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Taehyung thinks he will never not be amazed by the surprised expressions on the faces of younger versions of him and Jimin whenever they see them kiss. Well, not always. There were times when Taehyung and Jimin from the past would visit them and what they saw was reassuring and comforting – to know they’ve made it together.
This time around, Taehyung and Jimin from 2014 are sitting in Taehyung’s apartment looking like they’re afraid they might break something. Which they probably are, because this place is way more luxurious than anything they’ve seen, despite its minimal design.
Other than that both of them seem to be fixating on Jimin’s bare thighs thrown over Taehyung’s legs, which is completely understandable.
Taehyung wants to coo at them because of how cute they look. The younger Jimin still has his black hair and Taehyung has that silly shade of orange. They look too big for their bodies, not quite sure what to do with themselves.
“So, we’re together?” the past Taehyung asks slowly.
The present Jimin smiles and combs through present Taehyung’s hair. “Yes sweetie, we are.”
“Hmm. Interesting.” The past Taehyung says, all smug and proud of himself which is again very understandable – the present Taehyung feels the same about having Jimin as his boyfriend.
What he doesn’t like very much is the way the past Taehyung gives the past Jimin a side eye. He knows what that is about, of course, but it’s always difficult to have these episodes because he feels like he’s going through a fight with Jimin years old again.
The past Jimin doesn’t say anything, just sits on the sofa and keeps his hands between his thighs, looking down.
The present Taehyung and Jimin exchange a look and nod at each other, Jimin slowly getting up and stretching his hand towards his past version. “How about I give you a tour of the house, hm?”
The past Jimin nods wordlessly and gets up, the two of them walking away and leaving both Taehyungs to stare at them as they disappear out of the living room.
“We’re with Jimin now?” the past Taehyung asks again, with more hope and happiness in his eyes than before.
“We are, buddy.” He answers him with a small smile.
“How is that working out for us?”
“It’s perfect actually. We figured everything out together.”
The past Taehyung sighs deeply and throws himself backwards, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. “I wish I could fast forward to today then.”
“You gotta remember that all we have now is because we managed to make up every time we got into a fight during all these years.”
“I know, I know, I’m aware. It’s just that— He just drives me crazy.”
The present Taehyung giggles and nods, folding his legs under himself and propping his elbow on the rest behind him, playing with his curls. “Yes, he does. That part doesn’t really stop, to be honest. But don’t you think it goes both ways?”
“It probably does, but I’m right so it’s justified from my part.”
He remembers those days. Both him and Jimin were very stubborn. Well, they still are, but now they use it for better causes than getting into petty fights that almost end with ripping each other’s heads off. Still, he understands how past Taehyung feels. It’s one of their biggest problems, the hardest obstacle they had to overcome in order for their relationship to work out.
“Taehyung-ah.” He starts slowly, carefully. “I know you don’t like people telling you what to do, but technically I’m not people, I’m you – just a few years older. I think that qualifies me as a good person to give you advice, especially if it’s about Jimin – don’t you agree?”
The past Taehyung sighs again and turns on his side, facing Taehyung from the other end of the sofa. He looks up and says. “I know all of that. And I know we have to talk better, but he makes me so mad! Like, I know you’re gay Jimin, why can’t you just admit it to yourself? It’s not like anyone would judge him – I’m gay, Yoongi-hyung is gay. I don’t get what the big deal is, that’s all.”
“Yes, I understand why you think so but you need to take it slow with Jimin. He’s scared. It’s not easy for everyone like it is for you or Yoongi-hyung. He just needs some time to accept it and come to terms with it. But he needs to do that on his own, okay? Which doesn’t mean you should leave him alone but if you keep forcing him, it won’t do any good, trust me. You like Jiminie, right?”
The young boy has a light in his eyes and Taehyung is very happy because that light never disappeared to this day. “Of course I do. He’s my soulmate.” He answers easily.
“Exactly because of that you need to think before you speak. I’m not attacking you, this goes for both of you. It’s something you will struggle with a lot, but it’s okay because you have each other. Jimin is gay, that’s true. But if he can’t admit it to himself just yet, you can’t make him. And you shouldn’t try, okay?”
“It’s just that we kissed and— Well, it was more than just a kiss, we made out a few times and— Wait, why am I telling you this? You already know. You lived all of it.”
The present Taehyung laughs. “I did, but it’s okay if you wanna talk to someone about it, buddy.”
He knows he didn’t have anyone to share his troubling thoughts back then. He didn’t wanna tell anyone because he didn’t want to out Jimin. He didn’t want to make him sad and he definitely didn’t want to fight more.
“It makes me feel like he doesn’t care about what we did together as much as I do, you know?” the past Taehyung admits. “I know it’s his thing and I don’t want to make it about me, I understand if he doesn’t wanna tell the hyungs or anyone else but it makes me sad. Because what we did was everything to me and I want to be with him. So why can’t he just say it out loud to me, at least? He trusts me the most, doesn’t he?”
“He does, but it’s not about the trust between you two. He’s simply not ready for it yet. I know it’s hard but believe me, those moments meant to Jimin just as much as they did to you, even if he’s not telling you right now. Even if he dismisses it after it happens. If you fight him on this, it won’t do good to either of you. All Jimin needs right now is your patience and support. I know it hurts and I know you can’t understand it because of how confident you are with your sexuality, but at least try to. For him.”
“Can I ask a question?”
“Yes.”
“It’s worth it, right? I mean you said fucked up communication will be a problem for us even in the future. I assume we’ll fight a lot. But you’re with him now and. It’s worth it?”
The present Taehyung smiles and leans forward, placing his hand on his knee and looking at the past Taehyung’s eyes. “Jiminie is an angel on Earth, honey. You two are going to go through a lot but you will make it. And it’s beyond worth it, trust me. Just a little patience right now and a lot of hard work, but it’s. It’s everything we ever dreamed of, I promise you.”
Taehyung remembers himself back then. He was sure Jimin is the one he’s gonna grow old with. No doubt about that in his mind. Of course, he couldn’t say that to Jimin right away, it would freak him out. But still, he remembers. He knows how the past Taehyung feels now.
Besides, he never lost his fate, which means they’ll make it.
-
At the same time, Jimin is sitting with his past self in Taehyung’s bedroom.
“I know what you’re thinking.” He says with a smile.
The past Jimin looks up, as if he’s embarrassed. “I’m not thinking anything bad.”
“Do you like how I look?”
“I do. Your hair is nice. Do we dye it a lot?”
The present Jimin snorts and covers up his mouth with his hand. “You wouldn’t believe how much. Last year I had to pause a little because it was so damaged. But I like this color now.” He goes through his pink hair.
“That’s nice. Where are the hyungs?”
“Sweetheart, this is Taehyungie’s apartment.”
“Do we all have our own apartments now?” the past Jimin asks, his eyes wide and mouth forming a cute o shape.
“We do. But we still spend most of the time all together. Sometimes we get away. If we want to be alone.”
Jimin enjoys flustering men but he thinks he shouldn’t enjoy it this much when it’s his past self in question. The young boy in front of him seems to realize the implication and his adorable cheeks blush. “Oh. Can I ask something… About that?”
“Of course.”
“When you two— When you sleep together, how do you decide who—“
The present Jimin smiles again and shakes his head fondly. “We switch. Believe me, it’s much less of a deal than we thought it is. And I promise you, we enjoy it either way.”
“Doesn’t it hurt tho? If you’re the one taking it?”
“It does. A little. First few times.” The present Jimin thinks about telling an 18 year old version of himself about how he’s a pro at taking Taehyung’s huge cock, but he doesn’t really want to give him a heart attack. He remembers himself from back then. “But it’s good. Taehyungie won’t hurt you, you can trust him.”
The past Jimin seems to realize that goes for all aspects of their lives and not just sex. He nods. He looks so small, with his shoulders bent forward, sitting on Taehyung’s huge bed next to the present Jimin. Jimin is aware that under all that posturing he does and confidence on stage, there’s a lot of insecurity and uncertainty. And maybe something that past Jimin would never admit the most – sensitivity.
“I trust him. He can sometimes be a little too much, that’s all.”
“I know, baby.” The present Jimin reaches out and places his hand over past Jimin’s one, threading their fingers together. “Jiminie, I want you to know that I’m very proud of you. You are doing great. Everyone is proud of you, okay? You just need to be a little bit easier on yourself.”
The past Jimin keeps his gaze pointed at his lap, staring at their linked hands. He uses his free hand to comb through his hair and take a deep breath. “Thanks.”
“It’s okay, sweetie.” The present Jimin squeezes his small hand in his own and smiles. “It’s all gonna work out, I promise you that.”
“That’s nice to hear.”
“You’re… Fond of Taehyungie, right?” he chooses his words carefully.
“I am. I just wish that sometimes he’d know when to back off.”
“I understand. But don’t you think a better way to let him know that is to sit with him and talk calmly, instead of always fighting and yelling at each other?”
“I guess.” He shrugs weakly.
“It’s alright. You two will fight a lot.” the present Jimin tells him with a small giggle. “You just have to learn to express your affection through other ways. Which won’t be easy, but you’ll get there. Trust me.”
The past Jimin stays silent, but it’s okay. He decides to tell him one more thing before they leave.
“Taehyungie is a good person. Just tell him you’re not ready yet. It’s okay to let him know you’re scared. I know you don’t like being vulnerable, baby. But he is worth it baring your soul to, I promise.”
The past Jimin snorts at that, which was to be expected. But Jimin knows. Jimin knows he’s doing the best he can. And it’s enough.