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Six stepped into the old manor with a box under his arm. He would grin, but well, keyhole masks aren’t all that good for that. His mom told him that he needed to help more around the house and suggested a vacuum. In a manor of countless rooms and spaces, before doing science. But he wasn’t going to disobey Annie either.
So! He had the most wonderful idea! And had gone out to buy a Roomba for the place. Now, no one had to worry about vacuuming. Patting the box he giggled. He was a very smart man indeed!
Unboxing the Roomba and setting it up, he sent his little machine away with a pat. “Thank you, Roomba!” he giggled. “Work hard!” And with that, he was off to science!
Rabbit was polishing her crown of awesome when she heard a distressed beeping. But not one that she knew.
Polish and crown in hand, she went off to investigate. Down the hall, the beeping got louder until she found a robot disk, stuck under the hall table.
“H-h-hey, there! Whatcha-cha doin’ under der?” Pulling out the machine, she looked it over. “Oh! You’re ne-new, ain'tcha! I’m Rabbit!”
When they didn’t respond, she frowned a moment. But she quickly beamed. “Aw! Ya must be shy. It’s okay, we’re all really nice, promise!” Still nothing. Maybe they just needed to feel more welcome.
“Come on! Let’s go have some fun to-together. Do-do you like tea parties?” She asked while she carried the Roomba off for a play date.
Turns out Roombas aren’t big fans of tea, even if she let them wear her crown of awesome. But they loved cookies! Or at least the crumbs that fell out of Rabbit’s faceplate from chewing.
“See? I knew ya just needed to warm up to me” She chirped and brushed out her dress. “Come on, we can have some more fun.”
Standing up quickly, she bumped the table and sent the cutlery clattering to the floor, and covering her new friend.
The Roomba kicked on again and chased after Rabbit as crumbs tumbled from her dress. A knife and fork balancing on its top.
“H-hey, careful,” she warned, and jumped out of the way, only for them to turn around again. Watching them, she grinned widely. “Well, if ya wa-wanna play like that.”
Plucking up her new friend, she went off to find some better knives and tape.
Sometime later, Spine was interrupted by a soft whirring noise and looked up from his guitar. “Hm? I thought I heard,” he was cut off when he heard a small clang of metal on metal.
Looking down, he saw a Roomba with a couple of knives taped to its top. Worse, they had cut his pants. “Hey, now! There’s no reason to go around cutting up people’s clothing,” he chided as the Roomba seemed to flee.
Only to start beeping as it hit the wall, cutting up the wallpaper.
The Spine sighed and knelt down to pick up the Roomba, careful not to have it cut any more of his clothes. Sure, the knives wouldn’t hurt him, but why ruin perfectly good clothes? It’s not like he had an endless supply of black shirts.
“Don’t worry, buckaroo. I’ll get you cleaned up and back on your way.” Carefully, peeling off the tape, he put the knives on the side table. “That’s better! Back at it, you go,” he praised and put the Roomba back down.
It turned once, twice, and then into his leg again, beeping that it hit something.
Grinning, he bent down to pat the machine again. “Hey, it’s alright if you want to take a little break. The manor is pretty big after all.” Sitting back down, he picked up his guitar again to practice. Though, he found himself distracted while the Roomba circled his chair. He hadn’t made any messes, not lately anyway.
“Do you like music by chance?” He asked and strummed a few notes. When the Roomba stopped in front of him, he grinned. “How about that!” He played a few songs for his new friend before he dug out an old cowboy doll he had stored away. Borrowing the hat, he placed it on the Roomba and adjusted it until it was just right.
“There ya are! Looks good on ya cowboy,” he laughed as the Roomba finally left the room.
Red fire truck in hand, Zer0 was happily playing on the floor when a new friend came to visit. Looking up, he grinned. “Hi! I’m Zer0. Are you new?”
Instead of answering, the Roomba went around the edges of the room.
Which made Zer0 laugh. “Come on! Do you wanna play with my red fire truck, with me? You can be the cowboy firefighter!” He followed the Roomba around the room with the truck. “Where’s the fire cowboy?”
After pulling him out from under his bed, Zer0 grinned. “You’re havin’ a hard time seein’ where you’re goin’, cowboy firefighter! I can fix that.”
Digging through a couple drawers, he found a marker and held it up. “Perfect! You can’t see where you’re goin’ ‘cuz you ain’t got no eyes!” Sitting down he carefully drew two mismatched eyes for the Roomba, and the biggest smile he could fit.
“Now, you can see the fire! Where should we go now?” With a chirp, the Roomba spun around again. Zer0 mimicked his new friend spinning in circles.
Out of the room, they went, until the Roomba ducked under a table that Zer0 couldn’t fit under. “Hey! You can’t put out the fire without the fire truck!”
Getting up, Zer0 scurried off to meet the Roomba on the other side. “Cowboy firefighter?” He wandered the halls looking for his new friend.
GG was sat on the end of the hall, pouting. “Someone pick me up! I’m too cute to walk down the halls!” She whined, waiting for someone to find her. The poor Roomba did first.
Seeing the Roomba roll down the hall she lit up. “Oh! Perfect!” Giggling she knocked off the hat and crawled on top of it.
Trying to keep her balance was hard, she fell on her face. “Hey! What was that for!?” She whined, sitting up to rub her nose.
Trying again, she wiggled and flailed until she found out how to sit and stay upright. “Yes! A mobile throne! Just need some cushions. Come, throne! To the living room!” She was pretty sure they were going the wrong way, but as long as they got there!
The Spine and Rabbit were in the kitchen, debating the new song set when GG rode by.
“Cowboy?” The Spine tilted his head before he popped his head out to see.
Rabbit wrinkled her nose. “No! That was Mister Stabby! I was playin’ with him earlier.” She rushed out to chase after GG. “What’d you do with his knives, GG?” She demanded.
“Knives? That was you? Rabbit, are you insane? You could have hurt someone, never mind cutting up my pants!” He scolded, only getting more angry when she waved it off.
“It was his idea! He was zoo-zoomin’ around with a knife on his head. I just helped.”
“Hey, guys! Have you seen Cowboy Firefighter? We were playing firefighter with my red fire truck and he got lost.” He held it up a little as he talked.
Narrowing his eyes, The Spine huffed and grabbed at the toy. “You mean you were playing with my red fire truck,” he corrected. “You have your own fire truck Zer0, leave mine alone.”
“He pr-pro-probably ran away because you were callin’ him the wrong name. He’s Mister Stabby!” Chirped Rabbit.
The three of them couldn’t finish a sentence before another was trying to talk over them.
Hearing the noise, Six peeked his head around the corner to see GG riding on his new Roomba. Stepping out, he put his foot out to stop it and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Do you mind, Petes? I need to get to the living room to get pillows for my mobile throne.”
Six tilted his head. “Excuse me? That’s a Roomba. It cleans the floors.” Before GG could whine he jabbed a thumb to the side. “Off.”
While she scampered off, complaining that he was being mean he looked down the hall to the three squabbling bots. He could see the marker face. He had only bought it a few hours ago! “Excuse me.” He tried, picking up the machine and powering it off.
When they ignored him he tapped his foot and huffed. “Excuse me!” He tried again, not quite yelling. That worked and they looked at him, each crying out that he turned off, Mister Stabby, Cowboy, Cowboy Firefighter. Tilting his head again he sighed.
“It’s a Roomba, little machine vacuum. It runs around and cleans the floors. It is not a toy, and it’s not sentient. The Roomba is not for playing, leave it alone.”
The three bots hung their heads and agreed.
How could three bots, each over a hundred years old, make him feel guilty? Sighing, he waved a hand. “It’s got a lot of work to do, please let it work.” Still, with the Roomba tucked under his arm, he walked off to put it on its charger. They were a handful sometimes.
A few days later, Six came up for a coffee refill, wondering why he hadn’t put one in all the labs yet. Stirring in more creamer than coffee he heard something metallic rattling along. He stopped and made sure he hadn’t picked up loose screws and dropped them in his glass again.
Nope, something was still rattling. Walking out to the hall he followed the sound. A few turns later he found it. The Roomba was scooting down the hall with three ice creams on top. There were a few bills tucked under them.
“GUYS!”