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Junkyu thought of himself as an easy going guy. Especially with his dongsaengs, he liked to make them feel comfortable and have fun with him. He knows the fans call him a Fake Maknae and a baby, the latter being a bit more embarrassing. He’s nineteen you know, will be twenty in a few weeks! His Hyungs probably thought the same of him, especially Jihoon and Hyun Suk. He does feel nervous and excited for the future, especially since they’ve just made their debut. Treasure Map had been fun. He spent so much time with the members more than usual. Since they lived in different dorms, sometimes it was hard to get to see some members. All of them doing their own thing or hanging out with who they were the most close too. Junkyu spent most of his time in his room on his computer. He did play a lot of games he had to admit but he mostly was working on music. He also had a new roommate, Doyoung, who was fun to be with. He missed Haruto a lot, the other boy’s presence and voice. Even if he spent a lot more time in others’ rooms, when Haruto did stay with him, he had felt content. Less lonely he thought. Haruto is doing well at the other dorm with his new roommate and probably doesn’t even care that he left Junkyu missing him. Then again Junkyu hasn’t even been completely honest with himself and how he feels for the other boy. He knows he shouldn’t feel anything other than platonic love for Haruto. He’s sixteen! He knows it’s inappropriate to get butterflies at the sound of Haruto’s voice and feel comfortable in his arms as well. He shouldn’t want Haruto. Besides, he knows Haruto should be with someone more his age. Junkyu was too old for him. Jeongwoo was a better fit for him, he knew the fans shipped them together since Treasure box. They shipped him with Mashiho which he didn’t understand as Mashi was just a cute friend.
He really liked Haruto and he knew the other didn’t feel the same way. He knows Haruto jokes a lot with him. Haruto found it fun to tease Junkyu which he didn’t appreciate but secretly enjoyed. He liked when Haruto clung on to him during V Live, his pretty hands on his waist felt really nice. Junkyu shook his head and tried to concentrate on finishing a song he was working on with Asahi, he wanted to write some lyrics that expressed how he felt, and if Junkyu was the only person who knew the song was about Haruto, that was okay with him. Of course, Jihoon would figure it out. His friend knew everything about everyone, he was so quick to read people and situations. He had quickly noticed Junkyu’s lingering gaze on Haruto one night when all the members were over to watch a movie. Haruto was clad in his pajamas next to Jeongwoo and Junkyu felt bothered seeing how close they were sitting. Jihoon had turned to him and asked about the movie before following his gaze when receiving no response from him. Later, once everyone was sleeping and heading to share beds for the night, it was too late to go back to their own dorm, Jihoon pulled him aside.
“So Jeongwoo or Haruto? Let me guess. It’s Haruto.”
“What are you talking about?” Jihoon crossed his arms and stared Junkyu down. Junkyu looked down and picked at his pajamas.
“Don’t play dumb. I’ve noticed how you look at him and you look at him all the time. You know why it could never work. He’s sixteen for crying out loud! We’re idols! We’ve just debuted, you can’t act on your selfish feelings,” Jihoon’s words were harsh but Junkyu knew he was right. “If being close to him tempts you then you have to stay away from him. I’ll make sure of it.”
“I would never touch him! I care about him. I understand, he only likes me as a Hyung. He’s too young for me. He likes Jeongwoo.” Junkyu didn’t understand why his eyes started to fill with tears. Gosh, he felt pathetic. Jihoon sighed and wrapped his arms around Junkyu. He patted the back of his head.
“I know you like him but maybe you should wait, you know, for when he’s a little older. It’s going to be okay Junkyu,” he sniffled and nodded. Junkyu would do his best to push away his feelings. “Alright, lets g-“
“Hyung.” They startled away from each other when the voice interrupted them. Junkyu’s eyes widened as he saw Haruto standing there holding his stuffed pillow. He swallowed and nervously looked at Jihoon. “Junkyu Hyung.” Junkyu looked back at Haruto who approached them hesitantly and glancing between Junkyu and Jihoon. “Can I sleep with you in your bed tonight? Hyun Suk Hyung’s room is filled already.” It’s always Hyunsuk or Jeongwoo or even Yedam who Haruto seeks, Junkyu’s heart panged as he knew he’d always be chosen last. An afterthought.
“Haruto, I- um. Jihoon.” He turned to his friend for help.
“He’s going to bunk with me, Haruto.” Jihoon said while grabbing Junkyu’s arm. “You can sleep in his bed with Doyoung. Goodnight, and brush your teeth okay?” Jihoon pulled on his arm and started dragging him away. Junkyu couldn’t help but look back to Haruto, who was left standing alone. The boy had looked disappointed but maybe Junkyu was seeing things. This did continue throughout the month. Jihoon pulled him away from Haruto whenever the other boy tried to come close to him. Hyun Suk caught wind of what was happening and he hadn’t been able to look at Junkyu. It took him a few days to tell him he understands you can’t help who you fall for but for now to keep his distance. Despite Jihoon and Hyunsuk pushing him away from Haruto, he knew they still supported him. They just didn’t want Haruto to feel obligated to reciprocate since Junkyu had seniority and that could influence him. Junkyu was beginning to feel somewhat touch starved. Whenever Jihoon was somewhere else, Hyun Suk would make excuses for him. Or Junkyu himself would tell him he had somewhere else to be. Haruto isn’t one for confrontation so he must’ve thought he needed space. At least, that’s what Junkyu had thought before he was cornered by the other boy. Literally cornered. They had been practicing for an upcoming live performance. All the others had left to wash up and would be back for food. Junkyu had gone to his bag he left in the back of the room and hadn’t noticed Haruto come back. Once Junkyu turned around clothes in hand there was Haruto holding his gaze.
“Oh. Haruto. Uh I’m going to go showe-" Hands slapped against either side of him on the wall. He was shook and looked slightly up to meet the younger’s eyes. Haruto was frowning while looking hurt and confused.
“Did I do something wrong Hyung?” Junkyu swallowed and shook his head but Haruto continued. “We don’t hang out anymore and it feels like you’re avoiding me.” Haruto seemed to wilt from his posturing. Junkyu slowly and hesitantly put his hand on the other’s shoulder. He glanced behind the other and saw that the door was still closed, giving him confidence. He wouldn’t have to pull away this time.
“No Haruto, you did nothing wrong. I really have been busy!”
“Can we hang out again?” Junkyu beamed and looked at Haruto through his lashes.
“Have you missed me?” Haruto sputtered and pulled away disappointing Junkyu but it was probably for the best. He could hardly control his heart beat.
“No I- I just,” Haruto sighed, “Yeah, I did.” Junkyu’s heart skipped a beat at that. “Can I sit next to you for movie night tomorrow?” Junkyu was worried what Jihoon would do but he didn’t want Haruto to feel rejected.
“Sure, I’m going to go shower now. Make sure to receive the fried chicken if it arrives early okay?” Haruto nodded in response with a small ‘Okay Hyung’.
The next day Junkyu had felt on edge due to his promise to Haruto. He loved the boy truly but Jihoon was going to murder him. Jihoon, his best friend and platonic soulmate, was going to put him six feet under when he sees them together tonight. Practice had been extra grilling, Junkyu kept making mistakes from overthinking. It really dimmed his mood. Yedam noticed because of course the sweet angel did. He had run up to Junkyu after their dance teacher left and gave him a surprise back hug. Sending them both to the ground. Junkyu couldn’t help letting out loud bursts of laughter with Yedam’s giggles filling his ears. Of course them on the floor prompted Doyoung to throw himself over them setting the others off to create a dog pile of Treasure members. Junkyu screeched to be freed or he’d be buried alive under one too many limbs. Unsurprisingly, Yoshinori saved him as he really believed they were hurting him. Junkyu was happy knowing that they’ve become this close.
“Guys! Get off! I’ll save you Junkyu Hyung!” Half of his words being in Japanese sent the members into another wave of laughter but they got off as to not cause the boy anymore panic.
“My hero!” Junkyu cried jokingly and hugged Yoshi while becoming limp in the boy’s arms. ‘Heavy!’ The boy wheezed out unsure whether to try to find strength or just drop Junkyu to the floor. He didn’t have to decide as Haruto grabbed Junkyu’s hips pulling him towards him and away from Yoshi. Junkyu froze up and fought a blush but he knew his ears were red. The other guys were too busy playing around with each other to notice but Yoshi’s head tilted at Haruto’s actions. Oh God, Junkyu thought and tried to get out of Haruto’s hold. The other boy pulling him closer wrapping his arms around Junkyu’s small waist.
“Tiny Junkyu Hyung.” Junkyu felt kind of offended at that remark from Haruto. Junkyu was known for being one of the tall members of the group thank you very much. Haruto only had an inch or so on him. Tiny would be Hyunsuk or Mashiho. Then again Haruto was making him feel small with the way he was holding him. A chin was resting on his right shoulder.
“Yah! I’m not tiny,” Junkyu said trying to keep his voice normal. He didn’t want the others to notice them. Haruto only kept holding him before responding with a soft ‘cute’. Junkyu was going to die by being shook by Haruto. He’d die happy at least in Haruto’s arms. Yoshinori had left them excusing their actions as regular shenanigans. All the members could be overly cuddly, the only odd thing Yoshi briefly noticed was how possessive Haruto held Junkyu. The way his gaze was sharp when meeting his as if daring him to take Junkyu away from him. Junkyu stayed that way for the rest of the time they stayed in the practice room, in Haruto’s arms. Jihoon took notice but let them be. He knew they were safe with everyone together and besides, if he said something the members would start to get suspicious.
Later that night Haruto was practically glued to his side. The members decided on an American horror movie much to the dismay of Hyunsuk. Junkyu thought the plot was interesting but the cgi was so obvious that he wasn’t scared but smiled whenever Haruto jumped and held onto him. By the time the movie finished most of young ones had fallen asleep. Hyunsuk gently woke them up while Jihoon started counting loudly startling them into action. Haruto was told to join the others in Hyunsuk’s room and Junkyu sighed in relief when he could sleep in his own bed for the night. After brushing his teeth, washing his face, and putting on his pajamas, Junkyu slipped under his covers. ‘Good night Hyung!’ Doyoung cheerfully said while ditching him to cuddle with the others. Junkyu easily slipped into a deep sleep and was happy to have been able to be close to Haruto again. He loved the boy so much that just being able to be around him and be his friend was enough for him.
“Hyung.” Junkyu faintly felt himself being shaken. “Junkyu Hyung!” A whisper shouted in his ear making Junkyu groan groggily at whoever was torturing him awake. “Junkyu can I sleep with you?” Instead of answering, Junkyu only shifted closer to the wall with his back facing one of his members, giving them bed space. The figure settled behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. Junkyu felt his mind begin to blank as he sank back into his dreams. A soft deep voice whispered behind him,
“I love you so much Hyung.” A small sniffle wasn’t heard and the other held him tighter, as if afraid if he let go he’d never get to hold him again.
“It’s scary.”