Work Text:
His flight, and subsequent trip to Spain had Ik Jun thinking of the events of the past few days. First his unwitting "confession" to Song Hwa, then the discovery of Min Ha confessing to Seok Hyeong, and Seok Hyeong's father asking him to quit medicine to run his company. His head was so muddled at this point, worse than it was over 20 years ago when he threw away the ring he got Song Hwa for her birthday. As long as he could remember, he was always torn between Song Hwa and Seok Hyeong. Now at 40, and as a well travelled man, he understood what he felt for Seok Hyeong was completely normal. But 20 years ago, he didn't know the word for feeling attracted to both of them, and even as outgoingly friendly as he was, he didn't know how to untangle his thoughts.
He met Song Hwa to ask her for advice, and to clarify what he said that day in front of her residents. She understood immediately, that goofy woman was such a force of nature. She knew exactly what he was saying without him saying anything. The empathy in her eyes was worth a lot to Ik Jun. She told him she'll think about it while he was in Spain. He finally, after 20 years, one kid, and a divorce, chose Seok Hyeong. Not Song Hwa. She understood why he couldn't tell either of them this 20 years ago. Now she understood how he needed to know for sure what Seok Hyeong felt before he made a move. It was not as easy as telling a woman, and moving on. His friend was from an old and traditional family, no matter how much he tried to maintain a flat hierarchy, and liberal values at work, there was no way of telling how he felt about this in private. If he felt disgusted, Ik Jun thinks, he won't know what would hurt more, the rejection, or the response.
On Christmas eve at Seok Hyeong's house:
The previous day, Song Hwa, and he had a lengthy discussion about how to broach this topic with him, and he asked her if she'd stay there for mental support. After all, there were few secrets between the three of them. After band practise, the other two boys left to the hospital, and he and Song Hwa exchanged a look, and he said to Seok Hyeong, "Hey, I need to say something to you." He spoke for a long while as Song Hwa kept a watch for Seok Hyeong's mother. He poured out his longing, his feelings of conflict between what he felt for him, and Song Hwa, and even his ex-wife. The years of self discovery, and self acceptance. Then of the future. "I see a future, if you agree, where I am free to be me, and you are free to be you. My son can see how love is not defined by the confines of gender, but the feelings of the heart. Seok Hyeong-ah, I know I joke around you a lot, it took me 20 years to get to the place I can be open about my affection, and love for you. I don't know how you feel, and if you feel the same as me, I know our society doesn't accept these feelings outright, and if we want to have fulfilling lives, we may have to move around. But I think you are worth it. I saw my life with you and Uju in front of the Mediterranean sea." After a painfully long silence, Seok Hyeong whispered, "What about my mother? What about my mother Ik Jun-ah? I don't know how she would take such a news. I see the dream with the blue sea, but what about my mother?"