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Shane moved drearily through the corridors of The Negotiator on auto-pilot, barely registering the salutes she returned to the clone troopers she passed along the way. It was only a few hours post-battle. They were inbound for Coruscant at a snail’s pace as the damaged ships in the fleet couldn’t jump to lightspeed yet. It had been a long battle, fought standing on the bridge for hours on end analyzing the field and making commands of others. She swore close combat was less tiring and less taxing on the mind.
She hesitated outside the door to her chambers and glanced down the short hallway to the general’s quarters. The light on the keypad was green, meaning it was unlocked. The general only locked his door when he wasn’t inside or when he was asleep, and war left little time for the latter.
Considering a moment longer, she steeled her spine and left her door to approach his. She knocked gently. She was almost afraid it was too soft when the beckon to come in took several seconds to arrive. Breathing deeply, she touched the keypad and the door slid open with a hiss.
“...repairs will have to be completed before we can go anywhere. Is there no one else that can go to Anakin’s aid?”
A hologram of Jedi Master Mace Windu stood several feet tall on the holotable, facing the general, his hands clasped behind his back. “The only fleet not currently engaged is yours, Master Kenobi. We will have to trust that young Skywalker can handle things.”
“Very well, Master Windu.”
The hologram flickered a few times and then disappeared. General Obi-Wan Kenobi sank into a chair with a deep sigh, running his hand down his face and over his beard, smoothing down any loose hairs. His normally perfect hair had a tendril hanging loose over his eyes, but he paid it no mind.
“Is Anakin in trouble?” Shane asked, moving to lean against the holotable across from Obi-Wan.
“Two Separatist fleets are converging on him, he was caught by surprise. We are the only ones who could go to aid him,” he explained.
“But we would lose our damaged ships immediately,” she spoke the reason she knew he had already realized and probably told Master Windu, but that in itself was not what was bothering him. “Anakin is resourceful, and he has Rex by his side. He’s gotten out of worse scrapes, and saved our asses while doing it too.”
Obi-Wan chuckled, and Shane smiled. “You are right about that, however…” A shadow fell over his face. “As this war rages ever fiercer, so does the turmoil I sense in my young Padawan. I worry how much will be too much…”
Shane frowned, “War and Jedi do not mix.”
He chuckled again, albeit dryly. “Well we are Peacekeepers, remember?” He laughed more freely, and Shane joined him. It felt good for a moment.
“You must be exhausted,” Obi-Wan continued, ever the observant leader. “You should rest.”
“I’m beyond being able to fall asleep,” she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Now I just have to wait until I pass out.” She grinned at him, eyes a little bleary from exhaustion. She continued in softer tones, “Besides, I wanted to check on you. We incurred…heavy losses today.” She grimaced a bit, not sure if her words were too blunt. One could argue she shouldn’t worry though, a Jedi master should have complete control of his emotions.
But he was her friend, and he was still human, not a droid like the armies they faced.
Obi-Wan sighed. Standing from his chair he paced to the observation window behind it. Against the backdrop of countless stars the squadron shuttered along. Smoke billowed from impact sites, and most of the fleet’s droids were hard at work keeping the ships flying. He hung his head, clasping his hands behind his back.
Shane’s vision went to those hands. They were strong, with long, elegant fingers, long ago calloused from swordplay with the lightsaber. She watched as his knuckles started to turn white.
Quietly, deliberately, Shane moved to his side and laid one of her hands over his. They felt cold to her touch, cold and tense. He released his hold on his own hands at her touch and took hers, turning to face her with an intense stare. She met his blue eyes without hesitation, squeezing the hand that engulfed hers.
“Obi-Wan…” She spoke unobtrusively, “War tries the hearts of even the hardest of men, and you are a compassionate soul. One I do not want to see broken. I will never ask you to forsake the Jedi Order for me, I’m only asking you to let me comfort you. I want to be with you, it’s all I’ve ever wanted.” She kept her face locked with his, imploring him to hear the truth of her words and let her in. “But if you bade me to stay my distance I will do that too.”
She could see the fight in his eyes, shining brightly like a match lit in the darkness of space. He couldn’t allow himself to be attached, but he feared it was too late. If he gave in, he dreaded it would lead to his ruin. He wondered if he could maintain his loyalty, renounce her if his oath called for it. She was a trained Jedi, she understood what was asked of him. She was also no longer a member of the Order because of her attachment to him. Shouldn’t he be able to return the same devotion, didn’t she deserve it? But she claimed she did not want that, only to be by his side. He wasn’t sure if he could allow himself to be so selfish.
“Shane…” he whispered, the desperation evident in his voice. The hand not holding hers lifted so he could lightly stroke the backs of his fingers along her cheek. “Whatever do I do?”
“You don’t make any decisions now,” she stated as she placed her hands on either side of his face, making sure he did not look away from her. “Just be present…with me.”
Obi-Wan embraced her, tightly, burying his face in the crook of her neck and shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him, one hand cradling the back of his head. The soft strands of tawny hair slipped between her fingers.
They remained that way for some time, neither was aware of exactly how long. They drew on each other’s strength, and warmth. Shane’s heart felt bittersweet, elated to be holding Obi-Wan in her arms but dismayed by the circumstances for it. She held him a bit tighter, feeling him return the gesture in turn, and leaning her head against his she closed her eyes to block out the view of space beyond.
The internal battles with attachments, Jedi, Sith, and war would return quickly enough; for now they were simply in the present together.