Silencio

Days, when it rains, are Yeonjun's favorite; his senses of touch, sound, and smell echoed content as the rain hit the windows. And maybe, he liked them because he could hear the person a window over in his complex strumming their guitar.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

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Berceuse

(noun)

A lullaby. Generally slow and undulating

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Days, when it rains, are Yeonjun's favorite; his senses of touch, sound, and smell echoed content as the rain hit the windows. Against his skin when he would stick his hand out to feel it, against his cheeks when he wanted to take a step outside and bask in it for a few seconds. They were the days he rested well and rose early to drink some coffee and sit and read.

And maybe, he liked them because he could hear the person a window over in his complex strumming their guitar. Soft tunes and sweet eloquence as their fingertips brushed against the strings, strumming a mellow and delicate tune.

It had been going on recently for the past month, but surprisingly. It was always when it rained. Yeonjun would wake up around the same time every day, and during the week when it was sunny outside it was nothing but quiet.

As quiet as the city could get at least. With the sky a pale blue and the birds chirping along with the soft humming of the cars driving past. Those mornings were chilly and quiet and the way to work had been peaceful.

But whenever the sky darkened a little too fast at night, and the clouds covered the cool blue that morning, Yeonjun knew it would rain. He could feel it in his bones, the way they ached, and the way he felt more tired and the air felt a little cooler. And so he'd leave his bedroom window open that night.

So when the morning came, and the sun peaked over the horizon he'd wake to the pitter-patter of the rain against his windows and the chill air against his feet after they slipped from under his blankets at night. He could feel the tip of his nose freeze over and he'd nuzzle his face into his pillows, letting the sound of his alarm fade away before he was ready to get up.

And then after a morning shower with a change of fresher and warmer pajamas, he'd make himself a cup of coffee and some hot breakfast. Opening the rest of his windows to let in his favorite sound, the cries of the rain against his building.

Then he’d hear the starting tune of his morning, blending in perfectly with the chimes of raindrops. The apartment across from him would crack their window open, he would only see their smaller fingers pushing it up, never their face as they hid behind their curtain. So he was never able to figure out who it was, or what they even looked like. But it brought peace to his every boring morning, it made him love the mornings even more.

Plus, it would give him peace of mind leaving his house. Not wanting to burrow himself in his thoughts about life, thoughts about himself. Just those pesky thoughts that find their way in his head, slithering through his mind when all he sought out for was peace.

But soon enough he would hear the person starting to tune their guitar, and every time they repeated a note he'd imagine them cursing under their breath. Trying to get it to the correct pitch. And for a while, his worrisome thoughts would dematerialize within seconds.

Whenever it rained like this, Yeonjun would stay home and work from home. His job could be done at home, they had offered to accommodate that. But no matter how much he loved the rain and the peace that being at home brought him, he loved the sunny mornings too. Loved the rays against his skin and the birds chirping in the sky.

Morning rain petrichor smelled of grass, sweet and soft. His open windows let the chill morning air make his apartment cold. Wooden floorboards like ice where his sock-clad feet stepped. Coffee in his mug warmed his hands up as he sat at his desk in the living room. Placed right next to the large windowpane. Right where he could hear the beautiful strums perfectly even through the roaring droplets.

He wished to know the songs that played, wished to know who wrote the tune and why? Was it someone new who moved in across from his apartment? Or was it someone who just found a hobby, someone he already knew?

The mystery of it all excited him, falling for the strums of a guitar. Whose owner was unknown to him. Bringing in bright curiosity that although made him sad to not know the truth, it made him excited and inspired.

It wasn’t much, but it soothed him dearly. He felt connected to someone he didn’t know, someone who just like him who loved the rain enough to stay home and bask in it. Even if he didn’t know who they were, or their name for that matter he felt comfort. Felt happy that someone out there possibly felt the same way he did about days like this, who maybe, possibly longed to spend days like this with someone.

He was definitely projecting. Comforting himself to make sense of why he admired this person as much as he did. Making up a caricature of them to fill his long rainy day with, as if they were here. As if he was talking to them. Because although he loved his life free of no one bothering him, he longed for a friend.

And with a sigh, he sipped at his coffee. Ready to start his day with the smooth soft playing of music that lasted through the morning. Letting the warmth of his drink and his fluffy pajama pants keep him comfortable. Wondering if the person across from him too had a warm drink and food to eat, if they too were comfortable and happy.

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Affettuoso

(Adjective)

Affectionate; tender.

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Yeonjun loved the rain, loved the way it trickled down windowpanes and the way the grass looked like an array of stars whenever the sun hit it. They were refreshing days where his boots would splash into the puddles carelessly, watching the dirty mud trickle down his leather Chelsea boots.

However, the days it came out of nowhere were ones he didn't favor so much. Those days where the sky was clear and such a deep blue it seemed like paint as if it would drip soon from the canvas onto the asphalt below. Where the flowers outside of shops would look their brightest, and the sun against Yeonjun's skin felt so warm. As if it were a hug from the world.

Those days would start normal, with waking up early all warm and toasty under his blankets. His alarm blaring and tearing him from his warm slumber. He'd get up and get dressed, taking his bag full of work with him. Saying a somber goodbye to his empty apartment and a ‘have a good day’ to his neighbor who didn’t even know he existed.

He was usually the one to get the rest of his coworkers coffee and food, so that wasn’t anything he was worried about. Plus this early in the morning timeframe, when the sky was fading through colors across the horizon not a lot of people were up and about. Just like always, it would be a peaceful walk to work when the sun decided to finally wake themselves up and bask the world in its yellow light.

Mornings like these he loved, being able to see the world start to wake up one by one. Lights turning on inside apartments, porch lights from shops automatically turning on. He'd see owners of shops unlocking their store's gates littered with tags and various art, pushing them up and starting their day.

During these mornings he'd be able to deal with his feelings, feelings about being an adult. Being alone sucked, his time in college was a good distraction for the time being, but now? He lived alone, he had no friends other than his coworkers and his mornings were of just him dreaming and hoping that his neighbor would acknowledge him. A neighbor he didn't even know the name of.

And when he eventually made it to his job those thoughts were then rushed away by the working face he had to put on. He’d see his coworkers starting to get settled in their seats, walking about starting their day. Excited to see Yeonjun entering with the tray of coffees and bags of food they’d rally around him.

“Yesterday's rain was beautiful, Yeonjun-ssi, did you have fun at home?” one coworker asked, grabbing their coffee and a bag of food.

"Mhmm, but I also like days like this one. I like the sun just as much as I admire the rain," He replied with a warm smile. Sighing as he took a sip of his coffee, settling into his computer chair.

And then suddenly, like tripping on an unseen rock, it was pulled away without warning. The rain at first would lightly drop, more like the lightest of sprays from a sprinkler. A mist upon the world that would last mere minutes but never more. And just when you believed it would get better and the sun would start to shine through the dark grey once more, it was hidden away. Stolen by the clumps of clouds and suddenly it would violently pour.

Those days he would sit at his desk, staring through his office windows and biting his lip. Hoping that the rain would stop soon when he would go home after editing all these manuscripts. Not even the forecast had predicted these rains, never any indication that it would suddenly start to downpour. No indication that it would stop either.

Of course, it wouldn't no matter how much he begged for it to stop. He'd have to walk home in the rain, holding his bag close to his chest to protect his work from getting wet. Avoiding all puddles to prevent his new favorite shoes from becoming dirty. It was like a messed up game of hopscotch.

No matter how fast he had run home he’d still be soaked, his bag damp and his papers inside slightly wet too. Those days were the worst. When everything felt wet, hot and humid, skin sticking to the layers of his clothes.

What had made those sudden-rainy-days worse, was the mornings that started them. The quiet mornings he didn’t hear those beautiful strums of the guitar. Because the rain would happen while he was at work, and last throughout the night.

He never heard the guitar on those days. And he never saw his neighbor's windows opened ajar like they always were on days like this. Because they'd be busy with their own life, doing whatever they did on sunny days.

Yeonjun felt selfish on these days, wishing he had some kind of future vision to know when it would rain like this. Wanting to hear those lovely strings once more, starting his morning with tranquility. Because it felt like he missed out on something, staring into the apartment across from his left a weight on his chest. Like he couldn’t breathe.

On days like this, he'd feel pathetic and heavy. Like his clothes that dragged him down and against the floorboards. Like the world decided to use his shoulders as their resting place.

Because the morning after a downpour like today, it wouldn’t rain the next day. The world would stay wet and humid, the sidewalks littered with worms and puddles staying stagnant. But there would never be any rain again. And the longing he felt to hear those wonderful tunes once more would only continue to hurt him with the days the rain never came.

Yeah, Yeonjun hated these days the most. Because of the aching in his heart that it left behind and the sobs the rain had to drown out with its loud pitter-patter. Because he felt even more alone.

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Amorevole

(Adjective)

With love.

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This week's weather has been chilly yet full of sunny days. Days where coats were too much, but sweaters and sweatshirts were perfect. Those pesky days that left you confused about how you should dress. Especially as the day went on. The sun would heat the streets and leave you sweating even with the soft breeze if you wore too much. And yet that never stopped Yeonjun from overdressing, he loved dressing up no matter the weather.

Even when his cheeks would redden from being too hot and stuffy, he’d ignore the flare. Letting the chill air hit his flushed cheeks, and walking more slowly to not overheat himself. Despite the heat and the cold all at the same time, he’d keep on all his layers.

He'd woken up early, with the skies blue light casting down on him, cascading down the ruffles and folds of his blankets. Waking up this early would make the room look almost blue, with the way the sun was still hidden yet spreading light throughout the horizon. Not yet making itself known but still making the sky a pale color, like a filter across the world.

He had forgotten the night before to shut his curtains. It wasn’t the worst way to wake up, eyes blurry as they opened. Getting used to the light seeping in, staring at the cloudy sky as he got up and stretched. The warmth from his blanket would rip from him as his comforter would fall off his shoulders, running shivers through his body.

His face would be all puffy, lips in a permanent pout as he tried to slowly but surely wake himself. Trying not to lay back down and snuggle into the warmth of his sheets once more.

These mornings were peaceful, the silence comforting him. With the streets below dark and quiet, only some porch lights were still on, even televisions in some apartments were still on. Even the swaying laundry pinned to cotton twine between the apartments was soothing to watch, fluttering the fabric like it was calculated by the wind.

It wasn’t often he’d wake up before his alarm and have extra time to himself to do whatever he wanted. Especially since the week had been so warm and sunny, he’d usually sleep in a little more. Waiting for the sun to peer above the horizon, sneaking passed the rows of buildings to shimmer into his room. Those days he’d rub his face into his pillow, taking in deep breaths before getting up to get ready.

So he took advantage of his extra time to take his time to get ready that morning. Letting himself take extra care of his face and looks. Usually, he'd get in a splash of water over his face with light moisturizer over it. Now, however, he could pamper himself with gel eye patches over his dark circles and a deep cleanser. Letting his body ease to the morning, waking up one by one.

Usually, his mornings were a little bit rushed, having only half an hour to dress and get ready before he had to get his morning coffee and food. He had made a habit of these fast-paced, no second wasted routines, ones that got him up and out of the house before he decided to stay at home. But now he could sit and enjoy the silence, taking deep breaths before leaving the apartment after getting dressed.

Just the feeling of accomplishment of making his bed and putting the dishes away he'd washed last night filled his chest with happiness. Basking in his joy as he got dressed just a tad bit slower, taking his time when he tied his laces with deft fingers.

The morning was chilly, so his black trench coat over his sweater was worth wearing. Keeping his arms warm against the breeze as he walked along the sidewalks. The only sound was the birds chirping, the soft humming of cars nearby, and the heels of his boots clicking against the concrete. Just the natural background music of the world.

The minute he walked out of his apartment he was struck with the fresh morning air of grass and the faintest ethanol. Familiar smells that permeated the city streets, the mud and grime of the streets and alleyways that still had the smell of plant life around. Despite there barely being any plants around, just those grass patches on the sides of sidewalks or flower beds outside of buildings.

Luckily his neighborhood was mostly older people and an array of students from the university nearby. So on mornings like this when he trekked to work, it was quiet and peaceful. The occasional runner jogging past him and an old couple walking their small dog, and of course the tired student sighing with headphones blasting music.

Those were the gems of these mornings. No cars driving through nor out of their driveways to work yet. Leaving his walk uneventful in the nicest of ways, because he could cross roads without many cars to thread his body through to get to the other side. He could just watch the world slowly wake up around him as if his every step caused the lights in homes to flicker on and cars to start.

And his favorite sight other than the lovely sunrise and the flowers starting to bloom as the sun started to hit them. It wasn’t the people bustling around or the sky fading from a light grey to a deeper blue. It wasn’t the sight of the sky fading from blue to an array of colors, like watercolor spreading throughout the paper.

Although all those sights were breathtaking, sometimes making his heart stutter in admiration. Like his first love from youth, it made him smile and his heart would swell. Chest tight as if he would burst. But although these sights and feelings were wonderful, they weren't his only favorite thing. It was the sight of his favorite cafe being not as busy today, and the workers starting up the machines and placing the fresh food onto the glass shelves.

Suddenly his body was hit with warmth and the smell of coffee and sweets. It wasn’t sickeningly sweet, it was soft and barely there. Faint behind the smell of coffee. It was comforting, and the smell instantly woke him up even more than the sudden temperature change did.

“Morning Soobin!” Yeonjun greeted with a smile, and the barista laughed. Their kind face was one of many, like an old friend it greeted him. Despite not knowing them at all, like they knew nothing about him. That comforting separation.

"Always so energetic Yeonjun," his words were warm. His eyes were always so delicately looking, emitting the kindest lights. Like the warmth from a campfire, crackling in its own symphony.

But then someone burst through the front door ripping the warmth and tranquility from the shop, letting in a breeze. Like a rock splattering the calm waters when you wanted to try and skip them across the surface. Within seconds, the peace and quiet was suddenly ripped away with just a simple act.

The guy looked a mess, with their hair askew and a bag messily slung over his shoulder. Obviously, he was a student, from the way his bag was still open, letting all his papers and textbooks be seen to the tired features on his face. Plus, this coffee place was near the campus, close for students to get a cup of joe before their morning classes.

“Can I get uh…” He said breathlessly, using the counter to balance himself. Propping his small frame up against it, trying to calm his locks down as he spoke breathlessly. The guy then looked over at Yeonjun who had watched with a smile, his eyes widening in a panic, “O-oh I’m so sorry I didn’t even see you I just--”

“It’s alright,” he waved a hand dismissively, “My order is long you can go first” And maybe it was because this guy was cute, he’d never admit that though.

“Don’t want to be late for your lecture”

The smile he got in return was worth it. Seeing his cheeks rise as his smile started to grow on his face. Thankful, he muttered a thank you before saying his order. Yeonjun couldn’t help himself but watch with a smile the entire time, letting the guy take his time before he bowed to him and ran out of the door.

He was gone within a flash and then it was his turn to order, met with Soobin who shook his head. Eyeing the door with a familiar smile.

“He does this, like, all the time,” was all he said. And despite not knowing the guy or ever seeing him before, he nodded along, like he knew this was something he’d do a lot. Like he was someone he knew.

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Diminuendo

(Adjective)

(Italian: Literally 'diminishing'). A dynamic instruction meaning to gradually play quieter.

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Today was Yeonjun’s day off. One of peace and calm.

Where he would wake up at any time he’d like, drowning himself in his work after a nice shower. Where his blankets would be warmed by the sun shining into his room.

When his alarm would go off, the sound muffled by the layers of blankets over top of him he didn't feel alarmed. He felt fine ignoring the couple of others that followed, too. Because he didn't have to follow a strict schedule, just the mental one he'd set up for himself.

He’d lay there longer, and let himself shut his eyes despite being awake. Just wanting to milk the amount of sleep he could get for the day.

Since that fun meeting with that cute college student that one fateful day, Yeonjun found himself looking out with wandering eyes every time he went to get coffee. Like he was always frantically searching for the guy every time he walked to work, wondering if he took the same steps as him. Wondering if he left earlier than he and if he got to school on time.

Along with that, the wondrous strums of the guitar still permeated his thoughts and emotions. The rainy days brought peace to him and made him wish more and more to hear and see this person who played. It made him, if anything, yearn to see the person even more.

Even now, as his body stretched across his sheets. Fingers and toes pulling on the fabric, wrinkling the surface and his body rolling around in its warmth. With the chirping birds outside and the toasty streams of the sun against his bare skin, he wondered what his neighbor was up to. Wondering if they also had the day off.

He never heard them playing guitar, nor did he see their window cracked open or their curtains pulled back. Yeonjun wondered if they too slept in and basked in the sun like this. Soaking up the heat in a light layer of clothes, snuggling closer into the layers and pillows.

Or maybe they also went to work on his days off and got days off when he had work. Or maybe they didn't work, maybe they were a student? Or they worked from home all the time? Lot's of questions he has for someone he'd never talked to.

But he felt at ease with it all, watching his neighbor's curtains stay stagnant. As if his gaze would ruffle it's fabric or tell his neighbor to come out of hiding. To share who they were and who was behind the symphonies that made his days happier on those rainy mornings. Days that had him sighing in nostalgia, wondering what it would be like to share a nice day off like this with them. Playing the guitar sweetly while he lazed about his apartment.

His morning started fairly normal after that, stretching and laying down for a few more minutes. The shower that followed was like wiping his fatigue away, like windshield wipers against a car window. Trickling hot water against his skin, hair wet and sticking to his forehead, scrubbing suds along his expanse of skin until he was all clean.

All to be put into another set of pajamas. One's not riddled with sleep and tales of his confusing dreams and subconscious thoughts that flooded his head in the night. He had the luxury of doing such, so of course, he took advantage of it.

Making coffee in one of his big mugs warmed up his fingertips, just as the sun warmed him up as it rose in the sky. Like a flower he bloomed, toes stretching in his socks as they curled. Getting ready, becoming more awake as the seconds passed. Sighing into the peaceful silence of his day off.

His desk pressed against the wall in front of the glass letting the light filter into his living room. With his sheer curtains pulled open, letting in the natural light of the day brought peace to his morning.

Because even now, as he was clad in his comfiest pajamas, his hands held work he brought home. Manuscripts yet to be edited and submitted in his grasp as his fingertips grazed the corners of the paper, flicking them down like tabs of a book. Pens lining his desk's surface of every color so he could color code and edit as he ready along.

Usually, the workload would weigh on him, but with his warm coffee settled on a coaster next to all his work. The smell of the roasted beans wafting throughout the room was worth it. It was calming to just sit at the beginnings of the morning and to work. The sun cheered him on and the breeze would pet him in encouragement.

With a sip of his coffee and his fingers running through his hair, brushing back the strands in his face he'd sigh. A soothing one, taking in the chill air. Nothing but the sounds of his neighbors waking up, the birds chirping outside, and the scribbling of his pen against paper filled the room. Fitting together sweetly like a melody meant to be made.

This was the loveliness of his days off.

He’d take a sip of his coffee every now and then, drowning his mind in his work. Fingers fiddling with his pen, letting it shake between his forefinger and thumb. Slapping the paper rhythmically as he read along, clicking it only when he noticed a grammatical error. Scribbling down corrections here and there.

Yeonjun loved his work, loved the methodical way his eyes scanned words upon words, fixing minor mistakes here and there. Sure the work was grueling and got annoying at times, rereading the same sentence over and over again to fix its punctuation.

However, it was a journey. He got to read all these amazing books before anyone else could even get their hands on it let alone know it existed. And here he was, with its beautiful poetic words within his grasp. Holding the beginnings of a book someone else would buy. A book someone would cherish, adding it to their collection on their bookshelves or on top of their coffee tables and their bedside table.

Which is why he chose to work on his days off. Because in some way, this was relaxing for him. It was like reading a book on his day off, even if it was just editing, it was therapeutic. Seeing how his opinion mattered and even his slightest edit or change in the script would mean a lot. Knowing that his name would be listed on the credit page of the book, it felt worth it. Like he had made a difference and accomplished something. So like this warm gold in his mug, his sweet yet strong coffee-fueled him to work harder. It woke up his senses and made him appreciate the early morning filled with work like this one.

Mornings like this had Yeonjun working for long hours, leading into the more rowdy afternoons. With students coming home and most people coming home from long shifts at work, the roads once peaceful silence was filled with sounds of cars revving. Horns being honked if someone took too long, and the dogs barking in unison with them, greeting their owners and friends alike. It wasn’t too loud but it would be the reason Yeonjun would shut his windows, deciding to play some calming music on his phone.

A song full of guitar strums, ones that always calmed him down as the sounds around him filled his peaceful silence. Because as the footsteps below him creaked, as his windows tried to fight back the loud horns blaring and the people conversing about, it got harder and harder to focus on his work.

The words would start to make less and less sense as the seconds passed. They’d look just like jumbled letters disguising themselves as nonsense words. He couldn’t differentiate them anymore. Pen shaking between his fingers until it dropped with a dull thud against his desk.

And of course, his door would be knocked on as he tried to collect his brain. Sighing, his shoulders falling, taking a sip from his now cold coffee he cringed as it settled across his palate. Settling the mug down with a soft clunk, finally taking a stand once the knocking stopped.

He stretched as he made his way to the front door, his sock-clad feet shuffling against the floorboards. Opening the door, he peeked his head out looking for a possible culprit to the knocking but found no one but a package at the foot of his door.

Oh, the mail.

But he hadn’t ordered anything recently, so this big package on his doorstep was a surprise to him. Especially when the mailman would usually leave it by his mailbox, never right in front of his apartment door.

There must’ve been some kind of mix up, but the mailman had already left within the seconds he dropped it off. As if he knocked and ran like a child playing ding-dong-ditch into the night with their friends. Giggling as they poorly hid themselves behind the corner of the hall. The thought made him chuckle, but he could only roll his eyes at the large package at his front door.

There was no way possible anyone could really find whoever did ring his doorbell or knock on his door. Not with the endless hallways of metal doors and it’s poor lighting. It always felt like it was night time and you could never figure out where the hall ended or began. Sometimes even Yeonjun himself forgets which hall is his. The first week of moving in had been an absolute nightmare.

He picked it up, carefully inspecting the box with a tiny shake. Nothing indicated what was in the box, no picture on the side or company label either. If it were more scripts and books for him to take a last look at before they got approval and finalized there would’ve been his company’s logo on the side of it. But there was nothing.

There was only a sticker slapped onto the top of it, sealing the box shut along with the tape that held it closed. Nothing else had identified even a slight detail of what was in it, no sound to it as he shook it slightly in his grasp.

“Hmm,” He hummed to himself, reading the label, “Choi Beomgyu”

Of course, it was a mix-up, as he and this person shared a last name. Plus it seemed to be addressed to this complex, just a different door, in a different building addressed to a different person. And now he would have to return it to its rightful owner. Which was fine, but it was his day off. A day away from his relaxing and diligent paperwork.

But it’s not like it was too bothersome. He had already reached a point of his mind splitting. A break would be good, and to return a package seemed like a good start to it anyway. Something to distance himself from his work for just a second.

So he didn't mind slipping on some slippers before he went venturing out to find the owner of the package. It started as smooth sailing when he started in the other building in his complex, going from door to door, looking at the numbers to see if they correlated with the ones listed. It was confusing to see the same colored hallways and the same array of endless doors with another three other halls he still had to search.

It was times like this when he regretted living in a multifaceted building, in the projects, and in the city in general. It was jarring at first, it felt as if he saw the same three buildings over and over again before he realized which one was actually his building. But then as smooth sailing began it ended quickly. The search began to slowly and slowly drive him mad with each passing door and number that wasn't the one he was looking for. It wasn't heavy at first, but over time it got heavier and heavier. His hands cramped and wrists locked up in an instant.

Other than the dull ache in his wrists, the sights of the complex soothed him in a way. He'd never really left his section of the apartments. He didn't have a reason to venture off further into the building until now. He never found use in getting used to the building right across from his.

It was soothing somehow. To see that outside of his little bubble and world existed more than just him. There was more than just his world. There were the doormats that correlated with each person's personality, people he didn’t even know existed.

For a second he paused in thought, at the idea that he may be exploring the area guitar man lived. It was the same building, just across his own, somewhere. In that second he sighed, hoping that wherever they were today, they were healthy and happy. Wishing luck for someone he didn't even know.

He’d never really know, however. The halls were confusing and had no windows to indicate location. The minute he stepped a foot off the elevator and went down the first hall he forgot where he was, if he was left or right or east or west he would never know.

But thankfully, the minute he reached the last hallway he saw those numbers on the package, apartment 430. Yeonjun sighed in relief, finally being able to knock on the right door and relieve his sore wrists. Resting the box with his one arm against the jut of his hip he knocked on the door. As he heard shuffling inside of the apartment he suddenly felt the embarrassment of just showing up in his pajamas to a stranger's house. Especially with it being in the afternoon, where pajamas weren't that appropriate.

That is until the door opened and he instantly felt underdressed and embarrassed. Of course, the person who had to open the door would have to be none other than the cute cafe guy he saw a while back. Even he looked more dressed up than Yeonjun did, with actual pants on rather than Yeonjun's own plaid pajama pants.

Again, the moment their eyes met it was a flurry of panic and confusion. The same look and glint as the one he had those many days ago, brown orbs flurrying in something; a feeling he couldn’t recognize. No amount of writing or editing manuscripts would be enough for him to even define the look nor infer what it could mean.

“I hope you’re not stalking me,” The guy, now known as Beomgyu, spoke up.

Yeonjun froze for a second, "Uh n-no I'm not, I accidentally received your mail?"

“Unlikely story,” Beomgyu stared at him skeptically, “How did you find my place?”

He peeked his head a little into the hall, looking back and forth down the halls as if Yeonjun had an army of men waiting for him. There would never be enough room down these three feet wide halls for an ambush if that was what he was planning. The other still stared at Yeonjun like he’d attack him despite checking down both sides of the hall. Even if he were going to, he wouldn’t be able to with the package weighing him down.

“Uh, Your name and address is on the package,” He outstretched his arms to show him the label on top of the box, “See? I’m apartment 340, they just got the numbers wrong and the building. I’m from the building over”

Once he saw the label, Beomgyu's shoulders relaxed. Opening his door more than a tiny crack that let just his shoulders and head peer through.

“Oh ,” Beomgyu spoke with a breathy laugh and a nervous scratch to the nape of his neck. “That makes more sense than you stalking me”

Their first initial meeting had Yeonjun breathless, buffering in his shoes at the sight of such a cute guy. But he never really got to get a good look at the guy. Not this close at least.

He wasn’t rushing to be anywhere and he looked way more put together than that morning. Plus, it was only a couple of minutes of them meeting before he hurried off onto the sidewalk. Disappearing past the windows. It had been such a long time that even Yeonjun forgot the exact details of his face and the direction he ran off to.

This time his hair was neatly styled, laying just above his eyes as his bangs seemed to be grown out just a little bit. Hiding most of his eyebrows with his dark brown locks. His eyes were the same dark color, like a deep and strong coffee. Warm and inviting they stared back at him, piercing his core with just a slight glance.

He looked comfy too, in a sweatshirt and jeans. Just casual wear. However, it made him look even cuter, making Yeonjun almost flush at the mere sight of him.

“Thank you, I’m glad you brought it here I don’t think anyone else would’ve been so kind to do this,” Beomgyu smiled, “I’ll take it from you, it’s probably heavy”

As he handed the box over their fingers touched for a split second, and Yeonjun’s breath hitched. But he tried not to show that he was in any way bothered by this interaction. Acting as if he wasn’t completely smitten over someone he barely knew.

“It wasn’t a big problem, really it wasn’t. I was home anyway and I wasn’t busy, so it wasn’t much of a hassle to bring it over” He would not share how heavy the box was or how many doors and hallways he walked past and through to get here. Nor would he mention that he had work to do. Nope .

“Seriously, thank you. And for the other day, thank you for letting me go first. I was so close to being late for my lecture and you just… You made my day”

Yeonjun wouldn’t admit how happy that made him. How his heart soared inside of his chest and his body felt all giddy. Like a kid getting a toy or getting to eat candy before dinner. He had to try everything to calm himself down and not show that he was in any way excited that Beomgyu felt thankful towards him.

“No worries, you have a nice day alright?” Yeonjun said, dismissing himself.

"You sure you don't want to come in? I can make you a cup of coffee or something to pay you back".

"No, it's fine, I got to get to work in a bit. I wouldn't want to intrude. You have a great day though," he smiled. He also didn't want to implode right now. Especially when he looked like this, all casual and wearing his pajamas. No way would he let Beomgyu see him this casual again, now he had to think about looking good every day.

“Alright then, you have fun at work, again thank you!”

Yeonjun waved goodbye with a wink before walking off down the hall. Ready to walk and trek all the way back to his apartment and then scream into his pillow.

Moments like these were why he valued his days off. Not that he was found crushing on cute cafe boys every workday off, this was just a plus. But now he could take it all in, could sigh and go over his feelings like they were mere paperwork. Taking the pen to himself to edit a few things here and there, making slight changes for him to digest easily.

Because now he knew that cute college student boy who he let order before him, Choi Beomgyu, lived in his building. Someone he had rationalized as a one time meet. Those people you see in passing and never again do you see again, maybe once a year but it was never cyclic. It wasn't something you could predict and state, ‘they’ll be here at this time and date’ it was just something you accepted. The casual, ‘oh, them again, how surprising’ .

Yeonjun knew how unlikely it would be for him and Beomgyu to ever cross paths again. Especially with the size of the city and the many other cafes around the area that he could’ve gone to. Maybe he changed his order daily and went to other establishments, maybe his classes were on opposite sides of town and he’d only come to Yeonjun’s favorite place once a week.

Maybe that one day it was just convenient for him, sure the waiter Soobin had said he did that often. That he’d come in late all the time, rushing about and trying not to be late for his early morning lectures. However, the chance of him and Beomgyu just seeing each other at the same time were slim.

Until now, that is. He lived here. In Yeonjun’s complex, meaning that his favorite cafe was the only local place near here. And he’d come early to get his drink and walk to class, and Yeonjun’s schedule was only off by mere minutes in comparison to his. Maybe even seconds.

The thought of Beomgyu being so close to him and never having crossed paths before then… It made him giddy.

Maybe sunny days without his favorite symphony playing to start his morning weren’t so bad. Maybe he was starting to love these days just as much as the rainy ones. Though, he wished it would rain again soon, so he could tell the guitar person all about his feelings for this guy. Even if they were short fleeting feelings.

Even if they couldn’t hear him, he’d want to share that moment with them and bask in the ambiance of the rain trickling down his windows. Slapping against the windowsill until a puddle formed, a puddle he’d ignore for a while as he just enjoyed the feeling of the cold wind and water hitting his skin in the early morning.

____

Lauda

(noun)

Hymns of praise or devotion.

____

Sometimes, on the days it rained, it would go on well into the afternoon.

Just like normal rainy days, the mornings would be cold and his room would be dark and skies cloudy. The rain would pitter-patter against the windowsill and windows like always, following a music sheet the clouds created during the night.

But it would come down heavier, weighing the clouds down with how much water they'd been carrying. They'd weep, sobbing over the city and pelting the ground and windows with its violent storms. It was like a car wash with how the water cascaded against the class.

His body had gotten accustomed to the rain never coming. Gotten used to the long weeks of the sun, of the mornings without the person who filled him with joy. So this time he had no idea it would rain, his body hadn’t ached the night before like always. Even the weather announcements had no idea it would rain today.

And with the raging storm came the strums again, it was like an alarm, like a chiming of a bell announcing their arrival. It shook Yeonjun awake, having him shoot out of bed to press his head closer to the gap in the window he’d opened. Just to hear the sounds more clearly.

The notes were softer, the melody seemed to be sweeter than it usually was.

Whenever his neighbor would play in the morning like this, it would be tunes and songs of familiarity. They were songs of comfort, ones that felt like a quilted blanket on a couch covering your body after a nap in the afternoon. That warmth of happiness surging through you when you drank a drink you loved as a kid. It felt like home.

But now? Along with the sprinkling of rain, his neighbor's strums evoked feelings within him. Like a longing, a yearning for something more than that they have. Searching and wanting something out of reach or maybe out of your control.

It felt lonesome, yet paired with the trickling of water felt like a whole song, like harmony in fruition; complete. Because he could hear, he could feel the sadness that was threaded throughout the tune. And he could cry, he would cry. Hoping that whoever it was out there had felt him too, that they felt comforted by him sharing his own emotions with them. Having their own little private moment. Even if they didn’t know about it.

By the time the sun started to rise more and more, and the sounds of people leaving home and heading to work flooded in through his window, Yeonjun knew the rain would last the entire day. Uncommon but not unusual. The car's horn and people's feet slapping and splashing the puddles across the concrete were drowned out.

And this time, the guitar person stopped strumming.

Did they have something to do today? Yeonjun wondered, watching as the window stayed creaked open and curtains untouched. Maybe he was going to eat something…

Oh yeah, food.

He hadn’t eaten yet. So captivated by the music that he didn’t feel time passing. When mere seconds become minutes and eventually hours of him sitting by his opened window listening to this mystery person strum and strum.

His stomach started to growl in disappointment, guess I have to eat. Yeonjun huffed as he rose to his feet, shuffling to the kitchen.

Of course, as he cooked his mind was elsewhere. Body going into autopilot as he scrambled his eggs into his leftover kimchi fried rice, capturing glimpses outside of his window. It was like he'd see the person behind it all, that he'd capture just a little shot of their shadow across the curtains. It never happened, of course, it didn't.

He felt childish. Like he was a kid, waiting for his toys to secretly move when he left the room.

Or like he was searching for the fairies that were said to sleep in flowers during the night. Hoping that once they bloomed again, he’d catch a glimpse of their delicate wings and soft faces sleeping peacefully.

But things didn’t work that way, even if he wanted it to.

And as he ate, the cool winds brushed past his curtains, fluttering them about in the sweetest dance. Just as his did, so did his neighbors. It was if they too were talking together, enjoying their time together even if it was fleeting. Shuffling his feet against the cold floorboards, he took a seat at his desk. Pulling his legs underneath himself to sit comfortably, staring out his window.

“Are you eating well, neighbor?” He spoke into the emptiness of his apartment. Their curtains fluttered as if to say, “Yes, are you?”

"I am… leftovers."

He felt crazy, scoffing at his childishness as he cheered, tipping his plate of food as if he and his neighbor clinked their plates together. Making a toast to them. But once more as he finished, the music started up again.

Replaying the same notes over and over again for a while, almost as if the person forgot the chords to play. He could only smile at the thought of them getting frustrated, throwing themselves on the floor, or huffing. Trying once more to play the correct notes. And like always, they did, with ease they picked up the tune again. Only slowing down the strums when it seemed like they were trying to remember the other notes, or like they were reading a music sheet to catch up with what they already knew.

Yeonjun would say these days were his favorite. The days when the rain would last all day. Because he wouldn’t be alone, he’d hear his neighbor playing so beautifully like this along with the rain comforting him like the sweetest hug.

The one thing that made him rip away from his peace was his phone's alarm dinging from the comfort of his home. It was like a pullback into reality, like your headphones unplugging on you, forcing yourself to accept the real world and its not-so-pretty sounds. And then he was reminded of the one thing he seemed to be putting off today.

Work.

He had new manuscripts to pick up, meaning he'd have to leave this peaceful morning of music and rain. Which of course he didn't want to do, at any moment his neighbor would stop their playing. And he didn't know when it would start up again or if it would start up again. Nor did he know if it would ever rain again like this ever again. Yeonjun was afraid of that.

Afraid that maybe it wouldn’t rain ever again. Like before, when it took weeks and weeks of sunny skies and calming chilly mornings before it rained. But he also knew that if he didn’t pick them up and start his work then he wouldn’t have the money to pay his bills. And he quite frankly liked his apartment and the view and sounds it brought with it.

So with a huff, he got up, unfinished food long forgotten as he tossed the plate onto his counter. Deciding that just his robe and slippers would suffice for simply picking up his mail. Letting his fingers card through his hair, taming his messy locks from the long night of rest before he left the apartment.

Once the door closed, the rain and music stopped. Silence taking over the hall. The only sound that echoed in the halls was his shuffling feet around the hall floorboards, lazily making his way to the elevator.

The box that sat outside of his tiny mailbox was one of relief along with irritation. Any other day it would be like a gift to him, the papers confined inside of it would smell of comfort. It would be perfect on a day like this, to open the box and work with the rain as his background music.

But now he felt more antsy, like missing a show coming back from commercials. Waiting for a conversation to end so you can run off to do what you’ve been waiting for. Excited, running wild within himself but being confined in a box.

“Excuse me,” He heard someone say under their breath, shuffling past the other residents that were leaving and entering the building.

Fingers busy with the key, trying to open its door. Moving over when someone reached their hands for their mailbox.

“Oh, It’s you”

Yeonjun froze for a second, turning to the source of the voice. Of-fucking-course, it had to be Beomgyu. Walking beauty he was, hair all styled up in loose waves and an outfit that read 'college student ' all over it. He didn't know his age, but he knew he was younger. It was in his face, in his eyes, and the way they looked around. The way his bomber jacket hung off his shoulders with just a simple graphic tee underneath. He was gorgeous.

Beomgyu had given him a look, eyes scanning down his frame in curiosity and again. Yeonjun was overtaken with embarrassment. His cheeks flushed, ears burning up, "I swear I have real clothes"

The other laughed, giggling behind his hands full of mail, “You sure? You look pretty comfy to me”

“We always seem to cross paths. Especially when I look like a mess,” Yeonjun said with a huff, closing his mailbox. Picking up the box of manuscripts as well.

“Well hopefully next time we do see each other, it’s on a good day then,” Beomgyu smiled, letting his thumbs loop in his belt loops.

“Yeah, hopefully”

And with a gentle push of a finger against the mailboxes door, it shut with a metallic clank. Winking and throwing finger guns Yeonjun's way before walking off down the hall. The opposite from where Yeonjun walks with a sway to hips, like he knew he looked good. He knew he was attractive and knew he was making Yeonjun's heart go wild.

Just like the rain that pelted against the concrete outside, his heart rattled too. Violently yet so peacefully inside of his chest, like sounds of wind chimes inside of him. He was left peacefully, hands holding onto his mail as he let out a sigh.

He was enamored completely with his neighbor. Just as he was with the rain, with the cool feeling of the wind and rain splattering against his skin whenever he got close. He felt his heart race and his lungs filling in with the freshest air.

____

Paean

(Noun)

A song of praise.

____

With the sunny days that came after those rainy nights, Yeonjun found himself waiting for the moment he and his neighbor would cross paths again.

For the night after, he could only stare mindlessly out the window. Watching the water droplets trickle down his windowpane, head laying against his crossed arms. Staring out the window, he could see the light inside of the apartment across from him, the way his neighbor's curtains still showed nothing but reflections and shimmers of light. He couldn't see if they were there or even see the outlines of the apartment, just the light beating down on the fabric's surface.

“What are you doing up so late at night?” He found himself asking.

His apartment was dark with him already laying down on his bed. Letting the weight of his blanket comfort him and the sight outside console him. What could his neighbor be up to at this time? Were they also lost in thought like he was? Waiting for sleep to slowly overcome him so he could just stop thinking for once?

But the morning came and with it the sun. With clear skies just as he had begged that night, softly asking the fog that settled across the roads and lingered in the air. Shutting his eyes to the street lights and finally being able to rest when the light from the window across from him also shut off.

“Please, let it be a good day,” He had whispered into the night. Where no one but he and the objects in his room could hear him.

Yeonjun had awoken with more hop in his step than usual. With his eyes lingering around the complex and everywhere he went.

Not only did he take longer to get dressed, second-guessing himself, and any decision he made. He didn't know if any day or second would be the moment he and Beomgyu would cross paths again.

Always having to look his best, he'd run his fingers through his hair more than once and apply lip balm whenever he felt even a hint of dryness across his lips. His eyes would linger in many places and directions as if he would see even just a glimpse of the other.

Every day he'd come and stay a little longer in the cafe in the morning, even deciding to visit it during lunch periods. Where he usually would stay in his office, eating whatever his other coworkers had brought in. Drowning himself in the piles and piles of paperwork he needed to sort out and give reflections on to the manager. But now he felt like a lost puppy, searching for someone who'd never show up. Though giving up wasn't an option, not for him at least.

And when the days dragged on with no end in sight, without even a hint that he’d see his neighbor ever again. He sighed and got a larger drink and meal to drown his sorrows in.

Like now, as he rambled out his order to the smiling waiter in front of him, his chest felt heavy and he felt silly. As if he dressed his best for school and it was canceled anyway, like his efforts he built up was just crumbling down before him.

Although they were his clothes, he felt like he was dressed silly in a costume. His leather jacket seemed oddly heavy on his shoulders, and he felt hotter due to the black turtleneck he'd tied with it. The sun beat down on him on his walk here, and his square-toed leather Chelsea boots weren't helping to cool him down either. He just felt so…

Stupid.

Yeonjun felt like a date had stood him up, despite not even knowing much about Beomgyu. Despite not even having made a promise or a plan to actually hang out. It was just… In the air. It was a possibility not set in stone, and yet, he felt disappointed about it all. He felt his stomach sink and he could only let out a sigh. Hoping that single breath would pick himself back up from the ground he had crashed onto.

He made his way to a seat, waiting for his food and drink at a single table near a window. Thoughts stilled as he stared out to the street in front of him. To the passing people down the sidewalk and the cars that slowly traversed passed the hectic and crowded street.

Soon enough he heard the plastic clank of the tray of his food and drink hit his table, one familiar and soft. One he’s heard for a while now, like the sound of a bird chirping or a store bell ringing as the door opens. It was one registered but one not as important or special, one only memorized. Just part of the many mundane sounds that filled the world. Just like the ramblings of the other people in the cafe, eating and drinking and talking amongst themselves, he’d drown out their shuffling feet and chatter.

“Thank you, Soo--” He began to speak, words he also memorized. Like silk, they smoothly came out of his mouth like the chorus of a song. That is until his eyes were met with the person he’d been looking for, for what felt like years.

Like a year without rain, he felt instantly nourished. It was like watching a wilted flower bloom once more after being doused in freshwater, being brought back to life as the sun beat on its delicate petals. He didn't even care about how dramatic he was being and how he was thinking. Because he felt as if a warm blanket had been placed on him during a cold night, just that lovely feeling of warmth spreading through him just by seeing Beomgyu in front of him.

“Heard you were looking for me?” He said with a smile, leaning himself on the palms of his hands pressing against the table. His voice was like thick honey, Yeonjun doesn’t think he’s heard anything sweeter before now.

Even now, he looked breathtaking. The cute oversized cardigan over a simple white shirt, it laid nicely across his chest. The collarbones that peaked out to say hello made him flustered just to even glance at them. To even be in their presence.

Though he looked softer, more teddy-bear-like than he usually did. When his shirts were looser and tucked into his jeans which in comparison were tighter, hugging his form as he walked. Beomgyu looked like a cute rebellious college student. But now he looked mature yet youthful at the same time.

Yeonjun could only nervously chuckle, fidgeting with the tray between his forefingers as he pulled it towards himself, almost as if shielding himself, “Soobin told on me, didn’t he?”

Beomgyu could only giggle, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from Yeonjun with ease. Suddenly his clothes no longer weighed him down, he felt shy if anything. His feet shuffling under the table and he hoped he didn’t brush his feet against the others across from him.

"Yea he's a little snitch," And as if on cue, they both turned over to look the waiter's way. Laughing together once more when he started to smile sheepishly and walk back through the kitchen doors. Them swinging silently to a close dramatically after letting him through.

Yeonjun wondered if he could recognize his look of appreciation from that far away. He hoped he did.

The way Beomgyu carried himself looked calm and chill, his legs crossing over as he picked at the blueberry muffin on the tray. He seemed so suave as if nothing bothered him and like his pores oozed confidence. Yeah, Yeonjun concluded, he knew how hot he was, he had to.

Yeonjun didn’t even know how nor why he was so hung up over this person anyway. Beomgyu was just someone he happened to come across, one who bewitched him. Who charmed him like the sweetest potion, or the kindest spell.

One look at him and he was overtaken with emotions, like the first time he saw a constellation in the sky. That innocent heartbeat that sang to him with his cheeks getting rosy as he slowly fell for the pretty ball of earth in the sky. Even if it was so far from him, he couldn’t help but fawn over it. Like he was now, comparing someone he just met to a star he couldn’t help but sigh in wonder about.

He felt poetic about his feelings because that's all he knew how to be. His thoughts rambled on and on through book quotes and poems and hymns he'd drowned himself in at work. Even if they had just recently met, and Beomgyu's name was so new to him that sometimes his tongue fumbled over the syllables. He felt like those characters that just know they were meant to find one another. Like they knew the rough drafts plan. He felt like somehow… this was meant to happen.

“Well,” Yeonjun smiled, taking a sip of his drink to calm down his warming cheeks, “I have been looking for you”

“And you’re dressed this time,” Beomgyu winked and for a second he felt as if his heart stopped. His breath hitched in his throat and he could only smile all dopey. The things this guy could do to him were all new to him, he’d never felt this way before. Even if he couldn’t quite name the sensation.

“Thankfully I am,”

He didn’t think he said anything funny but Beomgyu had almost buckled over in laughter like he was John Mulaney. It only fueled him further to try and get that laughter again, laughing lightly along with him. Yeonjun could just feel the way fairies were given life by the sounds of his laughter.

“I don’t know,” Beomgyu spoke with a curious tilt to his head, his eyes scanning down Yeonjun’s form. Startling a familiar flame inside of him.

“I kind of miss you in your pajamas,” he reached out towards Yeonjun’s body, fingers gliding against his jacket's lapel to then run his necklace chain between his fingers, “But this is nice. Where are you going all dressed up like this?”

“Work, actually. W-well I’m on break, what about you?”

He smiled so effortlessly and Yeonjun swore he heard flowers somewhere fawning over it. “I just got out of my contemporary art classes”

“You’re an art student?” he asked, pushing his tray closer to Beomgyu. Not even minding that he was still eating his muffin, no not all. If anything he felt proud, like he was a best friend or a parent proud of their child's achievements. Connecting instantly with the saying, ‘I feel full by watching you eat’.

"Yea, I major in cinematography and video production"

"That's so cool, I took some art studies classes when I was in college," Yeonjun swore he could see some sort of sparkle in Beomgyu’s eyes. Like he had fired up something inside him to get him glowing like this. And like always, he wished to see this sort of glow from him again, no matter what it would take him to do.

"So what do you do now art guy? You’re dressed all businesslike,” he gestured to his body once more, fingers dancing around the cuff of his sleeve for more emphasis. And for a second Yeonjun could feel the warmth of his skin against his hand for just a second.

"I work at a publishing company, I’m part of the editorial team"

"That’s so cool! What’s that like?”

Yeonjun had never seen someone's eyes light up the way Beomgyu's did at hearing his job. He looked so genuinely interested like Yeonjun had told him this amazing thing. I mean, he loved his job, but he's never seen someone share that passion and love for it like Beomgyu was showing right now. No, even his parents were that excited, and every phone call to them he could feel their eyes rolling over in disappointment.

“It’s like… Seeing a painting before and after it’s done. Like that spoiler feeling,”

He didn’t know what he said, but it seemed to be the right thing to say based on the fond look Beomgyu was throwing his way. Like that… soft look you’d give a sunset or a sweet animal in the wild. And he couldn’t handle the way his body was heating up, the way his core shook under his gaze.

"That sounds so nice, I work part-time for a retail shop"

“Sounds fun,” He teased, taking a sip of his drink.

“Oh yeah totally, I love refolding the same clothing rack over and over again because teens love rummaging through them and not even attempting to clean up after,” although he was recalling an annoying part of his job, the smile on his lips was playful and light, eyeing Yeonjun down with a teasing flare.

“I can imagine, it sounds like hell”

Beomgyu nodded, “Children are the devil,” he said matter-of-factly.

Yeonjun replied with a lifted brow, “Aren’t you a child still?”

Beomgyu pouted, sending a glare his way. Though there wasn’t any malice in his eyes, no, they were playful and sweet. Like he could see the happiness and bubbliness forming in the glimmer of light in his pupils. Like they were stars twinkling in the night, burning a hole through his being.

“I’m twenty, technically an adult”

“If you have to say technically, It’s technically not true,”

He loved rousing and teasing the younger. Especially when Beomgyu would get that glint in his eyes, his cheeks would plump up with a smile and he’d laugh like Yeonjun was the funniest person on the planet. Laughter that would render him speechless with just his heart stuttering in his chest, not knowing what to do with itself.

“I may be an adult, but I still feel off , y’know?” Yeonjun leaned back in his chair, taking in a deep breath.

“Like you’re still at home with your parents and your alarm going off makes you panic because you think you’re late for class?” Beomgyu chuckled.

Yeonjun could only sigh understandingly, “Yeah I’m twenty-two and I still have that awkward feeling of having to be an adult but still feeling like graduation was like… Yesterday”

“I feel you, I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling that way though”

“Me too, glad to have a familiar face around sharing the same stupid emotions of young adult-hood”

And for what felt like endless hours which were mere minutes, in reality, they talked. About themselves, their worries, like for once their personal filters and censors had turned off just for them to have a conversation. With every word said and information leaked to one another, Yeonjun felt relief but also… Scared. Relief that all the weight on his shoulders and pressure in his chest was gone, that his worry of never finding someone to connect to was also gone. However, because his words spewed so freely he was scared that he'd said too much, or that he'd scare Beomgyu off.

However, he never did leave or seem awkward when they spoke. He too was talking about himself, things he'd never say to anyone else but for some reason trusted Yeonjun to hear him out. To listen to him and respect him. And Yeonjun felt himself blush all over, surprised that this beautiful guy in front of him seemed to beam the brightest of suns and his eyes twinkled like he had stolen the stars in the sky.

And Yeonjun felt at ease when his break was over and Beomgyu handed him his phone from his pocket with a smile,

“So we can keep in touch, would love to have a friend in my complex”

He only felt a little sad that their conversation was over and that it would be a while before he saw him again.

“Then I’ll be sure to come over and borrow your sugar,” Yeonjun replied with a smile on his lips.

“Please do”

However with that friendly smile, Beomgyu had thrown his way, he felt his heart swell up all over again. He felt calmer and more at ease now, as if that look in the younger's eyes were talking to him. Like there was a secret promise behind them.

And even now, with the things he’s saying had Yeonjun smiling from head to toe. Overwhelmed by happiness knowing just like this, they’d be seeing one another very soon. He wouldn’t tell anyone else this, but he definitely skipped back to work and couldn’t get any work done when he got back. Too busy giggling and smiling excitedly to even read a word on a sheet. He just hoped his coworkers didn't notice.

____

Brioso

(Adjective)

With spirit, vigor, or vivacity.

____

For the next couple of times Yeonjun and Beomgyu crossed paths, it was not set up whatsoever. It was pure coincidence.

However, all the romance books he’d edited that week would say otherwise. They’d claim the world shifted just for them to meet in the most unlikely of places. The words would go on and on for pages about how the sunlight against their skin foresaw the future. That even the stars above were rooting for them.

Though sometimes he did feel like it was planned. He knew that wasn’t the case. But maybe, that was also his mind being too hopeful. Yeonjun was a romantic at heart. Those words in all those romance books always made his heart flutter and sing. But he knew that the real world wasn’t like that. Even if he found himself preaching those words to himself.

Beomgyu’s number stayed in his phone, untouched for a while. Other than the simple ‘get home safe’ text to the ‘good morning’s they exchanged; they never texted more than that. Nor did they plan to hang out. They just happened to cross paths.

Endless nights Yeonjun would stay up, staring at the contact in his phone. Scrolling through the past couple of messages and he’d sigh. Throwing his phone beside him on the bed and throwing himself back against his pillows as well.

He’d look over to his window, curtains pulled back and window ajar. His neighbor always seemed to be up around this time as well. As if they were in tune were their feelings and worries. Their apartment lights would cast a glow into his room, curtains fluttering with the soft wind of the night.

The chill air against his cheek had him casting his blanket over himself. He didn’t know what to say, what to even text a person like Beomgyu. He knew a little about him but he was still worried he’d say the wrong thing.

“What would you do?” He found himself asking his neighbor.

And their lights would shut off. Taking it as a sign, Yeonjun stuffed his face into his pillow to sigh.

“You’re right, I should sleep”

Some mornings he'd see Beomgyu rushing out of his building's door, hair disheveled and most likely late to class. While he had barely made it out of the building's front door. Apart of him wanted to call after him, but he found it too late. Kicking a piece of rubble out of frustration.

Other mornings, he’d catch glimpses of him leaving the cafe in the morning or walking around with his bag hanging heavy on his shoulders. Whenever their eyes would meet they’d wave and share a smile, and even that was enough to satiate him for the day. Even if a small part of him wished they at least shared words.

But other days, he’d see him patiently waiting in the cafe, leaning against a booth as he swung his legs. And when their eyes would meet he’d wave cutely his way. Sometimes he’d wiggle his fingers hello, other days, he’d lift his hand in the air and wave excitedly. Rubbing at his eye with a yawn as he did it or sometimes he’d stretch.

Yeonjun couldn't describe the feeling in his chest knowing that Beomgyu was going out of his way to wake up early. For him? He’d ask himself, but he didn’t want to sound all egotistic as if he was the underlying reason Beomgyu was changing his sleep schedule.

It could’ve been for classes if anything but a small part of him still felt special. Chest bubbling up with glee.

The first time he saw him there waiting, Yeonjun felt his heart pounding in his chest. Blocking out the outside world with the sounds of his stuttered breathing and the feeling of his body heating up all over.

Beomgyu could wear a potato sack and he was sure he'd still be feeling this way by the mere sight of him. All he was wearing was a white t-shirt with a large grey sweatshirt over it with jeans. Its zipper was down to the chest, letting it be free and open. Its sleeves were only hanging onto his shoulders.

He looked comfy, yet like a model with the way his skin shined. For a moment Yeonjun felt underdressed, awkwardly shifting in his sweatshirt and jacket as he approached the younger.

The cafe was barely busy on mornings like this and that was his favorite part about it. Leaving them to be in their little world where no one but them mattered. Where he could talk and stare at the younger without anyone questioning him.

“You know, you could’ve texted me if you wanted to meet up like this?” He asked with a grin on his face.

“Where’s the spontaneity in that?” Beomgyu replied with a huff as he pushed himself up to stand up straight. Leaning even closer into his personal bubble. And he didn’t even mind.

This little banter they had between each other happened often. But it was still jarring, having Yeonjun’s brain almost melt and malfunction. Because Beomgyu’s words were always soft but genuine. He never said things just for the shock factor or to ruse a feeling out of someone.

They were weighty. And held meaning behind them. Sometimes he couldn't even define the meaning behind them as if he spoke in tongues. And boy did he want to know the translations for those words. He wanted to know if this was flirting or just a friendly conversation he had with everyone.

“What if I had today off?” he teased back, pushing back his thoughts about leaning in a bit closer and kissing Beomgyu right then and there. It was a tempting thought, the way he’d run his tongue across his bottom lip like it was nothing.

"You didn't seem to give up on me that easily, 'member?" Beomgyu lifted a brow teasingly, and Yeonjun tried to calm down his flaming cheeks. Flustered by the heavy eye contact Beomgyu was having with him. Always seeming to want him in his sights.

“You are something else…” Yeonjun sighed in contentment.

And as if they did this regularly, Beomgyu took the lead in picking a table for them to sit at. Leading Yeonjun with his fingers hooking on his jacket sleeve cuff, pulling him along.

Beomgyu sat first after letting go of his sleeve, pushing out the chair across from him with his feet. Smiling cheekily as he did so, eyes locking in on Yeonjun’s own like always.

His looks meant something more as well, something bigger. The cute look he'd give after doing something spoke volumes about who he was. Beomgyu was a caring person who likes doing things for others. They were natural actions of him to pull a chair out, without asking for anything in return.

And that made Yeonjun fall for him even more. Because he wanted more of this, he wanted to know what else made Beomgyu work.

These days, when they both woke up early and had coffee together became a regular occurrence. Despite living in the same building they found joy not in walking to the cafe together but seeing each other already there, waiting for each other.

They’d talk over coffee peacefully and then go their separate ways. Beomgyu would leave first, waving goodbye and adjusting the bag on his shoulder before going on his merry way. Leaving Yeonjun to watch him leave with a content sigh.

And when he’d feel eyes on him from the waiter, he’d shrug and say,

“What?”

As if he didn’t know what was going on.

____

Dolce

(adjective)

Meaning to be performed sweetly or delicately.

____

Like always, Yeonjun’s morning started amazingly.

It didn't rain, no, the sky had no cloud of any kind. Instead, it was clear, leaving the warmest of blues to paint the sky. The stars would hang around by the horizon before they slowly disappeared as the sun rose. Some days the moon would even say a little hello throughout the morning sunrise.

The birds would chirp their morning tunes, echoing between the tall buildings and through the streets down below. A natural alarm clock for the world. Where the flowers started to bloom once they heard the signal and even the weeds that grew from the cracks in the concrete would slowly wake up.

And to Yeonjun as well, it was a signal for his day to start. He’d started getting used to waking up minutes before his alarm. Waking with warmth running through his veins as he stretched with a sigh.

He could never remember his dreams but all he knew was that they left him with a glow and light shudders. From that, he knew that today would be a good day. From his alarm about to be set off within minutes and the text messages on his screen from his favorite person, he was happy.

Stretching as he sat up, he let his blankets slip off his shoulders. Shivering with another yawn, a small hello to the chill morning air in his room. Looking out his window to see his neighbor's curtains closed shut he couldn't help but sigh contently. Unlike him who was up early, he couldn't help but think they were sleeping in today. And he hoped that just like him, they were going to have a good day too.

The rain hadn't come for a while now. Just a couple of light afternoon showers that left the world misty and the leaves and petals of plants to glow with their own natural highlight. But for some reason, he wasn't as let down as he would've been. Now he had something else to look forward to.

He loved those mornings full of the rain violently pelting down on the world, those days the clouds would sob were amazing. But now he had plans to fill his morning with when it was clear and sunny. He slowly was falling in love with those nice clear days.

Rolling out of bed he got up and strutted straight to his closet. Rummaging through the hangers for something nice to wear, worried as if he would be cut from fashion week if he dressed ‘wrong’. Picking up shirts and pants, he’d test wear them in the mirror to make sure he looked presentable. Holding the fabric against his chest and legs to see how they’d look or if they matched.

Jokingly he turned to his windows once more, “You think this looks nice?”

“No, right?” before turning back to his mirror and putting them back on the rack, shaking his head as he did so.

It's not like he'd be graded based on what he wore, however, he found himself more aware of what he wore and how he looked. Especially when Beomgyu was now in his equation of life. That being claiming to be human, which Yeonjun doesn't believe; he has to be a fairy of some sort.

Their morning endeavors had become a daily thing where they'd wake up early and meet at the cafe. Every morning they’d do this. They’d drink coffee and talk and bask in each other's presence.

Well, he did, at least.

Finding that the morning light across Beomgyu’s features was enough to make his cheeks heat up. His lashes were short but plentiful, constantly fluttering against his cheeks. With eyes that twinkled whenever he talked, shimmering wonderfully like every thought intrigued him. Honestly, he felt like a child with a first crush. As if he would burst at the seams if his crush were to just touch him or look his way.

He often wondered how Beomgyu saw him. There was nothing wrong with staring and checking people out even in platonic ways. Though he wouldn’t say the way he stared at Beomgyu’s eyes glowing golden in the morning light was anything less than romantic. He wondered if the younger memorized the way his lips moved when he talked and pronounced every vowel and consonant like he too had been doing for a while now.

Like staring at the way his fingers looked when they'd curl around his cup of coffee. Or noticing the way different fabrics ran across each body part. Like loose shirts that sleeves hung low on the shoulders, pants that ran tight around his hips but loose at the bottom seam, and how certain sweaters fabric bunched up at his elbow when he pulled the sleeve up to his arm.

Yeonjun had started to grow attached to him always being there. Like a cup of coffee to start the day, Beomgyu had become a part of his routine. If he wasn’t there or there was a day they didn’t speak or see each other he felt as if the world was just wrong.

Beomgyu's presence on its own was like a cold drink of water dribbling down your throat on a hot day. Like the shower water matting down your hair as it cascaded down your face. Taking in a first breath of air when you walk outside after a while of being holed up in your room. He became something so positive and present in Yeonjun's life that he felt like he'd die without him now. Like a lifeline, he couldn't let go of. A breath he didn't want to let go.

Waking up early had more meaning to him now. And the cold morning air against his skin was bearable only because he knew that he'd see the younger male soon. Ignoring his senses became something so natural when he could only hear the humming of his heart and the whispers in the air. The sounds of the heels of his boots clicking rampantly underneath him were ignored as well. All that mattered was his destination. Not the burning in the soles of his feet.

On his usual cold morning walk to the cafe, he’d be immersed in the world around him. His steps would be longer and draw out as he gazed up at the sky above, wondering if someone out there felt the same way he did.

Staring at the cracks in the sidewalk he'd wonder how long it would take for the floor below him to be nothing but grass. The concrete slowly eroding to make room for plant life. Thinking of all the plants and flowers he knew.

However, now he couldn't focus on a single detail. Like how the clouds were different than yesterday, how the street lamps have started to flicker, or how he almost stepped in a couple of puddles. Instead, the cold morning wind sent chills throughout his body, making him shiver in excitement instead of cold. Unable to contain his feelings he couldn't help but almost skip and walk a little faster than usual. He didn't want to make Beomgyu wait too long. So he didn't mind how his steps became more fast-paced and erratic.

Because he no longer had to wonder if there was someone else out there feeling the same way as him. He had Beomgyu waiting for him, a person that showed him compassion and easily became his friend with their little interactions with one another. He didn’t have to stare sadly out his window towards an apartment whose tenant didn’t know he existed and didn’t know he was yearning for them. Though he still did it anyway, he didn’t feel as lonely doing it now as he did then.

And when the cafe was in his view his footsteps halted. Buckling over to catch his breath, hands on his knees to balance himself. Hiding behind the cafe building just in case Beomgyu would’ve caught a glimpse of him.

Yeonjun liked to take a peek at the younger before he got a glimpse of him first. Peering his head out to look at him he took it all in, like a sunrise so beautiful you have to stare at it until it went away. And there he was, waiting. He only wore a flannel shirt with a plain black tee underneath tied with jeans, and as always his shirt was tucked in the front of his pants. Of course, he looked effortlessly beautiful in it.

Beomgyu stood at his usual spot, leaning against the back of a booth. Cutely he waited for the elder, his feet shuffling in boredom kicking at the tiles. Sometimes he’d blow lip bubbles, or just nod at nothing.

Laughing breathlessly to himself he came out of hiding and slowly trudged forward. The younger was so innocent and patiently waiting, seeming to be vibing to the cafe's ambiance. Not knowing Yeonjun was slowly approaching him.

Seeing Beomgyu waiting there for him would never cease to amaze him. Happy that the younger even liked his presence so much that he made it a daily thing for them to see each other before starting their day full of work.

The younger seemed too wrapped in his own little world to notice that Yeonjun had pushed the glass doors open. Not even registering the soft jingle of the cafe bells to announce his arrival.

It wasn’t until Yeonjun had leaned down to whisper in his ear did he notice his presence,

“Morning”

“AH!” Beomgyu screamed as he turned to look at the source of the voice.

Luckily the cafe was nearly empty. Only a few waiters on shift had been staring at them but it still had Beomgyu's cheeks flaring red with embarrassment. It was the cutest thing he's ever seen.

His brows were furrowed as he planted a smack across Yeonjun’s arm. Crossing his arms after with a huff. Cheeks puffed up with his lips pouting in anger.

“What is wrong with you?” he asked with a whine. Wiping nonexistent dust off his clothes, smoothing over the fabric of his shirt. He tried not to coo at the sight of the flannel shirts sleeves pulled past his palms. Smiling at the idea of seeing Beomgyu with sweater paws more often.

“Oh c’mon, you scare me all the time. This is revenge, my dear” Yeonjun said matter-of-factly with confidence he conjured up from somewhere unknown.

It seemed that whenever Yeonjun was with Beomgyu his confidence seemed to skyrocket immensely. It was all so intense and so unfamiliar to him. He was usually timid and quiet, never wanting to be the center of attention. On occasion, he was when he was at work, during meetings when it was his turn to talk all eyes would be on him. However, he was never confident when he spoke even if he tried. He spoke forward most of the time, letting his thoughts and ideas be known but never did he boast or try to show off in any way.

When his coworkers he had been with for years even glanced his way he became shy and nervous. Their gaze made his walk wobbly and his footsteps would almost falter, afraid that he’d fall over or trip. Constantly he had to remind himself to not overwork himself which in the end would overwork himself anyways. He had always been that way.

Talking to Beomgyu made him nervous, but for some reason, his brain would forget all that for the moment. Letting him spew things he'd have never said before. His heart rate would pick up, heart pounding against his chest as he talked, and his cheeks would burn up like the hottest embers. But he wouldn't stop talking.

Because no matter how shy he was and lacked the confidence to do and say certain things. He knew deep down that Beomgyu valued and treasured his words and opinions. He was aware that the younger didn't have any bad bones in his body. Beomgyu wasn't rude, nor was he mean and downplayed how Yeonjun felt. He seemed to cherish even the smallest statements from him.

That alone helped him garner enough confidence in himself that although his words sometimes felt useless. Like his opinion didn't matter and his words were only feeble. Deep down he knew that Beomgyu thought of him as someone of importance, granting him the confidence to tease and reply with snarky remarks.

“Then my revenge will be drinking these,” he reached behind the booth to pick up a cup holder of drinks, ones Yeonjun had gotten every morning for his cowers.

He remembers when it happened for the first time and the younger had been nervous that morning. Bouncing on the balls of his feet as he asked if he got the order right.

‘You could’ve asked the waiter who usually takes my order’ Yeonjun had said. Trying to calm down the younger's nerves.

‘I wanted to do it on my own. No cheating’

It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for him. Now becoming an everyday thing between them.

“You have got to stop doing this,” Yeonjun huffed with guilt “I’ll never be able to pay you back”

“Oh be quiet, we're friends, I choose to get it for you every morning so don’t feel bad. If I didn’t want to keep paying for it I would’ve stopped by now”

“I know, but, still ”

Yeonjun felt guilty the first time Beomgyu had paid for his drinks and it didn’t stop when it became a normal every-day-thing to do. It gave them extra time to talk and for the coffees to cool off before he went off to work. It was sweet how the younger had taken that initiative but he still always felt bad.

Beomgyu shuffled on his feet a bit before handing the cup holder to Yeonjun, “If you feel bad and want to repay me then… walk me to my morning classes? If you have time, that is”

“Of course,” Yeonjun could only smile, nodding, “let’s go”

Any excuse to be with him longer was enough for him. He knew that if this ‘buying him drinks every morning’ was a problem that bothered him immensely that Beomgyu would stop it immediately.

Even though he felt slightly guilty, he still felt special. Because the younger was only doing this for him, to make him happy and to spend time with him more. And that made up for the tiniest bit of guilt that trickled into his heart. Especially when he was smiling his way and his eyes held the stars within them, twinkling so beautifully.

With Beomgyu leading the way like he always did the door behind them closed with a jingle of the bells above the door. And Yeonjun thought that might have woken him up as if this were merely a dream.

“It’s this way,” Beomgyu pointed to the left.

It was the normal direction Yeonjun usually went in for work, and for a second he pouted. Wondering how they never crossed paths before. Normally Beomgyu would go off to classes first, however, it seemed like Yeonjun didn’t pay that much attention to the direction he went in. He usually was just… enamored as he stared at Beomgyu leaving.

But even so, when they weren't talking and meeting like this it was sad how they never saw glimpses of each other on their way to work or on their way home. He wondered if they'd start seeing one another more outside of their morning meet-ups. The thought of it was enough to warm his chest up.

“Lead the way,” and by instinct, his hand moved to Beomgyu’s lower back. Letting him walk ahead of him but also making sure he knew he was there, and knew he was safe. That protective instinct to take care of someone younger than him.

Beomgyu's body for a moment stiffened and then relaxed under his touch. Like a cat, he seemed to melt under his touch within seconds. Back molding into his palms.

"Is this okay?" Yeonjun asked, letting his hands hover behind him. Scared he may have crossed a line of some sort.

“Mhmm, It’s okay"

Yeonjun could only nod, his heart racing for a split second until Beomgyu stepped closer to him. Letting their strides align as they walked beside each other. His hand stayed cupped at the younger's lower back, letting the younger lead the way. Their footsteps in sync.

Though they were barely touching it felt like his mind was frying. He liked this, this closeness between them as Beomgyu talked about his dream the night before. The way he talked so animated about his dream with his hands gesturing things had his heart soar. Especially how he kept eye contact with him as he talked like he was important.

As they walked down the sidewalks the younger lost his footing. Standing too close to the edge he took a misstep, foot scraping against the edge of the sidewalk. He almost fell over if it wasn’t for Yeonjun’s reflexes. It was so natural the way his hand held onto his waist and pulled him closer to him. Until their sides were clashing together and Beomgyu quickly grabbed onto the fabric of Yeonjun’s jacket like a lifeline.

“Are you okay?” he asked, softly pulling Beomgyu a little closer to him on the sidewalk. Until their chests were facing one another, giving him more foot room to balance himself on.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine," the younger reassured him, looking at his foot that slipped off. Inspecting his shoe he huffed a little, "I'm fine, just scratched my shoes"

"That's good," Yeonjun said yet he still found himself checking the younger out. Making sure that he actually was okay and not wincing in any way.

Beomgyu let out an airy giggle as he playfully hit his chest, "dude I'm fine!"

They may have not been that close or have known each other for that long. But he still felt like this was his best friend who was smiling so brightly in front of him. His smile that beamed felt familiar to him like he’d seen it in dreams or in passing. Yeonjun wanted to keep it fresh in his mind like this, so innocent and pretty. Especially with the sunrise dancing along his skin.

"Now, c'mon I got a lecture to go to," and he grabbed Yeonjun's hand, pulling him along down the sidewalk. However he wouldn’t budge, he stood his ground to tease and rile the younger up. Though it didn’t last long the way Beomgyu pouted, eyebrows furrowed adorably just as they had been that morning.

"Alright, I'm coming, just, stand on the inside, please. For my sake"

The younger scoffed as he walked back to Yeonjun’s side, terribly hiding a smile on his face. Safely tucked into his left side, letting his arm hook around Yeonjun’s waist as they walked.

“See now I’m all safe”

Yeonjun hadn’t paid attention to the way they walked at all. Loosely he took in the environment and his surroundings, but he didn’t retain anything. He got lost in the feeling of Beomgyu. Of his world.

Because as they walked he could smell the soft scent of Beomgyu’s hair. It was sweet and delicate like honeydew and sweets. With his body radiating heat so much that Yeonjun could feel his body heating up wherever the younger touched him.

But other than his hair he smelled of rain, of the thing he fell in love with. That same petrichor came off the nape of his neck and his collarbones like he was born in the drizzling rain on a hot summer morning. Warm like the hot concrete heating up from the sun beating on its surface. Yet refreshing like a big gulp of air after diving into the water.

“This is my stop,” the younger spoke. Breaking through Yeonjun’s thoughts.

Of course, he was too busy thinking about spending time with the younger that he didn't completely immerse himself in it. He was too busy daydreaming than sitting and appreciating the walk and talk they had. It only had him whining to himself for not treasuring every second spent with him.

Next time, if there is a chance at one; he’ll make sure to stay down to earth. Not letting his brain go all over the place. Next time he’ll take in the words the younger spoke, not just consuming the feeling of it. He’ll be immersed, he promises.

"I hope you have a good day, even though, you know, lectures are boring," He said, stepping away from the younger so he could properly look at him. However, he still stood close, letting the younger leave a hand on his shoulder as he talked. Though, he tried not to show that he was burning up inside, overwhelmed by just this simple touch.

Beomgyu shuffled on his feet, “You too! Doing paperwork all day has to be boring after a while”

“Text me when your classes are done?” Yeonjun asked.

“Of course”

They said their goodbyes with a smile, Beomgyu tracing his hand down his arm and then against his hand before walking off to his building. It was such a soft touch, yet it lingered in his mind. Leaving Yeonjun to yearn and long for him, almost reaching out to pull him back into an embrace.

And like the world could tell his feelings it rained later that day. On his way from work, it poured, pelting down his shoulders and back. His hair wet and soaked and matted to his forehead as he made his way to his building. Leaving puddles behind him as he walked.

His hand still burned, remembering just the tiny touch of Beomgyu's hand against his own. He held it close to him like he'd never have that feeling again. And the minute he made it into his apartment he shed his soaked clothes. Having them slap against the linoleum with a wet squelch.

He threw himself backward onto his bed, sprawling like a starfish across his sheets. And like a warm hug from someone you love, the strums of his favorite guitarist started to play through his open window. Comforting him as he wrapped his blankets around himself. Letting the sound of the guitar and the rain's melody lull him into slumber.

____

Giocoso

(adjective)

A piece played in a fun, joyful, and carefree manner.

____

Out of nowhere, it rained.

The morning that crept up Yeonjun's neck, shivers running down his body, was cold. During the night his foot slipped out from under his blankets leaving him freezing as he got up. His body was cold and stiff like his bones creaked when he shifted under the sheets.

Again he found himself rummaging through his closet to find something wearable. Tossing shirts and pants on his bed like a raccoon searching through a garbage can. His hair was up in all directions, too crazy to brush and tame. So he decided to turn on his straightener, pulling his pants on as he paced around. Waiting for the flat iron to heat up.

And yet in the midst of things it started to pour. His pants were on yet unbuttoned with his shirt halfway off of him and all he could do was freeze.

“Oh, c’mon,” he huffed out.

He didn’t know what to do now. His phone was lit up with messages from Beomgyu the night before, messages he got as he was falling asleep while they were talking. But then as he was anxiously pacing around the room, his footsteps in rhythm to the rain droplets falling onto the asphalt; he heard it.

Strums.

His neighbor played frantically, seeming to tune the guitar quickly, playing a few strums before stopping. Continuing to play a couple of calm seconds later.

It had started to become more frantic these days like somehow his neighbor knew his emotional state. The notes were smooth and soothing, sometimes messing up a note and they would start up the same tune again. But then it would switch to a more chaotic play, with their fingertips raking across the strings passionately. Strumming just to strum, to just feel the callus under their fingertips for once.

He had started to feel like that; being around Beomgyu had been so calm and smooth with those few missteps along the way. He'd redo those steps, making sure they were heard, and that you could clearly understand the note that was being played. And other days it felt like this, this chaotic and fast-paced strumming. Like his heart pounding against his chest erratically, the notes were somewhat similar but they didn't seamlessly fit together.

But even so, they were fleeting. Like if you weren't paying attention you'd miss one. It would muddy together until you couldn't tell what note was what. Or if notes were playing at all. Their meetings were few and sparse on their busy weeks, like those frantic strums. But they were still impactful to Yeonjun.

Some afternoons when the mail came in, he’d wait patiently by his mailbox, package in hand. Because he knew he’d hear those familiar footsteps clunking down on the linoleum hallway tiles. Bounce in their step as they approached the mailboxes, their keys twirling in their fingers and jangling in their grasp.

His body would freeze up, buzzing with adrenaline as Beomgyu approached. Yeonjun would busy himself, opening his mailbox that he already opened before as a coverup. Closing it swiftly he’d adjust the box on his hip to the front of himself after stashing his keys. Letting both his arms hold it, and then his eyes would catch Beomgyu’s own staring back at him. A small smile on his lips and his eyes waving hello.

“Hey, hyung,” He said as he approached Yeonjun.

"Hello, how was your day?" he asked as if they hadn't been texting since they woke up. It seemed like a secret between them and he couldn't help but get all giddy inside.

“Eh,” he shrugged, kicking the air with his foot.

Yeonjun chuckled, “So was mine, it’s been a slow day”

“Yeah. What’cha got there?” he swayed his shoulders as he asked. Looking as cute as ever in his light blue sweatshirt that laid soft across his body. Swallowing his frame and making him seem smaller… cuter.

“More scripts and screenwriting, we signed a contract with another author recently so my team is in charge of going through their work. Boring stuff.”

“Sounds cool,” Beomgyu said honestly, coming closer to rest his hands on top of the box, his fingers dancing across the tape holding it closed, “Could I take a peak?”

He shook his head causing the younger to pout, “I would lose my job”

The younger leaned in, their noses almost touching as he whispered, “I can keep a secret”

His face flushed, heart panging in his chest as yet he still found the confidence to smirk and answer back, “Oh really?”

“Mhmm,” he smiled, “I’m really good at it, I don’t kiss and tell, promise!”

Beomgyu lifted a pinky, showing it to Yeonjun as he nodded cutely as to say ‘see?’.

“Maybe one day,” Yeonjun replied as he began to walk away, letting the younger pull on the sleeve of his shirt, wrapping a hand around his arm so they could walk stride and stride.

"You're such a tease hyung," Beomgyu whined out before they got to their usual stop. The hall that separated their apartment buildings. Like a date that ended when it was getting really good, that sense of dread bubbled in his stomach.

This is when they'd kiss. In the books and the movies, this would be the climax where they pull one another in as if they needed them to breathe. Fingers getting entangled in the fabric of their clothes as they got frantic. As if they were sick and dying with the only cure being their lips pressing against one another. Yet it didn't happen.

Beomgyu’s small, warm hand slipped off his arm as he backed away, “Bye-bye, hyung,” He waved cutely as he disappeared through the building's doors. And if that wasn’t the thing that broke his heart, it was the text he sent him as Yeonjun took the elevator up to his floor.

‘Get home safe,’ followed by a ‘haha’

God, he was adorable.

But that was just one of their many interactions during their mail-time. They'd get their mail, then walk one another halfway to the entrances of their buildings. Then they'd text one another as they made their way into their apartments.

Those moments were tiny-little-strum moments, ones you could miss so easily. One’s he missed dearly. Even if they talked daily and he saw him in quick glimpses during his busy day, he still wished he could clearly hear those notes again. Like a tune in the breeze, mindlessly humming along until it was gone forever. And you couldn’t even remember what it sounded like, just the feeling you got from it remained.

But then there were impactful ones. Those violent strums without form, without focus, and without a proper ending. Those were something Yeonjun also had favored and loved. Those moments that were chaotically short yet hit a part of you so deep, like a knife plunged into his chest.

It happened a couple of times between the mundane moments of his life. When they'd see one another in a normal place that they had never noticed before. Like the sidewalk in front of his company's building, a place he'd never noticed Beomgyu walking down on his way home before. Or moments like this, where they'd see each other in the store, and he felt a rush of happiness and domesticity. Of all the times he'd lived here and frequented the grocery store near his apartment, he has never seen or even noticed Beomgyu before.

It could be argued that it was because he didn't know him, therefore not paying close attention to him. However, he knew very well that he would've noticed the younger before. If it had not been at the coffee shop, it would've been on the sidewalk or in the store. Beomgyu Isn't just someone he could ignore, or see in passing.

He’s bewitched by his charm, his smile, his laughter, and everything he is was something so beautiful to Yeonjun. He couldn't have just not noticed him. And yet here Beomgyu was showing up everywhere he's never seen him before. Like a word you didn't know and seeing it everywhere after learning its definition. It was weird, yet so welcomed.

But when he decided to go for his weekly grocery shopping after living off of coffee and ramen for weeks. There was his walking dream standing in an aisle, with a couple of items in his arms. Yeonjun didn’t think he’d be able to hold them so tightly if it wasn’t for his oversized hoodie. The fabric was like a net, keeping the boxes and cans of food upright in his smaller arms.

Rolling his cart closer to the younger, he couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle of laughter. It caught the attention of Beomgyu, his hair that fell over his face as he looked down stayed there over his left eye. Making him look smaller, shyer, and quieter than he actually was.

“Hey hyung,” he said with a smile, shaking the hair out from his face.

“You need help?”

"Uh," he looked down to the items in his arms, "I thought I'd be able to carry it"

"Guess you were wrong. Huh?"

The younger giggled with a small nod, "Guess so, yeah"

Beomgyu dumped his items into the cart after Yeonjun’s said it was okay to, nodding his head in the direction of the cart with a soft, ‘go ahead, It’s okay ’ followed by Beomgyu’s own soft thank you after.

“We can go shopping together, I don’t mind sharing a cart,” he smiled.

Beomgyu nodded, holding onto the cart's handle as they strolled down the aisle, “Thank you,” and like always he cutely locked eyes with the elder. His orbs were huge, bright, with a sense of stars hidden in his iris.

“I don’t need much," he looked ahead effortlessly. As if he didn't leave Yeonjun in a trance. As if he didn't know how he affected Yeonjun.

But he wouldn’t have minded if the younger had bought the entire store. He just always had the need to be there for him. To take care of him. It was his instincts, that part of him, that part of his culture that told him to care for those who were younger. But he also knew it was a bigger reason to take on this lover role of the younger. That part of him that yearned to be something, someone more than he was.

See, although these interactions, these meetings, were very brief it left long-lasting feelings behind. Ingraining into his very bone, until every movement creaked and cracked, echoing his yearning. Every footstep mirroring the beating of his heart as he rolled down the aisle. With his side burning, skin aflame as Beomgyu stood afar yet so close to him. Their steps aligning.

These thoughts, these memories faded away along with the strumming of the guitar. And he could hear again. The rain. The pitter-patter of water droplets against his windowsill.

He calmed down for a second as he sunk into his bed, taking a seat and throwing himself backward. The neighbors playing had quieted down as his thoughts had just seconds ago. As if they too were contemplating what to do mirroring his feelings exactly. The silence made him question his own questions. But he still didn't know what to do.

Yeonjun knew he couldn't just stay inside and ignore his friend to listen to a neighbor he barely knew. This is what prompted him to get up and get ready, to remove his heated iron from his sink and do his hair; to take this chance and see Beomgyu on his favorite days.

‘Don’t bring an umbrella, hyung’s got you’

He texted the younger on his way down to the lobby, his clear umbrella hanging down by his boots. As it hit the sides of boots, footsteps came up behind him. Yeonjun didn’t move, knowing exactly who it was.

All he could do was smile when hands covered his eyes, letting out a breathy giggle against the nape of his neck.

“Guess who?” the younger said, a smile clear in his voice.

Yeonjun put his hands over the others hands, melting as his palms overlapped them effortlessly, "Only one person could have hands this small"

“They’re not small!”

“Oh, yeah, they are,” Yeonjun smiled, interlacing their fingers together to see the younger’s being completely swallowed by his palms.

“Compared to yours, maybe,” Beomgyu said, letting his chin rest on Yeonjun’s shoulder, his chest pressing against his backside. If it weren’t for his trenchcoat covering him up he’d be burning all over. Trying to remember the heat of Beomgyu against him.

“Yeah, yeah, keep lying to yourself,” he scoffed.

Beomgyu slipped off from him, their hands slipping from one another's grasp. Making his way to stand in front, he grabbed the umbrella from the elder's grasp. Opening it up and heading towards the doors.

“C’mon hyung, don’t wanna be late-e-e,” He sing-songed, beckoning Yeonjun over with his pointer and middle finger.

Yeonjun shook his head, taking a look over at Beomgyu's outfit of the day; a simple large shirt tucked into skinny jeans. Not at all-weather appropriate.

He raised a brow in question, “You’re asking to get sick”

“I’ll be fine, we have an umbrella and my professor turns the heat up when it rains,” Beomgyu turned, offering his arm out to hook around Yeonjun’s elbow. Gladly he let the younger pull him in a little closer.

“Plus, It’s not going to rain for long”

“I hope,” Yeonjun said with a sigh, staring up at the sky. It was dark, the sky just a giant pool of grey. It rippled in places, just dripping constantly onto the world. Their glass door was dripping water down onto the entrance of the building, leaving a semi-puddle below them. If it wasn’t for their opened umbrella protecting them they’d be soaked.

Usually, on mornings like this, the deafening silence would become heavy on his shoulders. His feet would push him through anything, the cold winds, the restless crowds, and unavoidable traffic on the main road.

Yeonjun's drive came from the desire to see Beomgyu every day, that heat and restlessness that settled in the pit of his stomach. That want that bubbled in his chest. He'd run to get there faster, to calm down his heart. Trying to settle that feeling inside him.

But here his desire was, standing right next to him with their arms hooked. This never happened before. They never walked to the cafe together, understanding their differing sleep schedule, but also to build up suspense. To rile up their… desire… whatever Beomgyu had felt for him at least. It was intentional, he knew that much.

Like getting ready before an event. That surprise of what was going to happen, what they were going to wear. That visual wrapping paper. With an excited Yeonjun and his deft fingers waiting to unwrap the Beomgyu of today, what would it be? A comfy sweater with loose jeans? A hoodie? Or those other days when he'd be dressed up, button-down tucked into slacks? Somehow every day was a surprise to him.

But now there wasn’t any silence. There were their footsteps slapping against the puddles, their clothes rubbing together and ruffling up. It was filled with their idle chatter about the younger's dreams last night, about Yeonjun’s boring job that Beomgyu was enamored by. Practically at the edge of his seat for the next update on his job he thought no one cared about.

Even their stop at the cafe went by so quickly like they were too lost in each other to realize their surroundings. Soobin, their barista, handed their drinks without question the minute he realized they were in too deep a conversation to form words. It didn't take much time to pull his wallet out and have Beomgyu grab the money out from the pouch for him.

"I love the rain,” Beomgyu smiled his way as they crossed the street.

Even with their umbrella, the wind had wafted rain into Beomgyu's brown locks, against his plush cheeks and eyelashes bedazzled with water droplets. He was gorgeous. More than the rainy days he was in love with, more than anything he'd ever loved.

"Sometimes... I want to stay home when it rains like this," he continued, staring out ahead and finally letting Yeonjun calm down. He couldn't whenever Beomgyu locked eyes with him, when his pool of wonder, of beauty, captivated him. His breath couldn't catch up with his heart and he couldn't cool himself off as quickly. Opting to just turn red all over.

"Me too"

If it weren’t for the cool winds and the rain against his skin he would’ve been caught already. His flushed ears and cheeks were chilled instantly. But the flame inside of him still flickered, and even though it was deep inside him he was scared the younger could hear the way it crackled and popped with fresh hot embers.

Yeonjun didn’t know why he was so… happy. Just by hearing Beomgyu say and admit he loved the rain had him fluttering all over. Most people enjoyed these rainy mornings while others despised them dearly, it wasn’t anything new or special.

But the way he said it, the way his eyes dreamily watched over the rain. Like he had adored and admired it so much before, like the many other times Yeonjun had as well. The same stare and the same breathless sigh and he couldn’t help but just fall deeper for the younger. Like swimming through clouds, being with him just felt so light and effortless.

His office building was getting closer and closer, with some people walking through the glass sliding doors already. Fear settled in, that fear you got when it was close to an ending. When the movie is close to its climax and soon you’ll have to leave the theater and let yourself back into the burning sunlight.

“This is your stop, hyung,” Beomgyu said as he unhooked their arms.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” Yeonjun asked, stepping closer to the younger. Though they were covered with the building's roof, he still felt an urge to keep him safe from the rain.

The rain didn’t let up at all on their way to their stop, if anything it poured harder. Wetting almost the bottom hem of their jeans, but their soles were soaked as they made those squelch sounds. Yeonjun wondered if he should buy them matching rain boots for days like this. He wondered if they were going to spend their rainy days together more often. I’ll ask him later, he thought to himself.

“You know,” the younger smiled, “You worry a lot”

“Am I not allowed to?”

“No-- that’s not-- It just feels nice to be worried about I guess,” like always, he kicked out his feet against the concrete. Flicking off the rain from his shoe with a shy grin on his face.

“I’ll be fine though, I promise”

“Wait,” he called out.

Settling the cup holder of his coworker's drinks and tossing the umbrella to the floor, he shucked off his coat. It was wet by the shoulders and a little down the back but it would be warm, it would be good enough to keep Beomgyu warm.

Yeonjun wrapped the coat around the younger's shoulders, flapping up the collar to keep him even warmer. Even going as far as to hand him the umbrella and fix his hair, "I'd feel better if you wore this to class"

“What about you?” Beomgyu asked, his eyes large and worried as he stared up at him.

“It’ll stop raining by the time my shift is done, return my coat and umbrella when you come home”

“And then?” the younger asked with a playful smile on his lips. Coming closer until they were merely breaths away.

“Dinner, with just us”

“That’s it?”

"You want something more?" he lifted a brow, mirroring the younger's grin on his lips.

“I’d also like dessert”

“Alright, dinner and dessert. Now go, before you’re late to class,” he couldn’t help but giggle. Not when Beomgyu looked so cute, so innocent like this. Drowning in his large trench coat, his sweater paws holding onto the umbrella handle. This right here was his favorite look on the younger, no doubt about it.

And if his coworkers asked about the cute boy outside of their office he tried not to show how flustered he was about it. Yeonjun also tried to not act too possessive when they complimented how pretty and cute Beomgyu was.

____

Nocturne

(Adjective)

Slow, lyrical, intimate piece, often for piano solo, having a night theme

____

Yeonjun waited outside of the buildings that held the younger for the day. His back against the white wall as he watched the other students aimlessly squandering around campus. Some were sitting in the grass while others walked down the sidewalks.

He’d have gotten a couple of look-overs while he waited a couple of feet from the classroom doors. Some few whispers were thrown his way too, and he didn’t know why he was so intimidated by these teens; these children. He hadn’t felt the fear of judgment like this since his school years back at university.

It was jarring, to say the least.

It was the same people too. The same group of friends that laughed as they walked together to class, the same people on the nicely cut grass, and the stray students bustling about their day with some looking more alive than others. Instantly he felt like his younger self. Like he was slipping in that headspace of loneliness and the dread of deadlines creeping upon his frail shoulders.

The only thing that had made it worthwhile was the smile on Beomgyu's face when he saw him. The doors would open letting the students disperse to their next class or towards the parking lot. Yet there Beomgyu would be coming out straight to him.

His arms would be opened wide as he sprinted towards the elder, slamming their bodies together in an embrace. The smell of berries of his shampoo and the hint of delicate perfume along his collarbones surrounded Yeonjun’s senses. The simple touch of their cheeks brushing past one another and hearing the hum of happiness from the younger vibrate against his face. His arms would hook around Yeonjun's neck as he'd laugh and giggle before separating them.

"Hey hyung," he greeted as he pulled back.

This time he was with another student, a young-looking guy was following behind him. Almost towering them both yet his long limbs were covered by a sweatshirt. He didn’t want to seem jealous or look weirded out by this new guy he’d never heard of before but he couldn’t just not feel. His heart was falling, being held up by only a few heartstrings. Any sudden movement or word would rip it completely, causing him to fall and hurt himself.

The guy was cute, his hair long and at his shoulders and cute beauty marks upon his cheeks. The aura he carried seemed one of kindness and childhood friend-like however Yeonjun still felt threatened. He looked normal next to Beomgyu, like he was always meant to be there. Yeonjun suddenly felt inadequate.

"Hello,” he ran his fingers through the younger’s locks, “how was class today?"

Beomgyu laughed, always laughing so effortlessly as if everything was funny to him. Yeonjun’s eyes trailed to the other guy who stood beside the younger, wondering what their relationship was. He wanted so badly to look at the way Beomgyu’s sweater complimented his skin tone, he wanted to drown in his eyes. Instead, his eyes trailed over to this mystery man. Why had he never heard of this guy before?

"It was great!" the guy cleared his throat, nudging him with his elbow. Locking eyes with Yeonjun before focusing his eyes onto the younger.

“--Oh yeah,” Beomgyu stepped aside, gesturing his hands towards the guy beside him, “This is my classmate, Kai. Kai this is Yeonjun”

The two shared a look, the other, Kai, looked back at him. He smiled and waved with Yeonjun awkwardly waving back. The look alone had Yeonjun’s blood beginning to boil, it began making a pit in his stomach. He felt heavy over that simple interaction.

“So you’re Yeonjun,” Kai continued to speak before getting his arm slapped by Beomgyu. He smiled, erupting in a fit of giggles with Beomgyu. Yeonjun didn’t feel like laughing, he was too confused, his heart was too confused to sit and enjoy the beautiful laughter than left the younger’s mouth.

“Alright, well I’ll leave you two alone”

And he was gone. Yet Yeonjun's pestering mind kept replaying the scenario over and over again. Their eyes meeting, the touch they shared, and the giggle Beomgyu had let out was all too much. Especially when it was towards someone Yeonjun didn't know. It didn’t make it any better that Beomgyu looked Kai’s way as he departed, lingering his stare on his taller frame.

"How was your day hyung?" He finally looked his way, starting to walk towards the sidewalk.

"Fun. I loved getting glared at every time I come here,” Yeonjun took a look around at the passing people. Feeling a little anxious at their lingering looks over his form.

He let the younger lead him along, his arms hooking with Yeonjun’s, “You’re the talk of the campus now, everyone wants to know who you are. It’s quite funny”

“Why do they want to know me?” he raised a brow in confusion.

Beomgyu seemed taken aback at the question, surprised even.

“Well you don’t have classes here, yet you wait for me every day to walk me home. They’re curious is all,” he shyly looked to the ground.

Yeonjun took it as an answer despite his other quarreling questions he had. Instead of focussing on the guy on his mind. His focus was on the one he seemed to be comparing himself to as the seconds passed. Even as they continued to walk down the sidewalks home this guy, this student was on his mind.

“So,” he started the conversation, looking over at the younger who instantly made eye contact with him the minute he spoke, “Is Kai new?”

Beomgyu seemed to think for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing before he shook his head, “No, not really. Why?”

“You’ve just never mentioned him before, is all. He seems nice,” he didn’t want to sound bitter or pissed off in any way. Beomgyu didn’t owe him anything, his feelings weren’t indebted to him just because he liked the younger.

“We got put into a study group together recently and hit it off. Remember when I stayed in later at the library?”

Yeonjun nodded, remembering when they canceled plans to hang out a couple days ago. It didn’t bother him, no not at all, he wanted Beomgyu to accomplish his goals. But now he did feel a little jealous bile rising in his throat that he tried to swallow down knowing that Beomgyu was too busy with another guy to go out for lunch with him.

“Yeah, we got takeout for dinner that night,” he took a breath and tried to straighten his slumped shoulders and fix his pained and strained expression on his face. Replacing it with a small curt smile.

“Yeah! He and I were studying at the library all night for a test and started to get really close,” Beomgyu flared up with happiness recalling the moment and Yeonjun didn’t like the bitter taste it left in his mouth. Like that stale taste across his palate.

“Do you like him?” He didn't know why he asked, why he felt the need to get all in the younger’s business. Especially his love life when they already were starting to become on the term of closer friends.

“Platonically? Yeah, he’s really funny,” Beomgyu started, seeming to fiddle with Yeonjun’s sleeves, “Romantically, no. He’s not my type”

Yeonjun could only nod along to the younger’s words. Deciding not to ask what his type was. Who did he find attractive? Who did Beomgyu see himself with? Yeonjun wondered what he thought of to be the dream person to wake up in the morning with, who he’d want to roll over and see laying next to him in his bed (So desperately did he want to know if Beomgyu thought of him as a potential partner, though he’d never ask).

“So,” Beomgyu spoke up seconds later, his lips turning up into a grin, “What are we eating for dinner today?”

That smile, that look, and his eyes were the reason he got up in the morning. It’s what grounded him and calmed him down when he felt uneasy. Especially now when all he was doing was worrying. Worrying about losing his chance with Beomgyu and worrying about being so easily replaceable with a more attractive and sweet person.

Which throughout the other days he’d wait and pick Beomgyu up from class, that smile is what brought him happiness. It’s what kept him calm even when his new friend, Kai, was around. Because after it all he would smile at him and give him that look, one that had his eyes full of stars and glitter. One that he’d only have with Yeonjun. And he’d be okay.

After a while, Yeonjun became okay with the thought and idea of Kai being around. It was easy to have his jealousy become flat like a soda, especially when Beomgyu would wrap himself around him. His worries faded into nothingness when Beomgyu would just look at him, when he would utter the simplest of hellos.

Kai started to grow on him as well, though they never exclusively hung out. They’d walk to the main street after classes were done but he’d go his separate way to the dorms. And other than the few times Beomgyu talked about his new friend they didn’t hang out much other than the few study sessions at the library. Those days Yeonjun would join them, feeling pride well up in his chest when he saw they eat and drink something rather than drowning themselves into their textbooks.

Library visits were his favorite thing out of the week. Because whenever he took a seat in between them, Beomgyu would get all comfy and cozy, putting his legs over Yeonjun’s lap. Kai was sweet, not minding Yeonjun’s obvious flirtations with his friend as he continued to study and help Beomgyu with his assignments. He acted like it wasn’t even happening.

Yeonjun’s jealousy didn’t start festering up once again until Beomgyu started to visit him during work hours.

During lunch at work, sometimes he’d be holed up at his desk and unable to go out for lunch with Beomgyu when he was in between classes. Those days his coworkers would order in and he’d be texting Beomgyu about how boring it was to sit at his desk for another hour. Some days Beomgyu would be stuck in class a little longer than he’d like and they wouldn’t be able to meet up until Yeonjun got out of work to pick him up. Those days were ones Yeonjun resented the most.

But then Beomgyu started to visit him during lunch, with his hands full of bags of food for him and his coworkers. He just showed up after Yeonjun complained about staying in for lunch again. Yeonjun was flushed with happiness, his cheeks a dusty pink at the sight of Beomgyu in his workspace. Under these pale lights, in front of all his coworkers looking ever-so pretty.

This jealousy didn’t suddenly flare up like it did when Kai was first introduced to him. No, it only came in small waves of worry, like waves crashing up upon the shore. But it was calmer and it didn’t disrupt the sands too much. Just scraped its surface.

This time, a simple smile or touch from the younger was enough to calm the heat inside of him. No, it stayed ever still, irritating his insides. Itching his skin trying to calm down his feelings but it wouldn’t let up. He couldn’t do anything about it.

Obviously, his coworkers would want to know who this guy was who strutted in like he’s been there a hundred times before. The guy they always asked Yeonjun about when they’d see them outside the building saying their farewells. But the itch he couldn’t scratch, the jealousy came crashing on him hard when it became a normal thing for Beomgyu to visit him.

He was happy, of course. Seeing the one he loves in his workspace dressed up nicely for him was a dream come true. Especially when Beomgyu would whisper questions of worry to him as they hung out. The cute little, ‘do they like me, hyung?’ and a ‘do I look professional today?’ as he ran hands down his sweater vest and adjusted his beret atop his soft locks.

It was already unfair for him to be able to see such a sight for free every day. But now everyone else could as well. Like a museum, there was a line of rope telling you not to touch and not to disturb the precious art and relics. Yeonjun stood firmly behind the rope, hesitating to even look too hard at the piece of art. Scared that it would break or shatter under his gaze.

Yet here were these other people who disobeyed the rules and order. They surrounded this delicate and pliant piece of art and ran their fingers across the fragile paint. Pulling it back and forth in competition to see who got to look at and touch it next. Yet Yeonjun could do nothing but stand and hope they’d stop. Not allowing himself to break the rules like them and disturb the relic.

The editorial team started to surround Beomgyu whenever he came over. The pretty girls with their hair curled and styled with their fancy jewelry dangling from their petite neck and small ears. They were allowed to flirt, they were allowed to openly show that they were interested in him. It’s not like he and Beomgyu were exclusive.

But then every time they’d talk, anytime that the younger would laugh or smile his way they’d all barge into their conversation. And momentarily his attention was ripped from him and brought to someone else that didn’t matter.

Their fingers ran past the folds in Beomgyu’s sleeves, holding onto his forearm and pressing their shoes together. Almost caging him in their not-embrace. Yet the younger didn’t falter or looked scared in any way. He carried conversation just fine.

Yeonjun’s palms were burning, ready to grab the younger and pull him against his body. To take claim of and growl off any intruders, any enemies. It was childish, yes, but he didn’t care. He’d openly girls at anyone that got in his way and tried to defile and steal away his Beomgyu.

However, Beomgyu would look his way and simply capture his eyes with his own and all his problems would fade away. The flame didn’t subside though, merely it would no longer roar as loud or crackle as furiously. But the fire would still burn as passionately with no signs of going out. He wanted him near and only to be his, how silly of him.

____

Scherzando

(Adjective)

Playfull

____

One day, they got their time together. Alone.

It started with Kai’s classes changing. He took a half a year course and it switched recently, causing his classes to end a couple of hours later than Beomgyu’s. So they got to walk home alone. Yeonjun didn’t mind the company, no not at all. However, it was harder for him to be loose and himself when he was around.

Beomgyu’s arm wouldn’t hook around his arm anymore as he walked closer to Kai’s strides. Yeonjun couldn’t endlessly stare his way when the other guy was around either. It was suffocating trying to hide and lock up all his overflowing feelings

Their dynamic began as it always did, with Beomgyu running up and wrapping his arms around Yeonjun’s neck.

“Hyung I did it! I passed my exam!” he smiled brightly, keeping his arms locked around Yeonjun’s neck.

“I knew you could do it,” his hand patted soothingly at the youngers lower back, “You were worried over nothing”

Beomgyu pouted, “Not nothing, I was almost going to fail the class”

“Psh, you were doing great”

Slowly his arms unhooked from his neck, opting to hold Yeonjun’s hand instead. He froze for a second before he let his fingers interlock with Beomgyu’s own as they walked.

“I’m going to miss our dinner-meet today, me and Kai are going out to celebrate,” Beomgyu said with a giggle. Explaining the rest of his plans for the afternoon. He listened silently, basking in the younger's happiness.

“You can join too, hyung, Kai said he wouldn’t mind,” he swung their hands back and forth.

Running a thumb over the younger's knuckles he chortled, “No, you go have fun with your friend! Don’t worry about me”

“But--”

“--No buts!”

They easily made it inside their apartment building, having Beomgyu stand in front of them with their fingers intertwined, “We’ll go out for dinner tomorrow, I don’t mind. Just us, alright? Now go have fun with your friend”

“With dessert?” Beomgyu asked with his eyes all wide and pretty like always.

“Of course, now go, I’ll see you later”

For a moment Beomgyu stalled, pretending their hands were stuck together with them both erupting into laughter. But then he let their fingers slowly pull apart, and he waved off with his fingers cutely wiggling goodbye as he walked through his building’s door.

Sadly, their dinner plans had to be postponed. Usually, Yeonjun got held up at work during lunch hours, having to work on extra paperwork that needed to be filled out. Whether it was agreeing on a budget for their new upcoming book or checking the final results of some proof-read scripts, work had to be done.

He was able to go out for lunch with Beomgyu, eating their food at a park bench while the younger took photos of their endeavor. However, one of the new recruits for the editorial team messed up an order. Meaning he had to take charge and fix their mistake.

“I’m sorry, Gyu. Taehyun-ssi accidentally let a typo be approved for the book's author's biography,” Yeonjun apologized, phone pressed to his ear as he leaned against his chair. Watching as his coworkers were all packing up and leaving, waving and bowing goodbye to him.

“Is everything okay? Did he get in trouble? Did you?” Beomgyu asked frantically, always worrying so deeply about Yeonjun and his job.

“Yeah, he did. He’s the assistant manager so letting a new recruit make a mistake and not double-checking before they printed the books was already terrible. I have to put stickers with the fixed bio on all the books”

“How many copies were made?”

“About five thousand,” he smiled at the younger’s gasp and cute little ‘what?!’.

“ Hyung ,” he whined, “Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Taehyun-ssi will help me at the warehouse to put them on”

Beomgyu spoke softly, “Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell Taehyun to go home, I’m going to help you,” he heard shuffling on the other line, like Beomgyu was rushing, “Stay there!”

“Gyu, no it’s fine we just re--”

The line cut off.

“--schedule”

Then seconds later he spoke, “Taehyun-ssi?”

The redhead poked his head over his monitor, checking to see when the stickers made it to the warehouse, “Yea Choi-ssi?”

“Go home, I got this”

And he waited outside for the younger with a coat to warm him up in the cold of the night. In a few minutes, he was there, off in the distance speed-walking towards him.

Beomgyu looked like he ran all the way to his work building, which he probably did judging by his messed up locks and the way he was heavily breathing. Hunched over as he had his hands on his knees to help him stay up.

“I got dinner!” he said proudly as he stood up straight, his hands up in the air as he held a bag of food to go.

“Gyu, this was supposed to be your night. You shouldn’t have to help me,” he grabbed the food from the younger's hands. Placing the coat around his shoulders.

“I just wanted to be with you, it’s still my night and I’m going to enjoy it. I don’t care where we are,” he started to walk off, “Now let’s go put stickers on some books!”

His body was framed by the stars above and the streetlight against his skin. Yet he still looked as ethereal as ever. The yellow, dirty, lamplight seemed to make him even more beautiful than he already was. The stars entangled with his soft locks, curling up and waving in the breeze of his strides. Beomgyu had no idea where the warehouse was, but he still walked as if he did. Always so sure of himself.

“Wait for me!” Yeonjun laughed out, running up to catch the younger who showed no signs of slowing down.

He crashed into his backside, wrapping his arms around his waist and lifting him. Beomgyu wiggled his legs, struggling to loosen his grip, “Hyung let me go!” he whined out.

“Alright, alright,” he let him down onto the sidewalk's concrete. Jutting his arm out for the younger to grab on like he always did, linking their arms together like there was no other way it’d be. As if their arms were always supposed to be like this, forever locking them together.

Even their legs locked with one another as they sat on the cold floor of the warehouse, going through all the books. Sitting next to each other, their sides staying firmly pressed together. Beomgyu through his leg over Yeinjun’s own, locking them together with a small smile when he looked the younger’s way.

“Do you think your friends at work like me?” Beomgyu had asked, carefully smoothing over the sticker onto the inside sleeve.

“Definitely,” Yeonjun chuckled, thinking about his coworkers always asking about Beomgyu and his love life, “You have many admirers”

“Really?” he asked, locking eyes with the elder, his eyes wide and full of worry.

“Yes, of course, I don’t think you have an unlikeable quality about you in your body. Everyone likes you,” I like you , he wanted to say. But the soft slap of him placing the book onto the finished pile wiped the thought away. Burying it deep within himself once more.

“Why?” he asked.

Beomgyu sighed as he continued to put a sticker on another book, “I want them to like me, you work with them. I want them to see that I’m-- I don’t know-- like I’m worthy of being your friend?”

It clicked then that Beomgyu was like him. In the way that he too wanted to make sure he was seen as worthy of even breathing the same air as him. The flirting he endured, the dressing up nicely, and talking to a bunch of people he didn’t know was for Yeonjun’s sake. And he knew he was in too deep.

Especially now, seeing the younger helping him meticulously put stickers on five-thousand books just to spend time with him. Enjoying even the smallest of interactions with him. It was then that Yeonjun realized that he and Beomgyu were friends. It wasn’t one-sided. He saw him with the potential to be his friend and took the time to impress those he was acquainted with.

Yeonjun always knew they were friends, they were getting to know one another, and they hung out enough to be called acquaintances. But he always thought and knew that Beomgyu was better than him. Why would he want to befriend him?

But he supposes now, that degrading himself wasn’t doing him any good. Especially when he sees how small Beomgyu had become admitting that he didn’t feel good enough. Beomgyu who he thought hung the stars in the sky and created his happiness from nothing.

“Beomgyu, you’re amazing. I think you’re wonderful, so wonderful that I don’t feel worthy of knowing you,” Yeonjun admitted, biting his lip nervously as he looked the younger’s way.

“Hyung…”

Beomgyu placed a hand onto the elder’s knee, running a soothing thumb over it, “You-- You publish books and you always dress so nice and you just-- you know what you’re doing and you don’t even try to be this cool person. You just are this cool person,” he rambled out.

“You’re so confident in everything you do and you’re so smart and talented. Everyone look’s at you like you’re this beautiful thing, and you are, so so fucking beautiful. But I could never compare, you’re on an entirely different level. And, and--”

Beomgyu had leaned in and pressed their lips together, his fingers pulling at the nape of Yeonjun’s neck. It was soft, plush, and pliant. It was everything that he dreamed of and more. Like the comforting press of a soft comforter under your weight, or the delicate touch of rain against your face. It was breathtaking and warm, so warm. Like he was melting on the spot.

Everything was warm and comforting, like the sun against your skin. Trickling in through the window and passed the curtains, basking you in golden light. Beomgyu’s scent overwhelmed him and all his senses, sugary sweet yet flower-like. It got more intense the closer Beomgyu got, hands gripping Yeonjun’s shoulders as he shuffled closer on his knees until their legs were brushing up against one another.

Even as Beomgyu pulled away he felt warm. With his hands sliding up his neck to cup his cheeks and the younger man almost sitting in his lap. Carefully making sure he steered clear of the books they were working on.

“So… you don’t kiss and tell right?” Yeonjun asked breathlessly. His lips burned, tingled, wanting to kiss more. Wanting to press against Beomgyu’s own once again, even his eyes chased after the younger’s pink lips.

It granted an explosion of giggles as Beomgyu laid his head against his shoulder. Kissing at the nape of the elder’s neck, trailing his lips up to his chin to then kiss against his lips once more, “Hyung I think I’m going to have to break my own rules. I have to tell everyone I kissed a hot guy”

“Oh my god stop, ” Yeonjun groaned.

“Make me,” Beomgyu straddled his thighs, taking a seat on his lap, “make me stop hyung”

“C’mon we have to finish this or I’ll lose my job,” he tried to change the subject and distract from his reddening cheeks. Not knowing what to do with his hands he let them rest at the younger’s waist, fingers hesitating to even put pressure on his hips, not when he could feel the heat radiating off of his skin.

This is what he wanted, this weight on his chest and shoulders lifting with a simple smile from Beomgyu. He smiled brightly, his cheeks rising like bread as a burst of pink appeared on them.

“ Okay,” he pouted, jutting his bottom lip out.

“Put that away or I’ll bite it,” absentmindedly Beomgyu ran his tongue across the surface, a sight not ignored by Yeonjun, “you have to know you’re doing that”

“Doing what?” the younger man feigned innocence. A smile spreading wide on his features as he held in his giggles.

Yeonjun lifted a brow in question, deciding to plant a kiss to his lips once more one that lasted a little longer and lingered there, “That’s all you’re getting, c’mon we have to work”

It took hours putting stickers on each single book cover. Making sure it was on straight and smoothened out without any issues. It was a feat seen as almost impossible. Especially when Beomgyu was half in and half off of his lap. It wouldn’t make a difference if he was with how close they were pressed together. He was needy, touch starved even and it didn’t bother Yeonjun one single bit.

Even as the hours passed and they finished almost three in the morning. Yeonjun carried the younger man on his back the whole way home to their complex. But hearing the soft little snores coming from Beomgyu’s mouth he decided to be the hyung he was and take him up to his apartment to sleep.

He wasn’t going to bother the guy who spent hours with him helping him out with his job and rewarded him with kisses in between the thousands of books they put stickers on. Yeonjun only hoped he didn’t mind waking up in a bed that wasn’t his with him sleeping on the floor next to him. Yeonjun didn't have a couch and he wouldn't let himself live to see another day if he made Beomgyu crash on an uncomfortable couch. He just wanted to make sure Beomgyu knew he was safe and sound.

That Yeonjun was safe.

Because he felt safe just by watching the younger boy breathe. His chest rising and falling into the softest of huffs. The blanket wrapping him up as he curled up into a ball made him warm, pulling his sheets over himself. And it was easy for Yeonjun to fall asleep knowing Beomgyu was warm, comfortable, and right there to see when he woke up in the morning.

However, that wasn’t the case when morning actually rolled around. It wasn’t peaceful or calming like the waters of a lake. Softly rippling in places and staying calm and stagnant in others.

Instead, Yeonjun awoke to the sound of rustling and tripping over things in his room while rain rampantly beat against his window. It wasn’t the way Yeonjun wanted to wake up at all. His eyes shot open to see the younger male bustling about the room. Beomgyu was a mess, drying off his hair with a towel and looking for his shoes he’d haphazardly thrown off during the night.

Yeonjun quickly sat up from his makeshift bed on the floor, catching the attention of the younger male. Beomgyu smiled and hung the towel over the bathroom door. Coming and dropping to the floor on his knees to embrace Yeonjun into a hug. Kissing his cheek over and over again, almost causing Yeonjun to fall back onto his pillows.

It was a pleasant way to be lulled awake by the warm press of lips against his face. Leaving no inch of skin untouched, unkissed. Now this was how he wanted to be woken up every morning. Beomgyu pulled away soon after, smiling brightly, “I have class today, hyung,” he explained as he ran his fingers through Yeonjun’s crazy locks, “I totally forgot”

Looking down at the outfit Beomgyu was wearing, it definitely wasn’t what he was wearing last night. His clothes were folded onto the corner of the bed, but by the looks of it, he raided the elder’s closet while he was asleep. Deciding to pick whatever comfortable hoodie he found in his closet. It was huge on him, drowning his sleek and petite frame.

“Oh,” the younger male looked down at his clothes with an apologetic smile, “I took your clothes but I promise to return it okay?”

“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll pick you up for lunch,” Yeonjun smiled, nuzzling his face into the nape of the younger male's neck. Kissing at the expanse of skin there, “You’re wearing my cologne too”

“I hope I’m not overstepping,” he muttered into the crown of the elder’s head as his fingers played with the hair at the nape of Yeonjun’s neck, “this is all new to me and I like you so much”

“No, no it’s okay,” Yeonjun ran his hands under the fabric, letting the pads of his fingers trace the skin there. His mind went in a frenzy for a split second at the thought, the idea of his blemish-free skin ready to be pulled and pressed and marked. It was warm and pliant under his delicate touch causing Beomgyu to shiver, “I don’t mind you using my things and you can always return it later”

He pressed a kiss upon kiss along his collarbones, up his neck until Beomgyu was giggling, “Hyung, I’ll be late!”

He regretted stopping. Regretted not pulling him in closer to stay just a little bit longer. He wished he even asked him to skip class just for today. But he wouldn’t let him do that, not when he could always see him later. However, It was worth it to see the way Beomgyu was flushed red on his cheeks and all the way down his neck.

“It’s raining,” he said as he stood up to walk the younger male out, “Use my umbrella by the door”

“See you later,” Beomgyu said, his eyelashes fluttering flirtatiously. He hooked his arms around Yeonjun’s neck as he pulled him down into a kiss and he let him, he’d let Beomgyu do whatever he’d like with him.

And when he left Yeonjun tossed himself onto the bed, rolling around in excitement as he smiled and giggled into his pillow. He was happy, so damn happy he could die right here and he wouldn’t be upset about it.

But then, as he started to clean up his room he noticed something as the rain pelted down onto his windowsill. There wasn’t any guitar playing today. No, it was just the calm sound of rushing water. Even so, it was silent to Yeonjun. It was eerie almost like he could hear the ringing in his ears and the way his heartbeat into his chest.

By lunchtime the rain had let up, having the sunlight up the streets. The way it reflected against the puddles and made the wet sidewalks glimmer with light was a sight.

A new sight came into view the minute Beomgyu’s class was let out. The way the sun hit Beomgyu’s skin, his collarbones, and how it interlaced into his wavy locks had Yeonjun fawning in adoration.

He didn’t care about the stares thrown his way or their muttering and snide remarks he didn’t care enough about to listen to what they were saying. All he cared about was Beomgyu walking up to him with a smile and pulling him into his embrace.

Once Beomgyu got close enough, Yeonjun wrapped his arms around his waist and picked him up. Twirling him around before his legs wrapped about Yeonjun’s waist. He squealed and rushed to wrap his arms around his neck, scared that he’d fall and drop to the concrete. As if Yeonjun would ever let that happen.

“Hello to you too,” Beomgyu said with a smile, loosening his grip a little so he could look at the elder.

In response, Yeonjun kissed him, even as he giggled against his lips. He kissed his cheeks and any inch of skin he could get his lips on. Yeonjun had a hunger for touching and consuming Beomgyu that he couldn’t calm, especially now when his feelings were out and they were fresh. Every inch of his body and mind burned and itched to surround himself with the younger male. And he knew it wouldn’t let up easily.

“Hyung people are staring,” yet he smiled as he said it.

“Let them”

And they did.

____

Lieto

(Adjective)

Joyful.

____

Yeonjun’s schedule stayed the same as always. The chilly mornings and warmer afternoons he spent with Beomgyu. With the only difference being his nightly plans and his usual work schedule being changed and moved around. Other than that it was the same.

He woke up at the same time, walked Beomgyu to class, had lunch with him during his break, and they both walked one another home. Nothing changed between their dynamic other than the kisses they shared and the abundance of hand-holding throughout his day. Which he was happy about, of course.

He liked the soft warm feeling of their hands clashing together, the way Beomgyu’s smaller one fit so perfectly into his own. He liked the way Beomgyu looked at him, the way his brown eyes swirled with something, something he couldn’t describe or name. But he could feel it. He could feel something bigger bubbling up inside him whenever their eyes locked and he was overwhelmed with happiness.

Staring at Beomgyu was like staring at a sunset over a large expanse of water. It was warm, beautiful and he wanted to do nothing but to dive in and let himself be consumed by it all. To touch and want to shape the clouds to his own personal design. He wanted to stare and stare until it slowly became a part of himself, until Beomgyu became part of himself.

The pressure of a relationship, of caring about another person was non-existent. His fear and longing for another person seemed to dissipate the moment he looked Beomgyu’s way. He wasn’t scared, a more appropriate word would be over-excited. Like he couldn’t catch up with all the things he wanted to do or say and he was scared that he wouldn’t have enough time to express it all.

But then Beomgyu would chuckle at his concerns, not of mockery but a laugh of understanding. His warm soft hands would cup Yeonjun’s cheek, running a soothing thumb over his skin. And he’d stare at him like he was his world. Like he was the only other person in the world he trusted.

“We have all the time in the world,” he smiled, “And I don’t plan to leave anytime soon”

Yeonjun would huff with a pout, “You better not,” cupping the younger’s hands over his cheek. Wanting to keep this warm touch there for longer he leaned into his palm more like a cat getting pet. Wanting to melt into his hands like putty.

However, now that they were romantically involved they spent more time together. Yeonjun didn’t have to make excuses to see him and he didn’t have to be all dopey and wait for him to show up. When he did confess to him waiting aimlessly until Beomgyu showed up, the younger male giggled until he was breathless and almost rolling on the floor. Claiming he was ‘so cute’.

After their day was almost over, they’d go out to dinner and on dates. Sometimes it would be take-out eaten on the park benches or going shopping together, anything they did together was a date. Like annual grocery shopping and their lunch-meets where they’d go on walks hand in hand.

It never was anything too big and extravagant. They enjoyed each other's company in any capacity even if it was the smallest and shortest text or them staying out late after dinner. Sometimes they’d even be holed up in a private corner of the library, with the younger laying against him. Yeonjun’s arms wrapped around his waist, head leaning on the younger male's shoulder and that itself was enough for him.

Just watching the younger study or doing his assignments was enough for him. As long as he was there by his side and making sure Beomgyu was taking necessary breaks was peak to him. Being able to kiss his temple to soothe him after he sighed out ‘I’m exhausted, hyung’ was everything he wanted. To wrap him in his arms and let him melt against his body, to let him nap for just a little before they walked back home.

Their dates were never anything big or fancy. That is until Beomgyu had asked him during their morning meet-up,

“I was wondering if you’d come over to my place tonight for dinner?”

He looked nervous, fingers nervously playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Cheeks flushing red as he avoided eye contact, his feet shuffling and kicking at the air shyly. Beomgyu became smaller as he seemed to fold into himself as he asked.

“Of course,” Yeonjun said, taking the younger males hand, kissing his knuckles, “You don’t have to be so nervous”

“I do what I want,” Beomgyu pouted, crossing his arms as he walked off through the cafe doors.

Yeonjun was anxious the entire rest of his day. Constantly looking at the time on the clock and on the edge of his seat. Beomgyu had been over to his place a couple of times after dinner and they’d watch movies in his bedroom before the younger male had to leave. He had an early class and of course, had to throw some flirtation out there when offered to stay the night.

“I don’t think I’d be able to sleep with a hot guy laying next to me,” which caused Yeonjun to playfully hit his arm and huff out ‘shut up’ in response.

The rest of the day, however, Yeonjun was also a nervous wreck. From pacing around his apartment and rummaging through his closet. He didn’t know what to do or wear or how to even talk. Yeonjun did several face masks and tried different cologne to wear, something and anything to try and impress Beomgyu.

But at the end of the day, when it got close to their date he had to calm down, opting to listen to calm guitar tunes as he got ready. Walking as calmly as he could with his heart racing as he made his way through the thin dark hallways. Where all he could hear was the muffled sounds of people bustling about in their apartments and the click of his boot heels against the linoleum.

And he was there, outside the same metal door he’d been at many weeks and months ago. The thought made him flush all over his body. Hands hesitating at his sides like he didn’t know what to do with them. Where he should rest them or if he should attempt a pose before knocking.

But after seconds of hesitancy, he knocked on the metal door, wondering if he at least looked okay. Giving himself one last look at himself through his phone, fixing stray pieces of hair, and making sure nothing was on his face. Stuffing his phone into his back pocket he shuffled on his feet, wondering if he was dressed appropriately. If he looked presentable. Would Beomgyu think he was handsome?

All Yeonjun could think about was the first time he was here at this doorstep. How Beomgyu saw him in his pajamas with his messy and unbrushed hair and fell for him was beyond him. How he saw him in his pajamas multiple times and still kissed him as if he needed him to breathe was something Yeonjun would never get over either. How loved he was by someone was so overwhelming.

He was nervous, his palms sweating and no amount of wiping them down his jeans would calm him down. Yeonjun looked down at his button-up sweatshirt, making sure where he tucked it looked nice, even rebuttoning them over again. He had to look perfect, as perfect as Beomgyu was going to look. As he always looked, wondrously beautiful, he’d never be able to compare.

Yeonjun could hear and feel his heart panging in his chest and echoing in his ears when he started to hear movement in the apartment. Then he could hear the shuffling of feet against the floor until they were right in front of the door.

“I’m here to borrow some sugar,” was the first thing Yeonjun said when Beomgyu’s apartment door swung open. Though he was able to say it without any difficulties he still felt his heart lodged in his throat and the weight of everything pulled him down. Anxiety soaring through his body.

But Beomgyu laughed as he opened the door, easing Yeonjun’s worries. It was open just a crack with Beomgy’s head peeking around the corner, his hand gripping onto the door. His big eyes were starry as always as he stared at Yeonjun.

“Hello there,” he waved.

Yeonjun raised a brow at the younger male and tilted his head to match, “Are you, uh, gonna let me in?”

“Oh, Oh! Yes, I am”

He chortled at the younger’s stuttering. Finding everything he did endearing. The way he avoided eye contact sometimes, when he would tuck his locks behind his ear, and when he couldn’t help but smile widely at things that made him happy. He was unable to withhold how he felt about anything.

Beomgyu pulled open the door, keeping his body from view. And here he was, in Beomgyu’s space. In his little world. It smelled like him, plus a few candles that were set up on the coffee table in the living room. It was almost the same shape and size of Yeonjun’s own apartment. Yet filled in much differently.

The living room windows his desk was set up in front of was Beomgyu’s couch now, with a coffee table settled in front of it. There were stray books there and a candle in the middle of the dark oak wood and a TV mounted to the wall. It was mature, comforting, and more home-like than Yeonjun’s apartment ever was. His was spacious and open with a lack of filler furniture such as shelves and bookcases.

Yeonjun didn’t have much company, so he didn’t really need extra seating in his living room when it was just him. His desk chair was comfy and his own television across the room on an old stand was enough for him. But seeing how cozy and warm and welcoming Beomgyu’s apartment was, he thought about investing in a couch for them to sit on.

“Oh I should--” Beomgyu scuttled over to the coffee table, grabbing the books that were there and putting them away on a shelf, “Okay now it’s all clean!” he announced with a happy clap.

Beomgyu was in simple words, gorgeous. In a longer statement? Yeonjun would describe him as breathtaking, seeming to come and rip his heart out easily to keep it for himself. His skin was honey-like, the way it glowed under the warm lighting but his cheeks were flushed pink. If it was blush or natural Yeonjun didn’t know, unless he cupped his soft cheek and ran his thumbs over the apple of his cheeks.

His hair of course was soft, styled, and curled into soft waves. It framed his face perfectly and Yeonjun felt bad for thinking of the many ways to mess it up, to run his hands through his locks, and kiss him silly. To kiss his lips that were stained with a pinkish tint and drown in him. He wanted to meld them together, wanted to make sure they were interlocked forever and always.

Tying the look together he had a large sweatshirt on, tucked in the front but drawing the rest of him in its soft fabric, even making his fingers disappear at the sleeves. Beomgyu shuffled his feet, his cheeks darkening under the elder’s gaze. It was a natural blush, Yeonjun noted.

“I wanted to be casual,” Beomgyu explained, picking up the fabric by the shoulders as the sweatshirt's collar had dropped low to show his collarbones. Fingers nervously playing with the chain around his neck.

Yeonjun approached slowly, his hands instantly cupping the younger’s cheeks before kissing him on the forehead, “You look amazing”

Beomgyu instantly smiled, pulling Yeonjun into an embrace. He wouldn't say bone-crushing but more like he needed him to pull himself together, like his seams were tearing and Yeonjun was the only thing to hold him piece by piece. He could feel the way Beomgyu’s heart was racing, panging against his chest like he was scared, scared of letting go? He didn’t know.

But he too was scared. Scared that if they pulled apart that he’d disappear, that this heat would no longer exist. Eventually, they had to part, even if it was only a few seconds, a single moment. It felt like they were there for years.

“I got to check on dinner, you make yourself comfortable,” Beomgyu pulled away with a smile, “The bathroom is in my room if you need it”

Yeonjun nodded, watching as Beomgyu disappeared through the kitchen doorway. He let out a breath he was holding in, taking small steps to look around. Fingers dragging across the shelves and the spines of the books on them, many were manga issues and even a couple of cheat code books you’d buy at the store for older games. It was all so Beomgyu.

He took a seat on the couch, bouncing a little on the cushion before putting something on the tv as background noise. Though it wouldn’t change that he was on edge, that his leg was shaking nervously and that everything was loud. He could hear every creak in the floor and every breath echoing off the walls of the apartment and he was so scared that even his blood circulating could be heard from the kitchen.

“Hyung, dinner is ready,” Beomgyu announced a couple of minutes later, coming in with plates balanced on his palms as he walked in.

“Aren’t you the prettiest thing?” Yeonjun said, helping him place the plates on the coffee table.

“Shut up,” he scoffed, “What would you like to drink?”

“How about hyung buys you some milk?” he wrapped a loose grip around the younger’s wrist.

“We’re already together, hyung,” his cheeks flushed red, cupping his face with his sweater paws to hide his face, “Now stop flirting I’ll overheat!”

Yeonjun couldn’t help but smile, “I’ll take some water then”

By the time they started eating Beomgyu had put on a romance film. He said he didn’t mean to, it was ‘what was on’ so he kept it on, but even though he kept getting flustered over certain scenes he made no move to change it. He was adorable, the way he folded into himself and bashfully looked away whenever the couple flirted or looked at each other.

It was looks Yeonjun often sent his way, and he knew that because Beomgyu would curl into himself just like this and shyly look away. And although he’d tell him to stop he often wanted Yeonjun to egg on, to pursue further and feed his ego. His ego was already so big.

“Hyung we should do that”

Beomgyu pointed at the screen showcasing the main couple on vacation in the countryside together.

“We should go on vacation”

Yeonjun nervously giggled, “How about as a graduation present, hmm?”

“I’ll be sure to clear my schedule if you set up a date”

“Okay”

Yeonjun didn’t want to ruin the moment with his nervous ticks but he couldn’t help but overreact on the inside a little. The fact that Beomgyu and he planned to do things years later into their lives, that he wanted to be involved in his life for years to come. It made his stomach do flips and his heart gush out all the love he had for the younger male. The blunt spontaneity of it all was something Yeonjun had never done before, yet he wouldn’t mind if it was always with Beomgyu.

His life was more scheduled than anything out of the blue. The structure to it all calmed him down, knowing exactly when and where he needed to be at all times. Yeonjun would usually live his life in a mundane continuous loop until Beomgyu had entered his life in the most random and off schedule of ways. His late arrival had made them meet in the first place, the random sights around the city which turned into their own scheduled yet random planned friendship.

They had their things they did together every day but their conversations always led them somewhere else and Beomgyu was always unhinged. Luring him to do whatever he pleased at the moment. That attitude and how he carried himself was what made Yeonjun fall for him in the first place, the way he just did what he wanted.

This comfort that Yeonjun had found in the younger male was what grounded him in a way. It let him be calmer on days when things didn’t go as planned. Just knowing that he had someone to go to if he needed a distraction and someone to talk to.

Which is how he was able to relax with him on the couch. Practically melting into his side until it was impossible to part, any millimeter apart would make them cold and press closer. His nervousness and anxiety that had racked his brain and body with worries had dispersed the minute they talked. The second their natural easy-going conversation started it was like Yeonjun was home again, in a safe place.

Yeonjun didn’t even have to speak, just sitting there in this comfortable silence was enough for him. Movies played one after the other and by the time their food was finished and they cleaned up it was getting late. The sky had turned just a little dark, like a bluish-grey over the horizon but it’s as dark as it got. Like the comforting grey clouds that seeped rain onto the world.

Like Beomgyu’s words and touches were rain droplets across his skin, the petrichor seeping into his skin. The thick clouds that fogged up the street, just soft caresses against the apples of his cheeks. The puddles splashing against his boot heel was like when Beomgyu’s fingers ran through his locks and the pads of his fingertips settled across his scalp. That soothing and refreshing feeling.

But then it was time to leave, the night, their date was over. And though he yearned to stay a little longer, to stay by the younger’s side he knew that some things must come to an end. Even when you don’t want it to.

Yeonjun sat up, finally ripping the warmth away from him to stretch his limbs that went numb. With him sat up Beomgyu, whining as he wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling him back into an embrace, “Hyung don’t leave, you’re so warm,” he rubbed his cheek against Yeonjun’s chest in protest.

“I just have to use the bathroom,” He chuckled, patting the younger’s head.

“Alright,” Yeonjun could hear the pout in his voice though muffled through his sweatshirt, “Come back soon”

And he was out of his embrace and warmth, walking over to the bedroom door. Yeonjun’s heart started to race a little as he approached the younger’s bedroom. It was his private place where he slept, where he cutely curled up in his blankets and talked in his sleep. Where he just relaxed and texted Yeonjun whenever the day was long and boring.

Where in the late hours of the night the younger male would send him photos of himself under his sheets with texts about how he couldn’t sleep. Yeonjun couldn’t either, finding peace and solace talking to him until their words slurred and it was more yawning and rumbling than actual words being exchanged.

The room was much like Beomgyu. The bed was low to the ground with a huge fluffy comforter on top of it, several pillows, and even a folded blanket at the bottom of the bed. There was a single plushie in between the pillow mountain. His backpack and books were sprawled on top of the dresser pressed against the left wall with posters and pictures framed on the wall.

He wouldn’t be able to take a deep look around due to his bathroom predicament but it was enough to get the feel of how Beomgyu lived his life. Comfortable and fluffy, warm, and cozy like the sweaters he drowned himself in. Warm like his scent, his natural sweet and home-like fragrance. Almost like fresh linen.

It seemed he took too long though he was careful and tried to be quick as he fixed his hair and outfit. Making sure he was presentable once again. Because when he walked out of the bathroom Beomgyu was opening the door. Looking as small and cute as always.

“You took too long and I got cold,” he crossed his arms, bunching up the fabric of his large long sleeves. His sweatshirt had untucked from his jeans a while ago, laying right above his knees and drowning him in the fabric. He didn’t show any signs of fixing it and it’s not like Yeonjun minded.

He chuckled, “So impatient”

“I’m actually very, very patient, you just take forever to do things,” he snapped back.

“I was gone for a minute tops,” Yeonjun reasoned.

“A minute too long”

Though they were bickering it didn’t take long before a smile was growing on both of their lips. Never any malice, just an uncontrollable amount of love for one another. It was these smiles that had Yeonjun’s cheeks straining and hurting after spending a day with the younger boy. Like his smiling muscles were always put out of commission after a day with him, never having been so happy in his life like this before.

He went to embrace the younger male but paused. In the corner of his eye, he saw a glimmer that caught his eye. A guitar.

“You play?” Yeonjun asked, fingers grazing the spine of the guitar.

Beomgyu nodded as he leaned against the doorframe, “As a hobby, yeah, It helps me cope when my mind is just… Loud”

“I understand that, it clears your head,” the younger male nodded with a soft smile on his lips.

Beomgyu walked into the room, sitting down on his bed that was low on the ground, the frame was wooden and laid on the floor instead of above it. It was comfy though, cozy and easy to throw yourself on it on tired days, “I’ll sit here and play,” he patted the spot next to him, beckoning Yeonjun to sit beside him.

And he did, letting their thighs pressed against each other with no room between them. That warmth that was torn from him settling back into his skin and his bones. He looked out the window, through the grey long curtains that were pulled back. The sight outside of it made him freeze, stilling in his seat. Beomgyu seemed to notice his stature had frozen and became still.

“What’s wrong hyung?” he asked softly, leaning out to look at the other's face. At his features that were twisted in emotions, he couldn’t decipher or grasp. Akin to a deer in highlights.

“When do you normally play?” he finally spoke up after seconds of silence.

Beomgyu stilled for a moment to think before answering, “Usually when it rains, why?”

“You open this window, and you play, right?”

“Yeah, I do”

And everything seemed to click. Like the stars aligned and his blooded rushed through every part of his body like waves crashing upon the shore. Everything just made sense.

“Hyung?” Beomgyu called out to him and it felt like the rain settling over his skin, like the raindrops that pelted over his windowsill. Just that rush of emotions like water flowing through him, mirroring his heart fluttering inside him.

He put a hand on his knee, rubbing a soothing thumb over it and like those delicate strums he heard every morning. Those calming notes that were strung together and made music that hit him at his core. It ran shudders through his body, burning his skin and branding it with Beomgyu’s touch.

“I just figured something out,” Yeonjun said softly, putting his hand over Beomgyu’s own to interlace their fingers.

Of course, it all made sense. Because out the window, across Beomgyu’s bedroom window sat Yeonjun’s apartment. His curtains were pulled back and you could see his desk and his laptop open on rest mode but he couldn’t see anything else. The dark sky cast a dark shadow across the rest of his apartment and only his desk lamp that was on displayed a dim glow around the room. It was definitely his place.

“What did you figure out?” He tried to trail and pinpoint where the elder’s gaze lied but he couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. Just an expanse of windows and apartments across from his own.

Yeonjun finally turned to look at Beomgyu, letting his eyes fall on his features, “You’re guitar guy”

The younger raised a brow in confusion, “Guitar guy…?”

Yeonjun couldn’t help but pull the younger into a kiss because the person who comforted him via music was right here. They were right here, he was right here, in his arms and embrace. Whose lips were softly pressing against his own.

“Hyung~” Beomgyu whined out with a smile when they parted, “I love kisses but you didn’t answer my question”

“Every morning when it rains, you stay home and play your guitar, correct?”

“Well, ye-yeah, how did you know?”

Yeonjun pointed a finger out towards the apartments across from his, “And I stay home, listening to you all day”

Beomgyu’s head tilted before he finally grasped what Yeonjun was saying to him and then it also made sense. “You,” he started to speak as he looked over at the elder’s apartment, “You’d sit and listen to me?”

“Every morning”

“So… What your saying is--”

“--Yea?”

“You’ve been whipped for me since the beginning? And I thought I was weird for wanting to marry you at first sight?”

Yeonjun scoffed, pushing Beomgyu over onto the bed with a shy, “Shut up”

It all made sense somehow. That the person he fell for their music, their emotional resonance that he’d cry over on days he felt lonely. On days he thought no one would understand him but Beomgyu’s music and delicate strums would pull him from his thoughts for a moment and he’d think, ‘maybe life isn’t so bad’ and ‘maybe I’m not so alone’.

All that to now, to meeting Beomgyu and him becoming a part of his life. To him being right here, giggling and pulling him down against him. Yeah, he thought to himself as Beomgyu pressed soft kisses to his face, It made sense, they made sense.

____

Tranquillo

(Adjective)

Calm

____

Days, when it rains, are Yeonjun's favorite; his senses of touch, sound, and smell echoed content as the rain hit the windows. As it hit against his windows and trickled down the glass, he’d stare out his opened window. Letting the rain hit his supple skin and even hit against his wooden floorboards. They were the days he rested well and rose early to drink some coffee and sit and read.

And maybe, he liked them because he could hear Beomgyu over in his complex strumming his guitar. Soft tunes and sweet eloquence as his fingertips brushed against the strings, strumming a soft and sweet tune.

On these rainy days, he’d stay home, laying under his large comfy blanket. And then like clockwork, his phone would buzz beside him, screen lighting up with it. Yeonjun would roll over, squinting as he looked at the phone before he grew a giant smile.

A phone call came across his screen. He answered it while pulling off his blankets and standing to stretch his limbs. The sleep he had was wearing off with each second on his feet.

“Look out your window,” a sweet voice spoke to him, lulling him even more awake.

Pulling back his curtains and opening his window as wide as he could, cringing at the sound of the metal giving way with a whine. There Beomgyu was too, waving his hand out of his window with a smile.

“I’m making breakfast, hyung,” he spoke into the phone, sleep still evident in his voice.

Yeonjun nodded along, “I’ll be over in a few, do you have coffee?” he asked as he rubbed at his eyes and yawned.

“The coffee maker is almost done, come quick before it gets cold”

“You just want morning kisses, don’t you?”

Beomgyu stuck his tongue out, “Don’t question me, hurry up!”

And they ended the call. Leaving Yeonjun to chuckle to himself as he got ready.

Yeonjun loved rainy days like this, the mugginess, the silence, and the ambiance of it all. Now he finds himself no longer alone, finding someone who loved and cherished his favorite days just as much. No, he’s no longer alone, now he spends his rainy days with a new friend, with someone he loves.

Notes:

* buying milk in Korea for someone usually means you like them, are interested in them, and they are your crush. It's used as a form of flirtation and affection for someone.
*Every musical term has a song attached to it, so I hope you'll give a listen to understand the atmosphere I was going for!

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