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Hinata Shouyou is a boy, but he likes cute things. He's always liked cute things, kittens and bears and those miniature furnitures that old ladies sometimes collect. It's not something he's obsessed with, by any means, but he can appreciate a good cute thing when he sees it.
He thinks maybe that's why he's drawn to Kageyama.
Kageyama Tobio is, in no way, what Hinata would consider cute, normally. The first time they meet, he is terrifying and irritating all at once, his face is awful and his personality is worse. He stays like that the second time they meet, getting on Hinata's nerve in all the wrong places. And then Hinata hits his toss for the first time, opens his eyes after soaring in the air, and the look on Kageyama's face is one that he still hasn't been able to forget.
That's the start of it all, their friendship and this other thing that Hinata carries with him. They spend more time together, more and more, and Hinata starts to get to know him better. Suddenly, Kageyama's starting to become less of this imposing wall, this cloud of bad energy, and more of something that fills Hinata's chest with warmth when he thinks about him.
It's small things, really, that stick with Hinata. The day he's running late on his way out of the house and sees Kageyama, alone, by the school gates, trying to pet a cat. He stops running, waits to see if Kageyama has spotted him, slows when he hasn't. The cat shies away and hisses at Kageyama's outstretched hand, and the crestfallen scowl on his face has one word come to the front of Hinata's mind: cute.
He learns that Kageyama likes animals. He really likes animals, but they don't like him. It's no wonder, with that face he has and that irritated aura he surrounds himself with. The first time Hinata brings up a kitten he's found in the park, insists Kageyama pet it while Hinata scratches its chin and sends all his positive energy to combat Kageyama's own, he gets to see Kageyama's face soften and watches him gingerly pat its head, like he's going to break it. The scowl returns immediately, Kageyama shoving his hand into his pocket and saying they should go, but Hinata sees the way he watches the kitten scurry off before they leave.
Kageyama is a fan of milk boxes, which is something Hinata's never quite been able to wrap his hand around. He'll carry this tiny box in his big hand, sipping at the straw with this bored look on his face, and it's...well, it's kind of adorable. Hinata resists it at first, but really, what's cuter than a drink in a box? There's a childish giraffe drawn on the front, and seeing Kageyama, big shoulders hunched at a table, sipping at that stupid box of milk, makes Hinata curl his fingers in his sleeves and resists the urge to tackle him from behind.
There's the way Kageyama always makes room for him when he's sitting, saves a spot on the bus and acts like he wasn't, or the way Kageyama shifts over when they share a bed so Hinata has enough room after grumbling that he's barely going to get any sleep because Hinata's so clingy. And he is, Hinata's a clinger, he always has been, according to his mom; despite this, he wakes up to find Kageyama accommodating whatever weird position they're in, face soft with sleep and lashes long against his cheeks. Even the way his hair falls against his forehead is kind of cute.
Hinata is very perturbed at first. He absolutely should not find Kageyama cute. When he hears his first name, even, Tobio, he thinks there's no way someone like this could fit such a cute-sounding name. Kageyama's tall, rigid, harsh...but he's also kind of like a baby sometimes, the way he sulks and pretends he's not. And, despite his height, Hinata finds himself looking at Kageyama the way he chews on his pen while he's doing homework, and thinking the impossible.
He's started to accept it, because it's okay for him to find someone cute. It's not like Kageyama ever has to know that Hinata watches him, sometimes, when he's toweling his hair dry, or when he's folding his washed practice clothes neatly and leaving the rest of his clothes tossed about his room. He takes utmost care of his volleyball uniform, and couldn't care less about the school one.
It's really not weird, not at all, Hinata tells himself.
Xxx
It's kind of weird. Hinata is curled up in Kageyama's bed, snug next to him, leeching his ridiculous body heat and watching him sleep. He feels that warm fuzz in his stomach that he gets when he looks at kittens or really small animals, which is ridiculous because even with his knees bent, Kageyama looks big. He's not like a small animal at all, except for the sleek hair fanned on the pillow beneath him.
He's watched Kageyama sleep before, but this time it feels different. Hinata's eyes keep flickering to Kageyama's mouth, the way it's slightly open and pink and he's chewing at his own lip as he watches Kageyama breathe deeply.
Hinata hash never wanted to kiss anyone before. He's found some girls cute, but only in passing. His mother has said he's a late bloomer, that he just needs to find the right girl, but he's suddenly thinking what if it's not a girl? What if it's Kageyama? He could kiss him right now, he thinks, tilt his head forward just a little bit. He probably wouldn't even wake up.
Would that be dishonest?
Kageyama's a heavy sleeper, and Hinata knows he could get away with it, probably. He's so close, right there. Kageyama never, ever has to know. This is the only time Hinata will probably get to try something like this. He's weighing the pros and cons in his head and then he realizes he doesn't care, he wants to kiss him, and he's going to do it before he chickens out.
This is Hinata's first kiss, but he isn't sure it really counts, because Kageyama is asleep. His lips are soft and warm against Hinata's, maybe a little chapped because he doesn't take care of them at all (not like Hinata does, either). When Hinata pulls back, he feels warm and kind of dizzy, and before he can really stop himself, he's doing it again, dipping forward and sliding their lips together.
That's when Kageyama makes a noise. It's small, sort of content, and it makes Hinata's heart lurch in his chest both from surprise, guilt, and the fact that Kageyama is really, really cute. He thinks Kageyama's just shifting in his sleep, maybe, because he makes weird, kitten-like noises sometimes. And then his eyes are sliding open, half-lidded, still partially asleep.
Hinata stares.
He's expecting Kageyama to punch him, to kick him out of bed or something. At the very least, Kageyama's eyes should narrow, he should sit up and demand to know what the hell Hinata thinks he's doing.
He doesn't. What Kageyama does is slid his warm, heavy hand up to Hinata's cheek, pull him forward and place their lips together, soft and short, before his eyes slide closed again and his hand goes slack and arm slides back down to drape around Hinata's shoulders.
Slowly, when it's clear that Kageyama is sleeping, Hinata relaxes. He feels like his heart is going to slam out of his chest; he's guessing Kageyama had still been asleep, so he's okay, he's in the clear, and he is never, ever going to do that again, ever.
Xxx
They go to school together like normal, the way they always do when Kageyama stays over during a school night. He's not saying anything about the kiss, and Hinata's starting to think he's okay, Kageyama had been sleeping; maybe he thought it was part of a weird dream (does he dream about Hinata?).
By practice, Hinata's starting to relax. He's able to play normally, and he's starting to forget the terror of finding Kageyama's eyes focused on his and the way Kageyama's lips had felt on his own. He's back to absently watching the curve of Kageyama's back when he bends, like he's still not used to being taller than most people on their team, thinking it's kind of cute. These thoughts, he can deal with. He doesn't have to think about kissing him, now that he knows what it's like. Everything is normal, he'd gotten that out of his system, he's fine.
He is not fine.
The whole day, whenever he catches Kageyama's eye, all he can think about is Kageyama's parted lips, his soft breathing, the way his body feels next to Hinata's, curled up in bed. And it seems like he's meeting Kageyama's eyes more than usual, somehow, although maybe it's just his imagination. He repeats that over and over in his head, it's just his imagination, just his imagination, just his imagination.
And, somehow, which also must be his imagination, Kageyama seems to be even cuter than usual. When they meet eyes, his cheeks look pink-tinged, he licks his lips and glances away. Hinata finds himself licking his lips, too, subconsciously, and then he thinks where those lips have been and maybe his cheeks get a bit pink, too. But Kageyama doesn't know, of course, so he couldn't be thinking of what Hinata's thinking of.
And then it happens. They're sitting, side-by-side, like always, and Hinata's talking about something he'd seen Nishinoya do during practice, waving his arms and ignoring the way he sometimes accidentally hits Kageyama because it's his fault for sitting so close. Suddenly annoyed the third time Hinata accidentally elbows him in the ribs, Kageyama's arm shoots forward and grabs Hinata's.
This in itself is not abnormal. They touch casually like this often, especially when Hinata gets too animated. What isn't normal is the way Kageyama's arm slides down, stops at Hinata's hand, the way his fingers lace between Hinata's own.
Kageyama is holding his hand, and Hinata doesn't know what to do about it.
He goes on eating like normal, taking a bite of bread while Hinata stares at his legs, trying not to show that he's scared out of his mind. Why is Kageyama holding his hand? It's not unpleasant, and Hinata wouldn't mind if it weren't so weird for Kageyama to be doing this. It's not even the hand-holding, it's the way their fingers are casually laced together and Kageyama doesn't seem to see anything wrong with this, aside from the color on the tips of his ears that Hinata wouldn't notice if he hadn't spent so much time studying him (not in a weird way, of course).
It's actually kind of nice, the way Kageyama's hand is big and warm in his own, but Hinata can't enjoy it because his mind is busy racing. Maybe Kageyama is torturing him for stealing a kiss last night. Maybe he's trying to see how long this takes to bother Hinata, which is more likely than Kageyama holding his hand just because. Two can play at that game, Hinata tells himself, stubborn, tightens his fingers around Kageyama's and stays that way. And Kageyama tightens his fingers in return, and the word “cute” flashes through Hinata's mind again before he scowls and shoves a cookie into his mouth to put his mind on something else. Kageyama's not cute, the way he's trying to unwrap another pack of bread with one hand and his teeth; he could just let go, release Hinata's hand, but he just keeps tearing at the packet, nose crinkling.
They don't let go until they have to part for class, and Hinata's satisfied to see Kageyama's the one who releases hands first. He thinks he's won, is about to pat himself on the back, when Kageyama's suddenly looming in front of him, and he flinches back. Is he mad about Hinata having played along? He opens his mouth to ask Kageyama if he wants to fight or something.
The feeling of lips pressed against his own is enough to shut Hinata up. He can't even ask what the hell that was, because Kageyama's turning and walk-running off down the hall towards his own class, not even looking behind him. Hinata's cheeks are on fire, and he sees several students staring at him, to which he frantically yells “What are you looking at?!” before stalking off to his own class.
He spends class thinking about the way Kageyama smells and the heat from his face when he's that close. He keeps thinking about it, getting berated in class twice for not paying attention. He thinks about the way Kageyama's hand looks when his their fingers are laced, clutching tight like he's nervous, which of course he can't be, because he's Kageyama.
Hinata is still thinking about it during practice, turning it over and over in his head, but the glare Kageyama fixes him with has him feeling like maybe things are back to normal. Maybe that had just been a weird prank Kageyama was pulling, and he's giving up after seeing Hinata isn't that phased. He calls him a dumbass and an idiot at least ten times, peppered with other criticisms, and Hinata honestly has never felt so happy to hear Kageyama being Kageyama.
They get all the way to where they part ways to walk home without incident, Hinata slowly starting to relax and laugh it off internally as just a weird thing, and then it happens again.
Kageyama's tugging at Hinata's sleeve, and when Hinata turns and sees the way he looks out of the corner of his eye, cheeks pink, like a kid, he has long enough to think “cute” again before Kageyama's kissing him again, and then he's taking off down the road at a sprint.
Hinata has no idea what the hell is going on. Kageyama holds his hand, kisses him in public, kisses him again and then runs away. If he's trying to get back at Hinata, he's doing a really shitty job, because he seems just about as embarrassed as Hinata feels. This is stupid, he tells himself, and he has to get to the bottom of this.
Tomorrow, he tells himself, because he doesn't feel like running after Kageyama when it's like the wind has been knocked out of him and he can still feel that stupid kiss that Kageyama seems to refuse to let him forget.
Xxx
Kageyama is getting weirder and weirder, and he was already pretty weird to begin with. He still hasn't been able to bring up the kiss thing, because now he's distracted with even more; Kageyama offering him a bite from bread already half-eaten, lifting it to Hinata's mouth so he can take some, grabbing his hand on the way home, stealing a sip from Hinata's box of juice over his shoulder. And to be fair, it's not like these things have never happened before, sans the hand-holding, but something in the way Kageyama does it, in the look on his face, has Hinata feeling nervous.
Sometimes, he'll catch Kageyama watching him, sort of intently, like he's waiting for something. Hinata doesn't know what he wants, because he never opens his mouth, just shifts his gaze away when their eyes meet. He seems more...shy, maybe, a word Hinata would never have used for Kageyama, before this. He hesitates where he normally wouldn't, and doesn't hesitate in areas where he normally should.
Like the kissing.
It's during practice, when Hinata's got a ball between his hands when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He knows who it is, immediately, and now that they're cleaning up, it's the perfect time to ask Kageyama what the hell he's doing since there are witnesses to see if Kageyama tries to kill him.
“Hinata,” Kageyama's saying, and once again, his cheeks are flushed in the way that has Hinata's stomach dropping because this is how he's looked every single time he has done something weird. Don't do it, he thinks, puffing his cheeks. Don't do it, don't you dare do it, Kageyama-
Kageyama does it.
Everyone is staring at them, probably, and Hinata feels like he's dying when he shoves Kageyama back and brings his hands up to shield his mouth, preventing further kissing. It was one thing for Kageyama to do this as a joke outside of practice, to try and get back at him for being dumb enough to think he was cute, but everyone is watching.
“What the hell, Kageyama?!” he yells, and if everyone hadn't been looking at them before, they sure are now.
But the surprised look on Kageyama's face is making Hinata feel off. He'd thought this was a prank, or revenge, or something, but either Kageyama's really good at acting, or he's genuinely shocked that Hinata's shoved him back.
The glare is back seconds later, and Kageyama's face is scarlet. This is definitely not right, and in any other circumstance Hinata would be fighting down the warm feeling in his chest at the way Kageyama looks when he's embarrassed, but right now, Hinata has to get to the bottom of this.
“What do you mean what the hell?” Kageyama's snapping, hands fisted at his sides. He looks like he's ready to start a fight.
“I mean what the hell! What are you doing kissing me like this all the sudden?! Are you making fun of me, because it's weird!” It's weird and he can't stop thinking about it, about the look on Kageyama's face, the way he'd looked sleeping and the way his lips feel-
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Kageyama looks honestly perplexed, eyebrows knitted together. “You kissed me first!”
“I didn't kiss you! I...it wasn't a kiss, you just looked cute and so I maybe touched our lips together but it didn't mean anything, stupid! I thought you were sleeping! You were asleep!”
The gym is completely silent now, and the way Kageyama looks at him, he almost looks... “If you didn't mean it, don't do it, dumbass!” His face is screwed up in a weird expression, and before Hinata can even let out the breath he's suddenly holding, Kageyama's stalking out of the gym, breaking into a run while Hinata stands there.
He thinks about the look on Kageyama's face, feels his stomach twist in a knot.
“You kissed Kageyama?” Tanaka's voice pipes up, sounding very confused.
Xxx
Hinata can't find Kageyama anywhere until he stops up on the roof, where they eat lunch sometimes. He's expecting it to be empty, because this is his last resort, after peeking through all the bathrooms and behind all the buildings and finding nothing. And there's Kageyama, back to the wall, sitting with his knees drawn up and his head down.
He could bail at this moment, because Kageyama hasn't seen him, shoulders bunched around his neck. Hinata's only seen him like this after something terrible has happened, like losing a match or fucking up really, really badly at practice. That's how he knows he's fucked up, and his stomach turns even more than it already is because as mad as he could be at Kageyama for not saying what's going on, this isn't something he wants to be responsible for. He hates seeing Kageyama like this, and knowing it's his fault is just the worst.
So he steps forward, hesistantly, keeps going until he's standing right next to Kageyama.
“Fuck off,” comes the muffled voice. “Leave me alone, dumbass.”
Honestly, Hinata has absolutely no idea what to say. Sorry for kissing you? Maybe, but he feels like that would just make Kageyama feel worse. Instead, he just slides down against the wall, sits next to Kageyama and bumps their shoulders together.
It works. Kageyama turns his head, peeks out from around his arm. His face is the color of strawberries (cute) and Hinata really, really wants to just...just...
“Sorry,” he blurts out before his mind runs off somewhere else. “I...did kiss you. I thought you were asleep.”
“So you wouldn't have done it if I wasn't asleep.” Kageyama glares and then turns his face back. “You're so fucking weird. Guys don't just kiss other guys when they're sleeping. You let me kiss you back so I figured...”
“What?” Hinata prods, feeling his heartbeat increase. He remembers the way Kageyama had sleepily brushed their lips together, cocooned in warm blankets, and his throat feels dry.
But Kageyama just shakes his head, goes back to sulking. “I won't do it again so fuck off already.”
Hinata's not really great at thinking things through, and that's what had gotten him into this whole mess; he's feeling overwhelmed with the sight of Kageyama next to him, face hidden and the tips of his flushed ears visible against his smooth, silky hair. Hinata wants to reach out and touch him, but even more, he really wants to...
He reaches out, puts a hand on Kageyama's shoulder and shakes, gently. “Kageyama,” he says, “I didn't know you wanted to...do that. You could have just said so.”
Kageyama's head shoots up, finally, and his face is twisted in an embarrassed scowl. “I did! What the hell do you think that kiss what? I even held your hand, jackass!”
It feels like Hinata's heart is trying to bust out of his chest, because he suddenly realizes what this is. It's Kageyama's attempt at showing affection, at telling Hinata that he's okay with kissing, that he wants it. Hinata's whole body feels warm, and before he can think about it, he's launching himself forward, tossing his arms around Kageyama's shoulders.
Kageyama goes rigid beneath him, and then he tries to pull away, shoving at Hinata's chest. Hinata slips his hands to Kageyama's face, squishes his cheeks between his palms.
“Sorry,” he says, again, and he's feeling relieved and excited and nervous and overwhelmingly fond all at once, so he kisses Kageyama's cheek, his other cheek, and then square on his lips.
It's different from when Kageyama had been half-asleep, different from the kisses Kageyama had quickly deposited on his lips during school and walking home. Kageyama is stiff at first, unmoving, almost stubborn, but Hinata nudges against him insistently and he slowly warms to it.
Hinata feels short of breath when he pulls back, even though they hadn't done anything other than that too-short kiss. Kageyama's glaring, still, but it's different now, a little bit hopeful.
Hinata kisses him again.
Xxx
By the time they head back into practice, everyone has cleaned up and gone, and only Daichi and Suga are left behind. “We wanted to make sure you two were alright,” Daichi says, rubbing his arm awkwardly as he glances between the two of them. Hinata, hand tight around Kageyama's, beams and says they're fine, as Kageyama bows his head in assent and apologizes for running off.
They hold hands the entire way home, although Kageyama hesitates at first, and this time Hinata allows himself to focus on the way Kageyama's fingers feel between his. It feels like he's full of cotton, and when Kageyama turns to part ways, Hinata tightens his grip.
Before he can say anything, Hinata presses their lips together again, tugging Kageyama down to his level and stretching up a little. It's a weird angle, but he doesn't mind it, and when he pulls back and sees Kageyama's cheeks flushed, looking dazed, Hinata can't help but tug on his hand and lead him to his house.
Kageyama is cute. He's really, unbearably cute, Hinata decides; or he's decided long ago, but finally allows himself to think long and hard on is while he presses Kageyama to the bed underneath him, nudges their mouths together and laces their fingers. Kageyama keeps asking if it's okay, (“if you're doing this out of pity I'll murder you”) but Hinata's found a really, really successful way to shut him up, which comes in handy the first time he whispers “you're cute” against Kageyama's cheek, feeling the way the skin heats up.
There are a lot of cute things about Kageyama, the way he gets easily embarrassed and hides it behind feigned anger, the way he falls asleep quickly, head pillowed on his arm and Hinata can hear the heartbeat behind his ribs, the way he is absolutely, horribly miserable at conveying what he wants. He's never had a girlfriend before (or a boyfriend, for that matter), something Hinata's known for a while but can now sort of see why.
Secretly, he's kind of happy about that. He's kind of happy about being the only person to see how cute even an asshole like Kageyama can be, sometimes. And Kageyama gets annoyed, every time without fail, when Hinata points at him and says “cute” the way he can now when Kageyama's not expecting it, when he kisses Kageyama and his cheeks heat up and he looks like he's had a bucket of cold water dumped on him.
He guesses he'll just have to say it a lot, then.