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The ocean - eternally vast and stretching out towards the grand horizon, reflecting the golden hues of sunlight and lying in wait under the darkening sky that brimmed with unsaid words and forgotten promises.
The ocean was as unpredictable as the sudden tsunamis that came crashing down upon humankind. They dropped in, unexpected and unwanted. They came crashing in when people were at their weakest. They always seem to know when all the defences were down, and nothing done could stop them.
The ocean knew, just like Tooru knew.
Winter by the beach was never pleasant. It was always cold and never did the elegant, shimmering beauty of the waves any justice. The harsh winds of Winter were rarely welcome.
But, when those breezes mixed and entangled themselves with the salty tang of the ocean, they became slightly more bearable.
The ocean was calming and made everything alright. It soothed the hurt and anger that constantly festered just beneath the surface.
The ocean to Tooru used to be his Hajime.
His Hajime would always be by his side, no matter what.
His Hajime that never gave up on him, always standing by his side, dutifully waiting for Tooru to come around whenever he was throwing a tantrum.
Oikawa Tooru knew he was no fool.
He missed Hajime. He missed him and all his stupidly adorable knickknacks. Tooru would never admit it, but it was no secret that he loved being spoilt to death. He loved when Hajime would continuously nag at him to stop practising and take care of himself because it was proof that as impossible as it seemed, he had someone as beautiful as Hajime by his side.
Tooru was weird that way. He never wanted to give in to the chase but, at the same time, never wanted the chase to stop. He loved the thrill and exhilaration that came from never knowing what was to come.
Tooru loved being special. And precious Hajime was the only one that saw him for what he truly was and indulged him in his desires.
Because Hajime saw through him.
All everyone ever saw was the cosmetic, plastic smile plastered onto his face. No one ever noticed his insincerity and pain. No, in their eyes, he was the epitome of perfection that everyone wanted to emulate.
Tooru was sick of pretending to be someone he was not.
Hajime was this light that brought the bleary, unfocused world into colour. Tooru felt as if he had never truly seen until he finally met Hajime. His eyes were finally open to the vast endless world before him, bursting with opportunities.
But when Tooru first saw the ocean with his new lens, he knew he was a goner. The soft, calming breeze and quiet solitude that accompanied the ethereal beauty of the ocean always held a special place in his heart. Adding in the ever-changing moods that hid its compassionate nature beneath the surface and Tooru knew.
It reminded him of his best friend and lover.
He was always waiting by his side. Lingering and watching over him. Hajime was never truly gone, even if it felt like he was.