Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

How did Hajime get into this mess? His nose was bleeding and he was pinned to the ground by a Ultimates shoe on his neck. He was basically suffocating. Well, lads, let's go back to this morning...

Hajime woke up with his alarm blaring; the alarm was as loud as a busy, crowded mall center, which would usually give him anxiety but he knew he was in his room. He groggily reached for his phone, shutting it off. Hajime sat up, yawning as he combed his fingers through his hair. It has been a month since he's been in the Reserve Course, he hadn't made a friend with anyone but he was okay with that; he never really had friends before anyways...Well, he met someone his first week here and they talk at the end of the day and go to the arcade- 

One friend, he has one friend. Chiaki Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer. How he became friends with an Ultimate is a great question but he'd never be able to answer it. They seemed to have clicked because of videogames. Hopefully, that wasn't all their friendship was; just gaming. 

Hajime's schedule was as normal as usual; use the bathroom, take care of hygiene, eat breakfast, get into the Reserve Course uniform, and then walk to the school building from his dorm building. The students lived in dorms, after a few years of the Reserve Course, teachers and staff thought it would be nice if the students were in one place at Hope's Peak so they could come to school on time. Of course, some students still have to drive to school but Hajime got lucky...somehow. He wasn't lucky often but he wasn't complaining; living at home and taking the city bus to the school was way worse than living near a bunch of jerks. His parents were always crazy busy with work to even notice he was walking around the house. He knew that from their tired remarks they'd make once they got home.

"Oh, Hajime, I didn't see you there...I thought you'd be at school still?"

And the time would've been 9:00 P.M...Obviously far away from how long he left the school for the day.

Hajime sighed to himself, shaking off the words he was calling himself and the memories that came with them. Passing a few students down the stairs, he made his way to the first period. 

The day flew by, nothing but dull assignments or free time, at least until lunch. Hajime usually sat in his homeroom class to eat, close to the window. His homeroom teacher didn't care, as other students did too, only they were far louder than Hajime. The boy never felt too hungry at lunch so instead of wasting what little money he had, he read a book every time, another thing that made him feel normal and clouding his thoughts with the words he bullied himself with. Not enough, normal, blank face, dull, boring, a coward-

Get a grip, Hajime pulled himself together, blinking a couple of times to bring himself back into reality, shooing away the dark clouds in his mind. He closed his book quietly as some other students spoke loudly in the classroom in a group. Hajime couldn't focus on their conversation, plus, it was rude to eavesdrop so he put his head down on his desk and sighed, slowly, trying to calm his mind. He closed his eyes, ready for a short nap...ready to ignore reality for a few short minutes...

"Guys!" oh come on! Hajime's eyes shot open as he lifted his head to look at a student who slid one of the classroom doors open, talking to the kids on the other side of the room. He seemed out of breath as if he had run the track at the back of the school.  

"Guys, some Ultimates are fighting in the Courtyard!" He exclaimed, eyebrows raising. 

"Oh my god, for real?" one of the girls says, looking at her friends. 

"Yes! Come on!" They all hustled out quickly, leaving their belongings n the room. Hajime's eyebrows furrowed; Ultimates? Fighting in the open? This was unheard of.

Hajime had no control over his legs; he followed the students, purposely falling behind as to not catch any attention from them. The boy had only heard whispers and teachers' words about the Ultimates; they always got along well. If they ever fought, it was only in their classrooms for training or friendly duels...yet two are fighting in the Courtyard. What if they had this confused? Maybe it's just an impulsive duel, one challenged the other out of nowhere. 

They came upon a large, thick crowd of people. If Hajime hadn't read the Reserve Course Student forum, he'd think that the entire Reserve Course was there. He noticed some Ultimates as well, looking disturbed or rolling their eyes, arms crossed. Hajime couldn't see, he was too freaking short. He sighed silently and planned on leaving.

Until he heard one of the Ultimates fall to the ground and the other shouting slurs. Homophobic and transphobic slurs. Hajime's morals shot into his brain; this wasn't a duel or a petty fight, this was a one-sided fight. His common sense was pushed to the back of his head and he pushed through the crowd of people. Once he came through the front, his eyes first laid on the boy on the ground with white, wild hair, which waved with every movement. Hajime couldn't see his face, the boys' back to him but from his hands resting on the ground to hold him up, he saw very pale skin. The other Ultimate stood tall over him (but is basically faceless because let's face it, no one in Danganrapa 1 and 2 would do this and the author hasn't seen the 3rd game) and kicked the poor boys' face. The boy was sent backward, hands unable to stop his head from whacking off the concrete. He laid there, presumably unconscious.

Hajime didn't know he was suddenly in between them until he took a hit to the knee as the bully tried to kick the other while he was down. He has never fought before, let alone helped anyone who was in one. All he knew was that this trans person needed his help and no one else was going to do it. He didn't think he had morals...avoiding danger was his hobby. Yet, the community, the LGBTQ+ community has to stick together against people like the Ultimate in front of Hajime.

"Get out of the way, talentless," the bully shouted, glaring down at Hajime. Once again, Hajime's height came into view. Damn his genetics. Without even noticing, his hands were up, balled up into fists. For a moment, he felt small; there were so many eyes on him...so many eyes. Oh god, what was he doing?

"Hinata?" The boy heard the voice of his friend and looked for her. Barely having to look for her, his eyes laid on his Ultimate Gamer friend. Her worried eyes pierced his memory...he had never seen her have any other emotion other than tired and focused. 

"Guys, chill out!" Someone shouted from the crowd.

"Beat that Reserve Course Student!" came another shout. 

Hajime didn't expect to get punched. His vision went white for a moment but somehow, his body kept some balance as his cheek stung in pain like little needles were poking the same spot over and over again. 

"I said move! This freak needs to put in her place!" the string of words that hit Hajime's nerves like a child badly strumming a guitar. he had never felt so much anger. He was always so calm and quiet yet here he was, proving himself wrong. rage coursed through his blood and his fist made contact with the boys' nose...once the bully had backtracked for a second then looked at Hajime with rage, his stomach dropped. 

Well, this was where he was. He blacked out from the rage and apparently had lost and gotten pinned with blood streaming out of his nose. The shoe of the bully pressed against his neck. The pressure was painful, it felt like a rock slowly going into breaking his neck or at least trying to dig into his skin, slowly and painfully. At one point in the pressure, he was letting out painful groans. 

"Let go of him!" There was a shout then the sound of a horrifying crack...the pressure disappeared. Hajime didn't realize he wasn't breathing until now; inhaling air like it was water in the desert. 

Hajime shakingly sat up to see what had happened; Nanami stood over the bully in front of him. The boy below her groaned in pain. Hajime was sent into a state of confusion before Nanami spoke;

"Hinata," she looked at him, softly, as she usually did, "take yourself and Komaeda to the nurse."

Hajime nodded, feeling a headache settle on his brain. He brought a hand to his nose, trying to stop it from streaming as he looked behind him; the boy he was protecting was still out cold. Blood had come out of the boys' head, probably from the impact. The brunette stood and finagled his way to getting the boy to piggyback on him. Before he kept walking to the nurse, he looked back to Nanami, who was suddenly surrounded by Ultimates smiling at her. He left the scene quickly before the boys' head could get worse. 

The nurse acted quickly on them both; giving Hajime tissues and an ice pack when he mentioned his headache, then to the unconscious boy; she moved him to a bed far from the Reserve Student. The brunette only guessed the equipment to take care of the boy was over there and being closer to what he needed was better than keeping him near Hajime. 

"Hinata," Hajime looked up at the nurse, "I need to step out, I apologize. Another few students got into a duel. If Komaeda wakes up, please explain he needs to stay in here for the rest of the day."

"Yes, ma'am," Hajime nodded in a rush, trying to seem respectful despite why he was here in the first place. The nurse gave him a small smile and she left. 

Hajime got up, slowly, holding the icepack to his pounding head as he staggered to Komaeda's bed. There was a clean bandage wrapped around his head, almost blending in with his white hair. His eyes were shut and he looked peaceful for almost getting beaten into a pulp. The brunette brought up a chair near the others' bed, being sure he was close by to notice if he moved. He took his phone out and decided to scroll away the time. 

The nurse hadn't returned when he woke up ten minutes later. Hajime put his phone back in his uniform pocket and looked at the boy. He groaned lowly, opening his eyes slowly. His eyes were light grey-green, which was weird to Hajime. Komaeda's eyebrows furrowed when he didn't recognize where he was and quickly sat up, not yet seeing Hajime.

"Woah, slow down!" Hajime exclaimed, putting his arms in front of the boy as he stood up. The brunette had put the icepack down for the moment. Komaeda's eyes show open, suddenly seeing someone in front of him. 

"Huh?" Komaeda hummed, confused as he stared at the unfamiliar boy. Hajime opened his mouth to explain the situation until Komaeda's hand suddenly attached to the bandage on his head as if it was a habit. 

"Oh...I remember now." Komaeda chuckled silently before wincing. 

"You do?" Hajime questioned, wincing himself and his hand found the still cold icepack. He sat back down as Komaeda spoke. 

"Well, I don't remember seeing you...I'm sorry, who are you?" he sounded disappointed in himself as he looked at Hajime with sad eyes.

"I'm Hajime Hinata," the boy replied, putting his hand out to shake. Komaeda looked at it with such interest, it made Hajime uncomfortable under the stare.

"Wow...you want to shake my hand?"

"Uhm, yeah? It's a greeting?" Did this guy hit his head that hard? 

"Oh, of course," Komaeda gave the other boy a smile and shook his hand, awkward silence filling the room once they pulled away. 

"What's your name?" Hajime asked when they pulled away.

"How rude of me...I'm Nagito Komaeda," he paused for a moment, a shadow darkening his eyes as he looked down, "or, if you'd like to give me what I deserve, my real name is-"

"No!" Komaeda jumped harshly, looking at Hajime with wide eyes, looking interested as well as confused. 

"'no'?"

"I heard what they called you, I'm not standing for it-" before Hajime could say anything else, Nanami rushed in.

"Hinata! Komaeda!" she said in a light tone, jogging to them with a soft smile. 

"Are you guys okay?" she asked, looking between them. Komaeda gave a smile.

"aw, don't worry about trash like me, Nanami."

"I'm alright, just a bloody nose and small headache," Hajime looked at Komaeda with confusion. Why'd he say it like that?

"You really shouldn't have stepped in," Nanami said with concern as she looked at Hajime. 

"I felt like I had to," Hajime said in a soft tone, leaning back in his chair, his eyes going down to the floor. Komaeda finally spoke.

"I'm sorry for interrupting but what are you talking about?" He questioned.

"Hinata jumped in before you got even more hurt," Nanami said matter of factly. Komaeda's eyes went wide once again and he looked at Hajime, stars gleaming in his eyes that were blank just a second ago.

"Hinata~kun! I really don't deserve that! You put yourself in front of danger just to help someone like me?" why was he saying it like that? Hajime felt a bit sad around him just saying things like that.

"Of course I did, no one deserves that treatment!" Hajime exclaimed. Before anyone could speak again, he continued.

"It's not fair to you, you don't see that?"

"Well, I'm nothing," Hajime's eyes went wide at how calm he was while saying that as if it were a fact and not insecurity, "people can call me anything...but I guess I do wish Enoshima didn't tell everyone about me."

"Enoshima?" Hajime questioned. Nanami spoke up, gently.

"She's in the 78th class."

"Oh, my cousin is in the 78th class too," he shook his head, changing the subject, "it's no one's business on who you are but I guess now everyone knows."

"Sorry, Komaeda," Nanami frowned as she looked at him.

"Ah...Nanami, don't make that face, it's not your fault," Komaeda replied. 

"I should get going," Hajime quickly stood, wobbling when his headache punched his brain. 

"Hinata, are you sure you're okay to leave?" Nanami asked.

"I'm sure...oh right," Hajime looked at Komaeda, "you'll have to be in here for the remainder of the day. The nurse said so."

"Alright," Komaeda nodded, eyes looking to the side. Hajime began to leave. 

"Oh, Hinata~kun!" Hajime turned around, feeling weird at the sound of his last name with 'Kun' after it. 

"Thank you," Komaeda smiled gently at Hajime, sending him into some gay panic he hasn't felt in years.

"It was no problem, Komaeda," Hajime gave a small smile back before rushing out of the door.

Nanami looked at Komaeda after they watched the Reserve Student leave.

"Komaeda, are you alright? Don't lie to me," she firmly asked.

"Oh, you worry too much about someone like me, Nanami~chan," Komaeda chuckled a bit, giving Nanami a small amount of reassurance.

"I need to get going too, be safe in here, Komaeda," the two waved to each other. After Nanami left, Komaeda's head rushed with pain and thoughts. He groaned as he laid down. 

My luck works weird, Hinata~kun...I was going to see death itself after dealing with the endless amounts of teasing and pushing, it led to that fight...then my luck decided to bring you into it, Nagito sighed, shutting his eyes to get some minutes of rest, I'm sorry. 

Chapter Text

The next day started as usual. Except the weekend was tomorrow and Hajime had to work extra hours this weekend at the grocery store. He chugged down two cups of coffee, finishing up some homework he didn't do last night before getting dressed and going down to the school building.

Today felt slower...people kept looking at him. They'd glance at him, whisper to their friends, point at him...

it went on until his solitude called lunch. Again, he didn't eat anything, especially because his heart was pounding a million miles an hour. His appetite wasn't there, he didn't even feel the small pang of the pain of neglecting a meal. He took out his book after going to his homeroom lunch area and began reading, diving into the world of fantasy.

He didn't like cheesy love stories, he wanted to read one to make fun of it afterward. Instead, it was anything but cheesy except for the plot.

Two characters, male and female, are in love but their love is looked down upon because the girl was an ultimate princess and could only marry royalty. The boy was talentless and far from royalty. Hajime was five chapters in and the connection they had was painful; they'd sneak out to see each other, to hug and hold hands.  After reading to chapter six, Hajime closed the book, his mind swelling with the clouds again.

Where was his person? Where was the person he'd forever cherish and hold? Where was the person who could find out he's talentless and dump him to the side?

Hajime, shut up, he scolded himself as he put the story in his bag. His eyes went up to the clock and saw lunch was close to ending. Deciding to be early, Hajime picked up his bag and walked to his 8th period...but once he stepped out into the hall, he was face-to-face with four Reserve Course students.

"OMG! You're the guy that stood up against an Ultimate!" a girl said, bouncing in her place. 

"Did it hurt when you got punched?" another girl asked.

"I-I guess," Hajime replied, his heart pounding against his chest.

Their words were bunched together; question after question. Hajime tried to answer them all before his mouth shut tightly, his heart pounding harshly. 

"Excuse me," he quickly pushed through the girls and rushed to the boys' restroom, seeking comfort in the silent, echoing bathroom. He needs silence, he needs peace, he needs no more eyes staring, judging, questioning. 

Hajime closed the restroom door behind him and locked it, impulsively. Hajime didn't realize how bad he was shaking until his legs gave out a few feet from the door, causing him to hit the floor like Komaeda did yesterday except Hajime made sure his head wouldn't smack on the tiled floor. Trying his hardest to stay sitting up, he leaned against the wall for support, the back of his head against the wall.

That's the only thing that'll ever support me.

Breathe, Breathe, breathe. He tried, tried doing the exercise his counselor taught him...but her lesson was out of his reach, no matter how much he dug through the darkness to get to the air, t get to her words, his sight went black; Hajime couldn't tell if his eyes were opened or closed each time he blinked, he couldn't even tell if he was sweating or just cold. 

The attention...the attention of his classmates was squeezing him. Why didn't he just ignore Komaeda and the bully? Let them fight or let Komaeda be beaten? He could've avoided the stares, the whispers, the pointing, the gestures, the endless cycle of anxiety every time he catches one of his classmates staring at him! He could have avoided all of this! He'd be walking to the 8th period now if it weren't for his morals! He tried to block out the thoughts rushing in by covering his ears but it was endless, neverending even. 

Breathe, breathe, breathe. 

breathe, breathe, breathe.

Hajime's eyes began clearing up with each shaky breath he inhaled and exhaled. He hadn't realized he was crying until the darkness disappeared. Leaning against the wall, Hajime swiped them away with shaky arms. His moment was interrupted by a knock.

"Hello? Is anyone in there? Usually, these doors aren't locked, ya know!" The voice was familiar. Hajime stood, silently breathing in again as he used the wall as support, his body still shaking. Hopefully, whoever was on the other side of the door was stupid enough not to see how bad Hajime looked; bloodshot eyes, red face, shaking body...

He reached over and unlocked the door.

"Um, sorry about that!" Hajime stuttered as he backed away and watched the door open...

Makoto Naegi, Hajime's cousin. This was...a funny surprise.

"Hajime!" Makoto's face lit up with a wide smile. Hajime's breathing calmed down more in pure relief of someone he actually trusted. 

Hajime and Makoto were close as kids because Hajime's parents were always busy (still are) so they always had sleepovers and tormented Makoto's sister, Hajime's other cousin. It all ended when school started and Hajime was old enough to use a microwave. Of course, they still saw each other on holidays but up until this point, they hadn't seen each other any extra time. 

Makoto hugged his tall cousin tightly, slightly swaying from the quick impact. Hajime picked him up, like he used to, and hugged tighter, finally feeling a bit of happiness since he had been at the school. After Hajime put him back down on the ground, Makoto's eyes squinted at Hajime's face.

oh, shit - Makoto isn't dumb at all. Oblivious and naive, yes, but not dumb. 

"Hajime! Were you crying?" Hajime grabbed his thick hair, a gesture for him to shut up. 

"I don't want to talk about it, Makoto," Hajime replied in a hushed tone, noticing his anxiety had gone down majorly since seeing his favorite cousin.

"You know I'm here for you, Hajime," Makoto frowned, looking up at him. The taller one had to chuckle a bit; Makoto hadn't grown since middle school and it showed. The shorter one crossed his arms in a pout.

"Okay, Okay...I'll tell you later," Hajime gave him a small smile. Makoto nodded and hugged Hajime one last time before rushing into a stall. 

Hajime breathed in slowly, trying to prepare himself for the rest of the day...he didn't think he'd survive but it's just two more hours. The brunette grabbed his bag off the floor (he didn't know he dropped it) and slowly walked out, silently shutting the door on his way out...

He waited until the boy walked out of the stall to wash his hands. Komaeda followed suit and looked at the shorter boy. How the hell did he not grow?

"Excuse me?" the light brunette gave Komaeda a smile as he looked at him, interested in what he wanted.

"I'm sorry for bothering you but how do you know Hinata~Kun?" Komaeda dried his hands on his pants while the shorter boy got a paper towel.

"Oh, we're cousins! We used to hang out a lot! Now..." the boy looked down, "I feel like he's not doing too well, his anxiety was bad before, I don't know if he's any better."

Good thing this boy doesn't know boundaries when talking about others...

"Anxiety?" Komaeda's head tilted as he followed the boy out of the restroom.

"Well, he used to barely be able to order his own food when we went out, he couldn't be out for a long time before freaking out about the people," the boy went on before pausing, "Oh! I'm sorry! I'm Makoto Naegi! I'm in the 78th class!"

"I'm Nagito Komaeda," Nagito gave him a smile. Naegi nodded as if taking in the name. Nagito was surprised he didn't recognize it from all of the rumors...

"How do you know Hajime?" Naegi asked.

"We met on luck," Nagito replied.

"I'm sorry to cut this short but I have to run upstairs! Nice meeting you, Komaeda!" Naegi turned a sharp left after waving the Lucky student goodbye. Nagito waved back, slightly disappointed he couldn't learn more about Hinata~Kun. 

Chapter Text

"Sir," Hajime turned around, "can you tell me where the chips are?"

Yesterday was hell, sure, but Hajime actually liked his job until it came to overtime. Night shifts were the most terrifying, alone or not. He wasn't sure how people did this all day on weekdays. Hajime showed an old woman where the chips were, smiled at her as she thanked him, and went back to stocking cans. His co-worker, Kazuichi Souda, understood Hajime from the start about his anxiety and took cashier duty tonight. Hajime cleaned, stocked, and made sure everything was in its place. 

Ten at night was rolling around, Soda and Hajime were left in the store. Hajime has wanted time to know Soda better, who was an Ultimate Mechanic, so Hajime hung out at the cashier with Souda, the store was silent. They joked once about how only night owls would shop so late. They got into the wine once as well, which caused Hajime to break down in tears about his life. Hajime has made a note to never fucking drink again. 

"Hey, how's your head after that guy kicked your ass?" Souda laughed, sharp teeth showing. Hajime's face went red from embarrassment, avoiding eye contact. 

"I landed hits on him too."

"Not as much as he did you!"

They chuckled a bit before Soda's face went serious.

"So...why'd you do it?" He asked, crossing his arms as he leaned against the cashier table.

"It...just didn't sit right with me, you know? I'm in the community, why wouldn't I help someone who has it worse than me?" Souda nodded.

"mhm, I get that but the dude is a complete weirdo! He's the Ultimate Lucky Student. Bad shit could happen around him and that'd be his fault," Souda said. Hajime felt happy that Soda respected Komaeda's pronouns, unlike others. The brunette took in the information before speaking again.

"Well, it was just one time. It's not like I'll see him again."

"Dude, you saved his ass, if he wants to see you again, all he has to do is rely on his luck and it'll happen," Souda informed him further. The brunette felt the pressure on his shoulders; did Komaeda want to see him again? He hoped not...he talked little of himself constantly, how could he handle that with his own shit going on. Souda suddenly started laughing.

"Man, I feel bad for you! If he wants to be near you, you're gonna get your ass hurt more than once!" 

"That's mean, Souda. It's not like he chose to be The Ultimate Lucky Student. Hell, if I get hurt so better luck comes later for him, I don't care," Hajime shrugged, playing with a plastic bag he found on the floor near the entrance. Why did people have to be so messy? Suddenly, the bell rang that someone came into the store, interrupting their conversation. 

"Well, speak of the lucky devil," Souda smirked at Hajime, who stared at Komaeda, who had just walked in. Was Soda right? Did Komaeda really want to see someone as dull as Hajime? 

Don't get your hopes up. 

"Oh, Hello, Souda and Hinata~Kun!" Komaeda waved to them. He looked completely different outside of his uniform; his eyes had bags under them, he looked a lot more tired. He wore an oversized black hoodie with dark ripped skinny jeans and grey tennis shoes. Komaeda went on his way after Souda and Hajime waved back.

"If you two start dating, you owe me ten dollars!" Souda whispered to Hajime, who's face went beat red.

"We just met, why are you betting our relationship when it has a chance of not going anywhere?" Hajime growled, avoiding eye contact again. He only heard Souda chuckle again.

Komaeda didn't like shopping when the sun was up. The noise was always so loud; people talking, the constant opening of the cash registers...he just hated loud noises. He didn't expect to see Hinata~Kun here though. Did he work here, he wondered? He had never come into this store, it was far from his dorm but he couldn't get everything he wanted from the small store nearby.

Komaeda looked for everything on his list, the signs above the aisles helping him find everything just fine as he carried a small basket of everything...until he couldn't find the pancake mix. He wanted to make pancakes tomorrow morning, give himself a treat for once. Living alone sucks for him but he'd rather live in the school dorms than at home...

Home...

"Komaeda?" Nagito turned around to find Hinata~Kun quietly shuffling closer.

"Um, do you need help?" How cute...Hinata~Kun was stuttering in Nagito's presence? No, that's not right. Naegi said the brunette had anxiety. Maybe he doesn't actually deserve those pancakes.

"I'd hate to be a bother," Nagito looked at Hinata~Kun, apologetically. 

"You're not being a bother if I asked."

Nagito froze, confused. No one had ever said that; it was always "what do you want?" "Just tell me" "shut up and tell me'".

"Well...I can't find the pancake mix," Nagito finally said, playing with his sleeves.

"Oh, alright, follow me," Hinata~Kun immediately started walking catching Nagito off guard. He quickly followed after regaining his composure, watching the back of his head as they walked through the aisles. 

"I'm sorry for bothering you, you probably want to stay away from trash like me." There he goes again.

Hajime liked him as a person, sure, but why does he have to be so negative to himself?

"I told you you're not bothering me. Besides, the store is empty," Hajime replied. It must have silenced Komaeda because he didn't say anything. Hajime turned a right and came to the pancake mix.

"Here you go, pancake mix," Hajime gave a wavering smile, trying to appear confident. He tried to do what his counselor had told him to do; puff his chest out, appear taller (despite the fact Komaeda was about an inch taller). 

"Thank you, Hinata~Kun!" Komaeda gave a small smile, which seemed slightly forced to Hajime but he shrugged it off.

"No problem at all, Komaeda," Hajime said, waving his hand as if to shoo away the overexaggerated 'thank you'. Komaeda gently nodded, as if this was his first time hearing 'no problem'. Hajime led the boy to Soda's cash register, who sighed in boredom. 

"Finally, you guys are slowpokes, what were you doing? Making out?" Hajime's face tingled ever so slightly.

"Souda, we barely know each other, keep it in your pants," this caused Komaeda to chuckle quietly and left Souda to roll his eyes as he began taking Komaeda's items and scanning them.

"You're sassy for a dude with anxiety," Souda commented, shoving the items in the bags after scanning them as Hajime rounded behind the counter to Souda.

"Yeah and you're horny for the gays for a guy who claims he's straight," Komaeda covered his mouth with his hand, probably hiding his genuine smile. Damn, Hajime thought. Souda's face went beet red as he spun backward to glare at Hajime, who busted out laughing as the sight of Soda's embarrassed, red-stained, face. 

Nagito wanted to capture the moment of video...Hinata~Kun's laugh was so full of light, despite how deep it sounded...it was so full of hope even though Hinata~Kun never seemed too happy at first. 

Thinking back, Nagito was both lucky and unlucky yesterday, when the poor boy rushed into the bathroom in complete despair. Nagito could've sworn he even saw the dark clouds in Hinata~Kun's mind spilling out with each shaky breath. Nagito still scolded himself for not approaching him but he was frozen in his stall, which he backed up into when the boy ran in. He tried so many times to open the stall door, to act natural, but the other boys' anxiety must have rubbed off on him at that moment because Nagito couldn't bring himself to do it. He watched through the crack on the stall, yelling at himself with each passing second...they had only just met but Nagito felt the need to protect him from his own mind, despite the fact that Nagito couldn't even do that for himself. 

When Naegi came in after the anxious boy pulled himself together (which gave Nagito so much serotonin and hope), seeing Hinata~Kun's act change so quickly around the other boy set him off, especially when they hugged and were on first name bases. He didn't understand this feeling to keep him for himself, to dig into the Reserve Students' brain to know his life, his everything, and protect him from it. He saved me, with my own luck, maybe it's normal to want to know your savior personally, Nagito reminded himself. 

"Hey, weirdo," Nagito snapped out of his daydreaming, seeing Souda and Hinata~Kun staring at him as the cashier snapped his fingers in front of his face. In force of habit, Nagito flinched away and sheepishly smiled.

"Ah, sorry! I spaced out!" he looked at the bags, only to realize Hinata~Kun was holding them. There were only four bags but Nagito rushed to grab them. 

"Hey, let me help you with these until you walk out," Hinata~Kun moved away, blocking Nagito from grabbing the bags.

"Oh, please, someone like me doesn't deserve that! Plus, I rode the bus here!" the Lucky Student tried to quickly go around Hinata~Kun but the Reserve Course Student had the reflex's of a cat; he spun around again. 

"Then let me walk you to the bus stop, I...I never finished what I wanted to say to you that day..." he trailed off, looking down. The confidence that was there disappeared. Nagito allowed himself to look down at him in shock. Oh right...

"I heard what they called you, I'm not standing for it-"

Then Nanami rushed in.

What else did he want to say? 

"Get it on, boys!" Souda shouted after them when they started walking to the entrance after Nagito paid.

"Souda, I will literally ruin you," Hinata~Kun shouted back but with a soft smile on his face, which was a sign that the words meant nothing. 

Once out, the cold night air rushed to attack the boys. Nagito put his hood up then looked at the other boy, seeing him shiver on impact while managing the bags. Nagito took the chance to look him up and down; he wore a black shirt and jeans, over the black shirt was a vest showing that he worked at the store with his name tag. He looked physically fit, more fit than Nagito, at least. His hand absent-mindedly pressed against his chest, expecting those god awful things there...he then had to remind himself his surgery was just a few months ago, the things were gone but the memory of coming home, telling his aunt and uncle everything...opening up for once after he made them listen...

He'd never explain how painful that beating was. 

"Komaeda," Hajime caught the boys' attention. He tried to say something else before Komaeda suddenly taking his hoodie off.

"W..What are you doing?" Hajime's face warmed up as he gripped the bags in his hands.

"You hold my bags, you take my hoodie," it was fully off and Hajime couldn't help but pause and look. The shirt underneath was a white shirt with a strange red symbol. The shirt looked bigger on him without the hoodie; his arms were pale, almost white, and they were just so scrawny. Komaeda nudged the hoodie at him gently.

"I couldn't take your hoodie-"

"Then you can give it back Monday!" Komaeda gave him a gentle smile. Hajime hesitated and finally sighed, placing the bags down carefully and taking the black hoodie.

While putting it on, his nose smelled a light lavender scent mixed with a stronger smell of peppermint. 

Creep!

Hajime shook his head after he got the hoodie on; it seemed to fit him a bit better than on Komaeda, which made sense, considering Komaeda looked unnaturally skinny. The boy in question smiled before turning his head to hide it.

"Let's get going," he said as his feet stuttered forward, awkwardly. Hajime quickly followed, picking up the bags as he let the hood practically cover his face but he had no time to fix it. 

It was silent for a bit. The bus stop was probably five minutes away, Hajime thought. He picked up his pace, gliding up next to Komaeda.

"How's your head?" Hajime drawled, sudden anxiety kicking in. 

"Oh," Komaeda hummed as if he had remembered his head was injured, "I honestly don't feel anything from it."

"Really? Your luck must come in handy in that case," Hajime noted quietly, jealous of the Lucky Student; he was below him, a blank face in the crowd. Komaeda could easily forget him and things would go back to normal. Well, as normal as being Hajime, who stood up to an Ultimate and all eyes were now on him, judging, planning, mocking-

"Hinata~Kun! Did you hear me?" Hajime's body shook from the sudden yell. He looked back up, not realizing he'd been looking down until now, to see Komaeda looking at him. He didn't look too comfortable in the cold or with showing skin, even if it was just his arms. 

"Sorry, sorry!" Hajime half-assed a bow in apology and looked back at Komaeda, who's face was twisted in confusion. 

"Aw, Hinata~Kun! You don't need to bow and apologize to trash like me! Heck, you don't have to listen either!"

"Komaeda, I wish you wouldn't say those things," Hajime huffed, his anxiety finally dying down for a moment. Now he can gain the confidence he needs to talk to the taller boy. 

"Say what things?" Komaeda asked, blowing hot air into his cold, boney, pale hands. 

"Those depressing things! You're not trash, no one is!" Wish I'd take my own advice on that.

"Well...we can talk about that some other time," they arrived at the bus stop and sat on the bench, which was behind glass walls, shielding them from the cold night.

"What did you want to say? or do you take it back now?" this boy...Hajime sat down the bags, stretching out his hands as he stared at them.

"I..." he took a deep breath, "I'm here for you, you know. I know we just met but I'm, uh, bisexual?" Hajime scolded himself for making his coming out to Komaeda sound more like a question instead of a statement.

"and," Hajime continued before Komaeda could reply, "I believe the community, you know, the LGBTQ+ community should stick together, considering some people treat us as...minorities."

Silence filled the air, causing Hajime's anxiety to spike like his ahoge; god, Komaeda was judging him, huh? 'Bisexual? well, aren't you just confused?' he was ready for that stupid claim.

"Oh."

just 'oh'?

Hajime looked at Komaeda to repeat his thought only to catch the boy crying as he was looking at Hajime. Although he was trying to hold it back, Hajime knew what crying looked like.

"Komaeda?" 

"I've," Komaeda took a breath and cringed at his voice breaking, "I've never been supported by someone else...this is weird, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry! It wasn't exactly what I wanted to say the other day but it was along those lines! I didn't want to make you upset!"

"Upset?" for once, Komaeda actually chuckled, not hiding his genuine smile. 

"I'm not upset!" 

"You're crying," Hajime pointed out, matter of factly. 

"I am?" Komaeda reached up to his eyes and felt the wetness from his tears.

"How embarrassing," he mumbled. Before either of them could say anything else, Komaeda saw the bus in the distance.

"Oh! Hinata~Kun! Could I have your phone?" raising an eyebrow, Hajime reached into his back pocket for the small device and handed it to Komaeda, who took his own, more expensive-looking phone, out. Once he was done, he handed Hajime's phone back.

"You don't have to...but if you text me, I'll always answer. I never sleep," an awkward laugh came from him as the other boy stared at Komaeda's number in his phone, feeling overwhelming happiness...he hadn't felt this joyful in so long. 

With that, Komaeda picked up his bags and waved Hajime goodbye after shouting, "see you later!" and he stepped onto the bus, disappearing from Hajime's sight. The bus started up and rolled away into the cold night. The brunette stood, shoving his cold hands and phone into Komaeda's hoodie pockets after throwing the hood back down behind his neck. 

I am so texting him when I get home, Hajime smiled, feeling some excitement before he started trotting back to the store. 

Chapter Text

Hajime took the bus home when his shift ended at six in the morning. He and Souda were absolutely exhausted from goofing off, acting like kids again instead of a boring Reserve student and an Ultimate Mechanic. Hajime was glad to work and be friends with Souda, who was easy to handle even when he was acting like a toddler on a sugar rush. 

The brunette unlocked his dorm door, pocketed the key in his jeans, and stumbled in, unable to keep his eyes open. He closed the door and locked it. His hand stuttered on the lock...he unlocked it again, then locked it. Why is this a constant struggle? 

After repeating the process three more times to be sure he absolutely knew his door was locked, he stumbled to his room and took off Komaeda's hoodie and folded it carefully, placing it on his nightstand afterward. He face-planted into his bed, lazily taking off his work vest and shirt after he rolled onto his back and tossed them into the void of his messy room. Hajime wasn't much into cleaning, he just cared for things to look presentable for him. Now, it's a different story if someone were to come over. 

Hajime wiggled to reach for his phone in his jeans and pulled it out as he covered himself in his blue comforter. 

Now...texting Komaeda...

Hajime tapped onto his contact number, suddenly wide awake with worry; what should he say? A simple hi? that's boring, like him. He bit his lip, quickly typing out a greeting;

Hajime Hinata:

Hello, Komaeda!

Surprisingly, he saw three dots immediately appear, signing that the other boy was typing. Was Komaeda waiting for him? No, that's not possible.

Nagito Komaeda:

Hinata~Kun! You actually texted me! My morning is better now! :D

That simple emoji made Hajime smile softly. The boy made a mental note to change the contact name...he resumed typing, burying himself under his soft blanket. 

Hajime Hinata:

Did something happen?

And if you say something depressing about why I shouldn't know, save it.

Nagito Komaeda:

Aw, darn! I was caught! Well, after I got on the bus when we parted ways, some guy kept hitting my shoulder and said it was Tourettes...although he did smirk at me as he continued to do it so I don't think he did. Then I got off and tripped on a pile of rocks but my luck came into play and I got free sushi!

Hajime Hinata:

why didn't the sushi make today better?

Nagito Komaeda:

It gave me food poisoning :/

Hajime Hinata:

Well, maybe something super lucky will happen since you got a ton of bad luck.

Nagito Komaeda:

Possibly.

Hajime paused; what now? Should he ask a question? They should get to know each other...right? He fumbled and pathetically texted away.

Hajime Hinata:

uh

so

Uhm

what's your favorite color?

He immediately hit his head with his wrist. are you done, Hajime!? What a stupid question!

Nagito Komaeda:

As basic as that question is, I've never actually thought about it...

Something Grey or peach? 

How does this boy make everything positive for Hajime but not positive for himself?

Hajime Hinata:

I've never met anyone favoring peach, it's neat.

Nagito Komaeda:

Hinata~Kun! Tell me yours!

If you want to tell someone like me that is!

Hajime Hinata: 

Komaeda, istg.

Anyways.

I like lime green.

Nagito Komaeda:

Wait, Hinata~Kun...

Didn't you just come back from a night shift?

You should sleep!

Staying up to talk to me shouldn't burden you!

Hajime Hinata:

Good idea, I'm exhausted...

You aren't a burden.

I'm going to sleep now.

Nagito Komaeda: 

AH, you might make me cry again, Hinata~Kun :') 

Sleep well!

Hajime put his phone on his nightstand on top of Komaeda's hoodie and closed his eyes. He must have been dead tired because he fell unconscious immediately. He allowed the bed and blanket to gently drown him in comfort.

Home

Home is where the silence is.

He woke up six hours later, groggily opening his still heavy eyes. He felt like he didn't sleep a wink. Through his tired breathing and thoughts, his phone notifications blowing up bled through his crowding brain. Hajime rolled over, laying on his back, as he reached for his phone.

Nagito Komaeda

I apologize if this bothers you! I actually have a question...

And a confession.

Confession? This wasn't the last of Komaeda's texts yet...

Nagito Komaeda

so uh, I was in the bathroom when you ran in there the other day...

oh...how embarrassing...

Nagito Komaeda:

I didn't know what to do, I didn't think someone as hopeful as you would want comfort from trash like me!

and then your cousin came in! I felt so happy that someone was able to ease you but I'm so sorry for any trouble I may have caused you! Some Ultimates in my class even speak about your hope and courage!

that brings me to my question!

Did I ruin your experience at Hope's Peak?

Hajime scowled, remembering the judging eyes on him...the glances, the-

oh shut up, Hajime. Answer the poor boy, he thinks it's his fault!

After a small slap to his cheek, Hajime replied.

Hajime Hinata:

Komaeda, it's not your fault people are speaking about me.

Nagito Komaeda:

Yes but Naegi, your cousin, he mentioned something about anxiety.

Makoto can't keep his mouth shut to save his life! Now Komaeda is gonna think he's a pathetic loser who overthinks the smallest situations! Hajime wouldn't be able to handle that...he sat up in his bed before replying.

Hajime Hinata:

he can't ever keep his mouth closed...

Nagito Komaeda:

I know this is none of my business! You don't have to explain it to me if you don't want to!

and this time I'm not saying that to bring myself down, I know stuff like anxiety is a really deep topic!

The brunette felt his heart do a twirl. Someone understands? Understands how hard it all is to explain? Before he could think more, Komaeda sent another message.

Nagito Komaeda:

but if we were to ever hang out, if you wanna hang out with trash like me, you should tell me what to do in situations like that, Okay?

I don't want to make your life harder than I've made it already!

What was this feeling? This relief? Within a second, a memory flashed in his mind, throwing him back into the elementary, when his mother was called by the school counselor...his very busy mother on the phone.

He sat there, fists resting in his lap as he avoided eye contact with the school counselor. He stared down at his shaky, pale hands as the phone rang...and rang...

"I told you, they're busy-!" it picked up.

"Yes, who is this?" His mother.

"Hello Mrs. Hinata! I'm the school counselor for your sons' school and I have him here! I have some concerns..."

She said she wouldn't call them! She said she wouldn't! He opened up to someone at last and she's betraying his trust!

"Concerns?" His mother echoes on the phone, " what did Hajime do?" 

She dumped it out on his mother...His secrets, his fears, his overthinking, everything was spilling out of the womans' mouth like venom. Once it was all out, they sat in silence before his mother said;

"I'm very busy, I'll handle this when we are home."

They didn't.

She never asked. She didn't even look at him that day; came in, took off her shoes, sighed, and walked to her room, exhausted. 

Hajime had vowed since then to never open up again...they'd think he's weird, a freak! Or they'd pull what his mother did; pretend the issue doesn't exist. The only people who ever knew were his brother and cousin. Izuru was calmer about it than Makoto but he knew his brother loved him in his own way...or so he thought...Izuru never showed much emotion, he hardly associated himself with the Hinata's. Not legally, but he changed his last name in every school record to keep the attention off their relation...despite Hajime's trust in his twin, the boy had never given him the time of day if they were in public. It was always as though Izuru was embarrassed of Hajime...

Nagtio Komaeda:

Hajime?

Did I upset you? I'm sorry! It wasn't my intention!

Hajime wiped away the tears forming in his eyes as he typed quickly.

Hajime Hinata:

No, you didn't.

There's just this feeling of relief that someone understands.

Thank you, Ko

Oh shoot! Hajime meant to type the rest of his name! His fat thumb slipped and hit sent! As he was typing to finish it, Komaeda sent his own message.

Nagito Komaeda:

Ko? That's new!

I quite like that! Can you keep calling me that? If you want that is!

Hajime didn't know it but he was gently smiling to himself as he deleted his apology and typed out a new message. 

Hajime Hinata:

Of course! It was honestly a slip of the thumb but I can keep calling you that!

Time went fast after that; Hajime only left his phone to shower, eat, and do laundry but otherwise, he was laying in his bed all day, talking to Komaeda, endlessly. This boy was hard to read...so self-depressing but so easy to talk to. Why did Souda and Souda's friends find him weird? He never understood that. He probably never will...

Chapter Text

The Monday morning started normally; get up, brush teeth, brush hair, get dressed, eat, prepare lunch (just in case he actually eats it, then in other words, dinner), and leave.

Except during lunch, Hajime has to return Komaeda's hoodie...

He did ask where Komaeda stays for lunch and he replied with 'I stay in my homeroom with other students, why?'. Hajime never told him why. Morning classes were as usual; dull and boring, just like him. When the lunch bell sounded, Hajime quickly walked to his next period and left his bag there just in case he was late, then his bag would be there, ready to go for the lesson. Hajime took out Komaeda's hoodie carefully, the fabric still soft and radiating of the mint and lavender smells. The brunette read Komaeda's classroom number again before heading off up two flights of stairs to the Ultimate Classrooms.

Finally, on the floor he needed, he avoided eye contact with any wondering Ultimates and looked at the classroom numbers. He was beginning to get frantic when his eyes finally landed on the room he needed. All Hajime had to do now was sneak in, give Komaeda his hoodie, and leave quickly. 

He underestimated that plan.

Hajime quietly slid the door open to see a full class, talking about whatever it is Ultimates talk about...Hajime's eyes landed on Komaeda's back, seeing him watching a girl with purple long hair and a shorter blonde girl arguing...well, the blonde was antagonizing the other. His legs turned to jelly as he tried to rethink this entire plan...before he could slip away, a shout came from in front of him.

"Hinata!" 

"Souda?" Hajime scolded himself; Souda mentioned that Komaeda was in most of his classes, why was he surprised? Then again, Souda ranted off on how weird the white-haired boy was, wouldn't he want to stay away? The room fell silent and all eyes were on Hajime, making him shrink where he stood. His eyes stared at the floor until Souda's shoes were in front of him.

"Dude! It's epic that you're here but why are you here?" he was being judged he knew it...

"Wait, that uniform..." Someone in the class mumbled before the blonde Komaeda was watching earlier suddenly rang out.

"Why is a dumb, talentless Reserve Course Student here? Go back with the rest of your kind, stupid!" Hajime's eyes met the voice; despite her small figure and cutesy look, she was a little demon.

"I was just..." Hajime mumbled, looking at the floor again; his pride was shattered. Any confidence he had trying to come here was gone. He felt himself starting to slink away.

"Hey, hey! Leave him alone!" Souda shouted to the girl, who simply folded her arms and huffed. Souda slightly growled and looked back at Hajime with a small apologetic look in his eyes.

"It is quite rude to speak to people like that, Saionji!" A girl with the most royal look about her exclaimed, her hands on her hips in a confident stance. Once again, the short blonde sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Oh, my hoodie!" the room was silent again when Komaeda suddenly stood. Hajime closed his eyes for a brief moment and shyly met the others'; those kind eyes as he approached him. Those grey-green eyes have never pierced Hajime's mind up until this moment. He never realized how much comfort those eyes could give until this very moment. In a moment's notice, his anxious thoughts were gone and he straightened, trying to appear confident again, only staring at Komaeda, who got close enough to keep talking.

"This was why you asked me where I'd be? Hinata~Kun! I could have just come down and get it from you myself, you didn't have to come all this way for someone like me!" Hajime handed over the neatly folded hoodie to Komaeda, who smiled so brightly yet apologetically. He only focused on the boy, who was his task at hand anyway...he tried not to let the many pairs of eyes on him bother him, even if his skin was crawling and felt as though he was being dug into by little needles.

"No, it's fine, Komaeda," the taller boy seemed to sulk and Hajime knew why; his nickname wasn't said aloud but when Komaeda looked around, he went back to smiling, as if he understood the nickname would cause questions...if the hoodie wasn't enough to make his classmates question their relationship. 

"Hinata! You could totally check out my machines now!" Souda squealed, making a break for his desk (not without slipping of course). Hajime wanted to object but Souda's voice broke with excitement, different from his working voice...Hajime couldn't deny him. Komaeda took a step closer, lowering his voice as everyone turned their attention to Souda.

"Seriously, Hinata~Kun, I could've come down so you'd avoid this," his eyes flashed with worry. 

"I wasn't thinking clearly, honestly...but at least this kind of gave me an excuse to see you again," Hajime mentally slapped himself; did he seriously just say that!? Komaeda's face flushed with a light pink and he looked as though he could hardly contain the smile on his face.

"Wow...No one's ever said anything like that before! You're so kind, Hinata~Kun!" Komaeda's mood shifted immediately

Admittedly, Nagito wasn't having a good morning. His Luck was getting worse with each passing moment. When he woke up, he lost his tie for his uniform, had to button up his blazer for once (so he wouldn't be breaking school rules without the tie), he started walking to class, ran into Junko Enoshima (who made snide remarks as he rushed away, her sister laughing with her), and now he was just feeling like trash. His morning classes were stuffed full of drama and chaos...he could usually handle it but they were louder than usual and Nagito despised loud noises, especially if it's all overlapping. Nagito found his lunch period to be toleratable...that was until he heard that Hinata~Kun walked in and started saying these kind words to him. Now his day was a little brighter once again, because of Hinata~Kun. 

Souda ran over with a tiny robot he made and started babbling away. Nagito knew they knew each other longer so he quietly slipped away and back to his seat. 

"Hey, Komaeda," came Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu's voice from in front of Nagito. He glanced up to meet the baby gangsters golden eyes staring down at him.

"Isn't that the guy who saved you from getting your ass kicked?" why did he have to put it so bluntly?

"Oh!" Ibuki Mioda exclaimed, climbing over a desk to stand beside Nagito's seat to listen in on the conversation.

"That's the guy?" Mahiru Koizumi mumbled, judgementally.

"I thought he'd be taller than you, manlier even!" Of course, Koizumi would say that. Her high expectations in men were...very picky. Nagito nodded to them, confirming it's Hinata~Kun who did that. All three pairs of eyes lit up in interest and they started getting up from their seats to go to Hinata~Kun.

"Ah, but don't crowd him!" Nagito quickly exclaimed to the three, stopping them in their tracks.

"Why the hell not?" Kuzuryu asked gruffly. Nagito wondered why he even cared but shrugged it off for now.

"He must have anxiety! Although he needs to get over it, he's a man!" Koizumi put her thoughts in. The red-head took a step forward before Nagito quickly stood, stopping her in her steps to approach Hinata~Kun, who was actually smiling while talking quietly to Souda by the door, playing with the machine in his hands.

"Please!" Koizumi looked at him, shocked. 

"Just...hah! If he wants to keep coming here to meet you guys, I'll ask!" He looked between the three.

"But please, give him time...!" he felt his apology bubbling up in his throat, feeling selfish for holding back Ultimates with so much more Hope and passion than him but if Naegi was right, Hinata~Kun's anxiety wouldn't handle these three at the same time, let alone at all. 

"hmph," Koizumi huffed and nodded, agreeing to take time to know this unreliable boy. 

"Aw, well...I can understand it!" Mioda sat on a desk behind her and swung her legs, smiling brightly. 

"Ugh, fine," Kuzuryu rolled his eyes. Nagito smiled with relief.

"Thanks."

"Komaeda!" Souda shouted from the door with a sing-song voice.

"Your boyfriend is leaving!" Nagito's face warmed up, embarrassed. He watched as Hinata~Kun stomped on his foot, earning a yelp from the mechanic and for him to hop on one foot for a moment before giving the Reserve Course Student a pouty look. Nagito chuckled lightly and rushed over. 

"Really, Hinata~Kun, I could've come down and-" he was interrupted. 

"Komaeda, I wanted to, alright?" Hinata~Kun seemed slightly irritated with Nagito's constant persistence...

They stood for a second before Hinata~Kun did the most bisexual thing; awkwardly step back with a small smile and gave Nagito the finger guns and he quickly walked away, disappearing down the hall. Nagito had to hold his laugh and covered it with a cough as he turned around to sit down...all eyes were on him.

"What?"

He was then crowded by his models and being asked questions left and right. Nagito knew Hinata~Kun was a big deal, standing up against someone stronger than him but geez...

---

After school, Hajime heads to the front gates of the school just like everyone else but unlike everyone else, he was meeting up with Nanami. He turned the corner and looked down, knowing she'd be sitting on the floor, playing on her handheld game console. He stood beside her, watching her thumbs whip around the buttons, effortlessly. Hajime didn't like bothering her when she was in this state, whether she was hard to distract from her game or not. Her handheld game console sang a victory sound and she stood, looking at Hajime with tired eyes. 

"Ready?" Hajime asked.

"Yup," she replied dully. 

Today, they planned for a Mario Kart tournament. Hajime never did well in the game but he had so much fun with Nanami that it didn't matter. The tournament was at Hajime's dorm, which he spruced up a bit for the expected company. Once they walked in, he quickly excused himself and rushed to his room to change out of his uniform. 

Of course, he walked out in a plain black T-shirt and grey sweatpants. He scolded himself for not even trying but it was anxiety thrilling already to have someone over in his dorm, why worry about how he looks, especially if they're only friends and at his own dorm? He sets up his Wii, Nanami pocketed her hand-held console, and dully watched Hajime quickly set it up. 

"Hinata?" Her voice scared Hajime, making his hard jerk out and hit the wall behind his TV. He recoiled and held his hand as he looked at Nanami. 

"So you've kept in contact with Komaeda?" His face heated up as he tensed.

"Well, yeah but how do you know?"

"I was in the room during lunch...you didn't see me?" her voice didn't have a hint of disappointment but Hajime felt a pang of guilt. He really hadn't looked up from the floor unless it was to look up at Komaeda, Souda, or the girl that mocked him. 

"I'm sorry-"

"I'm not asking for an apology, don't worry," Nanami offered a tired smile as she continued to speak, "I didn't think you'd keep talking to Komaeda."

"why's that?" Hajime questioned, going back behind the TV to hook up the Wii. 

"Well, maybe he hasn't had a breakdown around you yet..." she mumbled. Once again, Hajime looked back at her.

"Breakdown? He only came by the store on Souda and I's night shift and I walked him to the bus stop. It got cold and he gave me his hoodie for carrying his bags."

He turned back to the wires in his hand as he went on, "we exchanged numbers and talked all weekend, that's about it, but what do you mean by 'breakdown'?"

"He should tell you but all I can do is warn you-" Nanami was interrupted by Hajime's phone going off on his couch. Confused, Hajime slipped put from behind his TV and grabbed his phone...Izuru.

This caused Hajime to sweat bullets immediately; Izuru never called him, not even if he was in trouble and he's been in trouble more than Hajime can count. Hajime swiped the green answer button and brought his phone to his ear quickly.

"Izuru?" Hajime questioned.

"Hajime," ugh, that dark voice. No one in Hajime's family had a deep, dark voice like Izuru's, they could only assume puberty favored him. 

"Izuru, are you okay? You never call..." Hajime mumbled the last part and this made his twin sigh on the other end. 

"How boring...I got bored, I wanted to see your reaction to me calling you. As expected, you're worried," why is Izuru like this? Hajime groaned lowly and lowered his voice so Nanami wouldn't hear.

"You're my brother, am I not allowed to worry about you?" Hajime noticed his voice dripping with irritation and tried to dial it back; Izuru wouldn't mind it, he knew, but Izuru did things for reactions he doesn't expect, Hajime wasn't going to give that to him. 

"Well, I guess, since we're family. But you never call Mom and Dad, does that mean you don't worry for them?" He used to do this a lot, Hajime thought, nowadays it's less common. He'd try to shove the brunette to the edge, causing him to be angry or have an anxiety attack (not the best brother, he knows). Over the years, Hajime knew how to deal with it.

"Izuru, I'm with a friend-"

"You have friends?"

"Shut up," the other side of the line was quiet, unexpectedly, "I have friends, yes. I wish you would see someone with this problem you have. Now, I'm busy, if you want to traumatize someone else, be my guest but it's not going to be me," he hung up immediately after his small speech. Hajime didn't realize he was holding his breath until he let it go. He steadily breathed as he set his phone down and looked at Nanami.

"Sorry," she only shrugged. Both had forgotten what they were talking about beforehand so Hamjime went back behind the TV.

The night went on, Hajime losing to Nanami multiple times during their Tournament. At first, he tried to see it as all good fun, laughing and smiling...but after they said their goodbyes, he sat on the couch and his insecurities tore into him. His brain felt like a battlefield; he's trying to get better but then there's that part of him that wants to sit in the misery...because that's all that's there for him.

Once again, his phone went off, seemingly louder this time to break the grip that despair had on him. He glanced at his phone and everything stopped when he saw Komaeda's name on his phone, his ringtone going off.

Ko...Ko is calling me?? KO???

His heartbeat sped up, pounding against his chest as he swiped 'answer'.

"H...hello?"

Nagito was sleep deprived but his insomnia was the cherry on top of his sadness right now. Although he never cared for being trans, didn't care about his body or the surgery he went through, he was feeling dysphoric to an extend of hating himself more, feeling tingling in his skin as he wished to just tear himself apart. 

Calling Hinata~Kun was simply him suddenly blacking out then he hears his voice through his phone, which is against his ear. How did this happen? Did his body force him to do this? Oh god, Nagito must be annoying Hinata~Kun!

"Oh god," Nagito mumbled, earning a confused sound from Hinata~Kun on the other side, "I'm so sorry, Hinata~Kun! I was sitting here and...and I think I blacked out...? I think my body made me call you! I'll hang up now-"

"W...wait," his voice was very soft but Nagito caught it quickly before moving his phone away. His grip on the phone tightened at the silence before Hinata~Kun spoke again.

"I...I actually need someone to talk to," Nagito felt his heart skip for a moment; Hinata~Kun is having a bad night too? and of all people, the brunette wants to vent to Nagito?

"Well, if you really wanna talk to trash like me, I'm all ears!" Nagito forced optimism for the sake of the other boy. Hinata~Kun must've not caught Nagito's bad habit, he didn't react to it at all. Although Nagito doesn't like trusting someone too much, he knew he would've said something...Hinata~Kun really is upset.

"Komaeda," Nagito perked up to his last name, "am...am I boring? Dull? Just...nothing?"

Nagito's heart dropped for him as he quickly started speaking, 

"Hinata~Kun, of course, you're not! Not to me at least! You saved me from that bully, you...you've said and done so much for me in less than a week than anyone ever has in my life! You're so full of hope, even if you feel like this!"

"But I'm pathetic. I can't even order my own food sometimes."

"But that's okay!" Hajime stopped, he paused the thoughts and listened to Komaeda.

"I don't know much about anxiety but I see where you're coming from! Again, if you were to ever want to hang out with me, I would help you with that always!" Hajime's eyes got wet as he stared at the floor, trying to keep back the sniffles and his shaking form from collapsing onto the couch. 

"Ko..."

"Y...yes?" He wasn't sure if Komaeda sounded flustered or nervous.

"Thank you so much."

"Of course, Hinata~Kun!"

"So uhm...about hanging out..."

"yeah?"

"Wanna hang out on Friday?"

Chapter Text

Nagito's schedule was completely different from Hajime's; wake up (or get up if he couldn't sleep), scroll through his phone, eat, shower, and get dressed. Usually, he'd stuff his school bag under his bed but this time, he couldn't find it. 

Nagito searched his entire dorm room but it was missing. He sighed, just my luck, he thought, grimly. He pocketed his phone in his uniform pocket (which he wish he didn't have to wear) and walked out, hoping he'd come across his bag in one of his classes; maybe he left it behind by accident. 

On the way to his first class, he noticed an ahoge that seemed too familiar coming at him, and before he could look down, the person who had the piece of hair sticking out bumped into him; Nagito was really unsure as to why he didn't move...

"Ah! I'm sorry- Komaeda?" Makoto Naegi.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Naegi, that trash like me ran into you!" Nagito bowed in apology to the shorter one, who gave him a confused smile. 

"Aw don't call yourself that! That's not nice to yourself," Naegi commented, smiling kindly to Nagito. The taller one could only pull a fake smile. 

"Oh! I actually wanted to find you!" Naegi suddenly blurted out.

"Oh?" Why would such a hopeful person like Naegi need to talk to someone like Nagito?

"Hajime texted me late last night but I was asleep and he's not answering his phone, could you check on him? If you want to of course!" Naegi's face twisted with guilt as he felt his question was more of a demand. Nagito remembered last night; Hinata~Kun let out his overthinking thoughts to Nagito...did that mean he trusted Nagito? He of course said yes to hanging out (Nagito forgot about that until now and is trying to suppress his excited smile now), they talked a little more before Hinata~Kun said he was tired and hung up after their 'goodbye's'. 

"Of course I'll go look for him, where is he?" Naegi smiled widely and told him where Hinata~Kun was before a tall blonde boy in Naegi's class yelled at Naegi to get to class (how was a boy in the lower year taller than Nagito!?) and Naegi thanked Nagito and ran passed him. The albino rushed to a set of stairs to get to Hinata~Kun's first-period class before the first bell could ring.

He usually walked down the Reserve Course hallways to feel superior but when it came to Hinata~Kun, he still felt lowly...probably because Hinata~Kun stood up for him when Nagito couldn't do that for himself. The boy slipped passed the lower students as the atmosphere seemed to become darker, the silence of their hallways sending shivers down Nagito's spine. Once he found the class, he peeked in when he noticed the doors were open to see two students in the face of another...in the face of Hinata~Kun.

"Please, I don't want to fight or anything!" The brunette shouted in a plea, trying to slip by the two students, both male. They blocked his every move, keeping him cornered against the wall. Nagito couldn't see his face but he knew the boy was probably terrified.

"You should've thought about that before bumping into me!" One yelled.

"I...I didn't...I...Mean..."

"'uh uh uh', all you do is stutter, speak clearly!"

Nagito's blood was boiling, he's never felt this much anger before but he didn't have a plan...

"P...Please, I can't...I don't..."

He can hear Hinata~Kun hyperventilating. He has to step in now.

Hajime didn't mean to run into him, he swore on his own life. The book he was reading got interesting as he walked in the hallway to his class. His class in the morning was always empty! How was he supposed to know these two guys were supposed to be there and that their tempers were short? He thought this was where he died, in this room, by these boys in front of him, threatening him just because he bumped into one of them. His vision was blacking out and the air in his lungs was going away faster than he wanted it to; he can't get a grip on his beating heart...his lungs slipping air in and out each second that passed by.

"Quit faking that shit! God, you're so fake!"

"please-"

"Just punch him, man, he'll shut up then."

"No-" Hajime's blacking out, he can't stop crying from the fear he feels. He felt like his heart was beating in his throat, threatening to come out and leave. Silently, Hajime began begging...someone save me, please, even if it's someone who hates me!

"Excuse me?" 

All three heads looked at a white-haired boy, whose smile was gentle but threatening, walking towards them. Hajime blinked away at the dark void forming in his eyes to try and see who his savior was.

"K...Ko?"

"I need to ask you to please step away from my friend and go on with your lives," Komaeda began, softly.

"What's an Ultimate doing down here?" one boy asked the other; of course they weren't dumb; the uniforms were very different from each other. An Ultimate's uniform was light brown with a green vest underneath the blazer and a red tie tucked in while the Reserve Course Students only had a simple black uniform. 

"I was coming to check on my friend," Komaeda closed his eyes for a moment, "You know...my Ultimate could shape your life right now."

"Oh, yeah?" One of the boys sneered. 

"Of course," Komaeda opened his eyes and Hajime had never seen him look so calm yet so threatening. If his anxiety wasn't overwhelming him, he'd be pretty turned on, "I could be anything. I could be the Ultimate Boxer, Knife Designer, even the Ultimate Cleaner...they know how to get stains out of anywhere and anything..."

Nevermind, Hajime is sort of turned on now, his anxiety be damned.

The boys looked at each other and suddenly, they were shy and backing out of their situation. Hajime didn't realize the one had a grip on his shirt until he was released.

"haha, it was a harmless prank! Got you, Hinata!" 

"Oh yeah! Joke! haha!" They ran out of the room quickly after their claims and Hajime could finally breathe. Unfortunately, his legs went weak and he fell onto his knees, groaning in pain at the impact. The brunette wiped the tears away with his sleeves as Komaema gently approached him and sat in front of him, giving him a kind look as he waited patiently for Hajime to speak.

"Ko, what are you...you doing here?" Hajime scolded his stuttering, he was still catching his breath from his attack.

"Naegi told me to check on you, good thing too," Komaeda gave a genuine smile as his hand reached out to Hajime's cheek, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop coming down. Hajime automatically leaned into the touch without even noticing it as his chest hiccuped, trying to breathe normally again. Komaeda's face went red at Hajime's reaction and the pale hand left him as soon as it came, gently leaving tingles on where it was on Hajime's cheek. 

"W...why?" Hajime asked suddenly.

"'Why'?" Komaeda echoed, seemingly out of reality for a moment.

"Why did...Makoto want you to ch...check on me?"

"Oh! that," Komaeda gave a light chuckle, "he said you hadn't messaged him back."

"oh yeah...I haven't even checked my phone," Hajime gave a pathetic raspy laugh as he put his hand on the wall to help him stand. Komaeda watched him, putting his hands out, just in case Hajime fell. They were both standing as Hajime breathed out a sigh, his heart back in its place as his shaking body calmed.

"I'm sorry," he looked at Komaeda, apologetically. 

"Aw, Hinata~Kun, you don't have to apologize!" Hajime smiled at Komaeda, eyes full of gratefulness.

"Thanks, Ko," Komaeda nodded, turning around as he waved Hajime goodbye...

No, not yet...

"w...wait," Komaeda stopped, spinning around quickly as if Hajime was about to break down again and he was prepared for it.

"Ko."

"Are you okay, Hinata~Kun?"

"Could..." Hajime gulped, hoping he wasn't crossing any boundaries by asking, "could, if you want, you hug me?"

The white-haired boys' face went red again but he smiled before quickly covering it.

"Of course!" Komaeda walked back to him and opened his arms for Hajime to hug first. The brunette noticed how genuine it was; Komaeda, he felt, looked like someone who did things for others' benefits...but right now, he looked content with hugging Hajime. That's all Hajime wanted to feel; welcomed.

Hajime dove into Komaeda's chest, who wrapped his arms around Hajime's back, gently. One of the boys' hands softly rubbed Hajime's back up and down in a comforting manner. Hajime tried to remember the last time someone hugged him or at least hugged him this lovingly- well, in Komaeda's case, so gently. Of course, Makoto hugged him when they saw each other last but this just feels...different. 

"Can I ask...what you texted Naegi? and when?" Komaeda's head gently went on Hajime's shoulder. He barely felt it go there until he spoke; Komaeda must also be wondering if it was okay to put his head there in the first place. Hajime didn't mind it, it was just new.

"I must've texted him before you called...I probably did;t notice it so he could've messaged me during our call, as for what..." Hajime trailed off, his face burying into Komaeda's shoulder.

"It's a family matter."

"Ah, of course," Komaeda changed the subject quickly, "as much as this ruins the mood, I wonder why you wanted a hug from someone like me."

"Ko," Hajime pulled out from his shoulder to glare at him. Komaeda gave a sheepish smile.

"Oh, sorry. I forgot you didn't like that. No one has ever corrected me on it either," Komaeda pulled away entirely, leaving Hajime to suddenly feel unwelcomed as his warmth left him.

"I'm sorry, Hinata~Kun but we can hug all we want on Friday!" Hajime smiled a bit, remembering the plan.

"Oh shoot, we didn't discuss where we'd hang out-" Komaeda gave him a chuckle.

"Don't worry about that, Hinata~Kun, I'll take you somewhere! Now, I've got to go before the bell rings! Be safe today!" Komaeda then disappeared as quickly a he appeared that morning, leaving Hajime to sigh and endure the day ahead; more staring.

***

Hajime woke up to his alarm going off, just like every day...but it was Friday. The brunette couldn't really comprehend how quickly the week went on; Makoto was glad his cousin was okay, from what Komaeda said. Throughout the rest of the week, Komaeda would show up in the mornings and chat with Hajime. It was always unexpected; no one has ever done that...take time out of their day to just talk with him. Komaeda would always start with, 'how's your morning?' and sit at a desk in front of Hajime. Then he'd leave two minutes before the bell rang. It was comforting to know Komaeda was doing this out of his own free will.

or...was he? Hajime wouldn't know; Komaeda could be trying to gain his trust to smash it, stab him in the back-

shut up, Hajime.

okay...

He rolled out of bed and got ready, trying to keep his overthinking in the back of his head.

Before he knew it, he was at his desk, classroom empty. Why was this day going fast? Maybe he was really excited to hang out with Komaeda?

"Hinata~Kun!" Speak of the angel.

"Good morning, Ko," Hajime smiled, closing his book and putting it in his bag as he watched Komaeda make his way to the desk in front of him.

"How is your morning?" There's the daily question.

"Honestly, it was super quick, I was in bed and suddenly, I'm here, it felt like," Hajime chuckled a bit, "How is yours?"

"How coincidental! Mine is the same way! I'm probably excited to see you tonight," The brunette sighed in relief; thank god he wasn't the only one.

"I have work right after school, should last about six hours so...how does meeting up at my dorm at 8:40 sound?" Hajime's eyes stared at the desk, scared of a random piece of backlash from Komaeda.

"That works! I have to meet with someone anyways after school," Komaeda said instead of backlashing. Why was Hajime so worried? Oh yeah, anxiety.

Their conversation meshed together as Komaeda had suddenly started talking about his classmates and Hajime listened, chiming in to ask questions when he needed to. Students began walking in, chatting amongst themselves. This signaled Komaeda to leave and he waved the brunette goodbye. After Hajime watched the boy leave. a tap on his shoulder startled him to turn around.

"You're friends with an Ultimate? A trans-Ultimate?" The girl behind him didn't seem familiar, nor important to him but the sneer and judgment on her face told him all he needed to know.

"Yeah, I am. Check yourself before you judge others, sweetie,"  Hajime turned around in his seat and his eyes shot open in shock, realizing what he had said. Before he could scold himself, the teacher walked in, shouting the lesson plan for today.

Once again, classes sped by, leaving Hajime in his lunch location as he read his book. Rumors went around quickly from that girl from this morning and people were asking him all kinds of questions...good and bad.

Either they were transphobic, homophobic, or an ally. He hadn't seen this much judgmental looks towards him since he accidentally came out during a family reunion. Thinking about it made his face warm up; that was absolutely embarrassing. Before he could think more about it, the sound of a sliding door opened, making Hajime's head perk up to see his friend, Nanami.

"Nanami?" His eyebrows furrowed as he closed his book.

"What're you doing here?"

"I forgot to tell you," Nanami closed the door, ensuring privacy, "on Monday, I meant to warn you..."

"N...Nanami?" her face was twisted with worry all of a sudden.

"I don't think you'd hurt Komaeda but he can be strange. He has his reasons, of course," Nanami took a seat in the desk in front of Hajime, avoiding eye contact, "sometimes, he goes on these rants about 'hope'...or if he's asked something about his past, he just starts laughing uncontrollably." 

"o...okay?" Hajime mumbled, taking in the information. He didn't think it all sounded bad but if Nanami, a girl who doesn't really seem bothered by too many things, is warning him about these things, he should take them into account.

"I think he likes you a lot, Hinata," Hajime's face suddenly heated up at the words, "he's never hung out with someone so much, it's cute. But please take what I said not so loosely."

"of course, I won't," Hajime stuttered out, "but 'hope' rants?"

"He'll go on and on about how 'hope will conquer despair' and things like that. That's all I can say about him. Everything else needs to be told by him."

"Understandable...thanks Nanami," she gave him her usual tired look again.

"I know you won't hurt him."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Have a good weekend, Hinata!" she's gone.

what??

***

"So," Souda started, leaning against his cashier. School had ended three hours ago, Hajime had been counting the time in his head to make sure he was on time for tonight. 

"Going on a date with Komaeda, huh?"

"It's not a date, Souda," Hajime bagged the buyers' items they chose, glancing at them as they spoke.

"That's not what he said. Well, he actually didn't specify what it was but that's not important," Souda rang up the amount from the customer, "that'll be 39.23, ma'am."

"H...he was talking about it?" Hajime's face flushed pink, holding back a smile; Komaeda was talking about him of all people?

"Dude, he wouldn't stop!"

"What...did he say?" Hajime pushed, knowing full well Souda was as bad as Makoto with keeping secrets. The customer, meanwhile, paid for her things and took her cart, pushing it out of the store as another customer walked up.

"something about 'I can't wait to hang out with Hinata~Kun, I'm going to take him to my favorite Cafe and hopefully convince him to try out one of their best drinks'," that's way too precise to put a something about in the beginning.

"I told him you did like coffee and he was bouncing off the walls," Souda slid the customers' items across the bar scanner and bagged them, "metaphorically."

Hajime let out a chuckle, looking at the ground as he thought about it; Komaeda wanted to take him somewhere...he had forgotten about that plan. Komaeda wanted to...freely by his will. His heart skipped a few beats thinking about it. 

"Oi, what's with that weird smile on your face, Hinata?" Souda snapped him out of it.

"I...I don't have a weird smile! You're imagining it!" Hajime pouted, crossing his arms.

"Okay, you Tsundere," Souda laughed before saying the customers' total.

The next customer came up and Hajime watched Souda's eyes go wide.

"Tanaka?" Hajime looked at the customer; his hair was black with a white streak on one side of it. He looked up from his sleeve and seemed to show little interest in looking at Souda.  

"Ah, Souda," WHY IS HIS VOICE SO DEEP, WTF, Hajime's first thought yelled, "unpleasant meeting you here."

"same goes to you, jerk," but when Hajime looked at Souda, there was no hate in his usually wild eyes, just neutral...or even a hint of pain?

Souda was silent, ringing up his items, and watched as the boy left. The line had ended there for their cashier so Hajime took this moment to ask questions.

"Who was that?" the brunette asked, looking at Souda, who leaned against the counter. 

"Gundham Tanaka," Souda sighed, "don't even push about it."

"Alright," Hajime looked at Souda, realizing how sad he looked. Why? Who was this person? What did he do to Souda?

"Anyways, I'm going on break, I need a moment alone," Souda's hands found their way into his pockets as he avoided looking at Hajime. He turned around and walked to the bathroom, leaving Hajime confused. He didn't like seeing Souda sad, let alone, he never had seen him sad. He sighed; nothing could be done so he left Souda alone and went to the storage room to stock items back up. 

Time sped up once again. At this point, Hajime felt like a time traveler, speeding through time like this. He could only hope it wouldn't be like that when he got to hang out with Komaeda. Hajime waved Souda goodbye after Hajime's bus arrived and he rode it to his dorm.

Was this a date? 

Is that up to Hajime? He was the one who asked him to go out but why would Komaeda be interested in Hajime that way? Besides, they met last week, they really should get to know each other before anything else. That still didn't stop Hajime from worrying about what to wear. He's dug around in his closet about three times already; one pair of jeans was chosen and three kinds of t-shirts laid on his bed. How boring. Hah, I sound like Izuru.

Hajime put away his lime green t-shirt after coming to the conclusion that it was too bright for a night out. While putting it away, his eye caught a plaid, long-sleeved shirt on the floor of his closet. Hajime picked it up and held it out; black strips with red fabric, casual for a day out. Yet, he couldn't remember if he had worn this at all. He didn't recognize it but he smiled to himself as a thought came up, this will make me look less boring!

After choosing a black shirt to go under the plaid shirt, he got dressed. He rushed to his bathroom and looked in the mirror; his ahoge was still untamed as ever but he saw confidence in his reflection...this plaid shirt seemed to have done that. Before a second thought, he heard knocking faintly on his front door. Hajime shut his bathroom door, grabbed his phone, his house keys, and shut all the lights off before opening his door and peeking to see Komaeda standing there.

Komaeda's hair was as wild as his but it was held back in a small ponytail, he wore a red sweater that went over his knuckles and hung below his hips with black skinny jeans and brown boots with zippers. Hajime didn't pay too much attention to his outfit, what he noticed (and was absolutely in love with but won't admit it) were Komaeda's glasses.

"Hello, Hinata~Kun!" Nagito greeted, smiling. The brunette stood there, face slightly pink as he stared at him. Nagito tensed.

"Oh, sorry! I just, I didn't know you had glasses," Hinata~Kun put his head down, hiding his flushed face, "and your ponytail."

"I didn't feel like putting on my contacts and I felt like my hair would draw too much attention in public...if you want me to take these off-"

"Please don't!" The brunette suddenly yelped, his face growing red. Nagito felt his own face warming up.

"I'm sorry, It's just," again, he put his head down, "it's...cute." 

Nagito's heart stopped and time froze. Cute? Someone thinks...I'm cute?  His mind felt flooded with all kinds of emotions, he didn't know how to feel. He had never been called cute before unless it was from before he transitioned and when his previous relationship would...

Don't think about that, just cherish the moment.

"Hinata~Kun..." from his name, he looked up, face as red as a tomato. Nagito let out a chuckle, uncontrollably. How does he react to this? Before any more laughs could slip out, he hid them behind a cough.

"I'm...touched, no one has ever called me that so genuinely!" Nagito played with his sleeves, hoping Hinata~Kun wasn't messing with him. 

"Really? That's a bit hard to believe..." Hinata~Kun replied with a small chuckle. 

"Anyways," Nagito shrugged off the doubt from the brunette, "let's head out! Follow me!"

Hinata~Kun nodded, checking his jean pockets and feeling his dorm keys in his left front pocket before locking the door behind him and following Nagito. 

Chapter Text

They rode the bus into a deeper part of the city and Komaeda kept Hajime in the dark about where this cafe was so the brunette didn’t push. The night was already dark due to it being closer to the winter season, so the buildings lit the paths around them, lighting up the night sky as well. Hajime looked at Komaeda, who sat beside him, smiling idly down at his boots. The brunette felt himself melting from his soul; those black-rimmed square glasses on the other boy made him turn into jello. Hajime didn’t know why his heart was pounding so hard whenever he looked at him…

“Ah, this is our stop!” Komaeda grabbed Hajime’s tan hand, interrupting his thoughts, and rushed forward to the front of the bus. Hajime’s green eyes never looked away from their hands. God, his thoughts mumbled, what is this feeling?!

Komaeda let go once they were in front of a small cafe, a brown tan building next to brightly colored ones. It didn’t fit in too well with its surrounding scenery but without the crazy colored buildings next to it, it could be a great place to sit in and watch cars go by on the road on an early morning. Komaeda led him in and the aroma attacked Hajime’s nose, making him addicted to coffee more than he already was.

“Thanks to Souda,” Komaeda began, standing behind someone to wait in line, “I found out that you like coffee!”

“‘Like’ is the understatement of the century,” Hajime chuckled. Komaeda’s eyes lit up as if that was the best news ever.

“That’s great! Can I make a few suggestions?”

After Hajime nodded, permitting him and Komaeda began listing off his favorites as the line moved slowly. Hajime tried to pay attention to the rest of the list but with each step, he was rehearsing what he wanted to order, something mint...crap! He forgot it! What was the one Komaeda said that was mint?! Once they were up at the counter, Komaeda started. Hajime’s heart pounded; he’s going to look so stupid now in front of a whole space of strangers! He might even look disrespectful in some ways!

“...and one mocha mint coffee for my friend.”

Mocha! It was mocha!

…

Wait-

His eyes shot open and he looked at Komaeda, who pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and looked for the amount he needed. 

“Did...did you just order for me?” Hajime’s throat went dry, watching Komaeda’s hands slip the woman taking their order a ten-dollar bill then look at him with a warm smile.

“Of course.”

“But...how’d you know I wanted that?”

“Your head picked up a little and you looked like you were thinking ‘that one’, I dunno,” Komaeda chuckled, “I guess I just read your mind! Was that okay?”

“Y...yeah...but you didn’t have to…”

“Hinata~Kun, I wanted to, just for you to have a good and calm day.”

Wanted to…

“Here are your drinks,” the woman at the counter slid their drinks in front of them.

“Thanks!” Komaeda grabbed his coffee and waited for Hajime to grab the other.

“Thank you,” The brunette mumbled and shuffled beside Komaeda and they sat at a seat in the corner of the cafe. Komaeda drank his drink, slowly, closing his eyes in the process as if savoring the taste. Hajime couldn’t judge, he does the same thing. Warily, he looked down at his mug; the smell was, of course, minty and coffee, lightly steaming. He carefully wrapped his hands around it, feeling the warmth of the coffee welcome his hands as he lifted it to his lips, tasting.

Nagito watched him, eyes wide in hope. Mocha Mint Coffee was one of his favorites, top five on the list, if anything, so he hoped that Hinata~Kun liked it too. He watched the boy place the mug down, staring at it, blankly, as his tongue slowly went across his top lip. Suddenly, he smiled widely and looked at Nagito.

“This is amazing!” The white-haired boy felt his breath collapse out of his mouth (although he didn’t even realize he was holding his breath).

“Right? I was hoping you’d say that!” Nagito could hardly contain his excitement as he rambled on about, well, coffee.

Hajime loved it. The brunette adored him, that was something he couldn’t deny. Komaeda went on a coffee rant about four minutes ago and counting, speaking so passionately about how coffee is the taste of hope and feels like warm hugs. 

“Ko! You could be a barista!” Hajime blurted out. Komaeda took a sip of his coffee with a smile.

“Yeah, that’s one of my goals,” his smile faded slightly, “but I wouldn’t want to affect my coworkers and drag them behind because of my luck cycle.”

“Well-”

“ Hey!” Their heads spun in the direction of the voice shouting at them. It was an older woman, carrying a warm coffee in her hand with a younger girl behind her.

“Listen, this is our spot,” the woman started, the girl behind her crossed her arms. Hajime raised his eyebrows in question.

“Your spot?” Komaeda inquired, tilting his head slightly.

“We sit here every Friday night, I don’t see you two being regulars so beat it,” the girl perked up, hand on her hip.

“It’s...it’s just a table,” Hajime mumbled, looking at Komaeda in utter confusion, who shrugged back.

“Actually, I’m a morning regular,” Komaeda smiled kindly at them, “but with all due respect, this is just a spot in a cafe, there are many other seats-”

“ It’s our spot!” the two yelled in unison. People were beginning to stare at the situation unfolding, causing Hajime to hide behind his arms that were resting on the table. 

“What seems to be the problem here?” A worker walked up, her hands folded in front of her as she looked dully between the woman and girl.

“These losers took our spot, move them!” The teen girl demanded. What a blow to Hajime’s already shattered ego…

“It’s no big deal, we can move,” Komaeda stood quickly as if he read Hajime’s mind. Honestly, he probably did. 

“We’ll be out of your way, madam’s, apologies,” Komaeda gave a small bow in respect and grabbed his cup, walking over to a different table in a cool manner, as if he was used to this.

Hajime sighed, grabbed his mug, and stood, going to follow Komaeda-

SPLASH!

It burns.

The girl in front of him laughed at his expression, which was probably a mix between utter pain at the fact that he had hot coffee poured on his thighs and disgust in humanity. His thighs were burning but not hot enough to cause burn scars. Thank god she didn’t hit his...just thank whatever god.

He didn’t even know she had a cup…not until he’s staring at it in her hand while she giggled.

“Hinata!” Komaeda rushed beside him immediately, grabbing his mug and placing it on a table. He hurried to grab napkins.

“Get out!” someone yelled.

“Whaaat?” the girl groaned

“That was very uncalled for!” Scolded the older woman. She turned to Hajime, who was now sitting on a chair with Komaeda wiping his jeans off with napkins, carefully.

“We’re so sorry, please, I can-”

“Just go,” Komaeda’s head jerked up, looking at the woman. His face was hidden to Hajime but he could feel his aura; hatred. Utter hatred towards this lady and her daughter (presumably). They stared at him then shuffled out, the girl giving Hajime one last sneer smile before disappearing out the door. 

“Hinata, are you okay?” Honestly? Hajime was dazed. This had never happened before and he couldn’t understand why it happened. He nodded, slightly, then watched as Komaeda grabbed all the used napkins and threw them away.

Hajime blacked out, still conscious but a husk being carried around by Komaeda. The manager came over and apologized to them profusely. He gave them a full refund as an apology (and a way not to get sued) and Komaeda wrapped his arms around Hajime’s waist as they walked out. 

The burning stopped when they sat on a bench, the cool night wind blew gently, which helped the heat of his hot skin cool down.

“Hinata~Kun, I’m so sorry,” Komaeda’s eyes were glassy when Hajime looked at him.

“Huh? Why?”

“My luck…” Komaeda looked down to his lap in shame, fists curling up in front of him.

“Ko,” Hajime got his attention, gently grabbing the clenched pale fist, “Ko, it’s not your fault. Don’t fight with me on this one.” 

The other boy sighed and nodded, leaving that topic alone. His fists loosened and they found their hands in the others’ palm. Warm, welcoming, safe…

“Are you okay?” Komaeda asked, looking into Hajime’s eyes as if that’d help catch the lie that the brunette wasn’t going to tell. Hajime nodded.

“I’m honestly just confused,” he admitted with a small laugh, “why are people so petty?”

“I don’t know.”

“It was kinda funny to see their faces when you told them to go,” Hajime chuckled, letting his beating heart calm down. Komaeda laughed lightly with him, gripping his hand in his own. safe, protected…

“Hey, Ko? Do you want to come over for the rest of the night?” Komaeda’s face went pink, his mouth opened in slight awe before he replied.

“Like, a sleepover? Why?” 

“Well, I need a shower but I didn’t want this day to end quickly,” Komaeda’s face looked dumbfounded and Hajime felt stupid for even suggesting it, “I...If you want to, of course! I didn’t mean to sound so-!”

“Ah, Hinata~Kun! I’d be so happy to spend the night with someone as hopeful as you!” Komaeda’s smile reached ear from ear, the grip on Hajime’s hand tightened. Safe, so safe, just with you-

He mentally slapped himself, feeling a tingling feeling all over his body, especially his arms. What the hell…?

Komaeda paid for the bus ride back, the boys unconsciously holding hands still. On the dark bus, Hajime watched their hands be still; they fit so well, like the perfect puzzle pieces completing the puzzle in each others’ palms...what would they look like with fingers intertwined he wondered? 

“Oh!” Komaeda’s hand disappeared from his suddenly, causing Hajime to be surprised by the sudden disconnection.

“I’m sorry, Hinata~Kun! I didn’t realize…” 

Hajime wanted to beg for it back but held the thought in the back of his mind and smiled at Komaeda.

“It’s no problem at all!” Now please put it back-

They came to their stop and got off, heading to the school and its dorms.

After they got into Hajime’s home, he told Komaeda where everything was just in case, such as the TV, his bookshelf, the emergency exit in the hall (although Komaeda confirmed that nothing would happen), and the kitchen. Hajime took a quick shower, feeling his still tender thighs that stung red. Yeah, those will be sore for a bit, the brunette thought with a sigh. He then proceeded to wash his scrawny body.

When he got out, he walked out in a pale navy blue sweater and plaid PJ pants. He peeked out to find Komaeda going through a picture book, which the brunette could only guess was his family photo book that was on his forgotten bookshelf.

Out of habit, the boy looked over at his front door and walked over to check on the locked door... unlocked, locked, unlocked...oh no…

Locked...unlocked...locked...unlocked…

Safety, safety for both of them.

“Uh, Hinata~Kun?” 

Locked.

“Yes?” Hajime looked up to see that his guest was looking at him, confused, the leather photobook was back in its place on his bookshelf.

“Hinata~Kun, we’re safe.”

Hajime wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. He knew they were safe, of course, they were. They lived in Hope’s Peak Academy Dorms, no way was the school unprotected by any means...but still, anything could happen, probably something they wouldn’t expect once they were asleep.

“I know,” Hajime looked back at the lock, confirming it was locked once more then walked over to Komaeda and stood beside him, resisting the urge to explain himself and his weird habits because Komaeda knew and understood.

He understands.

“Have anything you want to do?” Hajime asked. 

“Oh, Hinata~Kun, this is your house! Let’s do something you want to do!” Komaeda gave an innocent smile.

“Are...you hungry at all?” Please say yes, I’ll cook for you.

“A bit, why?”

Hinata~Kun looked like he leaped into the air by the answer and his smile stretched across his face. Suddenly, he disappeared into the kitchen.

“Hinata~Kun?” Nagito called after the boy.

“Stay in there and watch TV, I’ll make you something!” He called back. Nagito’s heart swiveled.

“Aw, no, please, you don’t have to!” Hinata~Kun peeked his head out with a small smile that Nagito could just embrace.

“But I want to.”

Nagito couldn’t fight back the goofy smile at his line being handed back to him.

“Fine.”

Nagito flipped through the channels, finding nothing as interesting as the scenery around him but Hinata~Kun told him to watch TV so he would...attempt to. He eventually took off his sweater and bundled it up next to him and he wore an oversized white shirt underneath. He didn’t know why he felt comfortable enough to even take it off but he didn’t think about it too much. 

“Ko! It’s finished!” Hinata~Kun called from the kitchen. Nagito smelled the air but couldn’t put a finger on the delicious yet simple smell that flowed in the air. He stood up, leaving the remote on the couch as he shuffled his way into the kitchen. He walked in on a smiling Hinata~Kun, who bounced in his place. Nagito noticed white power all up his arms, which had rolled up sleeves above them.

“What did you make?” Nagito asked, tilting his head.

“I know it doesn’t sound super interesting but,” Hinata~Kun moved out of the way to show freshly baked bread, sliced pieces cut perfectly with a side of mashed potatoes, “ta-da!” 

Nagito couldn’t help but stare at the two plates; it was a simple mix but the smell of the cooked bread smelled way too fresh to be just thrown into the oven from a package, just like the potatoes. In the corner of his eye, he saw Hinata~Kun’s excitement falter with each passing second that Nagito stared. 

“I...I’ve never made anything on my own, I wanted to make bread from scratch and mash the potatoes by myself but I haven’t gotten to get to do it until now,” he looked down, playing with his fingers.

“You made the bread from scratch? ” Nagito asked, eyes wide with awe as he stared at Hinata~Kun.

“Yeah but...I know it’s nothing impressive-”

“You made bread from scratch and mashed the potatoes from scratch,” the pale boy hummed, feeling the words function into his brain, “all because I was here?”

“Well, yeah, I,” Hinata~Kun’s face went red as his body leaned back onto the counter, avoiding looking at Nagito, “I wanted to impress you.”

Was there nothing that this boy could say that wouldn’t make Nagito’s heart soar? What was he doing to him? His lips quirked, feeling the laughter bubble up in his throat...he couldn’t stop it. He tried but it was inevitable. He even tried to cover his mouth but the muffled laughter could easily be heard.

Hajime was more than confused; he expected him to have a laughing episode like Nanami warned him about but she said it happened when he was speaking about his past...or maybe this makes him think about his past? Has anyone done this for him before? Hajime doubted that with how much he minimizes himself but he wished that wasn’t true; Komaeda deserved all the kindness, he felt. Hajime waited, patiently, the laughter dying down after a few moments, possibly a minute, of it going.

“How...how are you unfazed?” Komaeda questioned, catching his breath. 

“Well, Nanami warned me about that but she didn’t say anything else,” Hajime replied, checking the food to find it still warm and ready to devour.

“O...oh,” Komaeda looked down, mouth agape as he stared at his feet, he looked like he was going to say something else but nothing came out.

“Ko, you don’t have to tell me anything, honestly. Only tell me things that have happened to you until you’re comfortable doing so, alright?” This made Komaeda look up, shocked.

He’s so used to explaining his habits and actions, forcibly, to make the other person disgusted with him...but Hinata~Kun already knows he’s trans and Nagito knew he wasn’t disgusted by that nor his luck...but what would he think of his past? His home life and family? How easily fooled he was when he was head over heels in love?

“Okay, Hinata~Kun,” Nagito felt his head nod, numbly, the memories of his life sliding into his brain like a needle. 

“So,” Hinata~Kun clapped his hands, a gentle smile slipping into his face, “want to eat?”

“Of course!”

Nagito never ate such delicious food, even if it was as simple as the boy who made it. But everything he ate was packaged or already made. Hinata~Kun made these from scratch to impress him of all people. 

While they ate, Hinata~Kun put on a Marvel movie, the first iron Man movie (after Nagito told him he never watched the Marvel movies). The Japanese subtitles were on for Hinata~Kun, who claimed he was almost failing his English class while Nagito excelled in his.

The movie was fun to watch, he supposed, but looking over to Hinata~Kun smiling at the funny parts or his eyes watching intensely at the action scenes was so much better to Nagito. Once the movie was over, Hinata~Kun grabbed their plates and did the dishes in the kitchen, leaving Nagito on the couch, feeling his arms up and down. 

The TV was turned off after the credits rolled so he stared at the black screen. Something in him felt guilty; Hinata~Kun opened up to him about his anxiety a bit, why couldn’t Nagito be comfortable with telling him his entire life story yet?

He honestly already knew that answer…

“Alright, Ko,” the brunette came in, hands on his hips, “I was thinking that since you’re the guest, you should sleep on my bed-”

“No!” 

“Ko-”

“Hinata~Kun, I could never take your bed! Someone like me doesn’t deserve such kindness!”

“You do, Komaeda,” the brunette mumbled under his breath, scared of asserting the fact but still being stubborn.

“I’d be scared if you got anxious without your bed!” Komaeda added, quickly.

“I want you to be comfortable, Ko,” Hajime shot back. They sat in silence as if thinking of some sort of compromise. 

“What if we slept on the same bed then?” Komaeda suggested quietly. 

“S...same be...bed?” His face went hot, fake images of snuggling up with Komaeda, against his chest, smelling his smell-

Get a hold of yourself, Hajime!

“I’m sorry,” Komaeda started, “I shouldn’t have suggested that.”

“Well, it’d work. My bed is pretty big,” Hajime pretended his thoughts didn’t corrupt his heart, making his body tingle in a pleasant feeling of bliss. 

That was the most awkward part; getting in bed with another person. Both of them kept their distance for a bit, both of them playing on their phones, obviously not tired yet so they wanted to pass time. Hajime hated the awkward atmosphere around them but before he could google on his phone on what to do, there was a shift in his bed and Komaeda’s voice rose from his spot.

“It feels unfair.”

Hajime put his phone under his pillow and turned his body around to face him. His glasses were off and wrapped around his red sweater, which sat on the couch in the living room. His hairband was around his skinny wrist so his hair went wild on the pillow under him. 

“What...feels unfair?” Hajime asked in a hushed tone.

“That I know a little more about you but you don’t know anything about me that isn’t from someone else.”

“Well, it’s a good thing Nanami didn’t say too much then, right?” the brunette scooted closer to the other and Komaeda reflected him, scooting closer as well.

“You don’t have to tell me anything though, not unless you want to.”

“I want to. It’s nothing but can I?”

“Of course.”

Komaeda took a deep breath as if bracing for the words that were going to come out of his mouth.

“My parents died in a plane crash two years ago.”

That really didn't sound like "nothing".

Goosebumps went up Hajime’s body, the words fell flat and heavy, and he looked at his eyes, seeing Komaeda avoiding eye contact as those greyish eyes were dulled in sorrow.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Well, it was my luck that did that,” Komaeda shrugged, “my aunt and uncle got our home and they erased their entire existence in our home. They,” his voice shook but he gulped it down as Hajime listened, “they burned our family portraits, anything they owned, anything that had them in it. They raided every inch of that house except my room, where I only have one picture.”

“Why would they do that?” Hajime asked, inching his body closer to Komaeda.

“I think it was jealousy, my aunt and my mom were always fighting before...if I’m being honest, the last two years of my life have been so bad,” Nagito laughed a bit to ease the intense sadness that weighed on his broken heart. 

“Because of your aunt and uncle?” the brunette asked.

“I moved out, I got a dorm here,” Nagito confirmed, “but...I was dating someone the year they died. She took full advantage of how vulnerable I was...her and her sister.”

“ Her?”

“Funny story actually, the one I dated dressed up as a guy to trick me.”

“Ko, that’s not funny,” Hinata~Kun frowned, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“I guess not,” Nagito felt relief that he didn’t find it funny at all, “It was four months after their deaths that I found out. They vowed to make my life hell in highschool…”

“Did they?”

“They were the ones who spread my secret around.”

“Oh no,” His voice was so hushed, it calmed Nagito’s racing mind. 

“I think,” tears slid down his cheeks, suddenly, “I think my parents loved me, I loved them too but that’s...that’s what got them killed.”

He choked, breaking down at last. Tears running down with no end as he started to sob. Hinata~Kun’s arms wrapped around him and Nagito dove into his curvy chest, muffling his ugly sobs. 

Hajime’s heart broke. It just shattered for Komaeda, who sobbed in his arms, his back lifting with his breath only to release more cries. The brunette never comforted anyone before but it felt like he had done this before once he started rubbing the scrawny boys’ back slowly, feeling up his spine and down. He let his head lay on top of Komaeda’s, letting the boy let it out.

“I’m sorry,” Komaeda’s arms wrapped around Hajime’s back, suddenly, as he hid his face in his chest by pulling the brunette closer to him.

“You don’t have to be, it’s okay, I promise.”

“Hinata?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so glad you fought an Ultimate for someone like me.” Hajime let out a chuckle.

“I’m glad I was that dumb too.”

“I didn’t say that!” Komaeda’s head peeked out from under Hajime to show his bottom lip out in a pout. 

“No, but I did.” Komaeda laughed, not his breakdown laugh or a fake one, his genuine one that made Hajime’s heart flutter. 

“Oh, and Ko,” Hajime smiled down at him, “your parents’ death will never be your fault.”

“I’ll try to tell myself that,” Komaeda went back to hiding his face in Hajime’s chest. He didn’t mind it at all. He buried his nose in the boys’ hair, closing his eyes to take in the blissful moment of holding Komaeda…

...and realizing that he isn’t alone.

Chapter Text

Hajime woke up slowly, which usually happened on the weekends. That was until his phone began going off loudly from under his pillow, causing the boy in his arms to stir- Wait what?

Hajime completely forgot about yesterday! Holy crap, he fell asleep with Komaeda! This had to be a dream- Focus, Hajime! You’re getting a call!

The brunette tore himself away from the albino and grabbed his phone from under his pillow, seeing the contact name Mom.

Lazily, he got up, making sure Komaeda was kept under his blanket, and slipped into his living room after quietly shutting his bedroom door, swiping the green answer button.

Nagito woke up and he wasn’t there - Hinata~Kun left? The boy sat up quickly, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him to go back to sleep because he was still exhausted, just like every single morning. Nagito heard talking in the living room and he snuck up to Hinata~Kun’s bedroom door and put an ear against the shut wood which was very thin from how clearly he could hear the brunette on the other side.

“Dinner? Tonight?” 

Pause.

“Ah, no, I can make it but I have a friend...No! It’s not a girlfriend, Mom!”

Nagito gave a small smile to himself; his mom sounded like a jokester.

“Can he come with then?”

Pause.

Was the Reserve Course Student actually asking his mom if Nagito could come with him for dinner? How thoughtful but he felt like he doesn’t deserve this! Nagito would gladly leave the boy alone with his family, even if he wasn’t ready to leave just yet.

“I don’t want him to be alone, he opened up about something to me last night, I don’t want him to handle the memories without me.”

Oh.

His cheeks tingled with his fluttering heart pleasantly at his words. How did Nagito get so lucky as to find a friend like this? Hinata~Kun tried to understand him all the time but why? Did he have a motive? Did he have a plan? 

“Thanks for understanding, Mom. Oh, uh, will Izuru be there?”

Pause.

“Yeah, I know but you know how he can be. Speaking of, how did you guys find the time out of your busy schedule to plan dinner?”

There was a small bitter edge on his voice to that question. Nagito never really heard or seen Hinata~Kun mad aside from when he basically saved the pale boys’ life; when he preaches that Nagito is valid. He wasn’t even mad when that girl at the cafe spilled coffee on him. 

“Vacation? You guys never took vacations.”

Pause.

“Oh, so you’ll take vacations from work to take mental breaks but when I was sent to the hospital because I had a heart attack, it didn’t exist.”

Pause. Wait, Hinata~Kun had a what?

“No, it wasn’t anything else but my anxiety!”

Hinata~Kun...that must’ve been a hard day for him. It sounded more like he had a panic attack than anything.

Nagito knew nothing about anxiety, except for the articles he read about it to help him understand Hinata~Kun but he’s had panic attacks before.

“How do you not remember? Izuru was with Makoto and I at the Naegi house and he locked us in the closet-”

Short pause.

“ I was not being irrational!”

Maybe his mom isn’t so great. This made Nagito quietly click his tongue in frustration.

This pause was longer and Nagito noticed him sigh then said,

“Yeah. See you tonight.”

There came a beep and footsteps began walking back to his room. Nagito panicked and stumbled over his own two feet as he tried to step backward and he tripped on them and as the door opened, he fell on his back.

“Komaeda!” 

“Ah, Hinata~Kun!” Nagito sat up, giving the brunette a sheepish smile as he looked down at him in shock. 

“Were you listening in on me, you spy?” Hinata~Kun asked, playfully smiling as he held out a hand to help Nagito up. The pale boy took his hand and was helped up to his feet. 

“Uh, maybe.” Nagito shrugged, dumbly. 

“I’m not mad about it,” Hinata~Kun quickly reassured, “but are you okay with meeting my family for dinner?”

“Of course! You’re so thoughtful, Hinata~Kun, I got so lucky with a friend like you!”

Friend.

They both didn’t like that word, despite that’s what they were and should be for a while.

“I just don’t want you to be alone, so if you need to pick up clothes for tonight, we can head to your dorm later,” Hinata~Kun suggested and Nagito nodded, realizing he slept in his clothes from yesterday.

“So! Up for some breakfast?” 

“Uh, sure!”

“Sorry for not cooking anything bigger,” Hinata~Kun sat down a plate of scrambled eggs and two pieces of buttered toast in front of Nagito, “when it comes to my mom cooking dinner, she goes overboard. It was always rare when she did cook but when she did, she acts like everyone has been starving for a month.”

“Oh, that’s okay! My mom cooked all the time!” Nagito has gone days without eating before, last night was the first time in a week or two, he wasn’t sure if he’d go without purging tonight.

“If you get hungry throughout the day, let me know!” Hinata~Kun shoved toast in his mouth, looking at Nagito for confirmation.

“I will,” Nagito smiled, lightly.

They ate quietly but the silence was stabbing at Hajime, stabbing his brain as it dug into his insecurities. Komaeda probably didn’t want to hang out with him, he was a talentless loser after all. He tried to fight off the thoughts, they swirled around him like gremlins poking at his skin to annoy him, to make him feel helpless. 

“Hinata~Kun?” Hajime looked at Komaeda then glanced down for a moment; they’re gone. How’d he do that?

“Are you okay?” Komaeda tilted his head. He had his glasses on and his white hair was wild, more than usual without the ponytail. The sight made Hajime want to melt on the spot.

“Uh, yeah. Just worried. I’m sorry you have to hang out with me all day.”

Komaeda looked taken aback at Hajime’s words as he chewed on the scrambled eggs. After he swallowed, he replied,

“Why?”

“I’m,” his voice shook as he looked away, “I’m talentless, you know? Just a loser-”

“Hinata~Kun-”

“Just useless, I’m worthless-”

“H...Hinata~Kun-”

“Just nothing-”

“Hinata.” His voice was firm, almost like it was in the cafe. Hajime looked at Komaeda, keeping his head down slightly as if to hide but let Komaeda know he has his attention.

“You don’t like it when I call myself these things, so it’s the same with me. You’re not useless or worthless, you bring hope to me, to Souda, even to Nanami! Anyone who brings hope to people is a star to me.”

Hajime was always left confused after Komaeda said something about him being ‘hope’ but this was different, somehow. The brunette nodded slowly.

“S...sorry, I don’t know what happened there-”

“I apologize but I’m not finished.”

“Huh?”

“I’d rather hang out with you, Hinata~Kun, than stay home all day. You’ve given me so much hope since we met. In such a short time, someone as hopeful as you hasn’t used me or has shown any signs of it, I’m so grateful for you. You’re no burden, you’re not worthless, you’re Hajime Hinata, you’re…”

He paused as if thinking of another word. His cheeks go pink and he smiles gently and finally says, “you’re my hope.”

The words sunk into Hajime; they made him dizzy from... something. His heart skipped a beat every time he thought of “you’re my hope” . 

“Ah, I said your first name, I’m sorry,” Komaeda broke Hajime from his dazed trance. 

“I’ve...I’ve never been one for formalities, call me whatever you’d like,” Hajime waved a hand, dismissively, and turned his face away, hiding the fact it beat red. 

“So can I call you Haji?”

“Don’t test me, Ko.”

The time came and Hajime got dressed in a black t-shirt and black skinny jeans, he was fully prepared for if Izuru felt like spilling something on him for a reaction. He combed his hair (unable to get the ahoge down and gave up on it) and met up with Komaeda at the front door.

“Let’s go.”

“I don’t want to make you feel invalidated, but, Hinata~Kun, you don’t have your phone or dorm keys,” Hajime slapped his forehead and rushed to his room after Komaeda reminded him. He came back, shoving his phone in his back pocket.

“You’re amazing, Ko, thank you!”

They left (not before Hajime played with the lock at least five times), heading up the elevator to the Ultimate’s Dorm Room Floor. Komaeda led him to his front door, told him to wait, then rushed into the pitch dark home. Hajime didn’t care that Komaeda didn’t want him in his dorm, it was probably a mess or something.

Hajime played on his phone until Komaeda slipped out, shutting the door behind him. He hid in another oversized hoodie, which was black, and plain blue skinny jeans. He must be wearing his contacts and smoothed out his wild hair as best as he could.

“I forgot, I left my sweater at your house,” Komaeda said.

“We’ll get it after if we make it out alive,” Hajime joked, heading to the elevator.

They took the bus again. His parents didn’t live far, Hinata~Kun said, but he wanted to take the bus anyway. They sat next to each other, avoiding everyone else while they sat in the back. Hinata~Kun had the window seat but he wasn’t looking there, Nagito noticed when he glanced at the brunette. He was staring at the other boys’ hand, which laid on the armrest.

“I’m sorry, did you want the armrest?” Nagato didn’t wait for an answer, he moved his hand to rest on his leg as he looked at Hinata~Kun with wonder. 

“N...no, I…” his voice drifted off so Nagito didn’t hear him.

“What was that?”

“Can...we h...hold hands again?” He spoke as he struggled to get the question out, which shocked Nagito.

“You want to?” Nagito questioned, dumbly. Hinata~Kun nodded, visibly gulping.

“Hey,” the white-haired boy whispered in a hushed tone, reached to grab Hinata~Kun’s hand, gently holding it as he placed both of their hands on the armrest, “it’s okay to ask.”

“I...I know, it just felt dumb to ask,” the brunette replied, face hidden in the dark but by the squeeze on Nagito’s hand, he was probably blushing. 

“It wasn’t, trust me,” Nagito smiled, softly, hoping the other boy would see it for reassurance.

“Okay.”

“Here,” Hinata~Kun stood as the bus came to a stop. Nagito stood quickly and rushed out of the seat, strangers bumping into him as they wanted to get out first. Jerks.

They walked a bit of way before coming to a modern Japanese family house, which was fairly plain except for the pink flowerbed by the door. 

“Ko, I want to warn you. I can be pretty bitter around my parents, so if you see that I start acting that way…”

“Stop you?”

“Please.”

“I will, Hinata~Kun!”

“Didn’t I tell you to call me whatever?” Hinata~Kun asked as they approached the door.

“You don’t like Haji,” Nagito pointed out with a smile, watching Hinata~Kun knock on the pale brown door.

“Heh, got me there.”

The door swung open, immediately, revealing a black-haired man, his hair in a ponytail as it reached past his mid-back. His eyes were red but Nagito knew contacts when he saw them (because he had the exact same pair). He wore a black jacket with a blue shirt underneath and sweatpants.

“Wow, Izuru, you still didn’t cut your hair,” Hinata~Kun noticed, dully. 

“Wow, Hajime, you have a boyfriend.”

“We’re friends.” 

“Um,” Nagito spoke up, breaking the tension between the brothers, “I’m assuming you’re brothers?”

“Twin brothers, you’d be able to tell if his contacts were out and his hair was back to brown,” Hinata~Kun shrugged.

“I’m Izuru Kamukura-”

“Hinata.”

“The Ultimate Ultimate.”

“U...Ultimate Ultimate?” Nagito looked at Hinata~Kun, confused.

“I’ll...tell you later,” he turned his face away, hiding whatever emotion was showing on his face.

“Well, I’m Nagito Komaeda, the Ultimate Lucky Student.”

“Luck, huh? Let’s see how that works tonight.”

“Izuru,” Hinata~Kun threatened, glaring at his brother, “don’t use his talent to entertain yourself.”

They walked in and Nagito sniffed the air, smelling the aroma of rice, sushi, and countless more.

“Hajime is here!” Izuru called into the kitchen as he leaned against a door frame to the kitchen. After a few seconds, out came a woman in a blue apron, going in to hug Hinata~Kun. The brunette returns the hug, reluctantly.

“Mom,” he pulls away after a few minutes, “this is Nagito Komaeda.”

The woman looks at the albino, eyes examining him carefully as Nagito holds his hand out.

“I’m so glad to meet you and your family, Mrs. Hinata!” He smiles, gently, watching the woman bring her hand up at last to shake his.

“Nice to meet you too, Komaeda, call me Nami. My husband is Takai,” her expression is blank under her straight brown bangs. Nagito only nodded and watched her walk into the kitchen again.

Hinata~Kun scooted closer to Nagito and whispered, “this will be a long night…”

It felt long. Izuru annoyed Hajime to no end. His dad sat on the couch, watching TV, as his mother finally started setting up the table. Komaeda hugged himself, looking around cautiously before it was finally time to eat.

It was silent. The silence drove Hajime crazy but he couldn’t show it. He picked up his cup full of iced water and sipped it carefully, leg bouncing under the table. He puts the cup back down and eats, shoving sushi into his mouth to make the night go faster.

Suddenly, he feels a hand on his bouncing leg. His head snaps to the left, where Komaeda is sitting. He’s eating quietly but hit boney hand lays on Hajime’s mid-thigh as if to calm him down. It was working if that’s what he was going for. The bouncing eases to a stop as they continue to eat.

“Izuru, your grades are amazing as always,” his mom smiles kindly at Izuru, who shrugs, bored, as usual. Her look goes to Hajime, her eyes firm.

“We’re paying for that academy, Hajime, for you to exceed, not be almost failing English.”

Of course, Izuru is the perfect son and I’m not.

“I’m working on it.”

“Work on it soon.”

Hajime hid the scowl on his face as his leg began bouncing again. On his left, Komaeda scoots his chair closer and keeps his hand firmly placed on his leg. 

“I’ll...do my best, Mom,” he shoved more sushi into his mouth, eating away the bitterness that threatened to leave.

“That reminds me, Hinata~Kun,” Hajime looked at his safety blanket - Komaeda - as he spoke up, “I can actually help you with your English!”

“Ko, you don’t have to,” the brunette mumbled, looking at his friend.

“But I will,” Komaeda sang lightly as he replied. Hajime knew it was the end of the conversation when he went back to eating. He looked at his brother, who was eating, slowly, staring back at him. The brunette knew he was planning something even though his stare was blank.

The night continued, Hajime noticed Komaeda was beginning to eat slower with each dish his mom forced on them. While his mother and Izuru went on with a conversation, Hajime leaned closer to Komaeda.

“Dude, you don’t have to eat it all-” he stopped when the white-haired boy looked at him; his eyes looked dazed, he looked sick but Hajime couldn’t put a finger on what it was that made him look bad. 

“Ko, do we need to leave?” Nagito saw the concern in his green eyes, he wished he could stare into those eyes all the time. 

It was true, Nagito felt sick. He hadn’t eaten this much in months but he didn’t want to feel like he was wasting food...then again, he couldn’t bring himself to be selfless this time around. He simply looked back at his plate then back to Hinata~Kun and nodded, hesitantly. 

“Hey, we need to go, Ko isn’t feeling well.”

He stood quickly, grabbing Nagito’s plate in the process and taking it to the kitchen.

“Are you okay, Komaeda?” Nami asked, her eyebrows narrowing at the boy.

“Ah, yes,” he choked to speak, “I promise, it was not your food! It was all delicious.”

“Thank you-”

“A...alright, Ko, let’s go,” Hinata~Kun came back, helping Nagito to his feet.

“He’s probably just nauseous, it’s not like you can’t stay, Hajime,” Izuru chimed in.

“I’m not leaving him alone,” The brunette glared at his twin.

“Oh yeah, you guys are definitely dating.”

“Izuru!”

“ Dating?” Both Nami and Takai echoed the word.

“Don’t tell me you’re still in that phase!” his mother gasped.

“Oh, and get this,” Izuru smiled, striking Hinata~Kun’s nerves with the look on his face, “Komaeda is trans.”

“SHUT UP, IZURU!” the room fell silent...only for a minute.

“That wasn’t necessary, Hajime,” Nami stood, staring down at Hinata~Kun.

“Of course it was! Why do I bother trying to reconnect with you guys?” 

Why is the room spinning?

His stomach churned as his legs began to wobble under him. The sounds, the yelling, mushed together like dough. He tried to look at Hinata~Kun but his head spun, he wasn’t sure where he was looking. In his final attempts, he mumbles out,

“Ha..jime…”

His body went limp on him and the world went black, the last sound he heard was Hinata~Kun calling for him in concern.

Chapter Text

The world was dark except for a small area that was his old living room, his mother and father sitting on the couch together, his father’s arm draped over his mothers’ shoulders. They were giggling. His legs carried him over to the couch across from them and he sat down. Their smiles were so kind, looking at him with a smile in their eyes.

“Did you eat, my boy?” His father asked.

“I...I have.”

“That’s great! You’re doing so well, my little angel,” his mother clapped her hands, a smile stretching from ear to ear in pride. 

“How do you know if someone is going to hurt you? Even though you know he- they won’t?”

“You just have to trust this boy, Nagi,” his mother smooched his father on the cheek as if to make a point and they laughed.

Nagito knew this was all fake, the dreams were recurring...but they always felt so real. Their smiles were real, the love they had behind their eyes for each other and him...all real but it was just a dream but he took comfort in it, knowing they were still watching over him.

“So, who is he? You wouldn’t tell us last time!” his father reminded. Nagito let out a small laugh before shrugged.

“He’s...everything...and that’s terrifying.”

“Oh? Why?” His mother asked, her caring eyes looked at his soul as if she could see the pain and confusion he’s in.

“Everyone I’ve loved has died or left me,” he looked down, “I’m scared he will too…”

“He seems like a very careful person, Nagi, even with your luck,” His dad chuckled.

“I don’t want him to get hurt because of me-”

“Oh, you’re still on that?” His mother was suddenly standing in front of him, holding his pale hands in her soft tan ones, her long blue painted nails grazed his boney hands.

“You didn’t kill us, honey,” her soft hand rubbed his cheek, caringly, “a plane crash did.”

“A plane crash that killed everyone but me!” Tears fell down his face as he yelled. 

“It’s been two years, why can’t I stop grieving?!” he stood, making his mother step backward into the aisle...aisle? 

Suddenly he was on a plane.

The plane…

“There’s no limit to grief, Nagito,” they said in sync.

“Stop, stop, stop!”

“We’re sorry but...We’re gone.”

“Don’t be gone, please! I need you guys!”

“Remember to eat, stay healthy, live for us,” his mother smiled at him, her eyes never leaving Nagito as a big boom came. The plane dipped forward but his parents didn’t budge. He, on the other hand, held onto the seats in front of him to keep standing, his hair whipping wildly in front of his eyes. 

“Please, I need you! Come back!” His tears clouded his vision as he reached for his parents, who only smiled lovingly at him as the plane crashed onto land.

Nagito woke up with a jolt, gasping for air. Why did it always end that way? With them telling him to stay alive for them? 

Why was he having these dreams two years later?

Why was he still grieving…?

…

Where is he?

“Komaeda’s where!?”

Hajime regretted going to Komaeda’s class at lunch to tell them what had happened. Everyone yelled the same thing at the same time, their eyes looked like they just saw a dead body; shot open, wide with shock. It was the Monday after that weekend and Komaeda had yet to wake up from when he fainted.

“H...he can’t be there...a...again!” Tsumiki squealed out, digging her fingers into her hair in fear. Mioda was quick to stop her from tearing her hair out.

“She is right!” Nevermind piped up.

“W..what do you mean?” Hajime asked, keeping his eyes down to avoid all of the eyes digging into him.

“Man,” Souda came up beside him, “Komaeda fought Lymphoma and Dementia.”

“What…?”

“Of course, he is all better,” Nevermind quickly added, “but he had talked to Nanami that he now fears hospitals because of the many visits before he found out he would live!”

“He seriously didn’t tell you any of this?” Kuzuryu spoke up, his hands in his pockets as he gruffly looked at him, Pekoyama stood idly beside him, glaring down at the floor.

“N...no…” Hajime’s heart beat fast, suddenly realizing the severity of the situation. He wished Komaeda had told him, that way he would’ve stayed with him at the hospital.

"Which hospital is he in?" Owari asked.

"J..just a few miles out, by another school-" 

His phone rang loudly, interrupting him as it vibrated in his pants pocket. With shaky hands, he took out the phone and answered the call.

“H...hello?”

“Is this Hajime Hinata?”

“Yes?”

“Nagito Komaeda is awake.”

Hajime never ran so fast. After a quick explanation to the classmates, he bolted out and out of the school, not caring about the absence list he was going to be on for the rest of his classes, not caring if Komaeda's classmates were following him, not caring for anything except for Komaeda.

He didn’t know what to feel; he was in a hospital, one where he went to to help cure him. His luck allowed him to live with no bad luck in return - which was how it usually worked so it’s strange it didn’t - he should feel content, considering he knew the hospital well.

But he was panicking. Did something happen to him again? Did something come back? No one explained anything, the nurse only came in to tell him the doctor would come late noon at two and she left. So he sat there, an IV in his wrist for a reason he had no clue what and twiddling his fingers together. His phone was dead from neglect of charging so all he could do was try to convince himself that he wasn’t sick again.

“Komaeda,” he looked up at a nurse, who had opened the door and was peeking in, “you have a visitor.”

In came his savior, his friend, his hope, Hajime Hinata. He couldn’t look at the boy in his school uniform for too long before Hinata~Kun charged at him into a tight hug. The nurse shrugged and left, closing the door behind her. How lucky of Nagito, he got his own room. He hugged the brunette back, careful not to pull at the IV in his vein.

“How are you feeling?” Hinata~Kun pulled away, hands on Nagito’s boney shoulders after he pulled away, looking down at him with concern.

“Confused, I don’t know why I’m here…”

“You fainted at dinner, the doctor explained to us that you hadn’t eaten in a week or two before coming to my house and eating that much after…” He trailed off, dragging a chair to sit near Nagito as he avoided eye contact. The albino looked at his wrist, the pieces coming together.

“I...If I had known, I wouldn’t have let you force yourself to eat that much,” Hinata~Kun sat down, looking at his hands, “my mom freaked out, my dad had to calm her down and Izuru...I...I think he felt bad for dragging on to get a reaction out of me.”

“Really?”

Hinata~Kun nodded, still not looking at him as he replied, “he is the Ultimate Ultimate...that means he has a lot of the Talents in the world. At first, he was just my twin brother, he was never bored, he was like me. Then...for money, mom and dad allowed him to be tested on when we were maybe five years old. Then he became who he is today.”

“I...I’m sorry...for being such a burden that I made even your emotionless brother worried,” Nagito let out a nervous laugh, his heart sinking in pain at the thought.

“Ko,” Hinata~Kun gently took Nagito’s hand in his, engulfing the boney boys’ cold hand in his warm one, “you’re not a burden...I just...why weren’t you eating?”

Nagito opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. The truth was that he didn’t even know why himself. It just seemed like a hopeless thing to waste his time with. He simply shrugged, watching Hinata~Kun’s eyes drop away from him again. 

“I’m sorry for causing so much trouble for you and your family, Hinata~Kun,” Nagito quickly said, “I tried to stay awake, I think, I just couldn’t.”

“It’s okay, Ko, honestly,” the brunette looked at him with a small smile, “you stopped us from fighting.”

“You were fighting?”

“My parents aren’t homophobic, per se, they just haven’t caught up with the times...Izuru isn’t transphobic or anything either, he’s just bored and wants a reaction to feel something.” 

“Oh.”

Why did they have to fall into awkward silence? Holding hands, nonetheless? Nagito found it comforting to hold hands but he was holding hands with someone who had more potential than him, more hope, more life to live! How dare he do this? 

“So...I’m not here because of something else?” Nagito asked, looking at his friend. Hinata~Kun shook his head, slightly smiling.

“No, I promise.” 

Nagito could only guess his classmates told him about it…

“Hey, Hinata! Quit hogging him!”

In came the crowd of his many classmates, Owari was the one shouting at the Reserve Course Student. Hinata~Kun shuffled away, hand sliding out from his as he moved nearby to let everyone see him. 

“Are you okay, Komaeda?” Nanami asked softly, holding a game boy in her hands. Nagito nodded, offering them all a smile.

“I’m really okay, guys! Don’t worry about someone like me-”

“Komaeda.”

“Ah, right, Hinata~Kun doesn’t like it when I do that,” Nagito let out a soft chuckle, looking down at his cold hands. 

“All that matters...i..is that you’re okay, Komaeda!” Tsumiki stuttered out. 

“Why is the pig barf even talking?” Saionji pouted. This caused Tsumiki to whimper out, gripping her hair.

“I...I’m sorry for being pig barf!”

This caused the crowd of Ultimates to either scold Saionji or comfort the whimpering Tsumiki.

Nagito was smiling...he was so glad his fainting was a pedestal to help his classmates gather together to joke around like this, as per usual. He looked at Hinata~Kun, whose eyes stared down at the floor, fiddling with his fingers. Nagito’s eyes lingered at his hands before his classmates began yelling over each other to ask him questions.

He stood there for awhile, their voices blurring out with each passing minute. Hajime spaced out, his mind running blank as he stared at nothing. It was nice when he spaced out like this...nothing bothered him in this state…

Unless it’s his phone alarm going off, telling him he has a late shift at work. God, why did his work schedule clump together or as far away as possible on the worst days? Hajime excused himself, having Souda follow suit (they always had the same shifts), and they headed to their small job.

Chapter Text

"Hinata! Focus!" Souda yelled once again on the busiest day of the week at their store. Hajime shook his head, shaking the thoughts away as he bagged the items Souda rang up for the customer in front of them.

The brunette couldn't stop thinking about Komaeda, how he probably worried the poor boy when he woke up in the hospital. He felt awful, he wished he had known Komaeda had gone through so much. As he bagged the items for a man with sunglasses, he couldn't help but think about it, how he probably gave Komaeda anxiety...how dare he? He'd be such a hypocrite to do that! He didn't want to cause Komaeda harm or fear and the thought that he may have...

The final person at their register left, after what seemed like forever, and Souda pulled Hajime into the staff bathroom. Which, of course, caused some confused glances by their coworkers because Souda grabbed him by his arm and they were heading to a single bathroom...okay, he and Souda would have to explain that they didn't even do anything to their coworkers later.

The staff bathroom didn't have any stalls so they were alone in the tiled room that echoed around them, the smell of bleach suffocated them, which meant it had recently been cleaned.

"Dude, what's up with you?" Souda asked, fixing his hair while looking in the mirror as if to avoid eye contact with the brunette. Sometimes Hajime wished they weren't alone in the store that day they tried out drinking. As much as he liked Souda as a friend, he felt embarrassed every time he remembered the pink-haired boy coming up to him and explaining what had happened, that the anxious boy poured out his feelings in a fit of sobs and tears in such a drunken state. 

"I just feel really bad...I wish Komaeda would've told me-"


"Hajime Hinata," his full name from his usual laid back friend came off eery and shocked Hajime, "he didn't tell you, period. There's nothing you can do about it now. Besides., he would've had to go, considering his condition."

"Souda, he trusts me, I feel like I trust broke that trust-"

"Okay, first of all, you can call me Kaz, I told you that before. Formalities are stupid. Second, he never told you, how would you know?"

"I could've asked...ask something along those lines? I just...I wish I knew if I hurt him personally or anything, I don't want to hurt him because I..." 

It hit him like a heavyweight, like a semi-truck speeding down the highway, crashing into his body, his lungs, his heart. He stared at his shaking hands as they began to blur. It can't be possible, that can't be it, he thought.

But it was true, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

"Hajime?" Souda - Kaz - his voice fell softer as he looked at his friend, who stood shaking, eyes and face red.

"I...I really like him, Kaz," saying the words out loud felt like a relief as well as more crushing weight burying him down, "I...It's weird to say...since we didn't meet that l...long ago but.."

"Hey, you need to breathe, you're going pale," Kaz grabs Hajime's shaking hands as if to ground him. The brunette nodded, taking in a deep breath, and he went on. Realizing Kaz was a friend was very relieving, another person who was careful with him but more aggressive about it...that was Kaz for you.

Nagito's eyes shot open after another nightmare. It ended the same, started the same, just different wordings...and the same smashing pain of grief. The door opened to his room and he saw the familiar face of Hinata~Kun's twin, Izuru Kamukura. In his hand was a wrapped up Subway sandwich...had Kamukura been here long? If so, why? Nagito couldn't help but scowl at him; he caused Hinata~Kun year's worth of trauma (along with his parents), even if he was an experiment, forced away from his normal life, that isn't right and the albino would never forgive that. 

"I'm sorry," Kamukura sat down in a chair next to Nagito's hospital bed. Watching his face, the pale boy could tell it took every will in his body to say such simple words. 

"I'm not the one you should waste your time on with those words," Nagito replied. Kamukura let out a low chuckle as if that response wasn't what he thought it'd be. At least he's amused.

"Hajime must've told you everything then."

"Yep."

"It's funny that he uses our parents forcing me to be like this as an excuse for what I do to him and others," the black-haired boy eats his sandwich, his long hair in a messy bun, some of his hair falling in front of his red contact eyes.

"Of course, that doesn't excuse the fact I outed you and my brother."

"I don't care about myself, Kamukura, I care about Hinata~Kun."

"Obviously. You have a weird crush on him."

"E...Excuse me?" Nagito never thought of it like that but once again, he's not worthy, he'll never be worthy of Hinata~Kun.

"You heard me, Lucky Student."

He could only fall silent, having no comebacks, no excuses. 

"Anyways," Kamukura hummed as he chewed on his food then swallowed so he could continue, "I still wanted to apologize to you. It wasn't right of me...I wish I wasn't this way."

Nagito could only nod and reply with, "I bet."

Kamukura only hummed, not going on with his sentence. Nagito could only stare at him before his eyes shot open with realization, his hand going into his jacket pocket.

"We have the same type of phone so here," he handed him a charger. Nagito smiled at the thought of finally texting Hinata~Kun, he's so excited!

Wait-

"How'd you know we have the same phone?" Kamukura only chewed his food, one of his eyebrows quirked up as if judging him. The Lucky Student nodded, realizing it was probably one of his Ultimates...that hardly made sense but Nagito could care less. Careful of his IV, he plugged in the charger in a socket by the bed and swiftly grabbed his phone to plug it in.

"Thanks."

"mhm."

Why was he still here? He apologized, what else does he want to do, kill Nagito? As much as the thought brought him peace, he finally had something to live for and would have to struggle...like he'd be able to. Kamukura finished eating his sandwich and stood. Nagito watched him walk out of the room s if he wasn't there in the first place. Now he waited, watching his phone charge slowly.

Hajime bagged the last customer's items while Kaz waved their coworkers goodbye. they didn't have the midnight shift, thankfully. The brunette gave a woman her bag and she walked out, silently. Hajime sighed and looked at Kaz, who gave him a sharp toothy smile as he walked to the break room. Suddenly, Hajime's jeans pocket vibrated violently at least three times.

Ko

Hinata~Kun! I got a charger!

It was from your brother!

He came by to apologize.

Hajime Hinata

Really? That's great to hear! 

I need to pack up and catch a bus, I'll text you when I'm back home, okay?

Ko

Okay, Hinata~Kun, sorry!

Hajime smiled to himself, his heart lifting. Finally, they can talk again...

Hajime Hinata

wait, do you want me to stop by?

Ko

As welcoming as that'd be, you worked long hours, you need sleep!

Hajime Hinata

Nahh, omw

Ko

>:[

"What are you smiling dumbly at your phone for?" Kaz asked, looking at Hajime's phone. The brunette moved it away from his sight, causing a whine from the mechanic. 

"Fine, keep your secrets!" Kaz playfully pouted, making Hajime smile as he grabbed his bag and checked everything in it; house keys, wallet, phone charger, money inside wallet...good, everything was still there.

Hajime bid Kaz farewell, for the boy had a car he fixed up himself, and he walked to the bus stop, waiting. He checked his phone once again.

Ko

Hinata~Kun, really, you don't need to stop by

It's late

for you

you should sleep

Hajime Hinata

what was that? Couldn't read that over the sound of me getting on the bus to visit you!

Ko

I will start calling you Haji if you come here!

Hajime shrugged and pocketed the phone; it was a risk he was willing to take. Besides, the threat wasn't' really a threat, Hajime would let Ko call him anything.

Chapter Text

Hajime's bus stopped at the hospital. The brunette rushed to get off, the excitement of seeing Ko made his heart race and his face warm up. After confessing his feelings aloud, he felt relieved, less like he was hauling around weights all the time, and more like a giddy elementary student. Although, confessing them to the actual person would take so much confidence...but he felt light for once, like he was walking on soft clouds.

He walked into the hospital with a smile and walked to the front desk. There, he saw one of Komaeda's classmates; the ultimate nurse, Mikan Tsumiki. Hajime had spoken to her very little but she never mentioned she worked at the hospital Komaeda was put into.

"G...Good afternoon, Hi..Hinata!" she greeted with her usual stutter and soft voice. 

"Hello, Tsumiki. I didn't know you worked here," Hajime replied.

"Well, I..I'm just volunteering for now! I want to be here for Komaeda i...if he needs a familiar face," she smiles warily.

"That's sweet of you!" Hajime smiles back, causing the shy girl in front of him to look away.

"Speaking of Komaeda...can I go see him?" Tsumiki only nods, suddenly busying herself with the computer in front of her. Hajime couldn't help but think he had said something wrong while he walked to Komaeda's room. 

Lightly, he knocked on Komaeda's door, hoping he wasn't sleeping. A small 'come in' came from the room and Hajime opened the door. The first thing his eyes landed on was a tired Komaeda, slowly sitting up as Hajime walked in, closing the door behind him.

"What did I tell you, Hinata~Kun?" Komaeda smiled at him, tiredly.

"Oh well," Hajime shrugged, putting his bag down beside the bed, "did I wake you up?"

"No, I was just playing on my phone."

"Did...did Izuru say anything else when he came by?" Komaeda's expression went still as if debating in his mind if he should tell Hajime. Finally, he shook his head.

"Not really anything important," Komaeda replied with a small smile. Hajime could only nod, not wanting to push the subject. Hajime dragged a chair to the side of the bed and sat down. Suddenly, Komaeda's head turned to the window as if just noticing how dark it was in the room...even though it was probably just s dark outside. 

"Could you open the curtains? I would but," he chuckled, lowly, showing the IV in his wrist. The brunette only smiled as he stood with a nod, going to the curtains to open them. In front of the window, a small white snowflake falls...wait, snowflake? The brunette looked out more, squinting; the moon shined down on them, the perfect view of the moon and snowflakes floating down. 

"Woah, it's already snowing!" The Reserve Course Student exclaims, looking back at his friend. Komaeda's eyes sparkled at the window, something Hajime had hardly ever seen in the boy before. 

"I love the snow."

"Really? Why?" Komaeda could only watch outside with a small content smile. Hajime waited, patiently, watching the boy look at the brunette again as he sat back down. 

"It's not really a happy story," Komaeda warns, lightly.

"It doesn't have to be," Hajime reminded, "some stories you tell me aren't happy and that's okay."

Komaeda only nodded before looking back outside, watching the light snowfall.

"Once, my aunt and uncle kicked me out because I tried to say something about mom and dad," his eyes flicker down, "it was snowing gently that night. I didn't have a jacket on but it was not freezing or anything, it was just all resting. Like leaves falling in fall. I didn't go too far from home but I started to realize how free and hopeful snow was; it just falls where it wants and later, kids and adults gather together to play in it. Then it fills up the holes they made the next night."

Hajime felt like he was walking on a rope listening to him ramble; on one hand, he understood what he was saying but on the other, he was thrown off by 'hope'. Was this a hope tangent? Was this what Nanami was talking about? He'd still listening, though.

"I found so much hope in such a cold thing, I never thought I would," Komaeda smiles, "My aunt and uncle got me back after realizing they could go to jail for murder if I died but the experience of sitting in the snow, throwing it around felt so relaxing, free, and hopeful."

"Weird question but," Hajime quickly began, "after you get out, you want to go play in the snow?"

Komaeda's eyes twinkled as well as widened as the expression of shock and excitement crossed his face.

"Yes! ah...sorry, that was loud," Hajime could only laugh.

"It's okay! When do you get out?"

"I think tomorrow but the doctor told me to take it easy," Komaeda looked out the window again, gently smiling. Hajime didn't say anything as he stared at the boy with admiration; he was nowhere near telling Komaeda of his feelings. Not only because of his lack of confidence but because Komaeda had been in a bad relationship last time, fooled by a girl and her sister...how cruel. Hajime watched Komaeda's smile fade to a frown in the moonlight, which sent Hajime off of his relaxing rails and into a spin of anxiety.

"Are you okay?" The brunette asked.

"I...I just have something on my mind, don't worry too much about it."

"Ko."

"Ah! Don't make that scary face!" Komaeda chuckled at Hajime's glare.

"It's something I should think of on my own, but thank you, Hinata~Kun, for worrying about me," they both smile at each other, which gave Hajime's stomach the biggest butterflies in his stomach. His heart swelled when he saw Komaeda's look at Hajime's fidgeting hands. Komaeda's face twitched nervously shone by the moonlight. His own pale, boney hand reached out to Hajime's, although he couldn't reach, it was as if he was silently asking for permission. Hajime's naturally shaky hands grabbed his cold one immediately, engulfing it in warmth. 

The night grew older and Nagito couldn't deny it, he really liked Hinata~Kun. It's stupid to him; he despised the Reserve-Course students months ago but after the brunette threw himself into a fight for his honor, Nagito wasn't sure anymore. Although only Hinata~Kun helped him, were the other students okay? Obviously not the guys who bullied the poor boy but he didn't know. Nagito watched the brunette's head fall gradually as they spoke and soon, Hinata~Kun was asleep, his warm hands still around Nagito's one hand. The boy could only smile.

"I told you it was late," he whispered to the sleeping brunette, "sleepyhead."

Hinata~Kun only breathed in, softly, his eyes closed. The anxious boy looked peaceful when nothing was keeping him in a worried state. Nagito kicked the blanket on his legs off of him, carefully moving with the IV in his wrist and he was able to wriggle his way to having Hinata~Kun's head on his lap. It was an awkward position due to the brunette being in a chair but Nagito worked with it. He stroked the boys' soft and spiky hair with his free hand whole his IV hand was resting beside him. Hinata~Kun's hands were on Nagito's knees and he breathed peacefully. 

Nagito didn't know he began humming until his brain flashed a memory of his mother singing exact same tune to him as a lullaby. The albino sighed out at the memory, looking down at Hinata~Kun.

"I wish you got to meet them, Mom and Dad would've loved you," he whispered again, tears pricking his eyes. He could only imagine it; Hinata~Kun coming over for dinner, he looks nervous, fidgeting with his flannel sleeves. His mother would come in, smiling, easing his anxiety like the secret power she always had with everyone. She and Nagito would drag the boy to the dining room, his mother claiming how much Nagito talks about Hinata~Kun. His father would reveal himself, kissing mom's cheek like he usually did if they were in the same room. Mom would seat Hinata~Kun and Nagito down, insisting they stayed there with his father. She'd bring the food out, her delicious bread rolls and ramen would be eaten in no time. They'd all then talk about nothing and everything...Nagito would hold Hinata~Kun's hand and call him by his given name...because they'd be dating-

Nagito's burning face stopped his daydream. Tears running down his pale face and butterflies in his stomach. How sinful of him...Thinking he could date someone as amazing as Hinata~Kun...

Hinata~Kun's head suddenly jolted up, his eyes wavering between sleep and alarm. The green eyes met Nagito's red puffy ones and the tired brunette found the boney hand belonging to the albino and he looked up at him in concern.

"K...Ko? What's wrong?"

"I...just..." Nagito choked, "I think...no...I know my parents would've really liked you...and I really miss them." 

He didn't mean for his last word to be a choked sob but before he knew it, he was sobbing like a neglected baby. Grieving again. He knew it took time but how much time? 

How much longer until he thought of them and only smiled instead of cry?

"Would you like Hinata~Kun?"

"Of course, he makes you so happy! I love seeing my son happy!" His mother chimed, eating her ramen. Hinata~Kun appeared beside Nagito at the table, his hand out to him to hold...please.

"He's a safe boy, he can handle your small outbursts," his father smiled. His mother nudged him with a sharp look.

"Ow! Okay, I worded that wrong apparently, sorry!"

Nagito laughed, taking Hinata~Kun's hand. The brunette was silent, eating the ramen happily. 

This was his daydream...his happy little dream he wanted, that he wanted to reach for but couldn't grab.

"This is all out of my reach," Nagito put down the chopsticks, his grip on Hinata~kun's hand tightened, "I can't get you guys back, and I...I don't deserve Haji..."

"Ko," He spoke...Nagito looked at Hinata~Kun and saw the glare he gave him when he was awake. 

He hated being so aware of when he was asleep or awake...either way, he woke up tired from these dreams. He woke up sobbing too.

"Of course you deserve him, Nagi," His mother smiled, eating the last bits of her ramen.

"He came at the right time." 

"what if he didn't? what if it's a chance of 'right person, wrong time'?" Nagito asked as his grip was deadly on the boys' hand now. 

"It's not." 

With a rush of wind, he was on the plane...god, it's too soon now! He wasn't done!

instead of them being in the aisle, Nagito had the window seat, gripping Hinata~Kun's hand...wait no...

His parents beckoned for Hinata~Kun to join them in the aisle. Even with Nagito's deathly grip, the brunette got away from it. 

"Stop being so afraid," Hinata~Kun says, smiling, Nagito's mother had her hands on his slim shoulders, "that's my job, silly."

"Being afraid hold you back, Nagi," his mother says. The plane jerks forward, the seatbelt on Nagito locked him in place. He struggled to take it off, to run to his family, to Hajime...to save them.

"Stop it! Quit being so...! so...so vague yet loud! I get it! I'm scared to lose him too!" His pale hands pulled at the belt...to no avail.

"I can't lose him too! Don't make me watch him die here! Please!" his voice hurt from yelling, his eyes blurring his vision again like always.

"Let me come with you! If...if he dies too, let me too! PLEASE!"

Nagito jolted awake after the sickening sound of the crash in his ears. His tears fell down the pillow. He sat up, seeing no Hinata~Kun insight but instead, a note.

Ko,

    I'm sorry I had to leave. Tsumiki let me stay as long as I could but once you fell asleep after crying, I felt terrible for leaving. I'll be back in the afternoon to be your ride back to the dorm! So wait for me, okay?

                                            -Haji

Nagito smiled to himself, wiping away the tears. 

Okay... he thought, 

I'll wait for you.

Chapter Text

Time sped by in a flash; Nagito was sitting in the bed and before he knew it, the doctor unhooked his IV, told him to be careful, and gave him his clothes back. He was more than relieved. Now all he had to do was wait for Hinata~Kun. While dressing in the bathroom of the room he was leaving, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. 

How bizarre it is to realize he didn't have those wretched things on his chest anymore...but the scars were less than attractive, especially with how pale he was. Quickly, Nagito looked away to avoid becoming dysphoric. Yet, his mind wandered as he put on his oversized black hoodie; Would Hinata~Kun be okay with it?

Hinata~Kun knows. Almost everyone at Hope's Peak knows...but would the brunette care? Would he look down on him like the disgusting being he was or would Hinata embrace it? Nagito's face burned at the thought of opening up so intimately. No, He shook his head, shooing away the thoughts and the burning on his face. It's too soon to be thinking like that!

He grabbed the charger Kamukura gave him and headed out the door, texting Hinata~Kun to make sure he was on his way.

Nagito:

Hey, are you on your way?

Haji:

Haha, I got so excited that I got here super early.

Nagito's legs never ran so fast for anything. God, he really liked this boy...

Hajime watched the albino run around a corner before stopping, searching for the brunette in the waiting room. Hajime stood from the seat he was sitting in, catching the boys' attention. Komaeda ran up, almost knocking Hajime to the floor when he hugged him. 

"Ko, be careful, you won't have enough energy for the park!" Hajime laughed, hugging Komaeda back.

"I know but I missed you!" The brunette's face tingled as his heart twirled. 

"But you saw me around midnight!"

"I don't care," Komaeda whined when Hajime pulled away with a chuckle.

"Let's get going then. Remember, you left your sweater and glasses at my house," Hajime began walking to the front doors.

"Eh, keep the sweater. I don't wear it anyways."

"K...keep-?" Hajime’s voice cracked as they stopped walking once they were outside in the cold, watching Komaeda nod with a smile before looking to the sky.

"I need the glasses though."

"R...right."

Hajime and Komaeda rode the bus to the dorms and Hajime followed the boy to his room. He planned to sit out the door but Komaeda convinced him to come in and wait because the taller one would have to take a shower then dry his hair before leaving. 

"I don't want to smell like hospital sheets anymore," he claimed.

So now Hajime sat on Komaeda's couch, looking around the dark living room. Built the same as his dorm but with barely any furniture and decorations. The brunette took off his winter coat and stood, deciding to pace a bit, hearing the faint sounds of Komaeda showering. As Komaeda explained before, he was only there to escape his Aunt and Uncle, which made Hajime think bitterly about how awful the boys' life had been until the dorms opened up. He hoped to take Komaeda's pain away, take his past out of his brain, fix everything...but Hajime knew he'd have to suggest therapy to the boy because what he wanted to do was impossible.

Throwing him from his thoughts, his phone began ringing. Who could it be? The only person who texts and calls is Komaeda and he’s hearing the shower continue, distantly behind muffled walls. He took his phone out and noticed immediately that the number had hung up. With a soft, confused hum, he opened his call history and looked into the recent calls list. There, he found that Kaz had called him. Kaz, of all people! He never called, it was strange. With a quick tap or two, Hajime called back, putting his phone to his ear as he heard the rings drag out before it finally stopped, the voice of his pink-haired friend on the other side dragged out.

“Heeyy, Hajime,” He could only guess they were still on first name base.

“Hey, Kaz. Why did you call?” The Reserve Course Student didn’t realize until now that his voice was hoarse. Kaz only cleared his throat with a long pause before speaking again.

“Uh, how did you find out you were bisexual?” That was unexpected of Kaz. His friend rarely ever asked anything to do with that...Could he be…? No, he used to always make perverted jokes about Sonia Nevermind, wanting to see her in a certain outfit. Although the jokes stopped as of late, Hajime didn’t think anything of it. He didn’t know how straight people worked.

“I’m...not too sure. I just wanted to kiss guys, I guess.” Hajime didn’t want to remember his younger self fawning over a popular pop singer poster he had hung on his wall...he probably kissed that poster to extinction, that would explain its disappearance after he turned fifteen.

Or his parents took it but he’d like to think it disappeared because he was a cringy fanboy.

“Why?” he shoved the memories aside.

“Well, same,” Kaz’s usual loud voice was soft with embarrassment, possibly even realization once he finally said it out loud. 

“What happened?” Hajime asked, hearing Komaeda’s shower suddenly turn off. Kaz sighed on the other end.

“I really don’t want to talk about that. Not yet.”

“Hey, I understand. You don’t need to tell me anything.”

“I don’t know why I called.”

“You probably wanted to tell someone, at least.”

With a long pause on the other end, Kaz sighs again, heavier this time.

“You’re right.”

Komaeda walked out, smiling before stopping in his tracks and looking at Hajime with a  quizzical look once he noticed the phone in the others’ hand. The brunette shrugged with a frown.

“It’s not a bad thing, you know,” Hajime said, looking away from his friend, “it’s just like liking girls, just different body types.”

“I know it’s not bad,” Kaz said, “it’s just never happened to me until this one guy.”

“That’s usually how it occurs,” the other smiled absent-mindedly at Komaeda, who stood patiently and smiled back, unknowingly.

“I’m going to think on it more,” Kaz spoke gently, “thanks, man.”

“Anytime! If you need anything else, you can call and not hang up right after.”

His co-worker laughed at that as he replied, “sure, see you at work.”

“See you.” Kaz hung up first, leaving Hajime to pocket his phone and look at Komaeda. He wore a hoodie but it wasn’t oversized and he held gloves in his hands. The two started heading out, once Hajime gave a brief explanation, to the Reserve Course Students’ dorm to grab the glasses. 

Nagito watched his crush take lead once they left his dorm; Hinata~Kun got the others’ glasses, led them to a bus, and then hiked a long while after arriving at a park. By the time they arrived in an isolated, snow-covered area, Nagito was tired. Hinata~Kun brushed snow off of a bench and they sat for a moment, Hinata~Kun had a hold of Nagito’s arm for support.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t warn you about the walk,” he smiled, sheepishly. Nagito gave him a reassuring smile.

“It’s alright, Hinata~Kun! The view of untouched snow is just as nice as playing in it!” With that, the two stared at the quiet snow evening. The trees overhead cracked, twigs falling from the heavy snow but nothing too dangerous would hit them. The cold was the least of their worries. Nagito looked down at his feet, which were covered in the snow they walked in. He kicked his leg up and watched the pieces of the discarded snow fly into the air before landing back on the ground, joining their snow brothers. Nagito gave a glance to his crush but ended up admiring him; his brown and spikey hair followed the gentle, cold wind, his green eyes almost seemed yellow from the sunlight that was going to sleep in just a few hours. That face...his face of content, like he was happy to be beside Nagito, happy to play like children in the snow once the albino had caught his breath. 

And play like children they did. Nagito caught Hinata~Kun off guard with a snowball to the shoulder, sending chills down the others’ spine from the cold. Quickly, he recovered and grabbed his own handful of snow. Nagito jumped behind a tree, taking cover as he heard the other boys’ snowball hit the tree. The lucky student began setting up his ‘ammo’, listening out for his friend so he wouldn’t get ambushed. Once he had a small pile of snowballs at his feet, he peeked out from behind the tree, scanning the area for Hinata~Kun.

It was as though he turned into the air; Nagito couldn’t find him in the snow. For a moment, he began to worry, stepping out from behind the tree before feeling an ice-cold snowball struck him at the center of his back. The lucky student spun around, seeing Hinata~Kun smiling, retreating away with a giggle. Nagito allowed himself to smile and picked up one of his snowballs, throwing it at Hinata~Kun but ultimately missing for now.

It was a fight for the ages; Hinata~Kun got a few hits in but once Nagito’s Lucky streak came around, the brunette’s hair was as white as his. In the end, they both ran out of ammo and Nagito chased the Reserve Course Student around, who dodged his reaching fingers. Both were breathless, slowing down as time went on while his feet and legs began to ache. Finally, Hinata~Kun stopped short and Nagito threw himself on the other, laughing as he did.

“I got you!” He exclaimed, his laughs going into the others’ heaving chest as he kept his arms wrapped around him.

Hajime’s face hurt from the laughing and smiling. He’s never felt so much like a child at this age...or any age at all. Was this what it felt like to take a break? To be a kid again, throwing each other around onto the freezing ground…

“Ah, I’m so sorry!” Komaeda reeled Hajime back into reality, watching the other boy sit up and away from him, flustered. He couldn’t figure out why until realizing that while laughing, Komaeda had laid on his chest. Hajime sat up, his face starting to burn through the cold.

“N...no, it’s alright!” the brunette quickly replied, a nervous smile on his face as he sat up from the snow. He could only look down, watching Komaeda’s hands start to tremble. Quickly, Hajime stood, motioning the other to follow.

“You’re starting to shake, we should stop by somewhere!” Komaeda, with the help of the Reserve Course Student, got to his feet and they began heading towards a building for warmth.

After a while, Nagito suggested a restaurant so they could eat but Hinata~Kun said that was “ironic, considering why you were put in the hospital in the first place” but the lucky student reassured his friend and they sat down in a restaurant with a warm atmosphere and light chatter around them. Nagito watched Hinata~Kun read the menu after they ordered their drinks, his cold tan hands gripped on the menu for dear life as his eyes seemed to read what he may be ordering over and over.

“Hinata~Kun, what’s wrong?” His voice seemed to startle the other, his head suddenly whipping up to return his stare, his eyes coming out of focus.

“W...what? No…nothing.” He stammered, flustered.

“I can order for you, Hinata!” Nagito smiled, kindly, deciding not to beat around the bush.

“Ah, no, I wouldn’t ask you to do that!”

“But you didn’t ask me too, I offered.” Nagito watched his friends’ lips open then close, his shoulders relaxed from the tension he hadn’t noticed held. Finally, Hinata~Kun sighed, defeated.

“Okay.”

After the brunette showed Nagito what he wanted, they waited for the server to round back. While waiting, a light-pink-haired girl caught the lucky students’ eye. He smiled and quickly waved her over.

“Nanami-Chan! Hello!” Hajime turned around to see his gamer friend in a waitress uniform, yawning as she made her way over.

“Komaeda, I’m so glad you’re doing alright.” Despite her tired aura, her gentle voice matched her smile. 

“I didn’t mean to worry you guys! I’m so sorry,” Komaeda gave an apologetic smile before feeling Hajime’s foot nudge his ankle.

“Well, I guess it wasn’t my fault, huh?” the gray-green eyes met Hajime’s green ones as if asking if that was the right thing to correct, and the brunette nodded. Slowly, he was learning not to put himself down and the Reserve Course Student couldn’t be happier about that. Nanami smiled at that.

“I’m happy to hear that. I’m sorry to cut this short,” she let out a small yawn, “I need to not get fired again.”

Hajime chuckled in his hand, watching their friend walk away, wobbling in tired energy. Komaeda looked back to him, smiling.

“Did I do better?” the question threw Hajime off guard but his stomach blew butterflies from the hopeful look in his eyes. He nodded, smiling like an idiot.

“Yeah, much better."