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Friday Evening
“You know what is the worst pick up line?”
Jim turned his attention away from the band on stage to say, “Huh?” to his best friend.
Bones tipped his beer bottle at Jim. “What’s the worst pick up line?”
“Nice legs. What time do they open?”
Bones burst out laughing. Jim grinned and took a swig of his own drink.
“That’s good by no, that’s not what I was thinking. It’s close though.”
“What is it then?”
“Wanna have sex?”
Jim leaned away from his friend a bit. “Damn, Bones, it’s been two years. If you’d just asked me that at on the shuttle, we could’ve been doing it this whole time.”
“Shut up, brat. I’m saying, ‘wanna have sex’ is the worst pick up line.”
“No,” Jim countered. “it’s the best. Works everywhere. I could go up to someone right now and ask that and get a yes.”
“Of course, you’d get a yes here!” Bones yelled as the band and crowd got louder in the club.
“Then its not the worst!” Jim yelled back.
The roar of the crowd died down as the band took a break and left the stage. Jim turned to Bones. “Pick someone and I’ll ask them the line.”
“Not here. My point is, that it’s the worst because you can’t use it everywhere. Just in bars and clubs. Your first line of nice legs, perhaps could work anywhere. But ‘wanna have sex’? No.”
Jim made a pshh sound. “It could totally work anywhere.”
Bones snorted. “You’re pretty, Jim, but I don’t think you can pick someone up at say…the grocery store with that line. And at the academy? No way. You’d be up on harassment charges.”
Jim shrugged. He winked at a cute girl walking by and then said to Bones, “I think you’re challenging me. Underestimating my sexy charismaticness.”
“How much have you had to drink?”
“I’m not as think as you drunk I am,” Jim said playfully. He’d only had one drink and a half of another. He barely felt them in his system. Kirks were no lightweights. He pushed on his friend’s arm. “Seriously, I accept the challenge.”
“I’m not challenging you to anything. I was just saying…”
“Nope!” Jim interrupted, slamming his hand down onto the bar top. “Ow, that hurt!” Jim picked his hand up and shook it while Bones raised both brows at him. Jim pointed at Bones, poking him in the chest. “Challenge accepted, my dude. Pick a place. Any place, and I bet you…two weeks of home cooked meals, that I can pick someone up with ‘wanna have sex’.”
“Two weeks?” Bones questioned.
“Yes, two weeks. A different meal each night. Homecooked by the loser.”
Bones cocked his head to the side and thought about it. He wasn’t trying to start a challenge with Jim but hell, Jim was a good cook. “I get to pick the place.”
“Yep.”
“Then deal.”
They shared a smile and shook hands.
After paying their bill, Jim followed Bones out of the club and onto the local bus. He briefly thought his friend was going to take them to the grocery store for the challenge but they got off on a stop near campus. Jim followed Bones down a few familiar blocks and around a corner before they came to a stop.
“Really?”
“You said it yourself a month ago,” Bones spoke. “You and old people only come into this store.”
“You really want me hooking up with an old coot?” Jim asked, looking away from the sign that read ‘antique books’.
“Like they’ll really say ‘yes’.” Bones gave him a look.
Jim sighed and shrugged. “Fine, fine. Challenge accepted.”
“First person you run into that isn’t the cashier,” Bones told him, holding the door open for his friend.
“Yeah, yeah.”
They stepped inside and Jim took in the unique smell of the old books. He closed his eyes and smiled. He loved this place. But he was usually the youngest person by two decades in the store when he visited. He almost wished Dennis didn’t keep the store open until ten as he didn’t want to try the pickup line on whatever old person was in that night.
Bones nudged his back and Jim opened his eyes and stepped forward some more.
“Okay, okay, don’t be pushy.”
Bones chuckled. He walked to a nearby couch and plopped down. Jim stayed in the middle of the small lobby. He strained his head looking down a few rows of book shelves but saw no one. Dennis behind the counter didn’t pay him any attention, but Shakespeare, the store’s resident cat came over for scratches, butting his head against Jim’s leg.
“Hey, Shakes.” Jim knelt down and gave the calico kitty what he wanted. Shakespeare meowed at him and butted his leg again. Jim gave him a few more scratches and rubbed his hand down the soft fur of his back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t bring treats this time.”
“Jim, shop closes in five minutes.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jim stood and straightened his jacket. He went to the counter and leaned against it. “Hey Dennis, anyone in tonight?”
“Anyone in?” Dennis, the middle-aged store owner, looked up and asked.
“Customers, that is.”
“Besides you two, there’s some guy loitering on the upper level.”
“Young like me or older?”
“Dunno. I can’t tell with his species. Could be fifty. Could be fifteen. I dunno.”
“His species?” Jim pondered but hearing footsteps on the back steps. He shot Bones a look. “I’m not asking a kid.”
“I would kill you, if you did,” Bones replied. “If they’re too young, then we’ll call it a night. Or you can ask Dennis.”
Jim looked back at Dennis who had turned back to his own book on the desk behind the counter top. Dennis was alright looking for his age but yeah, no. Jim wasn’t going to ask Dennis. He mostly feared the older guy would say yes.
Jim tapped his fingers on the counter and waited as the footsteps grew closer.
“Meow!”
“I have already given you a pat on the head,” a calm and pleasant voice came from behind Jim.
Alright, show time. Jim readied his best look then turned slowly around and leaned casually against the counter. “Hey, you…” Jim trailed off seeing no one there. He blinked and then heard another meow. Looking down, Jim saw the top of a dark head of hair of a Vulcan crouched down, petting the belly of a spoiled cat.
Vulcan? Seriously? Probably should by a cookbook while I’m here. Work on some different recipes.
Jim caught Bones’ gaze across the room. Bones’ lips were tight as the brunette country doctor was trying his darndest not to laugh. He flipped the other the bird and then sighed.
“I must pay for my books and depart now,” the Vulcan told Shakespeare. “I shall return another time and pet you some more. Is that satisfactory?”
Shakespeare meowed and then nipped at the Vulcans fingers before running off into the store. The Vulcan stood up.
Jim readied his look again. Smiling and batting his baby blues as the Vulcan turned towards him. Chocolate brown eyes locked with his and Jim’s signature look faultered. His mouth opened but no words came out.
Fuck me, he’s gorgeous. Goddammit, Bones.
“Are you ready, Sir?” Dennis asked behind Jim.
The Vulcan’s eyes left Jim’s. “Yes, I am.” He stepped forward and stood next to Jim at the counter.
Jim shut his mouth and glared at Bones who had put his hands over his face and was shaking. Jim took in a breath. A deal was a deal. He twisted his body and put his elbow onto the counter. “Hey.”
The Vulcan looked at him. He raised a neatly slanted brow. “Hello.”
“How old are you?” Jim asked for good measure?”
“I am in my twenty-seventh year, why?”
Licking his lips, Jim just went for it. “Wanna have sex?”
The Vulcan’s dark eyes widened a fraction. Dennis groaned before slapping the other’s receipt down onto the books he’d purchase. Bones had stopped shaking and was staring at them intently. Jim licked his lips again, mentally bracing himself for the rejection.
Those dark eyes darted to Jim’s mouth then trailed down his body. Jim tried not to fidget under the intense gaze. The Vulcan’s eyes came back up and met his. “Certainly. It has been some time since I last engaged in satisfactory sexual activity with another, so I could use the release. Is now a good time? My apartment is a block away.”
Jim opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to process the turn of events. Sure, he’d had confidence that he could get a yes from someone but fuck, a Vulcan. A hot Vulcan in a bookstore. Jim nodded. “Y…y…yeah. Sure.”
“Are you submissive?”
Jim nodded enthusiastically. Heck yeah, he was.
“Excellent. Follow me.”
And Jim did. He gave Bones a shrug as they headed for the door.
“Dammit, Jim, wait! He’s a stranger!” Bones called after him. “He could be a serial killer!”
“Is there a problem?” the Vulcan asked when they were on the street outside.
Bones stood in the doorway of the shop.
“Are you a serial killer?” Jim asked.
“I am not. Are you?”
“Nope.”
“Good. I am Spock.”
“Jim.”
“Jim!” Bones fussed but Jim had hooked his arm with Spock’s and walked away with him.
Bones groaned. He had put his friend up to it. “At least use a condom!”
Sunday Evening
Bones paced around the living room. Jim had been gone two days. No calls, no messages. Nothing. The communicator rang a few times then went to voice mail which Bones had filled up with rants to his friend that he better not be dead. The messages got no responses too.
“Fuck it, I’m filing a report.” Bones grabbed up his jacket. He was supposed to be packing to leave for Georgia the next afternoon to spend the week before academy classes starting with his daughter. Now he had to deal with a missing person. “He had better not be dead. If he’s dead I’ll…Jim!”
Jim jumped as he came into the apartment. “Jesus, Bones, don’t yell like that.” Jim shut the door behind him and came further into their home. “What the heck is your problem?”
“My problem?! You’ve been going two days!” Bones looked him over. He was wearing different clothes from Friday evening. New clothes, actually.
Jim scratched the back of his head. “Oh, yeah, right.”
Bones flung his arms up. “Where the hell have you been?!”
“With that guy.” Jim walked by and towards his room. Bones followed.
“He was a stranger! Why the hell did you go off with him?”
Jim stopped at his closet. He looked at his friend quizzically. “Um…the deal? You bet that I couldn’t pick up a guy…”
“I didn’t think it would work or that if it did, you wouldn’t be stupid enough to go off with some stranger!”
“Can ya stop yelling?”
Bones groaned. “I called.”
“I know.” Jim grabbed his small suitcase and started putting clothes in it. Bones waved his hands at that in a silent, ‘what the fuck are you doing?’. Jim ignored it. “We were just so busy and I meant to call. I’m sorry, Bonesy. We went back to his place.” Jim grinned. “Had a very, very, very nice night. Then Saturday morning he made me breakfast and then we went antiquing.”
“Antiquing?”
“Mmhmm. His mom’s birthday is coming up so we wanted to get her something nice.”
“We?”
“Mmhmm.” Jim continued packing. “And then today we went to the science museum and the aquarium.”
Bones approached and stopped Jim from adding more clothes to the bag. “What. Are. You. Doing?”
“Oh! Since you’ll be gone for the week, Spock and I decided to go away too. He’s a professor at the academy so he’s got the week free, too. Isn’t that cool? Anyway, we’re going to Crater Lake to camp, hike, and swim. It’s going to be fun.” Jim broke away from Bones and finished packing.
“Jim.”
“Yes.”
“You just met the guy.”
Jim smiled at his bestie. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”
“Lust, yes. Love, no.”
“Well…I didn’t either. Definitely had the lust when I first saw him, but now…now I think its love.”
“Jim.”
“Bones.”
“Stockholm syndrome can develop…”
Jim laughed and shook his head. He zipped up his bag and hoisted it off the bed. “You don’t have to do the meals, Bones. I’m letting you off the hook.”
Bones followed Jim out of the room and to the front door. “Jim.”
Jim stopped at the door and faced him. “Bones, I’m good. Seriously. Spock isn’t a creep or a serial killer. He is quite bitey in bed…”
“James.”
Jim chuckled. “All is well, Leonard. I love you and I hope you enjoy your week with Joanna.”
“Please answer your comm if I call or text.”
“I will, mother.”
“And be safe.”
“You too.” Jim gave him a dazzling smile. He turned to leave but then pivoted back and said, “Although a deal is a deal. How about next Monday evening you make some of your amazing chili? Tofu for Spock, cause he’s a vegetarian.”
Before Bones could respond, Jim was gone. Instead of running after him, he went to the living room window that looked out to the front of the building. He pried it open and stuck his head out. He saw the Vulcan standing by a hovercar. Jim soon appeared and the two shared a quick kiss.
“I’m not disgracing my southern cooking with tofu! He’ll eat vegetarian chili or else.”
“Deal!” Jim called back and gave him a salute. The Vulcan merely raised his hand in a Vulcan salute.
“And if you kill him, hobgoblin, I’ll find you!”
The Vulcan looked like he wanted to say something to that but Jim laughed and made Spock get into the car.
Bones came back into the apartment after they drove off. He shut the window and shook his head. He shrugged. “They’ll end up in the news or married. Either way, I have no one to blame but myself.”