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9:29 Dragon
Anticipation permeated the atmosphere as Elissa wove her way through the throngs of party goers. The main hall of Denerim’s palace was alight and filled with people—so many that they spilled out through the open doors and into the courtyard beyond. On the eve of the Landsmeet, every noble in Ferelden would be present and accounted for at the palace. There was a hope that this Landsmeet in particular would further shape the future of Ferelden in a way that all who’d gathered were happy to see. That was a concern for tomorrow, however. Tonight, they would celebrate instead for the country they all so loved.
Elissa smoothed her hands over her dress, the thick blue fabric chosen specifically to highlight her eyes. With the family line secured by her nephew, her parents indulged her longer than they should have about making a suitable marriage. Unfortunately, her time had run out at last. A marriage contract would be signed by the end of the Landsmeet, whether Elissa wished it or not.
Of course, she would agree to whatever her parents chose for her. They only cared for her well being, and a suitable match would ensure she would be provided for the rest of her days. Though Fergus would have made sure certain she was, even without a marriage contract.
Her chest tightened as she tried to take a deep breath. Her dress didn’t fit quite right, not with the new shape her new body had taken as she’d increased her training in the months prior. Her parents hadn’t been pleased with that turn of events. Perhaps they thought she’d lose interest, as Delilah Howe had when she’d come of age, but she hadn’t. Fergus told her that every good Fereldan needed to know how to defend themselves and their home, so instead of giving up, she’d thrown herself into her training more fervently than ever.
It was only because she preferred the sword to the bow that the training truly upset them. Thankfully, not only did she have Fergus’s support, but the Queen of Ferelden herself encouraged Elissa’s continued training. Her morning sparring sessions with Anora had been one of the most cherished parts of her day since Elissa had been at the castle. It certainly helped that Anora was also one of her dearest friends.
As though she could hear Elissa’s thoughts, Anora caught her eye and winked. The two women may be separated by more than a half a decade, but there weren’t many daughters from the highest echelons of Fereldan nobility at court these days. Just the two of them, plus Delilah Howe and Izot Wulff. The four of them were near inseparable.
Both Delilah and Izot stood in a corner murmuring. Those two both had unmarried and unpromised brothers. If Elissa was duty-bound to marry, perhaps one of her two friends could end up the sister she’d never had in the process. Their brothers certainly wouldn’t be the worst of the arls’ sons she could manage.
Elissa let her eyes wander to find one of Izot’s brothers, Berchan. She liked Berchan well enough. He was a good brother to Izot and he loved Ferelden. That part was non-negotiable. The only problem with him, as far as Elissa could tell, was that he would inherit the West Hills arldom, which would take her far from her family at Highever.
Berchan shook hands with the man he was speaking to, a man with deep, reddish-brown hair, and the man turned. Teagan Guerrin’s beautiful eyes, as pale as the sky over the Waking Sea, met hers and for several beats of her heart, Elissa forgot to breathe. The edge of the man’s mouth lifted in a smile and Elissa turned away, finally sucking in a deep breath. Blighted dress was too tight, that must be it.
There was a comfort in knowing Teagan, the Bann of Rainesfere, was off limits to her. Nothing would—or could—ever come of the crush she’d secretly harbored for him. As he was a mere bann, her parents would never agree to her marrying him. No, Elissa Cousland would have a marriage contract that befitted her station as daughter of one of the two teyrns of Ferelden.
That reality didn’t stop her heart from fluttering when he was near and didn’t prevent her from spending far too much time contemplating the shape of his mouth. A harmless preoccupation, that was all it was. Certainly everyone had them from time to time.
Certainly.
However, she was also certain that others didn’t have hearts wanting to beat out of their chests as the object of their fascination approached.
“Bann Teagan.” She dropped into a curtsey before he could notice the flush that warmed her face.
“Miss Elissa Cousland. It is a pleasure to see you. You look beautiful tonight, as always.”
As much as she wanted to mumble her response at the floor, her years of training finally kicked in. She stilled her nerves and rose, lifting her eyes to meet his. “Thank you, my lord.”
He silently gazed at her and Elissa held it as evenly as she could. As though he finally made up his mind, he asked, “Would you do me the honor of dancing with me?”
“Yes.” The word slipped out before she could stop it, even if she’d wanted to. “Thank you.”
Teagan smiled and with a short bow, held out his hand. A warmth spread through her as Elissa held his gaze and slipped her hand into his.
9:31 Dragon
The castle was ensconced in silence as Elissa made her way through empty hallways. Arl Eamon and his troops had already departed and were on their way back to Redcliffe. Those who still remained would follow in the morn, led by their queen.
Elissa slipped through a side door and into the main hall. With Anora leaving for Redcliffe at dawn, the fires had been left to burn themselves out and a coldness had settled over the room. All the better to numb her aching soul.
At the first bench she encountered, she sank down and looked out at the empty hall. How long had it been since she’d danced around the ballroom without a care in the world beyond who her parents might choose as her husband? How long had it been since the future had felt limitless, instead of the darkness that now threatened to consume them?
Not long enough, she decided, and now her life had fallen completely in tatters and somehow she’d been left to keep hold of all the broken pieces.
She dropped her head into her hands just as a sob escaped, the sound echoing through the silent hall. She pressed her lips together, determined not to make another sound like the good noblewoman she was. If she would mourn, she would not show it.
Pain she’d always kept carefully locked inside. The pain of the past year had been even more contained than any she’d ever carried before. Her parents, her brother’s family, Duncan… and now she’d lost Alistair on top of everything else. He who had once been the brightness and beauty in her days amidst so much darkness was now as lost to her as the rest. He’d never forgive her for sparing Loghain, that much was clear.
With a hand over her mouth, she stifled the sob that once again threatened to escape. Alistair had forgotten that she lost Duncan too that day. Elissa knew what it was to lose everything. She already had and still she continued to lose more. Today she’d stood up for herself when she’d decided there would have been no point in killing Loghain, no matter what he’d done. After all, he’d done it for Ferelden. Hadn’t there already been enough death?
A subtle creak of the door opening reached her ears and Elissa straightened, hurriedly wiping the tears from her cheeks. She didn’t turn to see who it was, but soon enough someone settled down on the bench beside her. She stared straight ahead at the hall in front of her, waiting for the other person to speak.
When they didn’t, she finally glanced over.
Teagan. He was staring out at the empty hall that stretched before them, just as she had been. The two of them had run into one another at Redcliffe, in the immediate aftermath of Ostagar. It had been months ago, closer to that joyous day than today’s leaden skies. That last encounter had changed everything between them, too. Where there had once been a fluttering of her heart and lightness of her head, now she only felt a heaviness. After what happened at Redcliffe Castle… well, he’d born witness to one of her weakest moments when she’d been desperate and broken, and he’d turned her advances down.
Though she hadn’t at the time, she now recognized the kindness of his rejection. Even so, the harsh words she’d said in the aftermath were unforgivable.
“What do they want now?” she asked, trying to keep the bitterness from her voice.
He took a slow steady breath before he turned his face toward hers. “Nothing, as far I know. I came to see if you were all right.”
Elissa blinked at him. He’d come to check on her? After all she’d done? “Me?”
“Yes, Elissa Cousland. You.” He gazed at her with an intensity that she couldn’t bear as more tears stung at the back of her eyes.
She looked away.
He wordlessly held out a handkerchief. His kindness was too much, especially after she’d taken her frustrations out on him. He did not deserve to bear the brunt of her anger at the unjustness of what she’d been through.
When she took the handkerchief, he lowered his hand to the bench next to her. Elissa laid her hand on top of his. Her hand was so small next to his, though no less capable.
After several slow breaths, he flipped his hand over and intertwined their fingers, tenderly holding her hand as she mourned all that she’d lost, and all she still might lose.
9:33 Dragon
Though the main hall was once more covered in silence, it was different than the last time she’d been here. People filled every available space and an anticipation hung heavily in the air as they waited.
Fergus patted her hand. “Are you ready then, pup?”
“I am.” She beamed up at him and Fergus smiled back. It had been more than a year since they’d found each other once more in the aftermath of the Fifth Blight. So much had happened since that night atop Fort Drakon when she’d slain the archdemon… Truth be told, she was grateful to simply be alive after all that she’d been through.
There was more to be grateful for than simple life. There was once more a future to look forward to, and a future she didn’t have to survive alone.
Music began as she and Fergus walked down the center of the hall. If her joy had wings, Elissa would be floating toward the man standing at the opposite end: Teagan.
He’d seen the worst of her and loved her anyway, patiently courting her as she recovered from the Blight. Despite Alistair being less than pleased with the development, he hadn’t openly discouraged them. He might be king, but he wouldn’t dare speak out against her after what Elissa had done for Ferelden. They didn’t need Alistair’s as they had Fergus and Anora’s support, and with the blessing of those they loved most, their relationship blossomed into something far deeper than she’d expected all those years ago when they’d danced in this very hall. Especially after all that she’d now been through.
At the bottom of the stairs, Fergus gave her a kiss on the cheek before releasing her to ascend the stairs alone. At the top, Elissa reached out her hands to find Teagan’s already waiting. She squeezed his hands and turned toward the front of the hall, their fingers still interwoven.
The revered mother began, “In the name of the Maker, who brought us this world…”