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The couple had been distant for a while, a couple of weeks, perhaps. In reality, it was more like months, but neither of them was ready to admit it. The tone of their laughter declined from heartfelt to forced ones, their embraces were more robotic and Lydia couldn’t recall the last time they had made love together – or even gone out to eat on a date. It was like they were two entirely different people.
I wish you were here, Allison. I don’t know what to do. It’s not the same anymore. I mean, it’s Scott McCall. I’m sure you understand, considering… But anyways, I miss you. Life seemed much easier to handle when you were on Earth. However, I hope you’re living it up in heaven, nobody deserves it more. <3
Lydia’s hand froze at the sound of a click and the turn of a knob. Shutting her leather-bound journal and putting it in her usual hiding place, she clicked the tip of her pen and tossed it aside on the nightstand before pushing herself off the bed.
Padding to her flats, she slipped them on and snatched a gray cardigan from their shared closet as she rushed to leave. She heard faint steps.
“Lydia?” A soft voice inquired through the closed door, following a light rap. “Are you in there?”
Sucking in a breath, she pressed her lips together, her eyes widening just slightly. She wasn’t ready. She couldn’t see his face – not yet. Not after what she had realized. Shaking her thoughts out, she clutched her purse to her chest and swung open the door to see the distraught look on the boy’s face.
“I didn’t hear you come in!” She lied feebly.
Scott looked as if he had gotten the wind knocked out of him. It also certainly sounded like it after a long pause and then a sharp exhale.
“I have to go, Derek called and needed my help decoding something. I’ll be home later, babe,” she slid past him and walked as fast as her short legs allowed. “Bye!”
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text [5:05]: Lydia, just please tell me what’s going on.
text [5:45]: I’m trying really hard to be patient here.
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Lydia couldn’t ignore the painful squeeze in her chest. Granted, she had caused it but there was no denying that she felt it as much as Scott did. She couldn’t begin to comprehend how Scott must’ve felt when she rushed out of there – she regretted it immensely, but she wasn’t sure what else to do. She didn’t want to admit to him, or to herself.
Instead of replying back like she normally would if it was a normal conversation, she turned on the ‘silent’ option and slipped her phone in her pocket. She shot a smile at Derek and nodded at his question of if she was all right before going back to squinting his eyes at the Latin message that was left on his door, then scribbled on a piece of paper.
The strawberry blonde relaxed in her seat and flipped through the translation, mumbling words to herself. She felt much more at peace here than she did in her own household.
---
“What is this?” Scott choked out as his eyes tore away from his staring spot on the coffee table and flickered towards the journal that he had accidentally found.
Lydia’s eyebrow creased in curiosity as she looked towards what he was referring to. Her chest, then heaved, slowly and she swallowed the built up saliva that was forming in her mouth.
“Where did you find that? Or more important, why are you going through my stuff?!”
“Lydia, I’m sorry. I was just worried and I was looking for any hint that would let me in since you’re not doing that. Just talk to me. Did I do something wrong to upset you?”
She stared at him, her eyes softening by the minute. Her bottom lip jutted out as she contemplated what to say next. ‘I’m done’? ‘I can’t do this anymore’? What could she ever say to the wolf that would ever justify what she did? Nothing.
“Scott, I-“, she shook her head. “I just, I can’t, okay?”
“You can’t, what, Lydia?” He mumbled with patience, as he stood up to his feet and let his hands fall to his side, helplessly. “Babe, just talk. You owe me that much.”
She raised her head and inhaled through her nostrils. “I don’t love you anymore, Scott.” She explained simply, her voice quivering. She was not prepared for the emotions, a mix of them, which his face had distorted into. Anger. Pain. The feeling of betrayal.
“It’s someone else, isn-“
“No, Scott. It’s me,” she exhaled. She was never one for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ talk nor did she ever think she’d be the one to say it. But here she was. Getting herself into a position she had never predicted – especially with a boy like Scott McCall.
Scott McCall was a one of a kind. Not because of his unique species, but his personality. He had the biggest heart, he was the most understanding person she’d met and he had put all his love and trust in most people. So when she said this, it broke her own heart just as much as it did his.
“I just can’t. You have so much going for yourself and I can’t stand in your way.”
She watched his face fall into a cloud of confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes darting all over the place, scoffing – but in the most gentle way, because that was who he was.
“Lydia, what are you talking about? I never said that, nor did I ever imply it...”
She shook her head and her lips trembled. Sniffling, her lips turned into a tiny smile as she stepped closer, kissing the corner of his lips.
“I’m sorry, Scott. You deserve the world. And I can’t give you that.”