Work Text:
It’s been months since he last saw Sokka. They had broken off their relationship mutually. Sokka decided they had fallen out of love and Zuko just went with it.
Zuko hadn't thought about the other boy in about a month. He was doing so well, until it hit him. He was on his morning jog and suddenly memories of his time with Sokka flooded his brain. It was so random, so painful. He stopped in the middle of the path, paralyzed by the thoughts.
He had been doing so good, going out every weekend with Mai and Ty Lee, visiting his Uncle. He was even able to meet with Toph (a mutual friend of theirs). The pain in his heart hadn’t stopped.
“What the fuck happened to me?” He didn’t know how to feel, the regret pained his heart. He had been so spineless, he should’ve told Sokka that he was still in love, he should’ve still tried to be friends, he should’ve said something, anything to keep the boy he loved so much in his life. But he didn’t, he didn’t and now he’s suffering the consequences.
Truth be told, he doesn’t think he ever stopped thinking about Sokka one way or another. From the crisp wind in early November to the humid air in July, everything reminded him of Sokka. It just hadn’t been as intense as it was now.
Zuko got home and jumped into the shower. The scalding water covered his body, it felt good. The heat took over, allowing him to forget his one-sided love in that moment.
----
A day passes but the memories don’t stop eating away at his emotions. Sokka’s smile, his hands, the way he laughs, every little thing plagues Zuko. He spends the day in bed, thinking about what could have been, but then he gets curious. He knows he shouldn’t but he can’t help himself.
His hands tremble as he re-downloads Instagram.
What if he’s already forgotten about me?
What if he’s moved on already?
What if he’s with someone new?
The questions zoom around Zuko’s head and give him a headache.
Without thinking, he types in Sokka’s username in the search bar. He clicks Sokka’s profile and lets out a sob as he sees Sokka’s pretty face. That was enough for Zuko to drown in his own thoughts and memories. He quickly deletes the app again and cries.
What happened to him?
Zuko had done everything his Uncle and friends told him to do, he stopped using social media, he threw out all the gifts Sokka had given him, he wanted it to be over. He wanted to forget but he just couldn’t.
It was 2:35 A.M, his fingers hovered above the send button.
“Hey Sokka, how’ve you been? Hope everythings been going well with you.”
Zuko repeats the message to himself for a half hour. He didn’t know how Sokka would react if he saw Zuko’s name pop up on his phone with a new message. What if Sokka thought Zuko was drunk? Spiraling out of control, being so weak as to text his ex. He glances over to his clock, 5 A.M. He closes his eyes and attempts to sleep, his phone goes black while the message waits there.
---
Zuko knew he needed to see Sokka. He knew he needed at least a glance at the boy. It was eating away at him. It had been 3 days since memories of their time together invaded his thoughts.
What if he went to a cafe near Sokka’s apartment, maybe there would be a chance to see him. Maybe he’d come up to Zuko, surprised he was in that part of town. Maybe he’d ask to sit with Zuko, tell him about his day. Maybe they would talk and remember their relationship. Maybe Sokka would realize he was still in love with Zuko.
But Zuko knew he couldn’t do that. He had to see Sokka, but he couldn’t. He was afraid of what would happen if he did. He was afraid that when he saw Sokka he would lose it, beg him to think about it, think about them. He just couldn’t do that. 5 A.M. again, Zuko knew he couldn’t keep walking down this road of memories.
---
Sokka had texted Zuko to ask when he was coming home. Zuko thought it was strange, it was a Thursday, Sokka knew that he didn’t end class until 7:30.
After dinner, they sat doing homework together. Zuko had noticed that Sokka had been a bit… off today, but he didn’t mind, he loved the boy too much.
“I don’t think, I don’t think I love you anymore Zuko. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry because you’re amazing but-”
“I feel the same way.” Zuko didn’t, but he loved Sokka too much to fight against the break-up.
“Oh, okay. I’m sorry, I still wanna be close, but I don’t think we should date. I’m staying at Katara's for a while ‘till I find a place.”
Zuko wondered what kind of wind was blowing outside, he wanted to be taken away.
---
A week had passed, that specific memory played on loop now in Zuko’s brain.
A week passed, after months of not thinking about him, a week passed. So fast. He couldn’t deal with the pain anymore. Each day the memories hit him harder, how hard was it to forget?
After that week, the memories still plagued Zuko, but they had dwindled into smaller moments.
A month had passed, thinking about Sokka.
So fast.