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On days when she misses him so much it feels like Lucifer isn’t the only one who's been sent to Hell, Chloe tries to lessen the pain by making a list of all the logistical complications that would come with a relationship with the devil.
Would he be able to be a one-woman devil? Lucifer's made it clear on any number of occasions that self-control isn't a high priority for him. He sees. He wants. He does. And someday maybe Chloe will be okay with him going back to his sex parties (she highly doubts it, but maybe), but right now the thought makes her burn with jealousy.
Would he stop doing quite so many drugs? Or at least would he stop being quite so open about it at the precinct? She knows he can get away with it. He’s never said anything, but Chloe is pretty sure that at least half of LAPD brass owes Lucifer a favor. She knows it won't kill him - or actually, will it? He can bleed when she's close. Could he overdose? Would he disappear and leave her behind while he got high so that she wouldn’t affect him? Could she really handle that? Would she rather he be high around her?
And that led to the next problem. Would he even try to keep his, for lack of a better term, wild side from Trixie? Trixie had seen a lot of weird shit for a kid her age. After all, Maze had lived with them and she was definitionally no saint. But would Trixie be able to understand the nuances of Lucifer? That Lucifer might do drugs casually but he was different and not an example for Trixie or any of Trixie's potential future partners. That he was...different.
Oh God, should she tell Trixie the truth about Lucifer?
That's another thing to add to the list - she's definitely going to need to train herself out of saying "oh God" in bed. She can't imagine that invoking his Father's name will go over well, given his usual reaction. He'd probably enjoy "oh my Devil." Maybe a little too much. She could just picture him having it printed on a comforter cover displayed prominently in his bedroom. Maybe some tasteful full-color posters in his signature devil red.
Could she deal with all the complications that would come with dating the literal devil? Would it even really be dating, exactly? Or would it just be the way they were before, but with sex added into the equation? Chloe meant it when she said she loved him. She wants him as her partner, both at work and in life. She wants more nights with them as some kind of family, playing Monopoly with Trixie. Partying the night away at Lux sounds fun once in awhile, but she also wants calm nights where they can relax together and enjoy a private, romantic dinner. She doesn't expect him to completely stop holding court in Lux, but would it be every night the way it has been? Would marriage be on the table? Does she want marriage to be on the table? Could celestial beings even do something so human as getting married?
What would a long term relationship between them look like? She assumes he'll stay looking the same for eternity because, well, celestial being. But she'll age, like the mortal she is. What will happen down the road? Will Lucifer still want to be with her when she's gray and retired and he looks like he's Trixie's age instead of hers? That one makes her frown too. Technically he isn't her age either. He's older than humanity itself and no matter how old and gray she gets, he'll always have multiple millenia on her.
She recites the list to herself over and over, like some sort of prayer. If she can just focus on the list, she can make it through until the pain subsides enough for her to function again. She has a thousand questions and zero answers.
It’s not a perfect solution. Despite every single complication she can come up with, there are days when her heart aches for him so badly that she lets herself into the penthouse, puts on one of his dress shirts to surround herself with his unnaturally intoxicating scent, then crawls into his bed and gets the closest thing to a decent night's sleep that she can.
When her body aches for him to show her the kind of pleasure he had once promised, she tries closing her eyes and picturing him while she brings herself to (an admittedly lackluster) orgasm. It's a poor woman's substitute, like old grape juice instead of fine wine. She wonders if he'll ever be back, even just for a day. Could she live with one day? Could she pack enough into a single day to last her a lifetime, if that's was she can have?
And then, suddenly she no longer has to play the obstacles game. Because he’s standing right in front of her. She is flooded with emotion - love, lust, and relief all mixing together in the pit of her stomach. But something doesn’t seem right. He doesn't seem like...her Lucifer. When she says something, he tells her that his time in Hell changed him. For her it had been six months, for him it had been hundreds of years. But she can’t shake the nagging suspicion that this Lucifer is wrong. He’s just a little colder, a little more studied than the Lucifer she fell in love with.
She tells herself it will be less wrong when it was just the two of them. She tells him that she'll come over to his place that night so they can have a proper reunion. Chloe throws her arms around him and buries her head in his shoulder. Lucifer pats her back in comfort, but it's awkward. Like he's not sure what to do but he knows this definitely isn't right.
It turns out that Chloe's right and this isn't her Lucifer. The Lucifer doppelganger is actually his twin brother, Michael.
As promised, she shows up at the apartment later that evening. When the elevator doors part, Chloe is shocked at the scene in front of her. She's expecting to find an expertly prepared dinner or maybe a glass of red wine from Lucifer's seemingly endless collection. But instead half his furniture is smashed and he's and Amenadiel are standing over their very passed out brother, debating what to do with him. At this point, really, she should stop being surprised by the swirling mass of chaos that seemed to follow Lucifer wherever he goes. As soon as Lucifer and Amenadiel see her, they stop arguing. With a knowing look, Amenadiel says that he will return Michael to the Silver City. In the blink of an eye, the room is empty except for her and her devil.
It only takes one look for Chloe to know that this is her Lucifer. She feels her body pulling towards his, like magnets snapping together. This time when they kiss, it feels like time itself has stopped. Actually, come to think of it, that might be technically possible, if Amenadiel was able.
The darkness of night is giving way to the first streaks of dawn by the time Chloe's body is too worn out for even one more orgasm. Lucifer, of course, could have kept going, but ever skilled at reading mortal desires, he instead pulls her close, spooning her against his long frame and pressing his lips against her neck, as if to reassure himself that she's actually real.
Chloe knows that the list hasn't gone away. The complications will be there waiting when she wakes up again. But for the moment, she can't bring herself to give one single, solitary shit. A thousand obstacles can't outweigh the benefit - Lucifer. For the moment, she is wrapped in her devil's arms and everything is perfect.