Archive of Our Own

Her eyes are mesmerizing.

They really are mesmerizing. Their crystal blue hue, their glow and the way they sparkle in the middle of the darkness that surrounds it. Her eyes are mesmerizing. They weren’t an endless void of nothingness like mine were. They were full of life, full of hope and full of things I couldn’t fathom.

Her blonde hair is beautiful. The way it’s painted flatly onto the canvas, yet looks so alive. I can imagine it flowing in the wind as she walks down a grand staircase. She probably hated having blonde hair and having it constantly stand out, but if I had the opportunity to tell her—I would tell her about how it makes her stunning.

Her smile is contagious. Whenever I see her portrait through the gallery window, even if I am having the worst day—it makes me smile. To see her happy, it makes me want to be happy for myself too. She has that kind of effect that gives you a reason to live. Although she’s the kind of person that would tell you to live for yourself—I don’t know how I can do that knowing that just the sight of her makes me want to hold on another day.

I could go on and on for days on end talking about all the little details I love about her. I honestly would—but I can’t. I have to wander on the streets, to complete my mission. I, Ymir am a time traveler whose job is to travel through different times to recover certain items and bring them back to the future in the year 875.

But I’m thinking of abandoning my mission. Because of her. But I’d end up having to face death in the event that I did push through with my plan.

She’s worth risking though, right?

I can’t be sure however. I don’t know who she is. I don’t know anything about her besides the fact that I’m completely captivated by her. Her painting lies inside an art gallery, and her frame lies facing a window. And every day, while I’m in the current year, I pass by this window no matter how tired and no matter how far away I am from it just to see her.

It’s odd to think that a portrait of a random girl would bring me, an immortal time traveler immense strength to carry on with my mission and at the same time, makes me feel vulnerable and puts the option of wanting to stop doing my mission at the same time. I don’t even know her name, yet she makes my heart feel different.

A high-pitched ring then goes through my head, and the watch from the company blinks. I must head back to the headquarters. And with that, I clear my mind and travel back to the year 875 with a single click on my watch. As I travel, I often see significant memories of me during times I’ve been to. But right now, it felt empty. Considering the memories you’d see were influenced by what you ought to see at the moment, there was nothing. Because I knew I wanted to see the crystal blue eyes from the painting.

“Welcome back, I’ve called you for something special,” says our boss as she paces back and forth in the room. Did she find out about me wanting to give up? If she did, that meant being stripped of my immortality. “Am I in trouble?,” I ask nervously. Being stripped of immortality means being stripped of the ability to time travel. That means, I’d never be able to return to the girl with mesmerizing eyes.

She laughs at me and hands me a sheet of paper. “Ymir, you’ve served here longer than anyone. For that, the board has decided to give you a break. We’ll be happy to fulfill a single request from you and after your break ends, you may start a new mission as a new traveler will fill in for you,” she says and walks around the room. “You can ask for anything, Ymir.”

Anything?

“I wish to be granted the authority to travel through multiple eras in time. During my current mission, I met—no I saw this girl in a painting and I’d be most thankful if I was given the opportunity to run into her reincarnations to meet her before she became painted onto a canvas,” I say with full confidence and she smiles at me. “Very well then. We’re allowing you to travel seven times. One of the seven being a way back to our current time, 875.”

She then walks through a door, and I follow her. There, she picks out seven watches, all with different timestamps. “Ymir, don’t get too attached to your girl in the painting, you know you have to return after all this. You have a year,” she says and hands me the watches placed into a velvet bag. “And if I fall in love?,” I ask. “Then you’ll find yourself yearning for her, and then craving for her presence even more especially because you know you do love her.”

I looked back at the company grounds, and smiled. I was going to find her no matter what. I had a year to use six of these watches to find her.

I put on a watch that had the year 645 on it. I remembered that time. It was a time of war, and I had to retrieve a name tag and a soldier’s letter from the battle fields, and I nearly missed getting shot. But there was something odd in my memory. There in the middle of the battle field, as I held my rifle and clutched the name tag and the letter inside my gear, I saw the same crystal blue eyes hidden amongst the opposing forces.

“Take me to the war, take me to the battle field where I retrieved the name tag and the letter. Take me there even if it could nearly end me altogether again,” I say and press the button and almost immediately, a tornado-like tunnel that would transport me to that year. It didn’t feel as empty as a while ago, it felt different. And as I opened my eyes, I caught glimpses of her crystal blue eyes in places I felt like I have been to.

“Let me see your mesmerizing eyes, once more.”

After a sudden blur, I had arrived in uniform holding a rifle with the velvet bag tucked into my pocket. “Ymir! Get ready to fire, this is the final battle,” another soldier says and hands me another gun. If this was the final battle, I hoped that after this chaos, I would be able to meet her. Even if it would cost a few gun shots, I would do anything just to meet her.

I quickly push myself down behind the defensive barrier and hide. I had to survive this battle, no matter what. I was immortal but that didn’t mean I was immune to being injured. I shot enemies from her side of the battle as they tried to come closer to our area. But I was careful not to shoot the girl with blue eyes.

With every grenade that was thrown, I was hoping she was safe. I hoped she’d get out of this battle safe and we could meet after it. I wanted to see her right now more than anything else. “We’ve got three of their soldiers, captive, as soon as they run out of ammo, retreat back to the base,” a superior says and we all nod. We continue to fire at them, but I could no longer see her blue eyes.

Was she dead? Was she injured? Was I just confused?

And what if those blue eyes weren’t hers?
“Retreat!,” the commander says as the opposing forces raise a white flag in surrender. “We have reclaimed the capital, the war is over,” they says and I quickly turn my head in different directions, searching for her blue eyes. “Ymir!,” one of the troops say and pull me into the cart. “We’re in the same cart as the captives, and being one of the few uninjured soldiers, we have to keep these three alive. You tend to the blonde girl, her arm’s bleeding bad.”

He then points behind me. There, I smiled. She was alive. She was fine. I quickly look at her name tag. Her name was Historia Reiss, she was a cadet forced to be up at the front lines knowing she could evade capture if it turned to that. But here she was, asleep in the enemy’s cart. I quickly reach for my canister and let her drink up the water. I reached for the bandages and patched up her bleeding arm. “It hurts.”

I look at her. Her eyes are mesmerizing. She paused for a moment before completely ending her sentence. “Ymir, you can call me Ymir,” I tell her as I clean the small wounds scattered around her face and her other arm. “You can call me Historia. Wait I shouldn’t have said that—you’re an enemy force of Paradis,” she says fumbling. I smiled. She was exactly my type.

“It’s fine. I don’t hold grudges against enemy forces, I just have to patch you up, drink up Historia,” I tell her giving her the canister. “I wouldn’t poison you, Historia. I’ve had too much blood on my hands and I don’t want to add another person to my kill list. Do you want me to drink out of it to prove its safety?,” I ask her and she watches as I drink a few gulps of the water. She then smiles at me.

I always knew the smile in the painting wasn’t genuine. It looked staged and uncomfortable. But nonetheless, it felt contagious. It made me want to be happy. But this smile was different from the one in the painting. It didn’t make me want to be happy. It didn’t even make me smile. It made me feel different.

Historia Reiss’ smile made me want to live. As an immortal, waiting for a death that would never happen was all I could do—it made me want to die. But now seeing her smile, I wanted to live in order to see more of them.

“You’re funny,” she says and laughs. I simply smile. If I had another opportunity like this, I’d choose to spend it with her over and over again. Even if we were in a war, perhaps explosions, fires and gunshots were the price of being able to be with her. And I was willing to pay it. Historia yawned and I quickly reacted. I brushed off the rubble on my shoulder. “Historia, place your head here. I’ll wake you up when we reach the camp.”

She did exactly that, and within minutes she was fast asleep. She must be tired. With her physique—carrying rifles and being trampled over the bulky men in the front lines would be exhausting. Her head would hang low a few times during the ride, and I made sure to keep it up at all times. “Keep your head up, your crown’s going to fall, Queen Historia.”

Her golden hair was dusty but it still shone the way it did in the painting. It was either her hair wasn’t at its finest point or the artist managed to capture a different level of her beauty in the painting. I tucked the stray bangs on her face behind her hair, and it felt silky and soft. I never imagined it to feel like this, but it felt beautiful to have her finally beside me.

As we got closer to the base, I slowly woke her up. I don’t know why, but as much as I wanted her to get sleep, I opted to wake her up. As soon as she was fully awake, the sun began to rise. We were then over a wooden bridge over a lake and the view was magnificent. It felt like a different world. We had been in a world full of destruction seven hours ago, and now I and Historia were watching the sunrise over a lake.

I’ve seen many sunsets during my immortal life, but this was the most beautiful one. Especially because I was with her.

“We’ve arrived, Historia,” I tell her as the other soldiers began to unload the carts. I escort her out of the cart and as we were about to step out, her legs fell weak. “Can you stand up?,” I ask her and bend down. “Get on my back, we’ll check your leg out at the tents.”

She gets on my back and I carry her all the way to the tents with the nurses. “Historia Reiss, cadet from the forces of Marley, held captive,” she says as we arrive and I carefully place her down on the makeshift beds. “Commander Pixis placed her and the captives under me and Officer Springer’s care,” I report to her. “She has a wound on her right arm, I bandaged it up about eight hours ago and I’ve cleaned the wounds on her face and left arm but it appears that her legs have also been injured as when we were getting off the cart, she failed to stand up by herself which is why I carried her here.”

Historia smiles at me and I was escorted out of the tent. “Officer Ymir, you may get a few hours of sleep in the quarters, I heard you took care of the Marleyan soldier,” Commander Pixis says and hands me a bowl of stew. “If you want, I could ask someone to wake you up one your Marleyan soldier is okay,” he says and ushers me towards the quarters. I quickly ate up my stew and laid down on the thin layer of mattress. “When I wake up, I hope to see you.”

I then closed my eyes, hoping that maybe I’d have enough time to truly be involved in Historia Reiss’ life.

As the weeks passed by, we slowly rebuilt Paradis from its state. Historia had slowly blended into the people of Paradis and no one treated her as an outsider. She was interrogated from time to time about their military plans and she answered every question they had for her to her full ability. But there was something that I was perhaps afraid of. It was the fact that once the peace treaty was signed, she’d be sent back to Marley on the other side of the ocean.

That meant, she would never come across me in this lifetime of hers once more.

The date before the signing of the peace treaty drew closer, and I spent more time with Historia. It had been a month since the final battle, but my time with her was beautiful. On the night before her departure, I asked her to join me for a quick hike in the hills just beyond the camp and she agreed. I picked her up from her tent and I held her hand as we climbed up the hill and we sat there, admiring the stars.

“You’re leaving tomorrow, aren’t you?,” I ask her and she says yes. I had no other choice but to accept that fact. It wasn’t like I would never see her again anyways. “Ymir, I want to leave this with you, keep it safe,” she says handing me a locket she had been wearing and as I peek inside, it had my name on it. “I have a question, why were you on the front lines anyways?,” I ask and her mood drops. “It’s okay if you don’t answer.”

She then smiles at me and looks at the moon before talking. “I’m the sole survivor of my troop. They grouped me with the higher ranking members, and when the front lines asked for reinforcement—they volunteered me and I had no choice but to oblige. I’m actually thankful that I ended up there, because if I hadn’t I would have never met you, Ymir.”

I smiled at her. If only I could stop time, I would. I held her hand. The name in locket, the thankfulness despite the fact she almost died and the way she smiled differently around me. Maybe she was falling, or maybe I was just confused. But knowing she won’t meet me again in this lifetime, I was afraid I was going to hurt her. I couldn’t just profess my love for her and never see her again, I didn’t want to hurt her. So under the sky illuminated by the stars and the moon, I held her hands.

“We may never see each other again, so I leave you with a final request. Don’t fall in love with me, Historia Reiss.”

For perhaps the last time, she smiled at me. “Sure, but no promises, Ymir,” she says as she gets up and walks back to the camp. It was sad, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see Historia after tonight—but I had more opportunities to be with her and meet her. The next day, I saw her off as the Marleyan ships picked her and the other two captives. “Ymir, remember me when we meet on the field no matter how injured okay?,” she calls out from the ship one final time. And for the final time in this lifetime of hers, I got to see her blue eyes.

Her eyes are mesmerizing. Whether they’re shining in the moonlight and amongst the stars, or whether they’re in battle with vengeance in their crystal hue. Historia Reiss’ eyes are mesmerizing.

Historia, remember me when we meet on the field no matter how injured okay?

As I walk back to the tent, I pull the velvet bag out of my pocket and rummage through the watches. I see one labelled with the numbers 712. Perhaps the next time I’d see her eyes will be in 712, I put it on my wrist and click the button, sending me into the spiral of memories bearing her crystal blue eyes.

As memories flooded into my head upon seeing her eyes in 712, I realize perhaps I’ve seen them before. If I was correct, I’ve crossed paths with those eyes as she boarded a ship and as I got off of it. I wasn’t sure, but if our paths always seemed to meet at one point no matter how subtle, perhaps it was at this moment. Perhaps at this moment, our eyes didn’t meet but maybe we both felt something.

Chances are, we both felt something that reminded us of familiarity. An unknown yet so acquainted burst of nostalgia running through both our veins, remembering the night on the hill where we both had to let go. If only she could remember her past lives the way I did. As I began to feel the spinning coming to a stop, I spoke. “Take me to the ship where I met her, in 712 the one I got off of before beginning my mission to retrieve a suitcase.”

I opened my eyes to see me still on board the ship. It had been docked, and naturally I would’ve gotten off. But this time around, I refused to as I knew that she would be here. Well that is, if what I theorized was correct. If we truly crossed paths multiple times only to head into separate ways. This time however, I would do everything I can to be with Historia Reiss for a few moments.

As the ship left, I quickly got on the deck. Admiring the never ending ocean and its vastness. I sat there as I waited for the sunset to arrive, hoping that maybe she would end up here. She had told me before that the sunset was her favorite time of the day. Historia saw it as a story. Because when the sun sets, there were things that ended, things that were beginning, people who could finally breathe, and when it lays down to rest, it allows the moon to shine.

She loved sunsets because of the numerous possible stories it could tell. It made her happy. The differences in the happenings only excited her more knowing that despite whatever was going on in our days, we all had the same beautiful view that incident a transition of change. Knowing that, I would most likely find her here out of all the other places on this ship.

“Is this seat taken,” she says and points to the seat beside me, “It isn’t,” I tell her and continue to admire the sunset. She was right, it was still beautiful despite the many stories it told. She brings out a sketchpad and a pencil, she begins to make light sketches of the view in front of us. “Um, could you just stay still, I’d like to draw you into my portrait,” she says shyly.

“Miss?,” she adds, asking for my name. “Ymir,” I reply and she smiles at me. “Hi, Miss Ymir, I’m Historia. Will you allow me to draw you into a sketch of the sunset I’m working on?,” she asks smiling and I nod yes. It was another lifetime, but her smile truly felt the same way as it did in the war. Her smile felt warm, and her eyes still are mesmerizing.

I position myself to lean on the railings, and to break the awkward silence, I began to talk. “I’m not sure if you’ll care, but I’m on this ship to get away from life back there. It’s suffocating. I’ve never really got to do anything I truly wanted to, until know,” I tell her ad she stops sketching. “I’m here because I travel around the world, capturing the most beautiful landscapes and painting them. You happen to be here, adding to the beauty of this sunset,” she says smiling at me and continues sketching.

For a moment, my cheeks were tinted a light pink. “I travel because there are things my heart has been looking for. A puzzle piece I’ve never known—I know it’s somewhere out there, and hopefully I’ll find it soon,” she says and smiles at me. She stares at my necklace—the same necklace she gave me in another lifetime—and looks away quickly. “The sun has fully set, Ymir. Why don’t we meet here again tomorrow?”

“We will Historia. I’ll meet you up here for as long as it takes for you to finish your painting,” I tell her and she yet again smiles at me. It wasn’t a time of war, and she had more to smile about—and that made me glad. It made me feel things I was afraid I’d never even feel. But perhaps this request of mine would make all that possible.

As the moonlight began to settle in, I watched Historia disappear into the ship’s cabin down below and turned back to the moon. I remembered how she looked at it that night I told her not to fall in love with me and how she smiled at me. Perhaps every time I’ll look at the moon, I’ll remember Historia Reiss. Maybe this request was my sunset, the transitional change I need to get through each day to draw closer to the moon. To draw closer to her.

As the days passed by, we sat by the same two seats at sunset with each other’s company. She would talk about the things that made her happy. The adventures she’d been on, and the mysterious nostalgia she kept feeling. I told her, perhaps she was overthinking it and it had always been with her. I couldn’t tell her about how we met in her past life, and I may have been that nostalgia but I wanted to hint at her that the journey was now over, and she’s reached her destination.

It’s been a month since I chose not to leave the ship, and we had to leave soon. It was scheduled for another trip, and it was meant to leave at as a pier across the other side of the world. “After this?,” I ask Historia as we discuss our plans after the trip. She asked me, after this what would I be up to—and to be honest, I could never figure out that part by myself. “Going home is out of the question. I’ve found a place that feels more like home.”

She looks at me confused. “After this, I’ll keep travelling. I’m at traveler after all. I need to find that puzzle piece,” she says looking out into the distance. These past few weeks, she’s warmed up to me. From her art style to the little things she refuses to tell anyone, she told me. “I’ll come with you,” I tell her leaving a surprised look on her face. “What?”

“As I said, I’ll come with you. I’ll join you on your journey to find a piece of your heart,” I tell her, looking straight into her crystal blue eyes as her face goes pink. “No one’s ever offered to come with me,” she says quietly and I feel myself smiling just a bit. “Then I’ll be the first person to. That isn’t a problem is it? Even if we may never find that piece you’ve been searching for—perhaps we’ll just enjoy the journey.”

There around 170,000 English words, and I couldn’t use any of them to tell her that the piece she was looking for—was here. But I could never be sure once again, can I? What if I wasn’t that piece? What are the odds she found someone else to love as I watched her leave for Marley? What if the reason she only stared at my necklace was because of how it looked antique and its appearance and not because it was familiar?

The questions in my head just kept flowing. Question after question, they continued to fill up with my head. I was unsure of the journey I was about to partake in—but if it meant being with Historia, it was fine. After all, we were only in the second lifetime. This wasn’t the destination yet, all I had to do was enjoy the current moment with her. There was no telling when I’d lose her amongst the uncertainties of this world we were in.

The ship docked and as fast as she could, she ran to the pier. We were in a land I wasn’t familiar with at all. All I knew was it no longer is here in 875. It was destroyed by an earthquake, causing the land to drift apart into different parts of the world, never to be reunited again. I then got worried. What if the earthquake happened right now, making the ground crack in between me and Historia?

I was nervous knowing humans with no powers can only live for a maximum of five consecutive lifetimes as they’re reincarnated. If they are able to achieve such a feat, their soul will end up wandering in a state where they are living nor dead. Their physical body may be underground, but their soul lives on a thin line between life and death. The only way to get it completely obliterated is quite brutal. As the only way is for the person to die in a fatal way such as murder, suicide or by an unpredictable disaster such as an earthquake or a fire.

And if the earthquake were to happen right now, Historia wouldn’t live on for another three lifetimes.

She smiles at me and tugs my hand as I freeze up out of nowhere. “Ymir,” she calls out to me, waving her thin fingers in front of my dull expression. “Oh sorry,” I tell her and smile yet again—giving her that as an assurance that I was okay. “Historia,” I say as I hold her hand. She looks back at me with a questioning expression and was about to ask me why I had called out her name.

That is, until I pulled her into a hug. “Don’t leave my side, Historia Reiss. Hold my hand until we reach the destination of your journey.”

She looks up at me and buries herself back into me. “I will, don’t worry Ymir. I would not do anything that would be a reason for me to let go of you,” she says and I let go of her. She then nudges me, signaling me that we should move forward and catch a train to another port in a different city. We would be late if we didn’t move now, so we both ran. We ran through the streets of this unknown country, bumping into people, knocking down boxes and even tripping over our own shoelaces.

It was a mess. It truly was. If I had been presented this choice in 875, I would refuse to do it at all costs. It was too unruly for me. But it was different. This feeling. This feeling felt—new, refreshing, beautiful, exciting and euphoric. It was a combination of things I have never felt before. And perhaps, it was all because of the fact that I was running through the streets causing minor chaos everywhere we stepped.

It felt truly euphoric. Especially with her company.

As we finally reached the train, I was trying to catch my breath. It had been the first time I’ve done something like that. She was laughing upon the realization that after all that running, she managed to snatch away three apples. “That was fun! Let’s do it again!,” she said handing me an apple. “I’m down, as long as you want to,” I smile at her and her face lights up.

It’s in the moments like this where I am able to truly capture her beauty. Her eyes remained mesmerizing despite how tired they looked, her beautiful blonde hair was messily tied into a low bun and the smile on her face was contagious. I was tired, and if given the chance would fall asleep for a week—but seeing her so happy made me want to stay awake.

As she takes bites out of her apple, our attention is drawn to a small kid who has been walking around the entire ride. Historia motions him to come over to us and gives her the other apple we had. “What’s your name?,” she asks the kid and moves away from me. I pick up the kid and put him in between us and put a scarf around him. “Ar-armin.”

“Armin,” I ask and he nods yes. “What are you doing here?,” she asks worried as a child like him was wandering around a train off to another country. “My mom and my dad—they said they were going to buy me a toy and then the train started moving and I don’t know where they are,” he says sadly as he continues to nibble on the apple. Armin was left by his parents, to fend for himself in a foreign land all alone.

Historia looked full of anger. She probably hated Armin’s parents now. Armin’s face then lights up as I pat his hair down and as I brush off the dust on his blue coat. “Will you be my new parents now?,” he asks the both of us. A surprised expression lands on both our faces and Historia’s face turns a light shade of pink. “We might get put in jail for taking you in, Armin. They might say we kidnapped you.”

Armin then got sad and his blue eyes were filled with sadness. I kneeled in front of him and wiped his tears away. “Hi Armin, I’m Ymir. And that’s Historia. We can’t be your parents buddy, but do you really want to come with us?,” I ask him calmly and my approach surprises Historia. “Yes! Armin wants to go with Historia and Ymir!,” he says excitedly. “Let’s make a deal then, if someone starts looking for you, we’ll have to let go of you. Okay, Armin?”

He nods yes and smiles. Historia then begins to pat his hair and laughs. “I never knew you were the kind to tell kids off so calmly, Ymir,” she says and I laugh at her. “Ah, yes negotiation is a talent of mine. By the way, where are we heading to?,” I ask her and she pulls out a map from her bag. “So, we came from Paradis and we were dropped off at Fort Salva, and this train is headed to Odiha. A city in the continental land’s southern border.”

We were headed for Marley. The same place where she originally was from. The place she laid her life down for. She was in some kind of way, back home. “Odiha?,” Armin asks confused. “Where are you from Armin, have you heard of that place?,” she asks him and he tries to remember where he was from. “I forgot the name but it sounded something like Swiganswina,” he says still trying to remember where he was from. “Shiganshina?”

“Yes! Wait how did you know?,” he asks me confused. In that moment, I almost told them that I had been to Shiganshina many times before as a part of my duties as a time traveler. However, saying that could make me lose all my rights to this mission, so I had to think of an excuse. A convincing one. “I saw it on a map before, it’s the south most district in Wall Maria isn’t it?”

And as the weeks turned into months, we took care of Armin. He even took the liberty of calling me and Historia his new parents. The three of us travelled together around the continent. It was tiring, but the moment you see the smiles on their faces, it was no longer there. We had found a ship back to Paradis, hoping the piece Historia has been searching for was there. She still didn’t know that she’s already found it.

I’ve spent a total of four months with her during this lifetime of hers. Five months of my time had frayed away, but it definitely was worth it. All because she was here beside me. The three of us then went up to the deck to look at the stars. It felt nostalgic. Four months ago, I had met Historia Reiss the traveler while we were boths staring at the sunset. “Mom, why isn’t the moon full?”

Historia smiles at Armin. “Well, it’s shy,” she jokes and Armin smiles. He then rubs his eyes and I carry him to our room and tuck him in bed. Historia looked worried, maybe something was bothering her. So as soon as Armin was asleep, I went up to the deck to check on her. “Historia,” I call out her name and she looks at me. She lays her head on my shoulder and begins crying. “Ymir, we’ll be docked at Paradis yesterday. This will be our last trip together. I received a letter from a friend of Armin’s and they are to adopt him.”

I was shocked. Had I known this would be the last trip, I would’ve made it better for us. I would’ve made it more enjoyable. There wasn’t any time to focus on the regrets. “I’ve given up on my dream. I won’t be searching for that puzzle piece. These past few months with you, made it feel like you are the puzzle piece Ymir.” Tonight was my final night with Historia Reiss in this life.

“Ymir, we’re splitting ways tomorrow. It won’t be an adventure or a trip any longer. Take care of yourself,” she smiled at me. “Historia, we’ll meet again. Right?,” I ask her and she looks at me, confused. “Maybe we will Ymir, I don’t know,” she says and continues to stare at the moon. I grab both of her hands and look at her.

She laughs and I start questioning myself. Did I do anything wrong? “Anyways, Ymir—I’m leaving immediately. After I hand Armin over to the Yeagers, I’ll leave. So I want you to have this, the painting from the day I first met you. Please be happy. Thank you for the past four months. See you under the orange skies, when time allows us to, Ymir.”

I stared at her in disbelief, so it’s come to this. I have no choice but to let go of Historia Reiss yet again. There were tears in our eyes, and the moonlight made her hair shine brighter amongst the darkness in the vast ocean and the endless sky that surrounded us. “Historia, we’ll surely meet in the future. In ways we’ll never realize. And when we do, don’t fall in love with me.”

That morning, when the skies were purple and pink the ship arrived at the port. The Yeagers were there, and we handed Armin over. “Ymir, I guess this is good bye,” Historia says as I see her off at the pier. I was heading back to Marley, an excuse to not get more attached to this version of Historia. “Don’t fall in love with me, okay?,” I tell her and she smiles at me under the pink skies. “I can try,” with that, she walked away from me and the ship began to fill up with new unfamiliar faces.

Her eyes are mesmerizing. Whether they’re under the pink and yellow skies of dawn or the orange and yellow skies of dusk. Historia Reiss’ eyes are mesmerizing.

See you under the orange skies, when time allows us to, Historia Reiss.

As she faded into the scenery, I took her painting and stuffed it into the bag with watches. I search for the next watch, wanting to meet her as soon as I possibly could. The next watch read 746. If Historia was 20 in every version of her I met, that meant she had around 14 years left when I left her. In those 14 years, I hope she was happy. I hope she knew that if time didn’t allow us to meet under orange skies or on the field once more—we had our chance in another life.

I click the button and once again get a surge of memories from a place where I had seen her back then. Her eyes were covered by a few stray strands of her blonde hair and her voice echoed in the tunnel. “We are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice stay!,” she says and I know where I had seen her before. “Take me to that day on the airplane, the day where I acted as captain just to retrieve a pin. Let me manipulate time into making us stay together for a bit longer.”

“This is Captain Ymir, she will be joining us at Paradis Airlines for a month while the company of Hizuru Airlines is yet to be launched,” a member of the company introduces me as soon as I regain my consciousness. “Hello, I am Ymir. I hope that we will all be cooperative as we work together,” I say smiling and the cabin crew smiles at me. “Where’s Reiss?”

Her name caught my attention, but I tried to not let it show. “She’s late again. She’s always late since she likes taking detours on her way to work,” another attendant whose name I believed to be Sasha. “Huh? Wait we had a meeting today? I’m sorry I’m late, I saw this kid on the streets and I had to give him an apple,” Historia finally appears as she ran in her heels. A few strands of her blonde her came over her face but the rest was tied into a neat bun.

“Hello, Historia, I am Captain Ymir. I’ll be with you guys for a month,” I say shaking her hand and she smiles. “Sorry I’m late, I’m Historia Reiss. One of the chief attendants of Paradis Airlines,” she says and for a moment, she stares at me and appears as she was trying to remember where she had seen me before. “Anyways, we have a flight to Fort Slava, with a two-day layover in Marley.”

“Yes, the plane leaves at 3 in the afternoon. Get ready, we have around a couple of hours to prepare,” I inform them and they nod, scattering in different directions preparing for the journey. “Reiss, I would specifically like to spend a few hours of your time during our layover. I’d like to get more familiar with you guys even if I’m staying for a month only.”

“Sure, how about we grab dinner?,” she asks and I smile at her. “Sure,” I reply and get ready for the flight. As soon as we were about to take off, her voice rang through the intercom with the inflight passenger announcements. “Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned off the Fasten Seat Belt sign, and you may now move around the cabin. However we always recommend to keep your seat belt fastened while you’re seated.”

Her professional voice was alluring. It didn’t sound at all like her playful and calmer voice when she was a traveler and it was closer to her voice as a soldier. But there was something quite different about it that made me want to play it on repeat. A few moments later, she comes into the cockpit with sandwiches and drinks. “Snacks?,” she asks in a voice similar to the one she had as a traveler.

“I’ll take my leave first, I need to stretch,” says my co-pilot and he exits the cockpit and heads into the break room. “Historia, don’t leave,” I tell her out of the blue. I turn to face her. “Here, take a seat. Hoover won’t be back too soon, let’s enjoy the view together,” I tell her and she sits beside me as she looks at the view in awe. “I don’t usually go to serve in the cockpit, the other pilots are so rude. They always tell me to stay just so they can make jokes about me.”

An embarrassed looked crosses her face. “You’re probably going to tell me off, right?,” she asks nervously and I laugh at her. “I won’t Historia. It truly is fine, let off steam. Rant to your heart’s extent,” I tell her and for a moment her face lights up. “Commander Braun is annoying because whenever I’m in the cockpit, he makes jokes about wanting to kiss me—so whenever he’s one of the pilots I avoid going in here at all costs. If it is Commander Yeager, he usually just gets mad at me and that upsets me so I avoid going in here too.”

She was simply staring out the window with a pout on her face and she was letting off steam—but I found her mesmerizing nonetheless. “I know Captain Hange and Commander Pieck mean their words as jokes but the two of them joking about how I’m the shortest attendant they’ve seen hurts sometimes. I can’t control my height can I?,” she says frustrated. “I’ve never seen this view before because I’m afraid of coming in here. I’m afraid to the extent that I’d rather get my number asked by creeps rather than stay here.”

I didn’t want Historia to get hurt. Especially during my flights. “Hey, what if you’ll come with me on all my flights?,” I ask her and she looks at me. “I can’t, they’ll definitely refuse and it’ll break the rotation,” she says worriedly refusing my offer. “I’d rather have to deal with the people back at our headquarters than see you deal with people that have made you uncomfortable. You’re doing something you love, aren’t you? Doing something you love shouldn’t make you want to break down.”

Historia was awestruck. “So, will you fly with me?,” I ask her. She nods yes. “May I ask, why did you choose to be a flight attendant?,” I ask her as she continues to admire the clouds. “To be honest, I’ve always been scared of flying. I’ve always hated the thought of running through tight hallways while being others’ slave while in the air. But I don’t know how it came to be but I remember having a vision. I looked around the same age. My hair was tied into a messy bun that hung low and I saw it through the eyes of someone else.”

“They were holding my hand as we ran through the streets of an unfamiliar place. We bumped into things and caused havoc in miniature ways. It felt fun. It felt like I was flying, and as we reached a train at the end—I thought for a moment the feeling of flying with them was going to end in a disastrous crash landing, but it was perfect. It was in that moment that I wanted to fly. It felt different. The feeling of flying was apparently the feeling my heart has always been looking for. I knew I had to do it. I had to fly.” she says narrating the exact moment from her past life.

“Captain Ymir, why did you want to be a pilot?,” she asks me and I felt nervous. I didn’t want to be a pilot at all. It just happened that this was what I had to do to get to her. But I also am one of the biggest pretenders I’ve seen. “I became a pilot because of this girl. I met her way back then. And I felt like I met her more times than I can remember. But I met her while we were on a ship, and there’s this voice inside my head that always tells me no matter what happens, I have to meet her again.”

“You must really like her,” she comments and I let out a small giggle. If only you knew I was talking about you, Historia. “I don’t like her at all. I believe so. I think I love her,” I tell her and she smiles at me. “I remember meeting her eyes for the first time and telling myself that I’d recognize those eyes anywhere I’d go. Whether it be on the other side of the world, or in the middle of a battle—I would be able to tell them apart every time.”

“Oi, I’m back,” Officer Hoover says as he sees me and Historia admiring the view together in what appeared to be the feeling of solace. She felt comfort in the fact she had finally been free of the thoughts that kept her a prisoner from doing the things she’s always wanted to. I, on the other hand, felt comfort in how she could remember the ways I made her heart beat in ways. Perhaps, if she remembered those what are the chances she could remember the ways I made her happy.

She quickly gets out and gives her seat up to Bertholdt. “See you, Historia. Don’t hesitate to tell me about the things that make you uncomfortable,” I tell her as she takes her leave. “I will captain, thank you for making me remember why I want to fly,” she says and gets out of the cockpit as Bertholdt gives me a confused look. “Yes, we talked. I would appreciate it if you guys here would stop making Historia uncomfortable. She told me about Renier and the others. I may just be a temporary pilot here, but I am still a captain. If you continue to incite discomfort around her, I will report this as an act of insubordination.”

Bertholdt sneers at me. “Of course you will, anyways—it’s almost time for the shift to change. You’re in the bottom bunk of the bed to the right in the women’s room. If you need assistance, I’ll be in the other room and Commander Pieck will be in the cockpit,” he tells me and hands me the keys to the room. As I get there, I see Sasha. “Historia’s smile is different. It seems brighter, perhaps you told her something Captain Ymir?”

“We just talked. I don’t believe my words really moved her, but I did let her remember why she’s always wanted to fly.”

We land the plane and I get excited, knowing I’ll be hearing her voice on the intercom once more. “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Marley Airport. Local time is 16:40 and the temperature is 28 degrees celcius,” she says and goes on with the other announcements. “Captain Ymir, congratulations on your first flight with Paradis Airlines. I, Commander Pieck Finger along with Commanders Hange Zoe, Renier Braun and Bertholdt Hoover and the cabin crew headed with Historia Reiss would be delighted to work with you.”

As soon as we step on to the airport grounds, the service van immediately comes. “Captain Ymir! What’s your room number?,” asks Historia as her heels clash against the floor. “308. You?,” I ask her as I pause allowing her to catch up to us. “209. I guess I’ll see you in the lobby later?,” she tells me and I nod in agreement. It would be weird to have her all to myself later, but of course my excuse would work.

When I met her at the lobby, she was wearing a blue dress and a coat that both ended right below her knees. “Oh, sorry to keep you waiting,” I tell her and she smiles at me. “It’s fine, let’s go,” she says and she held my hand the same way as she did while we ran through the streets. “We always used to come here during layovers, I’m sure you’ll like it.”

She led me into a restaurant that had the view of a sky. It was ethereal. “I get memories often whenever I’m here. I remember a girl taller than me with brown hair. For some reason, I had bandages around my arms and legs and we sat atop a hill admiring the sky. Then I gave her something that meant a lot to me. I don’t know why but every time I look at the moon and the sky, I remember that moment that never happened,” she tells me as her crystal blue eyes are filled with the reflection of the night sky above us.

We both ordered our food and we ate in silence. “So, tell me about work. The things that excite you, the things that make your heart beat,” I tell her and she smiles at me. “I don’t know why I’m bringing this up, but I like your locket. Was it from the girl you told me about inside the cockpit?,” she asks and I nod yes. Perhaps this was the thing that meant a lot to her she mentioned in her narrative. “I also am not sure if I should be saying this, but you’re final flight with us will be from Paradis to Hizuru right?”

I had forgotten about that. “Yes, do you want to join me?,” I tell her and her face lights up. “You told me I’ll be your chief attendant for the whole month you’re here. Don’t leave me behind,” she says as she tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear. “If I had the choice, I wouldn’t leave you at all. I would bring you to all my flights whether I’m a part of Paradis Airlines or Hizuru Airlines. I”d want to be with you through all the bumpy rides and the clear skies.”

She blushes for a moment. “Historia! Captain?,” exclaims a voice who I recognized to be Sasha Blouse’s. I wave at them and the party walks to our table. “I wanted to get comfortable with the cabin, so I decided to start with your chief attendant. If you don’t mind,” I tell them and smile. We then end up with all of us having dinner together and talking about trivial things. Those eyes of hers are mesmerizing, despite the discomfort they sometimes showed.

The month with them flies away out of my grasp as if it were the wind. During all the 20 flights I had during my stay, I brought Historia on each of them. She became more comfortable staying in the cockpit and looking at the view with me. She said that for once she truly felt like she was comfortable doing what she loved. Historia Reiss’ smiles were truly genuine.

“Captain Ymir, a word,” says a higher ranking official from the company. “Your last flight will be tomorrow at one in the morning. It’ll be a one way flight from Paradis to Hizuru and a captain will be filling in for you for the flight back to Paradis. Your cabin crew will be headed by Historia Reiss’ team. Would you like any adjustments to be made?,” he asks me and I nod my head yes. “Don’t let Historia Reiss or her team be my cabin crew.”

He nods his head yes. “I’ll be making Mina Carolina and her team your cabin crew for your final flight. Are you sure, Captain? You and Historia have gotten close. Do you really want her to miss your final flight with Paradis?,” he questions my decision after agreeing with it. “It’s a one way flight—isn’t it? I don’t want Historia coming home to Paradis without me. She’s gotten a lot happier this past month, and just the thought of letting her come home all alone destroys me.”

“Don’t let Historia Reiss onto my flight to Hizuru.”

As I leave the meeting room, I bump into her. “You canceled?,” she asks me confused. “Yes, I’ll see you tonight. Meet me at the First Class passenger’s reception area at twelve thirty in the morning,” I tell her walking fast to avoid meeting her eyes. For the first time, I did not want to see her mesmerizing eyes. Because I know when I’ll see them, I’ll regret seeing the decision I just made. I didn’t want to leave her. I would bring her on all my flights whether it’d be in Hizuru or Paradis. I’d bring her anywhere if it meant her happiness.

The clock struck 12:30 and I waited for her in the reception area and she came. “You’ll hate me for not letting you be a part of my crew for my last flight. But Historia, I don’t want you to go home alone to Paradis. So stay here,” I tell her as I felt tears sliding down both our faces. “But I want to stay with you until the end, Captain,” she tells me. “Historia, I too want that. However, fate isn’t on our side—this is the end.”
She continued to silently sob. “Continue to be passionate. Remember the reason why you want to fly, Historia,” I tell her, wiping her tears away. “Captain! Ymir, the flight,” called out one of the attendants. “I need to go now Historia. I leave you this as my final request. Don’t fall in love with me,” I say beginning to walk away. As I stand up she pulls me into a hug and then she ties her scarf around my wrist. “Thank you for making me remember why I want to fly, Captain.”

I felt tears running down my face. I refused to say goodbye. The moon shone upon us, and I knew that every time I’d see I would begin to remember this night of letting go. It shouldn’t be hurting this bad, right? I was going to see her again and we’d start fresh. “See you, Historia,” I say letting go of her. She smiles at me with her blue eyes. After parting ways with her, it turns out she came to see me off at the runway. As I board the plane, with all her might she screams. “Have a safe flight, Ymir. As long as we’re looking at the same sky, we’ll be fine.”

Mina’s voice echoed in the cockpit. I missed her voice, but I had no choice but to leave—right? I’d rather have someone else’s voice echo through the airplane rather than hear her on the intercom knowing it’ll be the last time. “Ready for take-off,” I say as I begin to move the plane forward. “Historia,” I whisper as I look at the scarf she tied around my wrist. I had another way of remembering the girl that wanted to fly.

Her eyes are mesmerizing. Whether looking at the clouds from the view of the cockpit or whether she’s crying because we have to part ways. Historia Reiss’ eyes are mesmerizing.

I’ll stay safe for you, Historia. As long as we’re looking at the same sky, we’ll be fine.

We landed in Hizuru, and I looked across the oceans and mountains. I thought to myself, “is she okay?” She probably would have forgotten about her worries about me—but I still was worried if she’d be able to stay safe and truly happy. I trust Historia enough that she’ll keep smiling. I trust her enough that when we meet under the same sky, whether it’s on a battle field, under the sunset or while in the sky, she’ll be happy. She’ll still smile.

I rummage through the velvet bag. I found the third to the last watch. It had the year 789 written on it. Assuming my computations were correct, Historia only lived until she was 43 years old when she was a flight attendant. I take a deep breath and click the button on the watch and it takes me to the oh-so familiar tunnel filled with the memories of us. I hated how I didn’t want to hear the words I told her even if my heart didn’t seek for it. Perhaps wanting to see her again made me remember our last moments together as the words “Don’t fall in love with me,” echoed.

Her crystal blue eyes then appear and they looked off. They weren’t happy, they weren’t filled with mystery and they didn’t even appear to have emotions. Her eyes were drained of all feeling. She looked numb. She looked drained of all things that made life happy. She looked like what could have been if I had not saved her that day. Lots of voices then replace the sound of my own voice.

“Historia attempted to kill herself in the dressing room? No one came to her performance so she almost did it?”

Then it hit me. I had been to a performance around this time before heading back to 875. Based on what they were saying, I assumed that during her fourth lifetime Historia Reiss was an actress. A theater actress. As one would assume, holding performances around this time was quite rare and anticipated. Yes, they would be the talk of the town but when the day of the performance came, the actors would often find themselves performing to a nearly empty auditorium.

I then whisper to the watch, hoping I’d arrive just in time for what possibly could be her last show. If I was too late, there was another lifetime to look forward to with her right? Unless she’d die drastically. I had to arrive there as soon as possible. With that, I finally find the words to say. “Take me to her show. The show she wanted millions to see. If there won’t be a million to attend, then I’ll cheer for her louder than a million people possibly could.”

And with that, I land somewhere on the streets. I turn around to see an auditorium and a sign on it read, “Take Off: a Flight Attendant’s Story, Starring Historia Reiss”. My assumptions were correct. She was a theater actress and judging by the people just walking past, barely anyone was there to support her. Yet, even if you were faced with an empty auditorium but one person has come to watch, the show must go on.

So I quickly bought tickets and ran inside the auditorium to see only five other people there. I take a seat in the front row, and soon the curtains were drawn. As Historia walked out, her expression dropped and she quickly covered it up. I could tell she was crying as it seemed I was the only one interested in her show. She was on the verge of breaking down, and she wanted to end her embarrassment right there.

Historia finished her singing a song about her dedication to serving customers on the plane for the climax, and as the final note sounded through the air it appeared as if no one cared but me. So I stood up. And clapped. There were even tears streaming down my face, just to let her know that I truly did care about her. That even if the world didn’t know her name, I did. “Bravo!,” I cheered as she stared at me with tears of joy flowing down her face.

My act caught the attention of the audience and they too paid more attention to her as the show went on. She began to give more than her all as well. And as the performance finished, we were all giving her standing ovations. There were only six people cheering for her, but the expression in her face and the glow in her blue eyes made it seem that she had just performed at a fully booked theater. She then bowed as I threw roses onto the stage.

I waited for her to leave the auditorium. “Historia Reiss, hello I’m Ymir. I’m a big fan of yours, and this is the first time I’ve been to your shows. Thank you for performing,” I tell her and she stops walking. “Ymir,” she says and looks at me in my simple ensemble of a black jumpsuit. “How would you feel if I took you out for coffee? My treat. It’s the least I can do for the only person who cheered for me throughout my whole performance.”

I nod yes and her manager escorts the two of us into a quiet café in the outskirts of town. “You did great today,” I tell her and she finally smiles. “I don’t feel like I did well to be honest with you, Ymir. Everyone was talking about my show and when I came out I thought the security just did a great job at maintaining the silence but there were only six of you there. I didn’t want to perform, but I had to.”

Her eyes were full of pain. Nothing but pain in fact. “I’ve waited for this moment for so long. But I guess my own expectations knocked me down onto the ground and dealt me a great blow,” she says stirring her coffee with a teaspoon. “I honestly don’t know what to say. But it’s okay to expect. You worked hard for this moment, right? The thought of expecting assures us that everything will be fine. It’s fine to expect—if it means we’re also ready to face reality and identify our expectations as a sense of security.”

“You’re right. The moment you stood up after the song, I broke down. I had to let my tears out. Because no one has ever cheered for me like that. Even if I was a minor character in major productions, no one’s cheered for me as loud as you. The rose you threw onto stage was actually the first I’ve gotten,” she confesses then takes a sip of her drink. I was left in awe. She truly was talented, but no one knew her name at all. I felt sorry for them.

“That show a while ago might as well be my last. Thank you for cheering me on until the end,” she says with a sad look on her face. I then stand up shocking her and in turn alerting her managers. “I don’t want to come off rude but Historia, a single bad scene doesn’t mean the whole play will turn out bad. We all have our time in the back and our time in center, we’ll get there soon enough. Historia, don’t ever stop performing. There are people who may be ignoring you right now, but the day will come where you’ll be able to show them that you will dominate the spotlight.”

Her face turns pink and she had been left in awe by what I said. She stands up to face me, alerting her manager more. “You know what, you’re right. But is that really enough of a reason for me to stay in show business?,” she glares at me. “As they often say. As long as there is a person in the audience—even if it’s them alone, the show must go on. Please keep the show going, I’ll always be in the audience rooting for you. If you want a thousand people to come to your show, even if I’m the only one who shows up, I’ll cheer louder than those thousand.”

Once again, with my words she’s left in awe and we both sit down. She takes a sip of her coffee while eyeing me. “Okay then. I’ll make a deal with you. As long as you can stand by those words—I’ll always be in the audience rooting for you—I’ll keep performing. The art of performance ignites so much joy in me, and I’d hate to stop in all honesty. What do you say?,” she suggests. I take a deep breathe, and without any hesitation at all, I answer. “Okay. I’ll keep supporting you until the very the day of your last show.”

She then smiles at me, and for once, she looked like she had hope. And ever since that day, Historia Reiss kept on performing. She performed her heart out. Three weeks passed by like a blur and from the six people in an auditorium, she steadily grew to around 400 people inside the same auditorium. Through ups and downs, I was there with her still throwing flowers onto the stage. She felt hopeful. She really did love performing, but she didn’t have anyone to cheer her on—so I did my best to let her know that every time she steps foot on stage, everyone’s eyes are focused on her.

She would often meet me before her shows, to ensure I was there. It wasn’t a problem though, it wasn’t like I was going away anyways, right? I wanted to keep my word even for a few months, I had already used up more than half of the time I had left. I definitely still had time to lay around and enjoy my time with Historia, but inevitably I would probably regret this. But Historia Reiss was worth feeling regret over. I’d spend my lufe regretting things if it meant being with her for a few moments.

Every time the curtains would close, I would be there cheering out her name. I would always be there in the front row calling out her name and making sure that she was having fun. Even if it embarrassed me at times, seeing her smile after it all made me happy. It gave me a sense of accomplishment and it gave her a sense of pride. She knew that as long as I was in the crowd, as long as I was there she had a reason to keep performing. The show would go on.

“Break a leg, Historia,” I tell her as I see her off into her dressing room. Today, she had a role in a horror play about a lost girl finding solace inside of a haunted house. She was perfectly suited for the role as she knew how to let out emotions in a way that even the audience that didn’t care about the production, would still be able to feel fear inside of their hearts with her acting. It was beautiful. It was art. Everything Historia Reiss did truly was a form of art one way or another.

As the curtains closed after her final scene, everyone was cheering her name. I wasn’t left alone cheering and throwing flowers for her. She didn’t have the main role, she actually had a minor role instead but everyone’s praise went to her. It was a beautiful sight to see. She was crying, but she wasn’t crying the way she did when I first met her in this life. She was no longer numb. She was no longer crying because she was pained. She was crying the same way when I cheered for her.

Historia Reiss was crying tears of joy. She was happy to be here. The petals of the red roses were showering her. For once, even if she was in the background—she turned out to be the actress in the spotlight.

With tears still in her eyes, she runs over to me as I wait for her by the backstage exit. “I’ve never been prouder of you, Historia. You’ve done it,” I tell her embracing her into a hug and she hugs back. “If it wasn’t because of what you said that day at the café, I never would’ve been able to be here,” she replies and smiles at me. “Historia Reiss?,” a tall man call out to us. I immediately let go of her and she approaches him. “I’m Erwin Smith, I’m a scouting agent for actresses. How would you like to be the main role of our next big production?”

He then hands over a calling card and walks away. We both look at it in disbelief and her eyes light up. Erwin Smith was from the theater company she’s always dreamed to be a part of. “Ymir! I made it! I did it,” she says sobbing into me as I rub her back. Historia Reiss was slowly but surely making her dreams come true each and every day. I was glad to be a part of her journey.

Naturally, Historia accepted the request. It was to be performed at the biggest theater in Mitras. She was excited and nervous at the same time. But I knew she could do it. It was set to happen around two months from now. I knew I had to be there for her. So I extended my stay in 789, and that show of her will be the last I’ll be in attendance. The big day then soon arrived.

It was the night of the final rehearsal, she was anxious. To calm her down, I offered to accompany her for one last time on the backstage balcony of her backstage room. As I was on my way to meet her, Erwin pulled me aside. “If you’re going to meet Historia, make sure no one sees. Remember what we talked about, Ymir,” he says and the memories of that day he also pulled me aside flooded into my brain.

“You’re Historia’s special friend right?,” he asks calmly and I nod my head yes. “Ymir, you see the speculation about you and her dating is gradually increasing. If you want to save her career, let go of her now,” he orders me. It was the right thing to do. I had to let go. “Okay,” I tell him and he lets me go. This is why this show is the final one of hers I’ll be watching.

I then meet her at the balcony as promised. I find her staring at the moon. “Hey,” she calls out to me and smiles. “Ymir, tomorrow is the big show. Thank you for being with me from the start. Without you, I wouldn’t be able to be here right now,” she tells me as the moonlight gives an exquisite glow to her crystal eyes. “Erwin told me to stay away from you. I can’t meet you anymore, even in private. However, I’ll keep my word. I’ll still be at each and every show you’ll be in cheering on you.”

Her expression changes. “Ymir,” she calls out my name. “This actually is my last time with you in private. I can’t see you after this. So Historia, as long as there is someone cheering for you—continue to fight. The show must go on,” I tell her as I begin to feel tears sliding down my face. “I will, but promise me you’ll always be a part of my audience,” she says wiping my tears away. “I will. This is my final request Historia.”

I hated saying these words, but I had to knowing we’d meet again in the future. “Don’t fall in love with me,” I tell her and she smiles. “How bold of you to assume I haven’t,” she laughs and it in turn brightened up the mood. She then hugs me and I hug back. “Thank you for making me the person I am, Ymir,” she says as I feel her tears on my shirt. “I’ll keep performing if that means you’ll cheer for me, Ymir.”

With that, I said good bye. The very next day—I watched my last show of hers and everyone in the theater cheered for her. I met her when barely anyone remembered her name, and I hate to leave now that everyone knows her name. But I have to, right? I have to leave Historia eventually. It’s her fourth lifetime, the next one will be her last—and whether we both like it or not, we’ll be letting go of each other. But for now, Historia Reiss was no longer the theater actress who supposedly attempted suicide, she was now the theater actress who shined the brightest even amongst the stars in the night sky.

Her eyes are mesmerizing. Whether they’re crying from pain or crying tears of joy now that she’s achieved her greatest dreams. Historia Reiss’ eyes are mesmerizing.

I’ll keep cheering for you as long as you keep performing, Historia Reiss.

I leave the theater, knowing the moment I meet her eyes will cause me pain. As I reach the exit, I push myself into a narrow alleyway, I quickly look at the ticket from her final show and stuff it into the bag along with the scarf, and painting. I look for the fifth watch, it had the numbers 839 written on them. I was finally going to be able to meet the Historia Reiss I’ve been yearning for so long. The Historia Reiss on the painting.

As I click the button, I had no memories from that year. It was my first time heading there, and all I could see was her eyes painted in watercolor and acrylic paint on the canvas. I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know anything, so I just had to make this work. “Take me to her. Take me to Historia Reiss. Take me to the one that makes my heart beat,” I whisper and I am immediately transported into a courtyard.

“You’re here for Queen Historia, right?,” asks a black haired girl. “Yes, I am Lady Ymir, sent from the nation of Hizuru,” I tell her and she then escorts me into the castle. She then shows me into a room decorated with things only the elite could have. The finest china tea set sat in the middle of the room on top of a fine mahogany table carved with the royal family’s crest and seal. “Levi, call in her majesty,” she says and a small male goes into another room.

Historia then walks out in a blue silk dress with a cream cardigan covering her arms. “Lady Ymir, I’ve been waiting for you,” she says and I courtesy in front of her. “Mikasa, Levi—you can leave now. Take a break,” she says and the two of them head out the door and she invites me to sit with her at the mahogany table. “So, Ymir, you’re here because you’ve been assigned to escort me until my coronation two months from now.”

I nod my head yes, simply going along with the story. “I don’t even want to call you my escort in all honesty Ymir, I’d rather see you as my friend,” she says pouting and stirring her tea. “Anyways, part of your duties will be discussed by Levi and Mikasa Ackerman, and apart from those duties, Jean Kirstein will be joining us from time to time. I don’t really get why I need to be with Jean,” she rants to me. She may have a crown on her head but she was still the same girl with an injured arm from the war, she was still the same girl who handed out apples we stole on a train, she was still the same girl who hated the cockpit but loved the view and she was still the same girl who fought till the end.

“I just have a favor to ask of you, Ymir,” she tells me and I draw my attention away from my thoughts. “On the night of my coronation, stay by my side. That’ll be your final night here so please stay with me,” she asks me and I agree. “Yes, on one condition. Don’t fall in love with me,” I told her for the first time at beginning. There wasn’t a next lifetime—so I had to say it now. “I love your confidence, Ymir.”

“Historia, oh I mean Queen Historia—,” I say getting cut off by her squeal. “Call me Historia. Please! You’re the first person who’s addressed me by my name alone. Thank you,” she says excitedly but then composes her emotions into a single smile. “If that’s what you want, Historia. I’ll call you by your name as long as you want me to,” I smile at her and she rises from her seat to hug me. “Thank you, Ymir.”

As the month went on, I would be by her side. She would tell me stories about the things that went on inside the castle. “When I was five or six I don’t know, Jean and I first became friends. He’s from another kingdom here in Paradis, Jean’s a nice guy. But we both kind of dislike each other. There’s another guy, Eren. He’s from one of the wealthiest families in Eldia and I think he’s nice. But he slipped in front of me once,” she told me as we walked through their garden of roses. Her stories were eccentric, but she finally had someone to tell these to.

“The first time Mikasa came here, she was shocked because she and Levi were actually related. Levi actually got so mad at Mikasa and me once because we brought in a stray cat covered in mud,” she would laugh. “He scolded you didn’t he?,” I laugh along with her and she shows me where they found the cat. “Ymir, I know you’re only here because they asked you to. And I’m supposed to send you back prim and proper whatever that means but I really appreciate your company,” she says shyly.

“It’s an honor to be by your side, Historia. You’ll be a great queen,” I tell her and she smiles at me. “I don’t usually show people this part of the castle. Even Mikasa hasn’t been in here herself. Follow me,” she tells me and with one hand, she raises up her skirt and takes my hand with the other. It felt nostalgic running through the perfectly landscaped garden while she takes lead knowing that in another life of hers, we ran through the narrow streets of Fort Slava.

If only I could capture those moments. If only we had a little more time. If only.

The wind against my face felt the same. The euphoria, the excitement, the happiness and the person who had my heart was still the same. If only I really could let the world rotate a little slower. It was my last three months with this, and perhaps I wanted more time with Historia Reiss.

We finally reached a small room in the west wing of the palace. She then opens up a small hatch and leads me through a ladder that led up to the roof top of the castle. “I often come here when I want to be alone. I come here when I want the world to forget who I am for a moment. I’m just a normal girl right? It’s just lucky I was born into royalty, but when I get too tired of gowns and crowns, I watch the sunset from here,” she says as we sit on the roof.

The sky turned orange and she smiled at me. It felt the same way as when we met the first time on the ship. Her words echoed through my head. “See you under the orange skies when time allows us to, Ymir,” circulated through my head and I felt a tear run down my face. “Hey, why are you tearing up?,” she asks me wiping away a tear. “I just remember watching the sunset with someone, they told me to meet them under orange skies when time allowed us to,” I confess and she smiles. “Maybe time already has allowed it.”

You were right Historia Reiss. Time has allowed me to meet you once more under the same orange skies.

“She also told me that as long as we’re looking at the same sky, we’ll be alright. She promised that my brown eyes would meet her blue once more no matter how injured we were and I promised her that I’d cheer for her till the end,” I said feeling more tears run down my face. “You’ll meet again. In one way or another. You’ll see her blue eyes,” she said cheering me up. This was the last lifetime of hers I’d be able to see.

Time did allow me to meet her under these orange skies. We did meet once more that day in the theater when her mental injuries almost got the best of her. And every time I looked at the night sky, I knew she was fine. In a month, I’d be with her for the last time to cheer on her as she’s coroneted and then head to 865 to visit her portrait and admire her for the last time.

Unknowingly, we both fulfilled the promises we made.

The days passed by, as I got to know more of the first Historia I loved. She prefers comfortable clothes that still exude elegance over gowns and dresses. She doesn’t know how to ride a horse on its back all by herself. She’s extremely talented however when it comes to drawing. She hates having to roam the streets in a frilly gown to check on the people every week because she doesn’t like how the extra cloth on the gown makes it harder to move and hotter. After that, she’d usually stay in the pool and occasionally ask me to join her.

The second month had went by quickly. On Sundays, we would visit every church to ensure they were doing well and occasionally a priest would ask us to donate a fortune, which Historia would often give in at least a few hundred dollars to the church. On Mondays, we would sit for tea with Jean and his parents, to discuss things for both kingdoms. On Tuesdays, it was rather quiet as the only eventful things would be playing croquet in the backyard.

On Wednesdays, we would go out into town to meet the townsfolk and ensure order. Occasionally, we’d go with Jean or Eren. On Thursdays, the Yeagers would come over to the palace and I would let Historia talk to Eren in privacy which left me to tend help Mikasa with work. On Fridays, it’d get exciting as Historia would go to balls and I’d be by her side with either Eren or Jean to ensure her safety. On Saturdays, we would spend the whole day together as it was time for her to rest. “I don’t know if I hadn’t made it obvious enough, but my favorite day is Saturday,” she told me as we ate ice cream.

We were sitting by the window sills of her room, we were eating ice cream. Her coronation was two days away, and that meant I’d have to leave soon. There were things I still wanted to do with her. I wanted to take her out on dates, I wanted to tell her things I couldn’t tell anyone back at home. But I didn’t have time to. It was normal at this point for fate to never be on our side. And it never will be.

Time may have allowed us to see each other under orange skies once more, but will fate allow us to stay that way? No.

The day finally came for her coronation ball. She was in a light pink ball gown with gray accents. Her hair was tied into neat waterfall braid with flowers tucked into strands of her hair. A light pink gem rests in the middle of her golden tiara resting on her head. “Is it nice?,” she asks me as she turns around in her dress. “It is, Historia. You look absolutely stunning. Shall we?,” I tell her as I take out my hand for her to hold.

She giggles. “You look rather knight-like,” she says commenting on my ensemble of a blue jumpsuit with gray accents on the top. “I don’t make the rules, Historia,” I winked at her and she laughs. Levi then guides us into the ballroom, and everyone looks in awe at us. “All eyes are on you, Historia,” I tell her and she tries not to feel nervous. “Ymir, don’t stand too close Eren and Jean might get all defensive around you,” she whispers to me as we walk down the stairs. “Let them be defensive.”

With that, she smiles at me and goes back to being her lively self. We reach the end of the ballroom, where she’ll be coroneted and I hand her over. I stand by her side as she’s pronounced the queen of Eldia. She was rather uncomfortable, but she still remained composed nonetheless. Her first dance as queen is then about to happen, and the anticipation whether it’d be Eren Yeager or Jean Kirstein she’d dance with first was broken by her words. “Ymir. I want Lady Ymir to be my first dance,” she smiles and everyone looks at me in awe.

She chose me, for once.

I then approach her and I place my hand on her waist. She smiles at me and places her hand on my shoulder and holds my other hand tightly. We waltz across the ballroom. It was my first time doing so, and I wouldn’t do it any other way. I spun her around and dipped her. She smiles as we continue to dance as if there wasn’t anyone in the room. We both felt like we were in our own world as the music played just for us.

Yet, as much as we hate the music must stop playing. She danced with Eren next, and then Jean. She danced and talked to more people as the night progressed. I couldn’t get near to her as much as I wanted to. The night turned into the feeling of loneliness as I was stuck watching her mingling with different guests and I was stuck with the Ackermans just standing around in the corners. Eren suddenly approaches me out of nowhere as it neared midnight.

“Historia told me this. Everyone thinks she’s gone to powder her nose or something, but she said go get a sweater and head to your special spot at three quarters past twelve.”

She told me to stay by her side, but I can’t. So I did as she ordered and I grabbed a yellow sweater and ran up to the west wing of the palace and climbed up the ladder onto the emerald green roof of the palace. She was there. Her braid was completely taken out, and she had worn nothing but a simple lose gray long sleeved shirt and a pink skirt. “Ymir!,” she excitedly says as she smiles at me. The moon reflected on her blue eyes and it was majestic.

It wasn’t full. It was a crescent. But it made it even more beautiful for I loved Historia Reiss like the moon. We appreciate its beauty even when it’s not full and even if its location is far from where we stand. I started this trip knowing I would meet her in circumstances unknown, but I got to appreciate the moon even with her dark side. “tsuki ga kirei desu ne,” she whispers as she points at the moon. “That means the moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”

She smiles at me. I wanted to cry. I haven’t told her that at one in the morning Levi was taking me to the docks to head back to Hizuru. “It is. Hey, you’re leaving in less than an hour right? Mikasa told me,” she says as she looks at me, holding back tears. “Historia, don’t cry,” I tell her wiping way the tears she couldn’t contain no longer. “How can I not cry when I know the person I’ve appreciated the most is leaving?”

That’s when I started to cry. I didn’t want to leave at all.

This was our last night together. For the past eleven months, I fought against and with her. For the past eleven months, I traveled and helped give her life meaning. For the last eleven months, I let her remember why she’d always want to fly and made her a different kind of happy. For the last eleven months, I saved her and made her realize her true worth. For the past eleven months, I found happiness in her presence, and she found happiness in mine.

I didn’t want to let go of Historia Reiss.

She leaned on my shoulder and started to cry. “You know Ymir, you’re the only person that’s really ever called me Historia. No one called me by my name only. It made me feel more human. Everyone trembles in fear when they hear you call me my name solely, but I love it. It makes me feel that I still am human. It makes me forget this bittersweet life I lead,” she says wiping my tears away. We had 10 minutes left before the clock struck one in the morning.

“Levi’s going to start to look for us. So this is it, I guess. This is the last time I’ll ever see you unless our paths cross once more along the way. I’ll see you under the same moon and under the same skies,” she says wiping her tears away. I feel mine flood my face. If only I could stay longer. I still had another month, didn’t I? Why couldn’t I spend it with her?

She embraces me and I feel her tears dampen my sweater. “Thank you for making me feel like a normal person for once in my life. Thank you for calling out my name,” she says in between sobs. “Thank you because for once in my life, I met you. Ymir.”

And with that she smiles at me and walks away. She heads down the ladder and I hear her head back to her room the get changed back into her evening gown. I sat there in our spot, sobbing. I was never going to see her again. At least, I got the opportunity of being with her up here for one last time. The crescent moon would forever be cursed with the memory of the night I had to leave her, for good.

I head downstairs to see Levi looking for me. “Historia refuses to see you off, I guess she wants to minimize the pain. Shall we?,” he asks showing me into the carriage. I look back at the castle with all its lights open, the party still ongoing as if there wasn’t anything happening between us, and the moon still looked beautiful. But it would look better with her here beside me. My eyes turn to our spot, and whether it was a trick of my eyes or it was true, I saw Historia there all alone.

I don’t want to leave at all but, I have to.

Her eyes are mesmerizing. Whether they’re shining along with the ballroom chandeliers, or whether they’re shining by the stars and the moon above us. Historia Reiss’s eyes are mesmerizing.
Thank you for making me feel euphoric for once in my life. Thank you for calling out my name. Thank you because for once in my life, I met you. Historia Reiss.

As we reach Hizuru in the morning, I quickly look for the watch that read 865. I click it without hesitation, and the only things that were in the tunnel were from the nights I left. The night on the hill, the night on the boat, the night at the airport, her greatest show, and the night that happened a few minutes before. I still had the locket, the painting, the scarf, and the ticket as a token that I spent all her lifetimes with her even if it was just for a few moments.

As I land in 865, I quickly look for the art gallery I first saw her. I ran and then when I found her, it looked different. She was wearing the exact same outfit from the night I left her. Light pink ball gown with gray accents and flowers in her hair. I walk into the gallery, to look at her portrait from up close. Her eyes are mesmerizing.

“That kids is Queen Historia Reiss. She was the queen of the nation of Eldia from the years 839 through 855. She was only 20 when she was coroneted and she stepped down from the throne due to her ill state getting worse,” a tour guide showing kids around said. “According to one of her closest servants, her gown in the picture was the one she wore during her coronation and is her favorite gown as her memoir says, ‘it has memories only, I, the moon and her will remember’. Isn’t it lovely,” she adds.

It really is lovely.

“Ma’am, may I ask a question?,” asks a small child who looked exactly like her. Except for the fact her eyes weren’t blue. “I read about how Queen Historia wrote a letter to someone and that was the last thing she did before she passed,” says the child and my attention is fully drawn to them. “It is believed so, but there is no evidence of it whatsoever as even her servants are unaware about its legitimacy,” she says and they proceed to the next painting a few meters away.

A letter then falls out from the back of the painting. As if it had intended to fall the moment I began to walk away from it. Her elegant cursive writing was printed onto the yellowing envelope with black ink that read, ‘To the first person who made me feel normal for once in my life, Ymir’. I quickly pick it up, as it was addressed to me and I run out of the art gallery. She had remembered me all these years. If this was the letter, could it really be that Historia Reiss remembered me?

As I reach a café in the city, I sit down. It felt reminiscent of the time we both talked at a café after her show. It felt the same, only she wasn’t sitting in front of me. Looking back, I was probably even in the same café we used to be in.86 years ago as I watch her cried her heart break away. I open the envelope and take out the yellow paper with her perfect handwriting on.

To the person that I’ve truly be thankful that I’ve met for once in my life.

To Ymir,

How long has it been? 16 years? The last time I saw you was on the rooftop as you were in the carriage.

I wish I had never let you go. I wished I made up an excuse to let you stay a little bit longer. I wanted you to be by my side as queen. Being queen has always been my ambition, but it never felt right because I wanted you to be with me when I reached my dreams.

I hoped that you’d be there to accompany me while we visited the village and while we would head to royal events. There is no other person in the world I’d want to spend this lifetime with but you, Ymir. Over the years, I married Eren but I never took his last name because every time I preferred hearing Queen Historia Reiss, as it in ways reminded me in ways how you called out my name.

How have you been? We went to Hizuru five years after you left and they said you just left the palace one day. Where did you go? Did you find adventure? Love? I hope you led a good life, Ymir. Because with your presence I certainly did even if you were with me just for a few months. Those months were the highlight of my life.

Your presence truly made me feel alive.

Anyways, this will be the last time you’ll hear from me. That is if this letter reaches you. In the event that it does, please know that the words I’ve written here are true. Ymir, thank you for meeting me under the orange skies and the night sky. We may never meet again—I’m on my death bed. I have to make this quick. I broke one promise. You told me that I shouldn’t fall in love with you, right? Well, how unfortunate because I did. I fell in love with every bit of you. I wouldn’t want anyone else but you.

Ymir, please know that the remaining number of heartbeats I have left may be decreasing, but I’d gladly write my heart out to you with the last ones if it meant telling you these.

Do you believe in reincarnation, Ymir? I hope you do. I hope that in another life, in another place, in another way and in another time—we’ll find each other once more. Whatever it costs, I want to be with you. But we can’t in this life. So please find me wherever you go, my starry sky.

Tsuki ga kirei desu ne. The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?

I'll choose you for every lifetime I have, Ymir.

See you when the moon will shine for us,
Historia Reiss.

I quickly put away the letter into the velvet bag and I feel tears fall down from my face. She really did remember me. I didn’t care if she didn’t give into my request—I fell in love with her as well. Whether she was a wounded soldier, a traveler who wanted meaning, a flight attendant that dreamed, an actress who found meaning or a queen that wanted to feel human. I’d choose her every time.

But I couldn’t.

A high-pitched ringing then sounds off in my ear. It was the company’s call. It hasn’t been a year, I had three weeks left. But nonetheless, I press the button on the watch that read 875 and I was back into the tunnel I hated as it only showed her crystal blue eyes.

I arrive, and our boss looks at me worried. “Ymir, we’ve made a great mistake. You know the rule right?,” she said in a nervous voice. The rule she was referring to was the rule that only one traveler could be in the same year at once. Unless it was a partnered or group mission, all excess travelers had to be banished and have their memories taken in order to lessen the damages done to the timelines. “Since one of our managers, Galliard didn’t tell us you were in 865. We don’t know if it was on purpose, but since you weren’t acknowledged—they’re taking you down, Ymir.”

I was getting my memories taken away from me.

I don’t know why, but I accepted my fate right there. I couldn’t blame them, the damage had been done. I could easily tell them about the incident but we’d get into more trouble once they find out I had been traveling across numerous eras of time, for my own personal motive. I no longer hand a choice. “Let them. Let them take my all my memories away and let me live a new life where I’m no longer feel the yearning for the girl I chased. Rather, let me live it with the faint feeling that something is missing.”

She looked at me in shock. “But,” she says questioning my sanity. “During the past eleven months, I found happiness in places where I shouldn’t have had. And having memories of them puts me at risk for actually wanting to come back again and again just for her. You do realize this unnecessarily changes the timeline more and more? But before I forget her, may I come in as a customer?,” I ask them and she then switches to a professional state and tells me to come in front of her desk.

“My request will be a delivery. I’ll be writing a letter. A letter to the Marleyan soldier, her name is Historia Reiss. Please take care of it with the utmost care. Deliver it to the year 644, before the war starts. Don’t let the traveler leave until she reads it,” I tell her and she lists it down. “Your banishment will happen in six days, the letter must be given to us a day before it.”

So I spent the next three days writing the letter with the exact words I wanted her to read. She wouldn’t meet Ymir for another year, but when Historia does—I hope she finds happiness in me. I wanted to tell her the things I was not and would not ever be able to tell her. For this is my last request.

To the only person that made me feel. To the person who has the most mesmerizing eyes I’d recognize anywhere.

To Historia Reiss,

How are you? Are you fine? Don’t worry, you may be in a war right now but I can assure you that you’ll survive and make it through. Have faith in your abilities as a soldier. You may have your life laid down on the line but having done so, you’ll find yourself in comfort.

You may not know me yet, but you will. I won’t tell you who I am or why I’m writing this but I want to tell you that if the time comes that you find solace, warmth, love, and happiness—hold onto that feeling. I want you to live your life filled with happiness. Don’t be afraid to take risks, remember why you fight, and don’t give up. The fact that I’m saying these things probably weirds you out, but if you do end up remembering this message—I hope you know that I mean them.

Historia Reiss, I’ve gone through hell and still am in it, all because I wanted to get to you. I honestly don’t even know what to say to you. But hold onto this, remember the words and once you find yourself in the moonlight with someone who used to be a stranger but you turn to love at that moment, forget their request. Don’t listen to their ‘don’t fall in love with me’ nonsense. Fall in love with them, but don’t hurt yourself in the process.

Instead, don’t forget these words. No matter how many lifetimes have gone by, I hope you remember at least a few words of this letter I have sent you. Do you believe in reincarnation? Because as each lifetime passes by, we’ll surely see each other. We’ll find each other in different lifetimes no matter how subtle the moment your crystal blue eyes meet my mahogany brown eyes.

Be happy, Historia Reiss. We will meet one day on the battlefield, full of injuries. We will meet under the orange skies. We will continue to look at the same sky, and we’ll be fine. We will be together till your final show. We will find solace in each other at least once in our lives. We will. Trust me.

And surely, the moon has shined and will shine for us. It will shine in the aftermath of the chaos. It will shine as we try to find meaning in this life. It will shine through the darkest moments. It will shine with the stars like you. It will shine during the last time we meet.

And when it does, I'll be there by your side. I swear I will be there.

I’ll choose you for every opportunity I have. I'll wait for you no matter how many lifetimes it takes. You don't have to recognize me first because I'm sure we'll find each other again. I'll choose you over and over again.

I tuck the letter into an envelope and write her name on it. The next day, I hand it to the delivery unit and waited for days to pass by. I hated to see our story end like this, but perhaps this was the price to pay for having found love.

One day, they call me in. It was the eve of my banishment. “She’s received the letter. As a final token of appreciation for your service to the company, we’re letting you see into this pensive. It contains the story of you two across all five lifetimes,” our boss says and she leads me into a room with a single table in the middle. She uses the pensive and I watch as our story is told for the final time.

It starts out with her opening her eyes in the cart. “Her eyes. They’re mahogany brown,” she whispers as she begins to open her eyes. It then shows how we slowly fell in love and then it came to the night we spent on the hill. “I was always afraid. Afraid of war, afraid of ghosts, and afraid of falling in love. But perhaps, I’m thankful I was captured because I ended up meeting Ymir. And if she truly is the one who gave me the letter, it just proves that this very moment was always meant to happen.”

We then reach the second lifetime. She talked about how she knew that I was her puzzle piece from the start, but she continued on with this adventure nonetheless. She didn’t want to let go either. But in the end, we had to. “She’s the puzzle piece I’ve been looking for. But I know being with her will hurt more the moment I come running back home to my family. I have to end it now. I keep getting this déjà vu feeling that I’ve met her before, but that doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters now is that we’re sure to meet each other under these orange skies once more.”

The third lifetime plays before us and it shows me what happened after she handed me her scarf. “It’s cliché or flight attendants to fall in love with their captains, right? But who can stop me from falling when I remember why I want to fly because of her. In the end, I and Captain Ymir will be staring at the same sky, the same moon, the same sun, and the same stars. As long as I’ll be able to find her, as long as I’ll be able to remember her words—I trust that we’ll be together.”

“My eyes followed Ymir as she walked out of the theater. She was smiling. She was proud of me. But I was prouder of her because she gave me this moment to shine. She’s never told me these words directly but I feel like she has—one way or another. She told me the moon will shine along with the stars like me, and it did for the last time with her last night. Ymir is my biggest fan, and I’ll always let the show go on as long as the moon shines for us two.”

“Falling in love is scary. It’s supposed to be all fluff and butterflies in your stomach, right? But that isn’t really love when all you feel is happiness. You really know it's love the moment you feel fear. When you fear the feeling of them slipping away. When you fear the day they leave, and when you fear loving itself because the moment you do, it’s real. Ymir’s leaving tonight and for at least once in my life, I’m glad I felt love in her. I’ve found solace in her over and over again. For once in my life, I’m glad my blue eyes met her brown eyes.”

I felt tears run down my face as I watched the visions. She really did love me, but we can’t be together no matter how many lifetimes there are. Perhaps, if the story were different we’d meet and be able to start over again. But for now, it’s too late. She had gone through all five, and I was to have all my memories taken away. The brown couldn’t possibly meet the blue once more.

The day I’ve been waiting for came. I wasn’t enthusiastic about it, and I wasn’t afraid either. All I knew was I was happy because for once in my life, I met Historia Reiss and was able to choose her for all of her lifetimes. I’d pay any price to be with her again, but I couldn’t. As long as I made her happy for all five of her lifetimes, I was glad to be with her. It was indeed a miracle that we ended up spending nearly a year together.

Even if I forget her, at least she will linger on within me as a thought I can never complete.

As the ceremony proceeded, my life didn’t flash before me, it was the moments I spent with her rather. Bandages I wrapped around her. Orange skies we watched together. Views from the cockpit we’ve seen together. Shows I cheered for her in. Lifetimes I’ve spent with her. And as I felt my soul and body split apart, a final image and thoughts run through my head. Her crystal blue eyes looked at me through all five lifetimes, and then she smiled through them. Then I felt nothing.

Her eyes were mesmerizing.