Work Text:
Your name is Kankri Vantas but at the moment you can’t remember much else. All your memories are drifting through your mind like smoke, just close enough to touch but not solid enough to grasp. You’re actually rather proud that you remember your name. Names are important… you think.
You are a troll. Right now you seem pretty small and the things around you are pretty big in comparison but you’re a troll, you’re sure of it.
You don’t know where you are though. It’s big and dark and you can’t see very far. There are things moving in the shadows and you don’t know what they are. It’s all very confusing and scary but you at least feel slightly confident that you’re going in the right direction.
You spot another troll ahead of you. It’s a girl troll. She’s a lot bigger than you. She’s wearing a lot of green, jade green, and her horns curve elegantly up and slightly in. One of them is bent at the end. It’s familiar, but…
Porrim!
That’s Porrim! That has to be Porrim. Those were her horns. That was her color, her blood. Porrim would know what was going on. Wouldn’t she? Porrim. Porrim is nice. Porrim is safe. You’re scared and Porrim will help. She cares about you a lot, coddles you, even though you don’t like it. Porrim…
She, She’s leaving. Why is she leaving you? Porrim! No, don’t leave! What’s going on! You’re scared! Porrim! Porrim! Why can’t you say anything? Why can’t you do anything? Why is she leaving? She saw you, didn’t she? She has to know you’re in trouble! Why else would you be so low to the ground, so small, slow? You can’t catch up to her. Don’t leave! Why are you small? What’s going on? Why doesn’t she care? You’re friends. You’re friends! Porrim. Porrim! Porrim!
“Prrriiim!”
The trill like screech that leaves your mouth doesn’t belong to you, or it shouldn’t, anyway. You know that’s not your voice, but you can’t deny that you said it, you wanted to make the noises and they came from your mouth. You just made that noise. What is going on? You feel your eyes water. That at least is familiar, but you haven’t cried like this since you were a… grub… You’re a grub. You’re a grub? Why are you a grub?
“Prrriiim! Per-Periiim! Periiiim!”
The large troll stops and stares at you. She heard you. Maybe she recognized her name? You couldn’t get all the syllables right. The ‘o’ sound was strangely difficult, but, maybe…
“Periiim!”
Yes. She’s walking back towards you. Maybe you can- but, no, that can’t be right. She’s not just big. She’s an adult, a full grown troll. But you recognize her face. That has to be Porrim. And she responded to your attempt at her name so… What is going on?
The adult jade blood kneels down to your level (small, way to small) to look at you better.
“What did you say, little one?”
Okay, yes, that’s Porrim, that’s her voice.
“Periiim!”
She chuckles at you. No. That’s not what you want. She doesn’t understand.
“Silly little thing. Already vocal, I see. Though that won’t do you much good with your coloring.”
“Periiim.”
“Yes, I heard.” She sighs and pats you on the head before adjusting herself to get up. No!
“Periiim!” No! Don’t leave! “Periiiim! Mmmm! Maa! Maaam! Periiim! Periiim! Periiim Maarm! Periiim Maram! Periiim Maram! Periiim Maram!”
She’s stopped moving. You crawl the short distance to her leg and latch on, crawling up it slightly. Thank god for sticky grub legs.
Hands wrap themselves around your squishy grub waist and pull you somewhere. You can’t see where they’re coming from or where they’re taking you and you screech in alarm. You don’t want separated from Porrim. She’s… she’s… what? Why can’t you remember? A moment later you’re staring into Porrim’s shocked eyes. You stop your squirming (and general hysterics) to stare back at her.
“What… what did you just say?”
You smile. She heard you. “Periiim Maram! Periiim!”
“You, you mean…Porrim?”
You squeal happily. She understood! She understood!
Porrim holds you further away from herself to examine you and you squeak in protest, waving your front most grub legs towards her.
“You… understand me?”
You squeak again and nod slightly. She stares at you with wide eyes, like you’re an alien or something. You don’t like it. You whine in protest and you can feel your eyes watering again. “Peeerrrriiiiim.”
Something in her gaze softens and she pulls you closer.
“How do you know my name?”
You stare at her and tilt your head to the side with a small frown. You were barely able to say a mangled version of her name. How does she expect you to answer that question?
There’s a noise in an adjoining cavern, like someone kicking a rock. You both turn to stare at it. There are large shadows moving in the distance. You can’t really see what they are. Porrim gasps and pulls you to her chest. You look up at her in confusion and she looks back down at you with a dawning horror.
“Periiim?”
“We have to get you out of here.” She says in a rushed whisper. You tilt your head to the side questioningly, but nod in understanding, your little grub legs grasping at her shirt. She somehow manages to pull you closer without hurting you and your vision is shaded by the transparent green of her sleeves. You can tell that Porrim is moving, moving fast, but it doesn’t look like she’s going to leave you behind.
You still don’t know what’s going on, you’re still unexplainably a grub and Porrim is still unexplainably an adult, but you think things are okay now. Porrim has you. You trust her. You’re safe.
Soon enough you sleep, dreaming of a smaller Porrim, a bigger you, and a kinder world that makes more sense.