s been so hot recently, after I’ve finished working for the day, I just want to flop down.” 

“Well, you could wake up before noon for once and go before work and before it gets hot.” Momo pointed out. 

“I could. But I refuse to wake up at the same time as Mina and Jeongyeon, I’m not insane.” 

Mina took this moment to introduce herself to the conversation, noting how Chaeyoung turned to watch her intently as she shifted in her seat before speaking. “I never used to like getting up early, but in the last few years I realised that it makes for much more productive days.” Mina shrugged. “And now I quite like the feeling.” 

“As I said, at least I’m not insane.” Chaeyoung retorted, sticking her tongue out at Mina. 

“Well, at least I’m not nocturnal.” Mina teased lightly, giggling at Chaeyoung’s eye roll. “Maybe you’ll become a vampire, that’d suit you.” 

Momo snorted. “Pfft. Yeah, she’d be such a scary vampire.” Chaeyoung leant to shove her shoulder. 

Mina nodded at Momo. “You’re right. She’s too cute.” 

Mina smiled victoriously as Chaeyoung’s jaw slackened at the comment. The comment was probably the most forward thing Mina had said since her arrival, and it had had its desired effect, a pink tint spreading across Chaeyoung’s cheeks. 

“T-Thanks.” Chaeyoung spluttered inelegantly, causing Momo to coo at her and Chaeyoung to slump down in her seat petulantly as Momo reached over to pinch her cheeks. When Chaeyoung pouted at Mina, she did what felt right and winked at the girl. Chaeyoung blinked in surprise, covering her face with her hand to hide her embarrassment. 

Mina felt more content than she had in a long time. She hoped the feeling could last for a little longer. 

.

“Mina-unnie, do you want me to show you how to gather the rice again? It’s been a while since we did it last and there’s a special Chaeyoung-technique to it, you see.” Chaeyoung explained, puffing her chest out slightly, probably unconsciously. 

Mina smiled slightly. “Thank you, Chaeyoung-ah.” 

Mina caught Jeongyeon’s eye over Chaeyoung’s shoulder and bit her lip to hold back a smirk as Jeongyeon dramatically rolled her eyes and gave a sarcastic thumbs up. 

“Okay, what you’re gonna wanna do is – ” Mina was half-listening, more interested in watching Chaeyoung’s face as she spoke, occasionally flitting her eyes down to watch what Chaeyoung was doing with her hands. 

Mina wasn’t sure Chaeyoung was entirely aware of her increasing inability to form sentences with Mina around. It felt nice. Chaeyoung’s attraction didn’t feel leering or entitled. It felt innocent, genuine. Chaeyoung saw the Mina that hauled herself out of bed at 6am to begin the day before it got too hot. She saw the Mina in mud-spluttered sweatpants with her hair sticking across her forehead. She saw the Mina that didn’t put out a facade of brightness and faux confidence. 

Chaeyoung had such an innocent crush on her and it warmed Mina’s heart. 

Mina was struck again by how fond of Chaeyoung she was, too. They had an understanding that went beyond Mina’s comprehension. The way Chaeyoung viewed the world was fascinating to Mina, she was desperate to figure Chaeyoung out, as if she were one of the puzzles that Mina loved to attempt to speed-run in her spare time. Chaeyoung was somehow one of the shyest, yet most confident people Mina had ever meant. Mina didn’t understand how it was the same person who went on zealous, impassioned speeches about the freedom of artistic expression and its importance compared to the person who hid her face behind her hands when Momo jokingly told her to perform one of the songs she had been working on. 

Everything about Chaeyoung was raw and youthful, she was a breath of fresh air. 

“Did you get that?” Mina blinked herself back into this dimension, realising embarrassedly that she had zoned out staring at Chaeyoung speaking. Normally, Mina was a good listener, but Chaeyoung seemed to have made herself an exception in Mina’s brain. 

Jeongyeon snorted from her place on the bank, sitting and scrolling through her phone. “She wasn’t even listening, kiddo. Even Mina can tell that your rice gathering technique is subpar.” 

“Hey! My technique is not subpar, it’s just… Unique.” Chaeyoung protested, jutting her chin up like a defiant child in Jeongyeon’s direction. Jeongyeon grunted carelessly in response. Chaeyoung turned back to Mina expectantly. “So, do you wanna try it out?” 

“Ah. I’m not sure I’ll be too great at this.” Mina said. She felt slightly bad that she had missed the entirety of what Chaeyoung had said. 

“Okay, that’s fine! Let me show you first!” Chaeyoung said brightly, bending down to pluck some rice from the ground. Now that Chaeyoung wasn’t looking directly at her, Mina allowed herself a genuine smile, to embrace the vulnerability of this foreign feeling. 

Ease. 

.

“God, I am so tired. Why is rice picking so damn tiring?” Chaeyoung complained, using the back of the bottom of her arm to wipe the sweat from her brow. Chaeyoung squinted her eyes, trying to focus on Jeongyeon and Mina’s forms on the bank. Mina had worked for a solid hour without complaint, before going to sit on the grass with a bottle of cold water from their cooler. 

“Shut up, pipsqueak. You’re just unfit.” Jeongyeon quipped. 

“I am not unfit!” Chaeyoung protested indignantly. 

“Mina worked for about two minutes less than you and she’s just fine.” Jeongyeon gestured to Mina, who merely smiled and brushed her hair off of her shoulder in a way that should not have been so graceful. “And she’s only been here for, like, 3 weeks.” 

“Well, just because Mina is ridiculously fit, doesn’t mean that I’m not fit.” 

“Chaeyoung-ah, the quicker you accept that you’re unfit the better. At this rate, soon you’ll start losing your abs.” At that, Mina ducked her head slightly. Chaeyoung dismissed the strange gesture from Mina to respond to Jeongyeon. 

“You know what? I am not that unfit. I’ll run up this slope to prove it and beat you up, even after an hour of work, and I bet I won’t be out of breath.” Chaeyoung whined as she clunkily made her way to the slope that led to the bank that Jeongyeon was sitting on. 

“Sure thing, Chaeng.” The mud was thick, making her movements slow and heavy. Out of pure spite and determination, Chaeyoung dragged one foot from the mud and tried to take a big step up the steepness of the slope. 

Chaeyoung yelped as she felt her foot that was planted in the mud slip further into the depths of the brown sludge, her body stumbling backwards as she lost her footing as she tried to desperately scramble up the bank. She failed, her whole body falling backwards, her arms flailing wildly in a desperate attempt to salvage the situation. 

Chaeyoung felt the coldness of the mud before anything else. The feeling was jarring, a squeal erupting from her throat before she registered that that was an embarrassing reaction. She sat with her waist below the thick mud, clumps dripped off her head after the splash and her mouth wide with shock. A drip of the mud fell from her forehead into her vacant mouth, causing her to spluttered and spit out the offending substance. 

It was only then that Chaeyoung registered the breathless wheezing coming from the shore. Her head whipped towards the sound, eyes narrowing at the sight of Jeongyeon hunched over with laughter and pointing at Chaeyoung’s pitiful, mud-soiled form. At Chaeyoung’s furious gaze, Jeongyeon only seemed to laugh even harder, breathless gasps escaping the oldest girl as she failed to hide her amusement. 

A flash of blonde in the corner of her eye drew Chaeyoung’s gaze to Mina’s smaller form. Mina’s lips were drawn into a tight line, firmly pressed together to indicate that even Mina was struggling to contain her laughter at Chaeyoung’s suffering. Chaeyoung felt her cheeks begin to heat up and attempted to push the hair that had escaped from her ponytail back to occupy her flustered mind. The action reminded her of the clumps of mud in her hair, a whine falling from her lips at the stupidity of the situation as she tried to push herself to her knees.

However, the mud was thicker than Chaeyoung had credited it to be, her left hand wedging into the depths of the swamp as she struggled to her knees before flopping back down into the endless mud. Chaeyoung couldn’t help the curses falling from her lips, every inch of her skin burning with embarrassment, a direct contrast to the bitter chill of the mud that had seeped into the depth of every item of clothing she had on. 

“Oh, this is too funny!” Jeongyeon wheezed, her voice growing more distant. “I’m telling Momo!” 

Chaeyoung lifted her head slightly at the sound of giggling. Mina had her head ducked, hand covering her smile as she laughed harder than Chaeyoung had seen yet. 

Chaeyoung laid back in the mud, her energy drained and having absolutely no desire to attempt getting up to fall again. Or to face Mina. Chaeyoung sighed at the thought. Mina must have thought she was an idiot. 

And, really, was she so wrong with that assumption? 

Mina, who was so prim and proper, perfectly sculpted and composed with her gentle eyes and shy smile. Even Mina couldn’t keep her composure at how ridiculous Chaeyoung had made herself look. 

“Come on, Chaeyoung-ah. Let me help you.” Mina’s gummy smile came into her view when Chaeyoung tilted her head from the sky downwards towards Mina’s face. Mina had her hand outstretched and amusement written all over her features. It was perhaps the happiest Chaeyoung had seen the girl since she arrived. The sun was high in the sky behind Mina’s head, but Chaeyoung wasn’t sure whether Mina’s bright smile was harder to look at or the rays behind her. 

“No.” Chaeyoung affirmed petulantly, the image of Mina’s fitful giggles etched behind her eyelids, making it difficult to look the woman in the eye. Chaeyoung let her head drop dramatically back into the mud, her lips pushing to the side in a pout, her pride thoroughly wounded. 

Chaeyoung would never be able to look Mina in the eyes again. She was destined to a life of destitution and mud and embarrassing herself. Chaeyoung was halfway through pondering the practicality of moving her entire life belongings to an entirely new town three hundred miles away in a single night when the sound of a soft splash caught her attention. 

Chaeyoung’s head perked up slightly at the noise, soft sloshing sounding closer until a shadow was cast over Chaeyoung’s downtrodden form. Chaeyoung fully lifted her head at the sudden darkness, startling slightly at the sight of Mina crouching beside her. The sun redirected into Chaeyoung’s eyes, making her squint and whine again. The sound of Mina’s soft laughter filled her ears, burying deep inside Chaeyoung’s chest. 

The sound of Mina’s happiness was as satisfying as the sight of it. Chaeyoung was beginning to realise that it wasn’t so bad if it was at her own expense, so long as Mina was brighter than she was when she arrived. 

“Please, Chaeyoungie. Let me help you.” Mina’s smile was even more overwhelming up close. Chaeyoung panicked slightly at the feelings swirling through her chest, the intensity and suddenness of them making her feel even more flustered. Chaeyoung physically swallowed her own spit before she could spiral. 

She had time to assess her feelings later, right now, getting out of the mud should probably be her priority. 

.

Chaeyoung glanced to her left to study Mina’s features out of the corner of her eye. The setting of the sun caught Mina’s side profile perfectly, her nose and jawline framed by the illumination. Her eyes looked immeasurably soft, her deep shade of brown tinting lighter in the sun. She wasn’t smiling, but the serenity was  painted clearly across her face and in the slight slump of her shoulders. Where Mina normally looked like she was carrying the weight of the world, it now looked as if she were merely existing. 

Chaeyoung was glad that she had worked up the courage to ask Mina here after dinner. It was where she always came to refresh her mind and bask in the liberation of nature. Some people may say living this sort of farm life was boring, but it suited Chaeyoung just fine. She had her best friends and the serenity surrounding her enabled her creativity to flourish. Whilst Chaeyoung wanted to travel one day, perhaps soon, she thinks her heart would always wander back to this farm. Perhaps even to this very hill. 

Chaeyoung abandoned the pretence of subtlety, turning her head more fully to look at Mina. It tugged at Chaeyoung’s heart to watch the older woman look more carefree than Chaeyoung had seen her. She had watched Mina’s guarded exterior soften by the day, gradually speaking more to Chaeyoung and the others, until all of the chipping away at her walls had culminated in this moment. Perhaps that was too grandiose, too melodramatic, considering Mina was just sitting there. But the air of sadness that often accompanied Mina’s aura seemed thinner today. 

Chaeyoung was an idiot, to be falling for her like this. There was no sense in denying it, Chaeyoung would not, could not, deny herself her internal desires. A younger Chaeyoung might have doubted these feelings swirling through her chest, tried to pass them off as innocent and fleeting, but this Chaeyoung knew that she didn’t absentmindedly trace Mina’s face from memory in her art book for no reason. 

Chaeyoung had to fall for someone like Mina, who seemed hopelessly put together. Who would probably only be staying for a couple more weeks, unless she changed her mind and remained here for a bit longer. Chaeyoung shifted uncomfortably at the prospect of Mina leaving so soon. 

Whilst she was confident that she needed to tell Mina her feelings at some point, Chaeyoung was unconfident on how exactly to do that. Or how Mina would react. Cordially, pleasantly, sure. But did she return the feelings? She knew what Momo and Sana would say. They would be citing the way that Mina smiles at Chaeyoung, openly and more unrestrained than at anyone else. Yet, the tiny insecure part of Chaeyoung made her doubt her rationality, wondering if it was just wishful thinking. What would someone as put together as Mina want to do with Chaeyoung? Chaeyoung wasn’t used to the nerves that pricked her when she thought of telling Mina. She was unfamiliar with the feeling, usually rather self-assured and confident in her abilities. For as much as Mina had seemingly lowered her walls, still something remained to separate them. 

If Mina noticed her blatant staring, then she made no mention of it, which Chaeyoung was grateful for. 

Chaeyoung felt her fingers twitch with the urge to capture the moment on paper. Before her mind had caught up, she had reached to unzip her bag, the action disrupting Mina’s reverie and drawing her soft gaze upon Chaeyoung. The blonde woman tilted her head in a silent question. Chaeyoung giggled nervously, cursing her hands for their lack of cooperation. 

“Would it be okay if I drew, uh, you?” Chaeyoung asked lamely, cringing internally at the clunkiness of her phrasing. 

A small smile graced Mina’s lips. “You want to draw me?” Chaeyoung didn’t entirely trust her tongue around Mina, merely nodding her confirmation. Chaeyoung had to blink as a light dusting of pink formed on Mina’s cheeks. “O-Okay.” 

Chaeyoung was still baffled that she managed to have any visible impact on Mina. What could someone like Chaeyoung possibly have done to make someone like Mina blush? To make her stutter ? Chaeyoung didn’t believe she would be Mina’s type of person, but maybe she really couldn’t get a firm grasp on Mina’s thoughts. 

Chaeyoung hardly had time to question what the reason could be as Mina turned her body to face Chaeyoung, leaning back on her palms and turning her face towards the sunset. “Something like this?” 

Chaeyoung snorted. “I mean, you might have to sit like that for a while. Can you hold yourself like that?” 

Mina hummed in affirmation. “My job means I have pretty good upper arm strength. I have to stay fit for it.” 

Contrary to popular belief (Jeongyeon), Chaeyoung didn’t entirely have her head stuck in her own world. She was carefully attuned to other people’s emotions and energies. She had noticed that Mina was closed off with information about her personal life, with most of her stories coming from before she was around seventeen or remaining on demure topics like her interests and hobbies. Not that Chaeyoung didn’t love hearing about Mina’s endearing and sometimes nerdy endeavours, it was more that Chaeyoung didn’t have much of an idea of what Mina spent most of her life doing, only her weekends. Chaeyoung felt like she was missing something momentous and gaping from Mina’s life, but it was evident that it was off-topic. Chaeyoung was deeply intrigued, but respected Mina’s wishes. 

So, having Mina willing to provide any amount of information about her present was something Chaeyoung wouldn’t take lightly. Whilst with good intentions, this meant Chaeyoung didn’t really know how to respond to that tidbit of information. She didn’t want to reply in a way that was too invasive, or perhaps too disinterested. 

In the time Chaeyoung took to try to formulate an appropriate, completely natural-seeming response, Mina had turned  her head back to Chaeyoung and smiled softly. “Are you going to start soon?” 

“What?” Chaeyoung startled out of her thoughts. What was Mina talking about? Oh, right, the drawing. “O-Oh, yeah. Yeah. Of course. Just relax.” 

Chaeyoung brought the pencil close to her sketchpad, 

They sat for what could’ve been hours, Chaeyoung not thinking too hard about what she drew, allowing her fingers to use the pencil to trace the curves of Mina’s features and her eyes to steal glances at Mina to keep her fingers on track. A hushed quiet had fallen across the hill, both Chaeyoung and Mina willing to bask in the softness of the moment. Mina had looked away by now, the breeze gently caressing her face and blowing her blonde locks from behind her ear, which Mina quickly reached up to replace. Chaeyoung frowned, noting that Mina seemed lost in thought. 

“Chaeyoungie?” Mina broke the silence first, her tone uncertain and timid. 

“Mm?” Chaeyoung asked, non-committal, as to not scare Mina off. 

“Can I tell you something?” Mina’s voice was always quiet, but her voice was so small that Chaeyoung had to maneuver slightly to subtly shuffle closer in order to comprehend her words. 

“Of course you can, unnie.” Chaeyoung said, forcing her voice to stay steady, free from the nervousness that had fallen upon her body since the tone had sombred. 

“And you won’t judge me?” 

Chaeyoung frowned at that. “Unless you’re about to confess to a murder, I don’t think I’ll judge you. Even then, I would assume you had a perfectly valid reason, because you’re you.” Perhaps that was too honest, but it made Mina smile, so Chaeyoung couldn’t quite bring herself to feel too embarrassed. 

Mina sighed softly. “Can you lay back? I don’t think I can say it if you’re looking at me.” Mina looked at Chaeyoung expectantly, with a hint of apprehension, perhaps afraid that Chaeyoung would find the request odd, which she didn’t. As someone who often struggled to express her feelings without the guise of lyrics and a melody, without a paintbrush and paper to hide behind; she understood. With those things, Chaeyoung could always claim it was a persona, merely for the expression of good art. 

But with talking? 

That was an entirely new strain of vulnerability that Chaeyoung was not particularly adept at nor particularly comfortable with. 

With that in mind, Chaeyoung wordlessly laid back on the blanket and placed the sketchpad to the side, staring up at the clouds but not really focusing on any of them in particular. Her eyes mindlessly traced the shapes, her breath bated as she waited for Mina to speak. 

To open up to her. 

Chaeyoung saw Mina lay down beside her out of the corner of her eye. 

“I’m an idol.” Chaeyoung’s eyebrows raised to her hairline and her mouth opened and closed. That was more abrupt than she had been expecting, and it certainly was not the confession that Chaeyoung had unconsciously conjured up. Whatever Chaeyoung thought Mina was going to say, it was not that. Chaeyoung fought the urge to look at Mina, remembering Mina’s request. “In Japan. I’m, well, one of the most popular soloists. Can you get out your phone?” 

Chaeyoung made a face slightly at the request, but hummed her consent, reaching down to fish her phone from her jacket pocket. She didn’t speak, afraid to say the wrong thing and deter Mina. She waited for Mina to continue. 

“Search up Myoui Mina.” Mina said, her voice quiet. 

Chaeyoung couldn’t help but let her eyes dart to where Mina was laying. Mina laid staring straight towards the sky, her fingers plucking at the blades of grass and gently rubbing the greenery between her fingertips. Chaeyoung returned her eyes to her phone screen and let her fingers quickly type in the name that Mina had given her. 

Chaeyoung made a conscious effort to not let her mouth hang open at the images that greeted her. Mina on-stage with different hair colours to the blonde Mina that she was familiar with. Mina in form-fitting dresses (which, wow ), lips quirked up into smiles at cameras, which was a smile Chaeyoung was familiar with. It was the strained but polite smile Mina used to give Chaeyoung. She scrolled further, frowning at the sight of photos of Mina that she clearly didn’t consent to, her hand desperately trying to shield her face from the prying eyes of the cameras. There were pictures of Mina smiling, too, unrestrained and gummy, which made Chaeyoung smile unconsciously in response to the images. 

Chaeyoung locked her phone and dropped it onto her chest when Mina continued speaking. “I’m sorry for not telling you guys. For not telling you . It’s just…” Mina sighed loudly, and Chaeyoung saw her push herself up into a sitting position. Chaeyoung made no move to follow without Mina’s permission. From where she laid, she couldn’t see Mina’s face, so she studied Mina’s body language instead, figuring Mina would be okay with that as long as Chaeyoung couldn’t see her face. 

Her shoulders were hunched, an unfamiliar sight to Chaeyoung, and she was patting the grass carelessly, distractedly.

“Nayeon told me to come to this place. She didn’t give me a choice, really.” Mina laughed, but it was hollow. “She booked this for me with my managers because I think she could tell, they could all tell, that I was getting fed up with the idol life. 

“Don’t get me wrong. I love being an idol, I do, it’s what I always dreamed of. But when you’re a kid, you don’t realise how destructive the industry can be. God, I don’t even mind the hectic schedules, sure, they’re tiring, but they’re fulfilling. I just hate how fake everything is. It’s draining. No-one cares how I actually am, when they ask me questions, they already know what they want me to say. They look at me and see Myoui Mina, not Mina, not me . The media want my drama, they want headlines. No-one cares about the Lego set I spent 14 hours straight assembling that I’m very proud of, actually.” 

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Chaeyoung couldn’t suppress a smile at that. She’s glad that Mina had told her some of the things that she probably wished more people cared about, because Chaeyoung did care, she cared so much that it hurt. It was comforting to know that she knew more of Mina than most of the world did. 

“I’m sick of having to question people’s intentions. Do they want my money or do they want to get to know the real me? Do they see the Mina that I try to portray to the media or were they intrigued by the pieces of the real Mina that I show to fans? Would they like the even more real Mina that Nayeon gets to see?” 

“What keeps you going?” Mina turned to look at Chaeyoung at the abrupt question, raising an eyebrow at her. Chaeyoung had been content to listen, Mina clearly needed to vent, but she didn’t want Mina to fall too deeply into her own despair. She must have chosen this life for a reason, there had to be something to keep her passion fuelled. Chaeyoung wanted Mina to focus on that, but she was also curious to hear it. 

After a moment of contemplation, Mina hesitated, but spoke. “The fans. They got me here, after all.” 

Chaeyoung clicked her tongue in disapproval. That may have been true, but it wasn’t the entire truth. Mina wouldn’t have chased this life for fame, Chaeyoung knew her better than that. “You got yourself your success, unnie. But what else?” 

Mina glanced up to the sky, seemingly lost in thought. Chaeyoung almost thought that she wouldn’t respond, but after a moment, “Being on stage. It makes me feel free. It makes all of the rest of it worth it whilst I’m up there. But then I have to sit through seven hours of interviews, the same questions from people who don’t care about my artistic process, what it took to create my art. It makes me feel like a performing monkey.” 

“I want to hear about your artistic processes. And your lego sets.” Chaeyoung told her gently, honestly, as she sat up. 

Perhaps it was a confession in itself. 

Mina’s hesitant eyes met Chaeyoung’s gaze. Chaeyoung was reminded of the day they first met, the way they had regarded each other in that moment, sharing a moment that felt too precious for strangers. Chaeyoung didn’t waver this time, didn’t let herself escape the eye contact, no matter how overwhelming Mina’s stare was. Mina’s eyes searched her face slowly, nodding. 

Mina reached her hand out to Chaeyoung, placing it on the grass between their bodies. Chaeyoung looked down, extending her arm to place her own hand on Mina’s upturned palm, stealing her confidence to messily tangle their fingers, despite their slight distance and different heights. 

(Somehow it felt perfect anyway). 

“Chaeyoung.” Chaeyoung hummed in acknowledgement, her stare shifting from their joined hands back to Mina’s face. However, Mina didn’t speak, merely stared into Chaeyoung’s eyes with such intensity that Chaeyoung had to swallow down her nerves. “Thank you.” 

“You don’t need to thank me.” Chaeyoung told her honestly. 

“I do.” Mina insisted simply, and Chaeyoung didn’t feel the need to protest, happy to allow Mina whatever she wanted to do.

Chaeyoung felt her heart jolt as Mina’s eyes dropped unsubtly to her lips, returning back to her eyes a moment after. Chaeyoung felt as though she were watching the moment in slow motion, from eyes that weren’t her own as Mina began to slowly lean closer. All Chaeyoung could do was close her eyes and plead the universe to not allow her to burst into flames. Chaeyoung jerked backwards at the sound of a loud ringtone, some K-pop song from about ten years ago. 

“I-It’s Nayeon.” Mina explained, her phone in her free hand and an apology in her eyes as Chaeyoung’s eyes connected with hers’. 

Chaeyoung could have strangled Nayeon in that moment, regardless of the logic that Nayeon technically brought Mina to Chaeyoung. Of course the universe would put them on the hill that had the best reception on the entire farm. Chaeyoung sighed and began to retract her hand to try to shield herself from the embarrassment of the shattered moment, but Mina tightened her hold on Chaeyoung’s fingers, her eyes imploring her to stay where she was. So, instead, Chaeyoung shuffled closer, unable to deny Mina anything. 

“Take the call. I don’t mind waiting.” Chaeyoung assured Mina, hoping that the woman caught the double meaning in her words. Judging by the gummy smile that crossed Mina’s face as she swiped to answer the call, she thinks she might have. 

Chaeyoung smiled too, watching as Mina’s smile grew further when she heard Nayeon’s voice on the other line. 

Chaeyoung would wait. 

.

“I made you something.” Chaeyoung’s head perked up at the gentle lilt of Mina’s voice, something that always threatened to imminently speed up her heart rate at this point. 

Chaeyoung turned from where she was chopping extra firewood to face Mina. Mina stood with her hand behind her back and a shy smile on her face. She looked down to the axe in Chaeyoung’s hand, immediately frowning. “Isn’t it too dark to be cutting firewood? What if you hurt yourself?” 

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes playfully. “Who are you, Sana? I got this, I’ve done this plenty of times before.” Chaeyoung waved her hand carelessly, placing the axe by her feet and slipping off the thick gloves that she used for safety whilst chopping the wood, also placing those at her feet.

“Sure you have, Chaengie.” Mina teased lightly. Chaeyoung pursed her lips, rolling her eyes again for dramatic effect. 

In the few days that had passed since Mina had told Chaeyoung about the full extent of her life, it was like all of the boundaries Chaeyoung had slowly been working to lower had fallen through completely. Mina was unapologetically lighter with Chaeyoung, looking so unfettered now that her secret was out there and Chaeyoung hadn’t treated her any differently. 

It made the feelings that thrummed in Chaeyoung’s chest increasingly difficult to ignore. 

Chaeyoung pushed those thoughts away for the moment, instead focusing on cocking her head as she tried to work out what was behind Mina’s back. 

“So, what’s behind your back?” Chaeyoung asked unsubtly, immediately giving up on trying to figure it out herself, her curiosity winning out. 

Mina giggled, a sound that was becoming more and more frequent as of late. “I made you something.” 

“You said that already.” 

“I know. Shut your eyes.” 

“Why can’t you just show me what it is?” Chaeyoung whined, glancing up at Mina in her best pleading eyes. Mina merely met the gaze cooly, cocking an eyebrow and clicking her tongue. 

“If you want to know what it is, then shut your eyes.” 

“Fine.” Chaeyoung reluctantly did as she was asked, her curiosity piqued. 

Chaeyoung felt something soft being placed around her neck and then being firmly secured in place. Chaeyoung opened her eyes and stared down at the material. 

It was a red scarf. At the bottom, different designs were knitted into the material. There was a notepad, a flower and a lion’s mane. 

“You, um, mentioned that you lost your scarf the first week that I stayed here. I started knitting this for you then. Well, I always knit, I like things that require dedication and lots of concentration, but I knitted this with you in mind.” Mina explained, playing with the thread part at the bottom of the scarf and watching her hands as she did so. “I also put a few things you like on there. They’re a bit clunky, I’m sorry, I only had one chance to get that right.” 

Chaeyoung tried to listen to the words that Mina was rambling, but she was helpless to stop her eyes drifting to the way Mina’s lips formed the words instead. The moles around Mina’s lips perfectly framed them, her lips full and appealing. Chaeyoung took a deep breath. Chaeyoung knew she was about to do something ridiculously bold, but she had never operated on logic, only being driven by her heart. 

Jeongyeon called her a free spirit, for good reason. And there was no way Chaeyoung could reel herself in this time. 

Before Chaeyoung could question her own actions, her hands had shot out to grasp the lapels of Mina’s jacket and pulled her closer. Chaeyoung tilted her head and pressed her lips passionately against Mina’s, praying to every deity she could think of that she had read all of the signs correctly. Mina’s lips were as soft as Chaeyoung had thought they would be, but when Mina failed to start moving against her, Chaeyoung was startled backwards, almost tripping over herself in her haste to pull away. Chaeyoung could feel the blood thrumming in her ear drums, hardly able to think over the uneven drumming of her heart. Her lips tingled where they had touched Mina’s, but she couldn’t help but feel sick at the reminder that Mina definitely did not kiss back. 

“God, I am so sorry! Ignore that ever happened, I am a grade A idio–” Mina surged forward with such enthusiasm, tugging Chaeyoung closer by the scarf that she had wrapped around her neck, that Chaeyoung physically stumbled back, before she was steadied by Mina’s wandering hands that landed firm and grounding on her hips. 

Mina’s tongue immediately traced against Chaeyoung’s bottom lip and Chaeyoung thought she was about three seconds away from passing out as she opened her mouth to allow Mina to guide the kiss. Chaeyoung had expected Mina’s kisses to be as gentle as everything else about her, but Mina’s mouth was hot and confident, Chaeyoung’s mind trembling in order to try to keep up with what was happening. Chaeyoung felt the butterflies flutter in her chest, groaning softly into Mina’s mouth. Chaeyoung felt like she was floating, kept afloat only by Mina’s movements against her mouth. 

Chaeyoung felt the warmth of Mina’s hands abandon her hips and vaguely registered the sound of her jacket being unzipped. It was only when Mina’s hands slipped beneath her jacket to hold her closer by her waist that Chaeyoung fully registered the fact that Mina was kissing her like her life depended on it, holding her tight enough to her body that Chaeyoung was sure Mina was the only thing tethering her to the physical plane. After a few more moments, Mina drew back slowly, her chest heaving as much as Chaeyoung’s was. 

“Shut up, Chaeyoung-ah.” Mina told her breathlessly, her breath warm against Chaeyoung’s lips and her tone huskier than Chaeyoung had ever heard it. The sound of it made Chaeyoung feel that her knees were close to buckling, unable to comprehend the confidence of the Mina in front of her. The effect it had on Chaeyoung would have got Jeongyeon and Momo to bully her insufferably for the foreseeable future, if they had been here to see it. 

Chaeyoung became viscerally aware of the hands Mina had inside her jacket, gripping her firmly at the dips of her waist. Her entire body felt warm, thrumming with the adrenaline of the high that Chaeyoung was sure only Mina could provide her. Chaeyoung cleared her throat, unaware of where they should go from here. 

Before Chaeyoung could make the decision of whether to step back or not or to, more realistically, ask whether Mina would kiss her like that again, Mina’s nervous giggles sounded into the night air. “Does this mean you wouldn’t mind having an idol as a girlfriend?”

Chaeyoung knew that it was irresponsible to just say ‘yes’, considering how her mind was still reeling. There was so much that could go wrong, so much Chaeyoung didn’t understand about Mina’s world. There were more possible repercussions than either of them could possibly fathom. 

Yet, Chaeyoung had never been one to back down from a challenge, especially not one that she felt was right in her heart of hearts. 

Who would Chaeyoung be if she denied herself of what she wanted? 

So, Chaeyoung matched Mina’s gummy smile with her own grin, seeing Mina’s eyes light up even further as she noticed Chaeyoung’s smile. 

“Only if it’s you.” 

After a beat. “Does it also mean you liked the scarf?” 

Chaeyoung’s loud laugh rang around them into the night. 

.

Mina sighed, cradling the cup of tea close to her chest as she stared at the moon from where she was perched on the windowsill inside her room. Her fingers drummed against the side of the mug. Her mind was slightly too loud to sleep, no matter how persuasive Chaeyoung’s warmth in her bed was. Mina leant forward to rest her head against the cool window, her eyes darting down to watch her breath condensate in front of her. 

Mina could never have imagined what she would gain from this trip when she had slumped down in that taxi seat. She had met people here that she would be so sad to leave, but she had also met someone that she wasn’t sure she knew how to leave. Chaeyoung made her feel free, like she could just go with the wind and see what it unravelled for her. Chaeyoung had rekindled her passion, or rather reminded her that she could feel passion without stress. By seeing Chaeyoung so emphatically enamoured when she drew, whilst she wrote lyrics, whilst she made her lists of her dreams, Mina felt her own passions reignite. 

Mina didn’t want to let that go. 

Mina didn’t want to let Chaeyoung go. 

Yet, Chaeyoung wouldn’t leave this place, and Mina would never ask her to. And Mina missed being on stage, she missed being in the studio. She hadn’t picked up a pen to write in weeks , she had thought that her inspiration had run completely dry forever. 

Mina also missed her friends. The service was terrible here for the most part, making even phone calls unbearable half of the time. 

No matter what extreme Mina toyed with in her mind, it seemed to be missing something. 

“Mina?” Mina pulled her head away from the window, pushing off the windowsill to stand and face Chaeyoung where she was laying in Mina’s bed, propped up on an elbow. Mina smiled at the sight she could make out from the moonlight bathing the room, her hair was entirely unkempt, her large eyes blinking slowly at Mina and her head was cocked cutely to the side as she studied Mina. “Why are you out of bed?” The question was accompanied by a pout, her voice whiny. Mina’s smile widened. 

“I was just thinking.” Mina answered softly as she padded back over to the bed, not wanting to rouse Chaeyoung too much. But Mina should have known better than to try to keep Chaeyoung from what she wanted, as Chaeyoung rubbed aggressively at her eyes in a clear attempt to wake herself up. Chaeyoung pushed herself out of bed, stepping forward to meet Mina before she reached the bed, using her height to her advantage as she tiredly rested her head against the crook of Mina’s neck. “Go back to bed.” 

“Not without you, unnie. What are you thinking about?” Chaeyoung mumbled against Mina’s collarbone. Mina wished she could avoid the conversation until she at least had some coherent plan to fix her problems, but she knew Chaeyoung wouldn’t stop her merciless worrying until she gave her some sort of answer. Mina pushed Chaeyoung back gently by her shoulders, so that she could see Chaeyoung’s face. 

“The future.” Mina said, stroking the wayward parts of Chaeyoung’s bed head down and avoiding her eyes. 

“What about it?” 

“I don’t want to leave you. But I also can’t stay here. I- I don’t want to stay here, I need to get back to my life. My career. I don’t know what to do, because you can’t come with me either. I know you love it here, it’s perfect for you.” Mina knew she was rambling, but Chaeyoung’s features were soft when she met her eyes, and she saw nothing but patience looking back at her. She moved her hand so that she could stroke Chaeyoung’s cheek with the back of her index finger in an attempt to soothe herself. “I haven’t even got anything planned for my comeback. Even if I want to go back, I can’t go empty-handed.” 

“It’ll be okay. It’ll work out.” Chaeyoung said simply. 

Mina sighed. The answer was very Chaeyoung, and maybe she was right, but it didn’t answer any of her questions. “I know that you think everything will work out, Chaeyoung, but I don’t know how to make it work out.” 

“Why do you have to work it out alone?” Chaeyoung asked, raising an eyebrow at Mina. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I already thought about it, I wrote a plan thing in my journal.” Chaeyoung said, pulling away from Mina’s wandering hand and flicking on the desk side lamp and grabbing her journal. Chaeyoung flipped through the pages, stopping on a double spread and flipping it around to show Mina. Chaeyoung’s handwriting was scrawled messily across the page, Mina recognised it as the handwriting Chaeyoung developed when she had a ‘stroke of genius’ and had to get it all down. 

“You made a plan? But– you hate planning things.” Mina spluttered. 

“Yeah, but you like having a rough plan. So I made you one whilst you were on the phone to Nayeon earlier. You sounded a bit upset when she asked when you were coming home and I figured it might have something to do with this.” Chaeyoung shrugged her shoulders as if it were no big deal. Perhaps it wasn’t. 

Yet, to Mina, it was everything. 

Mina lived in a world where people asked how she was, but only wanted one answer. Mina smiled a small, soft smile. Chaeyoung was a wonder, she had so many layers to her personality. She was headstrong whilst remaining kind, lost in her own ideas whilst being so attuned to the people around her. 

Mina wanted to marvel at her forever. 

She leant forward to kiss Chaeyoung on the tip of her nose. Just to fluster her. Because she could. To silently thank her. Somehow, Mina knew that Chaeyoung would understand her gratitude just from that one tiny gesture. 

“What’s your plan then?” Mina asked, before Chaeyoung could lose all of her confidence in her idea. 

“I want to make this work, Mina. I know you’ll be busy, but I don’t mind coming to visit you. I want to come and see you and come to your concerts. No matter where you are. I’ve always wanted to travel anyway, the girls all know that, and they wouldn’t stop me leaving to come and see you. I asked them earlier if they’d mind me going to travel for a bit. We don’t have to tell them that I’m coming to see you if you don’t want to. And I know you’re worried about your comeback, but we can write a song together. If you put our brains together, it’ll be great. I actually already have the piano down for a song you might like.” Chaeyoung’s voice was rushed, much faster than her usual speaking pace as her index finger poked at different parts of the page as she spoke. 

Mina reached forward and gripped Chaeyoung’s wrists gently in her hands, silently halting her speech. “You would do all of this? For me?” Mina asked, awe evident in her voice. She couldn’t believe she had accidentally stumbled across someone as endearing, as wonderful and kind as Chaeyoung. 

“Of course. It’s for us. It’s for you . I really like you, Mina. So, if you want to make it work, then I’m here for the ride. You know, i-if that’s definitely what you want. Or something.” Chaeyoung’s voice was a mumble by the end of her speech, confidence quickly fading back into shyness. 

“I’ll pay for it all.” Mina insisted, noticing the part of Chaeyoung’s brainstorming that spoke about affording the journeys. 

“What? No way!” Chaeyoung protested, gawking at the suggestion. 

“Chaeyoung-ah.” Mina whined.

“I don’t want you to pay for everything! I don’t want to accidentally use you for money.” Chaeyoung explained, pouting. 

“The fact that you’re worrying about using me for money should tell you that you aren’t using me for money.” Mina reasoned, poking the tip of Chaeyoung’s nose. “You’re going to be doing all this travelling, so at least let me pay. Or else you’ll be running around for me and will be paying. There’s no balance there.” 

Chaeyoung sighed, tilting her head up petulantly. Mina let her own lower lip jut out, head canting down to look up at Chaeyoung through her eyelashes. “God, okay! Have it your way. Whatever makes you happy.” 

“You make me happy, Chaeyoungie.” Mina giggled at the red tinting Chaeyoung’s cheeks, obvious with the desk light shining. Mina plucked the notepad from Chaeyoung’s hand and tossed it so it landed neatly on the bed. Mina surged forward, wrapping her arms around Chaeyoung’s neck and pulling their temples together. Mina could feel the muscles in Chaeyoung’s face move and knew the girl was smiling too. 

“Thank you, Chaeyoungie. For everything.” 

“Anything for you, Myoui Mina.” Chaeyoung told her earnestly. 

Mina’s full name had made her flinch every time she had heard it for the past few months. 

But on Chaeyoung’s lips? 

Mina pulled her impossibly closer.