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The monastery staff set the scene for the night of the ball with exacting precision. Full bowls of roses sat in the center of each immaculate table lining the edges of the great hall. Flutes of sparkling juice were readily available as well, though champagne was promised for later in the evening in limited amounts. The stone floor gleamed as if it were marble, and once the orchestra began, students took to the floor in smitten droves. Hand in hand with wide-eyed admiration, the couples of Garreg Mach began their evening of ideal romance.
Some average student, a fourth son to a minor noble house, had taken Lady Edelgard’s hand for a dance. The other Black Eagle students had varying degrees of dread or excitement for this event, and they made no mystery of either. For example, Bernadetta was adamant about spending the evening outside the hall and refused to even dance with a single person.
Periodically, Hubert would check on her and deliver a fresh glass of juice to replace one he had emptied if Petra had not already done so. Disinterested as he was in the tamer dances of Fódlan, he chose to keep Bernadetta company. Meanwhile, Dorothea had an extensive list of prospective partners and Linhardt could only be bothered to dance with a select few people, Caspar being the most energetic among them.
Despite having talked to nearly everyone in the room at least once, Ferdinand remained conspicuously absent from the dancefloor itself. Bernadetta took her eyes off Petra for a moment to see if she couldn’t locate the future Prime Minister and see how he fared in securing a dance. She felt a strange twinge of jealousy at the thought of another indulging in a dance with the vibrant, admittedly handsome Ferdinand—but that was not her place to worry about.
Bernadetta stood watch frightened by the crowd while acompanied by petra, She did encourage Bernadetta to dance if she felt so inclined, but said she would not force her. And she was grateful for her leniency in both regards, However at that time a student had asked Petra to dance, so she left Bernadetta alone saying she'd come back later after she had finished. Dancing were not meant for girls like me Bernadetta thought to herself. If she did grant herself a dance, she was so scared that the other students and staffs would look at her, the thought alone gave her a nervous stomach. Bernadetta doubted she could stomach having that much social attention even partially on her for an entire song.
Certainly not for a dance with someone Bernadetta had injured and avoided when the truth was that she found that Ferdinand's pressence was comforting once she had calmed down From how Ferdinand continuously sought her out for tea time and encourage the professor to partner them up for their weekly duties to help her socialize.
Beyond a cluster of students Bernadetta didn’t recognize, Ferdinand caught her eye and waved immediately. She could not stop the faint smile before it was already present and resigned herself to its presence, nodding in greeting. That would be enough, she reasoned, and Ferdinand would flit about his social evening of romance.
That did not occur.
Ferdinand held his gaze and made purposeful strides to where Bernadetta had positioned herself for the perfect vantage point to see as much of the ballroom as possible. That was the case until every scrap of her focus was centered on amber eyes and an infuriatingly confident smile of one Ferdinand von Aegir.
There was no earthly reason she could fathom for Ferdinand to seek out Bernadetta now, of all times. They had no obligation to fulfill, no conversation to engage in, and he had his choice of partners for dance and conversation. Having recently participating in the White Heron Cup, Ferdinand was the center of attention and several amorous designs of the student body at Garreg Mach.
What could he possibly want from Bernadetta on such a night?
He came to a stop at a slightly-less-than-respectful distance from Bernadetta, decidedly in far too familiar territory for his noble standards. Bernadetta found herself frozen and unsure what that could mean. The champagne had not come out already, had it? As the newest dancer of Garreg Mach, he may have been able to sneak a glass early and that compromised his judgment. But this was pure speculation and only delaying Bernadetta in figuring out why he was so close.
“Bernadetta von varley.” He bowed politely, hand seeking out Bernadetta's in what had to be a prank or an alcohol-fueled moment of fancy. Given her disbelief, Bernadetta allowed her hand to be lifted to Ferdinand’s lips and felt his lips pressure on the back of her hand through her gloves while feeling a sudden heat emerge from her face. Their warmth persisted after Ferdinand straightened and held Bernadetta to the spot with a glowing smile.
Bernadetta's other hand covered her own mouth in a meager attempt to conceal the embaressed expression there. Shock. A touch of fear for where this development may lead. Worse: hope. It was a fruitless effort, however. Bernadetta felt the blush spread across her face like an unchecked flame, reaching even her ears due to her accursedly pale skin From staying indoors to much.
“I am announcing my intention to court you.” He declared it with conviction in the face of Bernadetta’s uncertainty, ostensibly/apparently immune to the hundreds of eyes on them that felt like thorns against her own. “It would be an honor if you would say yes to a dance with me.”
Damn Ferdinand for making such a public proclamation. The undivided attention of those within sight rendered Bernadetta powerless to form any response beyond standing there, as inarticulate and vacant as the training dummies of the monastery seemingly to almost die inside. The time it took to collect herself dragged on mercilessly.
“Is this some sort of joke this couldn't be true, are you getting back at me for hurting your wrist?”
“Not at all! A noble is true to his word and as such I would not be so petty as to hold a grudge against anyone, especially you. Don’t tell me someone else has already captured your attention?” A worried edge to his voice carried over into an uneasy tension in shoulders as his eyes and smile alike dimmed. Ferdinand was not as resistant to doubt as he projected, but to see it all that openly suggested there was sincerity to his announcement.
A more terrifying prospect than Bernadetta had encountered in her life.
She was sorely tempted to look at Dorothea for guidance. This was a matter that she already discussed when Bernadetta first realized she had feelings for Ferdinand may be beyond simple being friends. She may have insight now that goes beyond the sentimental but unhelpful ‘follow your heart’ she originally gave Bernadetta, however that might be because she didn't tell Dorothea who she had feelings for.
When she did inevitably look up to seek out Dorothea, he saw only an ocean of eyes to the tune of stifled laughter. Half-hidden faces, piercing gazes over ornate fans in her mind. Bernadetta tried to swallow and found her mouth dry. Her mind unhelpfully provided a memories of her father's words that she heard more often in her youth than any lullaby or childhood limerick: You are a worthless unmarriable girl. The words repeating itself in her head over and over again.
And no matter how rehearsed and trained and studied, Bernadetta never outgrew the paralytic dread of the public eye focusing its intensity on her as if she would be judged in everyone's eye.
“I… Please excuse me.”
Abruptly departing, Bernadetta took her hand from Ferdinand’s and followed her tunnel vision to the nearest exit. Through the chatter of the crowd, she heard Ferdinand calling her name behind her, but Bernadetta pressed on and opened the door out with an open palm. She doubted she could stop if she wanted to—and she did not. She was drawn to the outside of the hall like a drowning man sought the shore and similarly took a deep breath of the chilled air once she located Hubert and Petra. Suddenly feeling imbalanced to almost count as faint, Bernadetta took a seat beside Hubert in which he imagined was a fairly comedic example of their height difference. After sitting down bernadetta asked Petra in tears of why she didn't come back to her side after finishing her dance. In which petra answered that after dancing she was invited by hubert to go outside and enjoy a cup of coffee to escape the crowd a bit.
After apologizing she asked “Bernadetta? Are you not feeling well?” Petra leaned forward, a glimpse of her braid falling into her view. Due to her perceptive nature and relatively short time in Adrestia before arriving at the Garreg Mach monastery, Petra was well aware that Bernadetta was easily uncomfortable near another person so Petra restricted her concern to her tone. Mercifully.
“There are a lot of people in there.” Hubert spoke from personal experience, so he naturally maintained the distance between the two of them. “Maybe you should take a break?”
I guess your right.” She admit to herself prefering the present company than the dance hall containing the whole of the student body.
For a while, that is how the three of them remained. A new song started up from within the hall, muffled but audible from their spot just beyond the peaked windows. Bernadetta sometimes hummed a tune before catching herself and cutting it short. They could not see the Blue Sea Star at present, but the others dotted the sky among the thin clouds of their breath. There was a chill, but nothing uncomfortable enough to merit going back to the hall.
Dorothea told her to just enjoy herself tonight, and it pleased her to be away from the raucous festivities at present. Soon, Bernadetta would grow impatient and already thinking of going back to her room. But not yet she's still enjoying the view whilst looking for a new inspiration on something to paint on her free time.
“Bernadetta,” Ferdinand appeared, voice coiled tight with worry. When Bernadetta did not respond, he slowed his approach to wait for some indication to come closer. “Dorothea said you may be on this side of the building.”
“Good evening, Ferdinand,” Petra greeted, not letting the atmosphere interfere with her manners.
Hubert was not so focused on social propriety and apparently feeling bold as always as he saw the opportunity to come to Bernadetta’s aid. “I don’t think now is a good time for Bernadetta to be interrupted with the likes of you?”
“If I remain at this distance, can I at least explain?” Ferdinand asked sincerely at Bernadetta, whilst ignoring Hubert's remark.
“I suppose so, as long as we're not in the middle of a crowd.” She said nervously, one of her hands rubbed the back of the other, the ghost of that kiss felt again with the presence of Ferdinand.
Ferdinand sat where he was with no regard for his likely tailor-made outfit specifically for the dance. Just like him to make a grand gesture of prioritizing Bernadetta's comfort over any expense simply by taking a seat.
“So feedinand why did you want out of your way to look for me, wouldn't you preferred talking with everyone else inside the hall.” she asked anxiously waiting for his answer in which he answerd while still trying her hardest to maintain her composure. “In my excitement to announce my intent to court you I must confess I became careless and neglected your feelings at the moment, I am embarrassed to say this was one such occasion.”
Bernadetta could see Petra and hubert leaving her to go back to the hall to give her and ferdinand some privacy. Thankfully, they left so she wouldn't be as embarrassed as she should be. She would have to properly thank them later. In a few weeks’ time, she may even manage to acquire gifts they would enjoy. Ferdinand continued on where they held their tongues, more than content to speak enough for everyone present.
“In light of that mistake, I would like to ask you once more if you will consider my offer now that we are in your element. No dance required; you have my word,” he vowed.
“Ferdinand.”
“Yes, Bernadetta?” His tone brightened that instant, evidently pleased at the progress of having gotten any response at all.
“This courtship.” The word felt foreign to her as it stood, a term in application to her that she never fathomed to be possible for her ever since she's been rejected at each turn by her father's choice of suitor. “I'm sorry Ferdinand but I don't think Bernie would be a suitable suitor after all.”she said while her father's words still lingerd in her mind.
“nonetheless, I still care for you bernadetta regardless of what you may say about yourself.”
“whaat.” she squeaked in surprise of his answer with her face turning a slight shade of pink, happening to turn and face Ferdinand at last. Of course, he’d been watching Bernadetta in wait for that very moment. A thrill ran through ferdinand at the sight of her delicate yet endearing smile.
“Bernadetta I know that you might not enjoy spending your time in crowded places like this, as such I hope we can spend time together just the two of us” Ferdinand trailed off and tore his gaze away first, a loss and an act of mercy, since it gave Bernadetta a glance at the blush dusting across his cheeks. Seeing how flustered he was helped Bernadetta to maintain her composure a bit. In response to his earlier statement she answered “perhaps we can start by having tea together just us”.
Ferdinand was delighted by the idea and was looking forward towards spending more time with bernadetta in the future.