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I waited for Spock to finish his shift and come down to the cafeteria to have lunch with Bones, Jim and I. Every Wednesday we all had a break in shifts at the same time. Since we all had high priority jobs, we’d end up working almost round the clock. Chief medical officer, Captain, First officer and Chief of security. I think the fact that we’re all still alive is pretty astounding. Bones was still clutching his coffee for dear life when Jim came over with a sneaky smile on his face. He sat down and pulled a tray of shaved ice out from behind his back. Bones groaned.
“We’re in the freezing abyss of space, and you dare to mock it by bringing ice instead of food.”
“Come on Bones, I used to have it all the time as a kid, Scotty updated the replicators overnight and as soon as I saw it, I knew it had to be done.”
“You have the brain of a child Jim.” Bones grumbled staring at the tray.
“Thank you Bones.”
“Stop bickering, or the only thing you’ll have is three cups of coloured water.” I took one of the cones from the tray. “This wasn’t really a thing where I grew up, I think I missed out on a good childhood.” Bones grumbled under his breath, something about working with toddlers. After three years with him in space, you’d think he’d be used to Jim’s antics, maybe even expect them. But no, it seems that will never happen. Spock finally steps through the cafeteria door and makes his way over to our table.
“Hello, t’hy’la.” Spock sat down and presses his fingers to mine.
“Woah Spock! Tone down the PDA, there are other people in the room too you know.” Jim jabbed.
“Captain, I am always aware of your presence. You do not let me forget.” Spock remarked.
“Well, you never greet us when you show up. I am personally offended. It’s almost like you like Y/N more than us or something.” Jim feigned hurt and placed his hand over his heart, clutching at his chest as if he were in pain.
“Captain, Commander Y/N and I have been in a committed relationship for seven months, of course, I have more affection towards and, in your words, ‘like’ them more.” I laughed at Jim’s face as Spock shut down yet another one of his jokes. You’d think he’d learn.
“Alright, well since you took so damn long, I am no longer on break. And knowing this god damn ship, there is no doubt three new medical emergencies down in medbay that need my attention. So, I will see y’all sometime later.” Bones stood up from the table. “Hopefully much later regarding the hobgoblin.” And with that, he left for medbay. I noticed Bones left his cone upside down on the table. I chuckled to myself; he was having such a fit over it and yet he still ate the entire thing. There was barely any colour left on the cone. That man is all talk. Jim and Spock had dived into a discussion about something on the bridge, so I started looking for a way to entertain myself for the duration of the conversation. I never understood how those two could still manage to have their minds on work while they were on break, but I suppose that’s why they’re the captain and first officer and I’m doing what I’m told. While staring at the cup an idea struck me. A ridiculous idea, that made sense to nobody except me. But I’ll be damned if that would stop me. I picked up McCoy’s cup and my own. I tried to stifle my laughing to no avail. Unfortunately, that alerted the other two officers at the table. Jim looked over.
“What’s got you laughing so much L/N?” Jim asked, Spock also stopped and turned to me.
“Nothing, I just thought of something funny.”
“Come on. Spit it out. You know I consider withholding jokes mutiny.” Jim pushed. Well, at least if I get court marshalled for this, I can say the captain told me to do it. I put the cups over my ears.
“I am Spock.” It took a moment, but once Jim realised what was going on, he burst out laughing. Spock, however, didn’t quite understand the joke.
“I am assuming this is a joke.” Spock stated, which just made Jim laugh more.
“Your lack of reaction is quite logical” I reply in my best impression of him, which sounded nothing like him. I watched as a wave of realisation hit Spock.
“You are referring to my ears?” Spock asked
“Indeed.” I nodded. Spock raised his eyebrow as Jim laughs harder.
“I think I will go to my quarters until the impersonation stops.” Spock stood up and started to leave. Naturally, I followed. Just without the cups.
“Retreating to your quarters seems quite logical commander.” I state, hands clasped behind my back, copying his posture.
“If you do not stop this impersonation, I fear I may have to run away from you t’hy’la.”
“That would be quite illogical of you commander.” I raised my eyebrow at him, almost daring him to run.
And then the bastard ran.
He sprinted down the corridor to his quarters. I gawked at his retreating figure for a moment, shocked that he was sprinting through the corridors of the enterprise in order to avoid my joke. I had no hope of catching up to him before he reached the door. By the time I got there, the door was already firmly closed.
“Spock please let me in.” I knock on his door.
“No.” is all he says from the other side.
“Spooooock.” I whined, now worried he was genuinely offended.
There was silence before he spoke, “As I recall, you are Spock, so you should know the code to open your own door.”
“Was that…. was that a joke?” I whispered, shocked. Somehow, he heard me.
“I am Y/N and I often make jokes. Your surprise towards my behaviour is illogical”
Alright, the man had officially lost it.
“Computer, override door, security code 33897D authorised by Commander Y/N L/N.” The door blipped as it slid open. Revealing Spock with two, round plastic cups on his ears. As soon as the door closed, I fell to the floor in a fit of laughter.
“Hello. I am Commander Y/N L/N. I am full of illogical statements and find cups on ears funny.” I could barely look at him without falling into another fit of hysterics with those cups on his ears. He didn’t even have to use his hands to hold them up.
“I am also very short.”
“HEY!” I saw Spock’s lip turn up at the side just slightly. “Alright, I concede. You win.”
“Are you satisfied with my humour?”
“Yeah, that’ll do it.” I chuckled.
“Good.” Spock took the cups off his ears and sat down next to me on the floor. He took my hand and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I would like to state, I do not understand your idea of humour.”
“Don’t try. I don’t either.” I laughed, leaning on his shoulder. He leant his head on top of mine.
“As long as it makes you smile, I am content with your illogical behaviour.”