Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

CRYSTAL has created the chat POKEDEX HOLDERS

CRYSTAL has added GOLD, SILVER, BLUE, and 12 others

Crystal: This is so we can all keep in touch since we're in different regions and stuff. You older people, there's youngeer kids here so please keep it rated E for Everyone.

Gold: what so like

no fucks? in either sense im assuming

Crystal: Gold stop

Gold: yeet

Silver: crystal why would you sentence me to this

Green: This is going to be a disaster

Gold: its gonna be a disASSter

Crystal: Gold.

GOLD changed CRYSTAL's name to PLEASE DO NOT SWEAR ON MY GOOD CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

please do not swear on my good christian minecraft server: Do you never stop

Also how did you get it to let you write such a long name??

Gold: :D

Red: wait what even is this???

Yellow: umm Crystal said its for professional reasons

please do not swear on my good christian minecraft server: I mean kind of

oh for

PLEASE DO NOT SWEAR ON MY GOOD CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER changed their name to CRYSTAL

Gold: wow boring

here have some fun

GOLD changed CRYSTAL's name to KICKASS

kickass: you're right Green this has become a disaster

quite quickly in fact

Gold: its a disASSter

Sun: its a catastrophe

Gold: wtf where did you come from

crystal who tf is this

kickass: one of our juniors

Gold: damn we have juniors???

kickass: YES which is why you aren't supposed to SWEAR

Gold: actually you said to keep it rated e for everyone

and fucks are for everyone

BLUE changed GOLD's name to MOTHERFUCKER

motherfucker: excuse you I would never

Blue: I have my doubts about that

Silver: f

Sun: f

kickass: f

Red: f

Green: f

Yellow: f

Sapphire: f

Black: f

Pearl: f

Moon: f

White: f

motherfucker: wait where did those last 4 come from

Black: I dont even know whats going on but I could feel that burn from Unova

White: same

BLACK changed their name to STONER

White: wow ok

just

wow

Sun: wait am i the only one whos confused

MOON changed SUN's name to $UN

$un: no seriously tho

White: Black got turned into a stone for like two years

$un: oh oof

White: yeah

STONER changed WHITE's name to BOSS

boss: oof is ri

wait black wtf

$UN changed MOON's name to POISON MAIDEN

poison maiden: bitch

$un: :D

motherfucker: wait why am i not allowed to say the fuck words if this fucking twelve year old can

kickass: bc they know whats appropriate for their ears, you do not

motherfucker: eyes*

kickass: my point stands

Red: ok but etf even is this chat anymore

motherfucker: wtf does etf mean

$un: eh the fuck

motherfucker: were not fucking canadian

GREEN has left the chat

BLUE has added GREEN to the chat

Blue: if I have to suffer through thus then so do you

$un: thus

GREEN changed BLUE's name to KHAN

Khan: lol

bitch

Ruby: Crystal why

kickass: THIS ISNT MY FUCKIN FAULT

motherfucker: literally everythinjg goes now if crys is swearing lol

$un: everythinjg

motherfucker: stfu

Khan: wait where did silver go

motherfucker: hold on

hes watching his fucking cartoons on my fucking netflix

Khan: ???

Silver: excuse you proteam omega is not a damn cartoon

Pearl: fuck you didnt

Platinum: Oh dear

Diamond: WHAT ABOUT PROTEAM OMEGA

Silver: ?

Diamond: PEARL WE HAVE A SENIOR WHO WATCHES IT TOO

I TOLD YOU ITS NOT STUPID

motherfucker: thats debatable

SILVER has kicked MOTHERFUCKER from the chat

GREEN has added MOTHERFUCKER to the chat

Green: its not that easy

SILVER has changed GREEN's name to FUCKIN ASSHOLE

fuckin asshole: wow ok

Red: hey green im sensing a trend here

Khan: yeah green

a TREND

lol

KHAN has changed RED's name to EASY TARGET

motherfucker: oof

easy target: nothin like nostalgia amiright or amiright

ykno just rememberin the good old days

when you fuckin stole all my gym badges

bitch

Khan: ;)

Yellow: k but we should all go to bed

easy target: yup yellows right

MOTHERFUCKER changed YELLOW's name to HAT

hat: were never getting over that are we

motherfucker: nope

Chapter Text

»Pokedex Holders«
Aug 13
8:32 a.m.

X: yall ever get that feeling where you just wanna die and you feel like it's monday

Y: no

·

Silver: lol yeah

hat: what

kickass: wow good morning

X: a good morning to DIE

motherfucker: wtf do i gotta wake up to thsi

who tf even are these people

tge fuck

Y: were from kalos

if that helps

motherfucker: i mean no it doesnt but like it does help decide this bitches nickname

MOTHERFUCKER changed X's name to EMO KALOS BITCH

$un: oof

emo kalos BITCH: accurate

Y: basically describes his entire character

EMO KALOS BITCH changed Y's name to FREE ME FROM THESE EARTHEN BONDS

free me from these earthen bonds: also accurate but too long

FREE ME FROM THESE EARTHEN BONDS changed their name to BELIEVE I CAN FLY

believe i can fly: better

motherfucker: silver where tf are you

Silver: ?

i left?

motherfucker: WHAT WHY

WHAT THE FCK MAN

WHY DO U ALWAYS FUCKIN COME INTO MY HOUSE

WATCH YOUR DAMN CARTOONS

AND THEN LEAVE

FUCKIN

Silver: it isnt a cartoon gold

MOTHERFUCKER changed SILVER's name to WEEB

PEARL changed DIAMOND's name to WEEB JR

weeb: should I even ask

WEEB JR changed PEARL's name to LISTEN HERE

POISON MAIDEN changed PLATINUM's name to RICHY BITCHY WITCHY

richy bitchy witchy: how dare you

poison maiden: how dare yourself

fuckin steals my shoes

fuckin

RICHY BITCHY WITCHY changed POISON MAIDEN's name to SMALLER BITCH WITCH

smaller bitch witch: oh wow ok then

bitch

richy bitchy witchy: bitch yourself

Aug 14
2:24 a.m.

weeb: lie down on the sidewalk with your tongue against the concrete til the whole world dissolves like an uncoated pill

easy target: im sorry????

motherfucker: its a tumblr shitpost

hes a fuckin emo bitch and he quotes tumblr shitposts at 3 in the fuckin am when were all trying to sleep

weeb: one day you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe and you will have to justify the space that youve filled

motherfucker: yeah i already met arceus and it actually seemed pretty pleased with how ive spent my time

pleased enough to NOT go on a humanity-destroying rampage in fact

listen here: excuse me what the fuck

kickass: gold why are you even awake???

motherfucker: i was bingewatching netflix after silver hogged it for a week whats your excuse?

kickass: i was fucking

asleep????

and then yall fuckin woke me the fuck up???????

motherfucker: rip crystals good nights rest

easy target: wait where did silver go then?

motherfucker: probably to commit a crime

like theft

or maybe arson

kickass: wait red why are you awake??

easy target: ptsd man

nightmares n shit

ykno tge usual

kickass: oh

well ykno i actually have like a shit ton of advice for that if you wanna just call me

easy target: hell yeah

motherfucker: uh well good night then i guess

weeb: id strike the sun if it insulted me

motherfucker: fuck off

8:47 a.m.

fuckin asshole: what even the actual fucking hell