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The bell tower chimes and Tree jolts awake. She sits up, frantically looking around the room and at herself, but she's not wearing a band shirt and she doesn't see Carter anywhere. It isn't even Carter's dorm. She's back at her sorority house, though thankfully a different room than the one she shared with Lori. They'd all voted to leave that room vacant a while longer. She's not sure how long they can actually enforce it, but either way she plans on never sleeping in there again.
Forcing herself to take a deep breath, Tree slowly eases herself back until she can lean against her headboard. Her head is already pounding. She can't remember if it's where she was stabbed or hit with the baseball bat. There were so many deaths, so many ways and she wasn't keeping track of them all. Even though it's been months, she still feels them. Not all the time, but often enough that she can't pretend like it was all just a bad dream.
Her phone rings. It's Carter's ringtone and she smiles through the wince she makes at the sound.
"Hey," she says, putting the phone on speaker. Holding it up to her ear will be too much with the way her head is feeling.
"Hey." His smile comes through so clearly with one word. She can picture it in her mind; the way his nose is probably scrunched and his teeth are showing. "Are you okay?"
She doesn't know how he can always tell when she's having an off day. If he was looking at her, sure, but she's only said one word and he can tell. It makes it hard to keep it to herself when they talk nearly every day. But Tree likes it, too. That there's someone out there who knows her so well that it doesn't take more than one word to notice she isn't okay.
"Yes and no," she says, curling up and hugging her pillow.
"Your head?" he asks, speaking softer. It doesn't really help, only makes the phone crackle a little more, but she appreciates the gesture.
"Yeah. Hurts today." Her stomach is sore, too. Sitting up so fast didn't do her any favors. But months later and she still can't help the knee-jerk reaction to hearing the school's bells. It's easing off, doesn't happen everyday like it did the first couple of weeks. But there are still mornings where her heart races before she's even awake enough to remember why.
"Do you need anything?"
She smiles into her pillow. "Can I come over?"
It would be easier if he could come to her, but sorority rules, blah blah, no boys allowed past the first floor, blah blah. The girls were incredibly lenient and looked the other way for a couple of weeks after everything with Lori. Eventually, though, things had to go back to normal. Tree isn't sure about being in a sorority anymore, but until she is sure she doesn't want to burn any bridges.
"Sure, I'll kick Ryan out," he says with a laugh. She loves the sound of his laugh. "Want me to walk with you?"
Yes, but, "No, you're already over there. You don't need to waste the time."
"It wouldn't be a waste if it means getting to spend a little more time with you."
"Shut up." Tree buries her face in her pillow, feeling warm all over. "You can't just say things like that."
"Why not when they make you blush?"
"You can't see me, you don't know I'm blushing."
He laughs again and there's a shuffling sound like he's shaking his head. "You're totally blushing."
"Maybe, whatever. I'll be over in a bit," she says in a rush. "Byeee."
He's still laughing his way through a goodbye when she hangs up. She's in love with such a dork.
Tree doesn't take her sunglasses off until she's in the hallway leading to Carter's room. The light was too bright outside to handle without them. It's too bright inside, too, but she doesn't want him to worry about her any more than he already will. She can deal with it. She has been for months.
She knocks with a quick, "It's me," before opening the door. Carter stands, already smiling when she walks in.
"Hey," he says softly. She closes the door and leans against it when Carter walks up to her. He brushes his fingers through her hair. It's a familiar move, always done with gentle care for the pain he knows she's dealing with. Her chest aches, but it's the good kind of ache. Carter doesn't even remember those Mondays, but he's always believed her. It doesn't matter that when the last Monday became a Tuesday, he hadn't done as much as so many of the others. He always helped.
She doesn't know what he sees in her sometimes. But she loves him too much, wants him too much to do anything but accept it.
"Hi." She smiles up at him and her eyes barely hurt at all. The room is dark, with only some light coming through behind the blinds in the window. "I missed you."
He cups her face in his hand. He's so warm. She closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling and smiling into the kiss he gives her. "Missed you, too," he whispers against her lips before pulling away.
She grins, covering his hand with hers and turning to press a gentle kiss to his palm. "Thank you."
He looks around the room, and shrugs. "Whatever you need," he says and she can't help but pull him in for another kiss. Her head and stomach still hurt, but just being around him makes it easier to ignore.
"What if I need...cuddles?"
"That," he says, holding her arms and walking backwards towards his bed, "is what I was hoping you would say."
They tumble into bed together. It takes some moving around, but soon enough Carter is on his back and Tree is curled into his side, her head on his chest. She closes her eyes, listening to the beat of his heart. "This is perfect," she tells him, kissing his chest and rubbing her cheek against him. His shirt is soft—on purpose, she's sure—and feels almost as good on her cheek as his hand did.
"It is," he says into her hair. His breath tickles, but not enough to move. Tree is sure she never wants to move again.