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He likes to think this is not a crush and that he’s very interested in the weird goth art kid because he has amazing sculptures and looks lonely. Xie Lian is absolutely not somebody that wants romance or sex. He doesn’t need it and that’s fine, he’s fine.
His new study partner likes to think otherwise though as he constantly nudges Xie Lian whenever the art kid walks by.
“Hua Cheng has a cool shirt on today, huh?” Pei Ming will say, winking.
“He’s wearing the red sweater over it so I can’t see it.” Xie Lian says, shooting a furtive look at Pei Ming.
“You should try talking to him more.”
“And you should focus on math.”
Pei Ming groans, causing quite a few people to turn a sharp glare on him. Xie Lian rolls his eyes at the dramatics and pushes the book in front of Pei Ming’s nose.
“You asked for more than just a passing grade so let’s keep going.”
Xie Lian hides into his own book, finishing the last of the homework assigned. He ignores Pei Ming trying to talk to him that isn’t about their work and soon their small study session is finished.
“Are you going home now? You should come drinking with me and a few friends.” Pei Ming says, stretching at the door.
“I don’t drink. But thank you for the invitation. Maybe next time I might join you.”
Xie Lian holds the door for Pei Ming and a couple other women passing by. He steps out and trips over the small ledge. He tries to right himself but the ground is slick from rain and all he can do is brace himself for the impact. He feels somebody catching him by the shoulders, holding him steady before he hits the ground face first.
Pei Ming whistles, laughing as he says, “Like a knight in shining armor.”
Xie Lian looks up, seeing Hua Cheng holding him and feels his face growing hot as he holds back from ripping away from him. He smiles, straightening up and rolling his arms. He ignores the pain he feels in his back from the action.
“Thank you. I’m too clumsy for my own good some days,” Xie Lian says with a laugh.
Hua Cheng lets him go after he’s sure Xie Lian is steady, stepping back. “No problem. Please be more careful.”
He’s about to leave when Pei Ming speaks up in a voice louder than what’s needed, “Man, Xie Lian, what are you going to do about your art grade? With all the time you’re helping me out, how can you finish your extra projects?”
Xie Lian shoots Pei Ming a dirty look because Hua Cheng stops immediately, turning back around and cocking his head to the side. He only has one eye but it’s bright with something that Xie Lian can’t place.
“You need help with art?” he asks, looking at Xie Lian.
“It’s nothing. I’m just not good at drawing but I need a credit and music was already booked.”
“I can help you.”
“Really, it’s fine.”
“Come on, Xie Lian.” Pei Ming wheadles. “The man’s offering to help. You might as well. What are your parents going to say if you don’t have good marks.”
Xie Lian’s face falls at the mention of his parents. He acts like nothing is wrong as he plasters on his same wistful smile as he says, “Maybe you’re right. A little guidance might help me at least pass.”
“Are you free tomorrow at three? We can meet and I can figure out how to help you with your assignments.”
Xie Lian’s smile turns brighter as he discusses with Hua Cheng when to meet. Pei Ming stands to the side, scrolling through his phone, and rapidly talking away to whichever girl he was trying to hook up with. His knowing smile when Xie Lian turns away from Hua Cheng walking off, readjusting his bag.
“So you have a date with the elusive Hua Cheng?”
“No, I don’t. I’m meeting him so he can graciously help me with my awful artwork. Nothing more. If you hadn’t said anything-”
Pei Ming turned, waving over his shoulder. “Thank me later. I have to meet Shi Wudu and Ling Wen still.”
Xie Lian sighs, walking back to his ramshackle apartment, ruminating on what just happened. The lights won’t turn on and he wonders if the power was paid for or not by his roommate. He doubts it. They only have heating and hot water from Xie Lian. He works a lot of odd jobs and this was a rare day off that he got to come home to his apartment without having to rush out immediately for a job.
He drops into his bed, curling against the rough mat that makes up his mattress. He’s exhausted from his back hurting more than usual and his limbs tingle and throb with the colder weather. He isn’t sure if he could even get up again for his medication if he tries.
He sleeps fitfully as always, up and down all night from either insomnia or nightmares about his past. Xie Lian is up and at school earlier than most because of his sleeping schedule. He sits in the yard on a bench outside the class Pei Ming has first. He begins reading a book he’s been working through. He doesn’t notice when somebody approaches him, only realizing when the light is blocked by shadow. He looks up and instantly smiles at Hua Cheng.
“Hello, Hua Cheng. I didn’t expect you to be here so early.” Xie Lian says casually.
“Call me San Lang. And I have class in an hour and was bored.” He shrugs. “What class do you have?”
“Oh, it’s not for another three hours. I have come to meet Pei Ming to make sure that his work is done. He likes to slack off outside our study sessions so I check his stuff over.”
“Does he pay you?”
“No, why would he?”
Hua Cheng narrows his eye, looking down. “You spend a lot of time helping him.”
“It’s not a big deal. I don’t mind helping him. He has helped me quite a lot throughout the years.”
“Have you known him long?”
“A couple years. I’ve been here for three because I’m working on a masters. This is his second year.”
Hua Cheng nods, stretching out his legs beside Xie Lian on the bench. “Why are you here so early?”
“Oh,” Xie Lian laughs a little uncomfortably. “I don’t sleep the best and my apartment isn’t good so I try to spend as little time as possible in it.”
“Hm, I understand. Have you ate?”
Xie Lian shakes his head and Hua Cheng smiles happily.
“I haven’t either. Do you want to join me for breakfast today?”
Xie Lian instantly shakes his head again. “I don’t have any money and you don’t have to pay. You’re already helping me with my artwork.”
Hua Cheng almost pouts, his eye turning a little sad. “I never said you needed money. Let’s go.”
Xie Lian is pulled up by his hand and struggles to pick up his bag. Hua Cheng looks back curiously and puts out a hand to carry Xie Lian’s bag.
“You don’t have to carry my stuff, it’s just a little heavy.” Xie Lian says with a lighthearted smile.
Hua Cheng doesn’t give a response, leaning in closely to take it off Xie Lian’s back anyways.
“Where would you like to go?” he asks Xie Lian instead.
“I’m fine with whatever you would like. I’m not one to be too picky. I’ve managed to eat from the garbage before so why not something on campus? We get free food with tuition.”
Hua Cheng’s face was unreadable but there was a small twist of his mouth. Xie Lian just realized what he said but had no time to process it as Hua Cheng shook his head.
“I know a place. Follow me. I can’t have you eating from the cafeteria. I know somebody that works there for the free food and he’s told me too much about what they do for cleaning.”
“They clean too much?”
“They don’t clean the friers or dishes. He can’t do dishes for shit and he’s the dishwasher.”
Xie Lian can’t help but laugh. “Maybe I’ll have to show him how to wash dishes next time they ask me to fill a shift.”
“You work there?”
“Not often. They have enough staff so I’m just in case.” Xie Lian frowns, feeling his shoulders droop. “I like doing the cleaning they need me to but it’s alright. I’m very good at finding jobs for myself.”
“What do you usually do?”
“I work at a lot of different places throughout the week. They all have lots of staff so they only have me on once a week usually to fill out the busier hours at night after the bars close and people are hungry. I work in a few fast food places downtown and I waitress for a couple higher end places too.”
“Why do you work so much and do tutoring for free still?”
Xie Lian smiles, shrugging non committedly. He follows Hua Cheng menialy, his shoulders becoming tense when they leave campus to a slightly nicer than usual spot. The campus was in the middle of downtown so it’s a short walk for them. Hua Cheng immediately opens the door for him and there’s an excited noise from one of the tables.
“Xie Lian! Hua Cheng!” somebody calls.
Hua Cheng sighs, looking over cooly. Xie Lian is less cold, more shocked. An older friend, Shi Qingxuan, is waving excitedly from a table with somebody dressed in all black. Very different from the vibrant, almost garish colours of Shi Qinxuan.
“I knew it was you! A-Xuan, I told you!” she’s saying happily, skipping over to the two in the doorway. The hostess raises an eyebrow and Qingxuan giddily asks to add two more people to their table.
When they get close to the other person, Hua Cheng smirks as he says, “A-Xuan.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Where’s my money then?”
Xie Lian watches the exchange, confused but still smiling politely. Hua Cheng pulls Xie Lian’s chair out for him before he sits himself and Qingxuan raises her eyebrows at that, sharing a look with the mentioned A-Xuan.
“Xie Lian, okay. Where have you been? I’ve been trying to find your social media everywhere!” Qingxuan says excitedly.
“I don’t...have any.” Xie Lian answers honestly.
“What, oh my god. That has to change. I haven’t talked with you in years. Are you back in school with Hua Cheng, then?”
“I’m in school again, yes. I’m finishing my degree. I just share a class with Hua Cheng for a general credit I forgot about.”
Qingxuan is leanin, smiling happily. She straightens with a small oh. “I have some updates for you, then! I got a partner! This is He Xuan. Remember Ming-xiong I was talking about? This is them!”
Xie Lian offers a polite smile. “As you have already heard, I am Xie Lian. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
He Xuan grunts, which earns them a glare from Hua Cheng.
“Why are you and Hua Cheng together, then. When did you two start dating.”
Xie Lian chokes on air, flailing his hands wildly. “No, no nothing. We aren’t-No, I’m not-! I don’t have the time or-”
“We aren’t dating, just friends.” Hua Cheng says smoothly. He looks almost disappointed.
“Hm, my mistake then! Also, you must notice I look very dashing?”
“Yes, did you get estrogen, finally?” Xie Lian asks, recovering and leaning closer.
“I did! Thankfully some strings got pulled and they got me pushed through! I finally have tits. Do you finally have none?”
Xie Lian shot a furtive, nervous look to Hua Cheng before nodding.
“Gege shouldn’t worry what I think.” Hua Cheng says, lowering his voice. “I’m trans, too.”
“Nobody can be that hot and not trans, I think.” Qingxuan says lightly. “Don’t you agree, A-Xuan?”
“He’s alright.”
“I could still kick your ass.”
Xie Lian can’t help the snicker he gives which makes Hua Cheng absolutely preen, shooting a happy look to Xie Lian.
“Needless to say, out of us all, Xie Lian would be the one to actually kick all our asses. I, for one, would welcome it.” Qingxuan says dramatically.
“I’m way past being able to do that.”
“Nope, I said it so it’s true.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian says, looking for help.
“I agree. So does A-Xuan, don’t you?”
Xie Lian can feel his face burning as he buries it in his hands. He hasn’t had this much fun in a very long time. He can’t help the pang at remembering his old friends and their bickering. His smile dissipates into melancholic and Hua Cheng gives him a worried look.
Qingxuan notices and, almost like she knew what he was thinking about, says, “I can tell Feng Xin and Mu Qing I saw you. I talk to them a lot still if you want to tell them anything.”
Xie Lian smiles. “Please wish them well for me.”
The conversation evolves, having mainly Qingxuan and Xie Lian chatting animatedly with the other two offering small comments here and there. It’s something Xie Lian feels making him brim with happiness as they eat and talk.
It carries him home with a happy grin long after him and Hua Cheng part for the day for other classes.
Pei Ming was busy on his phone when Xie Lian came in for their tutoring session. He barely even looks up from his phone as Xie Lian starts laying everything out to start their work together.
“How did your date with Hua Cheng go?” Pei Ming asks, glancing at Xie Lian finally.
“I’m sorry, my what?” Xie Lian sputters, dropping his books loudly from where he was taking them from his bag. A few people look over, giving him an angry look and he smiles apologetically.
“I saw you guys a few days ago. Took my advice, eh?”
Xie Lian levels him with an unimpressed stare. “I don’t know what you mean. He invited me to breakfast and then we had class. I’m going to help him with martial arts and he’ll help me with art.”
“Wait, you help him in martial arts?”
“Yes, he has a physical education credit needed.”
“I never knew you could do martial arts”
Xie Lian gives a stiff nod. “I studied swordsmanship through various forms. I got in on a scholarship for it. It is in the past but I still remember a fair amount.”
“Why did you quit?”
Xie Lian doesn’t answer, just shrugs. He opens his book to where their homework is due and Pei Ming groans.
“You’re so boring it’s a simple question. Why did you stop doing martial arts? Is it because of your parents going bankrupt?”
“You were saying you were having trouble figuring out the molecular compounds and the equations last time.” Xie Lian continues, acting like Pei Ming wasn’t having a completely different conversation.
“Is it because of the person you k-”
Xie Lian shuts his book loudly. He gets up abruptly and leaves the library. Pei Ming calls after him but he walks quickly away, making his way to the next classroom he has in an hour. He’s carrying all his books haphazardly in his rush to leave. He tries to reorganize them in his arms and his luck is always bad so he ends up stumbling over a loose chip in the sidewalk.
He loses his footing, feeling dejected as he braces himself as his arm and hands get scraped up. He didn’t want to talk about his past but Pei Ming was always so nosy sometimes. What does it matter? He was good at martial arts. That his parents went bankrupt from something they couldn’t help. That he hurt somebody in a match and-
Somebody stoops to help him pick up his books. The familiar bright red dress shirt gives away who it is.
“Are you alright?” Hua Cheng asks worriedly. He piles everything neatly on the ground he’s holding and takes Xie Lian’s bloodied and dirt filled hands into his. “You need to clean these so they don’t get infected.”
“I’m fine, thank you.” Xie Lian says.
He tries to pull his hands from Hua Cheng’s but he only frowns deeper. Hua Cheng releases only one hand before pulling out a small bag with a packet of tissues, bandages, and alcohol wipes from his bag.
“You don’t look fine.”
Xie Lian tries to argue but Hua Cheng is pressing the tissues against the bloody mess of Xie Lian’s hands. He blinks at the sting and pressure, freezing. He wishes he could be grateful for the care but Xie Lian feels his back seizing and his emotions becoming turbulent. He just wants to skip class and go back to his run down apartment and just lay down.
“I only have alcohol wipes and those are going to sting.” Hua Cheng says, gently pulling one of Xie Lian’s hands to get his attention.
Xie Lian is baffled at the care Hua Cheng is putting into the act of simply cleaning dirt from scrapes. He’s used to worse, deals with worse regularly. But the tenderness that is put into something so small makes Xie Lian start at the sharp sting and smell of the alcohol wipes.
“Sorry, I know it’s annoying.” Hua Cheng says, smiling through his hair. It’s long and tickling Xie Lian’s arm where Hua Cheng is bent over his hands.
“It’s nothing. I’m just clumsy, is all.” Xie Lian says softly.
“I remember you were far from clumsy when you helped me the other day.” Hua Cheng says idly. “It was quite impressive to see as so many people describe you as timid.”
Xie Lian can’t help but laugh a little ruefully. “Most people don’t have nice things to say about me to begin with at this school.”
Hua Cheng frowns, flicking his eye up through his hair. Xie Lian looks away uncomfortably, coughing and clearing his throat. He was in a lot of pain and tired. Xie Lian willfully ignored the look and smiled, looking at Hua Cheng.
“I’ve heard lots about you, though. Who would have known that you were here with a major in visual art?”
Hua Cheng snorts at the comment. “I’ve always been good at drawing. Might as well use it for something. I have some time to kill so I thought I would go to school for a little to see if there was anything that could help me with my commissions.”
“Do you do a lot of commissions outside of school?”
“Yeah, the city has given me some jobs and a lot of richer people like my stuff. They never say it to my face but they hate working with me because I’m particular about what I do and where it goes.”
Xie Lian smiles, laughing softly. “I’m glad you’re able to put your skills to use then. Heaven knows we always need art to liven things up.”
Hua Cheng blinks, looking up a little fast. Xie Lian smiles at him, gently taking his hands back from the slackened grip.
“I’m not done. I have to bandage your hands.”
“No need. I work tonight so they will get in the way. I will put some tape on it if it starts bleeding too badly.”
“I’m-what?” Hua Cheng narrows his eye, confusion evident.
Xie Lian laughs again, starting to push up front the ground where they’re still sitting. He can’t help but stop as his back sends a stab of pain along his entire body. He can’t stop the hunched posture and deep grimace. Hua Cheng is saying something but he can’t hear very well as he focuses on ignoring the pain and standing up so he can get to class.
“What happened, did you hurt your back?” Hua Cheng is holding his arms and Xie Lian belatedly realises that he must have almost fallen over as he stood up.
“This is…” Xie Lian isn’t sure how to say it, eventually muttering, “an old injury. It’s nothing major.”
Hua Cheng looks genuinely concerned but doesn’t push any farther. Xie Lian is grateful for that as he isn’t sure he could say what happened so soon to a stranger.
“Let me help carry your things, then.” Hua Cheng is saying. Xie Lian laughs, thinking it's a joke but Hua Cheng levels him with his concerned and honest stare.
“You have class…” Xie Lian tries to say but Hua Cheng shrugs.
“What class are you going to?”
“I’m going to the art room. I have to take an art credit for general knowledge.”
“Aren’t I lucky because so am I.”
Xie Lian frowns but relents, watching as Hua Cheng takes the copious amount of books from his arms and sling his bag onto his shoulder. They walk in a comfortable silence towards the art hall but Xie Lian can feel exhaustion creeping up on him and he stumbles again just a little and it catches Hua Cheng’s attention.
“Are you tired?”
“I’m fine. I get tired easily some days but it is nothing I haven’t dealt with before. I’m too busy to deal with it properly.”
“That’s not right.” Hua Cheng’s frown is deep and almost edging on angry. Xie Lian isn’t sure if it’s at him or not and chooses to ignore it.
“Why are you in my general education level art classes?” Xie Lian asks instead.
“Well, I had a free space in my time slot. I was getting bored having the extra slot open so I looked to see which other classes were taught at this time. It was the only one open.”
“Doesn’t it feel too easy though, since you’re a big artist?”
Hua Cheng shrugs. They reach the classroom and sit next to each other. There’s some gaping at the two as Hua Cheng had not once opened up to anybody on campus like Xie Lian. There were two people that he was tolerant of but Xie Lian was eliciting laughter and small smiles from Hua Cheng.
The teacher came a few minutes later and the chatter died immediately. The class went by quickly, too quickly for Xie Lian. He hadn’t had somebody like a friend in a very long time and to have Hua Cheng next to him writing small notes to show him during class was foreign. Nobody had done that for five years now.
It gave him a sense of elation and happiness he hasn’t had in a very long time.
The two separate easily at the classroom doorway. Xie Lian smiles happily, knowing he has at least one friend in this class now.
As he is about to leave campus for work, Pei Ming barrels over to him, hurriedly asking what happened this morning, where he went, why he doesn’t have a phone so they could easily reschedule when to meet up again.
“I can’t afford to buy a phone, you know this, Pei Ming. We can reschedule right now regardless. I am free tomorrow morning.”
“Well, I have an assignment due tonight!”
Xie Lian hums. “I have to go to work right now. I cannot help you until at least 7pm tonight but I will not have long as I work tomorrow morning very early.”
“You’re joking, I could have just copied off of Ling Wen at this point.”
“She would never let you.”
Pei Ming grumbles, kicking the ground. “She never even wants to help one of her best friends study either. She’s so cruel.”
Xie Lian knows it’s because Pei Ming is wholly an awful student and Ling Wen has no patience. He doesn’t say that. He just smiles and waves as he leaves for the bus station.
The next few days are a blur as Xie Lian works both morning and night in between classes. He almost falls asleep in the hall waiting for the teacher many times. Pei Ming is easier to deal with in his exhausted state though and he manages to finish his own projects and essays on time. He is dead set on getting a masters in mathematics this time. He almost finished last time before he had to leave school so he has only been here for a year at this point, finishing the work he hadn’t before. But he picked up extra work towards getting a teaching licence, making him stay longer.
Hua Cheng is the only spot he remembers genuinely looking forward to. He immediately brightens when Hua Cheng sits down beside him in class and happily chats with him when it's over or inbetween. He doesn’t have the time to actually help Hua Cheng with martial arts over the next two weeks but consistently promises to make time on the weekend. The only problem being he had no room in his small, cramped apartment he shares.
“There’s no need for you to inconvenience yourself for my sake.” Hua Cheng says lightly. “Gege works hard. You should use your few days off to rest.”
Xie Lian snorts. “I haven’t done that in about five years.”
“You haven’t given yourself an actual day off in five years?”
“No,” Xie Lian smiles ruefully at his hands where he sits on a bench, clutching his bag as he waits for the bus to go to work. “I can’t afford to have a day off. Even sharing a cramped two bedroom is hard for me to make ends meet. I don’t have a scholarship anymore to help pay for school.”
Hua Cheng makes a disgruntled noise. “Don’t worry about my grades. Saturday you should do something you like.”
“I don’t...Know what I would do, if I’m being honest.” Xie Lian looks at Hua Cheng, leaning against the small alcove wall beside him. “I’ve done nothing but work. Recently it was to save up for tuition for a year but before that...for so long that I haven’t given myself time to do hobbies for years.”
“Would you like to come with me on Saturday? I have a couple errands I need to run and I would love to treat Gege to lunch.”
Xie Lian looks over, startled at the sudden proposal. Hua Cheng is almost vulnerable with how his shoulders are tight and his smile is a little bit more strained than it usually is. Xie Lian can’t help but nod, almost hesitantly, like Hua Cheng will suddenly say nevermind.
“I also haven’t gone out with friends in a very long time so I would love to, San Lang.”
But, even though he agreed, Xie Lian is incredibly nervous when Saturday comes. He hasn’t spent an entire day with Hua Cheng before and he isn’t sure the last time he spent a day with friends in general. He has worked so much and so often after being estranged from his old life and friends, he isn’t sure he even has hobbies.
Because of that, he spends way too much time finding something to wear. He decides on his nicest pair of jeans that only have a few paint spots on them from an old job and a newer sweater that still covers the scarring on his neck.
Hua Cheng is much more put together when they meet each other downtown. He looks almost too smug at the added height he has in heels which makes Xie Lian puff out his cheeks in a pout.
“No fair, San Lang.” Xie Lian jokes, standing on his toes to meet Hua Cheng’s eye level.
“I don’t mean to offend Gege, please don’t look so hurt. You can borrow my shoes if you’d like.”
“Oh, god no. I’d break them or me first.”
“They’re easier to walk in then you’d expect.”
Xie Lian laughs, shaking his head. “Thank you, San Lang. But we should get going so we can start your errands.”
They start walking towards the first store, an art shop Hua Cheng mentioned. Xie Lian followed happily, chatting with Hua Cheng idly as they walked.
“I need help with getting sheets though,” Hua Cheng says.
“Why?”
“My cat rips them up kneading them because he’s an asshole and uses that to get my attention.”
Xie Lian cackles a little louder than he means to, stopping to double over. “How old is he!?”
“Five. He’s rude and an ass.”
Xie Lian keeps walking, rubbing at his eyes. “That’s adorable. I used to have a dog but I had to rehome him. What’s your cat's name?”
“E’ming. He showed up on my fire escape one day and was in a fight I think. I gave him some food and eventually he let me give him a bath and take all the mats off him.”
“How do you know how old he is, then?”
“I took him to the vet and they estimated he was only a few months at the time.”
“I’d love to meet him,” Xie Lian says with a wistful smile. “I love animals. I miss Ruoye some days.”
“Was that your dog's name?”
“Yes, I...This may seem like too much information but I was homeless and could barely feed myself so I decided to give Ruoye to a better fitting home. It was...one of the hardest things I’ve had to do, walking away from him.”
Hua Cheng hums, but didn’t press any further. Instead he says, “You can meet E’Ming if you’d like.”
“Can I?” Xie Lian asks, grabbing Hua Cheng’s arm excitedly.
“Yes, after my errands I can take you back to my apartment and we can have lunch together there. You can meet him.”
“I’ll help you carry everything for sure, then.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know. I can do it. I’m strong.”
Hua Cheng laughs a little. ”I remember. You are quite adept at Martial Arts.”
Xie Lian smiles absently. They walk the rest of the way to the art store in comfortable silence. When they go inside, Xie Lian gasps involuntarily.
“I never realized how many art mediums there were.” He says, hushed.
Hua Cheng grins sheepishly as he says, “I prefer sculpting, if I’m honest.”
“That’s amazing,” Xie Lian breaths. “I remember you mentioning your statues. You should show me your work some time.”
“Later,” Hua Cheng agrees, stooping to look at brushes.
Xie Lian crouches next to him, asking questions as they look for everything Hua Cheng needs. He answers easily and happily, the two of them spending over an hour walking around as the basket slowly fills with everything.
They leave with Xie Lian insisting on carrying the three bags as they go into another store for a set of sheets. Xie Lian comments on a few of the cheaper ones.
“They’re durable and not that bad for comfort.” Xie Lian says, showing Hua Cheng.
“You use sheets like these? They feel like sandpaper.”
Xie Lian laughs. “My bed is nothing but a mat so I take what I can. What colours do you prefer?”
“Red and I’ll use the ones with actual cotton, I think. What ones do you like?”
Xie Lian hums, pointing to a simple white set. “These ones are quite soft but I have little budget to spend so much on one set. I usually go to second hand stores, honestly.”
Hua Cheng doesn’t say anything as he takes the white ones Xie Lian points to and pays for two sets. When they leave he hands the white set to Xie Lian.
“Oh, let me rearrange your books, they’ll fit easily-”
“They’re for you.”
Xie Lian gapes, staring at Hua Cheng uncomprehendingly. “San Lang…”
“You shouldn’t sleep with such cheap things. You work hard.”
Xie Lian feels himself blushing as the sheets are pushed into his hands. He knows he looks exhausted with his heavy bags and maybe a little too thin frame.
“I’ll pay you back for them.”
“No need,” Hua Cheng interrupts. He looks over determinedly. “You deserve nice things.”
It leaves no room for argument and Xie Lian feels himself sweating a little and his face too hot as he nods, kicking a pebble absently as they continue.
The rest of Hua Cheng’s errands consist of getting a few groceries, and take out for lunch. Xie Lian stubbornly refuses to let Hua Cheng carry more than the take out containers. He knows he’s going to regret it in about one hour as his back is starting to seize and nerves pinching more with each step but he ignores it.
Hua Cheng doesn’t seem too fooled though and snags a couple bags from Xie Lian before they get to his apartment.
They dump everything in the hallway with Hua Cheng putting the food in the kitchen. He leads Xie Lian into the living room, sitting a little too heavily on the couch. Hua Cheng disappears for a moment and he can’t help but leans back against the cushions, closing his eyes tiredly. He almost falls asleep until there’s a small bundle put in his lap.
He opens his eyes to see a bright amber one looking back at him. Xie Lian gasps, letting E’Ming sniff his hand first before he pushes his face against Xie Lian’s, propping his paws on Xie Lian’s chest as he starts purring.
“Suck up,” Hua Cheng says fondly.
Xie Lian laughs, unable to resist kissing E’Ming’s head. “He’s so sweet.”
“He seems to like you way more than me.”
As if to prove Hua Cheng’s point, E’Ming promptly plops down and closes his eye, completely content to sleep on Xie Lian’s lap.
“Wait! He’s missing the eye you have!”
Hua Cheng laughs, nodding. “I think he did it to mock me, if I’m honest.”
Xie Lian laughs. “I don’t think he would. Would you?”
E’Ming lets out a happy chirp to prove Xie Lian’s point.
“Go eat without me, I can’t get up now.” He says in a whisper.
Hua Cheng snorts. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring everything out here. You were about to fall asleep though if you wanted to wait to eat.”
“No, no, it’d be too rude to sleep as your guest.”
Hua Cheng seems to disagree but doesn’t argue. He disappears again and comes back with their bag of food. He sets it out and hands Xie Lian a set of chopsticks and his lunch. They eat relatively silently as Xie Lian looks around idly. He double takes at a certain painting.
“Who did that one?” he asks, pointing to the painting with a scene of a man mid-take down of somebody else. It pricks a faded, dusty memory that Xie Lian can’t quite put his finger on.
“I did. It’s an earlier piece I did for school.”
“What school…” Xie Lian trails off, closing his eyes and scrunching his nose. “I’ve seen this before.”
Hua Cheng hums non committedly. “I can show you my other work after we finish eating, if you’d like. I use one of the spare bedrooms as an art studio. I have a commission I'm almost finished.”
Xie Lian nods happily, closing the lid of his container. “I’m finished now but I can’t move.”
Hua Cheng looks worriedly at the half empty container but closes his as well. He scoops E’Ming up easily, E’Ming letting out a grumble but adapting to easily snuggle into Hua Cheng’s neck instead.
“What kind of cat is he? He’s huge.”
“Probably a maine coon mix. His tail and size gives away he’s mixed with that at least.”
Xie Lian coos over E’ming, happily rubbing one of his ears. It makes him blink awake, pushing into Xie Lian’s hand.
They move down the hall again into Hua Cheng’s art studio. Xie Lian happily flits around, looking at the unfinished sketches, the paintings stacked on a desk, the canvases piled in the corner. But the thing he spends the most time looking at is a statue of a celebrity he vaguely remembers seeing around billboards downtown.
“Who is this for?” Xie Lian asks, pointing to the sculpture.
“The man himself. He wanted one for some charity auction. His agent contacted mine about it and asked it to be a donation but since it takes so much time and material he’s paying me still. Not as much as I usually take for these pieces though because it's for an orphanage I was in as a kid. He’s lucky I’m not charging more.”
“Did you like the people at your orphanage then?”
“Oh, god no. They were awful to me. There was only one person that ever liked me, honestly. He helped take care of me and was a mentor for me for a year or two. He moved away afterwards.”
“I’ve done that before. It’s a nice program my dojo had. I wish we would have met earlier then.” Xie Lian turns to look at another, smaller sculpture and misses the disappointed look Hua Cheng gives his back.
The moment passes quickly as Xie Lian almost drops a sketch book he’s holding as his back cramps a little too hard for him to ignore. He feels Hua Cheng go to touch his shoulder but the smallest brush made it hurt more and he skitters away.
“What’s wrong?” Hua Cheng asks. E’Ming drops from his arms and worriedly sits at Xie Lian’s feet.
“Back injury.” Xie Lian grounds out. He tries to turn but his knees buckle with the effort.
Hua Cheng guides him over to a chair in the room, firml holding his elbows until he’s sure Xie Lian isn’t going to faint out of the chair. He lets go but still hovers as he asks, “What can I do to help?”
“A heating pad helps. I don’t have my medication, nothing weaker than my medication helps.”
“Do you want to lay down?”
Xie Lian nods. “I’ll get out of your hair. Thank you for the sheets.”
“Where are you planning to go?”
“Home?”
“Your apartment is half an hour away by train.”
“Yes, I’ll be alright.”
Hua Cheng just stares at him, shaking his head. “If you try to leave my apartment at any point until you’re not in as much pain, I will carry you back.”
“If you touch me right now, I will cry.”
Hua Cheng sighs, gently taking Xie Lian’s elbows to guide him to stand. “You can sit in my room for a second while I get a bath ready for you.”
“No, really, it’s...San Lang.”
“You can sit in there as long as you like and you can borrow some of my clothes when you're done.”
Hua Cheng stops their slow shuffle down the hall and Xie Lian hesitantly looks up. The earnestness he sees makes him feel hot and scared and overwhelmed in so many ways. But he nods slowly, feeling his eyes prickling in ways that have nothing to do with his back.
Hua Cheng hovers a little bit too worriedly as they wait for the bath to fill, helping him into the bathroom and asking if the clothes are good enough. They’re softer than most of Xie Lian’s clothes in his entire wardrobe. Finally, though, after Hua Cheng leaves, he sinks into the bathtub after pointedly ignoring the pain to take his clothes off.
He isn’t sure how long he sits in the tub either. He probably fell asleep at some point because he stirs to the water being more lukewarm than hot. He sighs, sitting up and carefully pulling himself to stand. He almost falls flat on his face as he steps out of the tub but saves himself on the counter. He’s glad because he knows Hua Cheng would rush in to help him at the slightest odd noise.
He struggles back into clothes, drains the tub, and is drying the ends of his hair as he leaves the bathroom. Hua Cheng’s art studio door is open and he’s hunched over his desk, working on a painting. He’s so concentrated that there’s small spots of paint on his face where he scratched or balanced his head as he thought.
Xie Lian watches him work and feels a little too suddenly warmth and fondness towards Hua Cheng. There was a lot of time they spent together the last few weeks but this felt different. More intimate and something he never had before. He saw moments like these with his parents before. When his mother would hand his father tea after work and just stand with him with her own cup. Or when his father would make sure his mother took care of herself before him, even if he was sick. There was love in everything they did, even when it was hard. And he can see, with the small wrinkle in Hua Cheng’s brow and the hunch in his shoulder, Xie Lian feels that same fondness, the same moment and...he won’t call it love but something hangs inside him heavily.
Hua Cheng looks up, smiling gently at Xie Lian. He’s suddenly aware that the sweater doesn’t cover his neck’s scarring but can’t bring himself to care. Hua Cheng doesn’t even flinch or stare at them as he says, “You can use my bed tonight. I already washed the sheets and they’re on there now.”
“How long..?”
“About three hours. I guessed you fell asleep. Gege is tired from working so hard.”
“Really, I can sleep on the couch. This pain might not stop until a few days from now. I’ve dealt with it before. I have to work tomorrow morning so I will be up early.”
“You can’t work like that.”
Xie Lian laughs, smiling ruefully. “I have to. I have too much I need to pay for sadly. My roommate might have not paid for heating so I might have to work overtime to make up for it. The cold makes my back hurt more so I need heating.”
Hua Cheng gives a small hmph, crossing his arms unhappily. He looks like he wants to say something but stays quiet for another moment.
“What is it?”
“Well…” Hua Cheng says, hesitant. “I have three bedrooms in this apartment. I don’t need help paying the bills as I make enough.”
“I...I couldn’t take advantage of you like that.” Xie Lian says in a whisper.
“It’s not taking advantage of me. I would...be helping you. Helping a friend.”
“San Lang…”
“You don’t have to answer now. Think about it. For now, you need to go to bed. I turned the heating off so you could use the heating pad and blankets and not get too hot but if you’re cold, let me know. I have set out some water and there’s more pillows and blankets within easy reach.”
He’s led yet again with the same hovering worry to Hua Cheng’s bed room. There’s nothing to it much like the rest of the house with only basic black furniture. He sits too heavily on the bed and shifts until he can find a comfortable way to lay before trying to get the blanket free. Hua Cheng laughs and lays a blanket on him, handing him the heating pad.
“If you need anything, yell for me.” Hua Cheng says, plugging the pad in and a charger. “You can use an old phone of mine for something to do if you can’t sleep. I have some games on it.”
“San Lang, you’re...this is so much.” Xie Lian says, burying his face into a hand. “I can’t thank you enough. I’m sorry to ruin your Saturday like this.”
“I spent my Saturday with Gege, it’s never a waste.” Hua Cheng props his head on the mattress from where he’s still crouched beside the bed. “But if you still can barely move tomorrow, you’re calling into work.”
Xie Lian sighs. He pushes a strand of hair away from Hua Cheng’s face, letting his hand gently hold Hua Cheng’s face in his exhaustion. “You win. Please don’t let me interrupt your art.”
Hua Cheng smiles, leaning easily into the touch. “You weren’t interrupting. If I’m honest, I was drawing you. “
Xie Lian feels his face grow even hot again. “Why? There are plenty of other things much more interesting and beautiful to draw surely?”
Hua Cheng frowns. “I like drawing Gege.”
“I’m no model.”
“I know. Gege is still beautiful enough for me to draw.”
“Don’t forget to do a self portrait then, San Lang. You could easily beat me in looks.”
Hua cheng’s face blooms a very deep shade of red and he blinks, running out of words to say. He stares for a moment before coughing awkwardly and saying, “Gege is tired. I’ll leave him to sleep.”
“I suppose. Please do not work too hard.”
Hua Cheng smiles, leaving the bedside. He turns the lights off and leaves the door open a crack, letting hall light spill into the room.
Xie Lian considers it lucky that he sleeps for a few hours, off and on. He shifts constantly. Trying to find a position that gives the least pain. He stirs when the door opens and there’s a dip in the bed. E’Ming found his way to Xie Lian and pads around the mattress until he steps confidently onto Xie Lian’s back to try to find a good spot to sleep.
Xie Lian lets out a pained whine, his eyes watering at the sudden touch. E’Ming retreats, pushing around his face. Hua Cheng comes in not a second later.
“Gege?” He calls. He sees E’Ming and sighs. “I’m sorry. I’ll get him away from here.”
“No, I-” Xie Lian starts. He pauses, wondering if it’s inappropriate to ask what he wants.
“Do you need anything?”
“Can you stay with me?”
Hua Cheng hums, picking E’Ming up and dropping him onto the floor. “I fear I would make your pain worse if I slept next to you.”
“I..won’t be able to sleep very well without my medication. I would feel better if you were with me so I wasn’t alone. But you don’t have to if you don’t want. This is your bed so I can move somewhere else for the night or even go home, my back truly isn’t that bad.”
Hua Cheng laughs, sitting gently beside Xie Lian. “I wouldn’t mind, I just fear hurting you.”
“San Lang would never hurt me.”
That gets him to relent. Xie Lian can feel him shift, moving to sit against the headboard, still a comfortable distance. Xie Lian chews on his lip before making up his mind, moving to lay his head on Hua Cheng’s leg, closing his eyes tightly to ignore the look Hua Cheng must surely be giving him.
He doesn’t want to talk about how hard this is and how much he wishes that he could lay more fully on Hua Cheng. He doesn’t want to see anything other than the warm, gentle look Hua Cheng gives him. He just wants to know Hua Cheng is here if he wakes up in a cold sweat, shivering and in pain and hurting in so many more ways than physical.
They don’t say anything else and Xie Lian feels Hua Cheng relaxing under him. The gentle hand on his hair is welcome to focus on and it lulls him to sleep once more. It’s not as fitful but he doesn’t sleep soundly without his medication. He’s come to live with that and is glad that when he wakes up those few times, Hua Cheng has moved to lay beside him instead. Xie Lian can’t help the giddy smile at seeing Hua Cheng so relaxed and soft, his hair a mess around him and his body curled into a small ball around the blankets. He takes Hua Cheng’s hand hesitantly and laughs at the way Hua Cheng lets out a small, happy sigh at the contact, moving his head closer to Xie Lian’s.
Xie Lian woke up naturally, checking the time. He sighs, shifting to sit up before wincing, having to stop to prepare himself to. His back had not gotten better and might have gotten worse over the night, he’s not sure as he’s so used to it by now.
Hua Cheng shifts too, opening his eye blearily.
“Good morning,” Xie Lian says. He almost winces again at how strained he sounds.
It doesn’t go unnoticed. “Go back to sleep.”
“I have to get ready for work.”
“You can’t go in like that. You’ll hurt yourself more.”
Xie Lian laughs, tucking his hair behind his ear. “Maybe. I’ve had quite a while to deal with my pain though. I should be alright. I just need to get home first and take my things.”
Hua Cheng sits up, his hair tousled on one side making him look more childish as he almost pouted. “You should rest for the week instead.”
“God, that’s too long. I need the money. To not work for that long,” Xie Lian can’t help but shake his head disbelievingly. “Thank you for your concern but...I should be alright.”
Hua Cheng sighs, moving off the bed towards the dresser tucked across the room. “Promise me one thing?”
“Of course.”
“If it gets to be too much, come back here if you need to. You shouldn’t push yourself to breaking every day to live.”
Xie Lian feels himself open his mouth to answer but he can’t think of anything to say. Hua Cheng is looking at him, having turned to see him, and the earnestness and concern and..something else. Something more than Xie Lian can look into right now. All he can do is look down numbly, nodding. He’s tired in a bone deep way he hasn’t let himself feel in a long time.
“I’ll need to borrow your phone. I’ll...call work and say I cannot come in today or tomorrow. I might not be at school Monday.”
“You can stay here if you’d like.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“Being with Gege is always a delight. I’d love for you to stay for as long as you need.”
Xie Lian laughs again, sighing. “If I’m staying over, it’s best if I get some clothes and all my medication and maybe let my roommate know I won’t be around for a few days.”
“I can do that for you, if you’d like. You need to rest some more today.”
“You don’t have to do errands for me. I can handle walking around for an hour or two.”
Hua Cheng crosses his arms, pouting again. “Don’t make me sick E’Ming on you.”
E’Ming, at the sound of his name, pokes into the room, happily trotting over to wrap around Xie Lian’s legs, standing on his back legs to put his paws on Xie Lian’s knees.
“See, he wants attention from you. You can’t deny him something like that so early in the morning.”
Xie Lian can’t help smiling, patting his thigh so E’Ming jumps up onto them. “You win. In the clothes I had on yesterday my keys are still in my left pocket. While you’re there, my medication is all in a box by my bed and my clothes are in my closet. Don’t...worry about how little I have in my room, please.”
Hua Cheng nods, picking out some things to wear and disappearing to get dressed. Xie Lian shifts backwards to lay down again and feels E’Ming readjust, crawling to push his head between Xie Lian’s arm, squishing his head onto his hip.
He knows he fell asleep completely again because he’s next woken up by somebody brushing hair away from his face and pulling the blanket up around him more. He blinks awake and sees Hua Cheng bent over him and can’t help but smile happily.
“San Lang, you’re back.”
“I am, I have everything you’ll need. I don’t think your room mate appreciated me coming through though. I think I scared him.”
“He might’ve been high and/or drunk from yesterday night still.”
Hua Cheng snorts, placing something on the table. “I have all your pills and you can take them when you like. If you want anything to eat, I can make you something now or later.”
“Mm, later. Can you come sit with me again? Tired.”
Xie Lian shifts, taking the multiple bottles and throwing all of the pills into his hand haphazardly. He takes them and then immediately curls back into his blankets. Hua Cheng laughs softly, taking his jacket off and sitting against the headboard. He has one of his sketchbooks and a small bag of coloured pencils and charcoal and other things Xie Lian isn’t sure about.
“What time is it?” Xie Lian asks sleepily.
“Around seven.”
“I haven’t slept this late in a very long time.”
“You can keep sleeping if you’d like.”
Xie Lian hums, catching some of Hua Cheng’s shirt in his hand. “Wake me up around nine so we can eat.”
The next few hours are something Xie Lian isn’t completely aware of. He’s sure he was awake for some of it because he ate at some point. But really, he would stir momentarily before shifting again into a better, less painful position, and go back to bed. With his medication, he slept much better and more deeply so he woke up fully near mid day with drool crusted on his chin and his hair felt a little too matted.
Hua Cheng laughed about it, saying he looked cute, he promises. After watching Xie Lian struggle to comb it, Hua Cheng brushed his hair for him, putting a small half french braid into his hair.
They make dinner together that night and Xie Lian isn’t sure he’s laughed this much in a very long time. He wonders if he’s been this happy before as he laughs more and smiles genuinely.
When they watch a drama together, Hua Cheng falls asleep against Xie Lian and E’Ming also takes to sitting on Xie Lian’s lap like it's his spot now. He loves their small little bubble the three made and almost hates he has to leave it soon to go home. He feels a pang thinking about Ruoye again lingering as he sees the two.
He would love to stay like this but he doesn’t want to push his luck. It’s never good for long.
He still has the sweater he wore the entire time he was there as he didn’t have one and was cold. Hua Cheng didn’t say anything so Xie Lian, after realizing he took it home, laughS to himself. He can wear it one more day tomorrow before admitting to taking it, he thinks.
So, Tuesday morning, when he walks into the library to help Pei Ming with any school work he might not be able to figure out, he realizes it might’ve been a mistake. Pei Ming immediately realizes whose sweater it is and is relentless with him.
“So neither of you were here yesterday and you show up with his sweater today?” Pei Ming says, steepling his hands and balancing his chin on them like Xie Lian’s answer is the most interesting thing in the world.
He can’t help but sigh tiredly. “If you must know, I have an old injury from a match that affects my nerve endings in my spine. I have immense pain some days. Hua Cheng helped take care of me.”
“That still sounds romantic to me.”
“And you wouldn’t know romance if it hit you, Pei Ming.” Qingxuan says behind Xie Lian.
“Qingxuan?” Xie Lian asks, turning in confusion. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I have something important for you to hear. But I would much rather say it away from Pei Ming.”
“Work on the next few questions and mark down what you don’t understand.” Xie Lian instructs, pointing to the questions on the page. He gets up and is easily dragged away down the hall.
“Do you really help him for free?” Qingxuan asks, annoyed.
“Yes, he says he owes me one and that he will take me partying when the semester is over. I just do it because I am quite good at chemistry still so it’s no bother.”
“He’s enough of a bother I’d refuse on principle.”
Xie Lian laughs a little and they stop in an empty hallway. Qingxuan turns to him excitedly, grabbing his hands happily.
“So, tell me why when A-Xuan went over yesterday you were sleeping in Hua Cheng’s bed?”
“Oh, please,” Xie Lian says helplessly. “You know of my back injury, correct?”
“Back injury? Is this the one that happened at your last match-?”
“Yes, that’s the one. I have broken nerve endings along my spine. I was with Hua Cheng Saturday when it acted up and I had trouble moving. He helped take care of me during it.”
Qingxuan frowns, deflating. “Boo, I was hoping you two got together. When we had that date together, you and him made puppy eyes at each other so I thought…”
“He didn’t make puppy eyes at me.”
Qingxuan lets out a loud laugh. “You’re so dense with romance, I swear! Last time with Jun Wu-”
Xie Lian stiffens, his amused smile faltering at the mention of Jun Wu. He doesn’t like to think of him, if he’s honest. She notices the slip immediately, moving to grab his hands again.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Xie Lian takes a deep breath, nodding. “I know what you meant to say. Please let He Xuan know that I’m not sleeping with San Lang and to please not spread any rumours.”
“Not sleeping with him yet! ”
“Qingxuan!”
“What! I see how you look at him. I’m going to make it my dying wish to get you two together so help me.”
“Please, don’t die.”
“I won’t, I won’t. Now, there’s a party this weekend and we should all go together, all four of us. If I pretty you up, let’s see how things go!”
“I can’t, I’m working that morning and night.”
Qingxuan sighs dramatically. “ Fine, I’ll just have to convince you he likes you some other way.”
“If he can give me my dog back, I might really believe it.”
Hua Cheng turns the corner, catching Qingxuan’s eyes behind Xie Lian then. She gives a determined look to Xie Lian, nodding. “Got it, so if he finds your old dog, you will consider asking him out?”
“I’d do more than that but-no! That’s embarrassing, I would never do anything he’s uncomfortable with. I would simply tell him how I feel.” Xie Lian says, laughing. He goes to turn but Qingxuan keeps him in place, looking over his shoulder at Hua Cheng.
“Do you work tonight?” She asks.
“I do, yes. I work from 3 till 11.”
“When’s your next day off?”
“Next week. I had to call in two days so they asked me to pick up an extra shift on Friday when I was supposed to be off next.”
“We should do something that day. Text me!”
“I don’t have a phone.” Xie Lian says, confused.
“Ugh, I forgot. Just a second.” Qingxuan ruffles through her bag until there’s a small flip phone in her hand. She pushes it into Xie Lian’s. “Here! I got this as a spare in case I lost mine and needed it for emergencies! I’ll give you my number and you can call me when you’re free!”
“I can’t-Phones are expensive, I can’t take yours!”
“Sure you can! I’ll see you later!”
Qingxuan runs off, happily fiddling with a lanyard with her keys on it as she turns the corner and makes meaningful eye contact with Hua Cheng. He’s amused, leaning against the wall but his hands are shaking where they’re carefully folding into his arms.
“I know where Ruoye is. I’ll tell you where to get him later.” Qingxuan whispers as she flits past.
Hua Cheng angles his head, smirking in his own way that shows off just how pleased he is. Qingxuan beams before hurrying on, not wanting to have Xie Lian catch them.
The next two days, Hua Cheng doesn’t show up at school as he is determined to get Xie Lian his dog back. Xie Lian is not disappointed he isn’t in class, he absolutely is not. And he doesn’t brighten the minute Qingxuan calls him with Hua Cheng’s phone number. He also most certainly does not call Hua Cheng immediately after hanging up with Qingxuan.
“Hello,” Hua Cheng says flatly.
“San Lang?” Xie Lian says, doubting calling already. “Sorry, this is Xie Lian. Is this a bad time?”
“Gege! No, it’s not. I didn’t know you had a phone.”
“Qingxuan forced one on me because she wanted to be able to call me.”
“I’m glad. Now I can call Gege whenever I want.”
Xie Lian laughs turning around as he starts pacing the hall. “You could, yes.”
“What do I owe such a grand occasion for Gege to call me, then?”
“Well, I was...worried because you weren’t in class yesterday and today.”
“I’m sorry I worried you, Gege. I have to finish my commission soon and decided to skip classes as I’m finished all my work for the week.”
“I’m glad you were able to get things done then. Have you been eating well?”
Hua Cheng feels himself melt at that, smiling into the phone giddily. “I have, I promise. Did you just call to check on me, then?”
“Well, yes. I don’t want to distract you from your work.”
“Gege is never a distraction.”
“San Lang...” Xie Lian says fondly.
They talk for close to an hour before Xie Lian accidentally falls asleep and they’re forced to hang up when he jerks awake a moment later.
“I don’t know how you sleep with only blankets.” Hua Cheng mutters.
Xie Lian shrugs before forgetting they’re on the phone. “I wish I didn’t have to, personally. You get used to it eventually.”
“Have you thought about moving in with me more?” Hua Cheng asks tentatively.
“I...have. I would love to but I would have to help you pay for something in bills.”
Hua Cheng hums before brightening. “Gege could cook for me whenever he is free to and help me take care of E’Ming.”
“San Lang, that’s not what I meant.”
“I don’t need Gege’s help with bills. I would be happy to live with you regardless.”
“Okay, I will. My lease isn’t up for another four months though.”
“I’ll just have to have you over more so you can sleep on an actual mattress. It can’t be good for your back.”
“Maybe not.” Xie Lian tries to stifle a yawn but Hua Cheng snickers.
“Gege is tired. I’ll let him go so he can sleep. I’m happy to have Gege over again whenever he’s free.”
“I don’t know when that will be. I’m waiting on the schedule still for next week.”
“Let me know and we’ll make a day of it.”
Xie Lian feels giddy as he hangs up and can’t help but smile at the ceiling happily. He barely gets any sleep that night after waking up on the phone but he can live with it. He’s happy to have a way to talk to Hua Cheng whenever he wishes. He just hopes that he’s in class so he can see him before the weekend. He has to work all day both days and wishes to have time with a friend before that.
As always, his luck is never on his side. Hua Cheng is gone from class for the third day in a row. He can’t help sighing to himself but carrying on.
It helps that Hua Cheng somehow times when Xie Lian is off perfectly and calls him every night all weekend. He isn’t even sure he mentioned when he’s working till to Hua Cheng. He doesn’t care though as he’s happy hearing Hua Cheng call him Gege as he walks home so late at night.
It leads to them talking about anything and Xie Lian shares some stories about his old friends and him. It leaves him sad and Hua Cheng picks up on it.
“What’s wrong, Gege?” he asks.
“It’s nothing. I just miss Mu Qing and Feng Xin is all. I won’t bore you with the details of my life.”
“If Gege wishes to share, I’d love to listen.”
Xie Lian sighs, pushing the phone between his shoulder and face as he digs for his keys to unlock his door. “Well, you know about my history of Martial Arts. I quit in my second year of college because I got a bad back injury. I didn’t get the injury in a match like a lot of people think, though.”
Hua Cheng doesn’t say anything as Xie Lian talks and he finds himself spilling the entire story to Hua Cheng as he sits in his room. He stinks of cleaner. He needs a shower but will have to wait until morning when he can sneak one at the nearby 24 hour gym. He still has food all over his hands from washing the remaining dishes before closing to help the kitchen but he doesn’t care. Hua Cheng opened a small flood gate and he can’t help talking until he’s done.
“I...I killed somebody because of the match...the ref wasn’t paying attention at all and I got a really bad hit in. I accidentally dislocated something in his airways so he started choking but he didn’t go down. He kept trying to fight and I had to keep blocking hits but it made it worse. People were trying to signal to the ref but he just...wouldn’t call the match. Because of the delay in medical attention he...Well, his friends didn’t like that too much and I can’t say I would blame them.
“The next tournament they all got beat by me still...I didn’t know they were his friends because it was a different group entirely. They cornered me and started hitting on me, telling me how awful I was for what I did. I couldn’t fit back. How could I?
“Afterwards they...pushed me out a second storey window. I hit a railing on the fire escape on my way down that fractured a vertebrae and a piece went into my nerves and messed them up. It’s why I have so much pain still. I didn’t realize what they were doing until I was half way out of the window. I couldn’t grab anything in time.”
Xie Lian can’t help but laugh at himself, pushing hair out of his face as he says, “Mu Qing was a part of the group that cornered me because he recently switched teams to try and win against me. I tried to get him to help me but he just wouldn’t, just acted like nothing was happening. I can’t be mad though because...his family talked to me afterwards. They said they knew I tried to stop the fight. But...Sorry, I’ve been thinking about what’s been happening lately because of how it’s close to...when I first got hurt.”
“First?”
“It wasn’t a good time for me. My parents went bankrupt, I got hurt, then lost my best friends then...I lost my parents. They were killed in a car accident. I was in so much pain already and I wanted to go with them.”
There’s a stunned silence and Xie Lian uses it to move away from the phone for something to wipe his eyes with. His shirt has food and bleach all over it like his hands.
“And your friends left you during this?” Hua Cheng sounds horrified and angry when he does speak. Xie Lian isn’t sure what there is to be angry about if he’s honest.
“It was a while ago. I can’t blame them as I was...a nightmare to be around, I can admit that easily. I’m lucky because I survived from Ruoye. He was a service animal to me, not just a pet.”
“Why did you give up something so vital?”
“Well, I became homeless. I couldn’t...even feed myself. I couldn’t handle seeing Ruoye getting so skinny. So I gave him to Feng Xin to adopt out. That was the last time we really talked, I think. He had a girlfriend who had just miscarried really far into the pregnancy so he was dealing with too much, I think he was glad to have Ruoye for a little.”
“Gege…”
“I’m sorry. I’m dumping all this on you. I should have asked first.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m glad Gege trusts me with this much information. I like hearing what you have to say, the good, bad, all of it.”
“I wanted to ask how your day was though.”
“Well, if you must know, my day was very bad.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Why?”
“I haven’t gotten to see Gege for a whole five days now.”
Xie Lian smiles, wiping at his eyes again. “San Lang is silly. Will you be in class tomorrow?”
Hua Cheng sighs woundedly. “No, I still need to crunch to get the sculpture done. Are you off any time soon?”
“Yes, Tuesday and Wednesday I was given off. I was hoping to catch up on some of my work but if you need, I can help you with stances you weren’t getting last time.”
“Can you meet me at my place after school instead? You can use my place to work.”
“Thank you, of course I can. Should I bring something to eat for us?”
“Gege shouldn’t worry about that. I’ll cook for you.”
Xie Lian sighs. “San Lang is always cooking for me and getting me food. When will I be able to pay him back?”
“In about four months. So Tuesday after class at my place.”
“Alright, I’ll talk to you tomorrow night?”
“Yes, I’ll call when you’re off so as not to disturb you on your break.”
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng hang up and the residual silence for both are overwhelming.
Thankfully, Tuesday comes fast for Xie Lian. He feels giddy as he packs his bag at the end of the day. He gets a couple odd glances but he doesn’t pay attention to them as he rushes out of the classroom. Pei Ming is outside and looks up frantically.
“Xie Lian, do you have a minute? I need to ask something.”
Xie Lian pauses, slowing down to let Pei Ming fall into step with him. “What is it?”
“Can you help me with a project? It’s due at midnight and I just realized I didn’t do anything about it.”
Xie Lian closes his eyes, sighing through his nose. “Why did you not do it sooner?”
“Well, you see, this chick in the year below us came over and she’s like, really hot. So I’ve been distracted all weekend.”
“That seems like your fault.”
“Please, I’ll owe you big time. I’ll get you a perfect date for you and Hua Cheng.”
“No, no, it’s…” Xie Lian rubs his forehead, sighing again. “I’m meeting him at his apartment soon. Let me call him and tell him I’ll be later than expected.”
Pei Ming pulls Xie Lian against his side in a bone crushing hug before letting go and rummaging through his bag for the books he needed.
Hua Cheng picks up on the first ring with a confused, “Gege?”
“San Lang, I’m sorry but...something came up. I’m going to be later than expected.”
“Why?”
“Pei Ming put off a project and I have to help him with it. I think it might be a lab report. Those don’t take long, just an hour or two.”
“Can he not do it on his own?”
“No, I’ve helped him with them before. It could be something more in depth too. He was very frantic.”
“That sounds like his problem.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian sighs yet again.
“If Gege is going to help, at least let me know where you’ll be?”
“I’ll be at the library on campus for a few hours. I’ll come over after I’m done.”
Xie Lian hangs up a moment later, feeling annoyed with Pei Ming. He ignores the feeling and walks to the library with the other, picking their usual table together.
“This is a research paper, Pei Ming,” Xie Lian says incredulously after seeing everything that needed to be done.
“I only need the rough draft by midnight. It shouldn’t be too bad, right?”
Xie Lian rubs his forehead again, shaking his head. “Alright. What’s your topic.”
Pei Ming hands over the sheets needed to Xie Lian, who looks over what needs to be done. They start working, Xie Lian easing into the research portion when somebody walks over to their table.
Xie Lian looks up, blinks, then snorts. “Ling Wen, why are you here?”
“I’m doing a favour for Hua Cheng.” She says, pulling out the chair beside Pei Ming. “I told you not to call her back, idiot.”
Pei Ming shrugs, winking. “I still have her number if you want it.”
Ling Wen rolls her eyes. “You can get out of here, Xie Lian. Hua Cheng was very insistent that I help instead of you.”
“Why?” Xie Lian can’t help but ask.
Ling Wen doesn’t answer, just shrugging.
Pei Ming shrugs with her. “Go to your prince, Xie Lian.”
“We aren’t dating,” Xie Lian says, getting up and repacking his bag.
“Yet,” Ling Wen says under her breath.
Xie Lian doesn’t answer, leaving for Hua Cheng’s apartment. He almost wonders if he should bring dinner because he’s late. But the thought of him bringing food and Hua Cheng already in the process of making something stops him.
He waits at the doors to be let in after walking. Hua Cheng meets him.
“Hello, Gege,” he says brightly, holding the door for him.
“San Lang, you’re covered in fur. What sculpture were you working on?” Xie Lian asks incredulously. He reaches up and picks a small tuft out of Hua Cheng’s hair, smoothing the hair back after.
“It’s a secret.”
Xie Lian laughs, following Hua Cheng up the stairs. He can hear barking and furrows his brows. “Did one of your neighbours get a dog recently?”
“Something like that.”
They get to his apartment and his confusion is more and more apparent. He doesn’t get to ask as Hua Cheng opens the door. Before he can even step inside, Xie Lian has a ball of white fur launching at him. He’s knocked to the ground, his back not appreciating that gesture. He gives a pained grunt but can barely think at the dog licking him frantically.
“Hello, baby, yes hello!” Xie Lian says, trying to get the wriggling mass off him. Only when he’s able to pull back does he finally see it and he pauses, his eyes welling with tears. He looks up at Hua Cheng in shock. “San Lang, you didn’t find Ruoye…”
“Feng Xin kept him for you.” Hua Cheng says, leaning against the door frame. “Qingxuan messaged me saying where to go get him.”
Xie Lian can’t help but sob, holding Ruoye close to him as Ruoye whines, leaning into him and kissing wherever he can on Xie Lian’s face.
“Thank you, thank you, I missed you so much.” Xie Lian is saying. It takes everything in him to get Ruoye off of him and to usher him inside and out of the hallway.
The minute the door closes he can’t look or turn around as he says, clutching the door handle, “I...told Qingxuan something when I mentioned Ruoye. I...She said that you...liked me and she would find a way to prove to me you did.”
Xie Lian turns but Hua Cheng’s back is to him, stiff and his head bowed. “Do you think I like you?”
“I do.”
Hua Cheng breathes out. There’s a beat of silence between them and it’s unbearable.
“Do you not want to hear what I have to say?” Xie Lian asks, his heart feeling brittle.
“I would rather not know.”
Xie Lian sniffs, shaking his head. A gesture Hua Cheng can’t see. He looks resigned, like he’s about to step to his death. He can’t handle seeing Hua Cheng like this. He steps to him and wraps his arms tightly around Hua Cheng.
“Nobody around me has ever been so thoughtful, kind, caring, wonderful...I haven’t had somebody love me for me in a very long time. When I’m with you, I really do wonder if it’s always been this easy to be happy and I realize I can only be this happy with you.”
Hua Cheng’s breath hitches and he turns in Xie Lian’s grasp, holding him just as hard. “Gege deserves it.”
“I never thought you would actually find Ruoye.”
“I apologize. The last few days I’ve been traveling to get Ruoye from Feng Xin. I lied to Gege about it saying I was working. I actually had to ask Pei Ming to hold you back a few hours because of it. You said he was a service animal and...I couldn’t stand the thought of you needing something and I wasn’t there and-”
Xie Lian laughs, looking up and bringing his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s face. He stands on his tip toes and kisses him hard to try and convey everything he needs to and can’t say out loud. He knows this is more than just a crush, he knows this is the start of something and he’s so happy to know it’s theirs.
“San Lang, my sweet man. There’s nothing for you to apologize about. I couldn’t be happier to know you went to such troubles and kept it a secret to surprise me.”
Hua Cheng smiles, melting into Xie Lian’s touch, kissing him and saying against his lips, “I’m just glad that Pei Ming owes you because if he plans a date for us, I think it will be a good evening.”
“Pei Ming knows nothing about romance.”
“I think he’s good at a couple things.” Hua Cheng smiles, kissing Xie Lian again. “Also I think E’Ming missed you because he kept yowling at the door when I would come home without you.”
Xie Lian snorts, pulling back to see E’Ming and Ruoye both sitting expectantly on the couch. He takes Hua Cheng’s hand in his and pulls him to the couch, the two falling onto it. Xie Lian climbs into Hua Cheng’s lap easily, laying his head against Hua Cheng’s neck. E’Ming plants himself firmly in Xie Lian’s lap while Ruoye excitedly lays his head on Xie Lian’s feet stretched out, sighing as his tail thumps happily against the pillows.
It’s a small picture that Xie Lian wishes he could never leave and he hopes he never has to.