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“Fuck,” Yeonjun said, spinning around and shoving Beomgyu back several paces. “Fuck, nope, I can’t do this, there’s no way he’s ever gonna feel the same way as me,” he rambled, shaking his head as he continued to push Beomgyu until the poor boy hit a wall. The younger groaned, rolling his eyes and hitting the side of Yeonjun’s arms a few times. “Hyung! First off, stop bulldozing me into the wall, second off, stop being such a pussy! We talked about this,” he reminded, quirking an eyebrow.
Yeonjun pouted, dropping his arms and letting his whole body droop as he shook his head again. “It’s no use, ‘Gyu, he’s not gonna want to date me because I’m annoying and too high maintenance, and just look at him,” he whined, lifting his head to gaze at Beomgyu pathetically. The shorter boy rolled his eyes again, before standing Yeonjun up straight and giving his cheeks a few pats. “I have looked at him, hyung, on many occasions at your request, and I see a boy who is just as interested in you as you are in him,” he said, voice going a bit softer as he saw Yeonjun’s discouraged expression. How someone as confident as him could be reduced to such an insecure mess was beyond Beomgyu’s comprehension. “He’s just so much shyer, you know that,”
Yeonjun huffed a little, not really able to deny the truth to the statement. Beomgyu patted Yeonjun’s head, smiling a bit, before grabbing his arm and starting to walk them towards the large rehearsal space. Soobin, as well as Kai and Taehyun, were getting ready for their first music video rehearsal this comeback, and the energies were high and exciting. Yeonjun had chosen this specific moment to ask Soobin out on a date, because it would be easier to get him away from Kai when the maknae had to go over his parts. There was a risk that staff would see them, but it was a risk Yeonjun was willing to take. He had pined over the poor boy for almost a year and a half now, ever since they truly became close after their debut.
He was so enamoured with the boy it was a little embarrassing, and he felt that he was so obvious he didn’t understand how Soobin hadn’t caught on yet. All of the pretend kisses, cheek squishing, chin tickles, hell, Yeonjun would have thought they were dating if he had been an outside observer. But no, Soobin was just really into physical affection, no matter who was giving it to him. Yeonjun liked to think that his cheeks burned a bit darker when under his ministrations, but he couldn’t be sure if that was just his own mind making things up.
Beomgyu squeezed his shoulder, before gesturing over a few meters, where Yeonjun saw Soobin standing with the stylist noonas, being measured. The boy caught his gaze, and gave him the sweetest smile Yeonjun just might as well give up and die. There was no way someone as gentle and kind and pure as Choi Soobin would ever go out with Choi Yeonjun. “I think Hyuka is gonna get measured next, so that’s your chance,” Beomgyu said, before he gave Yeonjun an encouraging smile, and bounded off to go tackle Taehyun in a surprise hug. Yeonjun exhaled, standing there for a second, before going up to join his members. He saw Soobin smile as he approached, and the older couldn’t help but return it. “How much have you grown since the last music video?” he asked, reaching out and tickling under Soobin’s chin. The giggle he got in response could cure cancer. God, he was whipped.
Soobin shrugged, eyes narrowed to slits from smiling so hard from the tickle. “Maybe a few centimetres,” he said quietly. Yeonjun tsked his tongue, before ruffling Soobin’s hair, as if he couldn’t keep his hands off of the boy. “Definitely gonna be taller than me,” he stated. Soobin giggled, covering his smile like he always did. “Already taller than you, hyung,” he replied. Yeonjun gasped, smacking his arm, before sending him a wink and walking off to say hello to the others. And to slow his racing heart. A wink, seriously? What were they, teenagers? Okay, that was beside the point anyway.
Yeonjun didn’t get a chance to ask Soobin out that day. Turns out as soon as his fitting was complete, he had to do other things for the music video, and soon the others were all sent off to their various tasks as well. Yeonjun hardly even saw the boy, on the verge of falling asleep when he stumbled into the dorms that night. He gave Yeonjun a weak wave, before also falling into bed and almost immediately going to sleep. Fuck comeback season, ruining all of Yeonjun’s chances to stop being single.
He didn’t get another opportunity the entire week, which was both fine with him and also torture. Because now that he had finally decided to pop the question, it was all he could think about. But each day missed gave him more time to gather his thoughts and really think about how he wanted to ask Soobin. The boy deserved fucking fireworks, but BigHit would vehemently shoot that idea down were they ever to find out, so Yeonjun was going to have to settle for something ultimately lackluster. But he knew that Soobin wouldn’t mind, he wasn’t someone who liked a lot of glitz and glamour. Sweet and simple was the way to go.
Of course, Yeonjun was still convinced he was going to get rejected. At least then, he could stop the fantasies, and maybe try and get over his feelings. He didn’t want them to eventually ruin their friendship, but he couldn’t just sit around and keep wondering what it’d be like to actually kiss the boy, or hug him for longer than what would be considered friendly. He wondered how it would feel to have the younger beneath him, to feel his soft bare skin against his hands, to reduce him to soft gasps and gentle caresses—enough.
Yeonjun shook his head, groaning as he shoved his hair out of his eyes. He angrily opened a water bottle as he walked into the dressing room to get into his outfit for the music video shoot. He finished the water in record time, tossing the bottle into the recycling bin. He fell into his seat, and closed his eyes, not opening them until it was time for him to get dressed. When he was completely ready, he looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn’t deny that he looked hot. The theme for the music video was much darker, sexier, and Yeonjun loved it. It was more his persona, the cutesy-bubblegum-idol thing not really for him, and he couldn’t help but smile at his reflection. His hair was styled back and off of his forehead, his features sharp and highlighted with shadows, two different coloured contacts in his eyes, making him look extremely cat-like. The stylists had attached a fake lip ring to his bottom lip which connected via a chain to his earrings.
He had a tunic-like leather black top on, with short sleeves and a belt that cinched at the waist. Black skinny jeans and chunky black boots completed the look, and Yeonjun could see his others hanging on the rack behind him. One was a vibrant cheetah-print flannel, one looked like an actual trashbag so that would be interesting, and the last one was quite literally a skin-tight leather top. If these were his outfits, he wasn’t going to survive when he saw his leader.
He swallowed at the thought, before adjusting his rings and following his noonas out to set. Kai, Taehyun, and Beomgyu were already there, faces being touched up by the stylists. Kai waved at Yeonjun as he approached and got into place with them. His stylist immediately began poking and prodding the face she had just spent an hour working on. He would never understand fashion. The others looked pretty tame, dressed in complimentary shades of black and grey, Beomgyu with a blazer with grey and black cheetah print. Yeonjun thought it a bit ironic that the animal print they were wearing didn’t match the actual appearance of a puma, but he supposed nobody would understand it if they just wore all black.
“Are you excited, hyung?” Kai asked, pulling his attention. He laughed, before nodding, reaching over to give him a playful shove. “As long as you and Soobin-ah don’t drop me, I’ll be more excited,” he teased. Kai laughed loudly, shaking his head a bit. “Oh! Soobin-hyung, you look great,” Taehyun interrupted. Yeonjun glanced at the red-haired first, noticing how wide his already big eyes had gotten, but his head swivelled to see where he was looking. Almost like a magnet, his eyes instantly found Soobin walking towards them, despite the numerous amount of people milling in the space between them.
And he felt his mouth literally water, throat constricting. He was sure he looked like he wanted to devour Soobin, because that’s exactly what he wanted to do. He felt his own lips part as he made to say something, but no words came out as Soobin got closer. Because Soobin, fucking Choi Soobin who was supposed to be a cute-and-bubblegum idol was wearing a fucking skirt. Okay, so it wasn’t a full skirt, it was some half-skirt contraption that connected to Soobin around his waist (emphasising just how small it was) and hung down over his left leg to mid-thigh. The rest of the outfit wasn’t anything special, but it fit Soobin’s body so well, Yeonjun literally couldn’t help but rake his eyes over it all.
And when the two made eye contact, and Yeonjun saw how the stylists had done Soobin’s make up so that he looked absolutely striking and the hottest Yeonjun’s ever seen him, Yeonjun swore his soul left his body right at that moment. Soobin’s adam’s apple bobbed once, and Yeonjun caught the moment, eyes widening a bit as he saw how Soobin had blushed under his gaze. “Yeah, I didn’t realise I was going to be in a skirt,” he said quietly, wringing his hands together as he stopped in front of everyone. His stylist walked up, and he obediently lifted his head (which gave Yeonjun a great view of his neck), but he avoided looking at anyone. Yeonjun wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure he remembered how to speak. Beomgyu scoffed a little at his obvious expression, before he nudged Soobin’s boot with his own. “You look awesome, hyung, I never knew you’d look so good in a skirt,” he complimented.
Soobin giggled a little, and Yeonjun saw his shoulders relax a bit. He realised then that it must have been nerve-wracking for him to walk out wearing what he was, especially with how Koreans tended to treat gender roles and fashion. Knowing that his leader was self-conscious jumpstarted his brain-to-mouth functions, and he finally went to speak, before Kai cut him off, literally screaming in his ear. “If anyone could pull of a skirt, it’d be you, hyung!” And while Yeonjun fully agreed with what he said, he was just a little annoyed at being interrupted. “Yah, Hyuka, seriously? You’re gonna burst my eardrums one of these days!” he scolded, hitting the boy. Kai stuttered an apology, but Soobin’s giggle drowned him out.
Yeonjun looked back over at him, before offering him what he hoped was a gentle smile. His heart was still racing, and his mind had come up with seventeen different ways to get the boy alone, but he did his best to reel it in. “You do look really good, Soobinie,” he said, walking up and touching the frilly fabric of the skirt. He looked at Soobin and saw his blush, the boy breaking eye contact and shaking his head a bit as he looked over Yeonjun’s head. “Says you, hyung,” he replied. Yeonjun felt his own cheeks up, not expecting a compliment in return. The boy was normally too flustered to say anything other than ‘thanks’ after Yeonjun complimented him. To return it, was rare, and it always caught Yeonjun off-guard.
He shook his head, reaching out and settling both of his hands on Soobin’s waist as he pretended to adjust the belt. “It’s all the makeup, trust me,” he replied, in lieu of thanks. Soobin remained quiet, and Yeonjun lifted his eyes to meet his again. Soobin actually looked a bit sad, brow furrowed. “You’re just as pretty without makeup, hyung,” he said. Yeonjun felt his eyes physically pop out of their sockets at the sudden honesty, and his heart fell out of his chest. “What?” he said stupidly, not believing his ears. Soobin’s own turned bright red, and his eyes widened before he quickly turned away. “Uh, nothing,” he stammered, before walking away.
Yeonjun could only stand there for a second before the staff and directors were calling them to place to get ready to start the shoot. He blinked a few times, trying to process Soobin’s words. Had he called him pretty? Sure, he had done that many times before, but always prompted and always on camera, and never followed by that sort of reaction. He walked over to where he was supposed to be, in a bit of a daze, before he shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and focus. Now was the time for work, he could have a crisis over Soobin’s indirect confession after.
After the longest first day of a shoot ever, all five boys were deposited back to the dorms, faces bare and tingling, bodys swimming in less-constricting clothes after the day of skinny jeans and faux leather. Their managers asked them to do a live, and while all of them would have preferred to just go to sleep, takeout had been ordered and was waiting for them upstairs in return. Yawning, Yeonjun climbed the stairs, arm brushing Soobin’s, and while he was so tired he could fall asleep in two seconds, his mind hadn’t stopped running. Soobin’s words echoed over and over, and the two hadn’t had a second alone since he had uttered them. Now they were surrounded by their members, and it was driving Yeonjun crazy. He was going to implode.
Soobin himself actually excused himself when they first walked in, saying he needed to use the restroom. Yeonjun watched him go, before Beomgyu gave him a ridiculously obvious shove, and pointed look. Yeonjun opened his mouth to protest, before deciding against it, pressing his lips together and turning sharply on his heel. He swore he hard Kai say something about “finally”, but he ignored it. He went to the bedrooms, and he heard the sink running in the bathroom. He hesitated, before pulling the beanie down onto his head and taking a deep breath. He braced himself, before the sink turned off, and Soobin was walking out of the bathroom. He stopped when he saw Yeonjun, a dust of red covering his cheeks, and small half-smile on his lips. “Hyung?” he asked, voice hesitant.
Yeonjun stared at the taller, before stepping closer. “Soobin-ah, I have something I need to tell you,” he said, not wanting to beat around the bush. He saw Soobin swallow, and wondered how he was feeling. If this went well, he’d have to ask him sometime in the future. He bit his lip, before taking another step closer. “I, uh,” he began, before clearing his throat. Soobin looked at him, eyes bright and curious, and God, he was so adorable. “I have a crush on you,” Yeonjun said. And the words must have weighed a million tons because as soon as he let them out, he felt a million tons lighter. He exhaled in exuberant relief, before he instantly clammed up in fear, looking at Soobin again, scared.
Soobin fish-mouthed for a second, entire face burning, and Yeonjun wanted to kiss him so badly but he didn’t know if he could yet. “You have a crush on me?” Soobin asked, sounding in disbelief. Yeonjun stared at him for a second, before nodding, deciding to just lay it all out on the metaphorical table. “Honestly, it’s a lot more than a crush at this point,” he said, looking down for a second. “I’ve kind of been pining over you for like a year and a bit,” When he met Soobin’s gaze again, the poor boy looked like he had had some sort of epiphany. His jaw was dropped, though he quickly closed it, and brought his hands together, wringing them. “I,” he said, clearly nervous. “I’ve liked you since the first day we met,” he whispered.
Yeonjun felt his eyebrows fly off his face at the revelation, and his heart sped up even more somehow. He gulped, taking a careful step even closer. He felt better when Soobin didn’t retreat any. “So…I like you, and you like me,” he said slowly, not quite believing he was saying those words in that order. He was close enough that he heard Soobin’s breath catch in his throat, and when the two made eye contact, Yeonjun for the first time saw the same desire and longing in his eyes reflected back to him through Soobin’s. This couldn’t be real. But it was. Yeonjun hesitated, before lifting a hand to rest on Soobin’s cheek. “Does that mean I can finally kiss you?” he breathed.
He felt Soobin tense up under his touch, before nodding his head just a little. Yeonjun didn’t know what exactly he was doing, he’d never really done this before, but he decided to just go with whatever his brain decided. He swallowed, nodding too, before closing the gap and pressing his lips over Soobin’s. His eyes slid shut, and time stood still for a moment. Soobin’s lips were so soft, and when he kissed back, Yeonjun swore he would never do anything bad ever again. If he could kiss Soobin for the rest of his life in exchange for obeying all of the rules, he would do so in a heartbeat. Because fuck, it was better than he had imagined.
Soobin kissed like he spoke, soft but with meaning, just enough pressure to tease Yeonjun and make him want more. And so he let himself have more. He kissed Soobin again, but tilted his head so he could move his lips this time, and the whimper in got in response lit a fire inside him. He moved his hands to Soobin’s waist, walking them until his back was pressed against the wall. Soobin had started moving his lips too, and the two slid their mouths together, hints of tongue swiping out. Soobin let his hands grip Yeonjun’s hips, and Yeonjun moaned a little at how strong he was, how he was responding to a simple kiss. It made Yeonjun’s mind hazy to think about what else they could do together.
He kept kissing Soobin, running his hands up his sides. “Open your mouth, baby,” he muttered against Soobin’s lips, most of his words getting swallowed up. Soobin whimpered again, before following Yeonjun’s request, parting his lips. Yeonjun didn’t waste any time slipping his tongue into the younger’s mouth. He tasted like cinnamon, and when their tongues met, Yeonjun knew he had found heaven. He was nineteen-years-old but felt like he had waited a thousand years to be able to kiss Soobin, and to finally do it was bliss. Pure and simple. Their tongues danced, and when Soobin gripped Yeonjun’s hips tighter, he had to pull away, before he tried to do something stupid like fuck Soobin against the wall. Though, he didn’t think the boy would be entirely opposed. Regardless, time and place. The others were still waiting for them, as well.
They both caught their breath for a second, before locking gazes again. Soobin looked flustered, hair messy and cheeks rosy, lips so swollen and kiss-bitten it made Yeonjun just want to kiss him all over again. He wasn’t in a much better state, breathing fast and heavy, a bit of saliva drying on his own lips. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he said, voice raspy. Soobin blushed even more somehow, before giggling a bit. “Wish I wasn’t so shy, we could’ve done that a lot sooner,” he replied. Yeonjun hummed, before lifting Soobin’s chin and kissing him again, sweeter and slower this time. Soobin’s hands relaxed around his hips, and when they parted the second time, the younger rested his forehead against Yeonjun’s. They had done this very thing so many times before, but it was different now.
Yeonjun closed his eyes, moving his arms to lock around Soobin’s neck, and the two just breathed each other in for a second, before Soobin lifted his head and stepped back. “So, are we dating now?” he asked shyly. Yeonjun smiled, the most blissful smile, wow, he felt so light. He took Soobin’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “We can talk about everything after the livestream, okay?” he said, starting to walk them out of the bedrooms. Soobin’s eyes widened, his grip tightening on Yeonjun’s hand. “Oh no, the livestream,” he whispered, following Yeonjun out. Yeonjun chuckled. “What about it?” he asked, unable to even watch where he was going, as he preferred to just keep staring at Soobin.
Soobin blushed, before moving closer and dropping his voice a bit. “They’re gonna know you just kissed the life out of me,” he pouted. Yeonjun couldn’t hold back his laugh, covering his mouth as his eyes squinted. Soobin gave him a playful glare, before breaking a smile of his own. “Do you want an apology?” he asked. Soobin only giggled in response, and gripped Yeonjun’s arm, which made Yeonjun swoon, of course.
When they walked into the living room, where the rest of the boys were all looking at them pointedly, knowing expressions on their faces, both Soobin and Yeonjun quieted down. Soobin gulped, looking down as he fiddled with Yeonjun’s fingers. Yeonjun just stared at his dongsaengs, raising a brow. After a moment, Taehyun broke the tension, grabbing a bowl of bibimbap. “Fucking finally,” he said. The air deflated, and Yeonjun laughed, shaking his head as he sat down on the couch. Soobin took the space on the floor in front of him, and when Beomgyu started the livestream, Yeonjun pulled Soobin back to rest against his legs, slinging an arm across his collarbones. Soobin giggled, and Yeonjun smiled softly, never feeling as happy as he did just then.