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Beatrice has always been different.
She’s known about it since she was a child. She could never focus on anything for too long. The letters in her books keep on moving and she can’t seem to catch up to them. Her mom and her step father did their best— or what they thought was best for Beatrice— and hired all sorts of tutors, but all of them just say the same things each time. They’ll spend a few weeks with Beatrice before saying that Beatrice is brilliant, and smart, but restless and inattentive. They’ll say that Beatrice is always preoccupied with something else and that she seems to know how to read but refuses to do so properly, and then they’ll quit and leave. And Beatrice will get scolded and berated because that is not how someone from their family should act.
Beatrice did her best, forced herself to sit down and not stand up from her study desk even though her limbs feel like they're burning from being forced to stay still. She stared at her books until her eyes started tearing up and her head started pounding. But it didn’t work. Not well enough, at the very least.
So her parents quit her too.
They sent her to some Catholic boarding soon where the nuns are horrible and the other children even more so. She continues forcing herself to adapt, trying to fit in and to be normal. She forces and forces and forces herself but nothing seems to be good enough. Accidents and trouble keep on following her. So they leave her be after a while, choosing to silently tolerate her because her mom pours buckets and buckets of thousands of dollars as donation to the school. They ignore her for the most part but keep on talking about her still. Eventually, the nuns quit her too and the other students quit her too.
It was only a matter of time before Beatrice quit them all.
The opportunity presents itself when she was 11 and an older kid from boarding school (who claims to be a satyr, which makes Beatrice’s head spin) smuggles her out after she caused another accident during a thunderstorm.
She is brought to Camp Half-Blood and Beatrice decides to start a new life.
Things will be different this time, Beatrice thinks.
- - -
Things are different and Beatrice loves it.
Everything makes sense now— the ADHD, the dyslexia, the attacks, and the weird things she could do. Mother Superion talks to her, tells her she’s a demigod, and everything suddenly makes sense. For once, she’s around people who are just like her. For once, Beatrice fits in with her peers. For once, she belongs and she is not different.
For about 1 whole week.
Until the skies flashed with lightning and thunder echoed overhead. A bolt of lightning hits her and Beatrice glows for a few seconds and static electricity bounces all over her body.
She gets claimed by Zeus and everyone kneels before her, looks at her with a mix of jealousy, fear, and admiration, and just like that— Beatrice is different again.
Suddenly, she’s not just a regular demigod camper like everyone else. She’s a daughter of Zeus— the daughter of Zeus. The only one of her kind for over a quarter of a century. Or at least the only surviving one. She’s the daughter of the King of Olympus and this fact draws a line that separates Beatrice from others. People start putting her on some pedestal, start expecting big things from her, start treating her differently.
She doesn’t understand it, she’s supposed to have found her place now. This is supposed to be the place she belongs in, the people she belongs to. It doesn’t make sense. Beatrice doesn’t understand why these changes are suddenly happening.
“That’s because you are different, Beatrice.” Mother Superion tells her one afternoon, when Beatrice confides in her. Her tone is laced with finality, like there’s no space for argument in whatever she’s saying, but her eyes are kind as she looks at Beatrice. “You have a gift. It may not seem like one most day, but it is a gift—one you need to learn to hone and use properly. You are different, Beatrice. That is not necessarily a bad thing.”
It’s the only time they spoke of it, and Beatrice anchors herself on Mother Superion’s words. She learns, and trains, and hones her abilities so she can use them properly.
And so she adapts, and tries her best to fit in, molds herself into how everyone says she should be and for the most part, Beatrice succeeds.
It’s fine, everything’s fine.
- - -
Ava Silva is… unexpected.
She stumbled into the camp filled with awe and the tiniest bit of confusion, dragged by Mary and one of the satyrs. She comes in like a tiny hurricane, jumping from one place to another, more excited than bewildered by all the mythical things being real. She’s like a puppy, Beatrice thinks, a very eager puppy that’s been let out for the first time.
She is nothing like what anyone ever expected from a child of Hades. All of the camp records describe children of Hades as how one would expect typical children of the Underworld to be: loners, quiet, untrusting, and quite frankly, very emo. Ava is the complete opposite of all these things. She is loud, friendly, excitable, and just plain bright. Without knowledge of her abilities, no one would assume that Ava is a child of hades.
There hasn’t been a child of Hades in camp for a long time, and even before when there were living children of Hades, they didn’t really stay in the camp, preferring usually to stay mostly in the Underworld, just going back and forth when needed. Suddenly seeing Cabin #13 with lights at night and seeing someone going in and out of it through the day is quite a sight.
It’s unexpected but quite a nice surprise.
Somehow, Ava fits seamlessly in their little group.
The relatively calm and quiet lunches the four of them used to have are now noisier and rowdier all thanks to Ava. She talks non-stop always telling stories about her experiences outside camp or asking questions here and there. It’s quite refreshing, Beatrice thinks, as she watches Camila hang on to every word from Ava and hears Mary mock and tease Ava every now and then. Even Lilith offers a sassy side comment just to ruffle Ava’s feathers which usually leads to the two of them arguing.
They’re all getting along quite nicely, but Beatrice likes to think that she and Ava are just a little bit closer to each other.
They have been spending a lot of time together ever since that night on the beach— the memory of which Beatrice both holds so dearly and tries her hardest to suppress and file away. Thinking back to it, Beatrice has zero idea as to what possessed her to kiss Ava on the cheek. She gave it very little thought that time, driven mostly by the sudden warmth that spread all over her chest when Ava told her that she sees Beatrice. It has been unexpected, much like everything that is Ava-related, and they haven’t spoken of it again, something Beatrice is thankful for.
“I hate this.” Ava groans from her position, leaning her back against one of the Greek columns of the Zeus Cabin.
Beatrice glances at Ava and sees her frowning at the thick book on her lap. “Are you still studying Greek?” She asks.
Ava nods. “I’m thankful that the letters aren’t jumping around all over the page but this is still so difficult and boring.” She looks up and pouts at Beatrice. “How are you good at this already?”
“I learned it when I was around 11. It’s easier to learn when you start at a young age.” Beatrice offers.
Ava lets out an exaggerated sigh. “It’s probably easier to learn if Lilith is not your teacher. She’s relentless!”
Beatrice laughs at this, fully aware of how badly the two seem to clash whenever they have their lessons. She is relentless, but Lilith is also the best when it comes to Greek and teaching in the camp. You’ll benefit a lot learning from her.”
“I know but still,” Ava pouts at her. “She’s so mean sometimes. I really dread our lessons, I just want to ditch all the time.” Ava sighs again before glancing playfully at Beatrice, “Want to help me ditch tomorrow’s lesson?”
“She’ll hunt us both down for sure.”
“Yeah, she probably will. I’ll just ditch on my own then, take my chances, you know?” Ava playfully shrugs before winking conspiratorially. “Don’t tell her though, okay? This can be our secret!”
“Sure, Ava.” Beatrice giggles out, finding it endlessly amusing how silly Ava could be. This is what Beatrice means when she says that Ava is not like a child of Hades. She can’t imagine Hades being this playful.
“No, that’s not good enough! You have to promise!” Ava holds out her hand, pinky outstretched.
“What’s that?” Beatrice asks cautiously as she eyes Ava’s finger suspiciously.
Ava pauses for three solid seconds before she lets out an entirely exaggerated gasp. “What do you mean what’s this? It’s a pinky promise, the most sacred of all promises. You need to honor all promises, pinky promises more so because if you break a pinky promise then I get to cut off your finger.” Ava explains in a tone that’s too formal and academic sounding for a topic like this.
“That’s a bit morbid.” Beatrice comments but quickly relents when Ava raises an eyebrow playfully. “Alright, alright,” Beatrice says with a quiet giggle. “I get it, I’ll pinky promise.”
“Okay, so come on now. Pinky promise me that you won’t rat me out to Lilith.” Ava urges, and follows up after a moment of thinking, “And that if Lilith somehow finds out then you won’t let her hurt me or maim me.”
Beatrice thinks promise or no promise, she won’t let anyone hurt Ava in any way at all, but it’s a bit weird to be thinking of something so serious such as that so she swallows the comment. Instead, she hooks her pinky around Ava’s and feels a slight shiver run down her spine when Ava tugs on their joined pinkies lightly.
“This is our secret, okay?It’s a promise.” Ava says.
It’s a pretty childish promise over a very silly thing and Beatrice knows that Ava is just being playful as she usually is. But the thought of sharing this silly little inconsequential secret with Ava brings a flutter to Beatrice's chest.
She kind of likes the idea of having something that is just theirs — just hers and Ava’s.
So Beatrice nods, smiles back at Ava, “It’s a promise.”
- - -
Another thing that is just theirs is their beach walks at night.
The beach walks turn into some sort of routine for them. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday nights, Beatrice would take a walk along the shore until she reaches the front of Cabin #13, where Ava would be waiting already. They would sit for a while, just talking. Ava is very curious and inquisitive about the most random things, Beatrice learns, and she indulges her because she likes seeing the various emotions that flit all over Ava’s face as she reacts.
“It’s stupid, is what it is!” Ava exclaims. “It makes absolutely no sense, Beatrice.”
“The alternative makes even less sense, if you think about it.” Beatrice says with a shake of her head and an amused smile.
“No, it’s fine! We just call, then slip out of camp for a bit, get our stuff, and then we’re back inside right after!” Ava explains, waving her hands all over.
“Yes, and then they’ll wonder where we came from because we will be standing in the middle of nowhere by a forest.”
“The mist is there! There’s a reason why we have this mist thing, right? And you know how to manipulate it with your big and powerful brain.”
It always amazes Beatrice how Ava shows so much conviction all the time, regardless of what she’s arguing for. She’s always so full of passion and it’s beautiful, Beatrice thinks, even if Ava is arguing about one of the silliest things Beatrice has ever heard of.
“Ava, really, I doubt we can order Mcdonald’s to the camp. It makes zero sense to have fast food delivered in the middle of nowhere. We’ll risk getting exposed.” Beatrice laughs.
Ava groans loudly, makes a face that makes Beatrice laugh some more, and relents, letting her body drop to the sand behind her, “Ugh, fine. I just miss fast food, that’s all.”
Beatrice watches for a moment, takes her time before speaking again.
“Do you miss a lot from your life outside camp?”
Ava glances at Beatrice for a few seconds before shifting her gaze away again with a hum, thinking about the question. Beatrice has been meaning to ask Ava this for a while now. She knows that Ava still has some reservations with being in the camp, has trouble with following some of the rules. She wonders a lot if maybe Ava regrets being brought to the camp.
“I miss a grand total of two things.” Ava finally answers after a couple of minutes. “I miss unhealthy food, for one.” Ava says with a grin, making Beatrice smile back.
“And I miss Diego.” Ava concludes.
That makes Beatrice stop. Ava has never mentioned a Diego before. He must be someone special if Ava misses him, right? Beatrice shifts awkwardly in her seat as the silence stretches on. She wants to know who he is but she doesn’t know how to ask without prying.
It’s Ava who eventually ends the silence. “You can ask, you know.”
“What?”
Ava rolls her eyes playfully, “I can see the wheels in your brain turning and turning. If you’re curious about anything, you can ask. I’ll answer honestly.”
Beatrice nods slowly. “Okay then. Who’s Diego, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I don’t,” Ava reassures her and it makes Beatrice smile. “And Diego is a friend. He’s from the orphanage, also. He’s my closest friend there, so I miss him a lot.” There’s a softness in the way Ava talks about Diego that makes Beatrice feel somewhat uncomfortable.
“I see.” Beatrice whispers and looks away. “You seem close.” She offers casually, or as casually as she could.
“Yeah, we are. He’s…” Ava pauses, sitting up and looking out into the sea. “For a long time it’s just been us. Just the two of us against everyone and anyone. You know, people misunderstood me a lot. I was weird and an accident-magnet but he… Diego didn’t understand either but he accepted me.” Ava ends wistfully with a certain hint of fondness.
“Oh…” There’s suddenly a weird feeling in the bottom of her stomach, like it’s being filled with gravel and Beatrice looks away. She doesn’t know what it means and doesn’t like the way it feels. Suddenly, Ava feels farther away and Beatrice digs her feet deeper into the sand to ground herself because she feels like floating away, feels the desire to lift herself off the ground and fly to where Aca seems to be. It’s a bit disconcerting, how much she is feeling right now, and Beatrice takes a deep breath, willing the heavy emotions to go away so she can continue talking to Ava.
“That’s… Um, that’s nice. It’s… unfortunate that you got separated from one another.” Beatrice says after a moment, her words feeling like sand in her mouth.
“Yeah, but,” Ava shrugs. “It’s for the best. I wouldn’t want him to be dragged into all the mess I bring with me. He’ll make new friends, it won’t be difficult. It rarely ever is for 10-year-old kids.”
What? Beatrice’s head turns so fast it almost hurt. “I’m sorry, what?”
Ava blinks. “What?”
If she wasn’t so confused right now, Beatrice would have laughed at how much Ava resembled an owl right now. But there are more pressing matters to clarify, and so Beatrice says, “10-year-old kid?”
Ava seems to catch on and she nods. “Oh, Diego, I mean. It won’t be difficult for him to find friends. Kids that age are all friendly and shit, you know?”
At this, Beatrice lets out a laugh, shaking her head at herself. The heaviness is suddenly lifted and the uncomfortable feeling from earlier is replaced by a feeling of silliness, mostly directed to herself. A sense of relief settles in her chest.
“What?” Ava asks, raising an eyebrow at Beatrice and her lips tugging up in amusement. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing, Ava.” Beatrice shakes her head, another giggle coming out of her. “It’s just… It’s nothing important, really.”
Ava snorts, shaking her own head. “You are such a weirdo sometimes, Beatrice.” She says fondly.
Beatrice doesn’t disagree. Ava might be onto something, after all. Lately, she has been feeling weird. Especially when she’s around Ava. It’s something that Beatrice isn’t really ready to prod and dissect yet so she pushes it to the back of her mind. She watches as Ava stands up and stretches a hand towards her.
“Come on, weirdo. Let’s take a walk.”
Beatrice smiles in gratitude as she places her hand in Ava’s and allows herself to be pulled up, her heart speeding up a bit in excitement. It signifies the beginning of the best part of their new routine, when Ava would pull Beatrice up and they will start the slow walk towards Cabin #1.
The walk is nice and fun but the part that Beatrice likes the most is when Ava would pull her along and not let go of their clasped hands.
Ava’s hand is a bit cold to the touch but Beatrice likes it. She likes the tingling feeling she gets on her fingers when Ava would give their joined hands a squeeze. She likes it when Ava would swing their hands back and forth gently. She likes the static that would run up her arms when Ava would gently rub her thumbs on whatever part of Beatrice’s hand it can reach.
Eventually, no matter how slowly they walk, they reach Cabin #1. Ava walks Beatrice up the steps until they stop right in front of the looming doors.
“Here we are,” Ava announces in a way that makes both of them laugh.
Beatrice nods. “I can see that.”
“Of course you can.” Ava says, laughing at herself in the slightly awkward yet endearing way she tends to do. “Um, I’ll see you tomorrow?”
They see each other every day without fail but this is something Ava never fails to ask after their walks, always while peering at Beatrice hopefully.
It always steals her breath away for a moment whenever Ava would look at her in that way. No one has looked at her like that before, like she is important and wanted— she herself, and not just her powers or abilities. It takes Beatrice a few seconds to recover, and when she does, she nods at Ava and smiles, “Yes, Ava. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Perfect!” Ava grins, as she squeezes Beatrice's hand once before letting it go. “Goodnight, Beatrice. Thanks for spending time with me.”
Beatrice thinks she should be the one thanking Ava but she just nods, smiling back. “Goodnight, Ava. Sweet dreams.”
Ava stares at her for a couple seconds more before slowly walking backwards, giving Beatrice one last wave, and turning around and walking away.
Beatrice watches her walk away until Ava disappears into the night, the shadows seemingly converging around her. They probably are, in an attempt to embrace the child of the Underworld, to protect her, to hide her away. Once Ava is completely gone, Beatrice enters her cabin, closes the door behind her, and leans her back on it. She looks at her hand, feels the lingering cold touch of Ava’s fingers, and Beatrice doesn’t resist the smile that tugs on her lips.
Spending time alone with Ava has quickly become something Beatrice looks forward to and she can’t wait for the next one already.
- - -
“Beatrice, have you seen Ava?”
Beatrice pulls her attention away from the bo staff she’s cleaning when she hears Lilith’s voice. She glances up to see Lilith standing a few feet away from her, books clutched closed to her chest and an eyebrow raised questioningly at her.
“Um, not really?” Beatrice says slowly, slightly taken aback by Lilith’s presence. Lilith very rarely seeks her out during the morning when they all have their own camp schedule and tasks lined up. “Perhaps you should ask Camila? She’s been in-charge of Ava’s schedule, I think.”
“I did already and it didn’t yield much of a result.” Lilith sighs heavily, almost exasperatedly, and plops down on one of the seats in the work area Beatrice is occupying. “I was hoping you’d know where she is. As did Camila.”
This time, it’s Beatrice who looks questioningly at Lilith. “Why would you both think that?”
Lilith pauses, eyeing Beatrice in the way she usually eyes people when they’re asking questions with obvious answers. It irritates Beatrice a bit, not liking it when people look at her like that but she pushes it down, knowing Lilith enough to also know that Lilith doesn’t mean anything by it.
“You’re always together these days.” Lilith says.
Beatrice opens her mouth to disagree but can’t seem to find strong enough words to do so. She opens and closes her mouth a few more times before simply saying, “No, we’re not.” She winces internally at how unconvincing she sounds to herself.
Based on the amused look on Lilith’s face, Beatrice knows that her statement is as weak as it sounded. “Yes, you are.” Lilith says pointedly, “Think about it. It’s been a while since Camila had to help Ava with anything in the camp, and that’s because Ava always goes to you instead.”
Beatrice wants to comment on how Lilith seems to be weirdly aware of Camila’s business but her brain is too busy thinking about what Lilith just said about Ava going to her. She thinks back on the events of this week, recalls what happens each day and she realizes that Lilith is correct, Ava does go to her a lot.
It’s only now that Beatrice is realizing that her afternoon routine has changed a lot since Ava’s arrival at camp. What used to be afternoons spent alone sparring or going through the camp archives has now been replaced with sparring with Ava together with their friends, or helping Ava with random things around camp, such as finding the best weapon for her or getting her used to the camp protocols. The realization doesn’t bother her so much as it surprises her. Ava has integrated herself in Beatrice’s every day routine without Beatrice even realizing it.
“I’m right, aren’t I?”
Lilith’s voice cuts through her thoughts and Beatrice looks at her. She nods slowly, still trying to process the realization. Her brain is conjuring so many thoughts and ideas all at once that Beatrice is having a hard time catching up to them. One question, however, is more relentless than the others and Beatrice tries to rack her brain for an answer, going over all the scenarios and memories and details of the past few weeks in her mind. But she can’t find any and soon she just finds herself staring at Lilith.
Lilith stares back patiently, silent and unmoving as she plants her elbow on the table and rests her chin on her hand.
It takes Beatrice a few more minutes before she gathers the will to speak up.
“Do you have any idea why, Lilith?” Beatrice asks quietly.
“Why what?”
“Why... this is happening?” By this Beatrice means the fact that Ava seems to seek her out a lot but she can’t find a way to phrase it in a way that will not make her head in and her palms sweat. So she settles for this and sends a silent prayer of gratitude when Lilith doesn’t give her a hard time about it.
But Lilith does stare at her for a long while, 30 seconds to be exact, before letting out a soft sigh, something very uncharacteristic of her.
“Ava doesn’t really seem like the type who’s brainy enough to have some sort of ulterior plan, Beatrice.” Lilith says as she stands up and starts gathering her books.
Beatrice frowns a bit at the implications of Lilith’s statement but she doesn’t get the chance to voice out her complaints.
Lilith fixes her with a look and shrugs lightly, “So it seems to me like Ava just really likes being with you.”
Lilith’s words make Beatrice’s eyes widen and Beatrice swears she could feel her brain actually short-circuit. Lilith continues looking at her for a few seconds more but just shrugs again when she realizes she won't be getting any reaction from Beatrice any time soon.
Lilith turns around at this and starts walking away.
“When your brain starts working again and when you see that dumbass, tell her Greek lessons will be twice longer next week.”
Beatrice barely registers Lilith’s request, her brain still stuck on the words Ava and likes being with you.
- - -
It has been more than a week since Beatrice had her weird talk with Lilith. It’s only weird because Lilith and Beatrice, through the many years they have known each other, do not do feelings talk. Not that their talk pertains to any feelings Beatrice may or may not be having. Because it doesn't. Not really. Even if the talk does suspiciously sound like a feelings talk. But anyway, it’s been more than a week since then and Beatrice, after a thorough observation of her relationship dynamics with Ava (and a secret tally of how many hours they spend together in a day), can finally concede that Lilith was right about Ava (and her preference of being with Beatrice, not the thing about Ava’s brain powers).
She’s gotten past her initial difficulty in processing this information and now, Beatrice is just marvelling at how easy it is to be with Ava.
For years, Beatrice has found it difficult to connect with the different people around her. She’s always been the different one, even when she’s with Lilith and Mary and Camila. They do have a good relationship with one another, and Beatrice appreciates her friends greatly, but she’s always been a bit of a loner, even when she’s with them. It’s not their fault, really, they have always shown their appreciation of Beatrice and have always treated Beatrice normally, but it always seems like there’s just this thin line between them that prevents Beatrice from feeling a hundred percent herself, like she’s really just like all of them.
With Ava, everything seems to come naturally. There’s no line between them and Beatrice doesn’t feel like she has to pretend to be anyone or anything else other than herself. Beatrice feels a hundred percent comfortable. She can complain about her powers without coming off as ungrateful or boastful. She can laze around without being accused of relying on Zeus’ blessing. She can be just Beatrice, and not the daughter of Zeus Beatrice.
With Ava, Beatrice feels valued for more than just her parentage.
Being with Ava is easy. There’s no need for any kind of pretense, there’s no need for any preamble. Beatrice just gets to be.
Beatrice is in the middle of tending to the flowers when she hears the familiar sound of footsteps drawing nearer. A smile instantly appears on Beatrice’s lips, knowing exactly who it is. She waits, pretends like she doesn’t hear anything, and eventually she feels hands land on her shoulders roughly, giving her a shake.
“BOO!”
She calmly turns her head and raises an eyebrow up at Ava, a laugh bubbling out of her lips when the mischievous grin on Ava’s face morphs into a look of silly disappointment when she realizes her plan failed.
“Ugh, Beatrice!” Ava groans loudly, shaking Beatrice again. “You were supposed to be surprised!”
“Was I?” Beatrice asks, still looking at Ava fondly.
“Yes! And you were supposed to do that shocking electricity thing!”
Beatrice shakes her head at this. For weeks now Ava has been randomly trying to sneak up on Beatrice, fascinated by how Beatrice can produce electricity from her body. After the first time Beatrice accidentally sent static through their joined hands, Ava has been determined to get another similar reaction.
“That could seriously hurt you, you know? Sometimes I can’t control how much electricity I expel.” Beatrice chides gently as she turns back to her flowers. She begins tending to the flowers again, slightly aware of Ava’s hands that are still resting on her shoulders.
Ava hums, slowly sliding her hands off of Beatrice’s shoulder and taking a seat beside Beatrice, her back turned to the flowerbed so she can face Beatrice. Beatrice stiffens upon seeing how close they are in this position, the side of Ava’s body almost pressed against Beatrice and their faces only a foot apart.
“You wouldn’t hurt me.” Ava says. It takes Beatrice a second to understand that Ava is replying to what she said earlier, a little bit distracted by their proximity. “You wouldn’t hurt me with your static shock.”
“I wouldn’t?” Beatrice asks slowly, watching as Ava’s lips slowly spread into a smile.
“Nope!” Ava shakes her head, her attention shifting from Beatrice to the flowers on the ground.
Beatrice waits for Ava to elaborate but nothing comes. Instead, Ava picks at some of the flowers, looking over each and every one of them with rapt attention. Beatrice feels a wave of fondness wash over her. Ava has such a short attention span sometimes. Normally, Beatrice would think it’s a weird and slightly annoying trait but with Ava, like most things about the child of Hades, it’s just charming and endearing.
“Care to elaborate on that?” Beatrice prods, lowering herself to the ground to take a seat instead of crouching. “What makes you so sure that I won’t hurt you with my static?”
Ava plucks one of the flowers from the ground and twirls it in her fingers. When she looks up at Beatrice again, there’s a happy and relaxed expression on her face, like she’s completely comfortable sitting on hard ground with Beatrice.
“Because,” Ava starts, smiling brightly in a way that makes Beatrice nervous or excited or exhilarated, Beatrice isn’t really sure, but whatever it is makes her heart thump wildly against her ribcage. “You will never do anything to hurt me. I’m sure of that.”
Then Ava raises her hand, and tucks the flower behind Beatrice’s ear. Ava's touch is so light and so gentle that if she weren't looking directly at Ava, Beatrice would mistake it for her imagination. But it is real, as real as Ava’s fingers grazing her cheek, as real as Ava’s beautiful eyes looking at her so lovingly. Realer than anything Beatrice has ever experienced and she feels her heart clench in her chest.
“You like me too much for you to hurt me.” Ava adds, this time with the all too charming grin she uses far too often. “I’m your favorite, aren’t I?” She ends with a laugh.
And in the short moment it takes Beatrice to formulate a proper answer to Ava, a hundred different things run through her mind. She thinks about how unfair Ava is being, pulling a move like this. She thinks about how curious it is that even though Ava is laughing, Beatrice is the one who is breathless. She thinks about how close their faces are, so close that Beatrice could feel the soft puffs of Ava’s breath on her face. She thinks about how her heart keeps on clenching and unclenching as if it’s getting ready to explode.
The point is, Beatrice is thinking about so, so many things. Mostly though, she thinks about how Ava— silly, dorky, good-hearted Ava is right, so very right.
“Yes, you’re right, Ava.” Beatrice finally answers, but doesn’t specify anything else. Whether she’s talking about liking Ava or Ava being her favorite, that’s for Beatrice to know right now.
But still, Ava is right, and this— the thing that has been going on between them for a long while now, this thing Beatrice just can’t deny anymore— this feels right, and Beatrice needs Ava to know that even if she can’t tell her directly yet.
“You’re absolutely right, Ava.” Beatrice whispers once more, catching Ava’s hand in her own to give it a gentle squeeze.
Ava lights up. “Of course I am.” She says confidently, and that’s that, and Beatrice can live with just this for now.
Beatrice is slowly but surely getting used to someone wanting and choosing to be around her, to be with her, and gods be damned if it doesn’t feel so freakin’ good.
- - -
A few days pass and this time, it’s Beatrice who finds Lilith.
She didn’t really plan on it, she’s on her way back to her cabin when she sees Lilith lounging outside the Athena cabin, surrounded by books as she scribbles on a notebook. She takes a turn, deciding to go the long way so she can pass by and greet Lilith.
She smiles at Lilith as she slides into one of the chairs. “Hi, Lilith.”
Lilith glances at her, pauses for a moment, before nodding at Beatrice. “Hello, Beatrice.” She looks behind Beatrice briefly, “I see you don’t have your puppy with you today.”
“Ava is not a puppy.” Beatrice answers back. She stops, thinks for a moment, before shrugging. “Okay, maybe she is kind of like a puppy sometimes.”
Lilith snorts at this, the most elegant snort Beatrice has probably heard in her life. “Yeah, she is.”
“She’s off with Mary today.” Beatrice shares. “How have you been?”
“I”m okay. It’s been a bit boring these past days though.” Lilith answers, putting down her pen and giving her full attention to Beatrice. “How about you? What have you and Ava been up to lately?”
Beatrice shrugs, “She’s been playing around with her abilities lately. Mostly with Geokinesis.”
“And how’s that going for her?”
“Surprisingly well,” She says, and then she remembers something that makes her laugh softly, “Recently, Ava’s been into this thing where she practices levitating rocks and making them fly to random directions and she has me shooting them with lightning bolts.” Beatrice thinks about the look of full glee on Ava’s face whenever the shards of rocks would disintegrate into pieces and she shakes her head fondly.
“It’s, uh, utterly chaotic, really, but also, you know,” Beatrice smiles and shakes her head. “Also so like her.”
When she finishes her impromptu story, Beatrice looks to Lilith to see the other girl staring at her, her eyes twinkling with something that makes Beatrice shift in her seat.
“... What?” Beatrice asks after a while of Lilith just staring.
Lilith shakes her head but keeps on staring at Beatrice anyway. Beatrice waits, but Lilith doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything, and Beatrice starts to mildly bristle. She doesn't like being scrutinized like what Lilith seems to be doing.
Beatrice could feel the beginnings of static tickle the back of her neck. “Lilith, seriously, what?”
“Hey, calm down.” Lilith says in a tone Beatrice knows is meant to placate her. She looks over at Beatrice, her eyes moving all over Beatrice’s form before waving her hand aimlessly in a gesture. “It’s just… You’re different lately. You seem… brighter.”
“Brighter?” Beatrice asks slowly, wondering what Lilith is on about.
“You’re more relaxed and easygoing. Like you’re having a lot of fun.” Lilith explains. “I’ve been watching you and I can see how you’re changing. You’re not like how you used to be. You're different.”
This catches Beatrice off guard. She doesn’t know how to react exactly but she feels the familiar feeling of panic rise up her throat, like how it used to when people would talk about her going against their expectations. She opens her mouth to object but Lilith cuts her off with a shake of her head.
“It’s not a bad thing, Beatrice.” Lilith says resolutely. “These changes aren’t bad. Sure, we haven't been as close but I still know you.” There’s a tinge of nostalgia and regret in Lilith’s voice that makes Beatrice feel somewhat sad as the other girl continues,
“I have known you for years, Beatrice, and now is the only time I actually see you having fun. Now is the only time I see you being actually happy. And there is nothing wrong with that. You deserve to be happy.”
Lilith’s voice is soft, softer than Beatrice is used to hearing, and it reminds her of her early days in camp, when she was just finding her footing and a rugged yet elegant looking Lilith arrives, all stormy eyes and knowing stares. It reminds her of the two of them, young and scared in a new place, bonding over shared pain brought on by their own families, stories of which were whispered softly to one another while huddled close in front of the campfire. They do go a long way back and they do know each other the best, even if it doesn't seem like it at times, even if they haven't had any of their talks in years. Beatrice can feel their friendship blooming anew and it brings a sense of comfort she didn't know she wanted or needed.
“Ava may be reckless, idiotic, chaotic, and self-centered at times, but,” Lilith enumerates in an exasperated and amused tone, a fond expression crossing her face for just a split second before it goes back to normal. “She’s good for you. I can see that. And Mary and Camila can, too.” Lilith ends with a small smile and a roll of her eyes.
She still doesn’t know how to react but for a completely different reason this time. She thinks about the possibility that her friends have been watching Ava and her interact for a while now, and then liking what they see. She thinks about how she does feel different with Ava. She thinks about how Ava— chaotic and reckless Ava— is really actually good for her, like what Lilith is telling her. She thinks about all these things but can't find any words to express them. She’s speechless after hearing everything Lilith just said and so Beatrice takes a deep breath to try to compose herself.
“That’s, uh… smart of you, Lilith.” Beatrice says slowly, and promptly winces at how idiotic she sounded just now.
Lilith laughs though, and throws Beatrice an amused look. “Well, yeah, Beatrice. I'm the smart and sensible one here, you all just need to learn how to listen to me.”
Beatrice joins the laughter, and she marvels at how light she is feeling and at how the panic is gone already. She has a lot to process but it's easier this time— maybe Ava would always have that effect on her.
They quiet down after a while and Beatrice takes the time to look at Lilith, to appreciate her friend. So much for not doing feelings talk, Beatrice muses. But she feels glad that she had this talk with Lilith. She feels glad that she still has Lilith as a friend, even if they did drift apart for a long time. Beatrice smiles gratefully, doing her best to convey her sincerity and appreciation to her friend.
“Thank you, Lili.” Beatrice says happily and almost cheekily. “For everything.”
Lilith rolls her eyes again, even as a fond smile graces her lips.
“Whatever, Bea.”
- - -
Beatrice has been happy lately.
She’s been spending a lot of time with her friends, and even more with Ava. They’re all doing well and Ava is improving a lot when it comes to discovering her abilities. She and Lilith are becoming closer again, like actual close friends that talk, just like how they were before. She’s in a good place right now, better than where she has been in a long while, and Beatrice is just really… happy.
It figures that soon enough, something will ruin her new found happiness.
More exactly, someone.
Beatrice is on her way to meet Ava when she is met by a panicked Camila.
“Camila!” Beatrice steps in front of the running girl and stops her by putting her hands on Camila’s shoulder. She sweeps her eyes all over Camila, checking to see if she’s hurt or anything.
“B-Bea, you have to—”
Beatrice frowns at the struggling and breathless girl before her. She rubs at her back slowly, “Hey, breathe, Camila. Breathe first. What is it?”
Camila nods, inhales a lungful of air several times before standing up straight and looking at Beatrice with wild and worried eyes, “Bea, you have to come, it’s Crimson and Ava!”
It’s all Beatrice needs to hear before she’s taking off, running to the direction Camila came from, with Camila hot on her heels. Camila fills her in on the way, about how Crimson came around while Camila and Ava were cleaning the bows and arrows in the weaponry and started harassing Camila about wanting to check out more weapons. Ava stepped in and Crimson has had it out for her since the first capture the flag game.
When Beatrice sees them, Ava is already on the ground, her nose and her forehead bleeding profusely all over her face and her camp shirt. Crimson is holding her electric spear up in the air, about to bring it down on Ava and Beatrice feels panic grip her entire being.
She rushes forward, places herself between the two of them, and catches the oncoming spear. She feels her body warm up as she absorbs the electric current from the spear trapped in her hand.
“Get away from Ava.” Beatrice says harshly and forcefully, using the spear to push Crimson away. “Ava, move.” She orders, glancing briefly at Ava who remained on the ground, gaping at Beatrice.
“And why the hell would I do what you say?” Crimson says with a scoff. “Mind your own business, Beatrice.”
“You hurting my friends is my business.” Beatrice answers back.
“You mean this good-for-nothing girl? She should just go to the Underworld, where she belongs. Surely it’s bad luck to have someone like her here in camp.” Crimson spits out her words with so much disgust.
Beatrice bristles at this, her temples suddenly emitting blue sparks at her growing anger. “Don’t talk about her that way.” Beatrice says, gesturing for Camila to help Ava, “She belongs here. Like all of us.”
“Like hell she does.”
“Beatrice,” Ava pants from behind her, and it makes Beatrice angrier to hear Ava sound weak and hurt. “It’s fine, I’m fine. Let it go.”
Beatrice glances behind her to see Ava being supported up by Camila. She meets Ava’s worried gaze and nods at her with a small smile, before she turns her eyes to Camila. “Camila, get out of here and take Ava.”
Beatrice sees Camila nod before she faces Crimson again. “That’s enough, Crimson. This is over. Just walk away.”
Of course Crimson does not relent, of course things have to be difficult. Beatrice turns away to move to Camila dn Ava but she halts when she hears Crimson’s smug and irritating voice.
“If she won’t go willingly then I’ll send her to where she belongs.”
Beatrice turns back to Crimson just in time to see her raise in front of her, and Beatrice feels the energy being emitted from the daughter of Ares. The gesture is something Beatrice is familiar with, having seen the Ares kids do it before whenever they want to show off. Their Telumkinesis one of their favorite tricks, and also one of their deadliest ones.
“Bea!”
Beatrice turns her head at Camila’s call and she sees various weapons float around Ava and Camila. Beatrice knows what comes next after taking aim, she’s seen Crimson and all the other Ares kids do it enough times using both deadly and blunt objects. She takes stock of all the weapons Crimson conjured around her friends and she imagines the blood and the bruises that will cover both Camila and Ava and Beatrice wants to throw up at the intense fear that drowns her heart.
She sees Crimson smirk and wave her hand and Beatrice moves because she cannot let this happen, cannot let Camila and Ava be hurt, cannot stand to see the people she cares about— the person she might very well love— be put in danger.
“NO!”
Beatrice screams and everything else happens in a blur. She just moves and the next thing she knows is that she’s once again in front of Ava and Camila, her hands outstretched. Her hands are expelling copious amounts of electricity and lightning that forms a shield around them. Beatrice holds the shield for a while, holds the weapons suspended in her static barrier, before she discharges all the energy she’s holding.
When Beatrice opens her eyes, all the conjured weapons are scattered and Crimson is a few meters away from them, rugged and jagged from what Beatrice assumes is the impact of her electrical discharge.
Beatrice is breathless and confused, wondering what she just did and what just happened. She looks around at the damage she has caused (destroyed weaponry, broken trees, a hurt and half-unconscious camp mate) and she feels her throat start closing in the beginnings of panic and anxiety.
“B-Beatrice.”
Beatrice turns at Ava’s voice, she sees the look in Ava’s wide eyes, full of fear and worry and cautiousness. It’s a look that Beatrice is all too familiar with, a look that she grew up receiving. Beatrice hated the way that look made her feel. Like she’s a danger to the people around her, like she’s a menace, and like she’s a hazard.
Now, Ava is looking at her in that same way and Beatrice feels her heart drop.
“I-Im sorry.” Beatrice whispers.
And she runs.
- - -
It doesn’t take long for Ava to find her.
She’s hiding out behind Cabin #1. It’s where she used to go when she was a kid, when she was new to the camp and things started being overwhelming. People knew to look for her in the main areas and in her cabin, but people don’t know this place. All they see is the huge front of the cabin, no one thinks to look beyond it.
Ava is quiet but her footsteps are not. Her footsteps never are— another one of Ava’s endlessly endearing qualities. It’s like with each step she takes she’s giving off so much energy that it bounces off on the ground. Beatrice is leaning against the wall, her hands on her lap. She hears Ava’s steps come nearer and nearer until the other girl is kneeling in front of her.
“Hey.” Ava whispers softly, looking Beatrice in the eyes. “Is it okay if I stay here with you?”
Beatrice nods.
“Okay, good.” Ava says. “Are you okay?”
Beatrice nods again, and tries to smile at Ava. “Yes, just… Yes, Ava.” She ends weakly before asking, “How about you?” She looks over at Ava, at her still bloodied clothes and her bloodied face.
Ava looks at where Beatrice is looking, “Oh, this, uh, it’s just blood. Camila healed me before I left her.”
“That’s good.”
Silence settles over them and it’s not the comfortable silence she is used to sharing with Ava. It’s an uncomfortable one, filled with tension and apprehension. Beatrice hates it, and she hates it even more that she doesn't know where exactly it is coming from or how she could stop it. Not when she’s feeling like this.
It takes another moment before Ava speaks up.
“Can I ask why you ran?” Ava asks so softly Beatrice almost didn’t hear it. “What happened back there, Beatrice?”
Beatrice sighs, “Did I scare you?”
A look of confusion crosses Ava’s face and Beatrice doesn’t know if it’s because her question was answered with another question or if it is something else.
“W-What?” Ava’s lips dip in a small frown. “What do you mean?”
“Earlier, when I…” Beatrice looks away from Ava and breathes out a heavy sigh again. “Did I scare you earlier?”
Understanding dawns on Ava’s face and she shifts closer to Beatrice, “You mean when you saved Camila and me? When you protected us?” Ava is looking at her incredulously.
“Why would I be scared of that?”
“I saw it in your eyes.” Beatrice answers quietly. “You were afraid.”
“You thought I was afraid of you?” Ava’s disbelief is very evident in her tone and Beatrice doesn’t answer. “Beatrice, look at me, please.”
Beatrice does and she sees Ava looking at her so very softly, “You thought I was afraid you?” Ava repeats and Beatrice nods. “I was afraid for you.”
Beatrice frowns. “What do you mean?”
“I was afraid that you’ll get hurt, Beatrice. That was what I was afraid of. It’s what I am afraid of.” Ava answers, “What happened was scary. Crimson was scary, and quite possibly crazy.” Ava laughs softly, which makes one corner of Beatrice’s lips twitch up briefly. “But you, you weren’t scary, Beatrice.”
Ava reaches and takes a hold of one of Beatrice’s hands. She slowly intertwines their fingers together, her thumb gently caressing Beatrice’s skin. “You protected us.” Ava repeats. “You protected me. You weren’t scary.”
Beatrice takes a shaky breath. She’s been so overcome with the panic of suddenly seeing the fear in Ava’s eyes that she didn’t even consider that the fear might not be because of her. She didn’t consider it because it never happened before. People never worried about her before, they just worried about the destruction she might possibly cause. And to hear Ava say these things now, Beatrice feels shaky, like she’s being uprooted from the hard and dry ground she’s been on for most of her life.
“I wasn’t?” Beatrice asks.
Ava shakes her head. “No,” She says as she brings the hand she’s holding to her cheek and presses Beatrice’s palm to her face and leans towards the touch.
“You were beautiful.”
Ava is so full of conviction, so sure of her answer as if it’s a fact that she needs Beatrice to understand. Beatrice feels Ava’s hand cover her own, and she revels at the way the soft and gentle hand seems to envelope hers, cradling it gently, almost lovingly.
“You are so beautiful, Beatrice. Everything about you is beautiful.” Ava repeats once more, then she turns her head and presses her lips to Beatrice’s palm in a soft kiss as she whispers against it, “Never doubt that.”
The gesture is so personal, so intimate, and so painfully divine that Beatrice thinks she might just weep. She uses her thumb to caress Ava’s cheek, a move meant to make Ava feel even a fraction of the heavenly feelings Ava is currently making her feel and to make sure that Ava is solid and real before her, that everything that is going on right now, at this very moment, is real.
She smiles at Ava, at this girl who is seemingly hellbent on destroying the giant wall of insecurities and anxiety Beatrice has erected around her. She closes her eyes and moves forward and closer until she can rest her forehead against Ava’s.
“Thank you, Ava.’ Beatrice whispers. She doesn’t elaborate anymore but when Ava laughs softy, her breath dancing against Beatrice's lip, she thinks that maybe Ava gets it anyway. It feels a lot like Ava will always get her.
All the while, Beatrice feels her heart slam itself against her chest over and over again, as if it’s trying to tear through her, to fly to Ava and present itself while rhythmically beating the words Beatrice hopes to have enough courage to say soon:
I’m yours, I’m yours, All of me is yours.
- - -
Things are different and Beatrice loves it.
She used to not understand it. She found Camp Half-Blood and she found friends like Lilith and Camila and Mary— these were supposed to be the place she belongs in and the people she belongs to. But it never really seemed to be the case. For many years, Beatrice felt alone and lost and displaced.
But not anymore.
Ava Silva is unexpected, but definitely a pleasant surprise. Because now, through Ava, Beatrice understands. Being with Ava makes Beatrice understand. She understands now that maybe right here beside Ava is the place where she belongs in, and maybe Ava could be the person she belongs to. Some things still don’t make sense but maybe that’s okay.
Because maybe, hopefully, being with Ava would be good enough.