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Byleth sat in the bedroom of the Archbishop, pouring over documents. Food rations, man power, building repairs, and various other reports that required his attention. He could not be more ready to meet with Rodrigue in the Valley of Torment if it meant ending the constant reports about how low their supply had gotten. He set down some documents and dragged his hands down his face. He could feel the threads of exhaustion working deep in his system. He had no idea how much time had passed since he initially sat down to work, but peering up from the documents he saw that the sun barely hung in the sky. He’d have to light his candles if he wished to continue. Now thinking about it, when was the last time he had gotten enough rest?
Byleth pushed himself up from his chair and retrieved a small piece of shredded cloth that had once been the curtains. Using a small fire spell, he ignited the cloth and used it to light a candle. He waved it out and used the candle to light the other ones scattered around the room. Now having enough light, he returned to his desk. Just as he was about to take a seat and continue working on strategies for the next battle, he heard a knock on his door.
“Come in.” He called and turned to see who it was. A familiar head of red hair entered. In his hands was a plate of food and a glass of water. “Sylvain, I didn’t expect you to be here.” Byleth faced the taller man, intrigued by what possibly could have brought him here.
“I had to. You didn’t come down for dinner. Again.” Sylvain stated, putting emphasis on “again.” Byleth looked back to his work, feeling like a child being scolded. Truthfully, he did feel guilty about missing out on dinner since his class often gathered together to talk about their lives in the past five years. He just felt bad about the amount of lost time between him and his old students.
“I don’t mean to avoid dinner. I just have so much to oversee. Rations, battles, Dimitri.” Byleth let out a tired sigh. “It’s just so much.” Sylvain frowned as he listened and set the plate and glass on the table besides Byleth’s bed. He then faced Byleth.
“You do know you have people around you that are willing to shoulder some of that burden, right? Hell, it’s in Seteth’s job description last time I checked. Something about helping out the Archbishop?” Sylvain crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow, laying into Byleth with the attitude. Byleth felt his own frown begin to form in response. He thought Sylvain would have grown out of the teenage attitude but he was mistaken.
“I know, it’s just-” Sylvain clenched his jaw as he stormed over to Byleth, closing a lot of distance between them, causing Byleth to cut off his sentence.
“It’s just what, Byleth?” Sylvain demanded to know. Byleth felt a shiver run down his spine as he heard Sylvain refer to him by his name. It wasn’t anything new. Sylvain had stopped referring to him as professor after their heart to heart in the old classroom. It was still strange to hear Sylvain call him by his name, especially when they were alone like this.
“It’s just… just…” With every word, Sylvain stepped closer and Byleth stepped back, until Byleth felt the desk press into his legs. He moved his hands back, pressing his palms flat on the desk to support himself as Sylvain towered over him.
“Don’t you trust us?” Sylvain asked, letting his hands slip besides Byleth. His fingertips lightly grazed the wood as he stared down the smaller man. Byleth gulped and nodded, feeling his pulse pound in his ears. “Then why do you avoid asking us for help?” Sylvain further persisted.
“I blame myself for what happened… To all of you…” Byleth’s voice was barely louder than a whisper. Sylvain withdrew himself from Byleth, obviously stunned by the confession.
“What?” Sylvain searched Byleth’s eyes for any sign that he was joking. He shook his head and stepped back even more, dragging a long sigh from his mouth. He ran a hand through his messy red locks, gripping and lightly pulling on the strands with slight annoyance.
“By, we don’t blame you for any of this. If anything, we blame the Imperial Army and Edelgard. You didn’t have a hand in anything they did…” Sylvain looked back to Byleth, his frustration was replaced with something else. Something more upsetting. “If anything… We blame ourselves for not being able to protect you.” He admitted.
“What?” Byleth stepped closer to Sylvain. “Sylvain, there was nothing any of you could have done-”
“There should have been! We should have been there to protect you! After all, you were always there to protect us and we couldn’t even do the same for you! You died, Byleth! You died and there was nothing we could do but watch!” All of Sylvain’s regrets came to the surface with every word. When he watched Byleth fall off the cliff edge, he had felt a part of himself go with him. He knew he wasn’t the only one that felt that way. His fellow peers all mourned heavily for their supposedly dead professor. He even figured that Byleth would haunt Dimitri’s dreams much like Glenn and King Lambert did. Sylvain was sure Byleth would even haunt his own dreams. He did some nights, when Sylvain missed him more than usual. He’d see the man’s broken body at the bottom of the ravine or he’d see the scene over again, Byleth screaming out Sylvain’s name, but Sylvain never could save him.
Byleth raised his gloved hands to Sylvain’s face, trying to break Sylvain of his dark thoughts. Sylvain startled and let out a soft “tsk” as he felt the fabric against his face. He pulled his head back and grabbed Byleth’s hands, quickly removing the black gloves and tossing them aside. He then guided the smaller man’s hands back to his face and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth from those delicate fingers.
“Sylvain, I could never blame any of you for what happened to me. It was my choice to go out there to protect Rhea…” Byleth’s words were soft and gentle, causing Sylvain to shiver in response. He had never heard his Byleth speak so gently before. He opened his brown eyes and stared down at Byleth. Being this close, he was reminded of how beautiful Byleth was. He had soft black lashes surrounding his bright green eyes. His mint colored hair lightly rested against his skin and shifted slightly in the wind. He could barely recall what Byleth’s original hair and eye color were. All he knew was that he missed it but… He didn’t mind how Byleth looked in the slightest.
“I know… I know you don’t blame us… But that doesn’t stop us from blaming ourselves.” Sylvain covered Byleth’s hands with his own and wrapped his fingers around them, lightly squeezing them before pulling them off of his face. “So please… Let us make it up to you. We can shoulder your burden with you.” Sylvain pleaded. Byleth’s eyes lowered, he could faintly see himself reflected in Sylvain’s armor. It was much bigger than five years ago. When did Sylvain’s shoulders get broader? When did he get strong enough to carry this armor and this guilt?
“I will. Tomorrow… I will ask for your assistance… I’ll ask for everyone’s assistance.” Byleth promised.
“Look me in the eyes and say that.” Sylvain ordered, his eyes narrowing slightly. He wanted to take Byleth’s word for it, but the feeling in his gut demanded more. Byleth raised his head and hesitated for a moment under the intensity of Sylvain’s brown eyes.
“I will ask for assistance from you and everyone else.” Byleth swore once again. Sylvain felt himself relax and stepped back before giving his usual boyish grin.
“Good. Now that that’s settled, we should get some food in you.” He took Byleth’s hand and pulled him towards the food on the side table.
“Are you going to leave?” Byleth asked, a hint of disappointment in his voice. Sylvain released Byleth’s hand and turned to face the smaller man.
“I planned on it. It’s late and all and you could use a good meal and some rest.” Sylvain shrugged and looked to the door. He felt a hand slip into his and looked down, seeing Byleth’s delicate hand tucked in his own. He felt his cheeks heat up and looked to Byleth. Sylvain’s eyes widened as he saw a light shade of pink coloring Byleth’s cheeks.
“I… Don’t want you to go.” Byleth admitted, but Sylvain had to strain to hear the words. Byleth really wanted him to stay? Sylvain felt his resolve abandon him, he had never seen that look in Byleth’s eyes before. That coupled with the tone he used was all too much for Sylvain and before he realized it, he had Byleth pinned on the bed.
“Say that again.” Sylvain ordered Byleth. Byleth blinked a few times, feeling a burst of heat in his chest as he processed the position he was now in. It took him a moment to find his own voice.
“Please… Stay with me, Sylvain…” Byleth whispered.
“Louder.” Sylvain pleaded, his voice equally as loud as Byleth’s. Byleth felt a bit of impatience strike him but complied.
“Stay with me, Sylvain. Whether it be for an hour or the night… I don’t want you to leave.” Sylvain swallowed and nodded. He released one of Byleth’s wrists and moved his hand to Byleth’s face, lightly stroking his face with his thumb. His fingers tangled into Byleth’s hair as he gently lifted Byleth’s head and lowered his own.
The kiss was soft and gentle, yet electrifying in all the good ways. Byleth was surprised with how gentle Sylvain was with him. He assumed the playboy would be more impatient and rough but was quickly proven wrong. Byleth’s eyes fluttered shut as he gave himself to Sylvain. He thought he’d be more nervous and scared, but with every touch, every word of reassurance from the red head, Byleth felt more and more safe.
Byleth was able to remove Sylvain’s clothes easier than Sylvain was able to remove Byleth’s. Sylvain mentioned his fumbling fingers were due to being nervous and Byleth accepted the excuse and helped the man. Once the fabric no longer separated their bodies, Sylvain took his time with Byleth, being gentle and slow with his movements. What Byleth loved more than anything, however, was the way Sylvain’s lips felt on his body. The red head just couldn’t seem to keep his mouth off of Byleth. The two gave in to their bare necessities, listening to the wants and needs of the other until they were both fully satisfied.
“Looks like your food has probably gone cold.” Sylvain pointed out as he played with a lock of Byleth’s hair. Byleth gave a soft shrug but didn’t vocalize any complaints over the forgotten dinner. He was more than happy to remain on top of Sylvain with his ear pressed against the man’s bare chest. He could hear the fast pounding of Sylvain’s heart and felt a feeling of melancholy rush over him. He was more than overjoyed to have this new relationship with Sylvain, but wished he could show Sylvain how he felt.
“What’s with that look?” Sylvain suddenly questioned, disturbing Byleth’s thoughts. Byleth lifted his head and looked up at the red head. He felt a piece of him melt as he saw the familiar playful grin and warm eyes. Byleth pushed himself up and shivered as the cold air embraced his naked skin as he straddled Sylvain’s lap.
“Sylvain.” Byleth called, making the man focus on his face and not the exposed skin.
“Sorry, I can’t help myself. You’re quite beautiful you know, and even more so without the armor.” Sylvain joked. Byleth rolled his eyes and reached beside his head and pulled a pillow over to cover himself. Sylvain pouted in response but looked up at Byleth’s face as he had been told. Byleth relaxed his expression and looked off at the wall.
“Are you sure I'm what you want?” Byleth suddenly asked, stunning Sylvain.
“Excuse me?” Sylvain seemed genuinely confused. After what the two had just done, he was sure Byleth would know he was all Sylvain wanted.
“I don’t show a lot of emotion… I… I can’t give you the emotional connection you want…” Byleth stated. He felt a pang of sadness in his heart and allowed a sigh to exit him because of it.
“Look at me, Byleth.” Sylvain said sternly. Byleth glanced over and found Sylvain’s jovial expression replaced with a serious one.
“What?” Byleth asked, a little nervous now.
“I know you can’t express yourself as well as you want, but you’re better than you think.” Sylvain reassured, propping himself up on his elbows as he spoke. “Ever since you’ve returned, I noticed you’re more in touch with your emotions… But even if you weren’t I still wouldn’t care. I want you and that means as you are.”
“Really?” Byleth asked, moving his hands so they rested on Sylvain’s chest.
“Of course. Now come back down here, it’s cold without you.” Byleth felt a small smile tug on the corners of his mouth as he fulfilled Sylvain’s request. He felt the redhead pull a blanket over their bodies and let sleep consume him. Sylvain watched Byleth drift off and smiled.
“Sleep tight, Byleth.”