Work Text:
“Alright, enough of me,” Jeonghan says after his speech, finally realizing it’s their wedding and not his own. “To celebrate this great day, I heard Jihoon’s prepared a song! Come over here and sing it! Don’t worry, I had Seokmin give the song to the DJ beforehand so you’re all set!”
Jihoon’s head whips up and his immediate response is to glare at Jeonghan. “I’m not singing. Why would I sing? Wh...Who even told you that I had a song!? And how did you get it off of my computer?” Junhui’s laughing his head off from his place beside him. He gets a glare as well, but both of them, along with the rest of the people in the reception, insist that Jihoon sings. Junhui gives him an encouraging pat on the back and ushers for him to go. Jihoon rolls his eyes and reluctantly stands as the crowd cheers.
The eyes of everyone in the room burn in his chest and he hates it. He doesn’t even spare Jeonghan a glance as he hands him the microphone. Jihoon grunts “Jeonghan-hyung. See me after this. You’re dead,” into the microphone and the crowd laughs, but Junhui’s laugh is the only one he hears. He closes his eyes and focuses on Junhui’s blazing gaze on him, disregarding the rest of the stares he is getting. The music starts the moment he and Junhui lock eyes and they stay that way for a while. They smile brightly at each other as Jihoon shoves a shaking hand into the pocket of his blazer and starts singing.
I waited for you
From far away
Cold wind keeps blowing
Jihoon sees Junhui for the first time in the fall of 2012. They’re both sixteen and Junhui’s the famous new kid that transferred from China that everyone has been buzzing about. He’s quiet, not knowing a single word of Korean besides his introduction and Jihoon is glad that makes him pretty quiet. He doesn’t know what he would have done if this guy was any louder than he already is. Jihoon spends most of his days in the library after classes, buried in a new book every week. Like a disease, news about Junhui spreads fast throughout his school and his friends go on and on about how mysterious he is. They tell him all about their classes together and how he’s already the class clown just by breathing. Shaking his head, Jihoon blocks their ranting out and continues to read through their words.
A very small pinwheel
Just blanking standing there
Looking so lonely as if it’s looking for someone
Felt like I was looking at me
The two formally meet in the library during winter when almost nobody is there and the school is about to close for the night. Junhui stares at him for a while and Jihoon can’t help but be incredibly aware of it. He’s been feeling the burn of someone gazing at the back of his head for almost twenty minutes now and he quickly figures out it’s that Junhui kid before he even looks at him. Footsteps come closer, followed by a gentle tap on Jihoon’s shoulder. Jihoon reluctantly tears his eyes from the words on the page and looks up at the boy, realizing that he is quite handsome. His breath catches for a weird reason and Jihoon can’t explain why. “Do you mind if I sit next to you?” Although it’s a bit choppy and heavily accented, Jihoon can tell that his Korean has improved from what he’s heard from him speaking loudly in the halls. He glances over at the surplus of vacant seats near him but nods in fear of being rude to him. Junhui thanks him and he sits down, pulling out some Korean books to study. Jihoon’s kinda impressed that he wants to learn quickly, so he eyes his notes for a bit before returning to his book.
Half an hour or so passes and when Jihoon looks back, he notices that he’s written 동물원, zoo, wrong. It says ‘dungmulwon’ instead of ‘dongmulwon’ and Jihoon reaches over at it to point it out. “You spelled this wrong,” he whispers a bit too loudly.
Junhui jumps and says something akin to a curse word in Chinese before staring incredulously at Jihoon. He raises an eyebrow at Junhui’s surprised face and the latter inches a bit closer. “Wait, so you’re not mute?”
Jihoon stares, speechless. He doesn’t know if he’s even been baffled at all in his life, but he can surely feel it now. An eternity passes before he speaks again, saying “What? ...Why would I be mute?” He raises an eyebrow.
Junhui shrugs. “You never talk. Well, I mean, I’ve never seen you talk, so.” Junhui turns back to his notes and fiddles with the corner of the notebook paper nervously. “Sorry.”
Jihoon sits there, gazing down at his fingers for a while, before sighing. “You really...are like that, huh?”
He looks just as confused as Jihoon now. “I don’t know what that means.”
“You don’t need to,” Jihoon replies. “Just fix your mistake. It’s dongmul, as in animal, not dungmul. With an o.”
Junhui nods, picking up his pencil and erasing it. “Thanks, man.”
He doesn’t reply and continues to read.
Many things happen
So busy without a breath to catch
Because of this damn world
If I say that’s why we grew apart
Feels like I’m making it up so I have no faults
So I can’t say that
I’m just facing the wind
“Dude,” Jihoon presses, “I’ll take the dare for you. I’ll pay Seungkwan, like, 5,000 won to get you out of it. You don’t actually have to do it if you don’t want to.”
Junhui turns around and smiles brightly, making Jihoon turn a bit red at the sight of his genuine smile. They’re in front of the neighborhood’s supermarket because Seungkwan dared him to stand on top of the cashier and dance to Apink’s ‘Mr. Chu’ during Chan’s birthday party. Jihoon thought it was funny and came to film it for the rest of the boys, but he feels a bit uneasy about forcing Junhui to do it. He watches Junhui turn his back towards him. “It’s whatever. You already know I’m shameless anyway,” he assures, opening the doors to the supermarket. “Besides, what’s he gonna buy with 5,000 won? He wouldn’t take that from you. He wants to see me do this.”
“Don’t come crying to me in embarrassment then.” He shrugs and follows cautiously.
Junhui snickers. “Consider this as...me showing the employees a good time.” A laugh escapes his best friend's mouth.
Jihoon trails Junhui towards the cashier. A young girl and boy who are working as cashiers greet them politely and Jihoon figures that it won’t be as horrible as he thought. He taps the elder on the shoulder. “I’m not buying you snacks when you’re eventually banned, by the way.”
Junhui glances at him and laughs before turning to the employees and apologizing ahead of time for what he’s about to do. Jihoon takes his phone out to record Junhui climbing onto the counter and screaming “Mr. Chu!~” as he dances exaggeratedly. He laughs behind the camera and the two employees (and some of the customers) can’t help but laugh as he screams the song at the top of his lungs and dances like there’s no tomorrow. Jihoon stands there as his personal fan and is screaming the song’s fanchant as he dances, which has Junhui almost toppling over in laughter.
By the end of his performance, the people around him are laughing and clapping. His best friend bows and gets down from the counter, running out of the supermarket fast out of embarrassment. They laugh their heads off on the way back to Chan’s house. The boys start screaming once Jihoon shows the rest of them the video and Junhui mentions being glad that neither of them are banned. Seungkwan pats Junhui on the back and tells him he’s proud of him. From behind where the rest of the boys are watching the video on Jihoon’s phone, Jihoon and Junhui share a high five.
In the future
So I won’t be sorry
I want to always be waiting
That makes me feel better
Even if you get lost
And it takes you a while
Come round and round back to me
Even if it’s far ahead in the future
They both end up attending Yonsei University after graduating. Junhui goes for medicine, minoring in dance, and Jihoon goes for music composition. It’s a wonder how they both ended up in the same university, but they both have always been bright since they were young. Jihoon said it was weird that Junhui minored in dance at a research university, but Junhui stuck his tongue out at him instead of answering. Jihoon didn’t understand how an oversized child-like Junhui made his way into an old, prestigious school.
Both of them rent out a nearby apartment as roommates. Their parents agreed to pay the tuition under the guise that they pay for the apartment’s rent, which both Jihoon and Junhui agreed to. Junhui went on and on about having a pet, so Jihoon promised that they would have a pet after they settled down and were comfortable.
“You say that like I asked if we could have a child,” Junhui snorts. “Like, we just bought our first house and are newlyweds or something. I just want a cat named Chunky, homeslice.”
Jihoon glares at him from his seat on the couch. “You say things that make me wish that I never let you sit next to me when we met.”
His best friend pouts. “You don’t wanna be my newlywed? My Hoonie-pie?”
He snorts and tosses a pillow at his head. “I want you to get lost.”
Junhui catches the pillow Jihoon throws at him and winks at him. Jihoon turns away and attempts to hide his blushing face under the blanket.
People only see the outside
And ask if the wind is cold
They just ask and pass by
Why ask if you’re gonna forget anyway?
Feels like wind from you
So without a word, I’m just waiting
Jihoon sighs and sets his pencil down. “You asked me to teach you this and you’re not even paying attention.” Junhui doesn’t reply and continues to stare into space. He rolls his eyes and reaches for his drink. They’re currently sitting in a Starbucks near their apartment because it’s too cold in their apartment for them to focus on studying, so they came here instead. He was about midway in finishing teaching Junhui about the math he found confusing when he suddenly stopped paying attention. Jihoon started to follow his line of sight until his eyes fell onto a familiar tall, lithe boy sitting by himself in the corner. He raised an eyebrow and turned back towards Junhui. “Are you looking at that guy over there?” When Junhui doesn’t reply, he snaps his fingers in front of his face, making him jump.
“W-What?” Junhui asked, sitting up straight.
“You’re drooling over Jisoo,” Jihoon replies.
Junhui turned beet red, surprising Jihoon. After all the years of being best friends, he’s never seen Junhui turn red at all. He’s shameless and barely ever gets embarrassed, so seeing his friend’s red face made his jaw drop slightly. “Ji...Jisoo? His name is Jisoo? I’ve never seen him around before.” Junhui looks back up and continues to stare.
“He’s a transfer student from America. He’s in my Expos class and doesn’t have many friends as of now.” Jihoon realizes that Junhui’s barely listening and sighs. “Do you want me to introduce you to him or something? We’re not friends, but at least I know him.”
The offer makes Junhui’s head snap towards him so fast that Jihoon becomes slightly concerned about the condition of his best friend's neck. “Oh my god, is that okay? I mean, I know how hard it is to be a transfer student and everything, so—”
“Alright, Christ,” Jihoon stops him and hops off of his stool. “Just follow me.”
Junhui almost falls off of his chair by how fast he goes to follow Jihoon before he tries to embarrass him in front of his potential crush. Jisoo raises his head at the sudden ruckus and gives a confused smile to Jihoon, who’s suddenly in front of him. “Hey,” Jihoon says. “I know this is sudden because we barely know each other, but hey.”
“Oh, hey. Jihoon, right?” Jisoo replies, sparing a glance to Junhui, who’s clinging to Jihoon with his life. “What’s up?”
Jihoon reaches around him to grab Junhui and shoves him towards Jisoo. “I’ll cut to the chase, this is Junhui. Moon Junhui. He’s cool and he can cook but he’s a handful. You’re pretty close in age. Here, tell him that he can call you hyung.”
His best friend glares at him and furrows his eyebrows. “J-Jihoon, what’re you doing?”
“Oh, what’s that? You want some alone time with Jisoo?”
“No! Wait, yeah, sure, but—“
“Perfect! I’ll be over there.”
They both hear Jisoo break out into laughter amidst their bickering, making them both stop. Jisoo holds out a hand towards Junhui and gives him an award-winning smile. “Hey, Junhui, I’m Hong Jisoo. Go ahead and call me hyung, I don't mind! I hope we get along well!”
Junhui takes his hand and shakes it. “Y-Yeah, me t-too.”
Jihoon pats Junhui on the back and gestures to their seat from before. “Catch you wild kids later. Have fun talking.” His best friend nods and Jihoon watches as Jisoo offers the seat in front of him for Junhui to sit. Junhui thanks him and they start talking. Jihoon tunes them out and packs his stuff before leaving the Starbucks, hearing their laughter as he walks out.
He can already feel his heart breaking as he walks back to their apartment.
Feels like time has hidden
And taken you too
Can’t I see you?
Sometimes, I get bad thoughts
I start to forget you
The door to their apartment slams open and it scares the shit out of him. Jihoon looks up from his phone and stares at Junhui, who is back from a date, from the couch. Junhui’s face and ears are red and the red roses he bought for Jisoo are no longer with him. He raises an eyebrow and Junhui takes a seat on the couch as well. “Uh, you didn’t break up or anything, right—“
“Bro, he kissed me,” Junhui interrupts.
Despite feeling his heart shatter a bit, Jihoon smiles for him. “That’s...good.” He can’t find any other way to react.
Junhui turns to him and his face is still bright red. He can tell that he’s slightly embarrassed but is still owning up to it. “This is crazy,” Junhui says. “I’m so in love with him, Ji. He’s cute and listens to me — even when I rant about cats! He’s just so...perfect. Perfect for me.”
Jihoon pats his best friend on the shoulder. “I’m happy for you.” Jihoon smiles through the pain.
Junhui’s beaming now, and when Jihoon glances down at his phone, he can see that he’s changed his lock screen to a picture of Jisoo. It used to be a picture of the two of them from when they went to an NCT concert together a couple of years ago. It matched with Jihoon’s own lock screen, but not anymore. “Ji,” Junhui starts, “would you be my man of honor in a couple of years?”
Jihoon suppresses the urge to cry as he thinks about Jisoo and Junhui getting married. “You? Getting married to Shua hyung?” He shakes his head and looks away. “Wishful thinking.”
Junhui pouts. “Always so mean to me.”
He doesn’t reply and keeps his eyes back on his phone, trying to distract himself before excusing himself to the bathroom to cry his heart out.
But don’t cry
It may seem sad
But I’m here
For you
He meets Jisoo and Junhui at the nearby restaurant like Junhui asked him to and he sees them in the window almost instantly. They see him and wave, making him smile at them as he enters the restaurant. Jisoo and Junhui have been together for almost five years now, and while the thought of it makes Jihoon heartbroken, he can’t help but be happy for them. They greet each other and order their food. The couple is a bit closer to each other than usual and Jihoon looks between the two of them and asks, “What’s up with you two? Why’d you call me here? Thought it was your date night.” He’s joking, but the atmosphere is a bit serious. They’re staring at him with bright eyes and when he hears what Junhui says, he almost starts crying.
“I proposed to him.”
Jihoon’s jaw drops down to the floor and Jisoo chuckles. Junhui laughs at him and points. “See? It’s not wishful thinking that he’d marry me! It’s reality!” He now notices the shining rings on both of their ring fingers.
He shakes his head and lets out a breathy laugh. “So this is what you’ve been saving money for this whole time…” he muses. He looks up at Jisoo and nods. “Congrats.”
Jisoo smiles widely. “It’s all thanks to you that we met, Jihoon-ah. Thanks. Junhui’s the best thing to happen to me.”
“Aw, babe,” Junhui groans, but is smiling and blushing no matter what.
Jihoon cringes, but fiddles with his fingers under the table. “What did your parents say, Jun?”
He shrugs his shoulders. “You’re the first one I told. I’ll tell them later.” Jihoon’s not shocked but Jisoo seems to be. “I wanted you to be the first one I told. You’re my rock, bro.”
“Then what am I?” Jisoo asks.
Junhui smiles in a way he’s never smiled at Jihoon before. “You? You’re mine.”
Jisoo starts laughing and groaning about how cheesy that was, but he tunes it out. Jihoon looks straight down at his lap and sighs heavily. He can hear his heart shatter into pieces in his ears and can feel his hands shake. He feels the whole world against him, taunting him, but he takes it all in.
He suffers to see Junhui happy.
Even if you get lost
And it takes you a while
Come round and round back to me
Even if it’s far ahead in the future
The song comes to an end and the beat fades into silence. The crowd cheers loudly once the song ends. He tears his gaze away from Junhui and looks down at his and Jisoo’s interlocked hands and matching wedding rings. Junhui smiles and gives him a standing ovation. Jihoon holds himself back from kicking him down to the ground at his own wedding. He shakes his head and leans closer to the microphone. “This song is for Junhui and Jisoo. Congrats, you guys. You look great together.” His eyes lock onto Jisoo, who’s smiling brightly, an angel-like aura surrounding him. There’s no wonder why Junhui fell in love with him. A sad smile appears on Jihoon’s face. “I hope you stay together for a while. In this world, there’s no better match than you two. I don’t usually say things like this because it’s kinda gross, but...you guys deserve it. I love you guys.” There’s an unbearable pain in Jihoon’s chest as he stares at the ring on Junhui’s finger. His hands feel empty despite its death grip on the microphone. A sense of loss overwhelms his senses until he eventually feels numb.
It’s not until Junhui’s and Jisoo’s family are swooning and their friends are laughing maniacally that Jihoon realizes tears are running down his face. His hands immediately wipe the wetness off his cheeks, and when his eyes meet Junhui’s again, tears run down even faster. “Sorry about that. I just...I just got emotional for a second.” He switches his place at the microphone for Jisoo’s father to say some words and Jeonghan gives him a worried glance on the way back.
A wide smile is on Junhui’s face when he returns to his seat. Junhui doesn’t need to speak for Jihoon to understand. Thank you. Thank you for everything. His eyes say it all but he whispers it anyway.
Jihoon nods quickly, dabbing a napkin onto his swollen eyes. “Of course, Junhui,” he replies. Junhui pats him on the head before turning back to Jisoo and locking their fingers together once again. With his back turned to Jihoon, the younger can’t help but think what would have happened if he never introduced Jisoo to Junhui. What would have happened if they never met in the school library? What would have happened...if Jihoon told him everything, confessed to the crime of loving him?
Another shock of pain flows through Jihoon’s veins and he is once again left behind, standing second place to Jisoo. He can see the warm smile on Junhui’s face that he saves only for Jisoo and the pain worsens. Jihoon smiles sadly to himself and keeps his head down the rest of the night.