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Coruscant was a modern marvel in a galaxy filled with phenomenal achievements. It was hard not to be impressed with the glittering skyline while simultaneously intrigued by the shadows the high-priced architecture cast. As Shane’s shuttle ferried her toward the Jedi Temple, she couldn’t help but wonder what evil was brewing beneath the surface.
She looked away from the window, a wry smile on her face. Her thoughts tended to be dramatic these days, if she wasn’t careful she would create unnecessary stress. There were still a few minutes left before arrival, so she closed her eyes and attempted to center herself. While she wasn’t a Jedi any longer, she still found the teaching invaluable at times.
“You are not focusing,” her master said.
She didn’t open her eyes. She clenched her fists and determinedly pushed thoughts from her mind, reaching for emptiness.
“Now you are focusing too much.”
She opened her eyes with an exasperated gasp. “Are you kidding me? Too focused?”
Master Qui-Gon laughed, a warm and endearing sound. “There is such a thing, especially with meditation. You must focus your mind, but also let it go.”
“With all due respect, Master, that is a contradiction in terms.” Shane felt frustrated, and sassing her mentor helped to relieve it somewhat.
His answering smile said he knew that was exactly what she was doing, and he wouldn’t entertain it. “You’ll learn as you get older that life exists in a constant state of being contradictory, my Padawan. That is why you must learn to interpret and trust the Force through meditation.” He paced around the small chamber as he spoke, his arms clasped behind him and his robe brushing the spotless floor. He settled on the round seat in front of her, legs crossed. He draped his robe around the back of the chair with a flick of his wrist.
“Try again. Focus, but let go.”
Shane smiled at the memory of her late Master. Opening her eyes she saw that the shuttle was about to pull into the station by the temple. While the reminiscing had kept her from meditating, it did manage to quell her earlier thoughts. She departed the shuttle with a few others, stopping beyond the gate to look up at the magnificent building.
It felt right being there again. Nostalgia prickled her nerves as she started toward the entrance, her boots clicking against the tile. The last time she’d walked this path it was in the other direction, her metaphorical tail tucked between her legs. She never expected to return, could never hope she would be given such a chance again.
She hated this feeling: Guilt, shame, failure, all three swirled within her like a black storm. She was right to go, she was too volatile for such a pristine order. She swiped angrily at the tears on her cheeks and pulled her hood up over her head to hide her face.
“Wait! Shane!”
His voice struck through her like an arrow, and she feared her heart would stop or rupture. She hesitated, gripping her bag with both hands. Her knuckles were white. She didn’t turn around.
“Shane, please. Don’t leave the Order because of me.” His voice sounded closer now.
Panic set in and she ran.
Her chest tightened when she remembered she would face him today, and very soon. He was on the council she was here to see. She hoped to see him, if she was honest with herself. Something in her knew if she looked upon him again she would know for sure if her feelings still lingered. If they didn’t, would she regret her decision to leave?
No, because that wasn’t my only reason.
None other than Grandmaster Yoda greeted her inside the entrance. He was leaning casually on his cane.
“Ah, young Reynard,” he greeted, and she was pleased to hear fondness in his tone. “Awaiting you, we have been.”
She bowed, knowing it wasn’t expected of her, but she still felt the same respect for the Masters she always did. “It is good to see you again, Master.”
They made small talk walking to the council chamber, at least to an outsider it would sound like small talk. She knew Yoda was assessing her, intricately comparing her now to then and back again. She wondered how she measured up.
He left her in the foyer of the council chamber to join his fellow masters. After several long minutes, she was summoned before them. Heart pounding, she smoothed her top and arranged the half cape hanging from her belt and then marched into the room with her back straight and her head held high.
She sensed him immediately, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from going straight to him. He had a beard now, the apprentice braid was gone and his hair was cropped short in the back with length left in the front, blue-gray eyes glittering beneath the bangs. He was as utterly handsome as ever.
Her heart skipped and stuttered.
Aw, damn it, she thought, I still love you, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
“Shane Reynard,” Mace Windu began, snapping her attention to him. “We summon you here to consider a…unique relationship with the Jedi.”
She felt Obi-Wan’s gaze burning into the side of her head, but she was determined not to show any more weakness. She kept her eyes on Master Windu as he spoke.
“The war has pressured us to find allies wherever we are able,” he explained, “and as such, we have created a liaison position of sorts within the Jedi for former members who meet certain criteria. You meet those conditions, Shane, and we would like to offer this position to you.”
Shane was shocked. When Padmé Amidala had told her to meet with the Jedi, she never expected anything like this. “What does the position entail exactly?”
“Ever prudent,” chuckled Yoda. “Too vague, Master Windu’s description of your duties.”
Mace Windu looked vaguely annoyed at Yoda, but that could have just been his face. “The actual duties of your position are still evolving. If you accept, you will be assigned to a Jedi Master and serve as his, or her, Lieutenant General for the duration of this conflict. Perhaps the council will also have need of you at times, to undertake special jobs.”
A grin spread across Shane’s face, she was unable to reel it in. “So you need a mercenary! You should have just said so.” She placed a hand on her hip, suddenly feeling much more at ease. “My services are yours. My loyalty has never strayed from the Republic or the Jedi.” She glanced around the room, her heart skipping a beat when she saw that Obi-Wan was smiling, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.
Mace Windu nodded, ever the stoic Master. “Very well. The council thanks you for your acceptance. There is no time to waste on ceremony, however. Master Yoda?” He nodded to the Grandmaster, yielding the floor.
“I have decided to assign you to Obi-Wan Kenobi on The Negotiator. Welcome back, Lieutenant General Reynard.”
As the council room slowly emptied, Obi-Wan stood from his chair and approached Shane. When the last person left and they were alone he said, “I’m glad you came back. It’s good to you again, Shane.”
She turned to him, heart pounding in her ears, and felt a genuine smile spread across her face. Unable to fight back the urge, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. “It’s good to see you too. To see everyone.”
He returned her embrace firmly and when he pulled away his smile had not diminished. “I have something for you. Come on.” He gestured for her to follow, and the two of them left the chamber together. He led her down to the offices and into what must have been his. It was furnished modestly with very few personal belongings around. Her eyes were drawn to two frames on the squat bookshelf, occupied by a copy of The Jedi Code and other works by Masters past. In the first frame was a photograph of Master Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan, and Shane with the young Anakin Skywalker. It was taken just before they left Tatooine, aboard Padmé’s star cruiser. Shane left the Order mere weeks later, after the funeral. The second photo was of Obi-Wan, Padmé, and what must be Anakin, now grown and handsome, flanked by his two droids C-3PO and R2-D2. The Senate building was their backdrop.
“How is Anakin?” she asked now, looking from the little boy with sun-kissed hair in the first photo to the serious young man in the second. “I heard he did become your Padawan.”
“He has grown into a fine leader and warrior, if a bit rash at times still.” She could hear pride and fondness in his voice and it warmed her. “He has a Padawan of his own now. Ahsoka Tano, a fiery young togruta woman that challenges him about as much as he challenged me.” He chuckled.
“I wish I could have seen the two of you,” she whispered, finally turning away from the photographs to face Obi-Wan. He stood behind his desk, mostly empty except for a rectangular wooden box sitting in the center. He looked at her with a sadness in his eyes. “You could have, you didn’t have to leave.”
Shane shook her head, looking away. “No, I did.”
“But why, Shane? If it was because of me, I—”
She cut him off with another shake of her head. “You’re not responsible, Obi. Maybe I can explain later, but not now. You said you have something for me?” She looked at him, her eyes imploring him to abandon the topic at hand.
His eyes were still plying hers for answers, and her heart ached, but he turned his attention to the box in front of him. “This.” He pushed it toward her and opened the lid. “My Lieutenant General needs to be fully equipped.”
Nestled in black silk sat two silver lightsaber hilts, trimmed in red. They were her lightsabers. She sucked in a sharp breath, reaching out a shaking hand to grasp one. It was cold, but warmed immediately to her touch, like it remembered. She lifted the first hilt and engaged the blade. A yellow light erupted and she stared up at her saber like she had all those years ago.
What did it mean?
Her lightsaber wasn’t the right color. It should be fully green or blue, but it wasn’t. It was yellow. The other initiates teased her for it, told her it meant she was weak, and in the middle of the night she stole away from their camp to return to the cave where they found their crystals, determined to find one that would be the right color.
But when she assembled the second crystal into a hilt and engaged the blade, it was red. She was dismayed, and went to toss it over into the canyon, but Grandmaster Yoda stopped her. That was when he sent her to Qui-Gon for training, and the second reason for leaving the Order came into her life in the form of the young Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Disengaging the first blade she lifted the second, turning it over in her hands carefully. “This is why I eventually left.” She pushed up on the switch and the red blade ignited. “Not a Jedi’s lightsaber.”
Obi-Wan’s skin took on a red tint in the sword’s light. He studied it, but he had seen it many times before. It was true the kaber crystals reflected what was in the hearts of their masters, but he refused to believe Shane’s meant she was on a dark path.
“You walk a different path than either a Jedi or Sith, but you are not corrupted.”
She was shocked to hear him say it, she thought only one person knew of her fear, and he was dead. She disengaged the blade and held both hilts in her hands, looking at them contemplatively. If something was wrong with her, then a path parallel to the Jedi had to be the best place for her. She had spent the last decade running, now she had a chance to finally find her way.
She gripped the lightsabers and looked up at him, the determined light returning to her eyes. “I’m ready to help the Jedi win this war, and maybe I’ll find where I need to be as well.”
Obi-Wan stepped around his desk to take her shoulders in his hands, his gaze meeting hers with intensity. “I will help you, whatever you need. You are my partner now, Lieutenant General.” He spoke the title with cheekiness, eliciting a smile from her. “Are you ready to meet our crew? Commander Cody will be eager to greet you, and we should be prepared if we’re needed.”
Shane nodded, clipping the lightsaber hilts onto her weapon’s belt with her blaster. She felt lighter than she had in years as she walked beside Obi-Wan toward the shuttle bay. She knew she had signed up for a difficult job and lives would be in her hands, but she felt confident she was ready for it with him by her side.