Work Text:
I must go to bed now. Goodnight.
Goodnight.
…
Miss Austen.
Yes?
Goodnight.
He kept replaying in my head till I couldn’t separate any thoughts in my mind from him. He wove himself into my very being and I could do nothing to stop it. I was helpless to him. To LeFroy. To Tom.
I kept imagining and dreaming the impossible. We could only have so many chances and we had no more. Not in this life. Our love was forbidden from us by those who could not, did not understand. I will never stop loving Tom. I could never let him go. I keep writing and he becomes my characters. He takes shape as my heroes as lovers as anything I possibly could. And I do the one thing for my characters that God did not allow us. I gave them a happy ending.
I realise that I will never marry and I am happy to live by my pen. I am so proud of what I have achieved throughout my life… but if I could have Tom and the rest of the world would be fine, especially his family, then I would do it. I would do it a hundred times over. I have but to hope that I will meet with him again one day. Perhaps in this life, perhaps with God. We will have our happy ending.