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It was a beautiful afternoon in September and Emma, Killian, Robin and Regina were having a picnic in the small park of Storybrooke. Henry was having his own fun at Violet’s and the adults had decided to have a double date. The mood was a little subdued though and Emma just couldn’t figure out why. But Regina was not talking, and she was looking out of it. Robin on the other hand, was chatting happily with Killian about life in the open like they always were on this kind of dates. Normally Emma would use this as an opportunity to catch up with the mayor, but today Regina was clearly not in the mood to play catch-up.
“Is everything alright, Regina?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t it?”
“It’s just, you look a bit distracted today. Did something happen at the office? Is something wrong?”
“No, Emma, don’t worry, everything’s alright. I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking lately.” Regina said, and she looked at Robin with a pensive look. Then she looked at Emma and Emma saw a decision forming on Regina’s face.
“Robin, dear, can you come over for a second?” Regina called Robin over and Emma left them to give them some space, feeling that they were about to have a serious conversation. She walked over to Killian and she felt a familiar weight settle on her shoulders. She knew she shouldn’t feel this kind of things about the man she was supposed to love, but she couldn’t help it. In a few months time, he had completely slurped out all the fight left in her. He made her believe he was the only one who would ever love her for who she was, without conditions. At first, she had protested this, but slowly she had grown to believe it. And when Regina had started her relationship with Robin and her parents had another child, she had sought support and love with him. It had been the wrong decision, she knew it in the bottom of her heart, but the orphan in her hadn’t been strong enough to resist the lure of feeling wanted. At the start of their ‘relationship’, it had felt good, but after a month, everything good went out of the window. She didn’t feel safe anymore with him and yet she stayed, because who else would want her?
Emma took her book out of her picnic bag and tried to avoid Killian’s pleading gaze. She couldn’t find it in herself to be near him right now, not when she was worried about Regina. She went to sit down close enough to Regina and the thief that she could hear their conversation but far enough that it wouldn’t look like she was listening in. Killian looked really pissed and she knew there would be hell to pay when she came home after the picnic. He muttered some excuse about needing to go home and stalked off after having bid his goodbyes to Regina and Robin. They didn’t even bother interrupting their conversation.
“I don’t understand Regina; why do you want me to move out? I thought everything was going well between us? Where is this coming from?” Emma heard Robin whine and she felt a bolt of surprise shoot through her body. Regina was breaking up with Robin? Curiously, that idea instilled some hope in her, a feeling she had lost a while ago.
“I’m very sorry, Robin, but I can’t continue this. I appreciate you a lot, I really do, but I don’t love you like I should. I thought it could be enough, to have someone I care about, but it’s not. It’s not enough, I want to be with someone I love. I want to be someone who fills me with passion every time I look at them. I deserve to be with someone who keeps me on my toes. Someone I look forward to seeing after a hard day at work and who I want to wake up with every morning without exception. I want to be with someone, who doesn’t shy away from fights with me just under the pretense of keeping me happy. I want to make up with that person and have dinners to celebrate the end of our fight. I want to be with someone who makes me want to be better, but who knows I made wrong choices in my life and who doesn’t disregard them just because they are in the past. I need someone who understands who I was and who I’m trying to be. But above all else, Robin, I deserve to be someone’s first choice and I was never yours. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize, but it just hit me and if I want to be better, then I should start by being honest with myself. And the truth is that I don’t want you or this relationship.” Regina finished and took a deep breath, looking in Robin’s eyes and seeing nothing but confusion.
“But Regina, you’re my soulmate, my true love. You can’t just give up on that!” he answered.
“No, Robin, you’re not. You were my true love a long time ago, when I hadn’t gone down the dark path yet. But I have changed now and in this world and after everything I’ve been through, you’re not my true love anymore. I should be in love with you and god knows I’ve tried, but I’m not and I can’t change how I feel. Truth is, I fell in love with someone, without ever expecting it, but it’s time I stop denying my feelings and I must free myself. That way, if I ever have the luck of having these feelings returned, they will be my first and only choice. I’m done standing in the way of my own happiness and making the wrong choices.”
“I’ll be moved out by tonight, but don’t ever expect me to help you or support you again” he said, walking away with a sneer. Emma felt anger boil within her at this. For a supposed soulmate, he certainly didn’t put the happiness of his true love first. She wondered what Regina would do now. She felt the eyes of the brunette on her and she tensed in anticipation.
“Emma, I’m going to take a walk. I’m sorry for having been distant, we’ll catch up later this week during a lunch at my office, okay?” she asked
“Sure. I’ll see you soon Regina” Emma answered. She stay sitting in the park, with her book in hand and enjoying the relative calm of the moment. Her mind didn’t shut up though, it kept coming back to what Regina had said about what she wanted in a partner. Suddenly it hit her; she deserved that too. She didn’t deserve to feel afraid when she went home, she didn’t deserve to feel unhappy and unsafe in the arms of the person who was supposed to love her; she didn’t deserve to feel like a possession. On one hand, she wondered who Regina had fallen in love with, but on the other hand, she admired her for being courageous enough to break up with someone who didn’t really make her happy, even if that meant she was alone for now. Once upon a time, she had that strength too, she realized. And it was time she got her strength back. If Regina had the courage to break up with Robin, then she could break free from the hold Killian had on her. She went home, feeling lighter than she had in months.
When she came home, she saw that Hook hadn’t returned yet. He was probably on the Jolly Roger, drinking his ass off. She started packing up everything he owned and placed it by the door. She had paid for the house, so it was only fair that he left the place. By the time he came home, she had packed everything and the house felt more like her own than it ever had while they were living together. She told him she was done with him, that she needed to find herself back and that he wasn’t good for her. She didn’t let him say anything and told him to pick up his things, to get out and to never come back. She knew she had already regained some of her strength, because upon seeing the look on her face, he just did what he was told without protesting once. He slammed the door on his way out, muttering something about being relieved that he was finally able to leave Storybrooke.
6 months later…
Since that day at the park, Regina and Emma hadn’t seen eachother. Emma had sent Regina a text, saying that she and Hook were done, but that she needed time to find herself again. It had taken her a long time, but it was finally here. Emma finally felt like herself again and she felt ready to face the world again. In the last six months, only Henry had visited her when she was in Storybrooke. She had taken time off from work and she had travelled a little; she had even found her way to Tallahassee and it had been the start of her road to recovery. Today, she wanted to go have a picnic in the park to completely close the healing process. A celebration of sorts to celebrate having her old self back. She had ordered grilled cheeses from Granny’s and had brought a blanket to sit on. She settled herself under a tree, close to the place she had been reading her book that faithful day. She was enjoying the view and the food when she saw Regina walking across the park, probably on her way to the office. She looked as beautiful and as composed as ever. Emma called her over and after a surprised look from Regina, she was walking towards her.
“Well hello, Miss Swan, are you finally back in the real world?” Regina asked her a bit curtly.
“Who has bitten your ass today? I thought you would be happy to see me again.” Emma was surprised at Regina’s tone. Her eyes flashed and Emma saw anger rise within the mayor.
“You did, Emma. You disappeared for months, for months, Emma! I understand you wanted to heal from your break-up with that sleazy pirate, but you left town and didn’t come out of your house for 6 months. The only times I heard from you is when Henry came back from his visits to you. I thought we were friends, Emma and you left, without even telling me.”
Behind the anger, Emma felt the sadness pouring out of her words. “I’m sorry Regina; I left town to heal and I didn’t feel comfortable leaving the house. I didn’t realize you would worry about me.”
“Of course, I was worried about you Emma, you disappeared without a word of explanation. And for months I wondered how my best friend was doing.”
“You know, I broke up with Hook because of what you said when we were on that picnic and I realized that my relationship was more of a prison than anything else. And it rattled me, realizing that I had lost myself. And it took me a lot of time to find out who I was and who I wanted to be. I only wanted to face the world again when I was certain I knew the answer to that question and when I was sure I was the best version of myself.”
Regina’s eyes softened and she asked softly “And did you? Did you find the answers you were looking for?”
“Yes…yes I did. There’s only one question I haven’t found an answer to.”
“And what is that? Maybe I can help you find it?”
“When you were breaking up with Robin, you were talking about what you wanted in a partner. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to listen, but I couldn’t help but overhear. It sounded a lot like you were talking about someone real. Were you?” She asked, knowing that the answer could possibly break her heart. In the six months that had passed since the break-up, she realized that the only person that Emma had always been herself with, was Regina. And the hope she had felt when she had heard Regina break up with Robin, hadn’t weakened and slowly she had come to the realization that she also felt love for Regina and that she wanted more than anything to be the person Regina had talked about that day.
“I was, I fell in love with that person a long time ago, but I knew that between us nothing would ever happen, so I settled for Robin, because I didn’t want to be alone. But suddenly, it hit me. I couldn’t settle for him; he would never be my happy ending. So, I had to at least be true to myself. Why do you ask?”
“So, I was right, you were talking about someone real? You really are in love with someone? Why did you never tell me, Regina? You say we are best friends, but you don’t tell me you’ve found someone you want to wake up with every day? Who were you talking about?” Emma asked, on the verge of tears.
“Emma…I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to mess things up between us.”
“What? Why would you mess things up between us? Oh my god, don’t tell me you are in love with Hook?!”
“Are you completely crazy? No, Emma, I’m not in love with that bastard! It’s you! It’s you I’m in love with! I didn’t want to tell you because I love you.” Regina said with tears in her eyes. Emma surged forward and kissed Regina hard on the lips. Regina kissed back and she sunk in Emma’s embrace. Emma for her part, had never experienced a kiss like that. It was everything. It felt like home, like a promise of forever and she knew that she would never kiss anyone else ever again.
“I love you too Regina, I love you so much. If you’ll have me, I would love to try and be that person you described months ago.”
“I wouldn’t want anyone else” she joined their lips again and Emma knew she had finally found her own happy ending.