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His fingers were running across the white chest, strong but soft. The years wreaked havoc on the skin that was once hard and muscular; now it is softer, thinner and flabby in some places. He doesn't mind, neither does Vladimir, but at some moments like now when they are lying down after an intense session the subject of age comes up. Dmitry smiled, he has always wanted his old lover to be happy and not too self-conscious about his body, although over time that has become more difficult his patience increased.
"I like to think we have enough time to be like this." Vladimir, with his years, became sincere in his thoughts. That was good in a way with his growing confidence." But then I look at us and really our time is short."
"What do you mean?" he looked up, his icy eyes are melancholy expressive and he can see them a little watery." Vova, what is it? Is something bothering you?"
In those years, so many years that he shared laughter, shouting and anger; to see his lover crying is something so strange that he have only managed to see three times in his relationship. Now, he doesn't know if the man is breaking up again.
"Look at us, I'm getting old."
Oh, it's age again. He knows that Vladimir is bothered by his age difference but it's not so much, they are both old men and they are happy! That's what should matter.
"And so do I, I don't see the problem." he sighed, kissing the skin that was beginning to wrinkle." Volodya, what's bothering you? We've already talked about this."
"I'm going to be a useless old man, I won't be able to move." he started again, moving uncomfortably the way his skin is treated." Who's going to see me when I have to eat only porridge? You won't."
He embraced the man, dropping his head on his chest. The heartbeat is relaxing, beating slowly and steadily into a state of conformity that makes him smile.
His fear was that too, old age. It was not too much, nor was it something that did not torment him but not enough to keep his mind focused on it. Death would come sooner or later, and he settled for living his life as long as he could with the man at his side. Why was it not enough for Vladimir?
"Volodya, though you are an old grouch, I will be with you." the chest rises, falls, and stands still at times in a slow rhythm. He looked into the icy blue eyes, giving them a soothing smile." Don't think you'll take me out of your life easily."
He came closer, touching the thin lips with his own lips in a fleeting little kiss. What would happen when those situations are gone? When he can no longer see those eyes? His chest shrank, reluctant to think that Vladimir would ever stop breathing. He is the most influential man in Russia, the tsar who rose from the dead and now seeks greatness to rule for life.
Dying could not be in the man's plans, they could not leave him alone now that his confidence has advanced in gigantic ways.
He felt the loneliness again, watching the eyes begin to water more strongly and accumulate around the edges until they fell into the salty tears of a repentant life. His thumb wiped away the tears devoutly, kissing Vladimir's icy cheeks.
"Don't cry Volodya, you're not like that." His nose caressed the neck, just as animals do to calm their mates." I will always be with you no matter what. I won't leave you."
"I don't want to die, Dima." the voice came out trembling, looking strangely at the calm blue waters of his lover." How do I know what's after death? Will I live again? Is there even anything after this?"
He tried to calm his thoughts. Dmitry felt helpless that he couldn't stop the melancholy that his lover was slowly sinking into.
"Volodya, thinking about it is useless and you know it." His hand rose, caressing the sparse blond and gray hair that adorned the president's head. His life has always been surrounded by that man and to see him, to know that time is scarce hurts him." We have to live our moment, there's only the two of us. What does it matter about the others?"
He received his strong arms with happiness, sighing at the smell of Vladimir's fragrance. His eyes stung, as much as the sadness to which he was also plunged. This wasn't supposed to be like this, they were supposed to be having fun on that little vacation. He hid his face in the white collar, shivering from the icy breezes that filtered in through the half-open window.
"I haven't enjoyed my life." he said, hugging harder and if he could say, despair in that hug." Only since I met you have I been able to say that I live happily."
He smiled, kissing his neck to show his watery, downcast eyes. He kissed his lips again, giving him all the love he could express in that action. Turn off the thoughts, reduce them to ashes and microscopic beings so that man doesn't think about it. When they parted he looked at him, wanting to remove that sad look from the inexpressive eyes that now overflow with emotion.
"Then let's live, let's dance." He laughed a little at that, thinking and amusing himself with the horrified look." Why not? We could dance and I'm not a good dancer."
"I won't make a fool of myself." he refused the idea, smiling a little at the dark-haired man's laugh." Just don't forget me if I die, that's something I want you to promise me."
His tears came down, making a grimace that he tried to stop as he saw his smile deforming and trying to keep it up. How could he forget? It wasn't in his plans if it was the last thing he did.
"I won't forget you." he sobbed, nodding to the promise that was asked of him. The calloused hands wiped away his tears and he felt better about it." Promise me something too."
"Whatever you want." Vladimir took him, making his body stand on top of the president. Both men looked at each other with devotion and tenderness.
He thought of the promise, wiping his eyes that kept creating tears; his nose was blocked, breathing hard. The idea saddened him but it was the right thing to do, at least for him.
"If I die." he began, speaking slowly or he would break into tears and then no one would stop him." I want you to come and get me and I want you to ask me to dance, if I have to die, then dance with you."
The request took Vladimir by surprise, he knew it from the way the red eyes opened for a little second until they returned to their original form. He received a strong hug in response, crying as he clung to the idea of having the man for longer.
"I promise you, I'll come and get you myself."
****
The years were good to him? At first they were, his face didn't change enough but then the wrinkles marked him and the experiences of his life were reflected in his bags under his eyes, in the wrinkles from laughing and in his neck from getting fat and thin. The promise they both made to each other was what kept him on his feet in his more mobile years and now that he has to use a cane it makes him smile; he can hear Vladimir's voice saying that the colored cane made by his granddaughter is completely ridiculous but in keeping with him.
He looked at the stars, smiling with tears as he does every night. His wrinkled hands with their work marks, his past as a weightlifter and his life of small luxuries were marked. The stars look beautiful from gorki, a beautiful touch they give now that the light is out and the sky can be seen from its splendor. With his pink cane he said goodbye to the sky as he does so many times, giving a kiss that he then throws with his trembling hand that in time becomes thin and bony.
The way to his bed was slow, wanting to believe that the man of his life would appear to embrace him and tell him that he missed him. The sheets embraced him, he received them gladly in the cold weather to kiss a photograph under his pillow. It was the best photo according to him, the only one he managed to capture when Vladimir felt completely comfortable. The blue eyes were not icy and the smile was completely big, covered with happiness.
He closed his eyes, sighing as his sleeping pill took effect.
A long hallway...
The same dream again? He walked down the bright white corridor, looking at his tired, old reflection. The white door that is always closed with a chain prevents him from seeing what is there, always waking him up with a bitter taste in his mouth.
But this time the door has no chain.
The doorknob is strangely warm, in a pleasant way that can warm his cold hand. He opened it, not causing any sound to creak against his almost deaf ears. His eyes, which were once in need of a pair of glasses, focused perfectly on the small hut or dark but warm room. He held his place, feeling slow steps down the stairs that had just appeared before his eyes. Black shoes, perfectly ironed cloth pants and a white shirt began to show.
Ice-blue eyes met his own and he could not hold back his tears at the new sight. The face he once saw dying has no wrinkles, is perfectly flattened and is like the first time he saw it. Vladimir's body moved, like a panther to him, until it was face to face.
"You fulfilled my promise," he said, smiling with an effort not to throw himself into the man's arms.
"I can say the same for you." The calloused hands grabbed him, bringing him closer to the other body. The way the strong, muscular chest pressed against him made him sigh." You're a lovely old man with your granddaughter."
He dropped his head on his chest, laughing happily to have the man with him. Slow music came to his ears, moving as he was led into the center of the room. His hand clung to his shoulder, touching it gently as his feet moved in a follow up to the younger feet.
He was surprised and suppressed a scream as he was led around, looking into eyes that were amused.
"Volodya, I am too old for such sudden movements," he said to the man, smiling at the way the thick lips pouted.
"I just don't want you to feel any pain."
With the words in a row he felt his arms around him, hugging each other tightly as they continued to dance. He kissed the cheek, smiling at the thought of being like this forever. A pain in his chest made him stop, wanting to separate to relieve the pain that had become unbearable. He touched his chest, looking at Vladimir in fear.
His hands agreed with him, feeling the lips joining his own to ease the pain that struck his heart in a deadly way.
He clung, he could feel the tongue going into his mouth and how it completely took over. He squeezed and crumpled his flawless clothes with his fingers, groaning in pain until the sensation of pain disappeared until he felt a silence in his heart. The kiss of death took hold of him and he let himself be carried away in his dance until his earthly life was torn from his body. When he parted for lack of air he looked at his hands that had tickled in his kiss. With nothing, they were completely healthy and soft... rejuvenated if he could tell.
"I forgot how handsome you look like this." Vladimir kissed the lips again, holding the hands lovingly." I promised you I'd take you and now I'll take you to eternity with me, okay?"
The tone of command made him smile, crying with happiness at seeing that he was back with his beloved and they were united in a way that earthly humanity could not understand.
"It's all right with me, completely all right." He nodded, kissing the lips in little kisses. He pushed him away, laughing softly." You told me we'd dance."
"And we will, until everyone vanishes," he said, smiling sideways at the man's attitude." But I told you I don't dance."
He walked up to him, kissing him on the forehead without any wrinkles.
"We have all eternity for you to learn."
Both men danced, giving their hearts to the devotion they both had. Eternity smiles upon them, accepting that both souls unite as one to follow only one path until they reach infinity.