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Shuu stared up at the water damaged ceiling above him and sighed. He knew this job was important but he was so damned bored. He wasn’t even on watch duty right now, he was here as Shin’s backup for watch duty. His job was to take over the literal watching dut when Shin needed to pee, he was here as muscle if there was trouble, and, most importantly of all, he was the provider of snacks.
“You can take a break, you know,” Shin said.
Shuu tilted his chin up to look at Shin. His bestie was lounging in a sturdy wooden chair with a notepad, his phone, and a glass of water sitting next to him. “Someone’s gotta be here to take over when your butt goes numb.”
Shin snickered. “My butt is fine. Seriously, go stretch your legs or something. I’m going to throw something at you if you just keep lying there sighing.”
“Mrew?”
A familiar small fuzzy shape suddenly jumped up onto Shuu’s chest and began purring and kneading happily. Shuu winced. “Hey, Tarea, claws are sharp,” he reminded her. He carefully lifted her up, unhooking her claws from his shirt as he did so, and slowly sat up. “Are you finally ditching that grumpy warlord of darkness? I bet you are, yes, you are, because he doesn’t make you duck liver, does he?”
Tarea waved her paws happily at the word ‘liver’.
“No, that’s your Uncle Shuu, isn’t it? You know I make the yummy stuff for you, don’t you?” Shuu resolutely ignored Shin’s quiet snickers and groped instead for the all important Bag of Supplies. “You’re a smart little kitty, aren’t you? You knew I brought snackies for me and Shin, didn’t you? You even knew I brought snacks for Uncle Shin if he needs to go fuzzy and look almost as cute as you!”
Tarea was purring up a storm now, staring up at him with large, adorable eyes.
“Break time,” Shuu told Shin as he found the plastic container with some already-cooked liver in it. “I’ll be back soon.”
“There’s no hurry,” Shin said, still laughing at him.
“No one understands us, Tarea,” Shuu said, sighing as he headed for the kitchen. “Let’s go warm up some yummy kitty snacks and leave the grumpy fishy to his boring surveillance job.”
Tarea heartily agreed.
He probably gave her too much, but Tarea kept pawing at his arm every time she cleared her plate, begging for more and how could he say no to that? The Naga had set them up with a few portable batteries to use in the apartments they were borrowing for this stupid job, which meant Shuu could nuke each bit of cooked liver in the microwave, which really was sacrilege, but also a sadly necessary.
“Okay, this has to be the last piece,” he told her, just like the last three times. “I mean it this time.”
Tarea just meowed at him, eyes locked on the plate he’d just pulled out of the countertop microwave unit. She pounced happily when he set it down on the table they’d cleaned off after claiming this apartment and Shuu chuckled at her simple joy.
“You’re so lucky to be a cat,” Shuu mused, sitting down next to her. He reached out and petted her back, taking care not to mess with her steady rhythm as she devoured the liver. “You don’t have to sit and keep watch during the day for a thief that only seems to strike at night. You don’t have to worry about all this magical bullshit or all the crazy drama us humans get up to. You get to just be cute and fuzzy and eat yummy treats. Man, I’d give anything to get to be you for a little while.”
Tarea finished licking up the last bits of juice on the plate and looked at him. She licked her chops, cleaning her teeny little mouth with her raspy kitty tongue, and let out an inquiring chirp.
“What’s that?” Shuu asked, still petting her.
Tarea let out another chirp and padded up to him. She leaned forward, stretching her neck out, and booped his nose with hers.
And then the entire world changed. One moment, Shuu was looking down at Tarea. The next, he was looking at himself but in a super fucked up kind of way.
“What the hell?” Shuu tried to scream but he couldn’t speak. His body - that had to be him right there - had slumped over. His head rested on the table and for all intents and purposes, he looked like he was asleep.
The world moved suddenly and Shuu just barely caught a glimpse of small paws flitting in and out of his field of vision.
“Mreow!” Tarea declared in a triumphant voice and Shuu realized that she was sitting on top of his head. They were sitting on his head.
“Oh, fucking hell, this is some grade-A higgedy-piggedy bullshit. Tarea, did you do this to me?”
Anubisu’s cat just chirped and jumped down onto the floor without giving him any kind of clear signal one way or another. Shuu tried to make her stop, horrified at the idea of leaving his body behind, but it did no good. He either couldn’t influence her or she was somehow stronger than he was while they were like this.
“Fuuuuck. Come on, Tarea, please take me back to my body? Pretty please? I’ll give you the rest of the liver, I swear!”
Instead of listening, Tarea slipped through a small hole in the apartment door and began to run down the hallway.
“Tarea! You take me back right now!” Shuu yelled, starting to panic. All he could do was mentally cling to the strange new body he was piggy-backing in and hope he didn’t somehow get knocked out of her, too.
Okay, maybe this was one of those ‘ride-it-out’ magical bullshit things. He could do that, Shuu swore to himself. Just… as long as nothing happened to his body. Fuuuck. He hadn’t even been able to warn Shin about what had happened!
“Okay, girl, I guess I’m just here for the ride, aren’t I? What’s the plan?” Tarea let out a soft mrrmph and began to run up the stairs. The only people higher up than Shin and Shuu were Seiji and Anubisu. “So what are Seiji and Ahwoo up to? Is there something I need to see? Are they in trouble?!”
“Breep.”
“... Tarea, I don’t speak Cat, so is there any other way you can, uh, talk? To me?”
No other sounds were forthcoming and nothing in Tarea’s movements suggested she was overly concerned about anything. So maybe this wasn’t some kind of crisis for once? Instead of worrying, Shuu decided to try and concentrate on seeing through Tarea’s eyes.
The world felt huge, naturally, given that Tarea was small even for a cat. At the same time, though, it looked oddly wide, more so than he was used to, and almost everything that wasn’t right in front of them was really blurry. And the colors! They were all super muted. Which was so weird. There wasn’t a hint of red anywhere, just mostly yellow, pops of blue, and muted, brownish greens.
It was actually kind of cool seeing everything like this.
“Do you think I can do this with other animals?” Shuu wondered.
“Meh.”
“Aww, not that anyone else would be as good as you are, but sometimes you’re doing your own thing and there are some other fuzzy-butts running around. And Uncle Shin can turn into animals, so maybe I could do a ride-along with him sometime? Oh my gosh, are you training me? Is this training? Are you my sensei?” Shuu laughed and suddenly almost felt like Tarea was laughing with him. “Okay, Tarea-sensei, what are we working on today?”
Tarea leapt up onto the stair bannister and then onto the empty lip of the window in the door leading to the hallway. Then, jumping down to the floor, she trotted happily towards the apartment where Seiji and Anubisu were keeping watch.
“There you are,” Anubisu said as Tarea slipped into the unit. He and Seiji were sitting side-by-side on a couch they’d dragged in front of the window. They couldn’t see as much detail at the street level like Shin and Shuu could, but they could see more of the streets below. “Anything new in the building?”
Tarea-and-Shuu jumped into Anubisu’s lap and the small cat began to knead her paws on his leg.
Anubisu let out a frustrated sound. “I asked you to check the different floors, not go hunting.” Tarea paused, then turned around on a circle before kneading his leg again. He sighed. “She didn’t hunt, she went begging for food from Shuu.”
“Dude, you guys have a secret form of sign language? That’s so cool, Tarea-sensei!”
“It’s a safe bet, most days,” Seiji replied, sound amused. He was sitting cross legend on the couch with his feet bare.
Tarea protested as Anubisu picked her up by the nape of her neck. “You are supposed to be patrolling for threats,” he growled.
Tarea batted at his face and wow, it was super weird seeing him like this. This was officially the closest Shuu had ever been to Anubisu. He really didn’t know how he felt about that.
“Hey! Ahwoo-dude. Don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m somehow, like, also here? Just wanted to try and let you know!”
“It’s funny how you’re acting like Tarea doesn’t always do whatever she wants and that you’re somehow going to discipline her.”
“I’m trying to provide correction.”
“She’s a cat.”
“I am more than aware of that.” Anubisu set Tarea down on the back of the couch and turned around so he could flop against Seiji’s shoulder. “This is pointless. The Dokkaebi are more than capable of maintaining this surveillance.”
“You’re the one who wanted to consult with Rajura. This is his plan, if you recall.”
“It’s pointless.”
“Holy shit, preach it, man. I feel for you.”
Seiji was still sounding hella amused. “I’m going to enjoy imagining what the conversation would be like if you actually told him that.”
“You think I won’t do it,” Anubisu growled. He rotated around, ending up kneeling on his hands and knees on the couch as he glared at Seiji.
“Of course you won’t. You don’t like to rock the boat.”
“There are better things we could be doing right now.”
Seiji cocked his head to the side as he looked right back at Anubisu. “So? We’re all aware of that.”
“Umm, Seiji? This is like prodding a bear. Maybe don’t do that and end up with your head mauled?”
Anubisu leaned further forward, then shifted position so that he had one hand propped up on the arm of the couch and he could loom over Seiji.
“Fucking called it! I’m gonna miss you, Seiji.”
Seiji looked unfazed when Anubisu took hold of his chin and forced him to look up at him.
“I think you’re trying to pick a fight,” Anubisu drawled.
Seiji smirked. “And to what benefit would that be for me?”
“Uh, guys? Starting to pick up on some… different vibes here. Maybe we should all be focusing on the surveillance plan? Guys? Dudes? Tarea-sensei, maybe we should leave?”
“I think you know exactly what could happen.”
“I think you’re more talk than game.”
“Oh, fuck, no! Tarea, leave. Leave, right fucking now!”
He couldn’t close his eyes, Shuu realized with horror. Anubisu had met Seiji’s challenge head-on. By kissing him. Hard. And Tarea wouldn’t stop watching them. (And yes, he could see that the movement was very interesting and different from all the bugs and tiny critters they’d passed in the stairwell, but still!) Tarea was watching Seiji and Anubisu make out like a pair of fucking teenagers!
Who the hell had thought it was a good idea to let the couples be on watch together, anyways?!
Poor Shuten. Nasutei probably had him literally tied up by now, did she? She’d definitely had enough time and she was so done with worrying about him. Peace out, dude. Just stop fighting and give the lady what you both want. Everyone will be happier for it.
Anubisu let go of Seiji’s chin and instead used that hand to cradle the back of Seiji’s head as his mouth moved slowly and intently over Seiji’s. And man, Seiji was super into this and that was weird because Shuu had only ever seen Seiji freak out at the thought to romance (and sex) before.
L
More importantly, though...
“When the fuck did this start? The hell, Seiji? How dare you keep secrets from us!”
Because this wasn’t new. Anubisu and Seiji were so fucking relaxed as they made out that this couldn’t be the first time they’d smacked lips. If anything, this had to be something they did on a semi-regular basis because there was no other way Seiji would be content to let Anubisu push him down onto the couch and climb more on top of him.
“Okay, this is getting kind of intense, guys. Tarea-sensei, stop perving on them! It’s not okay. And fuck, we are supposed to all be working right now. Where’s your work ethic, Seiji? I can tell you where it’s not: in Anubisu’s pants!”
Hands were starting to go places and Shuu was done. Absolutely, completely done.
“I love you, Tarea, but I am not watching these guys bone, alright? Thanks for the lesson, sensei. Peace out.”
Shuu concentrated as hard as he could, imagining he was climbing up and out of a soft, comfortable armchair. He pictured a dark red chair with thin golden chevron chains stitched across it. The fabric was worn under his hands, scratched from years of kids and animals playing on it. His knees bent at the edge of the cushion and there was a bit of a gap behind him that made him slouch against the soft chair back.
He pressed his metaphorical hands to the armrests and flexed invisible muscles as he slowly-
stood-
up-
Shuu’s body jerked upright and he gasped. “Of, fuck, it worked.” He groped at himself, relieved to feel the familiar tightness of a too-small shirt squeezing his shoulders and his silky smooth, yet strong, custom-made pants. “Yes! Three cheers for not having to watch Seiji and Anubisu get it on!”
He really hadn’t wanted to see that. Ah well. He’d gotten out as soon as he could, so it really wasn’t much worse than some of the couples from high school he’s known that had kept being busted for too much PDA.
Standing up, Shuu jumped experimentally a few times and was glad that everything felt like it was working properly.
“Oh, man, I can’t wait to tell Shin about all of this,” Shuu chortled. “I know your secret now, Seiji! You are totally busted.”
Upstairs, Tarea let out a satisfied meep and jumped over the men tangled together on the couch to sit in the window. The sunbeam there was calling her name.