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The Delta Quadrant was always going to be a challenge. A whole unexplored galaxy completely unaware of Starfleet and it’s merciless grip on the Alpha Quadrant? It wasn’t something anyone ever could have prepared Janeway for and she relished in it. It was a real chance to enforce her own brand of power; to watch new species bow before her and their technical might for the first time. The mixture of fear and anger in their expressions was nothing short of addictive.
Of course they weren’t the only gang thrown into this new world. A Marquis ship they’d been pursuing had come with them. Both ships barely survived the experience but that hadn’t stopped the now Quadrant spanning game of cat and mouse for long. Rival gangs, especially those that dared opposed her , never survived for very long which is how this whole mess with the rival Boss had begun.
Chakotay was a truly fascinating man. He spoke softly but you never struggled to hear him even in the middle of an intergalactic dog fight (that’d been really fun). He carried an air of calm authority around him that never wavered for a moment, even though she’d never seen him actually order anyone to do anything, at least not in a way she recognized. He was as challenging to understand as he was attractive and she was never good at resisting a challenge when it was presented to her.
Their little truce meetings had started nearly a year ago. Every month or so they’d catch up with the Val Jean; there would be the customary trade of insults, a little chase and maybe a firefight before one of them suggested discussing a way they could work together. Chakotay would come aboard Voyager, or she would beam aboard his ship and...well…
In their defence they had actually tried to talk about a cease fire, the first time. That’s when she’d found out how deep and complex this man’s mind truly was. He thought about things in ways she could never have predicted and she’d been seized by a possessive need to have this handsome man on whatever surface was closest. She also suspected the danger of getting caught might have had a little something to do with it. And the lack of viable alternatives. And his dimples, God she loved those dimples.
She had been fairly certain it would only happen once. Why he’d agreed to fuck her she had no idea and at the time she couldn’t have cared less. But the next month when they caught up with each other again, he suggested they talk truce and she’d barely gotten a word out before he’d pinned her to the nearest wall and had his way with her then and there. She hadn’t even locked the door, anyone could’ve walked in. It’d been incredible .
The door to meeting room 3 slid open at her command and she stepped inside. “You made me wait,” Chakotay turned to look at her from where he was standing, leaning against the table, “Trying to intimidate me, Kathryn?”
“Intimidate you? Chakotay I thought you knew me better than that,” she settled onto the seat next to him, looking up at him with one eyebrow raised.
“What would you call it then?” his voice was still light, but there was an all too familiar twinkle of mischief in his dark eyes.
“ Flirting ,” she said simply, internally delighting in the smile that earned. She sighed dramatically, shaking her head, “But apparently I’ve wasted my time. No matter, I’ll find company elsewhere for the night if you’re not interested.”
“Oh?” his jaw hardened slightly, the easy smile vanishing as quickly as it had come, “And just who else does the Boss of Voyager seek out when she requires company?
She resisted the temptation to roll her eyes at the blatant jealous edge in his tone. “I’m not sure that’s any of your business,” she glared at him, a warning creeping into her voice, “I enjoy you, Chakotay, but as soon as Voyager gets back to the Alpha Quadrant you know as well as I do we can’t ever see each other again.”
“Do I know that?” the flash of hurt in those dark eyes made her heart thump painfully in her chest, “Are you ashamed of me, Kathryn?”
She stood, her hand finding its way to his face. “You know I’m not,” she said quietly, feeling his hand cover her own, “But this is treachery, Chakotay. If anyone outside of this ship ever found out they’d have me killed, then you, then probably everyone on Voyager just to be thorough.”
“Then walk away,” he nuzzled her hand, his free arm finding her waist and pulling her closer, “The Marquis would take you in and protect you. We could…”
“No,” her voice was firm, but she didn’t move away, “No, Chakotay we’ve discussed this. I’ve worked too hard to get this far, I’m not giving it all up.”
He sighed, keeping her hand pressed to the side of his face, “I know.” They fell into silence for a moment, both trying to repress the aching feeling of knowing how fragile this was. She wanted him, but she could never truly have him. Not in the open way they both wanted. They had to keep up the appearance of bitter enemies fighting for power over the other if they wanted their subordinates not to assassinate them in their sleep, but it didn’t make it any easier.
She could defect to the Marquis just like Chakotay had. They would keep her safe, but she wouldn’t be happy. It would ruin years of hard work and determination and she couldn’t give that up. Not even for him. And yet, he was still here. He did everything to make her happy and just once she wanted to do the same for him.
“Will you do something for me?” she broke the silence between them, pushing herself flush against him. His hand trailed up from her waist slowly, as though he was memorising the shape of her with his fingertips.
“Anything,” he breathed, the tips of their noses brushing as he spoke.
“Tell me you love me,” it wouldn’t be the first time, for him anyway. She needed to hear it now though.
He smiled indulgently, angling his head slightly as if to move in for a kiss, “I love you, Kathryn Janeway.”
She swallowed, finally ready to tell him the truth she’d been holding onto for months, “I love you too.” His breathing hitched and his smile broadened into the one she loved more than anything, “But don’t think that means I’m going to let you or your crew escape the Delta Quadrant unscathed.”
He chuckled, finally leaning in to kiss her, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”