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elegy amidst the ashes

Summary:

In which Lan Wangji contemplates the willing destruction of himself.

Work Text:

You strode into my little world and broke

Its bounds, and all my precepts tossed and splayed

Across the grass, the little world unmade

In light of love enough to clutch, to choke

the throat. Even as you wove your words and spoke

Of teases, of trite games on me to be played,

I perceived myself by my hungry heart betrayed,

And all my discipline gone up in smoke,

As you are now, of course. Gone are the days

When I cherished breakage, for such is touch—

The hand that wrecked yet set my self ablaze,

Where amidst ash crept forth a self anew,

Who sought that hand to hold within its clutch,

And who is destroyed again by lack of you.

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