Chapter Text
The first thing Dazai felt was pain. Brutal agony that echoed across his body, and bounced back like a wave. At times the pain was at a sharp peak that Dazai swore he’d never escape from, and other times the pain receded to a light stinging. And yet even at the lowest pain, parts of his body stubbornly clung to the terrible pain. He could constantly feel it in his chest and head.
The second thing Dazai felt was nothingness. He spread his senses out and received no input. His chest no longer ached and his head no longer pained him so much that he could not even think. Instead he rode this emptiness as a boat in the sea. Grateful for the existence and the benevolence of the water. He embraced this nothingness. This was what he’d been seeking. This was his recompensation.
But the third thing Dazai felt was something. Something that wasn’t nothing.
Once more his brain received sensory input from his nerves, including the previous pain. While the agony had resided to a dull aching in his chest, an outside light burned the back of his eyelids red. He felt his eyes twitch and his hands move to block out the light.
Something wasn’t right.
Finally giving in to the inevitability, Dazai scrunched his eyes open. As he opened his eyes, a blank white wall met his eyes. There was no obvious light source, instead the wall itself seemed to glow and fill the room in its omnipotent light. Dazai turned his head, only to find that the entire room was that same strange glowing white.
Dazai quickly realised that he was on his back. He pushed himself to his feet and circled the room. The entire room, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, was that blinding white, a perfectly even and symmetrical white wherever he looked. Even running his fingers along the walls, Dazai couldn’t find a single crack, or location for a door.
And he was the only one in the room. A room with no entrance or exit. A room that was no more than 10 steps by 14 steps with a ceiling that Dazai could reach if he slightly extended one arm above his head. He was trapped alone in a cell like room, with a lingering ache still pulsing through his body.
He refused to believe this was death.
“Oh, you’re awake?” A voice, masculine and confident, called out from behind him. Dazai spun around to find a man standing at the opposite end of the room.
Dazai allowed his eyes to roam the other. He was short with stunning auburn hair and handsome features. Clothed in all black. A ridiculous hat perched on red hair, and a black coat hung around the man’s shoulders even though his arms didn’t dip into the sleeves. But what stood out most to Dazai were his eyes: bold and daring with a flickering of smoke in their irises, and his body: toned and clearly prepared for war, yet unmarred by injury. Even soldiers who’d yet to experience battle were stitched with training injuries.
Dazai opened his mouth, questions and comments and teases spiralling through his head. And yet, no sound escaped his throat. Dazai frowned, his mouth slipping closed before reopening. He tried again for the same result.
“Ah,” The smaller man approached Dazai, an understanding in his eyes, and a knowing grin on his lips. He stopped just before Dazai and placed a hand on Dazai’s shoulder. “Don’t think about talking. Think about what you want to say. Your vocal cords no longer exist.”
“Am I dead?” Dazai decided on that question. The question that burned brighter and fiercer the longer it lingered as if the unknowing was both the air and wood required to sustain it.
“Ah, not quite,” The tiny man’s grin froze to a grimace. “You, you do remember how you died? That you were sacrificed?”
“Ah, how could I forget?” Dazai squealed, bringing his hands to cup his face as he reminisced, “I finally got my painless suicide that wasn’t a hinderence to anyone. The village even endorsed it! Ah, my dream has been fulfilled: the perfect suicide!”
“G-good,” The chibi replied even as he not so subtly eyed Dazai. He coughed once before straightening his back (Was he trying to gain height? It only demonstrated his short status) and declaring, “I am the god you were sacrificed to. Arahabaki, the god of war and-”
“Wait, wait, wait! Hold it! Something doesn’t add up!” Dazai interrupted the chibi, waving his hands in the tiny man’s face to shut the man up. “How could a god be so tiny? Especially for a war god?”
And that question about his height completely broke the chibi’s composure. His face reddened slightly as he roared, “Who are you calling tiny?! Huh? And talking about odd, why are you wearing bandages!”
Dazai glanced down and with some surprise he noted that his bandages were still tightly wrapped around his arms and even what he could see from his legs. But more than that, he finally took note that he wasn’t wearing his signature beige coat, but was instead draped in a shapeless cut of black material that allowed his head to pop out the top and was sown around his arms and sides.
“Why wouldn’t someone wear bandages?” Dazai quirked an eyebrow at the chibi. “After all, they’re remarkably comfortable and create an amazing second skin.”
“A second skin?” The chibi questioned, but his expression cleared like Dazai had just revealed that humans required air to survive. “That would explain it.”
“It certainly explains why everyone should follow my lead and wrap themselves in these magnificent scraps of cloth!” Dazai preened. He waited to see how the supposed ‘god’ would react to his words.
As predicted, the chibi shook his head and explained, “You perceive yourself wrapped in bandages, so even your manifestation of self is dressed in bandages.”
“A manifestation of Dazai: the most beloved man in all the world would be naked without his bandages!” Dazai proclaimed, hoisting his hands above his head as he lamented, “Ah, I can hear the mournful sobs of the earth’s women, regretting their objection to committing double suicide with me.”
The chibi god snorted, “Can you take your bandages off?”
Dazai’s eyes ballooned as he stared at the god, his hands freezing and dropping down to his side. For a moment he was truly startled by the god’s words. However, he quickly salvaged the situation. He leaned towards the god, his eyes hooded. He purred, “How forward of you, Arahabaki-sama. Of course I can remove my bandages, but shouldn’t we wait until after the wedding?”
“W-wedding!” The god stammered, his face flushed, “Wh-who said anything about a wedding, idiot!”
“Oho? Is milord shy?” Dazai continued to tease. He tiptoed towards the god and ran a hand along the tiny man’s shoulder, “Why else would he require a human sacrifice?”
“Who wanted a human sacrifice!” The chibi denied, hotly. However, he made no move to pull away from Dazai.
“Why, you, Arahabaki-sama,” Dazai leaned further into the god’s side, practically whispering in the other’s ear, “That is why my village sacrificed me to you. I was to be your bride!”
“B-bride! But, but you're male!” This time the god tried to push Dazai away like he batted away Dazai’s words.
Dazai allowed the god to push him away before bouncing back to his original position. “You shouldn’t assume a person’s gender. Although, you are correct. I am male, but I have nothing against being the woman in our relationship. Unless, of course, you’d prefer to be my wife.”
“No one’s getting married!” The chibi screeched, pushing Dazai away with quite a bit more force than his previous attempts. The force sent Dazai flying and he hit the glowing white walls fast enough that his head snapped back. He fell to the ground in a heap.
With a groan, Dazai stood back up, a hand pressing against his head. However, he quickly noticed that no pain was emanating from where his head hit the wall. He ran his fingers over the location of the impact, to find no bumps or any kind of indication of a large impact. Pressing down on the wound, similarly resulted in no flare of pain.
Storing the information away, Dazai approached the god once more, no hesitation in his steps. “Oh, my I had no idea that lord Arahabaki was so promiscuous. Unfortunately, I am not that sort of girl. I have no desire to lose my virginity outside of marriage!”
“Huh?!” This time the chibi leaned into Dazai’s space, and each word he spoke was accompanied by a jab to Dazai’s chest. “Listen here, you idiotic womanizer, I have no need nor desire to marry anyone, least of all you. Like hell, I wanted human sacrifices! They’re irritating, and stupid, and most of all! They take up way too much space in my realm!”
“So,” Dazai continued, brushing away the god’s arm, “Lord Arahabaki has a sacrifice problem. Not to worry, I would never marry someone so tiny.”
“Who are you calling tiny!” The god raged, this time aiming a kick at Dazai’s head. The kick was light and Dazai was able to mostly twist out of the blow at the last minute. However, unsatisfied with the impact, the tiny god then proceeded to chase Dazai around the room, flinging insults and punches at him.
“Let me punch you, dammit!” The god screamed as his punch finally connected with Dazai’s face. However, Dazai noted that once again the impact didn’t hurt.
“It seems the chibi is sensitive about his height,” Dazai remarked, one hand rubbing his cheek where the god’s fist had landed.
“Sit down,” The god growled, gesturing behind Dazai.
Dazai was about to make a snide comment about not sitting on the ground, but he turned to find that two wooden chairs had materialized behind him. He sat down in the chair closest to the god, to annoy him. However, the chibi god merely rolled his eyes at Dazai’s antics and sat down in the opposite chair.
“So,” The god cleared his throat and started once more, when he was seated in his chair. “You have been sacrificed to Arahabaki, god of war and calamity.”
“Calamity? That doesn’t sound right. My village specifically sacrificed me to the anti-calamity Arahabaki, so if you could just point me towards that god, I’ll be on my way.” Dazai tried to rise out of his chair only to find he couldn’t stand up. His body was suddenly incredibly heavy, too heavy for his measly muscles to pull him up.
“There is no anti-calamity god,” The god, Arahabaki, sighed, “I don’t know who’d been spreading that rumour. Since it started going around, I’ve been receiving more sacrifices than I have the time to deal with.”
“So, Chibi is able to cause calamities, not remove them,” Dazai’s mind whirled as he thought through this new information that the chibi had given him. How was he supposed to save his family now?
“Don’t call me Chibi!” The miniscule god screamed before continuing, “But, that’s correct. I am not an anti-calamity god. Tell me your name, human.”
“Arahabaki-sama,” Dazai croned, “You may know me as Dazai Osamu.”
“Chuuya is fine, Osamu,” The chibi god corrected, “Arahabaki is one of the the names humans use to worship me.”
“So bold, Chuuya!” Dazai dragged out Chuuya’s name, “Are you sure you’re not trying to marry me?”
“I’m not,” Chuuya said, flatley, “Whatever gave you that idea.”
“Not even the girls who’ve wanted to marry me were bold enough to use my first name. You must really want to marry me, Chuuya!” Dazai continued to tease the god, not even bothering to acknowledge Chuuya’s comment.
However, Dazai’s words worked wonders. Chuuya actually flushed red as he mumbled, “The last girl insisted that I call her by her second name. Is that not appropriate?”
“Ah, so someone does want to marry Arahabaki,” Dazai commented and that was all he needed to say. Chuuya somehow flushed even redder, the blush spreading from his cheeks to his nose and neck. Honestly, Dazai thought it was adorable and mentally noted to recreate that flush another time.
“I doubt it,” Chuuya brushed the comment aside after a few moments of calming his blush (it had receded back to just his cheeks). “Anyway, Dazai, was it? As a sacrifice to Arahabaki, what is it that you wish to ask of me? I am willing to listen to any request.”
“If gods really are all powerful,” Dazai started, choosing his words carefully, “Then you should demonstrate it by ensuring my village’s harvests are bountiful.”
“Is that truly what you desire?” Chuuya leaned forward as he spoke. A single hand reaching out towards Dazai. “You need not parrot the demands of your village for I’ve already heard their desires. What I wish to know is what you, the sacrifice, desire.”
“With all due respect, Arahabaki-sama,” This time, Dazai spoke Chuuya’s godly name with reverence instead of the usual mocking. “I truly desire for my village’s famine to end.”
For a long moment, neither human nor god spoke. Instead they glared at each other, each daring the other to change their stance. Dazai noted that as Chuuya’s irritation intensified, the flickering of smoke in his eyes turned to red flames that sparked and sputtered as his anger faded away.
“How odd,” Chuuya finally broke the silence, and relented to Dazai’s resolve. “Every other sacrifice I’ve spoken too has voiced a differing desire to their village. And yet you do not.”
“The village has already granted my dearest desire,” Dazai shrugged as he placed a pleased grin on his face. He couldn’t let Chuuya realize just how false his words were. “It’s only fair that I request theirs in return.”
“You’re so odd that your reasoning almost makes sense,” Chuuya snapped before standing from his chair, motioning for Dazai to do the same. “I will think on your request. For now, I will grant you a room in my estate to rest.”
“You just have rooms for visitors to rest?” Dazai stood up and paced over to Chuuya. “Sounds like Chuuya has a large home. I wonder if it’s to compensate for something else.”
“Oh, shut up, you irritating flee!” Chuuya shouted, and yet Dazai noticed the hints of a blush that had all but faded on his cheeks spark back to life.
Before Dazai could say anything in response to Chuuya’s words, the room seemed to close in on Dazai. He closed his eyes, expecting to be crushed. However, when he realised that he could feel no pain and that he was still able to move, Dazai reopened his eyes.
The blank white room had disappeared. Instead, he found himself in a room more than twice the size of the bedroom Dazai and his brothers shared. The walls were no longer an eerie glowing white, but instead a dull gray. While the walls still boasted no cracks, to his left stood a door, presumably leading to the rest of the house. The other items of interest were the twin sized bed to his right, the desk that laid beside it, and the closet peeking open in front of him.
Dazai first inspected the door, only to find that it opened to a large hallway, devoid of people. He then checked the bed. Raised off the floor was a mattress that sunk down when Dazai applied any pressure. He hopped into the bed and couldn’t help but sigh as the softness of it engulfed him. The bed was heavenly. And the blankets were soft to the touch.
The desk was sturdy, built out of wood. Two drawers sat just below the flat surface. Dazai opened the left drawer to find it empty. The second drawer however, held blank paper, and an ink pen that looked suspiciously like his favourite pen that he’d lost a few years back. He pulled the paper and pen out of the drawer and placed it on the table before continuing his search.
Finally, he wandered to the closet and pushed open the door so that he could see fully into it. What he found inside amazed him. While there was nothing remotely breathtaking like the bed had been, inside the closet were several replicas of the outfits he owned at home. He leafed through the clothes to find that they were identical down to the tear he’d gotten on his coat sleeve when he’d fallen out of the tree outside his family home, and the blood stain that’d never been removed from his best shirt.
But more surprising than all of that was the single book Dazai found at the back of the closet: The Complete Suicide.
“Well,” Dazai spoke to himself as he eased himself back into the cloud filled bed aftering changing into his own clothes, his only book in hand. “Someone either knows me very, very well, or they stole all my living possessions.”